#if you can live with your parents and not pay bills/rent or buy groceries I highly recommend it

[alexisomnias]

—  "THEY WERE ROOMMATES" . . .

⤷ you’re their roommate!

featuring the DORMLEADERS

RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS

Your Roommate who nags you like a housewife, always telling you to clean up your room, to always keep on top with etiquette. Even ruling “no elbows on the table!”

Your Roommate who knows all your favourite foods and makes you breakfast in excuse that “you need to stay healthy.”

Your Roommate who always makes unknowingly makes two servings of meals, ensuring you don’t starve.

Your Roommate who unconsciously stays up later then usual to ensure you return home

Your Roommate who gets all jealous whenever you bring someone home, you should’ve asked him first! (and just not… have them come over..!)

Your Roommate who wants to be as close to you that your lives intertwine and his friends are yours and vice versa…

Your Roommate who all his friends think you two are something more then just roomies. but noooo thats not true… right?

Your Roommate who buys a bunch of plants to take care of, and which results into you both being plant parents

LEONA KINGSCHOLAR

Your Roommate who leaves everything on the floor, for you to pick up. You can barely even walk through the living room without tripping!

Your Roommate who will indeed beat a bitch up and risk imprisonment (he can buy his way out) if someone insults you

Your Roommate who mixes your laundry often so at this point its shared clothing

Your Roommate who throws away money for you at a moments notice, and will pay your side of the rent if you’ve been struggling.

Your Roommate who’s apparently a star athlete and who invites you to all of his games as a front row seat. (he looks for your face in the crowds of thousands)

Your Roommate who teases you about your meal plans, but never complains about the food. In fact he himself has asked you to cook him food.

Your Roommate who sleeps in your bed with you because “your mattress is way better.”

Your Roommate who gets grumpy when you show up home late, he might just get impatient and show up to your work too.

AZUL ASHENGROTTO

Your Roommate who you moved in with purely just because of cheaper housing

Your Roommate who runs a restaurant and never fails to bring home your favourite after work

Your Roommate who has a collection of shiny things he sometimes shares and gifts to you

Your Roommate who you have to cuddle with because he’s always cold and you guys are late on paying bills

Your Roommate who pays your half of the rent just so you can take him on a dat— dinner out to repay him

Your Roommate who you share an umbrella with when it rains because you guys only have one collectively bought?

Your Roommate who you go grocery shopping with because your food is his food and you share the fridge

Your Roommate who gets jealous whenever you go out on dates with people.. (your not dating though)

KALIM AL ASIM

Your Roommate who has unending energy and literally wants to do everything with you

Your Roommate who never fails to invite you out when hes going to a party, or hanging out with his friends. Regardless if your an introvert or extrovert.

Your Roommate who is so fucking rich you even wonder why tf he’s sharing an apartment with a broke kid like you???

Your Roommate who pays your half of the rent because he wants you to be happy

Your Roommate who gets you so many gifts you don’t have enough room! and the gifts are kind of romantic too???

Your Roommate who’ll buy you anything if you even stare at something a bit too long

Your Roommate who never fails to wish you a good morning and good night.

Your Roommate who says I love you even if you don’t say it back (does he mean it in a platonic or romantic way???)

VIL SCHOENHEIT

Your Roommate who is LITERALLY FAMOUS???

Your Roommate who does your makeup and hair in the morning! Girls Night vibes.

Your Roommate who when out shopping will buy clothing for you that he thinks you’d look good in (he knows your sizes too!!)

Your Roommate who always holds the door open for you, regardless of where you are. Its only polite

Your Roommate who nags you about your skincare and buys expensive products and teaches you how to apply them

Your Roommate who you share towels with sometimes, and stealing blankets from each others rooms

Your Roommate who has an entire photo album made for you both, with a picture wall in his room.

Your Roommate who gives you a backstage seating to all of his movies, and meet and greets (although you technically don’t have to ‘meet’ him, he just wants more time with you… in a friendly way!)

IDIA SHROUD

Your Roommate who almost never leaves his room except for food 😭

Your Roommate who you play games with into the dusk of night, and you two end up sleeping on each other

Your Roommate who probably picks up stray cats (if your allergic thats fine, he hides them.. since they’re not allowed in the building)

Your Roommate who is a streamer, and you accidentally enter his streamer life by entering his room and asking what he wants for dinner. (his audience ships you both HARD)

Your Roommate who payed for your Wondercord nitro

Your Roommate who you caught writing roommate fanfiction of you both with the ‘roommates’ tag.

Your Roommate who you’ll see at 3am because you coincidentally decided you want both a meal at the same time (you end up eating together)

Your Roommate who will binge your favorite animes, movies, etc) just to have talk about them with you because he knows you love them.

MALLEUS DRACONIA

Your Roommate who’s adoptive father figure put you and Malleus under the “and they were roommates” audio on twsttok

Your Roommate who you spend holidays with, because they’re always more fun by each others side

Your Roommate who makes up silly excuses just to be with you, he wants to do things and learn things about ‘commoner’ (ouch) life with you

Your Roommate who stares at you when you do ANYTHING around the house with so much love its hard to consider it platonic

Your Roommate who calls you over simple problems just because he wants to talk to you (he’ll literally call because his “phone won’t turn on.” “malleus it is on.”)

Your Roommate who pretty much has his own space in your room because he’s in there so much.

Your Roommate who’ll accidentally stretch your clothes because he wants to wear them because they smell nice.

Your Roommate who’ll laugh at any joke you tell even if its the dumbest one ever. you said it so its endearing.

[gingiesworld]

Blossoms of Spring

Requested by @louxbloom hope you enjoy it buddy.

Wanda Maximoff x GN! Reader

Warnings: Smut. Fluff. Amab! Reader

18+ MINORS DNI

Wanda had been living with her parents since she graduated from college. Hoping to find a job in her old High School. Once she had gotten the job, Y/N was the first person she had told. Heading over to their apartment with a bottle of wine in her hand.

"Hey." They greeted her as she used her key that they had made for her.

"I got the job!" She squealed as Y/N was fast to bring her in for a hug.

"That's awesome Wanda!" They exclaimed as they ushered her inside. Grabbing two mugs as Wanda looked for the corkscrew.

"Where's the corkscrew?" She questioned as they smiled.

"In the shop with the glasses I have yet to buy." They told her as she just laughed. Watching as they got the boning knife from their fishing kit and took the cork out. "You're lucky I know my way around a knife."

"That's only thanks to your dad and his obsession over fishing." Wanda told them as they poured the two mugs out.

"To your future Wanda." They toasted her, clinking their mugs together before they ushered her into the living room. Of course she was fast enough to grab the wine and took her seat beside them.

"I can't wait to move out." Wanda told them as they smiled at her, listening to her rambling about growing up and paying her own way.

"Move in here." Y/N blurted out.

"What?" Wanda questioned as Y/N cleared their throat.

"Move in here, I have a spare room. It's close to the school and it will be nice to have the company." They told her as she smiled endearingly at them. "We can figure out the bills and rent once you're settled in and have your first pay check."

"You'd do that for me?" Wanda questioned as they nodded.

"You're my best friend Wanda." They told her, speaking the words that would hurt the two of them. As the week went on, Y/N had helped Wanda pack up her things at her parents. Y/N soon come across Wanda's nightstand, not realising that Wanda would be embarrassed. "You naughty girl." They teased Wanda as they held up a pink vibrator. "I thought you were innocent."

"I am." Wanda blushed as she moved them over to her drawers and took over her nightstand. Only to regret it when Y/N found her lacey thongs.

"Ooh my, a matching set." They teased her as they held up a red lacey lingerie set. "I bet you looked sexy for whoever you bought this for."

"You know very well that I haven't." Wanda snatched it from them. Scowling as they chuckled at her. But the image of Wanda in that specific set was now burned into their mind.

As Wanda had settled in her new home, Y/N had made sure that their were places she could hang her photos. They wanted her to feel at home in their apartment.

Over time, the two found it hard to ignore their feelings. Wanda would always blush at the simple gestures, like making her coffee when she doesn't expect it. Buying her flowers as they went to do the grocery shopping. Always telling her, 'I saw these and thought of you.' All the time as Wanda fell more and more for them.

The night they had put on Dick Van Dyke, Wanda's favourite episode and food from her favourite restaurant as she soaked in the bath after a hard day at work.

Once the food was eaten and the show was paused, Wanda turned to face Y/N with a questioning look on her face.

"Why do you do all of this?" She asked them as they sighed. Getting ready to tell her the truth about their feelings.

"I uh." They cleared their throat nervously as they turned to face her, gazing into her curious eyes as she hoped to hear what she wanted to hear. "I know we have been best friends forever and we have always been there for each other and over that time in High School." They took a deep breath. "I started to fall for you Wanda. The person you are, I love everything about you. I am in love with you Wanda and I know me say..."

Wanda never let them finish as she kissed them, their hands wrapping around her waist as they kissed her back. Wanda's hands wrapped around their neck as the kiss deepened.

Wanda soon straddled their lap and rolled her hips against their growing bulge. Wanda soon moaning as Y/N started to kiss down her neck. Sucking and licking as she moaned.

"Take me to your room." She told them breathlessly. They picked her up with ease, walking with her in their arms. Letting her feet touch the floor as the two stripped.

"You are beautiful Wanda." Y/N told her softly. Their hands wrapping around her waist, the two gasping at the skin contact before Wanda reached up and caressed their face, leaning up to take their lips in her own. Y/N guiding her to lay down on their bed, hovering above her, gazing into her eyes.

A lot being said in one intense gaze before they leaned in, kissing her tenderly before they ran a lone finger through her folds. Teasing her entrance as they kiss her lips, soon to be swallowing her moans at they fingered her.

The pleasure was intense in that moment, Wanda had given herself over to them. Every part of her was theirs and theirs alone. Even as they thrust their hips into her as the night wore on. Many positions as the two never wanted to be apart in any way.

It was sunrise when the two had finally finished, Wanda lay in Y/N's arms as the morning sun shone through the window. A perfect view of the blossom trees in the quad could be seen. Spring becoming their favourite season as the love they felt for one another had blossomed into something more breathtakingly intense.

"What does this mean for us?" Wanda whispered as she traced patterns on Y/N's stomach.

"Well, I don't want this to be just for tonight." Y/N confessed. "I want it to be for now, forever. You are my forever Wanda and I would love to see many more blossoms in the spring with you lay in my arms."

"I love you so much." Wanda whispered as she kissed them passionately. Looking forward to the challenges that lay ahead for the two to tackle as one.

[reverieaudios]

How were you able to move out of your parents house?

The short answer is that I went to college 8 hours away from my dad's place and was lucky enough to get quite a bit of funding from scholarships and grants

The long answer (if you're looking for advice) I'll put under the cut

Saving money was very difficult growing up because most of it went toward family bills/groceries, so I totally get that saving up can be hard, but you'll need some if you're planning to move out. So first things first is to get some sort of job.

Also, this was what I did, and is by no means the only/best way to do things. Use your own discretion to decide what will work for you.

So basically, my process (which could be different in some ways if you aren't from the us) to move out was:

1: Start building credit - If you're starting from nothing with no other credit lines (like student or car loans), then the easiest to get is usually a secured credit card with a low limit. Use about 10% of your limit a month (so if your limit is $200, don't spend more than $20 a month with the card. I recommend just putting some kind of bill on it). Make sure to pay it off fully every month by the due date, but don't pay it so early that the card company doesn't get the chance to report your usage to the credit bureaus. If they can't report that you're using the card then your credit won't grow.

2. Save as much money as you can. To rent an apartment, you'll need a minimum of the first and last month's rent + the security deposit (which in my experience is usually close to a month's rent). There's also the cost of the move itself- can you move your stuff there on your own/with friends/family, or do you need to rent a uhaul or hire movers? Are you staying in the same town/city or moving hours away? Those things all factor into the cost to move out.

I'd also recommend saving as much as you can in an emergency fund. The more, the better. Obviously times are tough right now so saving a lot might not be feasible, but if you can have enough saved up to cover at least a month or two of rent+bills+food then that'd be good. I'd also set aside $100-200 for random little expenses when you first move out, little things like to pop up like that.

3. Pay attention to the things you use all the time at your parents' place, the things that would really suck to even go a day or two without, and slowly starting buying some for yourself. I split my list into three- the things I used every day, the things I used maybe once a week, and the things that I used, but not often enough to make buying them a priority.

4. Look for roommate(s). Chances are you'll have a hard time moving out without getting a roommate or two, so moving in with a friend, a friend of a friend, someone from a facebook group or off of the many roommate search websites out there is probably the way to go. Be careful living with a friend, though, people aren't kidding when they say moving in together can turn best friends into enemies

5. If needed, find a guarantor. When applying to rent a place, landlords usually look for credit score, proof of sufficient income, and rental history. But if you're just moving out for the first time, you probably only have two of those things. In that case, they may ask for a guarantor. That's someone who does meet all the previous criteria who will sign your lease with you. They won't be a tenant, but if you don't pay rent/there's some other issue, then the landlord can go to the guarantor and make them pay what you couldn't. It can be a family member, a friend, whoever, as long as you trust each other to not screw each other over. There are also professional guarantors who you can hire to sign on. (If you have roommates, sometimes landlords will kind of pool all of your qualifications together so a guarantor might not always be needed in that case)

6. Budget. To know what you can afford for rent, add all your current monthly bills + expenses (round them all up a bit to be safe), and google things like "average electricity/water/gas/grocery/etc bill *insert your city here*" to get an idea of what you'll be spending every month. Then take your monthly income (round this number down a bit to be safe) and subtract your expenses from it. That'll give you the most you can afford to spend on rent.

Hopefully this helped a bit!

[nanamismoonchild]

hi i would like to request something 😄 could you write about the reader having toxic parents so jimin comforts her like he’s always holding her hand or caressing her cheek and he speaks to her very softly oh and also gentle kisses? and one day the members asks him why he’s acting this way towards her and you can imagine the rest<33

parentification

pairing: bf!jimin x gf!reader (established relationship au)

wc: 1.2k

warnings: being parentified, ungrateful sister and parents, basically the family ain't and will never be shit (maybe), cursing

a/n: im gonna ignore that this is all the way from february, and simply present this and run away. please enjoy :D

Jimin was heated. He had watched you have a full on argument with your parents about whether or not you needed to pay rent for an apartment your little sister was on the verge of getting kicked out of. 

Their logic was: 

Your boyfriend was mega rich.  

That was it.  That was all they had to say.  It didn’t matter how many times you told them that you were responsible for yourself and rarely asked Jimin for any help. It didn’t matter how many times you told them that you were already paying for college and all the expenses that came with that. Your only saving grace was living with Jimin that helped alleviate your own burdens.  

Nothing mattered except your sister’s rent which she was already four months behind on. Why the landlord let her stay there for that long is beyond both you and Jimin. That was almost two thousand dollars they wanted from you, and you had no plans on giving it. 

You had already paid the time and patience when you were younger, having to hustle to pay the light bill and buy groceries so you and she wouldn’t starve to death. You had barely managed to go to your prom had it not been for your school librarian taking pity and paying for your dress and dues.

So no, you wouldn’t sacrifice anything now. 

Did it hurt to have to tell your sheltered sister no? Of course.

Tears streamed down your face as you remembered how your sister had practically called you selfish and dishonorable. Refusing to admit she was the one who needed to take responsibility for her own carelessness. 

And that’s why Jimin found himself parking on the side of the road, heaving you over the console, and hugging you until you stopped shaking and hugged him back. Small kisses placed on your cheeks and a few caresses of your back and you were more than okay. 

“Thank you Minnie.”

“____, you don’t need to lend a penny to those people.”

“Those people are my family, Minnie. What else am I supposed to do?”

“Let them deal with it. Your sister dug herself into shit, let her pull herself out. It’s time you stop giving them things when they haven't given you anything. ____, I can’t even remember them actually giving you a gift for Christmas. In fact, I clearly remember last year’s Christmas, and you had to give your mom, sister, and father gift cards all worth two hundred dollars because they stomped all over you. Baby, fuck them.”

Jimin’s words were hitting home and it made you worse. More tears fell as you nodded, agreeing with him. It was time to cut off contact. As much as you hated it. 

Taking a deep breath, you crawled back over to the passenger seat. 

“Ready to get moving again, or do you need a moment?”

“I’m ready Jimin.”

Meeting with Namjoon and Yoongi had been the plan for today, even though Jimin had wanted to stay home and love on you all day. However, neither of the older men were having it and basically forced him to meet them in Yoongi’s studio. 

“You need to stop being so clingy to ___. Otherwise, she’s going to get uncomfortable,” Yoongi said as he opened an unfinished song that the three of them were working on. 

“I disagree with that, Yoongi. ____ acts the same way. I wonder what Jimin has done to earn that type of love,” Namjoon jokes. 

Jimin rolled his eyes and waved the two of them off. Not his or your fault that you cared deeply for each other. 

“So funny. Anyway, Namjoon, you know a lot about different things. Can you help me with something? I need some advice,” Jimin asked. 

Namjoon turned swiftly away from his computer giving Jimin his attention. “Sure. If I can help, I will.”

“OK. ___ has been having some family trouble for a while. And yesterday was terrible. I told her to move on from her family, but now I’m wondering if that was shitty advice.”

Yoongi spoke up first. “No. If her family ain’t shit, they’re not worth having in her life. Mind telling us what they did.”

“Not really my place. But basically, and ___ has told me this, they’ve parentified her.”

“What’s that?” His older brothers asked at the same time. 

“It’s when a child gets the role of a parent to their siblings or parent. So they have to act as the caregiver at a young age. ___ has been in the parent role for a long time, and they can’t seem to let go of the fact that she’s no longer able to be controlled by them.”

“That sounds like a problem for them. ____ is definitely able to cut ties with them. I think you have her good advice.”

“I agree with Namjoon. Good advice. If she decides to cut ties, and they somehow figure out they were extreme assholes and apologize, it would be up to her to figure out whether or not she wants to repair the ties she cut,” Yoongi cosigned. 

Jimin nodded and made a mental note to tell you that. 

“Anymore questions? I want to get started on recording this song and put the finishing touches if we need any. 

“Nope.”

“_____!” Jimin called out into the apartment. 

“Minnie, I’m here in the kitchen. I got hungry.”

Jimin pouted as he held the bag of fried rice tightly. “But I already picked up food.” He strolled into the kitchen to see you already scarfing down some ramen. 

“I’m always down for fried rice. I’ll eat some after I finish this.”

Jimin pouted more, but poured a few spoonfuls of the rice into a bowl for him and a few for you.

“How’d the recording go?” You asked him taking a spoonful of your rice. 

Jimin groaned and swiped a hand through his hair, “An intern came in to help us add some beats, and then accidentally deleted everything we worked on. We tried to just take it out of the recycle bin, but apparently, things like that, just get straight up deleted. So now we have to start completely over from scratch.” “Aw, I’m sorry Minnie. How’d they even manage to do that?”

“Beats me, baby. How was your day?”

When you didn’t respond right away, he glanced up from his bowl and eyed you. You were suddenly pushing rice around your face, refusing to look at him. 

“____? What’s up?”

“Imayhavewentaheadandpaidformysister’sbullshitrentandthentoldallofthemtokissmyblackass.” You said in a rush. 

If Jimin hadn’t been paying close attention, he might’ve missed everything. 

“You paid?”

You nodded, meeting his eyes.  “And told them that if they wanted anything else from me, they would have to come find me. They humiliated me yesterday. I refuse to take anything else from them. So like I said, they can kiss my black ass.”

Jimin’s eyes were wide as he started clapping for you. Your face heated, but a smile was slowly spreading. 

“You should’ve seen the look on their face, Minnie. Priceless,” you laughed and then gasped as you remembered another detail. “And guess what else I did!”

“Middle finger?” “No, but I should have,” you said. “But I had printed out several companies that were hiring around my sister’s place, put it in an envelope, and chucked it at her face!”

“That’s not as badass as you think it is, love.”

“I will not hesitate to cut you off too, Park Jimin.”

[nights-pool]

there is a fire outside my building and i would stay here in bed, but i am in charge. the metaphors write themselves. i cannot sleep tonight, i am trying to think of how to talk to you. how can i be kind when i am upset, how can i be upset when i try to be kind. id rather not say anything at all, but i have to. i don’t want to mess it all up, like i did last time.

you are smart. you are smarter than me with emotions, much so. if i could run my phrasing by you, i would.

how have you gotten this far without a plan!? you are older than me! why did you make these decisions!? and now you’re upset with the consequences? why did you move here? why aren’t you helping yourself??? am i allowed to be upset about having to help you? why didn’t you think this through???! you are smart!! this is not smart!!!!! didn’t you think it would all catch up with you? don’t you think it would feel better if you did anything at all???

i cannot talk about this with you because i am so fucking pissed. im annoyed. i learned all this shit already. but im not angry at you. im upset because i was forced into this. i struggle, i have mental illness, i feel fucking awful and i have for a long time. but i grew up without support. and i was forced to support myself. in every way. i chose this school because i wanted to be far away from my family. i chose this school and made a poor financial decision because i had to get away, and i accepted that it would be a fucking struggle to get through it. i worked long hours at the restaurant with no breaks and shit management at the same time i was full time in school and paying rent and bills. and i kept track of my own financial aid and applied for scholarships and better jobs constantly. and i got turned down from getting mental health care. they actually told me “we can’t help you.” and it was awful! and i had a lot of bad days!! but i stuck it out for a year. and i put in the work to make things better for myself. none of this was handed to me. none of it was easy. i want to tell you that you have it fucking easy. you have nothing else to do besides work. you get to live alone, without roommates. you have a working computer and internet. you have food stamps to buy groceries. you have more time than you think. you have a therapist and you can go to the psychiatrist. you have a parent that you can talk to about your emotions. you have a partner that is doing shit for you so you can have the right information for these huge fucking life decisions. you have so many things in place for success. and you are being so stupid.

my point is that it is not easy. it is never easy. but there is only one thing that you can do to make it easier. you have to put in the fucking hard work. you cannot keep living like this.

[euripitaes]

An Open Letter to College Graduates Who Oppose Student Loan Forgiveness

Dear graduate,

I am one of the 43 million Americans with federal student loan debt. I’m one of the 20 million Americans that would’ve had their debt completely erased by President Biden’s original loan forgiveness plan. Since the Supreme Court shut down this plan in 2023, the Biden administration has implemented several rounds of more targeted plans for borrowers across the country. None of these plans have applied to me. 

I am a first-generation American. My parents did not go to college in the U.S. Back home, my parents make just enough to pay rent, bills and groceries. Given the chance to attend one of the finest journalism schools in the country, I took it with a little help from our friends at the U.S. Department of Education.

Now, I’m 8 months away from my graduation. My parents make the same amount they did in 2021 when I got accepted into school. Rent has gone up. According to the Department of Education, interest rates have nearly doubled[i]. Cost of attendance for my last year of college nears $100,000. I am about to step into one of the most difficult job markets in the past decade[ii].  And alongside surviving, I must worry about my student loan debt.

But you are so vocal about denying me this relief. Any government action is met with intense backlash. You say I should be responsible for my economic choices. That it will ruin the economy. That my college degree is setting me up for enough success to pay my loans back on my own. But most of all, you say it is unfair.

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell once said loan forgiveness is “a slap in the face to every family who sacrificed to save for college, every graduate who paid their debt, and every American who chose a certain career path or volunteered to serve in our Armed Forces in order to avoid taking on debt.”[iii]

McConnell might not be your spokesperson, but his point is not lost on me. 

In this economy, it’s survival of the fittest. If you’ve spent years of your life and thousands of your hard-earned money paying back loans, a benefit like this that doesn’t apply to you feels like an insult; a missed opportunity to relieve the burden you once had.

The human mind is practically programmed for fairness. The areas of our brain associated with reward and punishment are activated with negative emotional responses when we’re faced with unfair outcomes[iv]. These are emotional responses that arise quickly and automatically, not deliberately and rationally[v].

But beyond the psychology, I understand the anxieties of financial insecurity. 

There’s nothing quite like financial fear, watching the tax rate and the price of everything inch higher and higher. If you’re already struggling to finance your own life, the idea of having to bear the consequences of something you played no part in sounds like an affront. Your frustrations are heard. But I urge you to consider the conditions of borrowers today. 

The average size of debt has increased from just over $10,000 in the mid-90s, to about $30,000[vi]. Difficulty repaying this hefty sum is disproportionately felt by low-income, first generation and racial minority students[vii]. They have lower incomes post-graduation. And debt is barring young adults from significant life milestones like getting married, starting a family and buying a house or a car[viii]. Our lives are stuck in a limbo, with our debt standing as a dam to our personal success. 

Even so, it is not only young college graduates faced with this burden. Loan forgiveness would impact millions of borrowers aged 50 or older[ix]. It is a multigenerational problem, impacting mostly low-income borrowers, not necessarily the affluent and successful that can repay their loans by themselves. 

If you care little for the flow of our lives, consider this: Rising student debt is harming the economy we all participate in. Debt prohibits people from participating in our economy[x]. More disposable income could stimulate growth and boost the nation’s real GDP by $20 billion[xi].

A benefit that does not impact you triggers feelings of anger and frustration almost as instinctual as taking a breath of air. And with the financial fear that looms over us all, I cannot blame you for the pushback you’ve championed against Biden’s forgiveness plans.

That financial fear, however, leads me and other borrowers in the opposite direction. Understand me as I’ve tried to understand you. I am facing a much different economic landscape than even five years ago. I am scared for the day I leave the confines of my education and begin to live in a world that keeps on asking when I don’t have much to give. 

Were you not once in my place? Do you remember the anxieties that sat in the pit of your stomach as graduation approached? What would loan forgiveness have meant for you?

For me, it could be a lifeline amidst a raging storm. And I shall wait to see if it’ll come my way.

Best, 

L.C.

Sources:

[i] “Interest Rates and Fees for Federal Student Loans.” Federal Student Aid. Accessed April 19, 2024. https://studentaid.gov/understand-aid/types/loans/interest-rates.

[ii] Smith, Morgan. “Finding a Job Is Getting Harder Even in a Strong Labor Market: ‘It’s Just a Mess,’ Says Recruiting pro.” CNBC, February 16, 2024. https://www.cnbc.com/2024/02/16/finding-a-job-is-getting-harder-even-in-a-strong-labor-market-heres-why.html.

[iii] “McConnell: Student Loan Socialism a ‘Slap in the Face’ to Working Families: Republican Leader.” Republican Leader Mitch McConnell | Press Releases, August 24, 2022. https://www.republicanleader.senate.gov/newsroom/press-releases/mcconnell-student-loan-socialism-a-slap-in-the-face-to-working-families-.

[iv] Tabibnia, Golnaz. “Are Humans Hardwired for Fairness?” Association for Psychological Science - APS, April 15, 2008. https://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/releases/are-humans-hardwired-for-fairness.html.

[v] Tabibnia, Golnaz. “Are Humans Hardwired for Fairness?” Association for Psychological Science - APS, April 15, 2008. https://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/releases/are-humans-hardwired-for-fairness.html.

[vi] “Quick Facts about Student Debt.” The Institute for College and Success, April 2019. https://ticas.org/wp-content/uploads/legacy-files/legacy/files/pub/2003-04_quick_facts.pdf.

[vii] Walsh, Kate Padgett. “The Ethics of Canceling Student Debt Is More about Fairness than Broken Promises.” The Conversation, October 28, 2022. https://theconversation.com/the-ethics-of-canceling-student-debt-is-more-about-fairness-than-broken-promises-193288.

[viii] Walsh, Kate Padgett. “The Ethics of Canceling Student Debt Is More about Fairness than Broken Promises.” The Conversation, October 28, 2022. https://theconversation.com/the-ethics-of-canceling-student-debt-is-more-about-fairness-than-broken-promises-193288.

[ix] Banerjee, Asha. “Ten Reasons to Cancel Student Loan Debt.” The Center for Law and Social Policy, January 2021. https://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/ED610484.pdf.

[x] “Is Rising Student Debt Harming the U.S. Economy?” Council on Foreign Relations, April 16, 2024. https://www.cfr.org/backgrounder/us-student-loan-debt-trends-economic-impact.

[xi] “Student Loan Debt Elimination - Pros & Cons.” ProCon.org, June 30, 2023. https://www.procon.org/headlines/should-student-loan-debt-be-easier-to-discharge-in-bankruptcy-top-3-pros-cons/.

[supernaturalkickparty]

That sounds like a really unfair situation for you. Why do you have to pay rent twice a month and buy groceries for everyone, AND help out with your mom's bills? That sounds like youre being very generous but not getting any gratitude for it. I know we don't do things for gratitude, but it would still be nicer than how you're currently being treated.

Is there any friends or family you know who is renting a room or a place that could help you out, that you could rent while you save up for your own place? It sounds like it would be cheaper than your current living situation.

I'm sorry for being so nosey, I have my own hyper critical/abusive mom and it pains me to see people going through something similar without being able to get away from it. Family always has a very specific way of getting under your skin and being able to hurt you.

Unfortunately we have no other family we can go to and I don't have any friends anymore. My mom has kept me isolated from everyone because she don't like any of my friends.

I'm a 35 yr old mom who takes care of my entire household and have no one.

Me and my husband were talking for a little bit and he was saying if one of the modular homes is available for rent near where his dad lives we may look into it.

Sadly most rent in the area is about 1,500 a month and that's his whole check right there on a good week if he got a fuck load of overtime.

This income season I need to tell her no and try to find our own place and hope she don't try to take my son away since she throws it in my face that in Texas grandparents can get custody of the grandkids if they can prove the parents aren't responsible.

Which my mother is petty she would do that.

[silfron]

As a usamerican who now makes 6 figures I can tell you I am solidly middle class. And I'll probably get hate for it but it's true. I am truly, truly lucky that I am where I am; that I don't have to worry about bills usually, that when we needed to replace a car we were able to do that, that we can get groceries without having to think too hard about it. But I'll probably never be able to retire. A really bad accident or medical problem would still very possibly make me homeless. I probably won't have anything to will off when I die. I can't have kids, and I wouldn't want to, but I couldn't afford them anyway if I did. Suddenly needing new tires or an unexpected ER visit won't fuck my whole year, but it will fuck me for a month or two. That's what middle class is, what it's supposed to be. You're mostly fine, and you'll stay fine, as long as nothing catastrophic happens.

Lower class is that razor's edge, and I've lived there too. You don't know if you can cover all your bills, and sometimes you can't. You don't have enough time to sleep because you need 3 jobs and a side hustle to even have a chance. You have to budget your food hard and read all the ads and coupons. And even then, 3 meals a day? Ha! Maybe if I can bum one off my parents. I get that, I did that. But a lot of people think that's what middle class is because that's the majority now and the majority is supposed to be middle class! So that's middle class. But it's NOT. You're being scammed by the rich into thinking this is normal, and it so so so is NOT.

The rich have all those things the middle class have but they don't have mortgages (or if they do, you're paying them with your rent). They could quit their job with no notice and be fine (I can't do that) - assuming they have a job in the first place. They can buy a new car outright the way I buy groceries (I can't do that). They not only don't worry about bills but they don't worry about optional expenses either - "want to go to France? Just buy a ticket! What do you mean you need to save up for that? Just take it from your savings! What do you mean your savings are a few hundred dollars that you need for emergencies?" THAT's rich people. @galadriel1010's analysis is SPOT FUCKING ON.

And my gods, having been lower class and now being middle class I GET IT. The improvement is drastic, and so, so, so relieving. 23 year old me looking at me now would probably think I'm rich because the gap is so wide. But that's just a lack of experience talking. It's hard to see the next gap up when you're looking at it from below. The gap between the lower class rung and middle class is way bigger than it should be, for sure. But the gap between middle and upper? Barring a miracle, it's not climbable. You won't. I won't. We can't. And that's by design.

The fact that I'm so fucking lucky to be where I am is a GODSDAMN PROBLEM. The middle class SHOULD BE the fucking majority. But it isn't.

i can't stop thinking about the results of that 65k income poll. i've spent my entire life straddling the poverty line so i understand feeling like even just another 10k would assuage my anxieties, but good fucking lord the ultra-wealthy are absolutely winning this class war if the economic policies they have influenced have convinced so many people that an income that can't even afford to own a home or raise a child is 'rich'.

i really, really hope the majority of those votes are from non-americans applying usd conversion rates to their own currency's purchasing power.

[daily-thoughts96]

This whole roommate situation is starting to cause me to be overwhelmed and drained to the point where i don't know what to do with it anymore. My roommate seems to lack understanding of how i'm feeling in this situation. He doesn't care except for my husbands point of view on everything. Involving me just makes him pissed off and angry for no absolute reason. He talks about my husband making changes in his life, but he changed too? My husband changed for a better future, not changing who he is as a person. But my roommate changed as a person. He's not who he says he is and his behavior is beyond my imagination. You'd think therapy would be an outlet to let him know how to properly heal and approach situations. I haven't involved any friends or family in our situation until we were told he was talking to other people. He's told more than three people about the situation and yet, we've only told two friends and my sister about what is happening right now. We didn't involve anyone. We discussed how difficult life has been, but never extended into the whole situation. We kept it on the down low and thought it would be better to keep it between the people who are on the lease of the apartment. Times are tough, but our roommate made it worst. I detect his lies when he speaks about certain things. A liar to me can be spotted a mile away. When you grow up with narcissistic parents, you catch on to lies after cutting them out of your life for good. Now, i wish the situation was better, and not so gruesome, but he made it clear what his intentions are. We are starting to plan ahead with apartments, manufactured homes, or campers to decide what our next place to go is. This whole situation isn't new to us, and we are struggling with the high prices just as much as anyone else is. It's difficult and unruly. We are expected to get our life together, but the economy is screwing with that. Jobs screwing us over, or more so bosses at those jobs. We are expected to live bland, and small. No love to our home. No decor, not comfort. Nothing. We are living within our means, and sometimes we splerg on ourselves because we need a little pick me up. My husband and i aren't perfect by all means. We make mistakes. We don't have it figured out. Some people don't figure it out until they are fifty, or not even at all. My husband and i are in survival mode, and nothing compares to anything else. Would we like to be in a better place? Yes. But sometimes life is just so fucked. This roommate situation is just repeating factors. Except this time i'm being told we are using our roommate, which is wrong on all parts. Some people see using as, you refuse to pay for things. You refuse to help. But my husband and i aren't like that. We want to make sure we do our part, but right now it's not easy. My view of using a person is draining them of every penny they got. I don't ask my roommate for money to pay for our groceries. I don't ask him for money to pay for our hygeine products. I don't ask him to drive me everywhere i need to go. I don't ask him to feed my cat. I don't ask him to pay my other bills(not including rent with those bills). I know how it feels to be drained of every penny. My biological birth giver drained my husband and i of money. She never paid me to watch my siblings while she was at work. She never paid me back the money i helped with paying HER car payments and insurance. She never paid me back for buying my siblings food that she was supposed to buy. She never paid me back for the electronics i had to buy for her. She never paid me back for the wifi i was paying for. I know how it feels to actually be used. It's narcissistic tendencies. I would have had $5,000 saved in a savings account and building interest, but my adopted older sister screwed me out of that. Used me to pawn her own gain. If being paid back is more important than making sure we are actually doing okay, then you have issues. I've loaned money to my sister. And she always paid me back. She's loaned me money, and i always paid her back. I just want better..

[apollo-zero-one]

I love my parents and they undeniably do a lot for me and as a member of this family I should be a team player and stick it out. But also. I think my life would genuinely be so much better if I cut my parents off from my bank account and moved out. They try both they are so fucking financially irresponsible and it is like actually ruining my life I think. And I know they have good intentions but when I mention maybe wanting to move out they immediately go on about how much harder it would be and how it involves so much more than just paying rent- okay! Teach me then! I am not allowed to see any of the bills in this household. That my entire paycheck and then some goes toward. I let my mom know I had a credit card and she asked to borrow it a handful of times and it is maxed out. My bank account is always negative because she has a debit card on it. I spend maybe $40 total every two weeks and I'm here feeling miserable and guilty about it because it's making my account so much more negative and she has purchased my baby sister a new backpack. Which is fine. It's not a bad thing, alone. It's just that it's all. The. Time. And my stepdad gets on her ass about it and that forces me to take her side even though I don't agree with her because He's Doing The Same Shit!! Worse even because he doesn't TELL US ANYTHING. We all agreed to cancel all of our subscriptions in an attempt to get out of the hole and who do I find watching fucking Hulu with his secret account he made separate from the family one. Bringing home individual snacks and drinks from the overpriced corner store- and getting pissy when I say he needs to cut it out. I'm not fucking saying you can't have snacks!! I'm saying buy them from the goddamn grocery store and divide them into baggies!! The cost of a party size bag of chips and a box of sandwich sized baggies is significantly less than the cost of one single serving bag of chips every day for a week and WE. ARE. IN. DEBT. I don't fucking understand how he's got negative a thousand dollars or fucking whatever and can justify this shit. And he's the one who is always bringing it up as if he isn't just as guilty as my mom! My brother has it right, he never tells our parents where he is, what he's doing, or how much he makes. They don't know how much he works or how much money he has and he is never reliably home so he isn't asked to do things. While I, I am sharing everything I have and I thought I was helping my family through a hard time but I think I'm just enabling their irresponsibility.

And I am currently trying to figure out how to talk to them about this without it turning into a fight. I don't know if I'm going to be able to stay calm because I finally passed the threshold from defeated to just absolutely fucking seething. You are both nearly fifty fucking years old and it should not have been on me as your child to realize as my credit score tanks and my bank leaves me threatening voicemails that helping my family is financially irresponsible.

I love my family so much and it is hurting me so, so bad to get the perspective that they are a sinking ship dragging me down with them. There isn't, actually, anything I can do to help. Maybe if I do just fucking leave it'll be the kick in the ass they need to actually change. What are my other options? Lecturing them? Guilting them? Screaming at them? They already know I'm upset. Of course I'm upset.

And I'm not innocent of spending more than I should every now and then but it's never more than I was confident I had and it always was a punch to the gut when I wake up the next day and my account is hundreds of dollars negative because of something my mother did. I don't even fucking know what.

Yeah, living by myself might be hard, but at least I'll actually know and have control over everything going on. At least when my account goes negative I will know exactly why and be able to prevent it the next time. I can learn. I need to get out of this helpless, hopeless situation before it kills me.

[oldsalempost-blog]

The Old Salem Post

                  Our  Local Tamassee-Salem SC Area News each Monday except holidays                                          Contact: theoldsalempost@gmail.com                              Distributed to local businesses, town hall, library.                            Volume 7 Issue 30                                                                                                  Week of August 7, 2023                https://www.tumblr.com/settings/blog/oldsalempost-blog                                                         Lynne Martin Publishing

EDITOR:  Likely no one can dispute the need for Keowee Elementary to have a new facility.   That is not the case for our beautiful Tamassee-Salem Elementary If you have an interest in trying to keep our Tamassee-Salem Elementary School from closing you need to do something:  write letters to the school board, fill out the (absurd) survey online, or call up other parents and grandparents and join us at the next Oconee County School Board meeting on Monday, August 14th at 6:30pm at the Seneca High School.   (This is not the normal location or time due to summer graduation taking place at the Seneca High School.)   You may call the administrative office at 864-886-4400 to be a speaker.  You can just show up with a polite sign with a message to save the school.  Now is not the time to be silent.  LMartin

Town of SALEM:  Election: The Town of Salem will be holding election for Mayor and 2 Council seats.     held Nov 7, 2023 at the Salem Town Hall.  Candidate filing is from Friday Aug 11, noon  through noon Monday Aug 25th. Candidates must reside within the Salem town limits…..We will begin collecting Toys for Tots on Sept 9th, 5pm at the last summer Car/Truck/Motorcycle & Jeep show.  Fire Dept will be selling burgers and more for their local Christmas fundraising.  There will be first and second places for car show exhibits and for the group and/or club who brings the most toys. We are asking all local churches and businesses to participate to fill up our boxes.  We helped 94 children have Christmas last year within the Tamassee-Salem area.  944-2819.                                                                 ***Visit the Downtown Market every Sat 8am-12pm.                                                                                                                         *The children’s area at the Town park is closed for now for renovations.  The picnic shelter can still be rented. County National Awareness Day: Friday, August 11  9am-1pm Across from Salem Fire Department:  free smoke detectors, information on emergency situations and more.  

Jottings from Jeannie: Our Bible study encourages us to BALANCE diligence in our work with rest and prayer.  A widow  shared that living alone, she MUST be diligent.  Her day is busy caring for her house, yard, and pets.  Then she must buy groceries, pay bills, and finally before she goes to bed, she must be sure that the doors are locked and the security system is set. FINALLY, she may rest.  Her reward for a day of diligence is a night of deep rest. Rather than fretting over neglected duties, Kathy is thankful for her blessings and remembers the sick and the lonely in her prayers.  Her life is balanced.  She is at peace... You Princesses of Picket Post!  You Kings of Keowee!  Let's follow Kathy's example.  Use your time to complete  housework rather than wasting time watching junk TV. -- Then Your Heavenly Father will hear your prayers and grant you  sound sleep and energy for the new day!  Miz Jeannie Loves You!!!                                                                                                                            

JOCASSEE VALLEY BREWING COMPANY,(JVBC) & COFFEE SHOP 13412 N Hwy 11 Open  Wed–Sat-Sat 8am-9pm. Sun: 12pm-7pm.  Events this week:  Thurs:  Kiss My Asada Food Truck 5pm.  Old Time Jam at 6:30pm Fri–  Food: RAD DAD’s BBQ  at 5pm  Music: Greysin Slade at 6:30pm.  Sat–Food: Iron Pig 12pm—Music: Freddie Vanderford & Brandon Turner  6:30pm.  Conservation Libation Release Collaboration with Golden Grove Brewery at 5pm.  Sun: 12pm-7pm Food Truck: Lobster Dogs starts at 12noon.  Music Fayssoux McLean & Brandon Turner  at 1:30pm and  Brenda Turner  at 4pm    More information call  864-873-0048          

THE PENDING COFFEE:   We were sitting in a small coffee shop and two customers arrived.  “ Five coffees please, two for us and three pending.”    They paid for five and only get two.     I asked, “ What is pending coffee?” and was told to wait and see. Two more customers arrived and paid for their two coffees.   After a while  three more customers came in and ordered seven coffees.  Three for now and four pending.    While I was there what appeared to be a homeless man entered the shop.  He approached the counter and with a soft quite voice he asked,  “ Do you have any pending coffee?”      This type of charity began in Naples, Italy.       People who are able pay ahead for coffee or meals for those who cannot.  story is shared by OSP reader J.C.

Here is the CONCLUSION of Pauline Kelley Cannon's story:                                DAR SCHOOL STUDENT FROM 1942-46 RECALLS:  (Nineteenth and Final Installment of Pauline Kelley Cannon's Memoir). . . A LOOK BACK. . .I still have the footlocker in my attic if the rust hasn't eaten it up. I also kept my boat, but after Ernest and I got married it got left behind somewhere as we were moving from one place to another. . .There are many new buildings that have been built at Tamassee since I went to school there. They include the new dining hall, the auditorium, the gymnasium, the North Carolina Gibson Chapel, the Michigan Building, the California Building, and the New York Cottage. The infirmary is now a daycare facility. They also have a new water plant and have built a new building on Highway 11 for the rummage sales. I'm sure there are some more that I have forgotten. . .Some buildings that were there while I was there are gone. The Indiana Cottage and the Scout Hut were torn down, and the Ohio Hobart Hall burned down in 1988. . .Each time I go back to Tamassee to visit, I feel as if I have left a part of me there, and I am homesick for at least a week before I get over it. I have so many memories of friends and teachers that I learned to love while I was there. . .I thank God for Tamassee. It is truly the place of the sunlight of God!!. . .END OF STORY (Footnote written by Ashton Hester: As I said at the outset of this story, sadly, Mrs. Cannon died a few years ago, but not before being able to tell her story!)

EAGLES NEST ART CENTER , 501c3, 4 Eagle Lane, Salem                            DHEC kitchen available & rentals

TALENT SHOWCASE:  August 12th.  7pm-9pm.  Come to be entertained! Tickets $5 at the door.  Call 864-280-1258 or email eaglesnestartcenter@gmail.com.  Doors open at 6pm for general admission.  Treasure store will be open.

SONGS of the COWBOY Trail- Aug. 19th, 7pm– Jef Wilson sings the songs of Gene Autry, Bob Wills, Cowboy Copas and others.  Show only  $10 or Cowboy Dinner & Show $20. Tickets available on the eaglesnestartcenter.org website on Ticketleap or at the Town or Salem. Or, call 864-280-1258

                                             CHURCH NEWS                                              Bethel Presbyterian Church (PCUSA) 580 Bethel Church Rd, Walhalla, 29691 Worship at 10:30 am. Sermon: Sunday, August 6. Message by Mel Davis  "Who Do We Trust?", Scripture reading: Hebrews 13:1-8,15-16.   The remainder of August: Aug. 13, by George Harper, Aug. 20, by George Harper; August 27, by Mel Davis. Come as you are. All are welcome.                                                                                                                                                                                     Salem Methodist Church:  Community Women’s Bible Study each Monday morning, 10am in the Fellowship Hall. Worship Service each Sunday at 10:30am.  Sunday School at 9:30am.  Sunday Breakfast at 9:00am

Quote this week by inspirational speaker, Sharon Jaynes, and author of When You don't Like your Story.   “It’s not how you start. It’s how you finish.”   I found her on 96.7 at 8am Focus on the Family ministry broadcast.  Tune in each weekday to uplifting encouragement and inspiration for life, and  keeping families and marriages together.  She spoke of real life disappointments and how God uses these to prepare us for what is next. I love to tune in daily!  LRM                                                                                                                                   ****Please send news, stories, and church events to theoldsalempost@gmail.com to share in your local paper!                                                         

Happy Birthday Sister Sherry!  L

[my-ass-as-cold-as-mars]

How am I supposed to get out of poverty?

I am open to suggestions, but guaranteed, I have already tried or cant do most of them.

I am so tired of being poor and being shit on because I'm poor. As if I could be more financially stable if I wasnt "lazy". Please, someone tell me how to get out of this pit of despair, because I'm not seeing a ladder.

I had to go home early from work the other day because I hadnt eaten a proper meal in 2 1/2 days. My manager told me I cant use this "excuse" again, as if not having money for groceries is an excuse. How can I not have money for groceries? Budgeting tips like cancelling subscriptions, shopping in bulk, not going out so much etc. dont apply when you have $10/week to spend on food. I don't go out. I dont spend money on lavish things. I dont waste money, because I HAVE NONE.

In the past month I have made less than $500. My rent is more than that. I also have bills to pay, food to buy, and life saving meds that I cant live without. How am I supposed to get out of poverty?

Get a job?

I have two. One hasnt scheduled me in over 2 MONTHS because I took 1 week of sick leave while I tried to not kill myself. The other I just started and I only get 10 hours a week. I've missed or gone home early 5 times already because I've been so sick.

Why am I so sick?

I am physically and mentally disabled to start, which will be with me ALWAYS. I have a bad leg from an accident, as well as Bipolar, PTSD and crippling anxiety.

I have also been sick lately from hunger and missing medications. I cannot preform at my job because I need money, and I cant get money unless I perform at my job.

Find another job!

Every job wants you to be available full time but only gives you 15 or less hours a week. Lots of jobs wont even hire me because of my disabilities.

Borrow money from your family!

I dont speak to my parents or sister because they abused me for 25 years.

Apply for E.I!

I cant because I'm still working and dont meet the criteria.

Get disability money then!

I live in NB, where monthly disability funding from the government...doesnt exist.

Move out of New Brunswick!

I moved here from Ontario because there were NO JOBS in Ontario. I cant move again because it costs thousands of dollars.

Pull yourself up by your bootstraps and collect cans! Give plasma for money! Go to a food bank!

I'm not medically allowed to give plasma, I'VE TRIED. They dont want mine because I'm on medication and have a history of being ill. And cans, I actually do when I can, but every trip to the depot gets me about $3 and hours of exhaustion. The food bank nearest to me doesnt accept people at my address, and the farther one is a problem due to my anxiety about leaving the house.

Apply for welfare!

I am waiting for an appointment this week, and I need to be accepted. If I'm not, I am out of options.

I have been selling things I dont use or need in order to buy a couple groceries here or there.

What else is there?

Please, someone come to me with magic answers, because I'm at my end. Called a suicide hotline tonight because I dont see any more options, and it really seems like the world hates poor people, especially if you're disabled.

If anyone has any resources or suggestions not mentioned above, please let me know. Thank you for reading.

[moonsthoughtsandfeels]

Day in and day out I’m taking care of our almost 8 month old. Been doing that almost since the day she was born. There was a week or so that I went back to work full time but since I quit back in January it’s been me non stop.

Lately I started going back to work early as hell in the mornings before you go to work that way it’s still all me taking care of her. So there I go 230/3am till 7/ 730 just to make enough money to buy her diapers, wipes, clothes, pay my rent, pay my car, bills, and feed us all.

Still breastfeeding too btw. Full time doing that. When she wakes up in the middle of the night it doesn’t disrupt your sleep but it does mine. And when I’m working you rock her back to sleep, why isn’t that done when I’m here? I must not be deserving of normal sleep any more cause I’m a mom.

And then our day starts . 8/830 we get up, change your diaper, go play in the living room, make you a little something to eat, clean you up, play a little more and then put you down for the first nap. The baby only sleeps half an hour . So now it’s 10/30 , we get up change another diaper, get the baby dressed it non sleep clothes, do her hair, play, make her a real breakfast, feed her and myself, depending on how dirty she got I’ll either change her outfit again or do a mini bath. After that we play some more, then put her down for her second nap, another 30-45 minutes go by and during that nap I’m cleaning up the mess from making breakfast and the mess the baby made eating breakfast. This includes sweeping, mopping, dishes, wiping the counters, high chair, and table. Now she’s awake and it’s 1/130 change another diaper this time it’s poop. Go to the living room, play, feed you puréed baby food and an ice pop for your teeth, clean the baby up again, another diaper change, more play, and then nap again around 330/4 now when the baby wakes up you’re finally on your way home or you just got home. I change the diaper, go to the living room, hear about your day, go pee in peace for the first time today, then clean up whatever other mess is in the house, do laundry, clean up the patio, fold her laundry, take out the trash, do my own laundry, clean up our room, clean up her room, clean up whatever else needs to be cleaned because that’s what it’s like having a baby, every day something needs to be cleaned because clothes pile up, dishes pile up, trash piles up, dust piles up, dirt piles up, every single day I do something to keep the house up.

You take a nap. From what you always say is an easy job. From being tired from gaming at night and not sleeping instead. You took this new position and help out even less than you did before. At least you would get out early before so that gave more time for me to do things like laundry so you can watch the baby. But now I get to do everything with her and by myself.

If we broke up, not much would be different, I already feel like a single parent. I’m 95% of this relationship. I plan the dates, I pay for 90% of our things including groceries, take out food, baby clothes, diapers, wipes and entertainment. It’s me doing and being everything.

Im supposed to be grateful because you cook dinner or breakfast?

You should be grateful that the dishes are clean to cook. You should be grateful the floors are clean to walk on. You should be grateful I bought the groceries. You should be grateful. But at this point I feel taken advantage of.

I’ve talked to you about this before. I told you I feel like I’m alone in all this, and things changed for a week or 2 and now we’re back to where it was before. And like I said before I’m not going to leave you because leaving you means I’ll have to not see the baby if we share time. And I’d rather be with my daughter. It sucks to feel this way, and though our days aren’t consumed with keeping the house up, a lot of my day is. Don’t you think I’d rather be relaxing on the couch playing video games instead of picking up trash that you left? Or sweeping up all the dirt we trailed in from being outside?

If you see something that isn’t in the right place why don’t you fix it?

Because you expect me to do it. I’ve made you too comfortable and now you won’t change. It’s too bad for our daughter cause of you this is the kind of man she’s going to look for too. This is the expectation we’re setting up for her.

[justkenz]

I want to live by myself when I move out of my parent's place but I'm really afraid of money problems? I'm afraid that the only place I can afford will be in the ghetto and it'll all be torn apart and I'll only be allowed to eat one granola bar a week. I'm really stressing out about this. I don't know anything about after school life. I don't know anything about paying bills or how to buy an apartment and it's really scaring me. is there anything you know that can help me?

Hey! Maybe do some research on the price of apartments around where you are hoping to live, see what rent costs, see what's included, then figure out what other costs you'd have/bills (like phone, gas, groceries, etc) and see if you can come up with a monthly estimate, and make sure you leave room for you to have money in case of emergencies.

Honestly, it will really depend on your income, if you have a job that will pay enough for you to pay rent but also feed yourself. You could also talk to your parents about your worries if you are close to them, or if you have any friends who have gone through this experience already, then you could ask them for advice as well.

I am sorry if this isn't super helpful, but I wish you all the best!

[wordsofapanda]

I love my sister tons but having kids made her super entitled. She moved across country and she still expects everyone back in her home state to act like nothing has changed. Most of the time when people move across the country, their loved ones stop sending as much gifts because postage and it’s just out of sight/out of mind. It’s just the norm. My nephews birthday is coming up so I reached out because I wanted to get him a present. She tells me that she’s bummed mom and dad forgot her kids birthday. I know it’s not intentional but she ends up reaching out to my mom with the intention of getting stuff for her kid which doesn’t sit right with me. My mom, of course, sends her money immediately. Here’s the thing. My sister is struggling financially so I get she needs the extra help but it’s insane the level of help she consistently asks from others while she makes these huge decisions. In her own way, she’s been trying to keep up with the joneses. She chose to move across country so she could own a house for her kids which is valid but her partner has always been very unlucky with jobs and now they have a house at the expense of him having no job. Any time she wants to go somewhere, she whines to my parents and they buy her tickets. Tickets to the Philippines and tickets back here. I learned later on that she’s always been asking my mom for a lot: fridge, money, more. My mom of course never counts it and wants to provide. But my moms trying to retire. And that’s why I have such a huge problem with it. Everything is so expensive now. My sister refused to make any compromises so she could have kids, the house, the electronics, and you name it. But now she can’t keep up with it and mom won’t be able to save her forever. I used to think my sister was so independent growing up but it’s the opposite. Even when she was getting by way and made way more in her home state, she asked my mom to provide constantly. She assumes that because she has kids, everyone will continually bend over backwards for them but they moved to another state. She can’t have everything. Now I can’t talk much shit because I took time off because I went through a mental health crisis, but when I struggle and I need bills paid I never ask my parents or depend on their money like that. I’m fortunate to live under their roof and they want to take care of certain things but it’s a give and take and my sister only takes and takes. She moved out as soon as she turned 18 so I’ve been the one driving my parents if they’re tired, making sure my mom has lunch/dinner, picking up some groceries for them, running errands, making floral arrangements for them, cleaning the house and more. I put in my work and I help my parents where I can because living under their roof and not paying rent is a blessing in this economy. Im just worried my mom will be spread a bit thinner. She’s on the cusp of retiring and everyone in the family is SO used to her spoiling them that they expect it now and I can see my moms just tired. It just bothers me so much about how independent my sister acts but constantly complains when she doesn’t get presents, gets left behind because she moved, and gets upset when people don’t visit her. I love her but she has a level of entitlement and spoiled mentality that is ridiculous. Like girl you’re in your 40s and you wanted THE American dream and like all millennials right now, you can’t afford it. Ive come around to realize I may never be able to live on my own because I don’t make enough but it’s why I’m content with my situation instead of trying to reach for a fucking house. Everything is unattainable nowadays but I feel like I’m the one sibling who has accepted it.

[cleopatrachampagne]

it’s crazy to me to that parents seem to think paying thousands — or putting their kid in debt for thousands — of dollars for a dorm is paying for their kids safety when it’s the opposite. living off campus you have a much safer environment plus real life consequences for stupid choices compared to dorms where you pack a bunch of naive kids together then leave them unsupervised but cover up their mistakes or baby them. i was assaulted at 18 and i really largely blame the rape culture on campuses and the kids dying of shroom overdoses during orientation week on the way dorms work at colleges. privileged idiot kids with no supervision or consequences packed in like sardines in coed buildings with a microdose of freedom how could it possibly go right but parents seem to think it’s safer for their kids than paying less for a place off campus. yeah, if your kid breaks the law they’ll go to jail instead of getting a phone call home but that kid is a lot less likely to make dumb mistakes because of it.

overdoses leading to deaths, alcohol poisoning and sexual assault are so common but colleges that nickel and dime you for printer ink or a sip of water are eager to fool american helicopter parents into thinking it’s wise to pay out the ass for a shoebox sized room so they can keep their adult kids coddled. so not only is it expensive and restrictive (a lot of private colleges require their students to live on campus for at least two years and buy a pricey but insufficient/shitty meal plan and it’s hard to have a job while living on campus if it’s even allowed) but it’s unsafe.

i did two years community college then went to a public college and now am in grad school at a large public college and am in less debt than my sister who is living on campus at a private college and hasn’t even finished one degree yet. and as a french major at a school that required an immersion experience i can safely say that study abroad exchanges where you attend a foreign college for a set period of time (rather than paying yours an obscene amount for two weeks supervised abroad) often have much cheaper tuition and living expenses compared to the us even when adjusted for the varying exchange rates so although travel can be costly it’s actually cheaper for me to study in lyon than in the usa.

in lyon i had rent at an apartment i didn’t need to share of around 1,000 euros, tuition less than 1,000 euros for a semester and then expenses for a few months of groceries, utilities, etc plus an actual walkable city so no gas or car costs which compared to over 3,000 us dollars for my classes alone here not including textbooks, rent, etc it’s wild how we seem to think it’s normal here to pay 25,000 dollars a year to be less prepared for life.

it feels like a way for parents to conform to the american idea of kicking your kid out at eighteen while still getting to control and baby them. my mom’s family mainly lives in mexico and barcelona where it’s expected for adult kids to live with their families until they’re stable enough to be out on their own. there’s zero shame in it since it has long been normal to live at home until marriage or mid-twenties and i used to think that was weird or embarrassing until as an adult i saw the difference in preparedness for young people to face the real world in both financial and emotional ways.

dorms really just seem like a massive classist cope for parents and their adult kids to have a simulated version of adulthood / having your kid out of the home while it’s simultaneously seen as shameful for a young person to live at home while having a job and/or attending a public university. i honestly think a young adult living at home while paying bills and developing their genuine independence plus avoiding extra debt has a way better handle on real adult life than a young adult living in a dorm room but somehow it’s viewed as the reverse even though that situation is better financially and socially for parents too. the mind fairly boggles, tbh.

amazing your daughter goes to a great public university with spending a dime and u are complaining