#if this is september just wait until christmas actually rolls around cause im feeling the love y'all

[rightwristwatch]

New York, it’s been a very cold pleasure. Oh, and she said yes 💍

[callingitaday]

Hot Lonely Days

Bucky x reader  WC : 1.6K warnings: swearing  2?

Credit to GIF owners 

In your year- or so - here, you had gotten pretty close to everyone, especially Natasha and Wanda. Everyone but Bucky Barns, not that you too weren't friends but you weren't as close as you'd like. yes your still new to him and this team but it is what it is at this point. Over these last few months, your feelings towards  this special solider had surfaced and sometimes it would be a real pain in the ass. Like last week you were in the gym, he came in without a shirt and started on his punching bag were his sweat would build up fast making him shine and you almost tripped while on the treadmill AND OF COURSE HE NOTICED.  or yesterday when he asked you if knew anything about this maybe mission they might be going on, since you always had a file first so that you could prepare the lab or yourself if needed and you just stood there like a fool only to stutter out an answer which only made him smirk.  

Not sure what changed but you're not happy about it, always making a fool of yourself. Barns is unquestionably the hottest yet intimidating but most caring and genuine man you've ever met with the exclusion of Cap of course. You talked small at Tony's parties and when he came to you for help. Help meaning stitches and bandages . Yes, you were trained in combat but you were a nurse first. Mainly you just chilled in the med bay for when the children came home. They were ALWAYS bruised and cut. Literally they could go out for food and manage to get themselves into some sort of trouble. As much as you hated it this is when you and Buck would talk the most.

In all honestly it's not like he didn't trust you or anything but knowing... understanding and caring about his past and future, made it a bit hard for him to open up sometimes.

Currently there is a debriefing going on about the upcoming mission, most likely they'll leave tonight but that didn't affect you one bit. It was time to start your new show GRIMM. "Hey y/n, were going to be heading out tonight . Be about a week" Steve's voice pulling your attention from the TV. "Please be careful!" "Always am, doll" he smiled with a hug over the couch. Just as he was about to leave you got enough courage to speak

"cap?"

"Y/N"

" umm' you started to play with your hands ' can you tell Bucky quietly like... like quietly to be safe, i wish him all the safety i can"   Steve just smirks before leaving.

you've been watching movies and TV since the team left and didn't even realize it was just past 12:30, until you received a text from Steve reading  * Told him, he was blushing, he said  ' what a doll', we landed safely. Have a good night*  Well a goodnight it is. A good night's rest would be the start to a week of peace.

your pillow was soaked with sweat. It was hot as hell in this room. Rolling over didn't help cause now you're in cold sweat. Slightly opening one eye to look at the clock. 5:30. ' what the fuck' you whispered to yourself.

" hey JARVIS, what is the current temp?"

"  Currently it is 87 F"

" How about the coldest rooms?"

" well that would be the Med Bay, Living room and Mr. Barns' living quarters, will that be all?" "yes, thank you"... I guess it the living room.

Trying to fall back to sleep was a no go, I mean the couch isn't the comfiest thing and let me tell you was shit this late or I guess this early. Finding some random show you could feel yourself drifting.

A very faint buzzing and beeping noise was just to enough to pull you out of your light sleep. Sadly it was probably your 9 am alarm. Normally you didn't like to sleep in, unless you went to bed at a ridiculous hour. Felt like you were wasting away the day.

It hadn't gotten that much hotter but 90 is still 90 and inside the tower wasn't much better since some idiots broke  the main AC unit  and won't fix it. Ya that not so little and contained war in the middle of the city with Thor's crazy brother Loki, ya they fucked up the tower in the process.  I know crazy right. But like also its Tony Stark here, the riches man yet he can't seem to get the ac fixed. Completely absurd and now your suffering .

A cold shower and fresh clothes seem to help a bit but by now you were hungry and didn't want to cook anything or be adding heat to the house. The kitchen was as dirty as can be, looks like wild beasts came in destroyed everything then just left. Lord help me. So take out it is!  While I wait for food, might as well clean . " JARVIS, can you blast the party mix please & thank you".

At this point there was more dancing then cleaning but overall you were enjoying  yourself so that's all that mattered . Strip That Down came on and you couldn't help but act like you were in the club.

Pointing to your reflection on the fridge, singing into a wooden spoon.

Bucky Pov

We haven't even left yet and I don't even want to go. We've only been back home for a couple days. I know its only a week of gaining inter, interrogation and everything between.  Honestly I'll miss y/n's joyful self like I always do if she doesn't join, sometimes she comes and makes the trip a little brighter . Her bright smile and little side comments mixed with jokes keeps us sane during the missions.

I've got these feelings for her but she is so out of my ledge its not funny. Even though shes been here about a year I haven't gotten to know her really, but i'd like too. She treated and still does; like a normal person, not a monster, not a killer and not scary. She is kind and beautiful inside n out, i just know it.

For Christmas y/n got me an Ipod with all the latest music from a bit of every thing and one that was filled with the old goodies. AND let me tell you I didn't even realised how much I missed music until this.  She'll update it every so often too.  I've remembered the party boy/ Lady's man I use to be its crazy how much has changed. For the the worst and best. This song Thunder is pretty interesting. Music is so much different now compared to the 40's.

Days later

" Great job everyone, just a day or two longer and we'll  be home" Steve said walking back on the let . Everyone was exhausted from the long day and went to find somewhere to lay down and get some shut-eye. You were headed to the row of seats along the wall in hopes of getting your own shut eye.

"Buck, im going up to talk to the pilots and check in , will you check on the tower?"

"umm, why?"

" Make sure y/n is fine and hasn't burnt down the tower" Steve laughed

"I guess . Sure"  Honestly this felt super weird. Felt like you were invading her privacy but like it's also making sure shes okay. I’m sure she'll be fine till morning but right now it was bed time.

I woke up about 7 and have been just sipping coffee and thinking bout a bit of everything. From memory's to the future to fantasies of all kinds. What if's.  what if i was just frozen for 70 years like Steve?  What if I hadn't fallen from the train? What if i wasnt a H.Y.D.R.A test solider?  What if i find a girl?  What if that girl was y/n and what if she liked you like you liked her.

Oh shit you were suppose to check on her. I guess now is as good as ever. Walking over you grabbed one of the laptops and signed in. Still feels funny but plugged in your headphone anyhow. Actually you know whats funny? Y/N. This girl is in the kitchen cleaning and dancing. Turning up the volume to hear whats going on.

It like you were lost in her trance. She was swaying back and forth while washing some dishes. How could someone be so cute while washing some plates, it was beyond you. Turning around she grabbed some bags and set them in the fridge but as soon as the door shut if was a switch slipped and she just starts dancing. A little crazy at first like running here hand through her hair, pointing at her reflection and then she dropped it. On the way up she swayed and her hands trialed up her body. FUCKING HELL what is this, this is the hottest shit ever and I want to be in that kitchen right now.

" Hey. How's y/n ?" Steve said walking up to you. You exited the screen, sadly, and slammed the laptop shut. " Uh she's fine. Looked like she was finishing up cleaning that dirty kitchen of ours" you stuttered out trying to act like you didn't just see that.

Oh man what is it going to be like when you get back home.

TAGS 

@september-rose  @dugupbeauty @sophiealiice

[strawberryspeachy]

So far on the boys ive talked to in japan - aside that teacher

1) around september i decided to look at whose on tinder. One boy i matched with talked to me and didn’t stop responding upon finding out i was not japanese. He helped me with a couple japanese phrases - telling me what sounded most natural. Asked me if i lived alone. Said he wanted to meet me.... asked if i was free that week. I said yes. I gave him a couple days that i was off. He never responded again - that was about 5-6~ days into talking

2) october i went to a club... after a disappointing night i talked to the cute ... not bar person but like he was on the floor. I thought he’d walk away but he got all happy and kept moving close to me to talk. It being too loud combined with my poor japanese and his no english meant we used google translate to talk mostly. Added each other on instagram and he said he’d like to hang out sometime. I asked about a few days and he pulled out his calendar and both were days he worked- he had two jobs. He said we’ll figure out a time later. We had some conversations on instagram. Then after a couple weeks his stories always showed him with friends. I asked him a couple times when he was free and he said he was working all the time. After another weekish of that i said it seemed that he had time to see his friends but not me. And he basically just said yep

3) december i got back on tinder. But for real. Not just a qick swipe through. Talked to the next guy with a bunch of other dudes. Was just talking. Trying to improve my english. Hoping someone would ask me to go eat with them since that is what id written on my profile. This boy asked me to hang out. We’d talked more and more over the two weeks and he said he really wanted to see me. But he couldnt cause he was working too much. Then he told me when he has a break. I had the flu at the same time and told him id tell him when i was better and he got sweeter and sweeter toward me. Then we talked on the phone and it was awkward and difficult cause my japanese not being great is even worse when i cant gesture. But it went well. Then. Suddenly. Over text the tinder boy - lets have sex! - bs came up. I said i didnt want to the first time we meet and i wanna just talk. He asked a couple more times about it and then agreed. The day before we talked on the phone again - he suddenly said he had to take another call and hung up and then didnt say anything else the rest of the night. I freaked out a bit that night thinking hed stopped talking to me. But the next morning he messaged me like nothing happened. Didnt even want to acknowledge my freak out aside from telling me not to think so much.

We met up. He took me to a shrine. We got fortunes and ties them to a tree... then he took me to his apartment... fast... he said he wanted to watch movies together.... bought... chocolate. I mean great but i wanted real food i was hungry. Then. He kept trying to have sex with me. So many times just pushed and pushed. Would not take no for an answer. Finally when... he was trying to take off more of my clothes and i wouldnt let him and said no again. He asked if i had my period. And only stopped after i said i did. Kept trying to pursuade me to give him a blowjob.

Before that... he asked me to be his girlfriend. Said he was moving soon and asked me to move in with him. Told me hed be workig two jobs for the rest of january so we couldnt meet again till February...

Anyhow after i kept saying no to a blow job and other stuff happened i asked him if we could go get food. He said he didnt have money and cooked bad ramen on the stove and french fries... he drank a bunch of alcoholic. We watched some music videos and he went to sleep.

When he kinda seemed to wake up i tried to make a point of me leaving. He just acted kinda annoyed that he had to even still deal with me being there at that point and ignored me while trying to sleep... he ghosted me right in front of me

He replied to my text the next day with some nonsense and about a week later he told me about his apartment plans. He sent one last text about it before... never responding again

I let it be for the next four weeks... till the days he was supposededly done working two jobs and couls see me again. Hed made story postings during this time

But yea. Never replied to me again

4) some boy who wanted to get better at english cause hes moving to the us. We talked on the phone a couple times near christmas. He complained about not having a gf and said he wanted to hang out. But the times i asked he was “busy”. We hung out once... played darts. He said he didnt want to drink cause he drank the night before and he ate before meeting me so left early.... said next time. There was never a next time.

5) some guy i talked to a bit. He asked to meet up. I agreed. Took a whole for us to find each other cause he kept...... hanging up the phone on me.... he didnt look like his pic and he dressed weird. He basically hailed me over when he found me and then walked fast so that i basically had to chase him around. He was one of those dudes that walks with his hands out like people are supposed to move for him. After about 20 minutes of that he told me to wait while he pretended to get a call and then told me his dog is sick and he needed to leave to take her to the hospital. He said well meet again. Never saw him again not that i wanted too.

6) talked to another boy for a couple weeks. Just about fun stuff it was good conversation. We talked about music and movies and murder mystery parties. About our days and just generally the kind of good conversation you have with friends. Around the third week we talked about meeting... but. Then. Tinderboy - i wanna have sex! Came into the convo... i told him i had my period and asked if we could go out to drink instead. He said lets drink before we do next week. Whatever. Next week comes around. Same good conversation everyday. The day of comes and he responded to me in the morning reconfirming the time and place and stuff. Once the time to meet rolled around. No response. I called him a couple times more so to bitch him out. He blocked me.

7) some other dude. We talked a bit. He asked me to go out to eat. Post poned 3 times that night cause he was working later than he was supposed to. I was so hungry. No he didn’t wanna go out to eat. Bought me some convience store food and barely let me finish eating before hooking up... he said thanks to my happy birthday message. But otherwise we havent talked again. Even though hes a ten minute walk away.

8) then of course theres the absolutely adorable boy who took me out on the date of my dreams.... until he silently walked me the train station. Said bye. And now has slowly ghosted me all week. He just unmatched me on tinder after i asked about it so. Guess he’s gone. Which has me feeling fucking terrible.

9) talked to a guy a couple days ago. He asked if i wanted to hook up. I basically agreed. I WANTED HUMAN CONTACT ON VALENTINES DAY. He told me beforehand he was only free for a couple hours. Asked if i wanted him to pick me up the night before buttttt i got my hair treated and shouldnt sweat so i said it was too late and i needed to sleep. He met me. Late. At the station and walked me back yo his apartment after i was done work. One of my students saw me with him... embarrassing. We talked a lot. Hes the oldest guy ive ever... anything. Though still just 29. It would have been a good conversation if... i didnt know he asked me to come have sex and then never made a move. An hour and a half in he suddenly went

Oh its the time! Sorry go. I should have agreed to his request for yesteday instead of insisting on friday.

Ive been freaking out about 8 and i messaged him asking if he lost interest in me. He never responded to my message asking if he wanted to hookup yesterday. He didnt respond for 20 minutes and then i said either say yes or no so im not waiting. And he almost immediately responded with no. So. Idk.

10) talked to some dude from hong kong yesteday. He messaged me first saying he doesnt like japan and just came for the food. Ive been crying all day and basically hust bitched about japan to him. Apparently he doesnt actually dislike japan... he just doesnt like the bidets.... and i told him my home life sucks so im here but here sucks too so wtf. Ya know. Things that are totally attractive go someone you started talking to a half an hour ago. He said he wanted to talk about food. Im good at food talk ok. Then asked if i wantrd to meet up and look for cake with him. Sure. Shinjuku. The same placd i met 5 and 3. Thought id break the- everytime i come to this city im depressed. Cause before them the last time i went to shinjuku in the summer. I couldnt find the clothes shops i was looking for. There were couples all around me. And it was the first day in japan i felt so utterly and truely miserable and alone and like nothing in my life was better. I was still hoping at that point that the teacher i worked with would go with me and show me around and i left thinking next time i go itll be better cause i wont be alone.

Well shinjuku appears to be bad luck for me. I got stressed trying to find this boy and sounded like it over the phone. But he still met up with me. I brought him some snacks from the baskery near me on my way. We talked. He speaks english. But he just asked about my job... how do you get it. Is it hard. Whats its pay.

I walked past a cake shop on my way to meet him and i showed him the cakes he said he really wanted. He said he didnt bring much cash so he didnt want it.... k i thought that was the point of this trip but whatever. He asked me if i was hungry three times. I said i ate before coming because normally when i meet people we dont eat and i go hunry. I left out the YOU SAID YOU WANTED CAKE!!! Part. He said he was hungry but didnt want me to not eat while he did. So i told him to find a place with desert and ill eat desert while he eats a meal. Were walking. This is about 25 minutes in and he starts to complain his legs hurt and that hes tired. Another 10 minutes pass and he complains more about how he feels like hes floating and his shoes dont fit. I see mcdonals and say i know this is lame but ive kinda been craving a big mac. Its fine if not cause ya know your visiting japan but would you want mcdonals. He jokes about it and then goes yea i could go for a bigmac. We get in the store and he tells me to go. And i tell him to go ahead first. Then he says no he feels sick and doesnt want to eat.... tells me to eat... the exact situation he didnt want earlier

Hm. Gee. I wonder whats coming. I say i only wanted to eat cause he said he was hungry. We leave and then he says maybe its tmi but - proceeds to tell me about being constipated. I didnt try to listen. Btw he was 6’4 and kinda difficult to hear if i didnt try. I wrap that up with. Yea i think that was a tmi story but good for you. Cause the gist of it was that he could shit now.

Then. You know its coming. He says hes gonna go home. I stop acting happy. I told myself the next time this happened id confront them.

We met up at 7 and it was now like 7:50. My train is 10 bucks round trip.

But. I couldn’t think of anything to say.

All i could say after a while of kinda just going silent was - whyd you ask me to meet if you were so tired.

And he aaid cauae walking around japan alone isnt fun. Yeah mean i know. I said that to you over text earlier.

I asked him if i dont look like my pic. He says i look exactly like my pic.

I say a few times before ive met up with guys and we never talk again. And he goes - well youre meeting strangers and sometimes it just doesnt click

He unmatchd me the moment he got on his train. I imagine were still friends on snapchat cause he probably deleted it since he redownloaded it to talk to me

So yea. Same experiences as back home because im me and i will always be cursed and miserable. I dont wanna sleep cause im waiting to see when that boy in 8 will block me on line... cause i sent alot of messages. It doesnt help me to know when.... but.... ya... idk. Someone shoot me please