#if you are wondering: no! Theo's death will not make Seth more well-ajusted!

[bluberimufim]

Your suffering is a price too steep for me

Hello! I took out a wisdom tooth today and after such a tragic ordeal (it was extremely easy and quick), I have decided to ease my pain (I'm literally fine) by posting a new snippet!

This is the biggest one yet (about 1k words) but I love this scene so so much and I want to share it with you! It was in the snippet poll a couple of weeks ago. It was the "Seth and Theo arguing about the war" one.

taglist: @little-mouse-gardens @wildswrites

No trigger warnings today!

Now, every time she and Theo strolled through the hospital, she felt the other healers’ eyes on her. Their voices lowered to whispers as she passed, but she could hear them rattle on enthusiastically when they walked out of her field of vision. Theo found it very funny. “Ever since I healed that soldier, they won’t leave me alone,” Seth grumbled. “They’re giving me a headache.” “Well, I think they’re adorable,” Theo replied, looking over her shoulder to make sure the healers they’d run into were no longer within earshot. “I like their enthusiasm.” Seth looked away, her eyes fixed on the windows that filled the corridor with light. She could barely wait to return to camp. “They’re healers,” she sighed. “I have… complicated feelings about that.” Theo placed a hand on her shoulder and they both stopped in the middle of the empty corridor. The sunlight made her eyes shine, like two red stars. “I know,” Theo said. “I know how you feel about them.” “I don’t want them to feel the need to heal people. I’d have preferred it if they’d never discovered the potential of their own magic. So many of them are so young…” Seth paused, furrowing her brow. “But also… I can’t stop thinking about how things were when I was on their side. I still remember the Master Healer Lady, encouraging all those girls to give up their souls to any soldier that needed them. And seeing Asha do the same, knowing that, despite it all, she’s still enforcing it, makes me feel… small.” Theo squeezed her shoulder. “I can’t say I fully understand what you feel, but-” “Even if a single healer can prevent dozens of deaths, I’d prefer it if none of them ever saved any lives. No one deserves to have magic like this.” Theo stretched her arms out to hug her, but Seth stepped back, grabbing one of her wrists. “Why aren’t you ever like this at camp?” she asked. She was neither angry nor sad, just put off by her behaviour. “Why have you suddenly stopped ignoring me?” “Seth…” “No, Theo. Why are you behaving as if the past few months never happened?” Theo sighed, ripping her wrist from Seth’s hand. The small medal she wore over her chest jingled with the sudden movement. “Can’t I spend time with you? Can’t we talk normally anymore?” “Why do you only do that when we’re here?” Theo sighed. She looked to the side, avoiding Seth’s gaze. “When we’re here, I can pretend that we’re not in the middle of the war.” “You’re the one who wanted to come!” “I know!” Theo shot out. When she turned to Seth, her eyes seemed to spark for an instant. “I know it was me! I know I dragged you here with me! You don’t think I think about that every day?” “I chose to come! I came for you! If you’re so desperate to pretend you’re not in a war, why don’t you go home? It’s not as if the Goddess of Time can find you there.” Theo’s shoulders lowered with a sigh. She choked on her next words. “I… I hate the war too,” she murmured. Her hand flew to her medal, and she turned to look at how it glistened in the light. “I hate it so much…” “Then go back home.” “I can’t!” “Of course you can! If we ran right now, the Goddess of Time wouldn’t be able to catch us.” She reached towards Theo’s hand and squeezed it reassuringly. “We’d be safe from her. At home.” “And the rest of the time?” “Extend your dominion to the whole town. Make all the people subject to your divinity. I don’t care. Come home.” Theo shook her head, but she still held Seth’s hand, hidden in the fabric of her embroidered healer’s cloak. “I can’t.” Her voice was weak, as if she was on the precipice of tears. “I can’t. They need me. I believe I can end this war.” “By killing more people?” “More people would die without me. At least like this, they have an advantage, even if it is… even if it hurts me a lot.” “Screw them! Let’s go home!” “And let the war go on? And let more people die?” Seth sighed.

“I don’t give a damn about the war. Let them all die. Let the war go on forever. I don’t care.” She brought Theo’s hand closer. “As long as you’re with me, in peace, I couldn’t care less. I don’t mind the war if I’m not looking at it. It isn’t hard.” Theo pushed her away and took a step back. “You’d let this violence continue for years and years just because it’s not directly in front of you?” Seth straightened her spine. She knew that Theo hated what she was saying, and it felt like being stabbed through the chest “Yes. As long as you’re with me and the war is far away from us. Yes.” “I can’t believe you’d let the war go on for such a selfish reason! We finally have a chance to win, to stop the deaths of all these soldiers and healers, and you say you want none of that because you want me by your side. Don’t you see that, for the first time in decades, we can be, finally, once and for all, at peace?” Seth looked into her flaming red eyes, now covered in shadow. “At the cost of your suffering?” “My suffering is nothing compared to theirs. My Mother created me with her own hands to fight in this war and this is what I’ll do.” “Even if it kills you?” She took a step closer. “Even if you end up like Dora?” “Yes. Because I’ll have ended this war.” “What about me.” “I’ll spend the rest of my life with you. As soon as the war is over.” With no reply, Seth began walking in the opposite direction. She held her cane more tightly than usual, pressing it against the marble floor with such force she thought it would crack. She felt as if she was going to fall at any moment. “Your suffering is a price too steep for me,” she said, turning back, already a few steps away. “To me, it can compare to nothing.”

(Sorry for the weird break in the text. Tumblr wasn't letting me post otherwise...)

First time Seth's cane gets featured in a snippet?? Iconic

Also, Theo saying "I'll spend the rest of my life with you once the war is over"??? Sure you will, girl. All 5 minutes of it.

I genuinely love this snippet!! It was so fun to write!!! Seth is such a selfish character and she's got a kind of... unhealthy attachment to Theo, I'd say? And this has already been shown extensively (i.e. Seth hunting down a goddess for 30 pages to look for Theo), but this is the first time she's verbalizing the extent of her possessiveness. Literally, her only motivation is "be with Theo".

I hope you enjoyed today's snippet! Because I did! Have a great whatever time of day!