#if you know what I'm talking about then I applaud you as well as grieve for you

[misteria247]

Me a normal 27 year old getting ready for work like an adult should

This hellsite: There's OH NO by Marina & the Diamonds

My brain immediately playing a full ass movie of nothing but Vriska Serket

Me spiritually back to 13 or 14 years old: *proceeds to jam to this bop*

[ganymede-apathy]

Listen, Heartstopper has been my primary focus for the past few days (literally rewatched it so many times I've lost count) and it has given me a LOT to think about, and I desperately want all of my thoughts out there because this show is an absolute MASTERPIECE. So I'm just going to make a list of things I find make the show deserving of highest praise, but also generally try to avoid topics that I find have been talked about in abundance, unless it's a topic that absolutely needs repeating.

∙ Heartstopper season 1 has introduced a new age of purely romantic queer representation, with a lack of over-the-top tragedy (season 2 would be a different story, however). Due to a lot of queer representation in the past often being overly sexualized and/or fetishized, much of queer youth was influenced in some way that the community has had a large issue with hook-up culture. A lot of queer people grew up without proper representation but hopefully now that Heartstopper has begun to set a standard for LGBTQ+ representation, younger generations will have what many of us got too late.

∙ The cast is genuinely some of the most dedicated actors I have ever seen. They are all attached to the story and know and understand their characters so well. They are so aware of the impact they have made with this show and they all want to continue doing so. The world has many amazing and talented actors but the Heartstopper cast takes the cake. They have all done such amazing jobs, and there are no other actors that could truly play these characters as well as they have. Additionally, almost all of the actors came straight from the pages of the graphic novels. That's actually so cool to me that each character had their perfect actors.

∙ This show proves how absolutely important it is to have the creator of the original story involved. Many adaptations fail in this regard, but Alice Oseman's direct hand in the creation of this show has created a flawless transition from paper to live action. She created these characters through her own mind, and her experiences. Nobody could have done it better. And Alice also has always been so in touch/in sync with her audience, as well. We just need to take a moment to applaud Alice.

∙ Something that's been brought up a few times, but genuinely is such an important factor. Not only is the cast actually young enough to properly portray teenagers (Kit Connor and Joe Locke were both still in school while filming this show), but (I might get heat for this but it's true, in my perspective) most of the cast do not fit with the mainstream beauty standards/expectations, and yet they are all such beautiful people. Beauty standards have always been so heavily enforced in media, and I think this show breaks this cycle. Everyone is a different kind of beautiful and this is going to go a LONG way, I hope.

∙ Let's talk about generally how much effort was put into making this diverse cast of characters all have their own stories and obstacles, and yet still make the representation flawless. Viewer interpretation is also so incredibly welcomed. We all can find ourselves relating to one character or another. Some of us have no idea how hard it can be to achieve something like this and make it flawless. Many, many writers/artists struggle with this. Yet, they did it. There's so much character development for each character. And more to come in the future.

∙ Perhaps not the best praise to this show, but still very important in my eyes. The series is such a double-edged sword. It fulfills everything many of us didn't get when we were younger, but we also grieve the lack. In the show, when Nick says "I wish I'd met you when I was younger," to Charlie, that's how many of us feel about this show. So much of my life there was a lack and it's fulfilled now, and that's great, but now there's this void. The show made me think about how much of my life I spent lost. It portrays confidence in who you are but I didn't have that growing up. I always felt like I wasn't seen. I wasn't alone, sure. I had surrounded myself with many people who made the journey bearable, but to the world I was on the sidelines. The show came too late, but I am so glad I endured so I could experience it.

Honorable mentions/short praises:

∙ Guys, Disney is aware that Pirates of the Caribbean has been many people's bi awakening. And they let Heartstopper use the scene with Keira Knightly and Orlando Bloom to PORTRAY THAT. I just think that's so funny and interesting.

∙ The amount of talent these actors had to actually make you feel everything they felt. Every single emotional moment in this show has grabbed me by my throat and made me feel everything. This show has made me feel more emotion than I have in YEARS. That is absolutely phenomenal.

[mcdannoangelwolf]

My thoughts on H50 10x07.

I just watched this episode and I am SO pissed off. I've been told I tend to be cold and harsh on certain things and, as much as I've tried to deny that, this episode made me feel it.

This is gonna come from both a meta-position and a RL position so it might be hard to follow.

I love Alex. I think he made a lot of bold and powerful choices with this episode. For that I applaud him. However it pisses me off something chronic how hard he worked to give Doris a redemption story.

He had me in the first half, the speech about how what she did what she did for herself. Faking her own death. Springing Wo Fats dad from the black site. Recruiting Catherine. She chose every step of the way. You cannot tell me that someone as cunning and ruthless as Doris didn't have enough dirt, enough info, to secure an exit for herself. All her talk of the Government forcing her and using her and what it cost her. Doris CHOSE to go back EVERY SINGLE TIME.

I was good with this. Finally Steve was seeing her for what and who she was. But then the Swiss accounts. Really? That was the angle he went with? That was so far out of left field that, frankly, I found it pathetic. Nothing we've seen of Doris has shown that she had the level of concern or remorse for her kids/Joanie.

Yes people change. I fully understand that. People do the wrong things for the right reasons. But we've never been shown this in Doris. Infact we've seen the exact opposite. She used Steve on several occasions to meet her own needs with barely a token effort to try and dissuade him.

Furthermore how does she figure that they would have used it, would have kept it? Mary and Steve both know Doris well enough to know that it would have been blood money. Every cent. If Doris had really cared she would have done another fake ofbher death and moved on. Let her kids finally grieve in peace and move on with their lives.

Now some might say it wasn't about Doris. It was about Steve and giving him closure. To that I say what closure? I saw only a man heaped with yet more pain and trauma than he knows what to deal with. Than he deserves.

Some might say that I don't know Steve. Don't know his life or his feelings or his desire to have his mother in his life. To that I will say you are right.

But I do know about parental abuse. More than I care to admit. I'll just say my former step father was a master of psychological and emotional abuse and manipulation. Which is exactly what we've seen Doris do, right up until she died.

I also know about parental abandonment. I know what it's like to beg and plead and hope and pray for that parent to want you around. For them to want you in thier life. I know what it's like to reach the point where you can't twist the knife in your own gut anymore. To where you have to just get down on your knees and say your peice to God, the Universe, the Devil and whoever's else is listening and let it go and move on.

I'm not as good a person as Steve. Maybe I don't feel or love as deep as him. But for me, when she refused my help and cold-cocked me with that pistol, that is when I would have walked away.

Some people don't deserve second chances. Some people don't deserve redemption. Some people make their beds and need to lie in them. In my estimation Doris was one of them.

Then we come to what is probably the most tragic part of the episode. The pointlessness of it all. Doris had the sub and men bugged. She went off the tilt but still, in the end, did her job. Sure the CIA didn't know that. I understand that. But it was still pointless. All Steve's work, his pain and guilt and trauma. Pointless. Doris' death pointless.

Maybe that was the point. To illustrate the pointlessness. The futility.

Life on Life's terms indeed.

Well my Rant is over.

Best all,

J.

P.S

I realized how hard I went after I posted this so I privatized it till I could make this addition.

I want to say that my anger is not directed Steve. I have nothing but mad love, respect, and sympathy for Steven J McGarrett. If anything this episode makes me feel closer to him. I my heart broke so much for him that I want to do the Sushi roll care meme with him and give him all the cuddles with Danno. My upset is specifically aimed at the writing and Doris' arc.

That said I still think this episode was a masterpiece. Very powerful. Just, for me, infuriating.