#if we become friends he'll get hopeful we'll eventually date again. and i don't want this at all

[jorjin]

Thinking about the fact I wanted to be friends with my ex if we separated in the past but now that it finally happened I just don't want anything to do with him at all

[measuringbliss]

Spider-Man Read-Through 057: Dazzler + Black Cat Always Lands On Her Feet (ASM 203-206)

MASTERPOST

Hey, today we're finishing up Marv Wolfman's run! I'll give my thoughts at the end.

There was supposed to be some Spectacular issues before this post, but I wanted to get on with it, so here we are.

Really cool cover, by the way.

Spidey thinks this lady's chased by Will O' The Wisps, but she faints when he rescues her. When she wakes up, she doesn't seem to know that name...

I don't know anything about Dazzler (except... she's a X-Men), but she seems really cool and original. She also gets away from him, good for her!

YES. THIS IS ALL I'M ASKING. Peter interacting with his friends half-dressed! I'm a simply guy.

Betty and Peter were never a thing recently though. Like, can we really say they "broke up" when... they... weren't together? They had a vague fling but that's it. And they're going to see Star Trek, that's nice!!! I'm almost at the ending of DS9 season 3. Haven't watched the other shows, and I'm very slow, but still, I enjoy it.

Meanwhile, Dazzler gets hit by her mysterious enemy... the Lightmaster! Back from SSM. OoOoOh, I'm scared.

The basic thing is, he needs light, and she produces light. It was only a matter of time! Their interactions blow up the nearby cinema, and Peter quickly becomes Spidey once again.

The fight is fun!

Well that sucks for her, because her power is really cool. I love that she gets energy from concerts.

Spidey saves Dazzler, but she's still hell-bent on eliminating him!

Nice panel!

He escapes her by webbing her eyes. A classic!

Oh I'm sure he'll get to a bottom alright.

We get a quick update on Aunt May: she's not dead, and she's even getting better! Crap.

Spidey surmises that Dazzler got possessed by the Lightmaster, but he's a dumbass.

He eventually saves her with that big machine, and when Dazzler asks how she can repay him, he says they'll figure something out.

Let's hope it's a concert ticket he's asking for. In the comments, people were quick to notice the innuendo (the line coupled with their immediate physical intimacy certainly implies *things*.)

Now, onto Black Cat's return in 204!

Our story starts with Black Cat, apparently alive (who doubted that?) and taking pictures of our favorite wall-crawler. Then she gets in a museum to steal a cute statue of a couple, but she's interrupted.

I love those kisses, it's ridiculous, but lovely. And that cat shadow!

Spidey arrives too, and the cat shadow gimmick continues!

I love it!

She escapes, and Peter ponders about how attractive she is. I'm ready for this couple! I'm ready!!!! Curious to see how it goes!

At the Bugle, Robbie's accepted to lead the newspaper in place of Jameson. He's become a changed man! Very irascible.

BUT WHO DO WE SEE AGAIN?!

RANDY!!!!! MY BOY!!!!! I MISSED YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Meanwhile, at Felicia's place...

Oh, I love this. It's so silly, but so good!

At the Globe, Barney tries to push Peter and April closer. I'm not against April being less bitchy.

Later...

Felicia's not being very slick there, but it's comics, so whatever. That left panel of Peter changing, though? Very erotic.

I'm glad to see Flash and Sha Shan again... I don't remember Cissy, maybe she's in Spectacular. Sounds inconsequential either way. But this new date, Dawn Starr... Very 80s haircut right there. Not sure I'm a fan, BUT she immediately says she's into Peter, so you know.

Oh, but it gets better! She's a science major (another one!) and... she's one of Peter's students! I'm into that, I like the drama. Peter's not of the same mind, though. He's already got enough drama as is!

By the way, I'm not completely fond of this issue's colors... We'll see how it goes...

At the Guggenheim museum, Spidey and Black Cat have another fight.

Oh, she's a funny one for sure. The writing's becoming more horny, and I'm also here for it.

Once again, the Black Cat gets away, but with the statue this time! Oh, and we get news on Jonah! He's amnesiac now. "Jonas Harrow" says he's gonna help him, but he's got those terrifyingly goofy glasses that indicate he's not a nice guy.

Black Cat steals another thing (and is quite disappointed that she saw no resistance from the folks there), and we get a promise that the next issue will have a surprise ending. A kiss, a kiss!!!!

YES.

Marv Wolman's run is officially finished at this point! David Michelinie's a guest writer for 205, but his run will occur about five years later. Let's see how he fares here.

That's a really beautiful panel.

At Peter's workplace (the university!), he finds Dawn...

We got a kiss! I didn't expect him to go down that line, though. But I'm here for the messiness. I presume it won't last long...

Peter thinks things are looking up on him, but that's not exactly a sentiment I share.

Spidey and Black Cat have a little fight again, and she gets away again.

Later, at the Daily Globe, Peter meets Pamela Dean, society editor and possible new love interest? What is going on here?

Did Peter breaking up with MJ finally open his dating prospects?

There's a solid theme of love going around in these issues. Black Cat targets art about love, Pamela Dean wants to write a story about an artist who does romantic and erotic art... This feels like a new era.

Peter's convinced Black Cat's building a shrine to her father with those thieveries, and I think he's completely wrong about that. The likely actual person she loves is... well, Spider-Man, of course.

Love these panels.

At his office, Peter finds an intruder... and our dear miss Dawn is welcomed by none other than Spidey!

.

.

.

Iran? What the heck, Peter.

Oh, Peter... (He looks so cute when he's angsty.)

Hey, does anyone know if this area really exists? I'm curious. Ross Andru drew real buildings, so...

So Felicia's exchanging the art she stole for the Helen Epistle, a love letter to Paris from Helen of Troy.

Just kidding! She's actually stealing that one too.

Meanwhile, Peter has an appointment with Bellflower, the erotic art collector that Felicia just threatened. He seems busy, and Peter smells the ruse.

Do you know what else is jangling?

Anyway. BC and Spidey have another confrontation, BC escapes, but Spidey tracks her and is completely surprised to see he was wrong about Felicia's daddy issues.

I love her expresssion on the left!

... You know what, that's actually a solid ending, because at first, Peter didn't care about his responsibility (the Dawn kiss), but then he got the backlash from that (disappointment and betrayal), so here, he chose to do the right thing. That's good.

206 time! Roger Stern is here. He'll stay for a while. I've seen people say to skip the Wein and Wolfman issues, so I'm curious to see what Stern brought to the game.

Turns out Jonas Harrow, who also created Hammerhead, the Kangaroo and Will O' The Wisps in the first place, is the one who's been making Jonas mad. He used rays or something on Jonah's office, which explains why Robbie was irritated last issue!

I'm sure Jonah will be back to his old self anyway... but I kinda like how it ties up neatly this background arc that has been running for like, ten issues at this point. Neat! Didn't expect it either.

At the Bugle, Robbie and Marla discuss what to do regarding Jonah's disappearance, but Jonas Harrow doesn't like this and turns up his rays. They get in a fight, and when Peter intervenes, he pushes them away rather violently.

Ew.

The rays cause everyone to be angry, but Peter activates the fire alarm to make them evacuate the building. Smart!

He eventually finds and breaks the rays emitting gadget, and then Harrow dares him to fight him. When he sees Spidey, Jameson gets his memory back. Much more effective than Harrow's tentative treatment!

I love the middle panel, but this is also why I cannot bring myself to care about Jonas: he sucks.

So... Marv Wolfman. Definitely an improvement on Len Wein if you consider the entirety of their runs, as it's more consistently solid.

I did love the graduation issues, the relationship drama, but the May arc was annoying, although I can appreciate the ambition. I think my problem lies moreso with the corresponding Spectacular issues, but it wasn't Wolfman, so...

I just feel like Wolman's cast isn't coherent the way Stan Lee and Gerry Conway's were. Still, there was an attempt to emulate Lee and Ditko's style at some point. Jameson was faaaar too involved in all of that to my liking, but it was a bit original at least, compared to previous times. Some characters acted out of character too (Ned and Harry)...

It's not a perfect run, and I don't gel well with Wolfman, but it was alright. Good, even.

Welcome, Mister O'Neil. Show me what you've got!

[lovemalecforever]

Chapter 12

Family isn't always blood

Alec looked at his Parabatai then to his sister then to him again and sighed heavily before speaking. "Because there is something I want to talk about which needs all of your presence."

"Excuse me!?" Jace exclaimed, "Alec, I can feel your nervousness, what is going on? You're making me scared buddy, we almost lost yo-"

"Jace, calm down. I'll tell you when everyone will be here, and it's nothing bad, okay?"

Even after the reassurance, Jace was still not convinced. He could feel how scared and nervous Alec was through their bond. There were so many probabilities running through his mind, minding that Magnus wasn't there with him when that man never leaves his brother alone.

"Jace, stop. I can literally feel you getting stressed up, I told you, Jace, it's nothing, just... wait for a while."

Jace sighed and nodded. He had met his Parabatai, his brother after a long time, and making him upset or angry was the last thing he wanted. "Sorry Alec, but really, you told Izzy that you're coming but not me? Seriously? Am I not important to you anymore?" he dramatically put his hand over his chest. "You have hurt me, dude."

Alec rolled his eyes. "Stop being overdramatic, Jace. Besides, the look on your face told me that it was worth it."

"Boyzzz!" Izzy interrupted, shaking her head at her brothers for their silliness. "So, big brother, whom do you want to meet first, Clary or Simon?" Out of everyone, Izzy knew really well that Alec considers them family now, remembering the fact that he admitted it when she and Simon visited him.

"It's been long I've seen nugget in training mode. I would like to see her training and meanwhile, tell Simon to come here, I want to talk to you both privately before talking to everyone else."

"What the hell!? Alec, First, stop giving my girlfriend these stupid nicknames, and second what are you guys are up to?"

"Jace, stop." Izzy spoke firmly, "Don't bombard our brother with questions, he just arrived. And, besides, I want to see how Clary's doing so can we move now?"

"Fine, let's go." Jace sighed, and they left for the training room.

While heading towards the training room, Alec didn't miss the changes that had been made at the Institute, especially the weapons room. He knew he made the right decision to make his sister the Head of the Institute when he accepted the post of Inquisitor at Alicante, and she's doing a brilliant job. He couldn't help but feel proud of his sister.

It's been around an hour since Clary started her training, her hair was tied up in a ponytail, she was wearing a perfectly fitted navy blue sports bra with red stripes on it, the back having cross straps with blue-grey yoga pants and red and blue colored sports shoes. Her hands were wrapped in boxing bandages, blowing punches and kicks to the punching bag, which had now started to tear.

"Slow down Parabatai, looks like you're having a bad day, or did you not get it last night, huh?" Izzy teased as she walked towards her soon-to-be Parabatai, a smirk playing on her face, and Jace's face flushed.

"Izzy, Hey!" Clary greeted then held the towel that Izzy offered her. "And to answer your question, both. Bad day because Jace was being an idiot last night, and this morning too." She said, making Izzy burst into laughter.

"Really Clary, discussing our sex life with my sister!? Not appreciated!" Jace said as he walked in.

"She's my best friend, Herondale. I can discuss whatever I want." Clary shrugged and snatched the water bottle that he offered her.

"Oops! Looks like someone screwed up badly." Izzy said while suppressing her laugh, earning a glare from Jace.

Clary almost choked on the water she was drinking and dropped the bottle on the floor in the process when her eyes fell on the third person present in that room, standing by the door frame.

"ALEC!"

"Hello, Carrot!" Alec walked in and laughed when she literally jumped on him. "Get down, carrot, you're drenched in sweat."

"Really! Carrot, Carrot!? Seriously, Alec, I told you to stop giving her names, don't you-"

"I find it cute," Clary said, interrupting her boyfriend and making him dumbfounded. "Alec, when did you come? And where's Magnus?" She asked when her excitement died down and was back on her feet.

"Just now, and Magnus didn't come, I had some work."

"Okay, now I'm jealous, what had Simon done, big brother? Jace? Why do you both treat him like that?" Izzy pouted.

"I like him, but that vampire gets under my skin sometimes. No offense, Izzy." Jace said flatly.

"Izzy, Simon had done nothing, you know I like him, I just don't feel like being like that around him. There's nothing else." Alec reassured, making her sigh.

Izzy's phone buzzed, breaking their chain of conversation. She picked it up to check the message. "It's Si, he'll be here in some time. Your room or my office?" She asked.

"In my room," Alec answered while Jace and Clary kept glancing between the siblings. "I'll tell you both later."

Clary nodded. "I'm going to get a shower, see you later, Alec." With that, she picked up her stuff and left the hall.

"Wait, Clary! Excuse me!" Jace said hurried after his girlfriend leaving the other two laughing at their situation.

"It's good to have her back, you know," Izzy said when they both left the room. "Jace is a different person now, and happier too."

"I know. I can feel it. I'm happy for him, he deserves this. Looking back at how broken he was 3 years ago, I'm really happy that Clary got her memories back. They didn't deserve what happened 5 years ago."

"What's wrong!?" She asked when she noticed an unknown expression clouding her brother's face.

"Izzy, promise me you won't tell Jace what I'm about to say, else I won't hear the end of it."

Izzy raised her brow but eventually nodded.

"You know how much I used to hate Clary when she first came into our lives, she's still annoying, but looking at her now, at them, they are meant for each other, they complete each other. And I'm really happy that they found each other, all over again." He said, having a bright smile on his face.

"You're right, big brother. Jace will never stop teasing you if he'll hear what you just said. And, I agree, they are meant for each other."

Clary came back to their lives almost two and a half years ago. It took her almost a year and a half after meeting Jace at her painting exhibition to regain her memories of the shadow world. When she remembered Jace at the alley of the building where her exhibition was held, Jace frequented their meetings in the hope that she'd remember everything but hid it from everyone else. That was until Simon found out and confronted him, in the process bumping into her becoming the second person she remembered.

Clary always had an empty space in her heart, a void, which kept telling her that something was missing. That was until she met Jace, and she knew that she knew him from somewhere. There were bits and pieces in her mind of a club, bike riding, or some similar events, but they were never complete.

When both boys told everyone about Clary, it was Magnus who advised them to take things slow and not rush her memories. She met everyone, remembered them one by one, Luke being the third one, then Jocelyn, followed by the incomplete memory of her death, which resulted in regaining her memories at a great pace.

What broke the floodgates of her memories was when Jace and Clary were returning from their date, and they were attacked by a shapeshifting demon, which Clary killed with complete ease, shocked at first, but the sudden appearance and disappearance of her runes made her remember that she's a Shadowhunter.

The most beautiful thing which happened between all this was Clary fell in love with Jace all over again, oblivious about their past and Jace's feelings, making him the happiest person in the universe.

When she remembered everything, and stepped into the institute once again, and got all her runes back, she was visited by her mother's soul once again telling her that the Angels had forgiven her, she still has her extra share of powers, but she needs to be careful this time and not repeat the mistakes she made in the past. From that time on she became a completely new person. Better than before, more fierce, stronger, but still stubborn, annoying, and irritating at times.

The most epic thing to happen was Alec and Clary's relationship. From hating each other to frenemies to friends to a weird brother-sister relationship, they came a long way. The bitter comments Alec used to make about her were now more of teasing and mocking in a good way. They had started understanding each other, making everyone around them shocked with their bonding.

***************************

Simon was already pacing in Alec's room when Izzy and Alec entered, making Alec sigh out of frustration. "Stop digging holes in my carpet, Lewis," Alec commented.

"Really!?"

"Boys!" Izzy shook her head. "I can't with you people!" She mumbled, then turned towards her brother. "So, what did you find Alec?"

"Everything!" He answered and explained to them the complete process of becoming immortal. When he was done both of their faces were filled with shock and astonishment.

"So, you have to drink Fray's blood and ask her to talk to Angel Ithuriel on your behalf, that's... interesting. Do you think she'll agree?" Simon asked curiously.

"That we'll see. Are you both okay with this?" Alec asked hesitantly.

Simon and Izzy exchanged a look. "Of course we are, big brother. I'm really happy for you." She hugged her brother tightly. Alec looked at Simon who nodded and smiled at him, he smiled back and mouthed thank you to him.

They broke their hug and Alec sighed with relief. "I'm glad to have your support, but, Izzy, I need advice, I'm confused."

"What is it?"

"Should I wait for everyone to arrive and talk to them tonight altogether, or I'll talk to everyone privately? I don't know how everyone's gonna react, especially Jace and Clary."

Izzy didn't know what to say to that. She looked at Simon than at her brother, trying to form words when Simon broke the silence.

"Um... I don't know what you think, Iz, but I think you should talk to everyone privately, talking to everyone at the same time would mean too many emotions in one place when you don't know how will everyone react which can become uneasy for you. But it's completely up to you." He said carefully.

"I think you're right Simon, thank you. It might take time, but I'll get a fair amount of time with everyone. And I think I'm going to make Jace and Clary wait for the last." He said with a chuckle.

"Now, Izzy, till the time mom and Luke arrive, why don't you and Clary show me what I've asked for!?" He asked with a wide smile.

Simon had a confused expression from his question, making Alec chuckle with the realization that neither of the women had told anyone about the gifts he had asked them to help him make for Magnus.

"Come on then, big brother. It's in Clary's room." She wrapped her arm around her brother's, dropped the silencing rune, and walked towards Jace and Clary's shared room. When they were near their room they heard loud arguments coming from their room making them exchange looks.

"Can we come in Fray? Or are you both going to continue with whatever you were arguing about?" Simon asked while suppressing his laugh, earning a flying pillow from Clary, which he dodged successfully, making Alec and Izzy burst with laughter, and Jace completely embarrassed.

"Are you people done?" Alec asked.

Clary cleared her throat and steadied herself. "Yeah, come in."

"Are you still working on it, or is it completed? Alec wants to see it." Izzy said the excitement was clearly visible in her voice.

"Oh, are you sure Alec? It's not completed yet."

"Completed or not, I want to see both of your's!"

"Okay, it's in my art room."

"Art room?" "What the hell is going on!?" Alec and Jace said at the same time.

Jace was carefully listening to their conversation, making a frown appear on his forehead. He looked at Simon who was mirroring his confused expressions, but no one else, making his nerves rise.

Alec sighed. "Izzy and Clary, may I know why you both kept it hidden from them?" He waved towards Simon and Jace.

"We thought it would be nice to surprise them too, we want to see their expressions when it's done," Izzy said.

Jace and Simon exchanged a look, Jace was about to say something when Alec raised his hand to shut him up. He shook his head in disbelief. "I didn't get my answer, Art room?"

"Oh, my old room, now that I share the room with Jace, I converted that to my personal Art room. Are you really sure, Alec?"

"Yes, and anyways I want it completed before I leave for Alicante."

"Are you sure, big brother? Will you be able to hide from Magnus for that long?" Izzy raised her brow at him.

"Alec, if this makes you relieved, I got permission from Angels to use the portal rune as a permanent rune for me, and anyways I and Izzy are gonna portal to the lakeside to complete all the decorations you've asked for. You can meet us there and take the gifts from us." Clary said.

Alec looked at Clary in disbelief. "You got permission? That's something. Okay then, take your time, but it should be completed by Wednesday."

"We're almost done, big brother. Don't worry!"

*************

They all walked towards Clary's Art room, Alec was way too excited to see what they've done. Clary opens the door, which was filled with the scent of fresh colors, different shapes of brushes were spread in the whole room and a bunch of them were kept in a pen stand with several watercolor bottles and charcoal pencils on a wooden table in the corner of the room. There were different shapes of canvases filled in the whole room.

Clary went forward and removed a red-colored cloth that was covering a medium-sized canvas, only to reveal 3 frame-sized paintings pinned on the canvas, the 4th one was ongoing and one was empty. Alec's jaw fell on the ground seeing them.

"You... you're painting them!?"

"You like it?" Clary asked nervously, biting her nails, and looked at Izzy.

Alec went forward and traced his fingers over the painting of their wedding, both in tuxedos, holding hands, a look of pure happiness on their faces. "Put this in the center, and frame them properly. Magnus is going to love it. And I do too. Thank you, redhead!"

Clary sighed with relief and nodded with a warm smile.

"What the he-"

"Wow, these are beautiful Fray, so that's not the only surprise you're planning for Magnus? It's so lovely!"

"Yes, there's more Simon. I told you and Izzy alre-"

"What is going on!? And why am I the only one who doesn't know anything!?" Jace yelled.

Alec sighed for the billionth time that day. "Jace, are you really not getting it, or are you seriously not remembering!?"

Every eyes were on Jace now. "Remember wha... oh shit!" He gulped when he realized the paintings were from Alec's wedding to all of their following anniversaries. And it's his brother's anniversary next week.

"Sorry, Alec. I forgot about your anniversary. So, that's why Magnus is not here, you're planning a surprise, huh?" He said teasingly knowing that his brother is bad with surprises.

Alec rolled his eyes and smacked Jace on the back of his head, earning a whiney 'Ow' from him while others burst into laughter. "So, Izzy!?"

"It's in the weapons room, come on!"

*********************

They were all in the weapons room, Izzy had vacated the room for some time, and they were the only five present there. She went towards the right side rack, opened the second last drawer and took out a black-colored box, and walked towards the center table where everyone was standing.

"Big brother, it's yet to be completed. The whole engraving is remaining, you sure!?"

"Engraving?" Others said in unison.

"Yes, Izzy! Just show me whatever is done!"

Izzy opened the box to reveal a set of 3 diamond rings, sitting on fake fingers, two on the base and one in the middle of the finger, each connected with silver chains having tiny emeralds covering the whole chain. It was a really beautiful ring. There was a bundle of diamond cuts sitting on the base of the box.

Everyone's jaws were dropped on the floor. The ring was shining brightly in the dullness of the room.

"Why extra diamonds?" Clary asked curiously.

"These are going to be fixed on the engraving. Alec, thoughts?" She asked, her voice filled with nervousness and excitement.

"Wow! I... I'm speechless. You did a great job, Izzy. Magnus is definitely going to fall in love with it."

"I already am," Clary confessed. Her eyes were shining with the lights the diamond ring was emitting.

"I didn't know my girlfriend was this talented!" Simon said. He and Jace were completely dumbfounded.

They all got out of their trance with a loud squeal Izzy made, way too excited and proud of her work. They all exchanged a look and shook their heads at her.

Before Izzy could say, her phone buzzed and her expressions went from excited to soft.

"What?" Alec asked.

"Mom and Luke are here, you're ready, Alec?"

Alec sighed. "Let's get this over with!"

[eroaneki]

So I just got done talking to Joe for like an hour over the phone and it sounds like things are looking up. But we both agreed that we still need time apart to focus more on ourselves and figure out what direction we're both going in. But he didn't sound as hopeless. He said he has a potential job lined up that's within the same town as him, so he's gonna check that out Monday. He's considering moving to Florida and living with his best friend, and he's also considering an absolutely way out there option of doing a farming apprenticeship upstate. Which I can see being a legitimate thing as it's a big thing in NYS right now to preserve farms and agriculture as much as possible.

Idk. He sounded... Clear. For the first time in a while. But he wants to meet tomorrow to talk about everything more in person. Which is fair, because I broke everything off over the phone because I just didn't have any other options. He just wasn't there enough emotionally and mentally to actually sit and have a serious discussion with.

I enforced that I do not want to jump back into anything. That I feel as if not having the emotional puppet strings over our heads anymore is a fantastic thing, and we need to keep it that way for the foreseeable future. But we both kind of agree that we don't want to give up the friendship portion of us.

Idk. I guess we're on a break? I did repeatedly tell him that before we jump into anything, we both need to have direction in our lives. Only after then can we decide if we can make this work again. But regardless of how this whole thing ends up, I think we'll still be pretty good friends.

I do still love him, and I know he feels the same way about me. But with the way things were going, it was no longer sustainable. It was no longer healthy, and something had to give. And I'm proud of myself for doing it. I'm proud of myself because I put myself and my needs first, and that's going to remain foremost in my mind from now on.

And the only reason I'm even still fucking with him is because he has progressed throughout our relationship. It's not like I was dating the same person for the last 4 years. He's made a lot of individual progress. He's gotten better at communicating, being understanding and supportive, and his way of showing love and affection has become exactly what I need in a partner. It's not suffocating, but it's not distant, either.

He said some other stuff to me which was really positive and showed he's starting to think logically again, and is actually starting to understand and become aware of what was going on with himself mentally over the last few months. He said things that showed he's actually been looking at everything introspectively, and analyzing it. And I have a feeling that, given more time, he'll be able to see even more in depth. At least that's what I'm hoping for.

But I have to remember to respect myself, as well. Which I feel I am. I do not feel as if I need to get back together with him. I'm looking at it as an option. Because I know in the back of my mind that I will eventually be okay and bounce back if none of this works out. I have felt oddly at peace over the last few days since I ended things. I'm still not quite sure why other than I did it for myself, but I've been pretty okay considering. And the last time I broke things off with him 2 years ago, I felt entirely different. I did it but I was eager to get back together with him. Now, I want to take all the time that is necessary. I feel more than confident that I can do that without rushing back into an unhealthy situation. I have grown as an individual, over the years. And I am very, very proud of myself.