#if y'all want her full dark urge google doc

[nyf-archive]

i'm over here thinking a lot about my durges, and honestly, i'm obsessed with them now. i never thought i was going to depict one, but now i have two, almost three. whoops. sorry not sorry. anyways! below the cut are some info/hc about colette without bothering my friends with constant notifs lmao just gotta get the thoughts out and written so i don't forget

Colette

evil or good? for the most part, she is a redeemed dark urge. that is, until act 3 when she reunites with gortash again. it is then, in that moment when they divulge their history together, that she decides whether she wants to rule with him as this new self, or if she will allow herself to be consumed. If she has found a partner in any of her companions, she refuses to become the chosen and frees herself from his ties.

if she rekindles her relationship with gortash, though, as he helps her kill her sister, she accepts bhaal and reclaims her birthright. fucked up, yes, but she has been resisting the urge up until this point and it has been killing her. literally. to go without harming anyone, she does not sleep except for short rests. never enough to get any true sleep. she stops eating because everything tastes like metal, and she self-mutilates near the end to try and stop herself from hurting others. It is better to die by her own doing than to kill anyone else.

the slayer the creature that is her murderous form is one she refuses to use. the demon rages within as she denies herself to satisfy the urge. she has felt herself change into it, woke to find herself in that form among a field of murdered corpses. it was gore and nothing but death. but it made her father proud.

on the note of the slayer, colette will lose herself to the creature should she resist too long. a prominent sign that she hasn't fed into her urges or at least killed enough of their enemies or had enough carnal pleasures to satiate the urge are as follows: agitation, insomnia, hallucinations, disorientation, increased sensitivity to pain, tremors, nose bleeds, self-mutilation to try and quell the desire to see blood spill.

the MOST OBVIOUS sign that she is about to lose herself and that it's too almost too late to get to safety is that her eyes turn completely black. her pupils will begin to blow, expanding until her iris is completely gone. the darkness then bleeds into the sclera until her whole eye is consumed with ichor. at that point, touching her for any reason other than restraining her causes her lash out. it is stimuli that sets her off. whether it is due to the slayer taking over, or out of fear that she'll be mutilated again like she was for nearly a tenday, touch is best to be avoided in this state unless for the reasons above.

having lost herself in the past with a certain ex-lover, the only way to stop the slayer was the command spell that was enchanted within his glove. unless someone else was around that knew the spell, unless she was stopped before turning and restrained properly, the demon broke free. calm emotions is not a strong enough spell to stop her, and sleep spells weren't strong enough to hold the demon from taking control of her mortal form.

how to quell the thirst killing and physical satisfaction are the only ways she's been able to quell the beast within. maintaining deniability for her friends is the most important thing. if there is a mission where a public figure needs to die, colette is the only one who enters the building. but she doesn't kill innocents. only those that deserve it or have it coming. otherwise, the pleasures of the body are the only other things that satisfy that crave for lust.