#if you don't know it basically causes hard lumps of boils

[natjennie]

hs is bad :(

[radiorenjun]

I Don't Need It

• Pairing: Na Jaemin x Reader

• Genre: Angst, Comedy, Fluff

• Na Jaemin despised the idea of soulmates, he wanted to fight against fate for choosing his soulmate for him. Even if it means his stubborn childhood best friend wouldn't stop trying to make him accept about the similar tattoos on their wrists.

• Masterlist here!

• Chapters: iv, v

You smiled as you saw Jaemin on the otherside as you opened the door to Jaemin’s room. Your parents always gathered to these monthly dinners at each other’s houses, so usually, Jaemin and you were given some free time to hang out as both your parents prepared dinner. 

“Nana!” you exclaimed, pulling the taller boy into a hug. “I missed you,” you mumbled against his fluffy sweater, his scent filling your nostrils in an instant. “You saw me hours ago when we got smoothies,” he chuckled, reciprocating the hug nonetheless. You shrugged, your smile still evident and wide as you nuzzled your face against the soft fabric.

“I don’t care, I miss you nonetheless. You-” you were interrupted when Jaemin let out an awkward cough, ”Y/n.” He spoke sternly, knowing that you were gonna bring out the soulmate topic again. You look up at him with a cheeky smile, pulling away from the hug as you began to speak,  “sorry, I mean, who knows? You could’ve changed your mind bout it in the past few hours.” you giggled, earning an eye roll from the boy in front of you who lets out an exasperated sigh.

You bit your lip slightly at his annoyed expression, trying to keep your usual bright smile stretched across your face. “Oh!” you exclaimed after a moment of silence, reaching a hand into your jacket pocket and pulling out a small wooden box. “Here,” you smiled, breaking the tension as you handed him the small box.

Jaemin’s frown lighten as he raised one of his eyebrows in confusion, gently taking the wooden box into his hands. “What’s this?” he asked as he slowly opened the box to see a photo of the two of you playing with some action figures and barbies when you were still in kindergarten, his expression lighten and a small smile stretched across his face at the sight as the memory of the two of you roleplaying with your toys came flashing through his mind.

Soft music came out of the small box, it appeared to be a cute music box with a small figure of a porcelain farm girl with red braided pig tails spinning around spinning around in the middle of the box. Jaemin lifted his gaze to your bright one, “it’s a music box, dumb ass.” you replied with a laugh. Jaemin chuckled, as the calming sound of moonlight sonata came out of the music box. He closed the box and turned it upside down to see the crank slowly twisting along with the music.

“I want you to have it,” you smiled bashfully, tugging on the sleeves of your jacket nervously. Jaemin lifted a brow, “me? Why?” he asked, frowning a bit. “Is it a crime to give you a gift?” you pouted, “why are you acting as if I hid a bomb inside of it? That’s a special music box, you know!” you spluttered once you saw his expression hardened. “Sure it is, that’s what you said bout the other unexpected presents you gave me.” he chuckled. “It was to convince you to keep it. Shut up, that music box actually means alot to me.” you pouted.

“If it means so much to you, then don’t give it to me.” Jaemin shook his head with a laugh, passing you your music box back. You frowned when you felt the wooden box handed to you. “But I want you to have it because you, too, mean a lot to me.” You pouted, causing Jaemin to let out an frustrated sigh.

He pushed the music box back to you. Before you could retort, you both heard Jaemin’s mom calling out for the both of you from the dining room. “Y/N! Jaemin! Dinner’s ready, come on down!” Jaemin didn’t spare you a glance as he started walking down the stairs, leaving you standing awkwardly in the middle of his room with your music box in hand.

You sighed, ignoring the pain in your chest as you took a deep breath, trying to maintain a bright smile on your face. You felt the soulmate mark on your wrist sting against your skin. You clenched your fist to try to convince your mind to numb the stinging sensation, taking a deep breath as the pain in your chest and wrist subsided. “Y/N? You up there?” your dad called out from downstairs. “Yeah, hold up!” you spluttered as you tucked the small music box inside your pocket before hurriedly jogging down the stairs.

"What took you so long?" your mother laughed as you descended down the steps and came into view from the dining table. You smiled, “sorry, I spaced out. What did I miss?” you walked to sit in between Jaemin and your mother. “Spaced out? Well that’s very unusual of you,” Jaemin’s mom chuckled as you let out an innocent shrug.

“I’ve been spacing out a lot lately,” you giggled as you began to eat the pasta presented before you in one of Mrs. Na’s prized china plates. “Give her a break, it is their senior year of highschool after all,” Jaemin's father laughed in amusement, “make sure you study hard, you two.”

Jaemin smiled, nodding. “Will do, dad” he responded with a grin. “Anyways, how was school today?” Mr. Na asked, putting his elbows on the table and intertwining his fingers together as he chewed. “You should ask Mr. Captain Of The Football Team.” you giggled, nudging Jaemin by the shoulder, causing Jaemin to let out an embarrassed groan. “Y/N...” he whined, burying his face in his palm, the other holding his fork as an embarrassed smile appeared on his face.

“What? My son? Captain of the Football Team? Jaemin, you didn’t tell us that!” Mr. Na exclaimed in awe. “Congratulations, my boy! Back in my day-” your dad started, making you let out a whine. "Dad, no,” you laughed, "please don't start one of your stories again!"

"Oh hush, you two love our stories!" your dad shook his head as Mr. Na and him began sharing stories of their youth. Explaining how he got hit by the ball when the school photographer accidentally turned on the camera flash during the game and bumped into Mr. Na in the middle of the game because of how bright the light was.

“Oh god.” Jaemin laughed, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes as you clapped your hands in laughter at their stories. Both of your mothers shaking their heads and giggling along as they tried not to choke on their own foods as your dads acted out their stories dramatically.

“Anyways, I see you two are still getting along well. Tell me, Y/N, has my son finally accepted your undying love for him?” Mrs. Na asked curiously. Since that day on your 16th birthday, both your parents were hoping that Jaemin would let go of his dramatic ‘I don’t ever want a chosen soulmate’ idea and accept your love. But they were disappointed that Jaemin didn’t change his mind, they were quite happy at the fact that you were determined to convinced him otherwise.

What they didn’t know was it was starting to become a tough topic to talk about between the two of you. You were starting to grow tired of the ache in your chest whenever you get rejected, how you were clinging onto that little hope that Jaemin was just playing hard-to-get. But you didn’t want any of them knowing that your determination was wavering as Jaemin continues to reject you.

You bit your lip when Jaemin opened his mouth to speak, “Mom,” he whined. “What? Jaemin, it’s been two years. You should really drop this ‘no soulmate’ nonsense. Your father and I are clearly ecstatic that Y/N has a possibility of being my daughter-in-law.” Mrs. Na spoke in a stern tone. “Give the boy some time, Y/N is still as determined as ever.” your mother patted your head with a smile.

You let out a forced smile, obviously feeling uncomfortable with how awkward the conversation was going. “Jaemin, you should really stop rejecting Y/N so much. Poor girl has been waiting for years, for Gods sake.” Mr. Na laughed. “Mr. Na, don’t say that. I'm still eager as ever to keep trying, he is my soulmate after all.” you smiled, not noticing how grim Jaemin’s glare had gotten as the conversation progressed.

"I'll never stop trying." you grinned, "I'm never giving up til Jaemin reciprocates my feelings." Both of your parents laughed at your eagerness, oblivious to how Jaemin was basically bout to burst with annoyance and frustration and how fake your facade was.

Once you stopped speaking, you felt your heart sank once again. His eyes refused to meet yours as he fumbled with his food idly, listening to the conversation with his blood boiling in his veins, causing you to grow anxious. His fingers gripping the utensils so hard, you were surprised they weren't bent.

You bit your lip before you slowly stood up, quickly mumbling that you needed to go to the restroom. You quickly walked away to avoid Jaemin’s dark eyes, quickly entering the bathroom upstairs, locking the door and slide your back down against it as you felt tears stinging your eyes.

You held a deep breath and tried to swallow the lump in your throat. You bit your lip as you pulled the music box out of your pocket, turning the crank before opening the box to hear the serene sound being produced on a continuous loop.

Your breathing calmed down gradually before a knock was elicited from the door. You flinched in surprise at the sudden sound, you quickly stood up and took a second to look at your reflection at the mirror to check if you look presentable enough to walk out. You shut the music box and tucked it behind you as you opened the door to be met with the dark angered eyes of none other than Na Jaemin.

“Nana?” you raised your brow in confusion. “What are you-” you were cut off when Jaemin’s fingers were suddenly wrapped around your wrist. “We need to fucking talk, now.” he growled as he quietly pulled you into his room.

Jaemin pulled you into his room angrily, shutting the door behind him and locking it to prevent your parents from invading. "What was that all bout?" he exclaimed angrily, a slight growl evident in his deep voice.

"What are you talking bout?" you raised your brow, tugging on the sleeves of your hoodie nervously as Jaemin continued. "Don't act dumb! You know what you were doing with all that soulmate talk! 'I'll never stop trying', what the fuck, y/n?!" he barked. "You know how much it pisses me off when you talk bout it."

"Me? They started the conversation, Nana!" you retorted, brows furrowed in response. "Still, you went with it." Jaemin ran a hair through his hair in frustration, "went with it? Okay, yes, I said something but it was to make your parents happy! I thought if I just agreed what they said they would stop talking bout you re-"

"Well you were wrong, okay? You have no idea how it feels to have your parents constantly nagging and telling you what to do and what not to do!" Jaemin barked, his voice getting deeper as his eyes darkened even more. His fists were clenched as the sight of the bright smiley boy was no more as of now.

" 'Oh Jaemin, you shouldn't reject y/n so much. You're actually going to make her give up on you sooner or later'" he mimicked in a high-pitched tone, words spewing out of his mouth uncontrollably in anger as he vented out his frustrations on you.

"'Jaemin, just accept the poor girl's feelings. You should just accept that she's your soulmate before you realise it's too late'" you felt your chest clench with every word. You didn't know he was always pushed by his parents like this.

"'Jaemin, give y/n a chance. Don't reject her all the time, you two are best friends remember.'" he growled, his eyes never meeting yours as he tugged on the strands of his hair in frustration. "I'm sick and tired of it, y/n!" he yelled, eyes filled with fury coming to meet your terrified ones.

"I'm sick and tired of being constantly reminded that I'm bound to be soulmates with someone I didn't chose to love." He continued, pulling on his sleeves to reveal the black mark that caused this entire mess. Your heart felt like crying out, you knew tears were slowly dripping from your eyes but you made a quick move to wipe them off with your sleeves.

"I'm sick and tired of you constantly forcing me and telling me things just because we have the same stupid mark! You don't know what it's like when people tell you how to feel!" he tugged down his sleeve angrily before taking a big step towards you.

You held your breath, trying to stay strong before Jaemin's eyes bore into yours coldly. His finger poking your forehead, right above the space between your eyes. "It's so fucking annoying to have your own best friend nag and whine every single day of your life bout how she's your soulmate."

"Its exhausting to be with someone who's so whiny and pushy. No matter how many times I fucking turn you down as gently as possible you're stubborn self couldn't see how annoying this whole thing is." he spat, his voice laced with venom as you look down, avoiding his cold stare.

You felt your chest tighten with every passing second, you felt like you were bout to burst. Your heart was crying out, begging and pleading to be freed from its pain. Practically saying, 'please let it out. It hurts. It hurts so much.'

"I'm sick and tired of you not leaving me alone. I don't like you like that, and I never fucking will. Get that through your thick skull, y/n." he hissed in your face. You bit your lip when he took a few steps back, the mark on your left wrist burning against your skin. Yet the physical pain wasn't enough to conquer the emotional pain in your chest.

Your heartbeat quicken as you took a deep breath, pulling out the music box in your pocket before handing it to him. "Can you at least keep this? I want you to have it." you sniffled, wiping your tears as best as you could as you tried to keep your voice steady. Nonetheless you hated yourself for sounding so weak and fragile at that moment.

This didn't faze Jaemin however, the anger in his eyes just continued to blind his vision with fury. He didn't know what came over him, but Jaemin pushed the wooden box out of your hand with a grunt, letting it fall to the floor. It's delicate thin parts breaking to pieces.

You gasped, flinching at the sound of wood and twine hitting the floor. You were surprised your parents hadn't come up yet, you look up in shock at the boy who was glaring at you emotionlessly. "I mean it, y/n." he spoke in a bold, cold tone.

You stared at what's left of the precious wooden music box, the small paper that is your childhood photograph poking out in between the pieces of broken wood. You took a deep breath before walking out of Jaemin's room, feeling something get stuck to the soles of your shoes.

You jogged down the steps of stairs, trying to keep your tears in. You felt like your heart had been crushed into pieces just like the music box. Your chest was aching badly, your wrist was burning and you just want to go home, curl up in your blanket and cry.

You needed to get out of there before you break. You knew you can't hold the pieces of your mask together anymore, and you weren't about to use the same broken mask over and over again anymore.

"Y/n, are you okay?" Mrs. Na's voice spoke behind you as you were about to open the entrance door. "Uh," you tried to sound casual with your tone but your weak voice gave it away. "I just remembered I had an essay to finish." you lied through your teeth, knowing you'd get a scolding by your parents later for leaving so abruptly.

"It's a really really long essay," you smiled, sparing the woman a short glance. "Dinner was amazing, Mrs. Na. Good night." you bit your lip to try to make your act last a little bit longer. "Are you sure? Honey, did something happen-" she tried again but you quickly turn the door knob and opened the door.

"Everything's just peachy, Mrs. Na." you smiled, not giving the poor woman another glance as you closed the door in front of her. Ignoring the cold breeze that hits your skin as you ran home, quickly finding the key under your rug and unlocking it.

You tossed the key onto the table beside the door and ran upstairs to your room. You were thankful that Jaemin's curtains were covering your view of him, but nonetheless you pulled your own curtains just for safety measure.

A moment of deafening silence met your ears as you felt your heartbeat in your ears, your eyes finally flooding with tears as you let out loud sobs. You collapsed onto your bed, putting a hand over your eyes to somehow stop the tears that were flowing uncontrollably, your other hand clutching the hoodie over your aching chest.

Ugly cries echoed through your room as you continued to break down. Jaemin's words repeating themselves in your head over and over again. You knew that this day would eventually come, you kept telling yourself to be prepared for the intense pain at this exact moment.

But why does it still hurt so bad?

Why does it still-

"Calling Renjun." a familiar monotonous voice appeared out of the blue. You sat up, sniffling, moving to see that you had been sitting under your phone that was now calling Renjun.

You gasped, "wait, shit, no!" fidgeting to hang up the call before he answers but unfortunately it was too late, he had already picked up the call. "Hello? Y/n?" his soft voice greeted through your phone speakers.

"Renjun, I'm so sorry, I sat on my phone and I think it accidentally-" you spluttered, choking on your words as you tried to hide the fact that you were sobbing your eyes out a second ago. "Wait, are you crying?"

That seemed to silence you. But a hiccup elicited from you gave him his answer, "no? Why would I be crying?" you shook your head, a sob coming out of your throat at the end of your sentence as your heart clenched once again.

"Y/n, it's okay. I'm here. Tell me what happened."

IM SORRY I HAVENT UPDATED, IVE BEEN BUSY DJSKSBSBB