#if you read this all the way through you're probably a god and im scared of you? but also ily

[sockiess]

im back ELOHEL (im sorry these are like all sam, im just obsessed with him😣) telling sam you're pregnant, and you think he's gonna get mad and leave you, but he's actually so reassuring about like ☹️☹️ but hes definitely like screaming on the inside cause YOURE PREGNANT 😭😭‼️‼️‼️‼️

we are not gonna mention how late this is!!! 🤗

Pregnancy

warnings: pregnancy and sex mentions (please use protection yall 🙏 unless you’re planning to have a baby than good luck with your journey and I hope it works out)

I starred at the white stick with the word Pregnant starring back at me. I was shaking and tears where running down my face. I mean me and Sam where only 19 —and yeah this was our fault— I mean we didn’t always use protection when it came to sex but it’s still scary and shocking. I had called Sam to come over before I took the test because I knew that if I was pregnant I wouldn’t be able to keep control of myself. And if I wasn’t pregnant I could just tell Sam that we needed to be safer and use protection. Well it was obviously to late for that now.

I knew Sam would be here any minute now so I quickly cleaned up and tried to stop crying. I quickly put the stupid little stick in my pocket and sat on my couch waiting for him to come in. I didn’t bother locking the door and I knew he was here when I heard his foot steps outside my apartment door.

Sam opened the door and softly closed it after he saw my red and puffy eyes. “Baby?” Sam asked softly as he sat down in front of me. “What’s wrong?” He whispered rubbing my thighs and cupping my cheek. “Sam we have to talk” I quickly stood up and stepped away from him. Sam quickly stood up with me and starred at me with sad confused eyes. “What’s wrong?” Sam asked again. “You’re going to hate me” I whispered and quickly moved away from his touch when he tried pulling me closer to him. “Love you’re really scaring me.” Sam said quickly. I just broke down in tears and hugged him crying into his chest. “Just tell me what happened.” He spoke softly playing with my hair. “I’m so so sorry” I sobbed into his chest. “For what?” He stopped playing with my hair but kept his hand resting on my head. “I messed up so badly.” I sobbed even more. Sam softly pulled me away from his chest and looked at me with scrunched eyebrows. “you think that I’m going to hate you and that you messed up…did-did you cheat on me or something?” He blurted out. I starred at him with wide eyes and finally registered what I had said probably sounded like I did cheat on him. “God no.” I quickly said. “Than what’s wrong?” He asked again this time looking mad.

“i’m pregnant.” I blurted out, not him wanting to think that I cheated on him or hurt him in any way. His expression dropped quickly and so did his arms. He starred at me with an expression I couldn’t read. I could see his breathing start to get heavier and he quickly sat down. “When did you find out?” He spoke softly. “45 minutes ago.” I answered as I sat down beside him. “I understand if you want to leave me.” I said to him. “what?” he quickly answered and whipped his head around me. “you think i’m going to leave you to deal with this by yourself?” He asked. “I mean most men don’t want to have children at 19” I said softly. “Yeah well i’m not most men” Sam mumbled while pulling me into his lap.

“Sammy i’m scared” I whispered. “Me too baby..me too” He responded. “But you don’t have to do this alone. I won’t let you.” He said. “What are we going to do?” I asked. “Whatever you want darling, it’s your body and i’ll support whatever decision you make” He smiled at me. “We’re going to be parents” I laughed out through my tears. “We are going to need a bigger apartment” He laughed back. “Good thing I have an amazing boyfriend who knows how to build houses.” I wink at him. “Sammy?” “yeah?” “I love you” “I love you too”

TEEHEE SORRY ITS SO LATE POOKIE😞💔 BLAME TUMBLR💔 I HOPE YOU LIKE IT AND IF YOU WSNT ME TO CHANGE OR ADD ANYTHING LET ME KNOW🫶🫶

[iheartmalewives]

Since you're online again i was hoping you cpuld mayhaps open your requests again? :3 and if so could you perchance write an idia aquarium date?

Aquatic Sceneries are Enjoyed Best With the Right Company ☆

HI OMG 😭 THANK GOD IM BACK AFTER A WHOLE ASS YEAR OF DISAPPEARANCE. Ive been so caught up with everything that I totally forgot about tumblr 😓😓 Im back now and will be taking requests! I have deleted the old requests as they probably dont want to read it anymore hshsjd ;; so if you have any new requests, tell me in my inbox ^^

An aquatic date with a special someone was one of your dream dates. You loved seeing marine life and the habitat they live in through a glass, but seeing it with someone you love was definitely an added point.

And of course, you had to drag Idia Shroud on a aquarium date. You two have been dating for a while but you've only ever had your date nights indoors. Initially, you didn't mind it. You always wanted Idia to feel comfortable no matter what. But this time, you just couldn't resist going on this trip with him!

It took you 5 whole days to persuade him, 5 whole days of begging on your knees and giving him all kinds of limited edition items just to convince him. Thankfully, he eventually agreed.

In the serene Aquatic area, with only a few people around, the two of you stood, captivated by the sight of fish gracefully swimming. "I can't stand these things..." he mumbled, lightly tapping on the glass, causing the fish to scatter in fear. And in that moment, a look of horror washed over his face as he turned to you exclaiming, "Even the fish are scared of me!"

"No they're not. They're like that! See—" As you tapped on your side of the window, contrary to his experience, the fish didn't scatter at all. Instead, they became drawn to your finger, as if it were fresh bait, swimming closer with curiosity and interest. "Nevermind."

"S-See? They hate me." He pointed at the fishes accusingly.

"No, they dont." You provided reassurance by linking your arm with his before leading him to another area. The two of you continued to explore, marveling at the diverse species you encountered along the way. With each new sight, Idia's curiosity and interest grew stronger.

Certain fish were particularly drawn to his hair, which seemed to radiate various shades of blue, illuminating the room with vibrant hues. "Look, we can eat that." You playfully said, pointing at a humongous fish that swam around slowly.

"Ew. No." He frowned. "I hate seafood with like a BURNING passion."

"Is that a pun?"

"Maybe." He grinned, showing off those razor-sharp teeth that you always thought was endearing, even if it scared a few people alway. "But NGL, I could definitely catch these things."

"In what? A game?" You asked sarcastically, watching the tips of his hair turn a shade of pink. "Duh. Those types of games are easy win. GG fishies." He said, glancing at the tank next to you, the smirk on his face causing you to laugh softly.

"Right. Let's enjoy this rather than thinking about killing the fishes. Oh— What about a pic?"

"I don't do pictures!" He squeaked, his eyes widening in slight horror.

"Come on, Ids. Pleaaase?"

"I already came here. Isn't that enough? This is not a normal habitat for me."

"Pleaaaseee?"

"F-Fine!"

You grinned and took out your phone, taking a selfie, with Idia trying his best not to shy away; his hair was slowly turning pink.

But then again, this whole date was a dream come true for you and he couldn't care less about getting embarrassed as long as he makes you happy. (and get you to buy more figurines for him even though he can afford it all)

a/n: hoping this is enough for a come back 😭 again, open for requests

[ohbo-ohno]

omgomgomgomggggg u mentioned reader locked in a cage watching her stuffed bear through the bars and my mind immediately started racing. do u think when they have her locked up they sit just outside the bars teasing her with her stuffed bear shaking him around just outside her reach? taunting her and cooing when tears slide down her cheeks😭they throw a blanket over ur cage and leave u there for “puppy’s nap time” i’m actually shaking

oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my

this is a little long one because both of these concepts have killed me and i lost control of myself

im shaking. hyperventilating. quivering. i am an unrecognizable person after reading these asks.

forced into a cage fucking GETS ME!!! noncon puppy play you will always be famous. both of my noncon/dubcon ghostsoap puppyplay things (say that five times fast) have johnny falling into a type of subspace really quickly so i haven't actually gotten to write a lot of a forced puppy reacting badly and i want to so MUCH!!! might do it with ghostsoap in a follow up to the thing i just posted honestly. it's so fucking delicious

but anyways. in this au the cage you get shoved in isn't johnny's cage, it's one they made for you so you can keep them company during their murderous free time. that means the cage is small, you-sized :( you can't sit up straight in it, can't stretch your legs out the whole way, can't even really kneel straight up. a tiny little space for a tiny little girl oh im going to be SICK

i like the idea of reader having a little nest of her own in their cabin, filled with soft things for her to relax into (and, of course, a hook for them to leash her to) so i feel like her cage in the basement is probably a little ugly. probably no blankets or pillows, shoved in the middle of the room somewhere so there's no place where you can hide (aka press yourself against the wall), leaves you exposed and vulnerable and cold. poor little puppy :( crying and sniffling and begging them not to force you in, but they just chuckle and ruffle your hair a bit, force you to your knees.

all that being said: your little bear johnny and bear simon are in the bad cage with you <3

the stuffy (im calling it a bear but fill in an animal if you'd like) is a total comfort object for you, something that has gone through every bad thing right by your side. when they fuck you, you almost always have the bear in your arms. when they force you to their torture dungeon, the bear is either in your arms or in your eyeline. maybe one of the times they hunt you simon slips the little bear into your arms while johnny is fucking you in the dirt, smirks a little when you thank him and hold it tight to your chest.

if you get really worked up from what they're doing one of them throws an old blanket over your cage. it makes everything so much worse - you can't see anything, you're left alone in this cold dark space, and you can still hear every sound of pain and the tools your kidnappers are using. but for some reason you feel more vulnerable in the dark (like a bird lol) so you go quiet, hunch down real low and squeeze your eyes shut so you can't see the bloodstains on the blanket. simon on johnny think they're helping you cause you don't sound nearly as scared when you can't see anything <3 gives them horrible ideas involving blindfolds but that's another thing

johnny keeping your bear from you. it's like the two of you want me dead. “do you wanna come out now?🥺” “you want your bear??🥺” “are you gonna be a good girl now???🥺🥺” and "teasing her with her stuffed bear shaking him around just outside her reach? taunting her and cooing when tears slide down her cheeks" like im so fucking GONE it's actually not even funny.

you get real puppy-like when they make you beg for your bear. little paws held out, eyes all big and teary, panting and wiggling around cause you want your toy so badly. simon telling you to take the stuffy with your teeth, and you whine because you don't want to bite your bear!!!! but he says johnny and i bite you all the time, puppy, if you can take it so can your bear so you finally lean forward, get a little loose hold on the stuffy's leg where johnny's holds it out

but he's so mean, because he doesn't let it go :( just smiles real big at the sight of you on your knees, little puppy toy between your teeth. go on, he'd say take it, lass. and you try!!! you tug it a little, shake your head a bit, but he won't let go!! he won't give you your bear!!!

until simon tells him to, a gruff that's enough tug o' war, johnny, she's been a good girl. hand it over. and then the stuffy is yours again, finally. you'd tuck it up right in your arms, hold it close to your chest and bury you nose in the soft fur with your eyes squeezed shut. you ignore the little coos from above you, fully throw yourself into loving on your bear

[yxstxrdrxxm-a]

Hiiii I’d like to say good job on the match-ups!! They’re fun to read, and it makes me more excited for my turn (assuming my form was properly sent). And Cupid + Eros’s lore?? Very interesting, given their shady Boss and the yandere consequences of their services :0

Also, my apologies if my form was quite extensive. I rarely participate in matchups, so I figured I’d go all out for my first (and probably last) one for Genshin ^^;

At any rate, I honestly don’t know who I’ll get so the results will be interesting. Sending lots of chocolates to Cupid and Eros ^o^

"Afternoon, Cupid," Eros greeted them, watching them enter the room while they worked on the matchups. Cupid yawned and sipped on the boba drink they bought while they were out.

"Afternoon, Eros... What are you doing?"

"Clearing your three page worth of messages."

"... Now?"

"Yes. Now. Seriously, you never do it."

Pausing at a certain message, the duo began to read through what it means, and Eros seems surprised. Blinking a few times, they turned their gaze to a stunned Cupid.

"Hey, Cupid. Look who came after Ana."

"..."

"Cupid?"

"Oh my God— that's Jessamine!" They exclaimed, placing down their drink to grab Eros by the shoulders and shook her. "It's Jessamine Rose! It's Jessamine! She came to see our work at MixMatch!"

"Woah, woah there— you're excited to see her, huh?" Eros teased, seeing that the guest left them something nice.

"Well, let's greet our guest properly, Cupid."

"Yes, let's!"

Putting this on a readmore to rant BAHAHAHAHAHA IM SORRY I SAW THIS AND I WENT "no way."

And this happened (ooc)

(I lost it on a server with my friends and Ansy is like "lol you're more scared of Jessamine than the literal face of Yan content" like YES HELLO???)

HELP I WANTED TO DO MORE BUTHWIDHDIDH I AM SITTING HERE LIKE. OH MY GOD??? YOU JOINED????

I'm having a fangirl moment. Pls. That's so.

I apologize for what I have become but I am also not sorry because this made me SO happy yesterday. I had to do this justice HSIDHDIDJDN

Just. AAAAAAAAAA

IM SO SO HAPPY YOU'RE ENJOYING THE ENTRIES IM 😭 /pos

Cupid + Eros's lore?? Very interesting, given their shady Boss and the yandere consequences of their services :0

Tbh the lore rn is at like the beginning because haha. First week. Not even valentine's. But fr their boss is shady but MAN things are gonna go wild thats uh. That's for sure HAISHEJBS (< thought about putting a deadline at the end of Jan but went "nahhh let's go February"... I'm a dumbass but dw abt it)

And no need to apologize if your form is extensive!! I love reading long answers and it makes me so giddy seeing what people say abt themselves + who they like. I'm happy you joined mine though, and I'm looking forward to see your reaction to your own matchup when I get to it!

Sending lots of chocolates to Cupid and Eros ^o^

Dear God this is why Cupid is on a sugar high and crashed hard (/exag but fr, both enjoyed them HAISBSJEN)

Anyways, so sorry for the long post but!!! Thank you for the ask ;v; I hope you enjoy how badly this matchup can crash and burn with the establishment being SHADY as hell BAHAHAHAHAHA

[selfdiagnosedeyemotif]

this is beyond late but if you are willing to bite. for the character ask, maya & franziska?

my dear fellow it is NEVER too late to take me up on ask games.

Maya

Favourite Thing: i simply ADORE the burden of responsibility as a trope and maya pulls it off in SPECTACULAR fashion. you can feel the fear and uncertainty she feels about her role as the master of kurain through the screen when she finally opens up about it in bridge to the turnabout (and the little crumbs we get about it in reunion and turnabout) (and it's only augmented by the fact that it was suddenly thrust upon her by mia's departure)

Least Favourite Thing: a bit of a nitpick but there are some aspects of the mechanics of maya's channelling that give me a bit of an ick (channelling mia. go figure), but i do like the way the technique plays into the mystery during reunion and bridge

Favourite Line: either her little speech to nick before she leaves for kurain at the end of goodbyes or her so desperately trying to protect diego during the dying light of bridge, can't decide between the two

brOTP: PHOENIX!!!! they're such best friends. they mean so much to me. its like. everything that apollo and trucy did in aa4 (which i notoriously also love), only with way more time to develop and simmer, so it's like. perfect. i love maya and phoenix

OTP: i have two ships that completely consume my mind. one of them is not for this fandom. the other is franmaya. they're such unexplored narrative foils...

nOTP: i mean. phoenix. 'nough said

Random Headcanon: i think that, for all of her hyperactivity (at times), she embroiders in her free time, and got pearl into it as well during the seven-year gap. pearl quickly surpassed her.

Unpopular Opinion: STOP SHELVING HER IN YOUR FICS, PEOPLE. SHE DOESN'T GET ENOUGH LOVE. PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU IS THIS THING ON

Song: Soulgazing by Gregory and the Hawk (vibes alone, im bad at assigning songs to characters)

Favourite Picture: this redraw of her unused objection sprite by @/u3pxx, i love it so very much

Franziska

Favourite Thing: the sheer hurt and terror that sits at the corners of her character but never gets touched on outside of the airport scene because good GOD there's so much guilt and shame for her imperfection and terror about turning out like her father and CAN I TALK ABOUT THE BULLET. THAT DAMNED BULLET.

Least Favourite Thing: not enough screentime. i need more franziska content like i need air

Favourite Line: "You, you're running away from Von Karma… from me!?" "So… you're leaving me behind again!? I'll never… Never forgive you for this!" from The Forgotten Turnabout in aai2 because HELLO??? this is one of the most important pieces of franziska characterization we get EVER because a), she's still clearly still holding onto her father's memory, or at least the pedestal she had him on, b), it showcases how quickly she turns to wrath as soon as the chips are down, and c), MOST IMPORTANTLY. LISTEN TO HOW SCARED SHE IS. or dont listen i guess but like. still. she sounds TERRIFIED of losing her brother all over again.

brOTP: torn between either edgeworth because i love the vk sibs or kay because their friendship is adorably sweet and pretty underrated part of aai

OTP: once again franmaya cuz. god. theres so many emotions.

nOTP: cant think of any that i genuinely dislike besides the Nigh-Universally Hated One (her and edgeworth) so im gonna say that

Random Headcanon: she doesn't give phoenix the calling card during the hazakura temple investigation. she wants to. she has it on her and everything, but she couldn't work up the courage to do it. way down the line, deep into the 7yg, she shows up to the wright residence, has a long chat with phoenix, and finally gives it to him

Unpopular Opinion: i know its been said a lot that she probably does have some normal teenager aspects to her (the example ive seen the most is "owns a hello kitty tshirt and reads yuri fics"), but i think she's a little too repressed to have that until at least after aa3. maybe she gets a little more normal during the 7yg but im not sure yet

Song: Top of My School by Katherine Lynn-Rose because come ON. you've seen the animatic with the clip of that song over franziska stuff. if you haven't then you will soon cuz its linked here (full song first, then the animatic)

Favourite Picture: this wonderful number by the incredible and talented @/ind1c0lite because uh. i like fran angst.

[justmeinadaze]

https://www.tumblr.com/justmeinadaze/721864452608311296/i-thought-the-fic-about-demon-eddie-steve-was?source=share

Like I thought steve & Eddie where dating.... And the whole comparing the reader to Chrissy just makes me think he doesn't even like the reader he just likes the way the reader is so much like Chrissy which is kinda sad cause I thought Eddie and Steve where together the whole time

Not in this story, my love. Part 2 is actually the first time I've alluded to them having being intimate at all which I will expand on more in other chapters.

Now for your second question I am going to choose my words carefully and speak from experience. On ward to below the "Keep Reading" line!!

You don't have to answer because again Im speaking from my own experience but have you ever lost someone suddenly like that? Someone you loved that you literally just spoke to and then they were gone the next day?

In my story, Eddie loved Chrissy a lot. Again she saw through the image he displayed and loved him for him. For Eddie, she's the only person that saw him for who he was so then to have her not only permanently taken from him but the fact that there was nothing he could do to save her or bring her back? It stayed with him.

When he meets the reader, she has a lot of her qualities which triggers something in him. He spent YEARS after her death thinking no one would ever love him the way she did. She probably knew things about him that even Steve didn't. So the fact that someone like that is in front of him again not only excites him but scares him.

Of course, one reason being this arrangement isn't permanent. After 3 weeks or 3 murders they're supposed to disappear until the next person summons them and again there's nothing he can do about it. Two, he feels guilty. I mean he loved Chrissy...he can't love someone else? But he can...thats why her dad said what he said.

I genuinely believe if she was exactly like Chrissy he would be meaner to her. He doesn't want another Chrissy. The princess was special to him for a reason.

When my person passed, I always felt so guilty when I met someone or did something that made me happy the way he did to the point where I was a very snippy angry human who became severely depressed. The first time I met someone that reminded me of him I kept bringing him up because it had been so long since I talked about him or felt this way.

"We used to do this together." Or "He would say that all the time!"

For a long time, it added to the guilt because I felt kinda like what you were describing. "Oh my god they probably think Im only around them because they remind of him." I would apologize constantly like "I swear no I like you for you."

Someone had to sit me down and be like "Kathryn! Its ok. It's ok to feel what you're feeling."

Once I felt like I could be more open, I didn't feel the need to keep bringing up things like that constantly. I didn't feel like...he was going to be forgotten and I was replacing him if I stopped talking about him.

So yeah...that's how I write for Eddie's grief. Honestly, this is the only chapter you're going to get the bulk of that breakdown of his history lol I wanted her to get to know more about them and how they came to be here. Like Steve says Eddie is the big bulk of the reason he is where he is so both stories connect.

I hope what I've said here doesn't cause offense. Again, its from my point of view and I wanted to answer you honestly. I genuinely didn't think this chapter could be perceived in such away so it helps me to hear you but yeah.

You have to remember. Its chapters online. Not a whole book. I can't flush out a whole arc with smut in like 4 chapters lol Obviously if you read the above lol

[queermarzipan]

[Image ID:

The first image is a screenshot of a quote tweet. It responds to a tweet reading "Why is this generation so comfortable disrespecting God? Aren't you scared ???". The response reads, "So you agree? Christianity is reinforced through fear instead of faith?" and is accompanied by with the meme screencap of Regina George leaning over the table with a predatory smile.

The second image is a screenshot of tumblr tags. They read:

#i was raised catholic but am not anymore #and when i asked one if my baptist friends in college why i should fear god #she told me that it was how you love #and she didnt see anytging wring with that #she said you fear your parents right? #andime my parents arent perfect and weve had our share of issues but ive never feared them #and she thought I WAS the crazy one for thinking that i shouldnt be afraid of the entity that supposedly created us #so many christians especially the very right wing ones tie fear with love #thats why you see them in unhappy and unbalanced marriages too #because the woman has toove the man but love here is synonymous with fear #cause to them the man is higher up than the woman #so when you take that away as with lil nas x did in his new mv #they dont know what to do and cant keep you in line because those tactics no longer work #you realize that love is NOT fear and lil nas x took his power back and made love to be joyous and sexy #i had a thought process but im running out of time before work so please excuse my rambling

/End ID]

@evilkitten3 i NEED to preserve your tags:

#i'm jewish and was raised in a secular household and didn't have much religious thoughts at all until adulthood #but like. my belief is this: if there is a g-d - no clue if there is; probably we aren't supposed to know - i don't need to fear them #how g-d loves me is up to g-d. but i don't believe that love is something i should be afraid of or try to control #any deity existing on the scale typically presented in monotheistic religions would realistically be borderline incomprehensible to humans #little kids can barely understand how five minutes isn't a long time to adults. how am i meant to understand eternity? #there's no way to find out anything for sure until you die and there's no guarantee you'll find out anything even after that #so i don't think it's important to try and please g-d or even to try and understand what g-d is and what that means #i think what really matters is doing what you believe is right and making the most out of the time you're given #anyway my point is that i've never understood when xtians say they fear the deity they worship #why? why do you need to be afraid of him? if you believe he loves you why do you also believe it when people say he wants to hurt you? #why would you WANT to believe that?

sooo uh. yeah this is extremely. this is very real. i still sing at my local church bc it's a good time even though i lost my faith and. the phrase "fear the lord" comes up in the more traditional hymns a LOT. and it's always a positive. it is literally a synonym for "love" or "know" or "embrace".

i remember being taken aback as a young catholic and asking my mom what word was SUPPOSED to be there bc they clearly made a mistake (bc why would you fear the lord?? if the lord is good??) and the response was half "oh fear meant something different back then" and half "being afraid of him is natural when you believe in him because he is so powerful".

like. i grimaced all the way through that psalm. i still sing it sometimes. but yea the conflation of fear and love in christianity is VERY real and VERY present and literally baked into the scripture. i Do Not understand it

Christians hate when a gay man goes “fuck it, I’ll gladly go to Hell if you want me to so bad” because it takes the edge away from their tools of fear. If they can’t scare you with threats of eternal damnation then one of their main weapons is taken away.

[myunghology]

hihihihihihih i saw that your requests are open!!! Is it fine if I request hcs with Shinobu and Aira being too scared to talk to their crush? But the reader is confused why they wont talk to them so they just end up being more affection to them.

(Im exactly like this. EUAGHEHSB can you also make the reader g/n please?)

TELL ME CAN YOU FEEL IT? MY HEART IS BEATING FAST!

summary — shinobu, aira and tsukasa being too scared to talk to their crush! read full req for summary.. hehe

pairings — shinobu sengoku, aira shiratori, and tsukasa suou x gender neutral reader (seperate!)

tw — NONE...?? i think

a/n — i know you didn't add tsukasa but.. u mentioned he was in your top 3 and im guessing this IS your top 3 so i decided to add him as well! also im like this too LMFAOO

— s. shinobu

Tries to avoid you the best way he can— literally will use anything in his power, but just because it'll be painfully obvious that he likes you whenever you're around! Can you tell though?.. By the way he's avoiding you..

Shinobu gets SO blushy whenever you just start clinging onto him even more, and he finds himself stuttering around you even more than usual.

His attempts to have avoid you? Failed. He's a goner. You're the one making moves first? Bye, he's deceased.

Slowly but surely gets used to your affection, even if you two are just friends.. For now.

And you were super confused when he was avoiding you since you two were practically inseparable; until someone deducts that he may have a crush on you, and then he suddenly gets scared of talking to you.

You were super sad those following days TT. So the only way to suppress it? Just cling onto him even more, yes! That's such a good idea.

He's malfunctioning every. Single. Time. You are near him or even touch him in any way, he notices you try to seek out for him more too, he can't tell if he should be thankful or worried if somethings wrong.

Why not both?

To be completely fair, I don't think he's complaining that much anyway. Eventually stops avoiding you and gets rid of his fear— Now no one can tell if you two are dating or just friends.

SIBLINGS OR DATINF???????? ok bye sorry

Everyone around you ships the both of you together, I mean.. Who wouldn't? No ones really complaining anyway.

Although for Shinobu, he'll probably say something quickly like "We're not dating!" A few couple times until he's noticed that you aren't denying it, and so he stops.

Anyone who has his very not so secret private account on Twitter, and sees his rambles about you is most definitely going to give them a little giggle at how smitten he is when it comes to you.

Whenever you're not around or when he was still scared of talking to you, bro was literally yapping about you to EVERYONE.

Not anything personal tho, of course not! It's just, he sees you through a rose-colored piece of lens. That's how perfect you are to him. I think everyone thinks that way about you, though!

— s. aira

In Aira's case, I think you two didn't even know each other before he started liking you. Listen, he'd probably be your classmate of some sort, and he just stares and admires you while you look and act all prettily.

He wishes he could approach you somehow, but he's waaaay too scared. What if he makes the wrong first impression? What if he blurts out something he isn't supposed to say?

You'd notice or say hi, or even help him sometimes when he doesn't know the answer to something, which makes him fall even HARDER since you two don't even know each other that much and you're helping him already!

You're just such a sweetheart.. Aren't you? Don't deny it! (≧∇≦)b.

Totally has a secret private playlist that is filled with songs that remind him of you as well.

He's the type of person who you'd talk to more online than in real life. At least online he can more so control his responses than risk spilling that he likes you in real life! He'd be too distracted looking at you anyway.

The Gods gave him an answer. You both were paired up with each other for a school project. Should he say thank you or panic? Whichever one works.

This is the time he realizes he needs to talk to you. Not just for grades, but for an opportunity to get to know you more openly and not stalking you through your socmed! (^o^)

You think this would be easy become you two have talked to each other online before! While he's just internally panicking at home when you message him what you should do for the said project.

The next day, you're already comfortable with him! He'd still be a bit shy, but he's warming up to you little by little. Ignoring all the obvious signs that he has a crush on you..

Slowly but surely, you start catching feelings too. Solution? Be more affectionate to get his attention. You start spending time with him after you guys submit the project, which makes him jump on his bed from happiness, probably.

You start spending more time together just because of some silly little project.. He is still dying (In a good way!) From all the affection you are giving him.. Let him slide this once!

s. tsukasa

Loser activities. LITERALLY stalks you so much and raves in the Knights groupchat it's actually so sickening. It's true I asked them myself..

But let's be real for a second, I think he would actually BE scared to approach his crush, read: you. Meanwhile he does try to make some moves, keyword: tries. He always ends up shaking in his place whenever you are in his sights.

Knights give him lots and lots of support!! Actually, they are all his wing(wo)men. Especially Arashi, since she IS probably the closest to you.

All of your conversations with Knights members somehow end up talking about Tsukasa. Like.. What do you mean you and Izumi were talking about how bad the idol industry is and then he started talking about the red haired knight?

"Yeah.. The industry sucks these days. Anyway, what's your opinion on the first year of our group?" ".. Excuse me?"

Everyone is just sick and tired of him talking about you, and would do anything at this point for you to notice him.

Once you DO start noticing him though, these three are all very alike. They start panicking in the inside and start planning your wedding in his mind.

The type of person to scream in his pillow when he gets home himself from walking YOU home, he's finally making moves guys we are so proud..

Also the type to send love letters on a daily, and trust me, it's not that hard to find out it's him due to his really neat and beautiful hand writing. You're too nice to ever bring it up though.

Leo definitely almost blurted out Tsukasa's crush on you. What you didn't expect of yourself was to blush at what he said. Oh and that blush didn't come unnoticed by Tsukasa who was covering his hand on his leader's mouth.

"Guys.. What if they like me back.." "IT'S 2AM GET YOUR ASS BACK TO SLEEP PLEASE I'M BEGGING" "ykw i hope they don't like you back atp"

Tries to act all gentlemanly saying, "[Name], please stop. We're in public. It's not too appropriate to hug me." while everyone around him scoffs knowing damn well be doesn't mean it.

For his sake, please stop! He is this close to just exploding right in your arms when you hug him. Please don't let go though..

Tries to distract himself saying he doesn't have time for relationships, but the demons in him are telling him to make a move or else he'll never know if you actually do like him back!

Those demons are definitely Knights. Sorry.

myunghology: your type is very obvious mootie. ALSO FUCK I HOPE THIS ISN'T TOO OOC

[sunnybimbo]

get to know the author

got tagged by mfin @grassepi like 10 days ago to do this!!!!!! /dab/

long ass post under the cut

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?

i explain this so often man its a trip. ‘jam’ came from simlish in the sims 3 because of that one voice line that’s like ‘jambabedo?’. i had changed my name to that on skype but when i was VCing with @namerine she could only see ‘jam’ and it kinda just stuck. speaking of: the ‘dingus’ part also came from her so literally this name is all because of her and i love her *fingerguns*

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos).

by FAR my most popular fic is my collection of sickfics: In Sickness and Health

the only thing that it got beat in was comments from Close to the Heart, but that’s mostly just because it had so many mfin chapters

3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

b a b y y o s h i

i literally cant remember how i found this picture or why i chose it as my icon but its my Brand now. yoshi jamthedingus is me

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?

i literally have so many. there’s @space-peachx, @bears-again, @narwhalsarefalling, @ravenssama, and @miishiiwrites (for some reason it wasnt letting me tag ur main asldhasd) plus a SHIT ton of anon commentors who i love just as dearly!!! i have a lot more but these are the most common commenters and i love them sm i could literally die.

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

there are like three fics like that and ofc im gonna list them all

hands down the fic i’ve reread the MOST in the shortest period of time is Sunset in Reverse by @demenior (who i cannot tag for some reason but i hope they know that i love their fic dearly)

there’s this i n c r e d i b l e sickfic by @bosstoaster that i just adore called Drown Out Your Mind that just breaks my heart all types of ways

and there’s this OTHER fic that also fucks me up called strength of the small by @nowweareunstoppable in which pidge is bad ass and also gets fucked up and i literally rec it to all my friends i love it so much

(also a special shoutout to been @velkynkarma‘s Whisper in the Dark. whenever i have the need for a good creepin’ out i LOVE to revisit this one because like... just the description of the Final Boss (tm) alone is enough to give me the willies)

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

oof

i have 449 bookmarks from like atleast 10 different fandoms, and about 411 fics i’m subscribed to, give or take a couple because Math. most of them are completed though, but i don’t go through and take them off because i’m a lazy hoe 

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

well i just looked up my ao3 and it says i have the most in ‘Alternate Universe - Video Game World’ asjdhsaldhsja aka my mmo au. but technically i think the au i write the most is Modern bc i’m but a simple farmer with a limited mindscape

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

i have 22 user subscriptions vs 199 work subscriptions + 383 bookmarks in total. nice nice nice

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

probably something with a more serious tone (compared to the fluffy wuffy fics i write) like, for example, fatphobia, suicide, and literally just conflict in general. i always feel like im trivializing all of it no matter how hard i try so i just... Give Up because i dont want the backlash ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

i really want to get better at writing conflicts, as stated above lajhdlsadhls. but also i want to be better at planning out stories because i usually give up near the 3/4ths point of literally every multi-chaptered thing i’ve written

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

definitely rarepairs. voltron is like the biggest fandom i’ve ever been in and my biggest ships are all hunk ships, and all of those are rarepairs OTL

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

35!

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

ignoring the fics i’ve completed and posted on ao3, i have about 52. including the above equals 87!!! m a t h

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

i try to write them down but if i write down the thingy i really want to focus on in the fic then i won’t want to write it anymore because it’s out of my head. OTL its a complicated process.

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

literally never in my life. 

16. How did you discover AO3?

definitely tumblr. i was in the dragon age fandom and there was this fic called The Little Kadan which had fem!inquisitor/iron bull + a baby so like i was all over that asap. i’m too shy to tag the author but u can find them on tumblr at sickly-writes ,,,,,,

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?

nah not at all. i’m pretty Niche

(i.e. if you love shunk and/or heith + cuddling, i’m your gal. but anything else is pretty rare OTL)

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

not in the SLIGHTEST. i call them all babes in my head bc i love them tho

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

i don’t know this @fenri personally but i love their writing so much. i admire their style a WHOLE TON and i think i may have sort of modeled my own after theirs? 

like i’m just thinking about it now but it’s definitely after i reread their fic (*ahem ahem* Like Crystal Guts) for about the fifth time that i started my whole ‘prose-y’ writing, which is very very recent aldjhsal

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

be confident in ur writing! if someone says they don’t like it, your work just isnt for them. just because one single person doesn’t like it doesn’t mean its bad!

r e r e a d what you wrote! i use fromtexttospeech.com to catch like... sentence structure/grammatical errors when my eyes are too tired and i find it helps a lot!

if you find a story you like, try figuring out w h y you like it so much. characterization? the way they describe things? because they use sentence structure you haven’t seen before? and then use that new knowledge to try to make your own writing style your favorite *fingerguns* 

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

i only started plotting fics since last november, which was when i participated in my first nanowrimo. i don’t plot for every single story, but if i’m lost or i want to expand a little, i slap down a bunch of ideas in an empty google doc and go from there! 

generally by then i’ve already written atleast a little bit, though.

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

i can’t even remember what it says exactly now since i deleted the fic after, but someone said my characterization was bad in a super old inuyasha fic. little like... 12 year old me was so sad ;w; 

i don’t think i’ve ever gotten a bad comment after that, though? which is NICE

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

DEFINITELY any action scene. i can’t make them long or drawn out or else i’ll just be struggling and sweating and generally craving death. i think i just need practice but o o o o f

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

i have a few hot n spicy prompts i need to finish that i probably won’t get to until next year salhdjsa

plus a few christmas presents! 

and also my pirate au, Wander, which only has maybe 2 chapters left before its complete!

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

*sweats loudly*

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

not in the slightest. generally, if i’m in a writing sprint or something, i’ll try to get over a 1000 for whatever it is, but that’s for the total and not for the session. 

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

definitely! even though i’m still shy, im a lot more open to constructive criticism (if it doesn’t come after my soul ;w;). I’m also getting better at being more descriptive, which is something i’ve always wanted! 

28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written?

i have two. don’t make me choose

the first is technically cheating because it’s part of a series, and the series is my favorite BUT I DIGRESS. The Witch and the Mage (which is... one of my less imaginative names) is an MMO AU in which shiro and hunk are in love and also i have a vague plot outlined somewhere in my drive that’s pretty wild if i do say so myself. i may never write it but its there and its my favorite and i love the imagery i used in it.

the SECOND is a heith cuddle fic, because that’s basically my brand as a writer. it’s called home and i wrote it when i was very tired and couldn’t get to sleep. i may have been craving human contact? who knows in this economy. even though i see a number of things i wish i could fix about it, it’s just very self-indulgent in more than one way and its very dear to my heart. 

29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written?

most of the fics i wrote earlier on are pretty bad imo, but i think the ones i hate the most are part of my You Are Beautiful series. it’s grossly out of character (mostly in keith’s case) but it was the first thing i’d written in about four years and i was so proud of it. so it has to stay up for posterity, tbh.

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

i really hope to still be writing by then. maybe with my own personal book in its planning stages atleast???  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) gotta be optimistic!!

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

dialogue? also describing rooms. i love just... randomly popping out something that describes the placement of a couch in relation to a door. 

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

i always always always get distracted when i’m trying to write. if i’m in the zone, someone in my family is definitely gonna try to get my attention. it’s sort of become habit for me to just interrupt myself first so that i won’t lose whatever train of thought i had LMAO

33. Why do you write?

i like the way my words sound when i string them together in the right (write... *badum ts*) way. it makes me Feel Good (tm). 

also i love giving characters (that mean something to me) attention, because it’s like i’m giving MYSELF attention. a two-for-one!

Tagging:

@sleepyhunk, @narwhalsarefalling, @space-peachx, @sammythemattressthief, @bears-again, @kurosakiami01, @maternalcube, @ace-pidge, @darlingmuses

+  if anyone i tagged earlier would like to, i would literally be honored if you would do this! but no pressure, ever <3

[definitelynotcesia]

Baby

you thought of calling your best friend, choi beomgyu, after waking up from a nightmare. what could go wrong? probably everything.

pairing: choi beomgyu x reader

genre: fluff

word count: 918

warning: tiny bit of suspense and cursing

"im surprised to know you're still alive". these are the first words of the man on the other line as soon as he picked up the phone. you noticed the coarseness in his voice, probably from working too much.

"i don't even get a 'hello' at least?" you asked him back.

"coming from someone who didn't even bother to reply to any of my texts for the past two days?" he replied emphasizing the last part.

"then you could've greeted me with an 'i miss you'?" you replied teasingly.

"im tired, y/n. one more and i will not hesitate to block your dumbass. i swear to the white lady standing behind you" he replied.

"h-hey!" you said running as fast as you could to your bed.

yes, you just woke up from a creepy nightmare yet again. when you can't get yourself to go back to sleep, you decided to call your best friend, beomgyu, thinking he'd entertain you with his nonsense for a while. but it's starting to seem like this is the worst idea.

"hey what's happening?" he asked when he heard weird shuffling noises from the other line. "are you strangling the white lady right now?" he asked jokingly.

"ITS NOT FUNNY!" you yelled feigning a tough font.

though he got surprised, beomgyu quickly realized what's going on. you, being the scaredy cat that you are, are probably bundled up on your own bed right now believing that there's actually a white lady in the room. the thought of your tiny face peaking through the comforter, eyes frantically moving around, made him laugh.

"what? do you want me to come over?" he asked while still laughing.

"no thank you" you quickly replied sensing that he'll tease you to death if you say yes.

"alright, its up to you though. all im saying is—"

"i fucking hate you!" you yelled cutting him off before he could say anything more to creep you out. you pressed the red button on the screen to end the call and proceed to hide under your huge comforter.

"you just watch beomgyu, i'll fucking send you back to hell—"

you were cut off when you heard rustling somewhere on your far right. you swear your heart almost jumped out. you ran about a hundred possible reasons on your mind to explain the sound but the only thing that's stuck on your mind is the face of the creepy smiling lady you saw on your dream.

maybe because you yelled a bad word, or you said the word hell, that you summoned these dark forces? you're aware of how childish that sounded but being rational is the last thing you can do when you're completely alone in your pitch black unit.

it took you few seconds to realize that the rustling you heard is still going on, and it's in fact, a scratching sound. like nails grinding on glass. its getting louder and faster by the minute. you felt your body tense, your heart beating very loud. then, a shiver ran through your spine at the exact same moment the scratching stopped. what the actual fuck.

moments later, you felt the ends of your bed sunk. as if something— someone just sat. it cant be beomgyu because you sure locked the front door, and there's no other way for him to sneak in to scare you.

"OH GOD!" you cried in surprise when you felt your phone vibrate under one of your pillows.

its a text from beomgyu.

open up, im outside.

reading the message gave you the courage to run as fast as you can towards the front door. you even fumbled through the extra lock because your hands are too shaky.

"i was—" you hugged him as soon as you open the door leaving him utterly shocked.

beomgyu noticed how cold your skin felt and that you are slightly shaking. although he is still confused, he hugged you back as well. to which you were thankful because your knees would've given up from that point as it is trembling too much.

"shhh, it's okay. im already here. it's okay, you're safe now" he whispered while gently caressing your back. hearing his words triggered all the pent up fear you had earlier which made you breakdown on his chest. "it's okay, baby. im already here." he continued to whisper comforting words to you.

"i was so scared" you said in between your sniffles.

"i know. im sorry i scared you. im sorry, baby"

you stood there hugging for almost ten minutes before he gently ushered you inside the house. you are still crying and trembling as he settled you in the couch. he quickly got your comforter from your room and prepped the couch.

"move closer to me please" he guided your upper body to a cuddling position. after you both got settled, he continued to stroke your back using his free hand. "go back to sleep now, baby" he said in the most reassuring voice.

it may be weird to admit but having his arms around you felt very secure and warm, the kind that makes you want to stay there forever. you feel safe with his hands gently drawing circles at the small of your back and the sound of his voice whispering words of comfort. you were pretty sure you heard him call you baby since earlier but you couldn't care less. right at this moment, you just felt home in the arms of your best friend.

— end.

cesia's masterlist.

[icarusredwings]

A review of Puppys pen By Panties on boys

Ive done a previous reviews on

Nasty Dog and Domesticated Wolverine and was heavily impressed so here we go.

Firstly I would like to mention that good gravy. 8 THOUSAND words!?? For a one shot? Holy hell. Props.

"Wade squints in the dark, against the yellow halo that hugs his ankle, as he steps through it." I dont know what this part means but I want to assume it means the Tva door thing for when hes traveling and hes just now stepping into a new dimention.

"Are you there god?" No. Not at all.

Ooohh fangy wolvie!

"What time is your dick appointment sir?"

I love the little note of. "That would be dyscalculia" like uhm actually you little shit- Numbers is dyscalculia and you're aboutta get your ass smashed so its not like that matters

"Sorry daddy" As if you didn't just meet this man 2 seconds ago. But same-

"You're late. Thats rude"

Wade: *dies of horny*

Awww! When it says he was vibrating on the floor like that it makes me think of a really excited puppy with his tail going crazy.

Oh my god. We got a collar. Repeat we got a NICE collar at that.

I like how you describe things but in my brain I can physically see him tripping and struggling to get up so quickly.

I didnt read the tags (why would I, I trust this author not to do anything too uncomfy) but if he dosn't get a tail plug im gonna be a bit disappointed.

Puppy play has to be one of wades absolute favorite things by the way. Do you KNOW how many military brats are pups??? Do you see is ex wife over here?? She definitely was making this man bark.

GUYS! WE GOT COMFORT SMUT

“I don’t want to kill the mood.” Wade replies. “I’m not as pretty as you.” Shut the fuck up right now.

"slowly, so slowly, so Wade can stop him if he has to. “I know who you are, idiot. And what you look like.” AYO!? Does this imply that in this universe Logan gets to be dommy toppy to all his lovers and wade is a usual playmate?

Oh my gooooddd

"horrifying thought, I feel like I belong here.

He should probably run." AAKDNSIDJS And literally as a man who has felt like he never belonged anywhere !?? And he ussually does end up running from people who are kind to him? Jesus christ guys.

Chat are you seeing this shit?

Not only does he know him already, hes kind to him, respectful, and LITERALLY says "my clients dont get to touch me" and then INSTANTLY kisses him and tells him BY NAME that he can touch him.

Im going to explode if we find out that theyre actually together in this universe.

“Realized where you are, huh? Who you’re with, huh, baby?” youre gonna kill me.

"Scared sweetheart?" im dead.

HAS HE HAD HIS RABIES SHOTS? Im deceased.

No because wade starting to ramble absolute nonsense while waiting for Logan to stab him in the guts is so accurate. Bro is like "treat me like a half priced vaccume and let me suck it up!"

And logans just sitting here like ???

TEHEEHEHE the flirting is insane

Oh nooo.. i know those indications. The instant familiarity, the testing, the teasing. It's as if Logan had lost his deadpool. Lost his favorite chew toy and now that he got it back he misses him so much. Between knowing exactly what he likes, knowing precisely where to kiss, telling him he knows him, telling him about his pretty eyes, talking to him as if he knows him on a deep personal level... im gonna cry.

Im sitting here talking about how encouraging Logan is to Wade but wade is laying here with multiple injuries telling Logan to keep going. Telling him to bite him. Telling him that its okay to hurt him because hes into it. Telling Logan that hes allowed to LET GO. To go absolutly nuts.

Nooo because its so sad and cute when he gets up and just.. leaves him there. The way I KNOW wades brain instantly went to "oh no he dosn't like me anymore. I messed up" as hes naked as hell, bleeding everywhere as he sits there.. alone. Only to immediately be told theyre going somewhere else.

"Stop humping me" is top tier comment.

HOLY SHIT HE TOOK HIM HOME.

Like.. HOME home. 🥹

Aww what a good boy. Sitting there like that. "Good mutts get rewards" im seriously going to start deteriorating.

GUYS 😭

Wade: I get wolvie dick so this is heaven

Logan: say something nice about yourself

Wade: Chat im in hell actually. Satan himself was tricking me.

"Be a good boy. Don’t you want to?” and he just CANT say it oh my lanta

"He hears them before he registers that he’s the one saying them, and then his lips drop open wider. Who the fuck just said that?" Its your head room mates <3 dont worry they just want you to be a good boy for mr. Wolvie here.

Oh man the biting. These are love bites. These are not agressive biting this is territorial. This is claiming. This is... god its BEAUTIFUL is what this is.

The way he encourages him. The way Logan tells him that he wishes he could mark him. The way Wade keeps going limp knowing damn well if he squirms then logans prey drive will absolutly destroy him.

"He fucks Wade’s own blood into him as lube." Ofc. Ofc.

Hes litterly fucking him so hard that hes crying and wade is having the best day of his life.

Daddy kink logan>>>

"They sit there for a few more moments before Logan asks, voice rough, tired, spent, but amused, “You dead?”

“Yeah.” Wade answers.

“Shit.” Logan huffs a laugh."

Me fr. My wife asks if im dead sometimes and ill tell her yeah and she'll be like "damn. R.i.p."

AAahh and he brings him home!? Its decided. He brought him home to Al and poor Al suffered the consequences for ever.

This entire fic is just "Wade goes shopping for the wolverine with the biggest dick and heart" and found him.

Im not kidding this was SOOO fucking sweet. Would love to read what happens next and perhaps if wade DOES try to get away from him, a bit of primal play and physically hunting down your boyfriend never hurt anyone.

Im genuinely very happy after reading this, my heart is full my chest is warm, My head is full of things it wasn't about 20 minutes ago. And now if you don't mind Im gonna go take a nap.

Solid 10/10. Thank you Kensy.

Anyway @bougiebutchbinch will love this.

Puppy’s Pen

[Deadpool’s voiceover]: You’d think that finding a new Anchor Being would be easy.

I mean, big dog should be effectively immortal, no…? And yet one is dead, one is Henry Cavill—sadly uninterested—and one’s shorter than Woody Allen… on second consideration, I might go back for him, actually. He was cute. Besides, he held quite the fucking candle to the Logan variant that was crucified on a giant, unforgiving X, which was erected on a mountain of human fucking skulls, so. You know. There’s that thing that I witnessed today.

Fact is, it’s been hard.

This whole multiverse idea, it’s honestly just really confusing. The author doesn’t get it, I don’t get it… Do you get it? If you do, hold onto your fucking socks, because I’m about to shatter your entire understanding. Open your mind, okay? This fic is not for prudes, mind the tags.

[bibblelevi]

I just wanted to say that as someone in their mid- 20s, I find it absolutely insane that you're only 18.

Your ability to write is UNREAL. Like... your writing is so fucking impressive. Every time I read something of yours I always think about how your skill is miles ahead of my own, and it blows me away in the best way!!!

You're so good already, I can't even fathom what your writing will be like when you're my age. I'm so grateful that I found your works. The fact I and so many others have the privilege of reading your pieces for fee is crazy to me lol.

HEIDJDJEJD BRO THIS SCARED ME FOR A SECOND 😭😭 all i saw was the first paragraph and i thought i was about to be criticized for my age but you immediately soothed me. WOW. this is seriously incredibly sweet of you, and i am beyond flattered. i wish i could just reach through the screen and makeout with you. just, thank YOU!!! IM LITERALLY LIKE IDK HOW TO ACT RIGHT NOW because i feel like this is the equivalent to being knighted🧎🏼‍♀️

honestly, there are so many amazing writers on this site who are constantly inspiring me and pushing me to just do what i enjoy. cheri @lacheri soph @astridthevalkyrie sorcha @deludedimagines mica @icecreamranwich m @uppermocns were some of my first moots on this site who constantly blow me away with their big brains and prose. @miekasa and captain degenerate and wellitcouldbeworse3 on AO3, tanny @writertitan i’m constantly screaming over.

more recent moots and friends like ley @leyyvi and liv @heich0e who were both AO3 writers i obsessed over and i just think it’s so cool that we’re constantly interacting now and reading each other’s stuff.

so many more writers too, like ben @sakurashell who’s work i’m chowing down, and ada @adalz L @mrsackermanx june @whats-her-quirk mel @titan-fodder ash @besotted-eros marquie @mindninjax whose works are fucking special and full of love for what they’re writing.

this probably makes absolutely no fucking sense, but you know how in greek mythology the universe was created first, then the universe created the titans, who eventually bore the gods, and the gods were the grandchildren of the universe. i feel like a grandchild, and all these writers are the titans, and the universe is the medium where i found them.

but basically my point is that i feel like these people actually made me out of clay, hence why i want to credit them all. i’m sure there are so many people i’m forgetting.

it cannot be overstated that everyone on this site and AO3 have their own style of writing, and sometimes just by reading work, i can tell exactly whose it is. that’s so special to me. it’s my favorite thing about writing, and my favorite thing about everyone who writes. i aspire to establish the same maturity a lot of these folks have in their writing.

[honeybunnybeez]

Hugging you close but it still feels too far

♡Genre:Fluff with angst at the end

♡C!Schlatt x GN!reader

♡Format:Fanfiction

♡Summary: Schlatt feels a headache coming on but thankfully you've come at just the right time to help it go away. Unfortunately, a different kind of ache rears its ugly head.

♡WARNING: Self-loathing thoughts on Schlatt's part.

"Are you fucking serious right now?" Everyone in the meeting room flinches as Schlatt spits out those words. His glare forces everyone in the room to look down at their laps, not daring to make a single peep as the president starts to slowly lose his temper.

This whole meeting has been quite a mess, with employees coming late and important documents being misplaced and forgotten. Honestly, Schlatt's usually drunk off his rockers 24/7 and yet he's surprisingly the most prepared for this meeting compared to the rest of his staff.

"Y'know what, fuck it, we'll continue this another day, this isn't important right?" It kinda was important but everyone in the meeting room nods along anyway and says that moving it to tomorrow won't exactly make much of a difference. "Good, good, now get the fuck out, all of you, right now."

They don't waste a single second in scrambling to get out of the meeting room and out of Schlatt's sight, fearing the consequences if they were to stay.

Schlatt sighs and leans back into his chair, massaging his temple. He feels a headache coming on, he needs a drink.

"Why is it that everytime I come to visit you at work your employee's always look like they're on the verge of passing out from fright?" Oh, nevermind, maybe he won't need that drink after all, it seems that someone better just popped in.

"Well hello to you too, sugar," Schaltt pushes his chair away from the desk, looking up at you with a giant grin. "Lock the door behind you, will you?"

(Read more placed, heavy self-loathing thoughts under the cut.)

You roll your eyes but do as your told, the door clicks shut and Schlatt lets out a sigh, opening his arms out wide.

"...Really? Here?" You can't help but be a little suprised by his action, knowing how he likes to keep the 'mushy shit' on the down low.

"I have a reputation to uphold, sugar," you remember him saying to you countless of times whenever you tried to get physically closer to him in public, "and I can't let that be ruined by all of this soft and sweet bullshit, understand?"

"Are you sure?" You feel like you're being fooled right now, this feels very out of character for him, and truthfully it is, even he feels weird doing this, but a part of him is aching for you and all he can think of is having you by his side.

"...Please..." ugh, you hate and love it when he used his manners, it always made you give into what he wanted way quicker than you should. Deciding that second guessing won't do anything you give him what he wants, sitting on his lap and letting him gently headbutt your cheek and under your chin.

"Do the thing I like," he demands, resting his head on your chest. When you don't move quick enough for his liking, he takes matters into his own hands quite literally by grabbing your hand and placing it on top of his head. He lets out a satisfied groan when he feels you running your fingers through his hair, helping him soothe his headache with your gentle touches.

"I'm pretty sure if your employee's could see you now, they'd probably stop being so scared shitless of you knowing that you like to be pet," you can't help but tease him as you watch his face shift into one of absolute bliss as you kiss his temple and hold him closer to you.

"I will bite your jugular clean off if you tell a single soul about this, you hear me?" As if to prove a point, he presses a hard kiss to where your jugular should be, tickling you a little with his facial hair.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say Mister President."

After a while of your gentle carasses, he lets out a big yawn, his grip on your waist loosening and his eyes growing heavy as you continue to massage the top of his head carefully. He starts to ask himself when was the last time he properly cuddled with you back home in the safety of your shared bed, it's probably been ages.

'Maybe I should change that,' a distant part of him thinks.

'You keep saying that idiot, but literally nothing ever changes, if anything you keep getting WORSE.'

...Oh, fuck no. It's starting again, those stupid thoughts of his that whisper in the back of his head everytime he finally has a moment of silence with you. He just wants one day without them, one day of just letting you love him like you're supposed to, is that so much to fucking ask for?

'You keep asking for way to much, ever notice that?'

'They love you enough but do you ever show them that you love them back?'

'Fucking useless, it's only a matter of time before they start seeing you that way too.'

God, he wants them to shut up, please just shut the fuck up. Please-

"Hey," he jolts slightly when your voice shakes him out of his aggressive growing thoughts, "getting tired there, princess?"

He wants to argue with you that he isn't sleepy at all and to never call him princess again but as another yawn escapes him, he decides that maybe a nap isn't the worse thing in the world right now and that pet name argument could always be brought up another time. He doesn't verbally respond to you, choosing instead to nuzzle closer into your chest and shutting his eyes.

"Don't even think of leaving me alone here before I wake up, (y/n)," it's more of an order than a threatening warning with how sleepily he slurs his words. If you weren't practically on him at the moment, you swear that you wouldn't have been able to make out his mumbling demand.

"Of course I won't, you big baby." You struggle to stiffle a small laugh when you hear him groan and lazily hit your arm at the affectionate insult. "I'll always be here by your side for as long as you want me to."

He can never stop his heart from aching whenever he hears you say such sincere words like it's practically second nature to you. Why is every part of you so genuine and why does it hurt him much more than it should whenever you do anything remotely loving to him like he deserves it. Maybe that's why he doesn't always come home to you like he's supposed to.

'You don't fucking deserve any of this,' a sudden thought of his screams, causing his heart to jump. His fingers grip onto your shirt for a moment by instinct when he feels that thought linger longer than it should have.

"Hey, you okay-?"

"Fine!" He cuts you off quickly before you can properly finish your sentence. "I'm- I'm fine, it's just the usual shakes. Im going to sleep so kindly shut the fuck up, alright?"

He doesn't give you room to respond as he nuzzles even harder against your chest and goes back to closing his eyes. He tries to steady his thoughts again and after awhile he thinks he's finally succeeds in doing so. He can feel himself slowly starting to drift off but before he can do so, the light brush of lips can be felt on his temple. He knows what this usually leads to and he silently pleads for those words to not spill from your lips but of course they do, they always do.

"I love you."

Schlatt knows that any hope for a dreamless slumber is lost as his heart and head fills up with guilt like it always did when you held him back home, whispering sweet nothings to him thinking you were lulling him to sleep when instead you were only fueling the thoughts in his head to shout at him louder and louder.

He constantly scolds and reminds himself that all of this isn't worth it, that he should just end things with you now to stop the constant cycle of personal torment, but Schlatt's never been known for being a rational person who cares about the well being of others, and it seems that it translates to himself as well. Really, as angry as he wants to be with you for all the heartache you cause him, he knows that there's truly no one else to blame for his pain but himself.

A/N: Will I ever be able to write c!Schlatt content without making it sad? Apparently not- ^^' I just really love angst when it comes to him. Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed reading this!

(Requests are open and anon is on!)

[greenorangevioletgrass]

thots as i listen (perfectly timed as my bf left for a family thing this weekend and i can freely relive my past doomed relationship hahah):

fortnight: ahhh yes. the span of my 5-year relationship fizzling out on two different islands. bliss. what about your quiet treason??? sdkjfhksjdhf

ttpd: "you're not dylan thomas, im not patti smith / this ain't the chelsea hotel, we're modern idiots" is so real bc i WAS obsessed with patti smith and we did take ourselves (and our art, bleargh) too seriously)

my boy only breaks his favorite toys: ehehehe the "long story short" melodic parallel in the chorus. the way she plays it off like he's a fucking child, but "once i fix me, he's gonna miss me"??? FUCK OFF STOP READING MY LIFE STORY TAYLOR?? i started crying here bye

down bad: no bc the matty parralel with Z is INSANE. like how did i feel emptier than i thought i did? HOW DARE YOU THINK IT'S ROMANTIC LEAVING ME SAFE AND STRANDED? is a mood and a half.

so long london: THAT INTRO! AAAAHHH! can't say no to some good vocal layers. this is giving very early days lana del rey? trust in aaron dessner for tracks like these. and that bridge?? fuck me.

but daddy i love him: country vibes! the chorus feels like a mouthful, though? bahahahahah "i'm having his baby / no i'm not but you should've seen your faces" again, the bridge is bridging!

fresh out the slammer: oop i hear a hint of "long live"? the friends seeing the red flags way before she did 🤡 whoa, the OUTRO??? we're winding down! BUT ITS GONNA BE ALRIGHT, I DID MY TIME 🥺

florida!!!: the three exclamation marks is called for, that's for sure!!! oh my god, this is probably my favorite track so far.

guilty as sin?: im loving the use of intros and outros here in this album. this is beautiful, but i also feel like throwing up thinking the long, stretched-out tension z and i had before we finally hooked up? "am i allowed to cry" for this song is sooo perfect.

who's afraid of little old me: this is very much giving lana del rey's early stuff?? i love this. i was a MESS here considering all the shitstorm i went through in that island and coming back from it. "you caged me and then you called me crazy" ha!

i can fix him: pls more bluegrassy, americana shit like this 🙏🙏 also stopppp bc this is exactly the kind of music D plays and i was convinced i can fix him lmaoooo

loml: "still alive, killing time at the cemetery / never quite buried" AND THE REAL KICKER IS I SPENT THAT WHOLE FIRST WEEK IN A BURIAL GROUND AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH 😭😭

i can do it with a broken heart: THE MASTERMIND LOOP PARALLEL!!!!! what in the jack antonoff??? deffo an addition to the tour setlist im willing to bet my left NUT

the smallest man who ever lived: i just know it's aaron dessner producing right away lol. bruh she went for the THROAT here. (also it's a running joke now that D is short af lmao) THE THIRD VERSE??? it feels like going off on a tangent, but maybe that's the point?

the alchemy: fuck yeaaah! it's giving slow-motion, big moment ending of a movie scene. maybe a hint of "suburban legends"? god i can't wait to see this song performed live!

clara bow: the childlike optimism here... i'm bawling my eyes out.

the black dog: ...no words. im just crying. i remember this all to well hah.

imgonnagetyouback: heh "gold rush" parallel. this one makes me smile. reminds me of long aimless drives and tumbling into our hotel bed, not knowing what we are.

the albatross: im humming "ivy" as i listen lol. holy fuck dude, side B is slowly segueing into my current relationship--or the start of it 😬 mom pick me up im scared

chloe or sam or sophia or marcus: nope we're back to D hahahah. MAROON REFERENCE!!

how did it end: this is the face i made throughout this song 🙂🙂🙂 this is fine i'm fine

so high school: i'm surprised aaron took this on, but then again i shouldn't presume? OH WAIT yeah i get it. another happy song! ahhh! GET MY CAR DOOR SDKJFHSKDJHF i never touched a single car door when im with my bf this past year and a half lmao. it's giving "long live" and im mad cheesin!

i hate it here: ohhh it's giving laura marling! I CAN RELATE!!!

thanK you aIMee: holy shit, it just dawned on me... did i have a reputation era late 2022?? but anyway. i like this! this one is for the girlies healing ✌

i look in people's windows: guys im so INSPIRED right now i need to pick up my pen and paper after this. it's giving "death by a thousand cuts" ish??

the prophecy: toit chorus??? love. im generally loving the B-side tracks more now that i think about it...

cassandra: this is too fucking close imma throw up bye

peter: 3/4 time is always soooo dreamy ✨ and so heartbreaking! it's giving a mellowed out, more contemplative "i bet you think about me".

the bolter: again, very lana!! off to the races! good vibes.

robin: this felt like a hug 🥺🥺 im crying but what's new.

the manuscript: i am sobbing. this is the perfect closing track. "now and then i reread the manuscript / but the story isn't mine anymore" taylor you genius and i thank you for this.

regardless of who ttpd is about, im gonna listen to it for the first time as a girl who was in a delulu-ridden relationship for nearly 5 years and then had an epic breakup at a big step of my career, then fucked around with a questionable rebound guy, before finally finding myself a kind and beautiful man who i love and loves me and treats me the way i deserve to be treated 🫶

[hollowedwing]

Isekai-ed into Hawk's Life

Hawks x gn!winged!Reader

Warnings: ⚠️ Death!(at very beginning, it is an isekai), mentions of death throughout, some angst(??maybe not yet??), slight cursing

THIS WILL NOT FOLLOW A SPECIFIC TIMELINE IN THE MANGA

(so sorry i just, love, love, the idea of having wings)

(this is all my art, it is on IG, im just too embarrassed for people who know me irl to potentially find this xD Even though none of them have tumblr 👀 if you somehow recognize it...props to you?)

_________________________________

tbh, I can’t decide if I want this to have more than 1 part. 

Word count: ~1,800

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You were on your way home from a long evening at your part time job. Before that you had already taken 2 finals that morning too.

You dragged your feet, exhausted, as you headed towards the crosswalk. Stopping at the edge as the traffic light turned green, you decided to pull out your phone and decided to watch a speed paint from your favorite artist who recently released a new video.

It just so happened it was a Hawks speed paint 👀

The light turned red and you slipped your phone into your pocket as your started to make your way across the street

little did you know this would be the last time you'd cross the street

A wild driver came barreling down the road, no regards for civilians or traffic lights, probably drunk or high or just someone out for blood.

You stood there like a deer caught in headlights as your life flashes before your eyes

You can barely comprehend what's happening as you felt pain engulf your body and suddenly you were unconscious

________________________________________

Keigo tiredly stumbled into his large apartment, kicking off his shoes and shrugging his jacket off by the door

He wants nothing more than to just flop down and pass out. The HPSC has been giving him hell lately about god knows what.

He let out a long sigh and headed towards the bathroom to do his nightly routine

As he finishes up, he drags his feet towards his bed and flops down face first into the comfort of his pillow and sheets

Keigo falls asleep almost instantly after getting into a comfortable position, worn out from a long day of work

What he wasn't expecting was a loud "thud!" coming from the main room. He jolts up from his bed, feathers ready to attack.

*******

Reader's pov(?)

*******

You groaned as you hit the floor. Your head was spinning and it feels like a truck just hit you

oh wait...

You suddenly became more alert, looking around in a panic, expecting to either be on the road and injured or in a hospital of sorts. What you didn't expect was a wooden floor inside of a random apartment.

You felt around your body for any signs of injury, but all you found were a set of wings on your back- wings?? Hold up. Why did you feel wings what kind of sick joke was this?

Your thoughts were racing as your breathing picked up. What was happening? Didn't you just get hit by a vehicle? Why are there wings in your back? Where are you even?

Feeling around in your pockets, you found your phone and whipped it out, trying for anything. You turned it on, the harsh light of it illuminating your face, you tried to send a text to your best friend, but alas, it wouldn't go through. Actually nothing on your phone seemed to work. You checked your location settings, for some reason it said Musutafu, Japan.

Wasn't....Wasn't that the location that most of Boku no Hero Academia took place?? This can't be right, this has to be a dream right? There's no way that you could have actually ended up here unless...

Then it hit you.

You read your fair share of isekai series back when you were alive in your realm. Mostly manhwas of characters getting reborn into another person's body, but, never actually reincarnating as yourself into another world.

That was the only thing you could think of. You must have been reincarnated into the Boku no Hero Academia world. Except as yourself.

In all honesty, this is not how you thought you'd go out. You didn't know what to expect after death, but this definitely wasn't it. After all, this was a fictional setting, wasn't it?

Well, not anymore because now you're living in it! Smh.

That would also probably explain the wings on your back. This was you now. You have a bird quirk.

Now, all you have to do, is figure out where the heck you are.

Just as you are about to stand up, feathers zip towards you, pinning you to the ground

You hear footsteps begin to come towards you. You don't know if you should be scared for your life considering you've already died once or ecstatic because, you knew for a fact, this could be none other than Hawks' apartment.

The winged hero finally emerges and stares down at you, crossing his arms over his chest.

He says in a low, gravely voice from sleep, "Who are you, and how did you get into my home?" You stare back up at him and nervously chuckle.

"I'm not sure you'd believe me if I told you." You nervously sigh out.

"Try me." He demands, sounding a little more irritated now. You sigh in defeat and start to explain your situation.

"Do...do you know what an isekai is?" You said sheepishly while turning your gaze away from his. He kind of gave you a confused head tilt and just a vibe that said “No”. You sigh again and explain it to the best of your ability. Hawks becomes more and more interested and confused as you talk, but nods a long slowly. 

“So...you were reborn here, but as yourself? Wait- does that mean you died before!?” He asked, disbelief and fear ran through his eyes. You looked at him in bitter amusement.

“Apparently I did. The last thing I remember of my world was getting hit by some truck or car. The dude clearly did not know how to drive. I had the right of way I was pretty sure at least. I mean, the light was red, usually that means pedestrians can cross the street? And plus he was going wayyy over the speed limit,” you begin to ramble on, the reality of actually dying setting into you. Hawks noticed the panic beginning to set into you and released you from his feathers. He crouched down next to you and grabbed your shoulders gently.

"Hey, hey, hey, look at me, you're ok now, right? You're here, and not dying in the middle of the street still. You're here. In Musutafu," he said trying to calm you back to reality. Well, what was your new reality. Your mind was racing. Trying to put together a coherent thought. 

You look up to him, with a panicked look still in your eyes, thoughts started to come out of your mouth as your brain was trying to catch up with the situation. "I'm... I'm in Boku no Hero Academia and, and you’re Keigo... standing... right in front of me..I have wings. I have wings? Jeezus I have fucking wings. And I’m dead in my own world. I don’t know anyone, well, wait, technically, I do know people, just-Oh gods! I’m so sorry, that name slipped out! I- I, I’m really sorry Hawks." Even in your wild state, you noticed Hawks tense up at the sound of being called Keigo by a total stranger, and were able to get out an apology. That was progress? You were slowly coming back to reality.

Hawks froze up a bit at the sound of hearing his real name mentioned. At first he wasn't sure if he believed your tale of the isekai situation, but after this he might have to reconsider it. He opted to shake off that weird feeling for now and focus on different matters. 

" I-I don't know what I'm supposed to do now? I have nowhere to go or to stay. I'm in a whole different freaking universe! My phone doesn't even hardly work here. And I have a pair of wings on my back!" You puffed them out angrily. Hawks glanced behind you and his eyes widened a little. You in fact, did have a set of bird wings. Kind of owl like wings. Not near as big as Hawks', but definitely big enough to fly you around.

Before Hawks could process the words coming out of his mouth, he was already asking you, "Would you maybe like to stay with me? I can help with your quirk too." He glanced away awkwardly. You looked towards him in disbelief.

"Dude, are you sure? We literally just met like 10 minutes ago? I mean, I'm all for it, I have nowhere else to turn to, but if you really really don't want me here, I will politely step out of your life." You so badly wanted to accept his offer on the spot, but being the considerate, mostly sensible human you were, you gave him the option to back out. Hawks shook his head.

"No, no, it's alright. You can crash here. Uh- I mean- stay here! Sorry!" You giggled at his comment.

"Well thank you very much!"

"It's all good. I have a spare bedroom you can occupy for the time being. I'll give you some clothes to sleep in that'll hopefully fit. Accidentally bought a couple things in the wrong size without looking. " (a/n: just...just assume its your size, or oversized, whatever's comfy idk) He jumped up and headed towards his room to grab you the clothes. You still sat on the floor. Still amazed at everything that was occurring.

Hawks walked back into the room and tossed you the clothes. "Hey uh, you know, you can get up now, sorry for holding you down earlier.."

You blushed and scrambled to stand up, "Oh no! It's ok! I understand. This would definitely warrant that kind of action. Some random stranger crashes into your apartment at like 1am. I completely understand. Honest."

He let out a small laugh and wearily brushed his fingers through his hair. The adrenaline of everything finally wearing off. He could feel the tiredness setting into his aching muscles again. “Ah, well, I’m going to head to bed now. The room is down the hall at the very end that you can stay in. I’ll take you out training tomorrow evening if that’s alright?”

You gave a nod of understanding and followed him down the hallway. “Goodnight Hawks,” you sang as he walked into his bedroom. He gave a hum of acknowledgment and closed his door. 

Making it into what was now your room, you changed out of your clothes so fast, eager to rid yourself of the past hours events. 

Not gonna lie, you could not figure out how to properly get your new wings into the shirt, even with the holes and snaps in the back. Your mind was too exhausted to even process this new skill. So you ended up going to bed without the shirt on and just settled for putting the sweatpants on. 

You figured it’d be good to just pass out asap. You were sure if you tried to recount the recent events, you’d spiral into a panicked mess. 

You shut your eyes tightly, willing yourself to sleep, trying to only think of positive outcomes for the future. But to be honest, you didn’t know enough about anything in this realm to think rationally about anything good. 

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I prooobably didn’t proofread this as much as I should have

[dancingazaleas]

𖨆. 05 / all for us

summary: after the recent incident, you don’t feel a real reason to live. so why try to live?

note: this was supposed to be longer, but i loved how it ended. i’m also a suffering from headaches again. please be patient with me. also, PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS IVE LISTED. this is a DARK chapter.

taglist: @the-sun-baby @voltairelesecond @baelo80 @uniquepickle @ascybous @saturnalya @messyhairday-me @stupid-stinky

word count: 1.4k

warnings/notes: cursing, suicidal thoughts, self harm, attempt of suicide, dark, panic attack

YOU lay on the floor of your closet once again, the scratchy carpet being the only thing that provided you with warmth. the only person you'd seen for the past few days was erwin. anytime he'd even mention levi, you'd beg for him not to see you.

you groan quietly, deciding to go lay in your bed for a while so your skin won't keep itching. your foot chills when it touches the hardwood floor of your room, and it distracts you from the task at hand.

you're dizzy now, only being able to focus on your foot. it didn't help much since you collapsed onto your side, breathing heavily through your nose as you stare blankly to the wall. you haven't stood up for hours, opting to leave the closet only to go to the restroom.

you blink while getting back onto your feet, hand pressed against your head as if you were soothing it. you decide to go to the bathroom, if you go now that means you won't have to go later.

you watch your hands afterwards, tired eyes watching your reflection in the crystal clear mirror.

your face was bruised, you have a black eye and a deep cut on your cheek from levi's wedding band.

you look back down to your hands, wanting to focus on something else in order to soothe yourself. you don't bother to dry your hands off with a towel, opting to shaking them around in the air.

your feet drag against the floor as you jump into your bed, body smoothly sliding across it so your head rests against a pillow. you curl up under the covers, genuine warmth crashing against your body for the first time in days. it's almost overwhelming, but you can't find it in yourself to care.

you watch a movie to help pass the first hour and a half of you being outside of the closet. you play another movie for background noise, getting off of your bed and walking to the bookshelf.

you grab a black book with white font, grabbing a smaller blanket and throwing it over your lap once you sit in a chair.

you’re going to read some of this book and then retreat back to your safe space whenever they come to feed you.

even though you’re reading the story, you can barely comprehend the words along with the plot line. everything seems to be a jumbled mess inside of your mind, so much that it makes your head hurt right behind your eyes. time stretches longer than you meant for it to as you keep rereading all the sentences, hoping to gain at least a tiny bit of understanding.

you’re attention is taken away by the sound of the door opening and closing. you’d been so focused you hadn’t even noticed that someone was coming to see you. and not only was it someone, it was levi.

the book falls out of your hands and onto the floor, eyes wide as you stare at levi with fear.

he’s holding your tray of food for lunch, which you don’t think you’ll be eating today since it’s not erwin who’s going to feed you.

levi tries not to get irritated at the way your body is trembling. he hasn’t even said a single word and you’re already cowering.

when levi steps closer, you jump out of the chair and into the corner furthest from him. you cry out for erwin, for help, anyone that will be able to take levi away from you.

it startles levi for a moment, but it’s soon replaced with frustration as he makes another step.

you scream while tears gush out of your eyes, nailing planting onto the wall you’re up against. levi angrily puts the tray of food down onto your windowsill, metal and glass clinking against one another in unsynchronized harmony.

for whatever reason, it has you screeching with you dropping to the floor and cover your head with your arms. levi’s worried and goes to make a move towards you, but you’re too frightened to think.

your screeching has his head pounding, so much that he’s silently praying that erwin would just come in already.

“i’m—i’m trying to fucking help!” he barks at you, stomping his foot onto the hardwood flooring.

you jump once more, protecting yourself more than before.

levi goes to scream again, but he’s interrupted by the door to your room slamming open.

erwin’s there, half dressed and messy hair while his eyes frantically scan the area. his eyes widen at the sight of your cowering, quickly rushing over to you to sit in front of you.

“what happened,” he asks levi while cautiously pressing a hand to your knee.

“i just walked in and she just went batshit,” levi says with exasperation, confusion and anger flashing on his face.

“get out. you scare her,” he orders with furrowed brows, stroking the skin of your kneecap with his thumb.

levi scoffs but listens anyways, shutting the door behind him.

“my love, everything’s okay. it’s just us now,” he murmurs sweetly, managing to coax you out of your panicked state just a bit.

“us? j... just us,” your voice is shaky as your hand absentmindedly reaches out for erwin.

“yes, just us,” he confirms with a smile, managing to gather you in his large arms.

you continue to cry, only this time you can breathe.

“can’t be with ‘im... i’m scared,” you admit while attaching yourself to erwin, “so scared.”

shushing you, he coos, “you can, i believe in you.”

wrong choice.

“no! no! NO,” you start to trash in his arms, once again entering the almost inconsolable mind state.

since he wasn’t expecting your panicked reactions, you manage to kick him in the chest and push him away. his body bangs against the stool of your vanity, knocking it onto his side with a loud crash.

levi runs back inside, watching how you jump to your feet and over to your vanity. erwin manages to scoot further away from you, slightly unsure of your next move.

you’re sobbing uncontrollably as you slam your fast into your vanity’s mirror. it’s so clean, not a smudge on it. not even a speck of lint. it’s perfect.

the shards cut your hand, but you don’t care, too high on adrenaline. levi and erwin go to disarm you just as you manage to grasp a particularly large and sharp shard of glass.

the moment it’s in your hand, you raise your opposite wrist to the glass while screaming at the two men.

“NOT ANOTHER STEP,” you cry as you push the glass against your skin, freezing both levi and erwin, “not another fucking step or i kill myself with this shard right fucking here.”

“(name), my love, it’s alright! it’s okay! no one’s going to hurt you,” erwin barely moves an inch while he pleads, but you don’t care.

“I SAID NOT ANOTHER STEP!!” you roar while slicing the glass against your skin, blood immediately pouring from the new wound.

dark red paints the glass as your finger swipes against the blood by accident.

“get out,” you whimper, “just leave me alone to die, please.”

“we can’t do that,” levi says calmly, accidentally taking a step out of instinct.

it feels comparable to flour whenever the blade slices through your pretty skin. it burns and you know that you might end up having to get stitches from just how deep it is if you want to live. and considering you can only really get stitches from hospitals, you say your goodbyes in your head.

“if you can’t do that,” your vision is starting to grow hazy as your breath comes out ragged, “then, i’ll just kill myself right here, knife at the vein.”

this is the only way you’ll be free again. the only way you’ll be away from them. the only way you’ll probably ever get to see your friends again.

your hope has dwindled into nothing. you know you cannot get away, not in a million years. now, there’s only one way to escape. death.

and by god if you let one of them slaughter you.

and so, you slash your arm once more right against the vein. blood oozes from the wound with ease while your eyes roll back and your knees hit the floor. the last thing you see is erwin and levi running towards you with panicked looks on their faces. it almost makes you laugh.

you hope to see them in hell.