#if u didn't get it some asshole on instagram sent race a picture of albert kissing a guy before they started dating

[sun-kissed-star]

heya, could we get some angst with ralbert or sprace please?

i’m gonna go ahead and pretend this ask isn’t four months old

trigger warning: accused cheating, brief mention of panic attack

“Just listen…”

“Stop.”

Albert’s mouth snapped shut. Picking at his nails, he watched Race like a bomb waiting to drop. He was curled up on the couch, breathing heavily, hands clamped over his ears. Albert stepped towards him, unsure of what to say, unsure of what to do. Race was seconds away from a panic attack and didn’t want anything to do with him. Rocking nervously on his heels, Albert said the first thing that came to mind.

“Are you… are you okay?”

The bomb dropped. Race shot up, spit flying out of his mouth with every heart-wrenching word. “Of course I’m not fucking okay, Albert!” he screamed, banging his fist on his thigh. “You cheated on me, you kissed some shit-faced boy, you’re lying to me about it, and you want to know if I’m okay? Take a guess, asshole!”

Race’s face was red with anger, hands moving a mile a minute. Albert folded in on himself, feeling guilty for no discernible reason. He never wanted to be the reason to put that look on Race’s face, never Race. He didn’t do anything wrong, but the guilt was squeezing his heart tight, refusing to let go.

“I’m not lying to you!” he said, matching Race’s intensity and ignoring the tremble in his voice as he spoke. “I hate fucking lying to you, Tony, and I’m not doing it now. I didn’t cheat on you, I don’t know where you’re getting this from, but I…”

Race’s hand flew to his pocket. He pulled his phone out, struggling to unlock it with shaking hands. After a few seconds of tense silence and short gasps for breath, Race thrust his phone in Albert’s direction. 

“Look familiar, asshat?”

Albert looked down at the photo pulled up on Race’s phone. It… it was familiar, but… Albert paused, staring at the grainy picture for a long time. That was… 

“Yeah,” Race said roughly, grabbing his phone from Albert’s hand. “That’s what I thought.”

“Where did you get that picture?” Albert said, pulling on his fingers until they cracked. 

“Someone sent it to me on Instagram. Doesn’t matter to you, idiot.”

“Anthony, I didn’t…”

“Don’t fucking do that, God!” Race shouted. “That’s you, Albert! You can deny it all you want, but that’s you, kissing some random guy like it’s the end of the fucking world!”

Race held up his phone again, giving Albert another full view of the photo itself. It was blurry, but clear what was happening. A young guy, about Albert’s age, had him pressed against the wall. Albert’s hands were on the man’s face, and their lips were crashing together. 

“Can’t deny that, Albie,” Race said, choking on his words.

“Tony…”

“Can you go?” His face wasn’t red anymore. He wasn’t shouting, he wasn’t gasping for breath. He sounded tired, resigned, and it hurt to hear. It wasn’t like Race to sound so defeated; when he was upset, he was like a ticking bomb, building up until he exploded, leaving defeat in his path. He was stubborn, hot-headed, and resolute.

Now, he looked like he was going to cry. Race never cried.

“I’ll text your brother for you to tell let him know you’re coming, but I… you can’t be in my apartment right now. I can’t have you here. Please leave.”

That hurt more than any insult he could’ve said, anything he could’ve yelled until the paper-thin walls fell apart. For months, it hadn’t been “Race’s apartment.” It was their apartment. Albert still had a room at his brother, Kaden’s, house, but Race was home. 

It didn’t feel like that now. Not as he silently grabbed his keys and phone, not as he pulled his shoes on, and not as he opened the front door and left, feeling Race’s eyes on his back. It had never felt like less of a home.

Fifteen minutes later, Albert was sitting in his car in the parking lot of his brother’s apartment. He stared straight ahead, rocking in his seat, for what felt like years. Then, his phone lit up.

racer huggins: sorry it’s the middle of the night. did you get back ok.

It was so stupid; they’d just been at each other’s throats, screaming until their voices were hoarse, and Race wanted to know if Albert was safe. It was so like him that Albert wanted to cry; let the heaviness of the night out with tears streaming down his face, letting them flow until he couldn’t cry anymore. 

Instead, he got out of the car and headed inside, dragging his feet.

albie dallas: i’m fine.

He wasn’t fine, but he didn’t let Race know. He buzzed himself into his brother’s apartment, making a beeline for the closet in his room and passing Kaden without answering his questioning eyes. He came up with an old, ragged sweatshirt that had belonged to Race in high school; it had their school mascot in faded colors, and it was about a size too big. Albert pulled it on and hugged himself before climbing into bed.

He grabbed his phone; Race had left him on read. Sighing, he pulled up his camera roll and started scrolling. He passed the cheesy couple photos he and Race had taken, his brothers’ photobombs, and a whole array of pictures he’d taken at the dog park. There, one of the first photos he’d taken on the phone, was the one Race had shown him. That godforsaken picture of the guy pushing him up against the wall. 

The date on the picture was 6/10/2015. Three years before he and Race had started dating. 

He deleted the picture, put his phone down, and pulled the hood of the sweatshirt over his face. Race’s familiar scent flooded his nose, and that was when he finally started to cry. 

He didn’t know if he’d ever stop.

TAG LIST

@booksbroadwayandbagels @tis-my-cigar  @harrynerd-blog  @seizetheimagines @juliet-the-smol @got-the-east-side  @i-got-personality  @internalscreaming012  @voice-foundshoe-lost @capncrutch @thatfancyclam   @jjjudeshitposts  @orphan-with-a-stutter @disney-princess-sized  @perpetualbedheadspier @bexlynne  @we-dont-sell-papes @the-woild-is-my-what-now  @you-thinks-wrong-romeo  @pitiful-ambitions  @purplelittlepup @imjusttheoutgoingsidekick @damn-too-many-fandoms  @savory-n-sweet  @thedolanspineapple @racescoronas@awwwwwwdang @bencookisagod @carryingthedaveyjacobs @disasterbisexualhere @maiawakening @racetrackcook  @aw-jus-let-em-try @suddenly-im-respecsable @the-dance-boi  @jessmuell25 @intoomanyfandomstopickaname @be-more-chill-evan-hansen  @marcusisaprettygay @tomscaprisun  @seasickdolphin  @spot-conlon-king-of-brooklyn @papesdontsellthemselves @narniasfinestavengingsociopath @findmeintheafterglow