#if you saw me posting art and fic in the same night no u didn't

[mytardisisparked]

To Show That Time Has Passed

In the hospital, immediately after the events of DeadAlive, Mulder begins to notice just how much time has passed since he was in Bellefleur.

Read on AO3

He’s stuck in a sort of limbo where he knows he’s been gone for months – he can feel it, can sense it, can see the evidence of it in the people around him – but his mind still thinks that, just yesterday, he was in the woods around Bellefleur, Oregon with Skinner.

Her hair is longer. It’s shiny and healthy, which is an offset to the dark circles under her eyes. He can see the time that has passed in the red strands, set aglow by the faint hospital lights around him. She tells him he’s been gone for over six months.

His face itches. She holds his hand in hers and tells him not to scratch it. 

There’s a memory floating just underneath the surface, attached to the scabs on his face. He doesn’t touch it. He lets the mild sedatives he’s currently on keep the memory out of reach. He’s not ready.

She’s happy to see him. She’s missed him for six months and he can see every mile of that in her eyes. He loves her even more for it, though he can feel guilt looming, hard and heavy, over his head. He suspects that it will set in once he leaves the hospital and all of its safety; once they return to reality and he has to face the time he has missed more fully.

He keeps studying her face and sees something else tucked away behind her gaze. She’s holding something back and she’s itching to let it out.

“Scully?” His voice rasps.

She holds his hand, her thumb drawing nervous little circles ever-so-gently against his skin.

“Mulder.” She’s being avoidant – she’s always been a bad liar. 

He tilts his head at her in a silent question and she crumbles, bringing his hand to her lips as a fresh set of tears line her eyes in silver. 

“You were away a long time and– and I’m trying to ease you back into everything.” She gives him a weak smile, and he pulls his hand from her grasp to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, brushing his fingertips over her cheek.

“I appreciate that, but something’s clearly eating you.”

She chokes out a watery laugh. “Not exactly.”

Confusion washes over him until, with a hesitant smile, she sits back and rests a hand on her belly.

Oh?

Oh.

Oh.

“You’re–” he chokes on the next word; the weight of the months he’s been gone and all of the guilt he knew he would eventually feel finally hit him. 

She nods and looks down at the swell of her abdomen. 

At her baby. He thinks, feeling a little dizzy. Scully finally got her baby.

He’s too tired and sedated to consider how that baby came to be, but he can see the joy in her eyes, even through the frame of tears. She’s wanted this for so long and she’s happy. 

He feels happy, too, despite everything.

He reaches up to scratch his face. She catches his hand before he can. 

“Mulder, you’ll open your wounds.” She keeps his hand in hers, warming it. 

“Sorry,” he gives her a sheepish smile. His eyes fall back to her waist.

Now that she’s bent toward him, he can’t really see the bump, but he’s hyperaware of its existence; of the baby’s existence. He wonders how she manages to think of anything else, because he sure as hell can’t.

He wonders how far along she is.

“Mulder you should get some rest.” As soon as the words leave her lips, he feels the truth of them in the weight of his eyelids. He blinks slowly and she smiles. “I’ll still be here when you wake up.”

He knows she means it, which is the only reason his mind lets him fall asleep. 

In his dreams, he sees a mobile made of stars and a tiny figure bundled up in the blanket his mother used on him and Samantha. The baby within giggles in delight as the stars above swirl and twinkle. 

If he has any other dreams that night, any nightmares , he cannot remember.

[zarchomp]

saw a post on tiktok joking about riley from inside out discovering Wattpad in the first movie and AO3 in the second movie which like,,,,, relatable middle school experience.

a bunch of the comments were saying stuff like "and just WAIT until she discovers chai". i didn't know what chai was, but i DO know that ao3 isn't as popular in a lot of fandom spaces these days so i checked it out, wondering if it was something new, but turns out it's character ai?

which is SO interesting to me because like,,,, the whole thing that i've always LOVED about fandom spaces is the act of mutual creation.

i feel like the thing that is so amazing about fandom isn't just that it's a continuation of the canon stories, but that it's an entirely different way to create relationships with stories. exploring your relationship to a character, as a consumer, and using that to become a creator. taking what resonates to you from the canon and further exploring that tiny facet of it.

i remember that post on here from about ten years ago that argued that canon which tends to be dark has a lot of fanwork that's more lighthearted (college aus, post-war slice of life stuff) whereas lighter canon material gives way to darker fanwork. that sort of relationship with the text, a willingness to explore it on all fronts, is what makes fandom kinda amazing.

the way that popular fanfictions completely recontexualize fanon as a whole. how popular pieces of fanart can affect the way the fandom interprets characters and their relationships to each other. fandom has ALWAYS been interesting because it's constantly building on itself. it's like one giant mass that's influenced by thousands of people and each of the individual ways that they resonate with the text.

to me, fandom was never a passive experience. growing up with a lot of mental illness, relating to people in real life wasn't easy. but in an online space where the only thing i needed to enter a thriving community was opinions on different characters and relationships, i could find a space for myself. i know a lot of fanartists and fic writers and general fandom people feel the same way.

and i was kinda shocked at the amount of people who go to ai for fandom. i know back when chatGPT first got big, a lot of people were using it to write fanfiction. and i just think is totally misses the fundamental joy of fandom. because like, i want to read something written by someone who cried while learning about sasuke's backstory.

i want to see art by someone who's stayed up all night scrolling ship tags on tumblr. the whole point of fandom, to me, isn't just that my brain latches onto *thing* and so i want more *thing* (which it does). but i want that more *thing* to be created by someone who has thoughts on the text. someone who watched voltron and said "yeah this is kinda cool but i have ideas about keith's characterization in season three that i think was underexplored in the show and i want to try my hand at it".

anyways, i am so appreciative towards anyone who's ever drawn characters in their styles, had them wearing silly costumes, put them in an pokemon au, started conversation about which college major u think the dungeon meshi characters would choose.

everyone who writes and creates original stories about ur faves suffering, bleeding, owning a pet store, celebrating their birthdays, having sex for the first time.

the act of mutual creation which defines fandom is incredible. the fact that there's a whole community of people who have different takes on characters, who hotly debate whether it makes more sense if the character with the canonically horrific backstory would still have that backstory in the modern day. it's what makes these communities alive, active places that you can explore. it's incredible.

the ability to see a text, and to create such a personal relationship with it that it sparks more creation. that's what it's about.

[heich0e]

if you've sent in an ask lately that i didn't respond to, it may be answered under the cut! i'll be dividing these posts up by general subject matter so no one has to scroll for too long to find any asks they may have sent. feel free to block the tag #liv got mail if you don't like seeing posts like this. i'm sorry to have kept you waiting, and p.s. i love you very much <3

part four: fic stuff, etc. ✉

✉ Anonymous asked: liv no one writes suna like you how am i supposed to go on when you hate him (affectionately)

u should try hating on him too it's very liberating and he's an easy target <3

✉ Anonymous asked: not a day goes by when I don't think about pollute I deeply thank you for making it 🩷😔🙏

ahhhh yes... polluted.... my gang-num opus.... thank u for enjoying one of the nastiest things i have ever written we are in this together now!!

✉ @just-jordie-things asked: hello here like everyone else to make sure you get so much love for your mini series with megumi 🤗🤭 (and also i just binged the rest of your work too 😭 😂) i love your writing style it’s so addicting i feel so involved in your stories. and i just loooove how you write megumi !! excellent work i hope you had fun with it!! have a great day/night 🫶

HI JORDIE!! u are SO KIND!! i am so happy you enjoyed the series (and hopefully whatever else you read!!) and i really really really REALLLLY appreciate you taking a moment to share these sweet words w me. sending u love and endless gratitude!! <3

✉ Anonymous asked: Hey Liv, just wanted to reach out to you

Hopefully you don't feel overwhelmed or something like that regarding your last series and everything that came along with it (also your last asks were... Let's say bizarre), so I just wanted to remind you that while I think you're an amazing writer and love what you post, I do not simply follow you for the content you put out: in fact I've become more an more interested in your persona, I think you're hilarious and witty and kind and I find myself looking forward to even you reblogging art and your keysmashes in the tags

Thank you for being so special Liv!!♥️🤩

this really ought to have gone in the love letter section because it's so incredibly sweet of you to say. u might have questionable taste in girlbloggers but omg your heart is so beautiful and kind :') thank YOU for making me FEEL so special, and for taking the time out of your life to do so. i adore u more than i could ever say and i am sending u roughly 92 MILLION kisses. love u so big.

✉ Anonymous asked: hi liv! whenever u see this i just wanted to say that im sorry u felt like u couldnt continue posting smth u created and had fun making onto ur little corner of the internet that we all have the privilege of sharing w u 🖤 it rlly does hurt when smth we make and are excited to share with others isnt met w the same kind of enthusiasm. even tho it's understandable why some ppl weren't huge fans of ur mini megumi series, im sure it was still a bit hurtful. i just wanted to say that everything you create, no matter who likes or dislikes it, is beautiful and deserving of love and recognition for the effort, time and emotions you put into making it. i hope ur break is relaxing and lovely, and i cant wait to continue supporting u and ur creativity when u get back 🖤🖤🖤

thank u little guy. i appreciate you and these words very very much <3

✉ Anonymous asked: just read the Megumi drabble series and saw your prev asks answering the continuation of it, and let me just say that (a) i LOVED the series it's absolutely adorable and also angsty and (b) i completely understand if you decide not to continue!!!! i just wanted to show some support ❤️❤️ your writing's incredible ❤️❤️ regardless of if it'll continue or not, it was an amazing read!

thank you for reading and enjoying it!! you are so sweet!! sending u a big tight squeeze

✉ Anonymous asked: LOVE YOUR LATEST MEGUMI FIC!!! I know it’s easier said than done but I hope you become more comfortable with posting whatever you want in you little corner of the internet!!!

ahhhhhh i hope so too!! and i am so grateful you enjoyed it!! thank you friend <3

✉ Anonymous asked: I loved the recent series of veterinarian Megumi and his son so much, I loved your writing. I understand you're not going to continue, but I appreciate you writing it anyway.💓

and i appreciate u reading it!!!! and enjoying it!! it means so much to me!! blowing u a big kiss rn

✉ Anonymous asked: hi hi Liv ❤️ I just wanted to say I respect your choice to not post more of your oopsy baby series to prevent others from becoming uncomfortable, and I just hope it doesn’t diminish your own joy for writing and creating.

I think it’s totally fair to acknowledge that you hadn’t included a warning or anything about the kid (almost definitely) being Megumi and reader’s, cuz that happens sometimes! Things slip through! But at the same time people don’t have to keep reading if they get to a point they’re not enjoying it.

I think I speak for a lot of people when I say I just want you to be happy in your space, so whatever way you choose to achieve that is of course the best choice for you ❤️❤️

hi hi FRIEND!! thank you for such sweet words and for being so understanding and kind. LOVE UUUUUU

✉ Anonymous asked: just wanna compliment you cause its honestly so impressive that you managed to write and outline multiple stories in the past two weeks. you never fail to amaze me with your creativity keep up with the amazing stuff and take care of yourself :)

i feel so SO lucky to have an outlet to dump all my silly little ideas into when they strike, and to have people (like you!!) who are there to enjoy them along with me!! hope you're well sweet thing!!

✉ Anonymous asked: PLEASE GOD YOUR WRITING IS IMMACULATE. LIKE DOWNRIGHT SWEEPING ME OFF MY FEET IN HAPPINESS WHEN I SEE YOU POST IMMACULATE.

write whatever makes you comfortable, parenthood or not because after all, YOU are the one who is writing it and everyone has their own responsibility to scroll if they dont like your comment. anyway, sending lots of love, YOU DESERVE IT ALL!!

WAHHH u are so kind!! sending u a big squish and so much love right back <3 and thank you for such a lovely bit of reassurance i appreciate u!!

[one last note: there were some other asks about the mini megumi series that i wasn't sure if i should include. i never want to post or share anything that someone might interpret as targeted, or alienating, or sensitizing in any way—and i'm ready to move on and not rehash any old wounds. i know they all came from a very kind place, and i am so truly and sincerely appreciative of anyone who reached out to check on me, or support me, or tell me that they enjoyed the series. love u always and tremendously, liv. xx]