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#if you encourage angst you will receive it lmao
buckyseddie · 1 year
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give it another chance
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pairings — fred weasley x fem!hufflepuff!reader, featuring platonic!bff!george weasley x fem!hufflepuff!reader, platonic!bff!cho chang x fem!hufflepuff!reader and platonic!bff!cedric diggory x fem!hufflepuff!reader
summary — in which, she's been hurt before, but fred hopes she'll give him a chance.
word count — 5.0k.
warnings — mentions of past heartbreak that reader experienced and having had given up on love and relationships a long time ago because of it, reader has deep, DEEP insecurities and issues with herself, reader is very close with cedric, george and cho, there's slight mention of angelina and fred's possible relationship AND flirting, george, cho, and cedric call her pet-names but they're all platonic, reader and angelina and fred are all good friends (along with the golden trio) but just not as close as she is with cedric, cho, and george, angelina and fred are extremely clueless and oblivious to what's literally RIGHT in front of them, fred worries over reader, cedric and cho protective mode activated lmao, fred gets jealous easily of cedric and reader despite the fact that they're just friends, this is a hurt/comfort fic, fred is kind of a big jerk to cedric because of his jealousy, use of pet-names [sweetheart, love], fluff, angst, fred is sooo whipped for the reader, mentions of the reader experiencing gaslighting, manipulation, and emotional/mental abuse in past relationships.
notes — yes, as a matter as a fact, the reader is a hufflepuff because i just love the fred x hufflepuff reader fics and also bc i'm a hufflepuff myself and this is kind of just a fic to comfort me because i deal with the same issues that the reader does and because i've just fallen into my obsession with him again! gif and divider creds to owner!
p.s., feedback is very much encouraged and appreciated <3.
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SHE SIGHS, IGNORING THE CONCERNED looks she's quickly receiving from her friends.
"why don't you just tell him how you feel?" george quietly asks, trying to not irritate the girl, following her line of sight to the table where fred is sat with his girl friend sitting beside him.
"george, please. don't start this again." she mumbles, turning to look away from the other twin when he suddenly looks over to her direction.
he sighs, his eyes becoming filled with sympathy. "why not? everyone knows about how you feel. if you tell him how you feel, he'd immediately stop his flirtations with angelina." he murmurs seriously as she rolls her eyes and grumbles under her breath.
"aren't you supposed to be sitting with him anyways? this is where us hufflepuffs sit." she rolls her eyes again as he throws a pointed look at her, knowing that she's only trying to change the subject.
"c'mon, darling. don't lie to me — or try to change the subject. this is me," he states seriously, raising his eyebrows at her as she sighs shakily, beginning to push her food away. "i'm always here for you."
"george... it really doesn't matter — it doesn't matter at all, how i feel about him. don't you see?" she asks him, her voice wavering in emotion as they both glance back at fred and angelina.
tears cloud her eyes as she gulps, trying to ignore the heartache and the sound of the crack in heart, while george watches her in concern — he knows this look too well.
anytime that [y/n] has ever loved or liked someone, she'd always wear that broken look on her face, after pushing them away and hiding her true feelings.
she just couldn't deal with allowing herself to let someone in — the last time she did, she experienced an insane amount of pain and trauma. she couldn't let anyone in again, after that.
but, even as she watches angelina and fred flirt so naturally with each other, not only does her heart split even further, but a part of her yearns to be with him.
more than anything, she wishes she could let go of the worry and fear of getting her heart broken again. but, it's not possible.
"he's happy with her. he doesn't feel that way about me and i can't just ruin that because of my feelings," she states, trying to keep her voice level. "besides, i can't tell him for other obvious reasons."
"merlin, [y/n]. don't do this to yourself — you can't keep punishing yourself." cedric speaks up, already having enough of the self-destructive behavior of his best friend.
"guys, just leave it alone," she inhales deeply as she prepares to lie straight through her teeth. "i've moved on. now it's your turn to do the same."
—————
GEORGE WALKS INTO HIS AND his twin's dorm room, only to notice fred sitting quite tensely on his bed, seemingly stuck in his own mind.
"brother, are you alright?" his brother's voice startles him out of his thoughts as he snaps his head up.
"oi! don't sneak up on me like that!" he yells in a joking tone of voice, immediately making the decision to hide his clear stress with humor — something that he does all too much.
george fixes his twin with a familiar look, as if to say, "seriously?"
fred sighs in defeat, avoiding his brother's worried glance for a moment.
"seriously, fred. what's going on? i've never seen you so upset like this before."
with another sigh, he catches his brother's concerned eyes. "[y/n]'s been acting different lately — i reckon she's been avoiding me."
a knowing look crosses george's face, causing fred to frown in confusion. "brother... what do you know about this?"
even with his undying loyalty to his twin — his best friend in the entire world — he wouldn't dare betray [y/n]'s trust and expose her feelings, even if he wants his brother and his good friend to finally be together and would do just about anything to make it happen.
despite how quiet and reserved [y/n] is, she can be quite scary when someone hurts or angers her. and boy, when she's angry, that is something he'd rather avoid than witness because of his own stupidity.
so, still with the knowing look in his eyes, he half-lies, "nothing. i just noticed that she was quite upset herself earlier at dinner."
hearing this, fred's ears perk up at this.
though, from the way his brother avoids looking him in the eyes, he quickly suspects that he knows more than he's letting on.
"georgie, what are you not telling me?" he questions, slightly louder than intended, as his brother simply shrugs, a small smirk placed on his lips.
with clear frustration, fred ignores his brother's weird behavior, going to grab his jumper. throwing it on, he quickly walks past his brother to the door of their dorm.
"what are you going to do?" he questions, worrying that a confrontation might make things worse for [y/n].
with that same tense look on his face, which quickly changes into one of determination, fred turns to face his brother, only for a moment. "i'm going to find out what's going on and i'm going to fix it."
and with that, he pulls the door open and rushes off down the stairs, not giving george a chance to respond to him, or to even stop him.
—————
THERE'D BEEN A PARTY IN the gryffindor's common room — george and fred had been lucky to not have joined the party, this time.
athough, lee had been the one to start it, not without putting a spell on the room to keep the loud talking and music from being heard outside of the room.
cedric had dragged [y/n] along with him and cho chang. but, no matter how many times her best friend tried to cheer her up, it was no use.
she couldn't stop thinking about fred and her feelings — and god knows whatever's going on between him and angelina.
though, someone appearing in front of her shakes her out of her miserable train of thoughts.
"[y/n]! how are you?" angelina asks, that familiar sweet and kind smile placed on her face.
despite her hurt feelings over fred and her refusal to admit anything, she knows that she hates the girl stood in front of her.
not only because of the fact that she's her friend, but because of the fact that angelina is perfect. and more importantly to [y/n], she's perfect for fred.
fred — someone she's cared for and loved for such a long time. despite how much she cares for him and how hurt she is by the aching pain in her heart, she couldn't ever be selfish for her own desires — more than anything, she wants him to be happy.
so, with a forced smile and the action of blinking away her tears, she answers her, "i'm fine! why? do i not seem okay?" she questions her cautiously and worriedly, scared that she's not as good of an actor as she thought.
"oh, no! i just mean fred and i haven't see you in a while and we've both been quite concerned for you." she explains, the worry and kindness very evident in her eyes.
at the very mention of the boy she loves, [y/n]'s facial expression falters. "o—oh... " she trails off, taking notice of the way angelina described herself and fred. was there truly something else going on between them — possibly something much more than she'd initially suspected?
both cho and cedric wear both awkward and sympathetic looks, knowing how uncomfortable the conversation is for their friend. though, she doesn't admit it.
after all, she wants her two friends to be happy, even if it means it won't be her being with one of those said friends.
quickly masking the pain that she feels into an expression of fake happiness, [y/n] turns to cedric and his girlfriend. "why don't you guys go on and enjoy the party? i'll be fine."
cedric, remaining the ever-so-loyal-friend, hesitates, while cho decides to pull him away from the two girls, having faith in [y/n]'s strength of character.
"are you sure?" he asks, continuing to hesitate as his girlfriend tries to pull him away.
[y/n] rolls her eyes and lightly shoves him towards his girlfriend, making sure to not push him too hard into her. "just go."
a few seconds later, cho successfully leads her boyfriend across the room to talk to harry, ron, and hermione, who are across the room. though, they're also watching [y/n] very carefully.
as she turns to face her friend stood in front of her, angelina watches her closely, trying to understand what she's feeling. though, she doesn't get a single hint, aside from the glee on her face — obviously this is fake, only to keep her friend from worrying or understanding the true feelings behind her pain.
though, most of the majority of the people at hogwarts know of her feelings towards fred, angelina is among some of the few people that don't know about it — she's too clueless for her own good.
"[y/n]... are you sure everything's alright? you seem... different."
as she goes to open her mouth, surely to give her some bullshit excuse of being fine, something behind her friend catches her attention.
a flash of firey-red hair makes her stop. she gapes as his slightly upset gaze finds her equally just as hurt eyes.
her eyes meet cedric's from across the room in panic, before she glances back at fred, only to notice george now appearing from behind him.
"[y/n]? what's going on?" angelina asks, though [y/n] only hears it as a faraway, muffled voice, before she's able to acknowledge it.
as her panicked eyes find george's, she notices his own worried glance, before looking back at angelina. "i... " she gulps, her throat quickly becoming extremely dry.
"i—i have to go... i'm suddenly feeling terribly sick to my stomach." she lets out in a wavering tone of voice and rushes out of the room, cedric quickly leaving with cho following him, after [y/n].
fred misses them, just as he begins to step forward.
—————
CEDRIC AND CHO FIND HER sitting on a pair of vacant stairs, holding her knees to her chest with her head hiding over them. tears are streaming down her cheeks — the emotions she's been desperately trying to avoid and hide and bottle up, have finally come exploding out.
she heaves in embarrassingly long breaths as both of her friends sit by her on both sides of her.
cedric places a hand over her shoulder, easily pulling his best friend into his chest to hold her as she cries once more, while cho holds one of her hands and squeezes it to comfort her.
"i... i'm so fucking stupid. how did i think i could get through any of this without going mad? and even more than that, it hurts to see them together... "
cedric's eyebrows knit together in an upset manor as he and cho share the same look. "you're not stupid, [y/n]. hardly. if anything, that bloke of a weasley is the one who's an idiot, not you," he murmurs as cho nods in agreement.
"sweetheart, anyone would be mental to not want to be with you. you're better than half the girls that are constantly throwing themselves at him." cho states seriously, which causes [y/n] to let out a choked laugh.
"not better than angelina, though. right?" she sniffles, more tears filling her eyes at the mere thought of her friend and fred getting together and having to see that every day.
"don't think like that." cedric murmurs, immediately tightening his hold on the girl when he notices two red-haired boys making their way near the stairs.
"what do you want, weasley? can't you see she's upset?" cedric exclaims, though not too loud to alert any adults walking around the castle, growing protective over his friend, hating how much pain he's causing her.
don't get me wrong, cedric likes fred — he approves of fred and he thinks he and [y/n] are perfect for each other.
but, in the moment, he would rather keep the weasley boy away, if it would make his best friend's pain lessen.
though, deep down, he knows that it isn't fred's fault. he doesn't know the truth — he's just as oblivious as angelina.
although [y/n] doesn't look up for a second, she knows she has to talk to fred eventually.
so, with a deep breath, she lifts her head up, looking up at the tall weasley twin as she quickly wipes away the remaining tears on her cheeks.
"it's okay, ced. it's not his fault." she croaks out, her throat completely dry and sore from crying so hard.
"are you sure, sweetheart? you don't have to talk to him if you don't want to." cedric states seriously, rubbing his hand up and down one of her arms to further comfort her.
fred catches both the touch and the pet-name and something in him snaps; his jaw clenches and his eyes are lit with both irritation and jealousy. "mate, i'm sure she can speak for herself."
cedric snaps his head in fred's direction, his protective instincts kicking in. "i—"
before he can snap back at fred's angrily-hissed response, both cho and [y/n] abruptly stand up.
"enough!" [y/n] whispers in frustration as cho goes to walk over to her boyfriend, lacing their fingers together and gripping one of his arms gently, in order to keep him from getting into an unnecessary fight with his best friend's best friend.
both fred and cedric's angry looks falter and turn into ones of shock and bewilderment.
cedric quickly calms down as his girlfriend's physical touch eases his anger towards fred, while fred's eyes soften at the obvious pain in [y/n]'s eyes, even as she tries to stay strong in the moment.
despite how much she's been crying about angelina and fred, she steps forward, keeping a strong expression on her face and keeping a safe distance between her and fred.
"both of you enough with the yelling! you're both going to get us in trouble if you keep yelling like that." she whisper-yells before she turns away from fred to face cedric and cho.
"cedric, i appreciate how much you're worried and want to protect me, but i don't need protecting from fred — i can take care of myself," she states.
then, she turns to face fred, who smirks at cedric in response to him getting shut down. "yeah, mate. walk away." he says cockily, still under the impression that there's something between him and [y/n], causing him to be in this reckless state of mind.
this causes cedric's eyes to spark with irritation as he attempts to walk over to him in anger.
though, cho holds him back, murmuring to him to calm down.
"cedric, stop! he's trying to get a rise out of you." she states, becoming slightly angry at the behavior that the two boys are displaying.
"cho, would you please get him out of here? i'm fine, i promise." [y/n] reassures the girl stood beside her boyfriend, who nods in agreement.
"and you! stop being an arse! bloody hell! i don't know where the merlin you're getting this attitude from, but don't take it out on cedric, when he's only trying to be there for me and support me!" she exclaims quietly at fred as cho and cedric begin to walk past them.
though, as they pass fred, cedric stops to mutter something to him in a voice of utter protective instincts for his best friend in the entire world, "don't hurt her or you'll live to regret it!"
fred laughs cockily, once more. "i'd like to see that happen!"
with an annoyed sigh, [y/n] turns to face fred, glaring at him.
cedric, wanting to not to piss off her more than he already has, decides to simply glare at fred, before following cho down the hall and back to the gryffindor's common room.
george steps forward, shoving fred forward a bit, before nodding to the direction that both cho and cedric went off in. "i'm going to leave you kids to yourselves," he states as [y/n] nods gratefully, before he leans in to his brother's ear and whispers, "don't screw this up, brother!"
then, he's off, walking down the hall.
once it's just the two of them, fred clears his throat. he gives her that signature charming smirk of his.
though, she rolls her eyes at him — she's obviously still quite angry with him for his behavior.
"you know, i don't really appreciate you treating cedric like that. he was being protective — he didn't deserve that," she states in a strained voice, trying to ignore the part of her that wants to fall for his tricks and charms. "and i don't appreciate the way you were acting! what in the hell is going on with you?"
fred only rolls his eyes in response. "i was quite wondering the same thing about you, sweetheart," he states, ignoring the angry look in her eyes when he steps forward. "why've you been shutting me out, love? is it because of... diggory?"
"seriously? are you mad? you're not going to even acknowledge how terrible you were just acting towards one of my best friends? instead, you're questioning me with cedric — for what exactly?"
"do you have feelings for him or something? because if you do, i'd rather you just tell me, instead of leaving me confused!" he exclaims, almost angrily as he tosses his hands up in the air in frustration.
"merlin! fred, what in the bloody hell makes you think i have feelings for him? he's my friend — and only that! and last time i checked cho's his girlfriend, aka, my friend!" she groans, so unbelievably aghast that he'd think that about her.
"and if you really think that, then you haven't been paying attention!" she whisper-yells, much more angrily than before.
this, however, only frustrates the weasley boy even more. "what does that mean?" he questions, stepping closer to her, causing her to only step away from him.
after noticing this, it's just another thing about her that aggravates him. "and why do you keep putting this... bloody distance between us?"
she only stares at him in utter anger and confusion. how could he have not seen it, this entire time?
don't get her wrong, she knew that if she was hiding it all very discreetly, then it would all make sense.
but, that's just it.
she hadn't been discreet about it — at all.
even the golden trio know about her feelings for fred and they aren't even that close to her at all. george too!
that just proves how idiotic fred has been this entire time.
because even though she'd tried so hard to hide it, it was all too incredibly obvious of how she feels towards the firey, red-headed twin.
he rolls his eyes at her silence. "well, then? go on! pray tell, what have i not been paying attention to?" he questions in a tense voice.
despite being absolutely obsessed with the girl stood in front of him, he can't help but always feel so frustrated with her at times — times like this, to be honest.
she can be incredibly infuriating at times — much like how he's so infuriating to her.
"you know what!" she whisper-yells, not wanting to admit it quite yet, this time not backing away as he steps closer to her to hiss at her, "i apparently bloody don't!"
tears start to blur her vision at the thought of this entire conversation. why couldn't anything just be easy for her, for once?
her breath comes out shaky, fanning his face — that's how close they are to each other now — as that negative voice in her head starts to yell terrible things at her.
she's fighting internally on whether to tell him the truth or not.
if she tells him the truth, it could very well ruin everything — their friendship, the way he sees her, the relationship she has with his family, all of it.
but, she could also easily make up some lie — some bullshit excuse — that she's just too busy with homework and her classes to hang out with him and that she missed him terribly.
she decides on the latter.
"nothing, fred." she gulps, creating some energy to create some more space between them as she turns away from him.
"i've just been busy with some homework and classes have been overbearing — that's what i felt that you hadn't noticed before. i came to the party to see you — i miss you. 's all." she mutters anxiously, hoping he believes her.
although her excuse seems like it'd make perfect sense, fred doesn't buy it for even one moment.
"[y/l/n], you cannot honestly expect me to believe that for even one single moment. what's really going on?" he questions, a bit softer than before.
hearing him call her by her last name shocks her for a mere moment — he only ever uses her last name to address her when he's being incredibly serious.
as she masks her face into one of stoicness, she turns back to face him. "nothing, freddie. everything's fine."
even though he's just begun to get calmer towards her, he once again becomes completely irritated with her, once more, over the fact that she just lied to him.
"don't lie to me, [y/l/n]!" he exclaims in a small whisper.
her facial expression stays the same, hoping that he'll just eventually leave it alone. but, she knows better than that.
"i know something's bothering you! if it was simply just homework, you'd have told me immediately that that's why you haven't been around. it's more than that, isn't it?"
she throws her hands up in mere irritation. "why does it matter? you're happy with angelina, aren't you?"
fred's eyebrows furrow together in confusion. what did she have to do with this?
"why are you bringing her up? what does that have to do with the fact that you've been avoiding me?" he questions her, becoming much more confused when her eyes fill up with tears, once again.
"merlin, fred... you don't get it!" she exclaims, this time not bothering to care about getting caught anymore.
getting caught by one of the professors and getting in trouble with them would surely be a lot better than having this conversation with a very daft fred weasley.
but, as she turns away, finally deciding that leaving might just be better than being forced to have this very uncomfortable conversation, it's as if everything clicks into place.
fred's brown eyes widen as a light goes off in his head. the realization is too big to spare her of the embarrassment she might feel.
"do you love me?" he suddenly asks, his voice filled with uncertainty.
he couldn't be sure if he was right. but, at this point, he couldn't think of another reason why she'd bring up angelina. or why she'd be avoiding him so much.
he realizes now that it's obvious that this whole time she's been hiding something from him. and he knows now that it isn't because she's hiding something normal that she's going through — she always tells him everything, no matter how embarrassing or humiliating it is.
so, really, the only thing that he can come up with is that she'd be hiding from him is something as complicated as hiding romantic feelings for him.
but, he also feels that that's quite a ridiculous answer to all of his questions.
because... how could someone as extraordinary and beautiful and kind and smart as [y/n] ever care about someone like him in that way?
but, when she suddenly freezes in place, those words making her blood run cold, he knows now that it must be true.
"that's it. isn't it?" he questions once more, waiting for her to face him.
but, she doesn't. she'd rather die or get caught far away from her dorm room by one of the professors, than to have to admit the truth.
"that's why you've been avoiding me and angelina so bloody much!" he exclaims, as if he's finally figured it out.
now that he knows the truth and he's allowed himself to accept it, he swears he feels the feeling of butterflies swarming around his guts.
though, he doesn't get to try to calm himself when he notices the broken expression on [y/n]'s face when she finally turns around to face him.
her cheeks are tear-stained and her eyebrows are pinched together in both frustration and anger.
"say something." he begs when she stays silent.
a shaky breath leaves her lips as she glances away. more tears fill her eyes and they quickly spill down to her cheeks before she can stop them. "it doesn't matter... " she shakily trails off, gulping down her pride.
she could still be her stubborn self and refuse to admit the truth. she could even gaslight and manipulate him into thinking he's crazy, to avoid the truth — just like what has been done to her so many times.
but, for one, she refuses to be the person that doesn't break the cycle or the type of person that becomes the problem. and two? even if she could do to someone of what was done to her, she could never, ever do that to fred — the boy she's so incredibly in love with.
and how could she lie when it's already out in the open? deep down, she knew that this was all going to come out and be revealed eventually.
"why's that?" he asks, voice deep and raspy, hoping to get an answer out of her.
she sniffles, shaking her head. "fred, don't... don't make this more uncomfortable than it has to be. i've ruined everything already," she says, voice wavering and trying whatever she can do to keep her emotions in control. "not after what i've just done."
even though fred can be the most clueless, daft boy at hogwarts, even he can sense the guilt radiating off of her. "love..."
before he can try to comfort her, she holds a hand up at him. "no... don't. please... please, don't tell me that this isn't my fault. because it is. i should've just kept my mouth shut. i couldn't just let you and angelina be happy."
he knits his eyebrows together in confusion. "[y/n], what are you talking about? how is this your fault?"
a small cry leaves her lips as she lifts up her hands in the air in frustration. "i never wanted this!" she exclaims, wiping away the tears off of her face.
his eyebrows raise in shock and he jumps a little at her mini outburst.
"i never wanted to fall in love again, okay? every time i've let someone in because i thought maybe, just maybe, things would be different, it's all ended the same — i've just repeated the cycle of heartache and emotional pain over and over again," she starts, trying to ignore the hurt look that's on his face. "i just wanted to push everyone away and never get into a relationship again. but then, i met you."
fred's quiet as he listens to her and does his best to ignore the anguish in her voice.
"it hurt too much to ever think about going back to that pain again — of getting hurt again, or letting someone in and giving them the key to my heart. i couldn't think about doing that without getting sick to my stomach." more tears fill to her eyes, but she pushes through it, knowing that she needs to get this all out, so that he really understands.
i mean, of course he knows. how could he not? he's her actual best friend. but, that doesn't mean that he doesn't really know to the full extent.
"but... even when i've known that falling in love again was wrong for me, i couldn't help it. something about you has always drawn me in and... " she trails off, more tears falling as she shrugs, "i—i don't know. i just can't explain it."
he steps forward, needing to say something to her — anything.
"no, please. don't say anything yet, freddie," he stops short, his heart breaking into a million pieces when he notices the broken look in her eyes. "i know i've ruined everything, okay? i know that. but, i just can't stand the thought of you hating me without understanding why..."
she turns away from him after this, too scared of his reaction.
"love..." fred trails off, suddenly in front of her as he lifts her chin up.
[y/n] is startled when she notices the soft and gentle look in his eyes — not a single negative emotion on his face or in his eyes.
"w—what are you doing?" she asks, confused and extremely emotional.
"proving to you that you can have the happy ending and you deserve it." he murmurs, only confusing her more.
he wipes away the tears on her face as he tucks in a stray hair behind her ear. that lovesick look on his face doesn't disappear as he cups her face in his hands.
"i know it's scary, but we can take this one step at a time. i love you and i'm willing to wait for you." he states, startling her once more.
"w—what?" she stutters, eyes widening.
"it's true — i love you, too."
"you... you promise?" she asks nervously, her heart beating faster than ever.
she gulps when he nods. a small smile takes over her lips as she leans her forehead over his, closing her eyes and taking in the moment.
"okay. let's take it slow then."
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sundrop-writes · 8 months
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From Your Lips
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Jennifer Jareau x Gender Neutral Reader
Summary:
After JJ is attacked by dogs on the Hankle farm, everyone else is busy worrying about Reid’s missing status, but you take the time to check on JJ and try your best to calm her flustered mind.
Jennifer Jareau x Gender Neutral Reader. Established Relationship. Smut, Hurt and Comfort. Set during Season 2, Episode 15.
Word Count: 3,000
Criminal Minds Masterlist | AO3 Link
THIS IS A RE-POST. This is a fic from my old blog (a blog that was shadowbanned, forcing me to move). This fic is not stolen, it is completely mine, and I am just re-posting it to help people find my new blog, and to make my masterlist complete when I post new fics for this fandom.
Detailed warnings and author’s notes below the cut.
Warnings: this is set during Season 2, Episode 15 (“Revelations”); warnings for themes/plot points from the canon episode - rabid dogs, mentions of JJ being attacked by dogs, mentions of dogs eating/killing a woman (a random woman who is not named here), animal death - mentions of JJ having to shoot the dogs (killing them) in self defence, gun violence, mentions of Reid being kidnapped (no details of that are discussed in this fic), religious themes (in this fic, religious motifs are used to encourage sexual behaviour - spoken about as though God made us to have sex with each other, not to discourage it as the Christian religion does); symptoms of shock/PTSD - JJ waves a gun in the reader’s face because she’s scared; general emotional angst, mentions of JJ blaming herself for Reid being kidnapped; mentions of blood (from JJ’s injuries); the reader is completely gender neutral - there are no identifying pronouns used for the reader (other than the ‘you’ I generally use for fics) and the reader’s genitals are not described in any specific way; use of Y/N, mentions of a pre-established sexual relationship between JJ and the reader - it could be a friends with benefits situation, it could be secret lovers, it’s never quite specified; JJ is more submissive and the reader is more dominant, but there is no outright dom/sub relationship; the reader calls JJ 'Jay’, 'sweet girl’, 'sweets’, and 'good girl’; using sex to distract from one’s emotional problems; (technically) semi-public sex because they’re in the bathroom where anyone could walk in on them (but they’re not caught by anyone); kissing/heated making-out; the reader fingers JJ; neck biting/marking (JJ receiving); hair-pulling(JJ receiving); praise kink; clothed/mostly clothed sex; I believe that’s everything.
A/N: This was primarily inspired by the picture of JJ on the right. I saw it and I was like 'damn she fine’ but I knew it was from Revelations so I was like 'damn she fine but I know she’s havin a real bad time rn’ - so I did the thing I do best: smut based off emotional trauma. This is basically the scene where Emily comes to talk to her in the bathroom, but replacing Emily with a reader character and then they fuck. Also the title comes from the phrase 'from your lips to God’s ears’ because religious imagery. I had so much fun with this lmao. I hope you enjoy it!
...
You couldn’t help but to feel bad for JJ. 
You knew that everyone was concerned about Reid - rightfully so. Worried about where he was, if he was alive or not. But you were the type of person who preferred to focus on the things you could control - the things right in front of you. JJ was someone you had known for long enough that you knew how to comfort her, and you pushed the ‘what-ifs’ about Reid to the back of your mind in favor of focusing on her. 
You knew that she was intensely shaken up by the entire situation. Not only the fact that she had been nearly mauled by a couple of dogs, pieces of her skin torn up and marred. But it was the fact that the team knew for certain that those same dogs had ripped a woman apart only a few days ago. You knew that JJ hated being forced to shoot those dogs. She was someone with a tender heart. You knew that all of this was affecting her. 
On top of all that, she was likely blaming herself for Reid being put in danger, even though there was nothing she could have done to save him. 
While everyone was gathered in the main room, looking through Hankle’s things for any hint as to where he had taken Reid, you moved toward the back of the house, knowing that JJ had gone to the bathroom to ‘freshen up’. You knew her well enough to easily pick up that it was code for her needing a moment to escape from everyone else in some attempt to calm down. 
The door to the bathroom was open just a crack, so you took a peek, not wanting to startle her by knocking. 
You could see her hunched over the sink, stress knit through her muscles as she gripped the sides of the porcelain. You felt a twinge of guilt flow through you as the thought occurred to you - even in such a state of duress, she was so beautiful. Painted in agony or pleasure, she was gorgeous.
She looked almost angelic like this, and you hated to believe that torture looked good on someone like her. (Perhaps it was the fact that you had seen her ‘tortured’ before - sweaty and begging, half on the brink of madness as she pleaded to get your tongue between her thighs once again.) 
You found your eyes admiring the sliver of skin that peeked out between her white button up and the low waist of her simple black dress pants. You found yourself wanting to actually smack yourself as a form of scolding when you couldn’t help but to admire the gentle dip of her waist and the curve of her ass. 
You felt sinful for thinking such carnal thoughts, even when she was so wrought with stress, clearly so wrecked from the night’s events. 
Perhaps it was the fact that you had come so close to losing her, and now that urge to possess her bubbled closer to the surface than ever. But you pushed it down as you gently nudged open the bathroom door. 
When the creak of the hinges echoed through the room, you certainly did not expect to be greeted with a gun in your face. 
JJ had whipped around much faster than you expected, and pointed her Bureau issued glock right at you. Clearly, she expected you to be a threat. The look in her eyes was positively wild - like a frightened animal being cornered by a fierce predator. Which of course, was something that had happened to her only a few hours before. 
“JJ.” You called out her name, keeping your voice firm, trying to ground her in this reality. 
Her eyes continued darting around, glancing into the hallway behind you as though she was expecting another rabid dog to suddenly appear there. 
“JJ, it’s just me.” You told her, reaching up and gently easing the gun down. 
She was still incredibly tense, so you reached up with your other hand and massaged along the inner part of her wrist with two fingers, getting her muscles to relax enough that she let go of the gun, dropping it into your hand. You made sure the safety was turned on before you placed the gun on the closed toilet lid. Then you turned and closed the bathroom door behind you, sealing the two of you into a quiet bubble to hopefully give her time to calm down. 
JJ let out a harsh breath - a sound that was mostly a sob strangled inside of her chest. She ran her hands through her already wild hair, tears gathering in her eyes once again. She turned to face the wall and you instinctively reached out, running your hands gently across her shoulders. 
One of your hands stayed as a comforting grip on her upper arm and the other rubbed an open palm up and down her back. You hoped you could soothe her in some way. You truly hated how she quivered under your touch, how you could feel those sobs trapped inside of her lungs; the echoes of cries she refused to release because she felt that she needed to put up a strong front. 
“It’s so stupid.” JJ complained. 
Her voice was wet with the unreleased tears as she held her head in her hands, still facing away from you. Her long blonde hair easily created a curtain around her face so that couldn’t properly see her. 
“I grew up with dogs! I had dogs! I love dogs, I would never-” 
“It’s not your fault, Jay.” You pressed, using your affectionate nickname for her. “When people train animals to attack like that, there’s nothing you can do.” You leaned in, gently resting your cheek on her shoulder, assuring her that you were there before you whispered the next words. “You had to shoot them.” 
JJ let out a harsh whimper, clearly struggling even more now with holding back her sobs. You wanted to tell her that it would be okay to cry, but you knew that it would be useless. She was raised as the strong brick wall of a daughter in her family, and she was not used to showing weakness - especially not used to crying. 
“I should have stayed with Spencer.” She announced quietly. “I shouldn’t have let him go off without backup. I should have-” 
“Jay, that’s not your fault either.” You told her firmly, cutting off whatever self blaming rant she was about to go on. 
She muddled in a bitter silence, her arms shaking lightly as she rocked her head back and forth - shaking her head in the negative in response to what you had said. 
She had to believe it was her fault. If Spencer didn’t come back from this, her self blame would only be worse. 
“JJ, look at me.” You demanded gently. She didn’t move, and you reached over and put a hand on her wrist, attempting to pull her hands away from her face. “JJ, please look at me.” 
When your voice warbled out the plea, she finally wavered to your touch, and let you turn her around to face you. You caught a glimpse of the bright red stains soaked into the sleeve of her shirt, splattered up across her front, and you tried to ignore the sickly curl in your gut because of it. 
You had the urge to lift her bandaged forearm up and lay a few kisses on it, like you would have kissed a child’s scraped knee - more so for the emotional comfort than any possible health benefits. But you knew that would have been more for you than for her. 
So instead, you reached out, brushing past that tangled curtain of blonde to gently cup her face with both your hands. You handled her with an intensely delicate touch as you tilted her gaze up from the ground. 
A few tears had managed to escape, and you brushed them away with your thumbs. JJ sniffled quietly, sounding quite small and defeated as she did so. For the first time that night, she felt a slight calm wash over her as the comfort of your presence truly settled in. 
She was eternally grateful to have you there with her. She reached up and gripped onto your wrists, keeping you anchored there. She skimmed her thumbs along the top of your hands, enjoying the smooth feeling of your skin as you stared at her broken face - a tearful angel that made your heart ache for her. 
You were called by the higher purpose to worship that angel - to turn her pain into pleasure.
Before you could stop yourself, you found yourself drifting toward her, leaning in and planting your lips on hers. It certainly wasn’t the first time you had kissed JJ, but it most definitely wasn’t the most opportune. 
She easily returned the kiss, pressing her mouth into yours with a soft neediness. It was when she let out a small moan, the sound vibrating against your lips that you felt that sting of guilty panging at you once again. The fact that lustful heat and your grief for her were colliding so heavily inside of you made you feel like just as much of a monster as the man who had taken Reid and sicked dogs on her. 
You pulled away from the kiss sharply, putting only an inch of distance between the two of you, not letting go of her cheeks. She didn’t let go of the hold she had on your wrists either - you wanted to keep her assured of your presence because she did need the comfort during this hard time. 
“I’m sorry-” You gasped out an apology for kissing her so inappropriately, but JJ, ever the woman to know exactly what she wanted, didn’t let you finish. 
“Don’t apologize.” She ordered sharply. “I need you.” 
She kept her eyes closed, her brows tight with anguish as you gently laid your forehead against hers. 
You couldn’t help but to question it. 
“Now, Jay?” You asked quietly. “Right now?” 
“I need to forget.” She whispered, her words so timid that her breath barely ghosted your lips, even with you so close to her. 
Your heart ached at her tone, and when you didn’t reply or didn’t move to kiss her again, she continued. 
“Every time I close my eyes, I just see… I just see those eyes glowing in the dark. I just hear growling.” She admitted, a few more tears escaping that you rushed to thumb away. “I need to forget it. Please, help me forget.” 
“Anything for you, sweets.” You whispered, using another affectionate nickname for her. 
You leaned in for another kiss, firmer this time. 
You let your instincts take over then - all the lust you had been pushing down rushing to the surface and servicing you well. If she needed to forget, then you would certainly make her. You would make her feel so good that all she would be able to focus on would be the hot blood thrumming through her ears. The medicine that God intended. 
You pushed her up against the edge of the sink, keeping one hand on the side of her face and moving the other to her hip. You skimmed your fingers along that tempting strip of skin right above the waistband of her low-rise pants, causing her to shiver at the teasing touch touch. 
In a moment, your forceful dominance, the way you handled her easily had her moaning into your mouth again, much louder this time. You moved the hand on her cheek around to comb your fingers through her hair. You dug your knuckles in, setting a powerful grip at the base of her skull that held her exactly where you wanted her. It was a tender pain that had her gasping for you as you shoved your tongue past her lips, now on a very determined mission to fuck every last dreadful thought out of her head. 
Your fingertips continued to dance along the waistband of her pants, gently teasing her skin in a great contrast to the forceful movement of your lips. Every single movement was cleverly calculated to make her mind numb. Right down to the way you tugged at her hair and yanked on her bottom lip with your teeth as you pulled away from the kiss, leaving her panting wildly. 
Her eyes were closed much more gently this time, her eyelids fluttering lightly, and you hoped that you had already reduced those nightmarish visions to dust as she relaxed into your touch, buttery under your fingers as always. 
“Thank you,” JJ breathed out, her voice sweet as ever as you bit a path down her neck. You wanted to leave noticeable marks that would stand out among the scratches and bumps she had acquired that night. 
You truly didn’t care if anyone else on the team spotted one of those marks and knew what it was. You were paying tribute to her, leaving your own kind of thank you on her neck as you sucked the soft skin between your teeth. Your fingers finally found the button of her pants and easily popped it open blind, pulling the zipper down in a moment. Without a second of hesitation, you shoved your fingers past the barrier of her simple cotton underwear. 
With one last sharp bite, you moved your head back up from the crevice of her neck then, pressing your forehead against hers once again. You kept that tight grip on the back of her hair, a small hinge of pain that grounded her, that assured her you were there. 
Your fingers easily found her clit, and you made the bold choice to begin rubbing her without wetting your fingers first. You knew that it would be a pleasurable sting that would certainly push any other thoughts from her mind. 
“Oh, fuck, Y/N-” 
JJ gasped, arching her hips away from the edge of the sink to meet your touch, her lips falling open beautifully and her eyes still so gently fallen shut. She looked so fucking angelic like this. 
More tears kissed her lashes as you pressed harder on her clit, moving your fingers in hard, slow circles. You could assure yourself that these were tears from pleasure, not from anguish or pain. You had rewritten the stony hurt inside her muscles, rethreading the cords tight with the need for an orgasm where they were previously pulled tight with stress. 
“Please!” She begged so beautifully when she wanted to. 
It felt like its own unique reward to know that you were one of the only people that all powerful Jennifer Jareau ever begged to. 
You felt her becoming wetter around your fingers, flooding her underwear in response to your simple touches, and there was only one thing you wanted before you would make her cum. 
“Look at me.” You told her, the words quiet on your lips but so utterly full of confident power. 
JJ whimpered in response, not yet opening her eyes, and you stopped the movement of your hand altogether. She let out a very displeased sound and you began slowly pulling back, threatening to leave her hanging (which was a very empty threat in this context - not that she had to know that). It was something that immediately caused her eyes to shoot open as she reached out and grabbed your wrist, holding you in place. She canted her hips up, desperately trying to get your touch back where she needed you most. 
“Please,” She pleaded again, all hot breath and desperation - all for you. 
Staring into those blue eyes, lit with a desperate blaze of lust as she panted out humid breaths across your chin, you were only reminded of the fact that everything you did was for her. Everything in your life was a worship in her name, no act too small to dedicate to such a perfect Goddess. 
“Good girl.” 
You praised her, knowing it was exactly what she needed as you angled your fingers back between her wet folds. You gathered up that wetness, slicking up your fingers before you placed your determined touch right on her throbbing clit. This time, rather than being slow and calculated, you were quick and determined. You made speedy movements that you knew would draw her to the quick finish that would perfectly empty her mind. 
“Always so good for me, Jay.” 
“Thank you, oh! Oh, fuck!” 
She started singing your praises in her own way as your touches sped up, the sound of her wetness just barely muffled by the fabric of her pants and underwear, becoming delightfully sloppy under your fingers. With the way she was unconsciously canting her hips toward you, humping against your hand, you knew she was so close. 
You leaned in, and while looking her in the eyes the whole time, you bit down on her bottom lip and roughly pulled it out, letting the skin snap back in a rough possession of her as she panted and moaned the whole time. 
“Cum for me.” You demanded in a rough growl, finding yourself comparable to one of those rabid dogs. Though you were consuming her in a way that renewed her life, rather than trying to end it. “Cum for me, sweet girl.” 
“Fuck!” JJ cried out, an epic prayer as she spiraled into the all consuming pleasure of her orgasm. 
Though you wanted nothing more than to listen to those beautiful sounds, you had to silence her most pitiful orgasmic cries by clasping your lips over hers. You didn’t want the others hearing - you wanted to keep those sounds all to yourself. You muffled her noises with a tight suction of your mouth as you continued to work her right through the orgasm, keeping a tight grip on her hair the whole time to show her exactly who she belonged to. 
With the crucifix mounted on the bathroom wall, the knowledge of Hankle’s God staring right at you as you did all this - you couldn’t find an ounce of shame inside you. Not now. You could find no better way to honor God than to lovingly dedicate your life to the embodiment of his best work.
...
A/N: Please keep in mind - this is a oneshot, so there will not be a continuation of it or a sequel to it. If you are going to comment, please comment about the body of work that has been written. I have not written any other fics about JJ at the time of this being posted, but if you like my writing style, definitely feel free to check out my Criminal Minds Masterlist or my other Masterlists.
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meltinghun · 8 months
Text
Complicated ; Jean-Pierre Magnan.
summary; since the start of the school year, Jean-Pierre and reader have competed with each other for the first place on everything, that is until reader starts to neglect herself.
warnings: fem!reader, ANGST!!!, fluff, swearing, academic enemies-to-lovers, feelings of failure, reader has a shitty family AND doesn't take care of her health (dead dove do not eat? idk?), canon typical misogyny, they're so mean but they like each other (i promise!!).
w/c: 2.8k
author note: i want to thank everyone who encouraged me to keep writting, your comments made me blush and giggle so hard, omg!!!! <3
I got stuck in this o.s for more than a month because I really liked the idea but I wasn't convinced on how it was turning out, but anyways, I had to upload something after being inactive for so long lmao.
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The latin teacher handed each student their graded exams, occasionally throwing back handed comments when he saw necessary, visibly enjoying the defeated faces of the students that didn't receive a satisfactory grade.
With an audible sigh, he extended the paper towards Y/N, shaking his head to emphatise his dissaprovement.
"You were the only reason as to why I was starting to believe that it was a good idea to integrate girls to the school." He raised his eyebrows. "But I'm starting to regret it."
The loud comment reverberated on the walls and hurt her ears, making her shrink in her seat with embarrassment when the big red 7/20 was placed in front of her. When the professor continued walking around, she heard a subtle chuckle coming from the left, turning her head in that direction. Founding a pair of big green eyes already staring at her in amusement.
"And I'm starting to believe that, after all, you are not a threat at all." A small smirk painted his face before continuing. "Maybe you fooled all of us into believing that you were actually smart, but I guess you aren't at all."
Her throat closed at the same time that she felt the need to throw up, she didn't knew what was wrong with her, she stayed up late studying for the tests, wrote her own resumes and even recited them out loud to try and memorize it, but no matter what she tried, the formulas didn't seem to stick to her brain, the numbers and symbols seemed like the exact same thing and confused them with each other and even the words of her history homework seemed to be written on a foreign language. She felt like a failure ever since her parents started to demand even better grades than she already had, spending her days and nights studying and having little to almost no sleep at all, investing all her time into trying to regain her star student position.
She was exhausted, sometimes even getting to the point of hallucinating things from the lack of rest, but convincing herself that she didn't deserve it until her parents were more than proud of her. And that seemed so far away.
Blinking away the tears, she tried to keep up with her facade, "Maybe you should start to mind your own business, Magnan." She managed to spat through gritted teeth.
"And that's where you're wrong, again." She groaned in annoyance. "See, when something makes you feel miserable, it is completly of my business because it makes me feel amazing."
She took a sharp inhale, and before she could say something, the sound of the bell indicating the start of reccess pierced the air. Rapidly, she gathered her belongings and almost sprinted out of the classroom, earning a severe reprimend from the teacher that she didn't care enough to hear.
"Miss L/N!" He made an offended sound. "Women, they are so sensitive... That's why they don't belong here."
She made a straight path towards the teachers restrooms, and only after locking the door did she allowed herself to let out a choked sob. The tears falling down and making a mess everywere, a hand coming up her face to try to muffle her desperate cries.
She really didn't know what was wrong with her.
Maybe she was the problem.
Everything came down like a ton of bricks falling on her, from the pressure of trying to be a role model for her family, to the hurtful words of Jean-Pierre that striked a nerve. Usually it wouldn't bother her that much and instead she would have a comeback ready to throw at him, but lately that wasn't the case, the highlights of her day used to be the moments were they started bickering at each other, sharing defying looks and victorius smirks in the way. She awaited those moments so eagerly.
But now she was lacking the strength to think on a smart jab to get right back at him, and even when she did manage to come up with something, it didn't bring her any satisfaction at all like it used to. Instead, she just felt drained.
Once again, the bell rang indicating to everyone that the classes resumed once again, but rather of getting out of her little hiding spot, she just stayed there, not feeling ready to face yet another deception.
Nor face again those mesmerizing green eyes.
A sharp headache made her wince slighty, she's been having them since a few days ago, sometimes were more powerful than others and today it seemed like one of the days were she felt like digging out her brain out of her head. She splashed some water on her face and looked at the mirror, looking away almost immediately when she took note of how sick she looked.
Opening the door, she carefully made her way to the infirmary, thinking to herself that some minutes with the school's nurse could excuse her absence in the class. A sudden feeling of dizziness caused by the sudden movement almost made her trip over, but before it happened, a strong hand took hold of her arm, keeping her from falling.
"What is wrong with you? Where the hell were you?" Jean-Pierre gave her a severe look that harbored his concern.
"I already told you to mind your own business." With all the strength she could muster, she pushed herself free out of his hold, the anger bubbling on her veins. "I don't owe you nothing, so get out of my sight and leave me the fuck alone. You would do me a great fucking favor."
Her harsh words left him completly dumbfounded, never before had she talked to him like that, even on the days when he annoyed her out of her mind. He saw how she moved towards the stairs, holding tightly onto the rails; moving closer to her hunched form, he felt the sudden and desperate need to ask her what was the problem, if he could help her in any way.
"I'm here against my will, Miss Couret sent me to look out for you." Was the only thing that came out of his mouth. "She was worried because she didn't saw you at recess, even more when you weren't at the classroom."
The lie slipped off naturally from him. Miss Couret didn't sent him to look out for her, he scaped class by coming up with some excuse about needing to ask something important about his latin competence, the truth was that he was the one who worried about her absence. But she didn't need to know that tiny detail.
Jean-Pierre would never admit it out loud, but he saw the drastic change on his rival's attitude, and it got him concerned. He would secretly listen to conversations of her friends that involved Y/N herself as a main topic, that's how he got to know how strict her parents were with her and it made his stomach churn with worry.
The weird thing was, he really didn't know why he cared so much, neither why he couldn't stop thinking about her. She was the first thing on his mind when he waked up, thinking about new ways to annoy her and have her total attention on him, he thought about her on the afternoon while doing homework, wondering if she managed to do the excersices better that him, and she was also his last thought before dozing up to sleep, anxiously waiting for the morning to come to do that rutine all over again.
He really didn't knew why.
A grip on his sleeve made him stop on his tracks and turn his torso towards her, his free hand instinctively coming up to rest it on her forearm.
"I think I will pass up." She mumbled with a lost look on her eyes. "If you let me fall, I will kill you, Magnan."
And not even a second later, everything turned black to her.
- - - - - - - - - -
The fist thing she noticed was the slight smell of pine blending up with the strong one coming out of the medicines, a small sigh leaving her lips before opening her eyes, stumbling almost immediately with the image of Jean-Pierre sitting beside the bed she was lying, and from what she could see, he was engrossed with a latin book.
Her heart raced and a hundred thoughts per second invaded her head. He could've left her with the nurse to come back to class, why was her still there? Was he waiting for her to wake up? But also, what if he was only there to be the first one to laugh at her? The questions overwhelmed her inmensely, so she decided to ask first the important ones.
"How long have I've been unconsious?" The sudden sound of her voice making him shot his head up, she could swore he almost looked relieved.
"I, uhm... Here, I bet you are thirsty." He cleared his voice before handing her a cup of water. "It wasn't for that long, just a couple hours. The school's over in less than forty minutes, so we can go home anytime."
She emitted a groan. "No wonder why I feel like I slept for years, I missed the whole day!" Leaving the cup on the bedside table, she glanced quickly around the nursery. "Where's Mrs. Bellanger?"
"Some kid was playing too hard and broke his arm in the process, she told me to keep an eye on you while she took him to the hospital." He paused, momentarily doubting if he should keep going. "She also told me that you passed out due to a huge lack of sleep and a possible unbalanced diet. Tell me, did you thought that it was smart? To harm yourself in order to have the acceptance of some idiots who can't see your real value? It's not worth it if you end up like this."
As if it were an habit, her eyes got teary, losing the count on how many times she cried on the day. It bothered her so much, even more that it was happening in his presence. For a moment, he almost sounded so consternated... But either way, she wouldn't tolerate being scolded like a kid.
"Excuse you?" She exclaimed, an evident frown on her face.
"Don't try to play dumb. You know what I mean."
"Oh, so you want to know why? I'm the first granddaughter, the first niece, the first child, the older sister... It's obvious that I have to make some sacrifices, even if it's at my own expense. After all, everyone expects so much more from me." The words came out slower than before and full of venom. "Yes, it may not be really healthy, but I push myself because it's the only way to make them proud of me, and it's something that I believed you would understand, Magnan."
"And you are not wrong, I do understand you." He took a few seconds before saying his next words. "That's why I don't want you to pressure yourself to be someone that you aren't, I know what it's like to be pressured by your parents -..."
"No, you don't. You don't know how my parents are!" She interrupted him. "You don't know how it is to be belittled when you don't achieve something worthy of their interest, you don't know how its like to feel proud of yourself because you thought that you finally did something right just to find out that you failed again, or to spend every second of the day studying, priving yourself of having a social life just to feel miserable at the end of the day. And you definitely don't know how it's like to live your whole life without knowing if your family even likes you."
She didn't know when she started to cry, much less in what moment Jean-Pierre got close enough to wrap her in a tight embrace. But suddenly, she felt like the constant emptiness in her chest was being filled with something much greater than a temporary stability brought by false acceptance, it was an unknown warm and fuzzy feeling that made her anguish vanish away. It felt like that was all she needed throughout her life.
They pulled apart slowly, his hands immediately went to her face to wipe away any traces left of tears on her cheeks, and they stood there, looking at each others eyes, feeling as if they were frozen in time. 
"I may not understand entirely, but I can learn how to." He murmured. "I really want to understand you."
"But why would you bother?" She asked, confused and desperate to know. "Since the moment we met, the only thing we do is argue, we hate each other!... I tried to hurt you so many times and you have done the same to me, so please, make me understand, why would you want to help me? Why do you care?"
"Because I care about you, deeply." The words came out breathless, his eyes trying to desperately find her gaze. "I really don't know how to describe what I feel, but I do know that every time I see you, my heart goes crazy, and sometimes I wonder if it will come the day where it's going to jump out of my chest to go chasing after you. I know that every time you laugh with another person, I wish with all my soul to, someday, be worthy enough to be the cause of your smile. But I do know that if I hated you, really did, I would be happy for your downfall, but I'm not, because I can't force me to act as if I don't care about you, not anymore."
Jean-Pierre wasn't a man or words. All his life he struggled to express his feelings, but this time, it was different.
"One of the things I admire you for is the way that you don't never give up, it doesn't matter how many times I get a slighty better mark, you study harder until beating me up the next time we have an exam. You are resilient, and so damn smart that it makes me feel jealous sometimes, because I wish I could have a little bit of the determination that you possess, and I can't comprehend why you focus on your non existing flaws and ignore all your strenghts."
"I never thought..." She began with a whisper, attempting to make a joke in order to not break down completely. "I never thought that someone could ever think that highly of me, not even you."
"How could I not? You are the most incredible person I ever met, Y/N."
A violent sob reverberated on the nursery walls, and before she could even feel shame for shattering that easily due to the sweetest words she ever heard, she found herself on Jean-Pierre's hold once again.
It felt like they spend a lifetime in that embrace, hearing nothing more than the rapid beats of their hearts and sharing everything they didn't had the courage to say out loud, not yet. Squeezing the hug one last time before breaking away, she dried her face with the sleeves of her blouse, his adoring eyes never leaving her.
"Now, what? What's next from this point?" Fearfully, she asked.
"Now... I will walk you home." Seeing her confused frown, he added rapidly. "If you want to be the number one, you have to be better than me, and the first step to achieve that is to sleep well and eat some real food. You have to take care of yourself, then we will work on the rest."
"We? You will help me beating you up?"
"I want to help you to become a better version of yourself. If that costs me becoming the second of the class, then so be it."
He extended his arm in her direction, encouraging her to hold it. Slowly, she got up from the bed and hooked their arms together.
"I must admit that my home is far away and I came walking today, so you can still back down if you want."  
"Only a fool could reject such offering."
She exhaled a shaky breath, never expecting that answer. As they made their way towards the door, a sudden question hitted her.
"How did you know about my problem with my family?"
"I accidentally overheard a conversation, I didn't realise it was about you until they named you." An overwhelming warmth creeping up his face.
"Of course, 'accidentally'."
"Shut up." His reddening cheeks and the obvious attempt of a lie didn't went unnoticed, earning a light giggle from the girl.
That fluttery sensation came back to her. She never thought that it would be possible to feel this smitten over someone, even if she still struggled to admit it. While the boy couldn't stop thinking of how fortunate he felt in those moments, with the person he couldn't stop dreaming about holding onto him and walking her home for the first time, and hopefully not last. The warm breeze of the spring surrounding them as they made their way out of the school between laughs and jokes, secretly wishing to have more moments like this one in the future.
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jayden-killer · 11 months
Note
Hi!
I love your stories, could you make one where the reader is dating Miguel and is also a part of the spider community. The reader helps Miles to escape and Miguel finds out and argue with her.
I hope that you will keep writing stories.
Have a great day !
omg omg hii! I'm so glad you enjoy my stories, receiving these types of compliments always make my day :DD. And, i deeply apologise for taking this long to write your request; I've been so busy with my uni exams.. Anyways, here's your story!!
I HATE TO FIGHT YOU. (Miguel O'Hara × gn!reader)
warnings: Angst to light sfw (at the end)???, Miguel expressing his anger by literally destroying his lab lmao, VERY LONG ONE SHOT.
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Superpowers aren’t easy.
So it wasn’t a relationship with the leader of the Spider Society. Miguel was not an easy guy to argue with, you might call him stubborn, which was one of his main features. And even when Miles Morales, the newcomer to society, tried to change his mind, begging him to give him a chance to save his father, he hadn’t changed his mind. There was nothing Miles could do to change his mind. It was difficult with me, imagine with the others! But this is another story; Miles Morales was chased by an angry mob of Spider people, led by Miguel, flanked by me. The walls of the structure resounded with encouraging screams that every spider person gave himself, giving more charge during that chase. Miles was right in front of us, dodging webs and traps stretched by other members. There was something about that kid that maybe wasn’t something wrong.
He needed to be sent home and help him save his parents. I had not succeeded, and I would have avoided that another person (moreover a little boy!) would have gone through the same pain that I had to go through. Miguel and I split up, and that was my chance. With a perfect throw of my web, he managed to grab Miles' right arm and pull it towards me. The boy stretched his eyes, thinking it was the end for him. Only when I made a sign to him to become invisible and to hide behind a shaded wall, he understood. He hid me in turn, letting the angry crowd pass us.
Now it was the right time. "Miles". I called the kid with the labored breath and he returned to his normal form. He was exhaling and inspiring too, following the hunt we were giving him. Without wasting time, looking around if there was a person there, I took out my time clock, and put it on his wrist. " This clock will take you to your dimension. It’s already set for where you need to go. Don’t ask any more questions, go." Without giving him an answer, I left him there, in the shadows, his face confused and sweaty, while I waved him to go.
~☆~
"You did what?!"
"He’s a boy, Miguel!"
"You have no idea how serious the situation is because of you".
"Miguel, you have to reason. You can’t really thi-".
"The situation is far worse than you think, puta madre!"
Miguel’s scream rang out the second it left his mouth. I could compare him to an animal: panting, with his eyes reddened and grainy, studying every movement, his shoulders outstretched, ready to attack his prey, me, or maybe someone else. His fierce and intimidating tone made me shudder, close my eyes for fear that something might happen, or worse; I held my arms in place along my hips, biting my lip to channel the emotions I had inside. I didn’t want to show weakness before Miguel. Or better: he had already seen me as I was. Fragile, with doubts that twisted my mind, like a normal human being, yet in those situations I always tried not to show off... I wanted to have everything under control. The man didn’t realize that he was wrong, that he was blinded by this compulsive obsession with control. We were talking about a little boy, Jesus Christ!
I opened my eyes.
My thoughts were replaced by the still threatening tone of Miguel, my lover, who took a long sigh, pinching the tip of his nose. Then he shook his head, turning his back. The lab was upside down: the news of my help to Miles was the straw that broke the camel’s back.
"The consequences are serious. I can’t risk losing more people to a kid".
That was more a warning to him than to myself. "I need to think about it... I need to be alone".
"Miguel.." I tried to talk to him.
With one hand he stopped me from talking to him and shook his head slightly, not looking at me. " No." He said. "I know what you did. It was right. But now I need to be on my own" he repeated feebly, that I found it difficult to understand well what he wanted. Then I agreed, because I respected his condition and his well-being, so I left him alone in the now ruined laboratory, with the last words: "I only did what was right. He deserves a chance", then the doors closed. I swear I heard something from him.
"And I don’t blame you. But it’s not right that he can save his family, and I couldn’t do it".
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tenpintsofsundrop · 1 year
Text
From Your Lips
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Jennifer Jareau x Gender Neutral Reader (Smut Blurb)
Concept: After JJ is attacked by dogs on the Hankle farm, everyone is busy worrying about Reid's missing status, but you take the time to check on JJ and try your best to calm her flustered mind.
Word Count: 3,000
Criminal Minds Masterlist | AO3 Link
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Detailed warnings and author's notes below the cut.
Warnings: this is set during Season 2, Episode 15 ("Revelations"); warnings for themes/plot points from the canon episode - rabid dogs, mentions of JJ being attacked by dogs, mentions of dogs eating/killing a woman (a random woman who is not named here), animal death - mentions of JJ having to shoot the dogs (killing them) in self defence, gun violence, mentions of Reid being kidnapped (no details of that are discussed in this fic), religious themes (in this fic, religious motifs are used to encourage sexual behaviour - spoken about as though God made us to have sex with each other, not to discourage it as the Christian religion does); symptoms of shock/PTSD - JJ waves a gun in the reader's face because she's scared; general emotional angst, mentions of JJ blaming herself for Reid being kidnapped; mentions of blood (from JJ's injuries); the reader is completely gender neutral - there are no identifying pronouns used for the reader (other than the 'you' I generally use for fics) and the reader's genitals are not described in any specific way; use of Y/N, mentions of a pre-established sexual relationship between JJ and the reader - it could be a friends with benefits situation, it could be secret lovers, it's never quite specified; JJ is more submissive and the reader is more dominant, but there is no outright dom/sub relationship; the reader calls JJ 'Jay', 'sweet girl', 'sweets', and 'good girl'; using sex to distract from one's emotional problems; (technically) semi-public sex because they're in the bathroom where anyone could walk in on them (but they're not caught by anyone); kissing/heated making-out; the reader fingers JJ; neck biting/marking (JJ receiving); hair-pulling (JJ receiving); praise kink; clothed/mostly clothed sex; I believe that's everything.
A/N: This was primarily inspired by the picture of JJ on the right. I saw it and I was like 'damn she fine' but I knew it was from Revelations so I was like 'damn she fine but I know she's havin a real bad time rn' - so I did the thing I do best: smut based off emotional trauma. This is basically the scene where Emily comes to talk to her in the bathroom, but replacing Emily with a reader character and then they fuck. Also the title comes from the phrase 'from your lips to God's ears' because religious imagery. I had so much fun with this lmao. I hope you enjoy it!
...
You couldn’t help but to feel bad for JJ. 
You knew that everyone was concerned about Reid - rightfully so. Worried about where he was, if he was alive or not. But you were the type of person who preferred to focus on the things you could control - the things right in front of you. JJ was someone you had known for long enough that you knew how to comfort her, and you pushed the ‘what-ifs’ about Reid to the back of your mind in favor of focusing on her. 
You knew that she was intensely shaken up by the entire situation. Not only the fact that she had been nearly mauled by a couple of dogs, pieces of her skin torn up and marred. But it was the fact that the team knew for certain that those same dogs had ripped a woman apart only a few days ago. You knew that JJ hated being forced to shoot those dogs. She was someone with a tender heart. You knew that all of this was affecting her. 
On top of all that, she was likely blaming herself for Reid being put in danger, even though there was nothing she could have done to save him. 
While everyone was gathered in the main room, looking through Hankle’s things for any hint as to where he had taken Reid, you moved toward the back of the house, knowing that JJ had gone to the bathroom to ‘freshen up’. You knew her well enough to easily pick up that it was code for her needing a moment to escape from everyone else in some attempt to calm down. 
The door to the bathroom was open just a crack, so you took a peek, not wanting to startle her by knocking. 
You could see her hunched over the sink, stress knit through her muscles as she gripped the sides of the porcelain. You felt a twinge of guilt flow through you as the thought occurred to you - even in such a state of duress, she was so beautiful. Painted in agony or pleasure, she was gorgeous.
She looked almost angelic like this, and you hated to believe that torture looked good on someone like her. (Perhaps it was the fact that you had seen her ‘tortured’ before - sweaty and begging, half on the brink of madness as she pleaded to get your tongue between her thighs once again.) 
You found your eyes admiring the sliver of skin that peeked out between her white button up and the low waist of her simple black dress pants. You found yourself wanting to actually smack yourself as a form of scolding when you couldn’t help but to admire the gentle dip of her waist and the curve of her ass. 
You felt sinful for thinking such carnal thoughts, even when she was so wrought with stress, clearly so wrecked from the night’s events. 
Perhaps it was the fact that you had come so close to losing her, and now that urge to possess her bubbled closer to the surface than ever. But you pushed it down as you gently nudged open the bathroom door. 
When the creak of the hinges echoed through the room, you certainly did not expect to be greeted with a gun in your face. 
JJ had whipped around much faster than you expected, and pointed her Bureau issued glock right at you. Clearly, she expected you to be a threat. The look in her eyes was positively wild - like a frightened animal being cornered by a fierce predator. Which of course, was something that had happened to her only a few hours before. 
“JJ.” You called out her name, keeping your voice firm, trying to ground her in this reality. 
Her eyes continued darting around, glancing into the hallway behind you as though she was expecting another rabid dog to suddenly appear there. 
“JJ, it’s just me.” You told her, reaching up and gently easing the gun down. 
She was still incredibly tense, so you reached up with your other hand and massaged along the inner part of her wrist with two fingers, getting her muscles to relax enough that she let go of the gun, dropping it into your hand. You made sure the safety was turned on before you placed the gun on the closed toilet lid. Then you turned and closed the bathroom door behind you, sealing the two of you into a quiet bubble to hopefully give her time to calm down. 
JJ let out a harsh breath - a sound that was mostly a sob strangled inside of her chest. She ran her hands through her already wild hair, tears gathering in her eyes once again. She turned to face the wall and you instinctively reached out, running your hands gently across her shoulders. 
One of your hands stayed as a comforting grip on her upper arm and the other rubbed an open palm up and down her back. You hoped you could soothe her in some way. You truly hated how she quivered under your touch, how you could feel those sobs trapped inside of her lungs; the echoes of cries she refused to release because she felt that she needed to put up a strong front. 
“It’s so stupid.” JJ complained. 
Her voice was wet with the unreleased tears as she held her head in her hands, still facing away from you. Her long blonde hair easily created a curtain around her face so that couldn’t properly see her. 
“I grew up with dogs! I had dogs! I love dogs, I would never-” 
“It’s not your fault, Jay.” You pressed, using your affectionate nickname for her. “When people train animals to attack like that, there’s nothing you can do.” You leaned in, gently resting your cheek on her shoulder, assuring her that you were there before you whispered the next words. “You had to shoot them.” 
JJ let out a harsh whimper, clearly struggling even more now with holding back her sobs. You wanted to tell her that it would be okay to cry, but you knew that it would be useless. She was raised as the strong brick wall of a daughter in her family, and she was not used to showing weakness - especially not used to crying. 
“I should have stayed with Spencer.” She announced quietly. “I shouldn’t have let him go off without backup. I should have-” 
“Jay, that’s not your fault either.” You told her firmly, cutting off whatever self blaming rant she was about to go on. 
She muddled in a bitter silence, her arms shaking lightly as she rocked her head back and forth - shaking her head in the negative in response to what you had said. 
She had to believe it was her fault. If Spencer didn’t come back from this, her self blame would only be worse. 
“JJ, look at me.” You demanded gently. She didn’t move, and you reached over and put a hand on her wrist, attempting to pull her hands away from her face. “JJ, please look at me.” 
When your voice warbled out the plea, she finally wavered to your touch, and let you turn her around to face you. You caught a glimpse of the bright red stains soaked into the sleeve of her shirt, splattered up across her front, and you tried to ignore the sickly curl in your gut because of it. 
You had the urge to lift her bandaged forearm up and lay a few kisses on it, like you would have kissed a child’s scraped knee - more so for the emotional comfort than any possible health benefits. But you knew that would have been more for you than for her. 
So instead, you reached out, brushing past that tangled curtain of blonde to gently cup her face with both your hands. You handled her with an intensely delicate touch as you tilted her gaze up from the ground. 
A few tears had managed to escape, and you brushed them away with your thumbs. JJ sniffled quietly, sounding quite small and defeated as she did so. For the first time that night, she felt a slight calm wash over her as the comfort of your presence truly settled in. 
She was eternally grateful to have you there with her. She reached up and gripped onto your wrists, keeping you anchored there. She skimmed her thumbs along the top of your hands, enjoying the smooth feeling of your skin as you stared at her broken face - a tearful angel that made your heart ache for her. 
You were called by the higher purpose to worship that angel - to turn her pain into pleasure.
Before you could stop yourself, you found yourself drifting toward her, leaning in and planting your lips on hers. It certainly wasn’t the first time you had kissed JJ, but it most definitely wasn’t the most opportune. 
She easily returned the kiss, pressing her mouth into yours with a soft neediness. It was when she let out a small moan, the sound vibrating against your lips that you felt that sting of guilty panging at you once again. The fact that lustful heat and your grief for her were colliding so heavily inside of you made you feel like just as much of a monster as the man who had taken Reid and sicked dogs on her. 
You pulled away from the kiss sharply, putting only an inch of distance between the two of you, not letting go of her cheeks. She didn’t let go of the hold she had on your wrists either - you wanted to keep her assured of your presence because she did need the comfort during this hard time. 
“I’m sorry-” You gasped out an apology for kissing her so inappropriately, but JJ, ever the woman to know exactly what she wanted, didn’t let you finish. 
“Don’t apologize.” She ordered sharply. “I need you.” 
She kept her eyes closed, her brows tight with anguish as you gently laid your forehead against hers. 
You couldn’t help but to question it. 
“Now, Jay?” You asked quietly. “Right now?” 
“I need to forget.” She whispered, her words so timid that her breath barely ghosted your lips, even with you so close to her. 
Your heart ached at her tone, and when you didn’t reply or didn’t move to kiss her again, she continued. 
“Every time I close my eyes, I just see… I just see those eyes glowing in the dark. I just hear growling.” She admitted, a few more tears escaping that you rushed to thumb away. “I need to forget it. Please, help me forget.” 
“Anything for you, sweets.” You whispered, using another affectionate nickname for her. 
You leaned in for another kiss, firmer this time. 
You let your instincts take over then - all the lust you had been pushing down rushing to the surface and servicing you well. If she needed to forget, then you would certainly make her. You would make her feel so good that all she would be able to focus on would be the hot blood thrumming through her ears. The medicine that God intended. 
You pushed her up against the edge of the sink, keeping one hand on the side of her face and moving the other to her hip. You skimmed your fingers along that tempting strip of skin right above the waistband of her low-rise pants, causing her to shiver at the teasing touch touch. 
In a moment, your forceful dominance, the way you handled her easily had her moaning into your mouth again, much louder this time. You moved the hand on her cheek around to comb your fingers through her hair. You dug your knuckles in, setting a powerful grip at the base of her skull that held her exactly where you wanted her. It was a tender pain that had her gasping for you as you shoved your tongue past her lips, now on a very determined mission to fuck every last dreadful thought out of her head. 
Your fingertips continued to dance along the waistband of her pants, gently teasing her skin in a great contrast to the forceful movement of your lips. Every single movement was cleverly calculated to make her mind numb. Right down to the way you tugged at her hair and yanked on her bottom lip with your teeth as you pulled away from the kiss, leaving her panting wildly. 
Her eyes were closed much more gently this time, her eyelids fluttering lightly, and you hoped that you had already reduced those nightmarish visions to dust as she relaxed into your touch, buttery under your fingers as always. 
“Thank you,” JJ breathed out, her voice sweet as ever as you bit a path down her neck. You wanted to leave noticeable marks that would stand out among the scratches and bumps she had acquired that night. 
You truly didn’t care if anyone else on the team spotted one of those marks and knew what it was. You were paying tribute to her, leaving your own kind of thank you on her neck as you sucked the soft skin between your teeth. Your fingers finally found the button of her pants and easily popped it open blind, pulling the zipper down in a moment. Without a second of hesitation, you shoved your fingers past the barrier of her simple cotton underwear. 
With one last sharp bite, you moved your head back up from the crevice of her neck then, pressing your forehead against hers once again. You kept that tight grip on the back of her hair, a small hinge of pain that grounded her, that assured her you were there. 
Your fingers easily found her clit, and you made the bold choice to begin rubbing her without wetting your fingers first. You knew that it would be a pleasurable sting that would certainly push any other thoughts from her mind. 
“Oh, fuck, Y/N-” 
JJ gasped, arching her hips away from the edge of the sink to meet your touch, her lips falling open beautifully and her eyes still so gently fallen shut. She looked so fucking angelic like this. 
More tears kissed her lashes as you pressed harder on her clit, moving your fingers in hard, slow circles. You could assure yourself that these were tears from pleasure, not from anguish or pain. You had rewritten the stony hurt inside her muscles, rethreading the cords tight with the need for an orgasm where they were previously pulled tight with stress. 
“Please!” She begged so beautifully when she wanted to. 
It felt like its own unique reward to know that you were one of the only people that all powerful Jennifer Jareau ever begged to. 
You felt her becoming wetter around your fingers, flooding her underwear in response to your simple touches, and there was only one thing you wanted before you would make her cum. 
“Look at me.” You told her, the words quiet on your lips but so utterly full of confident power. 
JJ whimpered in response, not yet opening her eyes, and you stopped the movement of your hand altogether. She let out a very displeased sound and you began slowly pulling back, threatening to leave her hanging (which was a very empty threat in this context - not that she had to know that). It was something that immediately caused her eyes to shoot open as she reached out and grabbed your wrist, holding you in place. She canted her hips up, desperately trying to get your touch back where she needed you most. 
“Please,” She pleaded again, all hot breath and desperation - all for you. 
Staring into those blue eyes, lit with a desperate blaze of lust as she panted out humid breaths across your chin, you were only reminded of the fact that everything you did was for her. Everything in your life was a worship in her name, no act too small to dedicate to such a perfect Goddess. 
“Good girl.” 
You praised her, knowing it was exactly what she needed as you angled your fingers back between her wet folds. You gathered up that wetness, slicking up your fingers before you placed your determined touch right on her throbbing clit. This time, rather than being slow and calculated, you were quick and determined. You made speedy movements that you knew would draw her to the quick finish that would perfectly empty her mind. 
“Always so good for me, Jay.” 
“Thank you, oh! Oh, fuck!” 
She started singing your praises in her own way as your touches sped up, the sound of her wetness just barely muffled by the fabric of her pants and underwear, becoming delightfully sloppy under your fingers. With the way she was unconsciously canting her hips toward you, humping against your hand, you knew she was so close. 
You leaned in, and while looking her in the eyes the whole time, you bit down on her bottom lip and roughly pulled it out, letting the skin snap back in a rough possession of her as she panted and moaned the whole time. 
“Cum for me.” You demanded in a rough growl, finding yourself comparable to one of those rabid dogs. Though you were consuming her in a way that renewed her life, rather than trying to end it. “Cum for me, sweet girl.” 
“Fuck!” JJ cried out, an epic prayer as she spiraled into the all consuming pleasure of her orgasm. 
Though you wanted nothing more than to listen to those beautiful sounds, you had to silence her most pitiful orgasmic cries by clasping your lips over hers. You didn’t want the others hearing - you wanted to keep those sounds all to yourself. You muffled her noises with a tight suction of your mouth as you continued to work her right through the orgasm, keeping a tight grip on her hair the whole time to show her exactly who she belonged to. 
With the crucifix mounted on the bathroom wall, the knowledge of Hankle’s God staring right at you as you did all this - you couldn’t find an ounce of shame inside you. Not now. You could find no better way to honor God than to lovingly dedicate your life to the embodiment of his best work.
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az-cain · 2 years
Text
Bruised Thighs/Flowery Sheets
rhett abbott x reader ≈ 3300 words
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TUMBLR ATE THE ASK DAMMIT, i am so so sorry anon, but it said:
If you're taking requests...sub!Rhett needing help to clear out his mind after having a rough ride and he can't stop the self-doubt. Poor boy just needs to be fucked so good his brain stops functioning 😈
this is pure filth! i love it. so fun to write. thank you to @girl-in-the-chairs-void for encouraging me and my terrible thoughts lmao, i wouldn’t have picked it back up today were it not for you.
TW FOR: description of bruises and hard landings, mild angst, brief mention of shitty fathers and poor body image, food and a poor relationship with it (ice cream), mild dacryphilia (crying kink), spanking, oral sex m&f!receiving, anal fingering m!receiving, pegging, dumbification, pet names (honey, baby, good boy, sweetie, darlin’)
Rhett’s thighs always hurt after a ride. The bull’s bucking consistently left his legs black and blue, so he’d grown accustomed to the pain. What he hadn’t grown accustomed to, however, was the sting of his forearms smacking the dirt on a bad dismount. The gravel dug in even through the thick shirt he wore, and the disappointment pierced through his skin beside it. As he scrambled away from the raging bull and into the pen, he sighed heavily, wearily, looking at the time. Five seconds. He hadn’t even made it ¾ of where he needed to be.
As he passed by his father, who clapped him on the back with a lightly-disguised look of displeasure and murmured common words of reassurance, he struggled to smile gratefully. He’d had an off day, he knew that was all. It was only a qualifier, so he wasn’t out of the game. Still, the stinging anger that rested behind his eyes refused to subside until he saw you.
You had his red flannel unbuttoned across your chest and your sports bra exposed to the wind, the summer night heat beating down on the whole stadium. Your jean shorts were just long enough to be decent, and the smile you gave him was anything but. His worries melted away, now just residing in his mind as a quiet nagging voice.
“Hey, baby,” you grinned, wrapping your arms around him eagerly and letting him bury his sweaty forehead in your equally sweaty neck. “How are you feeling after that dismount?”
He pulled back and tried to smile, lips quivering slightly, but ultimately shook his head in resignation. “Not great.”
You rubbed up and down his upper arms, meeting his eyes with a sad smile. “I know. You want to go get ice cream?”
He nodded with a sniffle, feeling like a child. He knew, though, that you only wanted to cheer him up. So, as you led him to his truck and pulled his keys out of your pocket to unlock it, he straightened his back and tried to push his bad thoughts from his mind.
Did it work? Not entirely.
As you shifted into drive, he clicked his seatbelt into place and felt you set your hand on his knee. You rubbed comforting circles on the soft skin and hummed along to the pop song filtering through the stifling summer air, made more tolerable by the blasting A/C and the open windows. He was struck, silently, by how much he loved you, and it gave him pause. Your hand on his knee calmed him significantly, almost enough to make him stop thinking about his off day.
As you pulled into the Dairy Queen drive-thru, you moved your hand back to the steering wheel. “Same as always?”
“Yes, ma’am,” he smiled gently, so entirely enamored with you.
He listened to you order for the two of you, the crackling response that was nearly inaudible, and your loud “thank you.” As you waited in the drive-thru line, you cranked up the radio and plugged in the classic rock cassette he’d recorded for you, much to your amusement.
A number of sleazy songs played loudly across his cheap, 20-year-old speakers, and as you sang— or belted, rather— the lyrics, he couldn’t find it in him to care that the two of you were being the annoying drive-thru patrons everyone despised. The pencil you’d found to use as a microphone was dropped into the cupholder as you lowered the volume and met the teenager’s extended hand with a thank you, collecting the two cups of ice cream that you handed to him. He took small spoonfuls of the stuff as you drove home, the negative thoughts seeping back in in the form of body image. He wondered if he’d have gotten a better time today if he didn’t eat so much ice cream.
Of course, he knew that these thoughts were silly, so he did his best to put them out of his mind as you pulled into the driveway of your home and helped him out of the car, offering yourself as a brace for his bruised thighs and stinging forearms.
You entered the house together, settled on the dark couch and ate silently with one another, content to simply be in each others’ presence. When you’d both finished, you took his cup and ventured into the kitchen to throw both away before returning to your seat. At your gesture, he laid his head upon your thigh and let your hands come to rest in his hair. You sat there, running your fingers through his long hair for minutes, until you began to want more.
You tugged lightly on it, just testing the waters, and Rhett keened, whimpering through the muffling of his palm. “Please,” he whined quietly. A faint smile split your cheeks and you hummed, continuing to scratch his scalp like you’d never pulled on it. “Want you,” he continued, turning to meet your eyes and lifting his hips off of the soft couch to try and find friction against his jeans.
Chuckling softly at his neediness, you nodded. “Okay, honey. Let’s go to the bedroom.” With that, you patted his shoulder to make him move, and stood up behind him. When he moved slowly because of his sore thighs, you smacked his ass. A loud groan ripped through him— and through you— as you said “C’mon, baby.”
He started walking faster, your legs keeping easy pace, and made it into the bedroom quickly. He turned around and grabbed for you, pressing his lips to yours eagerly.
“Need you, please,” he whined again, to which you pressed your lips against his harder, biting at his bottom lip and swiping your tongue against his. His desperation only served to turn you on, lightning ripping through your lower abdomen.
You pressed one more harsh kiss against his lips before you squeezed his ass and commanded, “Strip.”
Ever obedient, he reached to tug off his tight t-shirt as you took a step backwards. He shed the rest of his clothes quickly, his boots slipping off of his feet with ease, jeans and boxers falling to the carpet with the quiet whoosh of denim against skin. You watched eagerly as his cock, red and swollen, smacked against his milky-white thigh; you listened as he whimpered from the small amount of contact. You felt yourself clench with excitement as his hand twitched towards it, but you met his eyes and shook your head solemnly. He pursed his lips, breathing heavily, and nodded quickly in return.
“Good boy,” you crooned, approaching him again. One of your fingers traced along the ridge of his cock, a hum breaking from your chest as he bucked against you with a cry. “Stay still for me, sweetie. I’ll give you what you need.”
“Yes, ma’am.” The words were quiet, but the obedience warranted some kind of reward; noting this, you kissed down his neck, to his torso, to his Adonis belt, to the base of his cock, all the while slipping to your knees before him.
His breathing sped up, bruised thighs clenching and unclenching as he struggled to stay still for you. “Good boy,” you said, kissing along the tops of his thighs gently, working ever closer with each kiss.
Finally, reaching the wiry hair at the top of his cock, you looked up to meet his eyes. His eyes were foggy, lust-addled and exhausted, but when he met yours, you saw them warm up slightly with adoration.
You held that eye contact as you kissed down his length, gently taking the tip into your mouth and suckling lightly. A wail broke from his lips as he doubled over, hands balling up into fists with concentration. “Please, please, oh god—” Rhett breathed the words quietly, just loud enough to be heard over your own breaths.
The resolve to be good for you made you moan around him, your thighs pressing together to find some sort of friction. Your mouth popped off of his tip with a pleased hum. “Use your words, baby.”
He struggled to meet your eyes, his pretty blues looking straight through you for a moment before you snapped your fingers to catch his attention. He focused in on you, just barely, and you raised your brows. “Words, darlin’.”
He nodded absentmindedly, trying to gather his thoughts. “Please, oh— please suck me off— or— or fuck me, please,” he stuttered out, breaths coming quickly as he tried to process what he was asking for.
You closed your hand around one of his ass cheeks, avoiding the tender bruises. In response, you got a broken moan and a few senseless words of thanks. “Good boy, thank you for telling me what you need. Let me take care of you, sweet thing.”
Finally, you opened your mouth and let his dick fall onto your tongue, drool sliding down the length of it. You used your spare hand to collect the moisture, stroking it from where it fell from your mouth to the base of his cock. He sobbed above you quietly, eyes still fogged when you look up. The wiry hair scratched at your hand as you held his base tightly, allowing yourself to take him into your throat carefully, but not wanting him to let go just yet. It was a struggle not to gag, as it always was, because his cock filled your throat with so pleasant an ache. Still pushing your thighs together, you shifted your weight slowly to try and find some relief against your clit, moaning harshly around him when you succeeded, punching a groan out of him at the vibrations.
The hand that remained on his ass started to squeeze again, working its way between his cheeks. You sunk your middle finger in, searching for his rim. Finding it rather quickly, you reveled in the loud, strangled noises he made as you circled it with some pressure. He begged and pleaded for more nearly incoherently. “Oh god, please, oh my god,” was most of what you pieced together. Not deigning to pull off of him to respond, tongue and mouth still working around him, you pushed those two fingers in gently, more harsh crows tearing from his chest.
Distantly, you mourned the fact that you wouldn’t get to take him down your throat entirely, needing to keep that hand there for his sake. But still, you were having your fun and getting off on just this, your spit dripping down his cock and onto your wrist, and the middle finger from your other hand teasing lightly around his most sensitive spot. He was sobbing above you, hands balled into fists as he approached the edge but couldn’t quite reach it.
Quiet whines, praises, and pleas left his throat, high-pitched and needy; putty in your hands. Your jaw had begun to ache rather quickly, the sheer girth of him making the fun short-lived. So, pulling back and standing up, you told him to get on the bed. You tore your own shirt and pants off of your body, needing your overheated skin exposed to the air.
Rhett had laid down face-up, just how you’d wanted. Walking up to him, you slipped a finger between your thighs to show him just how slick you were. You were positively aching: throbs of pleasure were radiating through your hips with every step you took, the sight of his cock twitching against him and the sound of his whimpers only exacerbating the issue.
When you reached the bed, you climbed up onto him to straddle his face, his eyes following your pussy eagerly. “Oh fuck,” he whined, hips canting off the bed with desire, before you wrapped a hand around the base of his cock again, He panted below you, breaths completely erratic as you settled down onto him. Your hand tangled in his hair, balancing you directly over his open mouth as you kept a tight clutch on his dick. Licking eagerly into you, Rhett pushed his hips down to try and keep from thrusting into your fist. As a reward and in order to satisfy that ache, you ground down against him. His nose caught your clit, and you groaned a guttural sound that sounded like you were being torn in two. Again, and again, his nose caught your clit, and you felt that tightness ratchet higher and higher within you. After one more good grind down against his open mouth, his tongue trying to work its way inside of you, you let go, collapsing forward as you let his cock go, one hand clutching tightly into his hair and the other against the headboard. Shocks wracked your body, moans leaving your mouth entangled with expletives in a stream. You sat atop him for a few more moments, still clenching lightly as you tried to gather yourself.
When you finally felt that you’d recovered, you dismounted his face with one more grind and strutted to the bathroom to get the strap-on, sure to sway your hips for the boy watching. You pulled it and the lube from the cabinet you kept it in and rinsed it thoroughly, removing any dust that may have settled since you last used it— purely a precaution, but you were nothing if not thorough. Having shook most of the water off and slid the harness and vibrating dildo on, you shut the bathroom light off and emerged to find Rhett face-down on the bed, knees spread below him and hands clutching the sheets beside his head.
“Oh, darlin’, you’re so smart. Just what I wanted to see,” you crooned, one hand coming up to smack the unbruised part of his ass as you approached the bed. He rocked forward with the impact, arching his back towards you as he cried out.
You popped the cap of your water-based lube and slicked your fingers, warming them up for a moment before tracing circles around his asshole and slipping two fingers into him. With a loud moan, he pressed back against you, ignoring your command to stay still for the first time that night.
Smacking him lightly again, you scoffed lightheartedly. “Already fucked stupid? Stay still, baby.”
He nodded, sobbing muffled apologies into his pillowcase as you worked another finger in. Taking his sobs as a good enough apology, you grabbed for the base of him again and pressed gently at his prostate. He wailed into the pillowcase, his head flying back and forth as he struggled to keep still for you.
When you pulled your fingers back, he settled down a little, just enough to catch his breath. Moving up enough to level your hips with his, you smiled down at the sight of his farmer’s tan-striped back arched against your flowery sheets, the perfect composition of beauty, before you pressed the head of the silicone cock into his ass.
Slipping past his rim, you continued to slide in slowly, letting him adjust to the width of the toy splitting him. You didn’t use this one often, usually opting for the thinner pink one, but you really wanted to fuck the brains out of him tonight. It seemed that this toy was the right choice for that objective, because he was babbling mindlessly into the pillow, drool seeping from the corner of his mouth.
With a smile, you pulled your hips back, then slammed into him with all of your might, sure to angle your hips down. He screamed into the pillow, hands fisting the sheets as he let go, streaks of come spurting onto the bed as he shook like a leaf. “Fuck!” You heard, the first intelligible word you’d gotten in minutes. He rocked back against you and continued his babbling, still recovering from his last orgasm but wanting more.
With a smile, you continued to rock into him slowly, stroking up and down his back with a nail for a few minutes to allow him to recover. When his breathing seemed to return to a steady pace and his hands had returned to an open position, you reached down to flip on the vibrator, the harness resting against your clit perfectly.
He jumped at the sudden change, but quickly melted again with a moan when he realized what happened. “Oh my god…” he sighed, hands balling into fists once more. You rocked into him slowly, testing the waters, before slamming your hips against his ass and setting a grueling pace.
The vibrator allowed you to find pleasure, steadily building both of you up as you whispered praises to the cowboy underneath your hands. You ran your palms along his ass, squeezing occasionally to get a garbled moan out of him.
Angling your hips down, you set yourself to getting him off at the same time as you, because you felt yourself rapidly approaching that peak. “C’mon, baby, I know you can do it,” you murmured half to yourself and half to him as you nailed his prostate. He rubbed his face into the pillow at the thrusts, trying desperately to muffle his desperate sounds.
You leaned back and wrapped your hand tightly around his cock, throbs resonating through your hips as you tried to hold on. Just as you were about to give up and let go, he wailed into the pillow and thrust his hips into your palm, hot, sticky ropes of come falling onto the bed. Content, you thrust into him one more time to rub your clit harshly along that bump in your harness, letting go with a cry of your own and grinding your hips against his as you rode it out. The waves died down, your walls still clenching lightly as you pulled off of him and discarded your harness in the bathroom sink. You grabbed a towel and ran warm water over it and wiped yourself down before repeating the process and bringing the cloth to the bedroom.
He murmured your name, reaching back to stroke your hair when you bent over his back to kiss his neck. “Roll over, baby,” you murmured against his skin. With a groan, he obeyed you, his eyes cracking open to meet your own.
You tenderly wiped his thighs and ass, wary of his hiss of discomfort, meeting his eyes again and only continuing at his nod. You folded the cloth to swipe quickly at his sweaty armpits and chest before you tugged him out of the bed, throwing the blankets (that had luckily been at the foot of the bed) to the floor, stripping the sheets, and removing the bed cover. You turned to tread to the linen closet to grab the extra sheets, turning over your shoulder to see him behind you, butt-naked and tired, coming to help you.
You waited for him to catch up and pressed a kiss to his shoulder, continuing to walk to the closet and collecting the sheets. After you’d returned to the bedroom, you struggled to put the fitted sheet on together, threw the flat sheet on top, and reassembled your bed set.
Utterly tired, you collapsed into bed together, your head lying on his chest and feet curled behind you. You turned to press a kiss to his bare chest, eyes closed, and whispered against his skin, “I love you, Rhett.”
He pressed a big, scar-mottled, and calloused hand to your hair and bent to kiss your head: you felt the rumble in his own chest and the swell in your own when he opened his mouth and got nothing coherent out, his “I love you too” sounding more like an “Aluh’y’t…”
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kikufuku01 · 1 year
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I Love You, Always
Sukuna x Reader
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Part 15 Sakura ♡ ♡ ♡ Part 16 Bali series m. list
Reblogs, likes and comments are appreciated!
Warnings: Some angst, mostly fluff (?), smut, shotgun kissing, alcohol intake, car sex, oral (male receiving).
A/N: I don't know if you guys realized but I made Sukuna taller than his canon height lmao. He's around 6-6'2ft in here lmao. Also, I'm not very great at smut and fluff, I'm seriously the best at angst lmao. Just remember, this story will have mature themes, heavy angst etc. as the story progresses. Thank you for reading~
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The air feels nice and cool against you as you wander around the empty train tracks. It’s past midnight and he’s managed to coerce you into sneaking out of the house. You balance yourself on the rails while Sukuna walks beside you on the rocks.
“I need to stop listening to you, Sukuna. You’ll get me in trouble one of these days.”
Though you say this, there’s a smile perched on your pretty lips. He stops walking and motions with his hands in big movements, “it’s worth it though. Look,” he spins around slowly, making the rocks crunch beneath him and smiles when his eyes land on yours again, “we have this place all to ourselves. It’s dark out and there’s no one but us.”
Ah, there goes the fluttering in your stomach again. Even when you’re standing on the tracks, Sukuna stands taller than you; and there’s a softness in his expression and body language towards you. When you first met him, he was tense and guarded, as were you. When did you both let your guard down? For some reason, you can’t pinpoint the exact moment. You choose to capture this moment in your memory forever and lock it in your heart, because it’s something only you can see.
You place your hands on his chest and sway side to side. “You should smile more; it suits you.”
Sukuna’s smile drops almost immediately and he clears his throat while turning away from you, “smiling is the biggest jinx. I don’t want to.”
You giggle at his shyness and gently slap his chest, “come on~ smile! Show me those pearly whites.”
He reluctantly turns back to you and flashes you a petty smile, “happy?”
“I am.”
He scoffs at you but takes your hand in his and leads the rest of the way down the tracks. Conversations upon conversations pile up into the night and the sound of your loud laughs can be heard through the echo of night but neither of you care. Sukuna makes you smile. He makes you feel as if there’s no one else in the world except you two, but deep down, you’re still drowning in guilt.
For all you know, those who used to be your friends are probably talking behind your back and making stories. They could be saying all sorts of things about you and you wouldn’t even know for sure until word got back to you. No one answers you back. When you ask to hang out, you’re left on delivered or read. The only person who still texts you from time to time is Kazuya. He gives you words of encouragement and tells you it’s not your fault and to just enjoy what you have but it’s still a bit hard. You know what you’re doing with Sukuna isn’t fully appropriate, but it’s hard to stop as well.
Sukuna’s throat bobs up and down when he realizes you’re not paying attention anymore. It’s really easy to read you, actually. He knows what you’re thinking and part of him just wants to tell you to stop overthinking it because it already happened and now it’s in the past. It’s time for you to stop feeling sorry towards Kaede.
He lets your hand go, steps in front of you and then spins around to face you while walking backwards. You stare at him with wide eyes and watch how the subtle wind blows his hair back and reveals a part of his forehead. Jeez, this dude is so charming in the face.
“Let’s play a game.”
This piques your interest, so you listen in, “what kind?”
He holds a finger out and chuckles cockily, “let’s list things we like about each other.”
“I don’t wanna play.” You shoot the idea down and hop off the tracks to go around him but he spins around and grabs your wrist to stop you. You frown, “what?”
Sukuna’s eyes dart around on your facial features as he ponders. “You don’t have to say anything, y/n. Just listen to me.”
Even though Sukuna likes to come off as a hard guy, you can sense the desperation in his voice. It’s not enough to make you feel bad, but it comes off as him wanting to reassure you, so you nod.
“I like the way you get mad easily,” he starts off, “I like the way you make deals with me.” Sukuna gently tugs your wrist towards him and pulls you into his warm embrace. He rests his chin on top of your head, “I like how you always make me chase you.”
This makes you giggle into his chest and you close your eyes as you take in his citrusy scent. He still smells like cigarettes from time to time, but today he doesn’t. You wrap your arms around his torso as well and continue to listen.
“The truth is…” Sukuna’s voice stalls for a bit, “you’re annoying and bipolar.” And before you can break the hug and argue with him, he places a kiss on top of your head and laughs, “I also like that about you.” Then he pulls back enough to stare at your pretty face again, “but truthfully, y/n, I like the way you smile just for me.”
Sukuna doesn’t know if your cheeks and nose are red from his words or if they’re red from the slight breeze, but it makes his heart flutter anyway. He leans down and boops your nose with his, “your smiling face is what I like the most.”
Ah shit… he’s got you wrapped around his fucking fingers, that asshole. But there you go doubting again. Even though your heart is leaping and doing somersaults at his sweet words, you push yourself off of him and laugh awkwardly. It’s stupid right? You’ve kissed, fucked, done it all and yet you cross the line at a small confession.
“I don’t know…” You’re already walking off without him as you speak. “Are you sure you don’t like me for my body? That seems more plausible.”
Okay, that irritates the fuck out of Sukuna, but he’ll keep his cool because he doesn’t want to ruin the night. He didn’t know you’d react like this. He catches up to you and shoves his hands in his pockets while his shoulders hunch inwards, a subconscious act of him putting up a small barrier. Neither of you seem to realize it.
He looks straight ahead at the dark abyss. “Didn’t I tell you already? I like you.” His tone is a little grumpier now as he speaks, “why are you so stubborn?”
“I said I liked you… but maybe now isn’t the right time.” Your lips purse, “and maybe we shouldn’t do it so much. It makes me feel horrible.”
Sukuna laughs, “lying straight through those teeth of yours, I see.” He looks at you through his peripheral vision, “right in my face, too. Oh, the audacity.”
Even though he’s slightly annoyed with you, he’s back to smiling sweetly, “look, y/n,” he sighs, “Kaede had a small crush on me. She confessed and I rejected her. I get that you feel bad for her but it’s time to let that shit go. Besides…” He frowns, “she turned everyone against you.”
“Because I wronged her in many aspects, Sukuna.”
“And look at us, still having sex and making out.”
“Then maybe we should stop until…” You shut yourself up, unable to finish the sentence. You’re selfish and you know it. Sukuna was right. The audacity you have is horrendous.
Sukuna is quiet as well. Did you want to stop, then? All of this just to go back to stage one, smh. His jaw clenches, but he shoves aside his own feelings and gives your head an affectionate pat, “let’s go home, doll. We can talk about it another day.”
♡ ♡ ♡
Can someone just smack you? It seems like you always ruin the freaking moment and it’s frustrating. Would it be better if you just forgot it all?
The walk back is silent and now he’s in front of your house, getting ready to help you climb over the heavy ass gate. You’re just standing there, so Sukuna straightens up.
“What?”
You can’t look at him. You feel too bad. You fiddle with your nails, “I just wanted to apologize to you.”
Sukuna cocks his head to the side with an amused smirk, “for what?” He just finds you so adorable at times.
“For what I said earlier tonight.” Your head is still hanging down, “didn’t I make you uncomfortable?”
He steps closer to you and hums, “hmm, not at all. Why would you think that?”
You can see his shoes in front of you, so you slowly raise your head. No one likes to apologize because it’s ego crushing to do so, but you don’t like to fight with Sukuna. You’ve done it before and it wasn’t great. It made you feel empty and all sorts of other things…
“Just because,” you say quietly. “You didn’t look too happy about what I said.”
He can’t stay mad at you. Not when you’re all sulky and cute. He brings his face closer to yours and gives the tip of your nose a soft peck, “I don’t know how I looked earlier, but don’t take it the wrong way.” Sukuna’s eyes soften up at you, “I don’t mind at all.”
Oh, thank god. Now you can breathe! You shut your eyes and fall into his warmth, “that’s a relief to hear, then.”
He peppers your face with a bunch of tiny kisses before chuckling, “even if you blow me off a thousand times, I won’t get angry.”
How could he still think this way after you’ve given him mixed signals for months? You push your face into his chest and rub side to side. “What do you plan to do with me, Sukuna?”
“Still thinking,” he entertains.
Here comes the greed inside of you. It fights against your guilt and mindlessly, you hug him tighter. “Do you plan to love me?”
You’re hot and cold. Bipolar and indecisive.
Sukuna has always believed that he was a man unworthy of love. How could someone like him ever get to experience it? He thought love was stupid. The word was made up for delusional people, it had to be. But, he’s so smitten with you that maybe it’s possible. For now, he’s smitten… Yeah. He’s not sure if he loves you, but maybe he could learn to. All he knows is that you’re not there either. He sucks in a breath, “did you want me to? Once I start with you, I won’t be able to stop.”
Is this where you end your friendship with Sukuna and start something new? You haven’t spoken to Kaede, so you don’t know why she still haunts your mind. You don’t know why she makes you feel so guilty. Perhaps it’s just all in your mind. Maybe you are overthinking. Your heart wants to leap at Sukuna every time you see him. You want to kiss him comfortably without having to look over your shoulder. You want it all.
Sukuna releases you and gives you one more chance to back out. His face is serious. “Ichihara y/n, you can’t be friends with someone you were in love with. You just can’t. If you don’t think this will work out in the long run, then tell me now.”
You don’t know this, but if you choose to run away from Sukuna, this will be the last you’ll see of him. He won’t even say a word to you. He’ll just leave your world.
“I’d like to start something new with you someday, when we’re both ready, ” your voice is barely audible, “if that’s what you want.”
It’s a good enough answer for him, so he nods and pushes you towards the gate, “no rush.”
Once you’re halfway over, you look down. “Are you staying over tonight?”
“Not today. I kind of miss my own bed.” Sukuna yawns and then waves for you to go, “goodnight, y/n.”
“Goodnight.”
♡ ♡ ♡
He stopped texting you after he let you know that he got home safe. It doesn’t bother you since he looked pretty tired earlier, but you can’t fall asleep. Ah, that’s right. He never collected his clothes. Is he leaving them here on purpose? Feeling bored, you hop off the bed and walk to your dresser. You take his pants out and unfold them.
“Damn, they’re big.”
Just out of curiosity, you take your pants off and step into his. They’re oversized on you, but it’s a cute look! There’s a small smile playing on your lips as you sway side to side, admiring yourself in the mirror, but the sound of soft plastic wrinkling can be heard. Where is it coming from? His pants? You pat down on his front pockets and don’t feel anything in particular, so you reach inside instead.
The right pocket is empty, but the left contains what feels like a small bag. What could it be? You pull it out and frown at the sight. There are two full colored rectangle pills and a broken one in the bag. These aren’t ordinary pills like ibuprofen… you know that much. Could it be? Is he a drug dealer? Is that why he said he was a bad person? Sure, it’s illegal, but that doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person, right? Right???
You really want to call him and ask about it, but maybe he doesn’t have to know that you know. A part of you is afraid that he’ll disappear from you if he knew you found out, so you want to be greedy and stay quiet about it. And the reason why you’re doubting that he takes these kinds of things is because you’re always with him. He is always conscious. Always aware. The most you’ve seen him do is smoke weed, but you’ve never come to the conclusion that he was drugged out on ecstasy. Oh, and you’re with him all the time, so there wouldn’t be a time for him to even do all of these things. Well, of course, there are those nights when he doesn’t hang out with you because he wants to go to work, but he’s a bartender… There's no way he’s doing these things.
With shaking hands, you place the pills back where you got it and take his pants off. You’re surprised they survived the wash, but they were sealed in a bag, so it’s plausible. You’ll admit that a part of you feels heavy after finding these, but you just hope he isn’t on these drugs. If you’re going to date him later in life, you’ll have to introduce him to your parents and you already know how much they’ll judge him, so you hope he is sober. Obviously, they wouldn’t go to such lengths to get him tested to see if he was in the clear, but they’d judge him on appearance, which is annoying.
“What am I going to do…”
You sink onto the bed and curl up into a ball. Millions of thoughts fill your head while doubt starts to surface. Now that you think about it, you really don’t know Sukuna at all. Even after all of this. He barely opens up to you, hardly lets you in. You know that his parents have money, but what exactly do they do? Why doesn’t Sukuna ever tell you anything? You’ve seen him in his vulnerable state on rare occasions, but even then, it's hard to tell what he’s thinking. If you brought this up, would he run? Half of you argues that he’d stay, because he’s shown you his softer side but… the other half argues that he’d leave due to you knowing too much.
♡ ♡ ♡
“Y/n, it’s time to get up.”
You wake to the sound of your mom’s voice. She’s standing right outside your door, but she walks off when your dad mumbles something to her. You’d question what they’re discussing, but it doesn’t really intrigue you. You choose to get ready for the day instead since you’ll most likely be hanging with Sukuna again.
“Y/n.”
You glance up from your phone to stare at your mom. She’s got this look in her eye, and you don’t like it. It makes you feel uneasy. Still, you manage to smile just fine and raise your brows, “yes?”
Your mom brushes her hair behind her ears and leans over the table to stare at you a bit better. “You’ve been on your phone a lot lately.”
Ah, here she goes again. You lay your phone down and tap the table impatiently, “I’m always on my phone. Is that a problem?”
“Of course, it’s not.” Your dad speaks up and picks up his mug, “but well…” He glances at your mom nervously and continues, “it’s just that we have some news to deliver.”
Your mouth hangs open because what kind of news are they delivering? Why are they acting so serious? You lean towards them as well and stare at them with seriousness. “What is it? Please don’t tell me that you’re pregnant…”
“What?”
Your mom starts to choke on her spit and begins to pound at her own chest while your dad hurriedly pats her back to help. When she’s calmed down, she laughs loudly and shakes her head, “no, y/n. It’s not that, but your father has won a raffle of work and was rewarded with a vacation.”
“Oh, that’s it? Why were you acting all serious then?” You exhale dramatically and playfully wipe the fake sweat off of your forehead, “ya had me nervous there.”
Your father laughs at your silliness but nods, “yes, I won a fully paid vacation, actually. It’s in Bali and the resort offers a two bedroom, two bath suite for us. We even have a private balcony as well.”
Well I guess it’s a good thing they gave you a heads up? But gosh, why were they so weird about it? You shrug your shoulders and give a light clap, “congrats on your vacation. Have fun~”
“Oh, well, you’re coming with us, sweetheart.” Your mom quickly adds, holding her hand out towards you so you don’t leave too fast. “He won a couples vacation, so the both of us are paid for, but we’re bringing you along, no fighting it.”
“There’s really no need for me to impose, really.” You get up from the table and gather your plate, “but you two deserve a vacation, so have fun.”
Annoyingly, your mom follows you into the kitchen. She crosses her arms and sighs at you, “you’re coming along with us. It’s two bedrooms and two baths, you’ll have your own little privacy, y/n.”
“Yeah, but I’m fine staying home alone here.”
“Not happening. I’ll become paranoid with you here all by yourself.”
“I’m an adult, mom.”
“A young adult,” she corrects. “I cannot have you here by yourself for three days, sweetheart. Like I said, no fighting against it.”
“But-”
“Your father already paid for your roundtrip ticket, y/n. Have your things packed by Friday. Our flight leaves around seven in the morning.” She turns the faucet on to start doing dishes but continues to talk, “the reason why I commented about you being on your phone was for this reason. We’ll be on vacation, so make sure not to be on your phone for too long.”
You won’t lie, you’re a bit excited about going to Bali but that means no Sukuna for a while… and also, you’re stuck hanging out with your parents. Your lips curve into a frown, “so you mean to say I’ll be stuck by your side from day to night?”
She chuckles at you, “not necessarily, but I’d appreciate it if you tried to stay close by. If not that, then if you’d at least feast with us each of the days.”
“Okie dokie.”
Right after you say that, you hear your phone ding and jog towards it. Oh, would you look at that. It’s Sukuna. He’s waiting for you around the corner, so you clean up the rest of the table and then say a short ‘bye’ to both parents.
Sukuna rolls the windows down and whistles at you, “ayo, lemme holla for a dolla!”
“You’re so stupid,” you laugh and place your hands on your hips, “you’re driving today? Do you even have a license?”
“Nope.”
Well at least he’s honest. You roll your eyes at him but get in anyway, “who’s car?”
“Who else? It belongs to me.”
There’s a pause in your laugh so you can deadpan at him, “you have a car yet no license. Should I even trust being in here with you?”
Sukuna leans over to give you a quick kiss, “I made it safely, didn’t I? Besides, I got a few driving lessons from Yuuma in my adolescent days.”
“Please shut up…”
Sukuna is driving pretty okay. And it’s actually nice, driving around the city with no true destination. Well, at first you were driving around aimlessly until Sukuna decided on a location. The traffic fucking sucks ass though. Usually, the traffic from Tokyo to Shinjuku wouldn’t be too bad since it’s barely a 7-10 minute drive, but today it is, so while the light is red, Sukuna leans his head back against the headrest and lazily turns to look at you. He thinks you’re beautiful, even with all your natural attributes.
He licks his licks and pushes himself off the seat to lean over. He grabs the back of your head with one hand and leans in slowly. “I’m bored,” he whispers, “kiss me for entertainment.”
Heat rushes to your cheeks at his bold statement but you lean in anyway. His kisses are so gentle yet they radiate the complete opposite. The sounds are lewd in your ears but he’s kissing you so lovingly. There aren’t any tricks in the way he is kissing, and his tongue barely passes your lips, only enough to pull you in. It’s a great way to kill time while the lights are red but the poor people around you with wandering eyes are sure to be disturbed by such an intimate act. Given it’s not exactly your fault if they see, but still. You blush harder at the fact that there might be wandering eyes and you’re sure that Sukuna can sense it based on the way he smiles against your lips.
He pulls away and then leans back in to place one more kiss on your lips. “What?”
“What if people saw?” Your voice is small and timid while your cheeks glow.
Sukuna looks around and into the other cars without a care. He does happen to make eye contact with a male and smirks in return, “it’s not our problem if they see, doll.”
He pulls you in for another passionate kiss and he continues to do so at every red light. You’re not sure if he’s trying to punish you or something, but it turns you on a lot. You’re just too shy to admit it. He finally parks in a public space and ushers for you to follow after.
“This is where you chose?”
Sukuna hums, “yep, Shinjuku. We’re gonna ditch the car here for a while and explore on foot.”
He locks the car and holds his hand out to you. It’s a silent way of him asking to hold your hand, so you place your hand in his and intertwine your fingers. You like the way he emits natural heat, it makes you feel safe. With time being the beginning of April, there are a ton of blossom trees in the area, so the petals fall like snowfall. There are also lots of people here, so human traffic is unavoidable.
“Wow, you totally match the scene.” You pick a fallen petal from Sukuna’s cheekbone and blow it off your fingers with a small grin.
“Quit it,” Sukuna grumbles as he dusts the rest off of him.
While he does so, your eyes catch a glimpse of the chain around his neck and your heart suddenly feels a light pinch. You lean in towards his chest and kiss the center, a smile making its way to your face when you feel the pendant beneath the fabric. The action surprises Sukuna because he stumbles back from you with pink tinted ears and slightly raised eyebrows. He chortles at you, “are you tempting me in broad daylight?”
“I would never,” you say with a mischievous grin. “I just feel a bit happier today after seeing that on you.”
Sukuna holds his hand out towards you and waits for your hand. “I’ll never take it off again.”
After you lock fingers with him again, you pout and feign annoyance, “yeah, right.”
“Should I get down on my knees and vow my life to you, then?”
“No!” You give his hand a light squeeze and walk forward with him, “people will think you’re proposing. That, or they’ll think I’m being a bitch to you.”
“Well then.”
Sukuna begins to slowly drop as he walks with you and you panic, quickly pulling him back up. “Stop, Sukuna.”
He laughs wholeheartedly with you and nods, “okay, okay. I’m just playing with you.”
So many eyes, so many cameras. The crowd is filled with locals and tourists who are all trying to capture Japan’s beauty. Oh, and of course, there are plenty of vendors that sell sakura souvenirs and a few food vendors as well. Since there are so many people, Sukuna pulls you closer to him and makes sure to hold your hand tighter.
“Do any of these interest you?”
Your eyes catch sight of the various little sakura trinkets and even though it’s cute, you don’t think it’s something you need. It doesn’t hurt to look though, right? Your hand never leaves his, but you continue to drag him around, “I’m just looking.”
He thinks it’s funny that he brought you here, yet you’re the one leading the way. And maybe he’s being possessive or something because he swears he sees men looking at you from time to time. And you can go ahead and call him crazy, he’ll accept it. Obviously, there will be wandering eyes as this is a public space with lots to see, so naturally some eyes will fall on you here and there, but it lowkey irks his soul (if he even has one). Sukuna makes sure to glare at those who stare for too long though. How dare they keep staring at your beauty when you’re obviously here with someone. Gosh, if you weren’t such a scaredy-cat-goody-two-shoes he’d walk up to them and confront them. Shit, if you’d let, he’d drag you up with him and stick his tongue down your throat so they can see that you’re not here alone. Initially, he’d just fuck them up til his knuckles were raw, but he’s not trying to go to jail right now. Not when he has you, so yeah, shoving his tongue down your throat sounds more ideal.
And fuck. Now he’s got a fucking boner in public. Feeling uncomfortably tight, he doesn’t want to move, but you just keep dragging him around, bumping him into all of these strangers. He yanks you back, causing your back to crash into him. “Don’t walk off too far without me.”
Your eyebrows pull down at him and you speak over the crowd. “But we’re holding hands, what does it matter?”
“I’ve got a boner right now. Wanna find a private space?”
It’s a half joke lol. Sukuna already knows what your answer is, but he finds your reactions interesting because you’re genuinely annoyed this time, even with a light smile.
“Oh my god, you’re insatiable. I’m not helping with that, but we can ditch this place really quick and look for a bathroom if you need to relieve yourself.”
Sukuna laughs out loud at your expression and shakes his head, “nah, it’s only half hard. I’ll live, I guess.” He eyes the dango stall and drags you there, barely apologizing to the people he bumps into in the process.
“These look good,” he sighs.
“You eat more than you did when I first met you.” You say this more to yourself, but Sukuna hears it anyway.
“Eating isn’t as satisfying as smoking, but it does the job… somewhat.”
Oh? Is he stressed? Was he serious about the boner??? You don’t say anything else but stick close to Sukuna as you wait in line. When it’s your turn, he orders you each hanami dango. “Mmm~” you sing out as you take a bite. It’s soft and chewy with the perfect amount of sweetness. Sukuna is already on the second ball on the skewer, but just to be an ass, he swallows and leans down with an open mouth, waiting to be fed.
You laugh at his childish behavior but comply, pushing your own into his mouth. If you weren’t in public, you would’ve shoved the whole thing in until it hit the back of his throat (like you did with the popsicle that one time) but you’re not trying to die right now. “You always call me a pig. Are you sure it’s not you?”
Sukuna chews with his eyes closed and a small smile, “I am one, after you.”
“Whatever~”
The next item you purchase is sakura mochi. It’s sweet and salty, the perfect amount of savory. If you’re being honest, you prefer this over the hanami dango. You think Sukuna prefers it, too. Or he’s a follower. You rub your stomach and let out a soft burp, “that was good. Kinda thirsty though, right?”
“Hmm,” Sukuna looks around but most of the vendors sell sakura themed drinks or tea, and he’s not really feeling either of those, so he drags you to a vending machine (one he finds easily, thanks to his height). He buys a bottle of water to help wash everything down and lets you drink first, “here.”
After a while of walking around, you stretch and yawn. “We should’ve packed a blanket, so we could lay down like everyone else.”
He shrugs, “well I didn’t think we’d actually do much today.”
Aw, he’s so cute. You cuddle into him and look up with big eyes, “it’s okay~ Let’s ditch the car here and wander around more. We can go to a shopping center to kill time and then maybe explore Kabukicho?”
Sukuna frowns at you. “You want me to take you to the red-light district?”
“What? I’ll be with you the whole time, so it’s not like anything will really happen.” Your voice has toned down on octave in case you might’ve upset him.
He chews on the inside of his cheek for a bit before sighing. “Then you’ll absolutely have to stay by my side, alright? It’s dangerous for people like you., even if there are a lot of people around.”
This makes you laugh at him, “for people like me? And what about you? I know you look tough, but the danger applies to you too.”
“Y/n.”
He’s very serious, oddly so. This makes you shut up and nod silently.
♡ ♡ ♡
You end up in Don Quijote, spending the rest of the day going from place to place, store to store and playing with each other. By the time you’re done messing around, the sun is already beginning to set, so Sukuna grabs your hand again and groans. “I’m hungry. You?”
“I could eat.”
The wait time for Torikizoku is about half an hour, but talking to Sukuna makes time pass by faster. Before you know it, you’re being led to your table and Sukuna may have bribed the waiter with a lot of money… yeah, a super disrespectful thing to do, but the waiter accepted anyways and turned a blind eye to your age. Well, you’re not that far off from the legal drinking age, you’re just a year short.
You’ll admit that the skewers are pretty damn good and the drinks complement the flavors even better. Now you understand why some people pair alcohol with certain foods. The most you have today is beer, while Sukuna sticks to one shot, since he has to be responsible and drive later. But the more he stares at how you get to enjoy the mix of food and beer, the more envious he becomes. So, while his mouth salivates at the mixture, he thinks to himself that he can just ditch the car and come back for it tomorrow. Surely Satoru wouldn’t mind picking you two up. He doesn’t want to bother Yuuma right now, so.
Sukuna reaches over and drinks the beer from your cup, hissing after the taste settles on his taste buds. You’re wide eyed, “Sukuna, you have to drive.”
He scoffs, “I’m rich.”
“So?”
“So I’ll have someone get us if I can’t sober up later. Most we’ll be is buzzed, promise.”
Even though you click your tongue at him, you stupidly allow him to sip from your cup as well. After dinner is done, you both walk to Kabukicho. Thankfully you’re alright, since you drank with a meal. The night is young and bustling, full of life and party goers. Even though Sukuna’s hold on you is firm, he tries to loosen it just a bit so you won’t feel too suffocated.
You smile in general and excitedly look up at Sukuna, “let’s take pictures.”
“Why?”
Ah, here he is, the Sukuna you know. It’s just like before, when you first started hanging out. He’d always oppose, bitch and complain when you wanted to take a picture, but he’d always give in in the end. You sway a bit to persuade him. “Come on~ Just a few.”
Sukuna knows he’ll give in, but he wants to tease you a bit longer. He sticks his nose up and high and frowns, “why should I? It’s not like you’ll post it.”
That’s true. You’re still a bit scared to post him, but come on, dude. You gently slap at his chest, “it’ll just be for our eyes. Please?”
After staying silent for a few seconds too long, he huffs out a sigh and smirks at you, “fine. Just a few.”
That stupid little smile of yours flashes at him and he can’t help but let out a small laugh. You drag him to an area with a little less human traffic and find a nice spot. On que, Sukuna stands behind you and hunches over a bit so his face leans against the side of your head. The first few photos you take are serious ones, and then the next few you’re the only one smiling. You glare at him jokingly through the screen, “smile, Sukuna.”
“You think you’re the boss of me?”
Even though he says this, he smiles widely for the camera and even goes as far as to kiss the side of your head for one of them. It’s a cute moment because it completely catches you off guard, so in the next photo, your cheeks are burning pink.
Sukuna smiles and lets out a knowing laugh. “You’re blushing~”
You put your phone away and spin back around to face him, “it’s the beer.”
“Sure it is.”
He drags you forward and sling his arm around your shoulders, tucking you away under him from prying eyes. As you guys continue to walk down, people approach and try to lure you into the nightclubs and other businesses but Sukuna quickly turns them down. You wouldn’t mind going in, but Sukuna seems a bit on edge about it, so you just stay quiet and give a short apology each time. He does bring you into the little shops though and lets you look around.
“If you’re not gonna hold my hand the whole time, then stay where I can see you.”
You’re not sure if it’s a threat… Either way, you nod. “Jeez, it’s not like I’ll get swooped up, Sukuna.”
His lips twitch, “it’s actually pretty easy to kidnap someone, even with a crowd of people, y/n. So listen to me.”
Gosh, what’s he so worried about? When you’re done looking around, he takes your hand in his once again and you enter the sea of people. Sukuna points up to get your attention. “Look, you see Godzilla’s head up there?”
Godzilla?? You follow his finger and laugh at how random it is. Just then, a woman runs up to Sukuna and stops you guys in the middle of the crowd. Her hair is strawberry blonde, styled half up and she’s wearing an outfit that accentuates her curves. The keypoint of the outfit is the cutout on her chest, revealing her nice cleavage.
“Hello, how are you today?” Her voice is very pleasing to the ears, that’s for sure.
Sukuna juts out his lips at her and furrows his brows, “I’m not interested.”
When he tries to drag you forward, the woman steps in front of him again with her hands up towards her chest. “Oh, please wait a second! Would you be interested in coming into this place? I promise the drinks are delicious! You won’t regret it.”
Not once has she made eye contact with you… until now. She smiles in an apologetic way towards you, and you completely understand why. The woman is just trying to do her job, luring drunkards in to spend more and more money etc.
Sukuna smiles down at her in a charming way and shakes his head, “no, thank you. I’ve got the best entertainment right here and I don’t even need to pay.”
He earns a hard pinch from you, causing him to wince and hiss. When he sends you a death glare, you widen your eyes and act oblivious. The woman laughs shyly at him and nods, “okay then. Have a great rest of your night.”
Honestly, you’re walking in no actual direction, just following the crowd. Eventually you stumble into Golden Gai. It has more of a nostalgic vibe to it and it’s mostly filled with bars that provide stools for eight. Still, it’s a bit busy. Sukuna later pulls you into one of the businesses and you both have a bit more to drink. Don’t ask why you didn’t fight him against it more, it totally slipped your mind with how much fun you were having.
When the fun is done, you both make it back to where Sukuna parked the car. He’s not holding your hand anymore. Instead, he’s holding a small bag of fresh churros from one of the shops earlier. They were holding an event or something but you weren’t really paying attention. Anyway, there were a few cars parked near his when you first arrived but now that it’s late in the night, there are only two other cars in the parking lot. It’s a bit weird how secluded this area suddenly feels.
Sukuna burps involuntarily, “whoo, I’m a bit buzzed. Let’s cool off, yeah?”
“Sure.”
You’re about to pull the door handle but Sukuna shakes his head and taps the hood of his car. “Let’s lay down right here.”
You look at him and then the car with uncertainty. “Are you sure?”
He’s already laying on top of it, so you follow after and do the same. The sky is covered in a blanket of stars while the moon is half full. And wow, the coolness of the car does feel relaxing under your hot skin. Sukuna stuffs a few of the small churros in his mouth and then offers you some.
“These are good,” you compliment.
All he does is hum. Wow, he must be more buzzed than he’s letting on. When did he drink so much without you? Well, maybe you’re not as buzzed since all you had was beer, but he only mixed drinks a few times and he ate a big meal. You’re pretty relaxed right now and the only sound being made is the crinkling of the bag from both your hands going in back and forth. When there’s no more to eat, Sukuna reaches into his pocket and pulls out his lighter and cigarettes.
“You’re gonna smoke?”
It’s been a while. Sukuna doesn’t say anything. He settles the cancer stick between his lips, cupping his hand over it as he sparks up the lighter. Your curious little eyes watch the whole thing. You’ve seen him do this numerous times, yet every time you ask to try he denies. Since he’s feeling well, will his answer be different?
You nudge him gently while the smoke curls out from his mouth. “Can I try?”
“No way.”
Ah, like aways–
“Just kidding. You really want to?”
Huh? Did he just ask if you wanted to? You do a double take and stare at him like a dumbass. You’d ask if he’d repeat himself but that might change his mind, so you nod.
Sukuna chuckles, “alright.” He pushes himself off the car to sit up and motions for you to do the same. He passes the cigarette to you. “Go on.”
Every cell in your body is jumping with excitement, but you’re trying not to let it show because he might think you’re being stupid. You exhale slowly through your nose and take the cigarette from him. Shit. You feel more nervous now that his eyes are watching your every move.
You copy what he did earlier and inhale deeply, but then you immediately start to choke on smoke. Your face turns bright red from the force of coughing and Sukuna bursts out laughing at you. He’s been doing that a lot around you lately. Still, his heavy hand comes up to your back and he begins to pat roughly.
“Now who told you to take such a big puff, hmm?”
He’s looking down at you with gleaming eyes and you feel so put on the spot, yet you can’t stop yourself from blushing at the way he looks at you. Thankfully you can mask the blush with the redness from coughing, but a tiny bit of you thinks Sukuna isn’t fooled. He scoots closer to you and takes the cigarette from your hand. You’re about to argue against it but he beats you.
“Wanna shotgun it?”
Hah??? You must be very obvious. Sukuna chortles to himself and waves the cigarette in the air, “it means I’ll smoke it and then pass it to you through your mouth. It’d be easier than inhaling it yourself.” His face brightens a bit as a memory pops up into his head. “It’s the same as me passing liquor from my mouth into yours, y/n.” He takes another puff for himself and then flicks the cigarette. “In my opinion, it works better with a blunt since the smoke is thicker, but it works the same with cigarettes.”
You want to learn all the things Sukuna knows. You want to learn how to smoke, wanna learn how to do everything he does too. Sukuna inhales and holds the smoke in his mouth. He holds your face and gently leans in, pressing his lips to yours. You part your lips on instinct and inhale the smoke into your own mouth with closed eyes. Well whaddya know, it is easier.
Sukuna then quickly captures your lips with his own, causing the excess smoke to blow out in puffs around you. The kiss has remnants of booze on your tongues, cinnamon and now tobacco. Your hands fall onto Sukuna’s neck as the kiss deepens with you kissing back eagerly.
Sukuna discards the cigarette, throwing it somewhere on the ground. His hands wander as you kiss slowly; one hand tracing down, gently gripping your waist. His other hand moves from your face and threads into your hair to kiss you even deeper. You separate for a second to catch your breath but quickly rush back in, causing the tips of your nose to bump together while your tongues collide with each other, sparking electricity.
The fact that you’re almost completely in a secluded area makes it feel like time has slowed down for you. It’s quiet with the only sound being your lips meeting again and again with little groans in between. Feeling a little impatient, Sukuna’s hands ride up into your shirt, his cold fingers tracing your back. It sends a chill up your spine and you gasp into the kiss, earning a low chuckle from Sukuna.
Before anything escalates out here with prying eyes, you back up and catch your breath. “We gotta go, Sukuna. It’s getting late.”
“No, we don’t,” he whispers, leaning in to chase after another kiss.
You back up even further and let out a small laugh, “Sukuna, we’re in public.”
Your words go in his ear and out the other because he leans forward and decides to attach his lips to your neck instead. He leaves light kisses before he starts to suck gently.
“Don’t mark it,” you sigh, trying to be careful.
Seeing how eager and turned on he is, you push him away and nod your head in a direction. “We can go back and find a hotel. There were lots that we passed when we walked around.”
Sukuna shakes his head at you and jumps off the hood of his car and pulls you off as well, “no time.” He quickly scans the area for any cameras and when he finds none, he unlocks the car and pushes you inside. He goes in through his side and then locks his car again. With impatient hands, he pulls you over to his side and reclines his seat back.
“We’re doing this here? Now?” The shock in your voice is really cute.
Sukuna’s eyes are filled with lust and they’re hazy. You know this look all too well, so you give in and undo your bottoms. Soft lips meet yours again while you grind down on his hardened length. The warm air from your breaths fogged up the windows and it all happened so fast. Your lips connected, his pants unzipped and his dick deep within you while his hands find solace at your hips.
You’ve been riding him for quite some time now, so when he feels you losing pace, he begins to bounce you up and down while his hips snap up. “Fuck,” he groans, throwing his head back as his dick begins to feel more sensitive.
You pant even harder as your stomach begins to tighten. Gosh, he’s thrusting into you so hard that the whole car is practically shaking. You’re sure that if the owner of the cars came back and saw, they’d already know what was going on but the booze in your system is making it hard to care. One of Sukuna’s hands lifts your shirt up to expose your breasts and his mouth quickly attaches to your nipple, licking and flicking with the desperate need to cum.
“Ngh–” your moan is cut off from Sukuna slamming you back down on him. You release first, your thighs clenching and shaking from sensitivity while he continues to fuck you. Just to tease you more, Sukuna licks his thumb and begins to rub your clit in a circular motion.
“Sukuna– stop!” Your body jolts from the action and you smack his hand away from you, “please.”
He chuckles but quickly groans when he feels himself nearing. In a panic, he lifts you off of him and quickly covers his tip with his thumb so he doesn’t cum. Seeing this, you get off of him and crawl back to your side. Without a word, you lean over and remove his hand.
“???”
Before he knows it, your mouth is on his tip and you're sucking the cum from his fucking dick. And that’s not all. Now you’re being a bitch and going down on him when he’s sensitive. His nose scrunches while his face tightens. “Fuck, y/n–” Sukuna cuts himself off and throws his head back into the headrest when you suck even harder, licking up a prominent vein. If you keep going, he might piss in your fucking mouth. Not wanting to do so, his fingers lace into your hair and he yanks you off, his breathing finally calming down once you’ve been detached.
You haven’t swallowed the cum yet so you’re about to, but Sukuna pulls you towards him and locks his lips with yours again. He doesn’t care that his cum is being mixed on his tongue, all he wants to do is kiss you. You moan into the kiss when his tongue pushes even further and damn, you’ve never thought you’d be this kind of person… into all of this dirty risky shit and all. When he’s done, he pulls back with a string of saliva mixed with cum connecting you until it snaps and falls onto your chins.
“Swallow it, doll.”
@lucyrocks86 @mykyoon @hxlalokidottir @wo-ming-bai @adoraspace @yourusernames @raviolixxx @blackjanexx @myntalks
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nellyofthevalley · 9 months
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➡️ all my links and comms info at Nelly.lol
i'm more active on twitter these days with the NSFW rules :(
💫 tags
nellyposting / asks / my tav
my art / my fanfic
astarion pics / astarion gifs / astarion clips
resources / sometimes I reblog things I find useful for writing/drawing/etc!
💫 asks
I take and love receiving requests for writing and art (bg3). I can't guarantee I'll write or draw it, and I'm slow at it (like, literally months sometimes but I promise I never forget them lmao) because the creativity comes and goes, but I am more than open to them so the ideas are in always the back of my head when inspo strikes. also you can just like ask me stuff but im boring lmfao
💫 content
there's definitely things I won't write or draw but tbh you can request literally anything, no judgment, if I don't like it or feel I can't do it well enough, I just won't do it! there's plenty of things I thought I would never care for and was proven otherwise once I actually put pen to paper.
that said, I tend to do astarion/f!tav/durge content. for writing, i like tragedies and angst/pain relationship dynamic shit with a few cuter things here and there. art is usually cuter stuff but mostly bc I'm still learning to draw and I feel like thats easiest lol. nsfw totally fine and encouraged for both mediums
💫 fanfic list
i havent kept these up to date, i suggest following the ao3 links ❤️
complete
wedding dress | ao3 link | ast x f!tav | explicit | 7k words astarion makes tav's wedding dress and looks back on their life together
bloodlust | ao3 link | ast x f!durge | explicit | 5.2k words porn without plot but with some feelings; astarion's "you'll tell me the next time you need to be tied up, won't you?" dialogue was the prompt for this
edge of the world | ao3 link | ast x f!tav | 1k words a disgusting little sad/sweet scene
swim | ast x f!tav | 1.3k words very short porn literally no plot whatsoever that i wrote at 1am, trying out 2nd person. body stealing (haarlep) + tadpole sharing + facefucking
in progress
ascendant | ao3 link | ast x f!tav x gale | explicit | 17.2k words the study of ascended astarion's emotions turning into dark desires--obsession, possession. tav/ast and tav/gale as past relationships. a super fucked up love triangle, perhaps
spawn | ao3 link | ast x f!tav + cazador | explicit | 9.9k words explores post-game timeline where cazador captures tav; a straight-up tragedy from beginning to end
truths | ao3 link | ast x f!tav | explicit | 20.2k words my first work, a cringe little comfortfic that I'm considering rewriting entirely. there's no big overarching plot, it's just whatever happens really with loose ideas
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scoonsalicious · 6 months
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Hi! Hope you’re well :)
I just wanted to pop in and express just how absolutely OBSESSED I am with Unwanted. You’re such an incredible writer and I love how you’ve written Pocket and Bucky, as well as the rest of the Avengers. You totally get their little quirks and individual qualities that make them unique and it makes the entire story so much more indulgent to read. Pocket’s story is so heartbreaking but I can’t wait to read more about her and her past! She’s got a little bit more of a different vibe to her that I don’t always see for female characters and I’m loving it. I just spent most of my Sunday afternoon trying to brainstorm which direction you could possibly be taking this story (the infidelity and angst warnings both excite and scare the shit out of me lmao). Anyway, just wanted to post something encouraging for you! I’m super excited to read more! ❤️
Thank you so, so much! I can’t even tell you how much your comment means to me! The amount of love I’ve received for this little maladaptive imaginary world I made up has been truly blowing my mind; everyone has been so supportive and just flat out lovely! I hope that I the direction I have taken with the angst ends up being both surprising and satisfying; I can promise you that there will be a happy (or at least, hopeful) ending for the two of them (I, personally, hate investing in an angst fic only to be left unsatisfied with an unhappy ending, lol). I’m so happy that you like Pocket as a character; I’m trying very hard to make her a multi-faceted character who suffers from her own demons and is just trying to do the best she can with the psychological and emotional tools life has dealt her. I will say, writing her has been extremely therapeutic for me in helping me deal with things that have happened in my own past (though, thankfully, not nearly as horrific or tragic as what our girl has been through!), so to see her resonate with people has been very healing for me.
Thank you again for reading, and for taking the time out of your day to write your message. I appreciate you so much, kind internet stranger! ❤️
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alwaysxlarrie · 2 years
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you know it’s an alwaysxlarrie fic when ... + 2022 writing self evaluation 
ok so i’m a tiiiiiny bit late to the game, so i’m just combining the two tags lol. thank you to @hellolovers13, @larrysballetslippers, @zannithinks, @lunarheslwt, @brightgolden & @momrryrights for tagging me in the moodboard challenge (that’s what i’m calling it lol). hope everyone enjoys my chaotic moodboard hehe & thank you to @neondiamond, @onlythebravest, @lunarheslwt, @greenblueish, @thedevilinmybrain & @loveislarryislove for tagging me in the self evaluation tag !! here we goooo
for the moodboard we’ve got 2013 larry bc that’s my fav era & how i always imagine them in my fics, football player louis, santa’s sleigh, office space, cute notes on a white board, a clothing rack, new york city & gentle touches. i don’t think i need to say there’s not any specific mood theme going on here for anyone to figure that out LMAO but i did try my best regardless :)
1. Number of stories posted to AO3: 9!
2. Word count posted for the year: if i’m counting correctly ..... 93,735 ????
3. Fandoms I wrote for: one direction. i have a fic for the 5sos fandom that i’ve written a few chapters for & was editing it in an ao3 draft but then the page refreshed for some reason & i lost everything & kinda lost steam, so .... maybe it’ll see the light of day next year
4. Pairings: louis/harry, zayn/liam (side pairing), shawn/niall (side pairing)
5. Story with the most…
Kudos: i swear i could give you everything
Bookmarks: also i swear i could give you everything lol
Comments: it’s i swear i could give you everything again LMAO 
Hits: gimme everything you got 
6. Work I’m most proud of (and why): i think i’d say either gimme everything you got or i need something, so tell me something new. gimme everything you got bc i put a lot of my personal experience (give or take) into it & it got such a positive response & that made me super happy. i need something, so tell me something new bc it’s my first ever published fic in general & fic in this fandom.
7. Work I’m least proud of (and why): oooof. prob my sub harry fic. i enjoyed being apart of the fest & i enjoyed the experience, but writing it was so much harder than i’d anticipated & it felt like my writing got very redundant after a few scenes. i’m glad i stuck it out & that i published it, but yeah i def don’t think i did it the justice i’d wanted to.
8. Share or describe a favorite review you received: i’m really enjoying all the reviews/comments i’ve been getting on my cinderella au! it’s my first chaptered fic that i’m posting chapter by chapter, so that’s been really encouraging. but in general, i appreciate all the comments i get. as a small/new writer, i don’t expect to get any comments at all really, so whenever i do, i get excited. there was a comment on my christmas fic santa, won’t you bring me the one i really need? where someone said it was the best christmas fic they’ve ever read :)
9. A time when writing was really, really hard: the sub harry fic lmao. i love service kink harry fics so i was like alright sweet this will be a no brainer & basically, i fucked around & found out. i literally went through like 5 drafts until i finally found a premise that went w the prompt i was using that i felt i could build off of without turning the fic super predictable & dead end. i think if i’d waited to do that type of fic next year & done more research than i’d done for this one, it would’ve gone much better.
10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: the beginning of my cinderella au -- i’ve been very vocal about the fact that i write only fluff fics to balance out all the angst in our fandom & then i go & write a cinderella fic & make the first two chapters packed w angst LMAO. it’ll turn around soon, but that’s def the biggest one as of yet for me, i think.
11. A favorite excerpt of your writing: i’m not sure if i have a favorite tbh, but i like this one from i swear i could give you everything: --------------
“So what have you got for us today, Haz?” Louis asked, knocking on the table with his fists, excitement and anticipation both thrumming through his body.
“Well, I was just messing around in the kitchen last night, really,” Harry began, messing with the hem of his shirt and seemingly determined to continue looking at the floor as he made his way towards the fridge a few feet away from the table Louis was now sitting at. “And then I realized I had the ingredients. So. I just figured. Why not, you know?”
Louis furrowed his eyebrows, trying to piece together what Harry was talking about. All he’d done was ask Harry what he’d made. He guessed the ingredients were relevant to the conversation and he did enjoy listening to Harry talk - even if he really was talking some shit - so he decided to humor him. 
“Oh yeah, sweetheart?” Louis prompted as he placed his elbows on the table and rested his chin on one of his hands.
Harry was apparently too busy rummaging around the fridge to even glance back at him when he responded. Which wasn’t rude, really. Louis just. Wanted to see his eyes, was all.
“Yeah, so like. I thought you might enjoy it. You talk about it a lot, anyway. So I figured, I might as well, if I have the ingredients, you know?” 
“Sure, sure. Absolutely. No point in having all the ingredients if you’re not gonna make a good meal out of it.” Louis had completely lost the plot at this point but was still determined to try for Harry.
--------------
12. How did you grow as a writer this year: well let’s start w the fact that i began the year convinced i’d remain a reader & beta forever. so the fact that i’ve published one fic, let alone nine, is pretty big in itself lol. aside from that, i’ve gotten more comfortable writing smut & dialogue. before i wrote fics, i only wrote original stories & never included dialogue, so those were my biggest weaknesses when i first started writing fic & they’re still not my strengths yet, but i’ve definitely gotten better, i’d like to think.
13. How do you hope to grow next year: i def want to get more comfortable writing smut & building sexual tension. i want to write longer fics. i want to finish at least 5-10 of the 20 wips i have lol. i’d love to finish all of them, but 5-10 is a good goal. i want to write some different genres like historical, slow burns, etc.
14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc): i have a few! @loveislarryislove is a big one -- if i need help w a metaphor, making sure a sentence sounds right, incorporating tension building touches, brainstorming, honest feedback, etc, annika is my pea in a pod. also @panye, steph is so lovely & helpful when it comes to brainstorming, talking out what phrasing sounds better, she tells me what needs fixing & how to fix it; basically, she’s the better half of our shared brain cell. @zanniscaramouche is pretty much the reason i feel as comfortable as i do writing smut. she’s patient, she gives examples, she’s kind, she knows just how to change wording around to make a description or dialogue top tier. @justanothershadeofblue, is my sprinting buddy (along with zanni when our schedules align!). having a daily sprinting buddy who cheers you on is delightful, especially when they’re as supportive & willing to get sidetracked in off topic convos w me as zjo!
15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: gimme everything you got is based on personal experience in terms of the stigmas that come w female masturbation / women being shamed for exploring their bodies. i work in retail, so while that didn’t inspire it’s like i’m powerful with a little bit of tender, it def helped me know bts info lol. lastly, i’ve recently switched my major from psychology to interior design & my minor from interior design to psychology, so i guess my (new) major showed up in you are my destiny (you are the reason that i still believe). hostile work environment was also inspired by my retail job as well LMAO. there’s more in my wips tbh, but as for my currently published fics, that’s it, i think!
16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: just remember that how ‘popular’ or ‘unpopular’ your fic may be / may get isn’t an indicator of your talent. write something bc you want to write it, not bc you think it’ll appeal to people. take breaks -- if you’re stuck on a scene or sentence, get up & do something else for a bit. if you keep rereading the same sentence over & over, it’s only going to keep sounding more & more scrambled. you’ll work much better with a clear head & will be able to see where the mistakes -- if any -- actually are.
17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: my cinderella au for sure! i started a fic inspired by one of my fav fics staring across the room by the lovely @allwaswell16 & it’s been put to the side for much longer than i’ve wanted. i initially put it to the side to get more practice writing tension building, but def want to finish it next year. i also finally started the sequel to my girl direction fic, so that as well. & the sequel to my christmas fic lmao. i have lots of things i need to finish 😭😭
18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read: i honestly don’t know anyone who hasn’t done or been tagged in either of these yet, but i’ll tag a few anyway lol @lululawrence @thebreadvansstuff @panye @kingsofeverything @voulezloux @infinitelymint @londonfoginacup @twopoppies @littleroverlouis @tommokat @crinkle-eyed-boo @disgruntledkittenface @kingonafiftymetreroad @daggerandrose @homosociallyyours @ireallysawanangel & anyone else who wants to do these!
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nephymuses · 11 months
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The code ​☠️​
Interacting
SEND MEMES, it’s a quick and easy way to start interacting. It can even work as an ice breaker. Whether we never spoke, or we’re RP a while ago, please send memes, I find them very entertaining while working on longer plots!
You can turn any ask into a thread. I don't mind having multiple threads! In fact, I encourage it.
Feel free to bombard my muses with asks, they love when both you and your muses interact with them, so they will always be happy to receive attention (Ones more than others lmao)
I love plotting! Please talk to me to plot something. I’m okay with almost all genres (Angst, fluff, fight, chill, romance, gore, smut, etc…). If you are shy to approach me to talk, send me an ask and I will land in your inbox
Few topics are blacklisted, but I’m not going to role-play anything related to pedophilia, rape, zoophilia, etc … but Gore is fine! (As long as mun and muse are 18+)
Don’t be intimidated by my length of writing! Quality is better than quantity! I always adapt to the way you write, just give me something that allows me to work! (For example: If you give me -hugs them- and nothing more of context, it is almost certain that I will not reply it, because it is not giving me the opportunity to work)
Romance / NSFW
For any romantic / sexual interaction there must be chemical (emotional or physical) first!
Shipping. LOVE SHIPPING. This blog is multiship, so consider each ship in a different AU! My muses isn’t here to play cheating games and stuff, unless we plot something about it, but it will be in the universe of that particular ship. Saying again, think each ship in a different timeline. I won’t ship anything underage or blood ties. Crush is fine!
Some of my muses are flirtatious by nature, that doesn't mean I'm forcing a ship! Your muse will always have the chance to slap them or laugh in their face (or maybe flirt back, who says?)
NSFW. Mun is 25+, all nsfw interactions, both mun and muse must be 18+. I reserve the right to not respond or block if you try to generate nsfw content while are minors. Usually use “Read more”.
You can talk to me if you want our muses to have a pre-established relationship or want to make one.
Disclaimer
My portrayals are headcanon heavy. So keep that in mind when interacting. They are my own interpretation of the characters
Drama-free zone. Please, this’ a hobby or an escape from the daily routine, bitter is life, so I take the liberty of ignoring anyone who approaches with bad intentions
Please have patience if I don’t reply quickly. Sometimes I don’t have time in my real life or I just feel stuck and don’t know how to advance the rp. You can ask me anything! Maybe simply by talking we can follow the course or plot something new.
Sometimes I just don't have time to sit down and reply to threads because real life is consuming me, but I can make quick interactions through memes. That doesn't mean I've thrown away our thread, I'm just waiting to have enough time and motivation to give you a good reply
No Godmodding, don’t take control of my character (unless it’s something basic like moving to a place, to make the rp a little more fluid)
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lumiereandcogsworth · 2 years
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Fanfic Writer 20 Questions!
i did this over a year ago and i thought, since i’ve just hit the 100 fic milestone, thought it would be fun (for me at least) to do it again!
1. how many works do you have on ao3? 101! i hit 100 beauty and the beast 2017 fics, but there’s one other.
2. what’s your total ao3 word count? 181,325
3. how many fandoms have you written for and what are they? in my whole writing life? six, i believe. sherlock, loki, the office (all never posted anywhere), law & order svu (has since been deleted), juanita 2019, and beauty and the beast 2017 - my only two on ao3. the juanita fic is an epilogue to the movie, i just didn’t like how it ended and i needed to see them get together. hardly anyone has seen that movie but in the event that someone does? i have an excellent fic that’s always there for them <3
4. what are your top five fics by kudos? they’re all among my oldest fics. it’s not like popularity for this movie has GROWN since i started writing lmao
5. do you respond to comments? why or why not? yes always!! i appreciate comments IMMENSELY and i always wanna thank commenters 1. because i am extremely grateful and 2. because i want commenters to feel encouraged to continue commenting, not on mine specifically but just in general, and to know how much writers appreciate it. because we really do.
6. what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? i mean none of my young adam fics end particularly happily, even if the moment is happy you still know how much sadness and angst surrounds the situation. generally i like to write happy endings that tie everything into a neat bow though, lol. this one is really angsty and intense UNTIL the ending. emotional hurt/comfort ending babey!!
7. do you write crossovers? not besides the beautifully detailed universe emily and i have created together <3 but it’s not published anywhere we’re just constantly adding to it and saving it in our docs
8. have you ever received hate on a fic? no and i’m thankful for that ! my fics hardly get any reads so if they DO get read, it’s a positive reaction
9. do you write smut? if so, what kind? nah. i’ve written a few tiny scenes over the years but i don’t plan on posting them. the furthest i’ll go with posting is making out. i have a couple where they ARE naked but nothing happens. it’s just about Being together <3
10. have you ever had a fic stolen? none that i’m aware of!
11. have you ever had a fic translated? none that i’m aware of!!
12. have you ever co-written a fic before? no but i have co-created a fic, i wrote and @drawnby27emilys illustrated! that’s right here, if anyone wants to see :)
13. what’s your all-time favorite ship? hmm i wonder!! it’s adam and belle from beauty and the beast 2017 :))
14. what’s a wip that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? eh, i don’t think i can rule anything out. who knows what’ll inspire me? i still have that wip based on a dream i had where it’s set in modern au and adam has a little sister. i have no thoughts about it and i haven’t written about it since the first time but hey, maybe one day??
15. what are your writing strengths? according to my pals’ reviews, and i do agree, i think i’m pretty good at painting the picture. leaving little details, setting the atmosphere. also expanding upon little moments. taking a small idea like someone receiving a gift or them getting a dog and making it like. a big beautiful thing <3 and dialogue too !! but that’s kind of exclusive to adam and belle, they’ve just been living in my head for so long it’s as easy as breathing with them.
16. what are your writing weaknesses? arguments, mostly because i just hate to see people argue, especially my beloveds. i know they DO argue and i HAVE written them arguing before but it’s just few and far between. i much prefer to write soft happy moments. but yeah, conflict in general sjdksjdk. but i’m working on it !
17. what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in another language? i certainly don’t have the skills to do so but i think it’s cool if it’s done right! the furthest i go is writing certain words and pet names in french, but they’re commonly known words that most likely wouldn’t even require translation.
18. what was the first fandom you ever wrote for? i hand wrote bbc sherlock childhood fic in a journal when i was 12 LMAO
19. what’s your favorite fic you’ve ever written? ooohshofjsfkjd not to sound self-centered but im proud of a lot of my works. still one of my all time favorites is majesty of a different breed. it’s just a fun and lovely time. baby bonnet has also become very special to me. the fic about when their first child was born is also verryyyy beloved to me. i reread it often. nogaux is also Really good i’m very proud of it. it’s set during the movie, it’s like a whole added mini plot and i adore it :”) and this one!! so many years down the road and they still love dancing together 😭 i sob. ah, i could go on and on, but i’ll leave it there.
20. who do you tag? (no pressure of course <3) @freakwiththeknifecollection @corycunningham @katia-dreamer @trulyhopelessromantic @misscrazyfangirl321 @gavotteangel + any other writers who want to can say i tagged you!!
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drabbles-mc · 2 years
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Tagging Out (3)
Steve Murphy & OC Diego Ramírez
OC Diego Ramírez x F!Reader
Whumptober 2022: No.9 The Very Noisy Night- Sleeping In Shifts
Part 1, Part 2
Warnings: language, smoking, angst, Bitchy Steve Murphy
Word Count: 2.7k
A/N: Every time I write for this universe I fall more and more in love with it lmao. This is a little bit of a diversion from the main plot because of whumptober. Think of it like a filler episode haha. I think that outside of his dynamic with Reader, Diego’s dynamic with Steve might be my favorite. I also can’t wait to eventually get into Reader’s dynamic with Connie. I have so many plans for all these little characters I love them so much.
Narcos/Diegoverse Taglist: @ashlingnarcos​​ @garbinge​​ @narcolini​​ @mysun-n-stars​​ @nessamc​​ (If you want to be added to the taglist, please let me know!)
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When they both received the assignment, neither of them was exactly excited about it. Diego was a little more gracious about it than Steve had been, but that was surprising to no one. Steve had enough pull to be able to be outwardly bitter. Diego was still fighting for his life just to be taken seriously at all, let alone have people care about how he felt about the divvying up of work. 
The two of them were walking out to Steve's car. Diego could tell that Steve didn't want to be the one driving, but he also didn't want to ask Diego to drive either. He wondered how long it would take for it to feel like he was in a position where there was a way to win. Months of lose-lose scenarios were getting exhausting. 
"Let's go." The way that Steve said it left Diego wondering if he was saying it more to Diego, or as a form of self-encouragement. Diego played it safe, electing to just give Steve a nod before climbing into the car, and settling down in the passenger seat. Steve wasn't looking at him as he slid the key into the ignition. "You've done this shit before, right?"
Diego's polite facade faltered for a moment as he registered what Steve had really just asked him. "A stakeout? Yea," his sarcasm broke through, "once or twice I think."
Steve rolled his eyes. "Just asking."
The part of Diego that was fed up wanted to snap and remind Steve that he's been in Colombia far longer, that Steve was essentially a glorified tourist if you stepped back and compared the two of them. But that wouldn't get him anywhere. It would just make matters worse, and he really couldn't afford that at this point. 
"I'm new to your team, Agent Murphy," he chose his words carefully, "but I'm not new to police work."
Diego saw the shift in Steve's facial expression, but he didn't give the declaration a verbal response. Steve just continued to go through the motions, placing his hand on the back of Diego's headrest as he turned to reverse the car out of its spot. Bringing his hand back, he threw the car into drive with a little more force than necessary. 
A majority of the drive passed in silence, which worked just fine for both Steve and Diego. Steve focused on the road, and Diego spent the drive rereading the files of the men they were supposed to be looking out for. The instructions for the stakeout were clear. It was just about gathering information. There was a very short list of people that the two of them were allowed to engage with, and that was if they even showed up. Diego briefly wondered if the list would've been longer if he was partnered with someone other than Steve, someone who stuck out just a little less. It wasn't worth thinking about too much— there was nothing to be done about it now. 
"Where'd this lead come from anyway?" Diego asked, eyes still locked on the folder in his hands. 
Steve turned and looked at Diego for a brief moment, not having expected the question. "Came from," he gestured vaguely, taking one hand off the wheel to do so, "one of Javi's informants."
"Hm." Diego nodded in acknowledgment. 
"What?" The defensiveness in Steve's tone was impossible to miss. 
"Nothing." Diego didn't miss a beat. "Was just wondering."
"Right." Steve's drawl always seemed thicker when he wasn't being genuine. 
The building that they pulled up outside of was pretty unassuming, but that seemed to be the case with a lot of these places. That's why they had so much trouble tracking these guys down and bringing them in. Diego was taking in what he could of the building in front of him, the number of floors, the windows and doors that he could see, and what others he assumed would be built in. He was scribbling it all down in his notepad, not even aware of the fact that Steve was staring at him as he did so. 
"Drawin' a fuckin' blueprint over there?"
"No," he didn't match Steve's sarcasm, "But no harm in having some of the specs."
"We don't even know if this is legit. Besides," for once his frustration didn't seem to be aimed at Diego as he said, "not like we're allowed to go in anyway."
"Unless something happens. And if it does," he set his pencil down and looked over at Steve, "I'd rather have some idea of what we're walking into. Wouldn't you?"
Steve knew that he couldn't lie and say no, but he wasn't ready to just start agreeing with the kid yet either. So instead he gave a noncommittal grunt and went back to looking out the window. 
It was boring, the way that a majority of stakeouts were. The boredom seemed to increase with the knowledge that they were just there to vet the tip, not to go in and be hands-on in any real capacity. They didn't talk much. Steve snapped photos of some of the people coming and going, Diego was scribbling down names if he knew them, physical descriptions if he didn’t, along with the times they got there and the time they left.
For a while, the extent of their interactions was one of them asking the other, "You got them?" And the other responding, "Got 'em."
Diego knew that there was no way that Steve was this boring on stakeouts with Javier. He might still be that grumpy because being cooped up in a car for hours would do that to anyone. But they were friends, so they must have at least conversed. But, for as intermittently uncomfortable as his current situation was, Diego was still fairly certain it was preferable to being trapped in the car alone with Javier. If that had been the case, Diego might’ve gotten stuck walking home. Neither of the men were putting in any effort to be Diego’s friend, but Javi was a little colder, a little more brutal than Steve had been. All things considered, the universe had given Diego the lesser of two evils this time around.
"We're here all night, right?" Diego asked as the sun started to sink. 
Steve nodded, eye pressed against the camera. "Yea. You got places to be?"
Diego bit back his sigh. "No. But we've been here all day already. No way we're both staying up the entire night, especially when there isn't anything going on."
"You can take a nap if you want."
"Murphy—"
The exasperation in Diego's voice sounded a little too familiar. Steve jerked his head to look at him, only to find Diego skimming over his notes. "Fine. Give it a couple hours. I'll grab coffee and take the first shift. Let you get your fuckin' beauty sleep."
Diego had to chuckle at that. He wasn’t really even tired yet, but he knew that eventually, they were going to be. He just nodded and went back to the task at hand. The silence between them felt a little less tense now, at least for Diego. Sometimes he wondered if Steve ever wasn't tense. Maybe that was an answer you'd be able to give him. Because sure, sometimes things felt a little more personal than they should, but Diego wasn't so self-pitying to think that it was all his fault all the time. Sometimes it just felt like that’s how Steve operated all the time. You knew Steve better, he'd have to remember to ask. 
Steve went to get coffee, leaving his camera behind. He warned Diego not to break it if he had to use it in the couple minutes that he was gone. Diego promised it would all still be in one piece when Steve got back. Moments like that made him wish that reciprocating sarcasm would go over well.
When the driver's door opened again, Steve slid into his seat, a coffee cup in each hand. He set one into the cup holder closer to Diego, taking a sip from the one still clutched in his hand. He saw the questioning look on Diego's face and rolled his eyes, although it took real effort to not laugh or crack a smile. 
"It's just coffee. It won’t bite."
Diego allowed himself to give a bit of an amused smile. “That’d be the last thing I need these days.”
Steve saw the way that his gaze kept flickering over to the coffee from his notepad. “You good?” he asked.
Diego’s eyes widened slightly as he looked over at Steve. "Yea, I just…” He paused. “Thanks. I wasn’t, you know,” he shrugged, not really finishing his sentence. 
Steve frowned for a brief moment. None of those words really meant anything and yet Steve knew exactly what the kid was saying.  “Right.” It sounded more genuine than the last time he’d said it. He wanted to have something more to say, but he knew that he’d backed himself into a bit of a corner with Diego, so he let it lie.
They both fell quiet again. Steve maneuvered the driver’s seat so that he could lean back a little while they waited for something else to happen. Diego was leaning back, eyes mostly closed as he wondered if it would be worth it to just drink the coffee and power through for a while, or take a quick fifteen and drink it when he woke up. While he was thinking about that, he could feel Steve looking at him. He was at the point where he didn’t even try to guess what anyone was thinking about him anymore.
“Please stop,” Diego said, his voice nice enough but the exhaustion was audible.
“What?” Steve wasn’t a good enough actor to pretend that he didn’t know exactly what Diego was talking about.
“Please stop staring,” he elaborated.
“I’m not--”
“We’re gonna be stuck together in this car for a while. If there’s something you wanna say, you should just say it.” He opened his eyes the rest of the way, turning and looking over at Steve. “It can’t be worse than anything else I’ve heard.”
Steve sucked in a deep breath. “Look, Ramírez, I’m not trying to--”
Diego didn’t mean to cut him off with a laugh, but it still worked out that way. He shook his head at Steve, “Don’t do that, Murphy, please.”
“Do what?”
“Pretend to be diplomatic now.” He sat a little more upright, any wish for going to sleep officially gone out the window with the smoke from Steve’s cigarette. “You’re better than that. Don’t lie. If you have an issue with me--”
“I don’t have a fuckin’ issue with you,” Steve sounded as indignant as ever, which did not help his case.
“Are you sure about that?” Diego didn’t sound angry, even though he had every right to be. He just sounded tired, and not just from being up late on a stakeout. “Because it seems like both you and your partner are waiting for me to tap out.” The words along with the rest of the CNP were on the tip of his tongue but he managed to hold them back.
“I’m not…” Steve’s voice trailed off as he tried to figure out exactly what it was that he wanted to say. It wasn’t that he wanted Diego to quit. Hell, they needed any and all help they could get given the state of everything. And, as much as he didn’t want to admit it, Steve knew that the kid was good at his job. Aside from the…issues, with Carrillo, Diego didn’t have any real blemishes on his record. Flying colors in the academy, glowing reviews from any fucking officer in the CNP prior to a few months ago. And even then, no one could really say a bad thing about his work. But this wasn’t just about the work. Steve knew that. Diego knew that. Everyone knew that. From the second that Diego set foot in the building, it became just as much about everything else as it was about catching Escobar. That’s where the issues all bubbled up. 
Steve didn’t want to say any of that out loud though. He knew how petulant it would sound. They were two grown men sitting on a stakeout trying to get information on some of the most wanted criminals in the world. The last thing that he should be thinking about saying was, “Yea well your girlfriend really hurt Carrillo’s feelings when she dumped him for you so now we all sort of have to hate you because we knew him first.” Because even if the phrasing came out more elegantly than that, that’s really what it was going to boil down to.
Diego saw it on Steve’s face that he was deep in thought. He shook his head, toying with the coffee cup that Steve had set in the cup holder for him. “You guys give her this hard of a time too?” They were already knee-deep in murky waters, so Diego figured that throwing the question out wasn’t going to make it worse.
“Who?” Steve asked.
Diego shot him a look of disbelief, like he couldn’t tell if Steve was being sarcastic or not. “What do you mean who?”
Steve’s eyes widened in realization. “Oh.” He shook his head. “Not…not really.”
Diego nodded, thinking back on all of his conversations with you over the last few months as everything began to change. Some things had become better, easier. Other things had gotten complicated when they really shouldn’t have been.
“Mhm.” He picked up the coffee and took a sip, knowing that he wasn’t going to be able to sleep until he was back in his own bed, preferably with you. The most anger that had been in his voice all night only came out when it came to you. “You guys just cut her out, right?”
Steve’s gut twisted with guilt at the question, but he wasn’t going to cop to that. “What,” he had half of his usual sarcasm intact, “you stay close with all of your friends’ exes then?”
Diego shrugged. “No. But,” he drummed his fingers on the cup, trying to figure out just how bold he was feeling, “who was really your friend in all of that?”
It was sort of a challenge, sort of an honest inquiry. He knew that it wasn’t as though you and Steve had hung out all the time, but you had been close with Connie by virtue of everything going on. You’d been friendly with Steve, and truthfully Diego found it hard to believe that Carrillo had been any kinder to the man than you had been.
“It’s not that simple,” Steve finally said.
Diego gave one slow nod. “Alright.”
Steve set his cup down in the cupholder. Without looking directly at him, he handed the camera over to Diego. “You take the first shift, then,” he said, leaning back in the seat and shutting his eyes.
Diego nodded even though it wasn’t like the man next to him was going to see it. He held the camera carefully in the hand that wasn’t holding onto his coffee. “That works.”
He set the coffee down, leaving just the camera and his notepad in his lap. He lightly tapped the end of his pencil on the pad of paper in front of him. He was no stranger to pulling all-nighters, but this didn’t feel quite like the others. It almost made him miss being fresh out of the academy and getting put on all the shifts that other more senior officers didn’t want to pick up. At least back then, the man sitting next to him in the patrol car was happy to have him there.
Before he could wallow too much, another pair of men started making their way up the steps of the building that they had been watching. The constant looking over their shoulders was a dead giveaway that they were people to watch. Diego lifted the camera, placing his eye to the viewfinder as he quickly tried to zoom in.
Steve’s eyes were still shut, hand tucked behind his head as he said, “Make sure the fuckin’ flash is off. You’ll get us shot.”
Diego frowned, feeling like that was a bit obvious, but he pulled the camera away to double-check. He huffed out a tiny laugh as he switched the flash off. “Thanks.”
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strangerthings1975 · 2 years
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Tell me why I’ve been happily writing such a wonderful joyous chapter for my fic and then my face instantly dropped at the thought of the last MPG chapter lmao. No Steddie joy in any universe right now, mourning only hahahaha. You ruined us all and left us waiting (hoping). You’re the devil in the most wonderful form. We’re honoured to read anything you produce.
Lmao thank you for the wonderful compliment!! You’re so sweet. Feel free to drop a link to your fic if it’s published, so we can check it out!! 🖤
I’m so happy the chapter was sad because I struggle writing angst and never want fights to happen between the main ship 🥺 even my fic Steady as He Goes is supposed to be enemies to lovers and they’re like barely enemies because I couldn’t even have them be super mean to each other 😅🤣 I’m such a softie… so like, writing this chapter was such an experience… I genuinely might never write angst again. Or maybe I will because now I know I can?? But yeah lmao. It took A LOT out of me.
And like Steve, with his fifty-fifty gambling I didn’t know how this chapter would be received. It’s verrryyyy relieving to know it was painful in a *satisfying* way. Makes me all the more encouraged to get to the makeup scene. 🥰🖤🥺
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thank you so much ;^; i'm proud of myself too and i do hope to pass this last one too, otherwise it's a september matter lmao
i will make you accept compliments in a way or another 🤺 i'm sure i'm not the only one here, so it's an undefined number of people against you >:3 (also thanks for liking that awful pun, cyno got the better of me)
i think that, in a modern setting like your au, xiao would be one of those average tattooed people, they have their good bunch of drawings and writings but still got plenty of untouched skin, so the possibilities for tattooes are almost endless! but yeah arms and chest and back tattooes >>>>>>>>>> neck too ngl they're hot 👀
with scara is more of a "annoying x annoyed" trope (if it actually exists, otherwise i just invented it), but nonetheless even if he has good reflex one way or another he want flick my forehead unless he wants me to pinch his cheeks like a baby in exchange (or to offer me dinner)
anyway, just finished re-reading the piece cuz i needed the gut twisting feeling to sink just the right way and MAN HOW COULD YOU QwQ THE DESPAIR THE ANGER THE LONELINESS THE PAIN THE EVERYTHING GAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH T-T kazuha the only one trying to cope in a decent way BUT TOMO QwQ
you're an amazing and cruel writer holly TvT
— ❄️
you can be proud!! and it’ll work out, i’m sure of it!! <3
too bad that i’m the sole authority on this blog and democracy means nothing to me /j; it’s not that i dislike receiving compliments, hell one of my receiving love languages is words of affirmation, i just don’t believe any of them are true and people are just being nice, bless their hearts i think i can go toe to toe with cyno on puns, albedo loves it
yeah i agree (again, i have my ideas that i will throw at people eventually, one of them is ofc angsty heheh just a smidge though) there’s still plenty of soft skin for me to touch doodle on; maybe i do have to write his second part next, i have some tasty ideas (i’m shooting myself in the foot with this bc how could anyone compare?? ㅠㅠ)
anyway speaking about neck tattoos, scara… every trope is valid as a trope even if it’s just made up but i think the “annoying (bc they care) x annoyed (but they actually care so much)” trope has been floating around; also let me tell you, scara already wants to buy you dinner, you’re just giving him excuses jshsh
HOW COULD YOU has got to be my favourite reaction to get on any kind of angst piece, it’s just funny; especially bc i can guarantee you that i was whining in my best friend’s chat about how none of the scenes are painful enough… oops (it happens every time)
xiao’s part is by far my favourite though, sorry blatant favouritism, but i had this very vivid scene in my mind for it + my two beta readers were yelling in the entire comment section which was very encouraging (also i hope we all caught that jade symbolises harmony, virtue and eternity, what a detail~ /lh); kazuha definitely copes the best but i think xiao is getting there, childe and aether on the other hand…
thank you, being a cruel writer means so much to me ^^ at least when it comes to angst what’s comfort?
“i promise, honey, i can feel your pain; and maybe i enjoy it just a little bit, does that make me insane?” me when someone says my angst hurt; sorry i have this song stuck in my head and i just kinda fits here hshsh
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shdwtouch · 23 days
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okay for my comfort I need to bring something up. my inbox / draft / etc count is not anyones business but my own. I have it on my pinned post for transparency and as a personal reminder more than anything. I periodically go through both my inbox and drafts to remove stuff I'm not vibing with, and in the case of drafts I will always let folks know if I intend to drop stuff !
my comfort range for drafts is 25-30 (right now its at like 34 and I am Coping™) but for my inbox I like keeping it above 100 because I tend to dive in and answer a bunch of asks, usually 3-7, at once when I get muse, and that way I always have options.
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which is to say... more is always better when it comes to sending asks ! I encourage folks to send multiple at a time and of various kinds because I love variety. variety is the spice of rp in my case, because I never know what mood I'll be in. sometimes I want to answer purely ooc stuff, other times light casual things, or angst. having a packed inbox is optimal for me, because it provides plenty of opportunity. when I say I thrive on an overflowing inbox I mean it; please, spoil me with choice ! you are never, ever annoying me ! best case scenario I answer everything you throw my way, worst case scenario I pick one, or maybe none, tho I always try to keep at least one (1) ask when receiving multiple at once just so I don't close off potential interaction.
additionally !! if you are sending asks and there is maybe one or two you are excited or looking forward to... let me know. I will do my best to prioritize them for you so we can get some interaction going ! otherwise, it goes in the inbox and will be answered when I have the energy or when I'm doing a run of answers.
something I have mentioned in my rules is that I'm more likely to engage and interact with people who have expressed interest. more than just following me, I mean. if you come to me like hey I sent this ask and I think it would be neat to interact it shows me you are interested and excited and I'll more readily invest in our interactions. in my head everything else is kind of... passive ? so taking initiative and communicating that you like or want to further explore in a thread or ask is much more direct to my brain. idk if that makes sense, but... its how my brain works. XD
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so please don't be concerned about what I have in my inbox. I appreciate the concern but its unnecessary and just makes me feel self-conscious honestly. in general, know that my inbox and draft count do not contribute to my ability to interact; sometimes I just don't have the energy for things or I feel stagnant. but I'm still here to discuss and plot, always ! and, yes, I am always down for a server / roleplaying over discord !
I guess... if my draft count exceeds 40 then you might poke me to verify I'm still alive / not drowning in stress, and if my inbox is less than 80 consider throwing me some asks because I'm probably starving for them ? lmao but trust me, I have my best interest in mind, you don't need to be concerned for my sake or feel like you have to take preventative measures to protect me from myself. I know my limits, and I try to operate within them to the best of my ability.
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