#if they're playing with us I'm gonna be so upset yall

[hall0wedwyrm]

nononononono they're not allowed to say Silksong got a rating in Australia and THEN announce an Indie World. this isn't okay. This is NOT OKAY.

edit: this aged like milk nevermind 🤡

[gyusfavlibra]

DON’T CALL ME THAT | JOHNNY SUH IMAGINE

PAIRINGS: female YouTuber! x Johnny suh!

Warnings: slight angst, fluff

"What's up yall, welcome back to my channel. If you're new here, my name is Y/n. And welcome to my YouTube.

So the idea for today is to pull a prank. If you're on my channel a lot, you know I pull tons of pranks on my boyfriend and family.

We're both really big joksters so I really like to just take every opportunity possible to get him before he gets me.

So as of now, Johnny is playing video games with a few of his best friends online. I wanted something that would lower his mood for a better reaction but something he wouldn’t take as serious after I reveal that it’s a prank.

Now, if you follow Johnny and his group, NCT, then you know they all love to call each other "bro". Johnny and I don't really have big pet names besides our nicknames and "babe". I just think they're weird, but I have never once called him bro so he'll definitely notice right away.

At least I'd hope so. I'm gonna just try an play it like like normal. Act like I did nothing wrong and go from there. I think we'll get a very good reaction which will be great, because that's what we want.

So before we start, like and subscribe. And leave prank ideas down below for next time.

*transition😐🖕*

Setting up a camera, Y/n made sure it could record the part of the room they both sat on. It captured a wide view of the area. Pleasing the wanted expectation.

Giving the camera a thumbs up, Y/n sat on the bed, placed behind Johnny's small gaming set up with his PS5 and computer he used quite a bit. Whether it was work or just free time fun.

Minutes had passed before Y/n decided to actually start anything. Giving the mood a moment to chill before it got tense.

She sat in a laying down position so her side was aligned with the camera sat on the dresser. Tapping the busy guy on the games' shoulder, she pointed to her blue transparent water bottle on the desk. Johnny uncovered one ear.

"Can you please hand me that?"

Obeying her question, Johnny picked up the closed item and handed it over. "Thanks bro."

The words kind of echoed in his ear. Causing his eyes to linger on hers for a second before ignoring it and turning back to the game. Y/n looked over to the camera and snickered. She didn’t think she’d have this much excitement jolting through her body so fast. But she was definitely wrong.

She motioned a shushing action to the device before pretending to act serious once again. Y/n scrolled through a couple things on her Instagram discovery page before calling out.

"Hey bro, do we have any ramyeon left? I’m so hungry.”

Johnny stated a hold response to the online gamers he played with, and turned around. He pulled a headphone piece off one hear and looked dead at Y/n looking at him with raised eyebrows.

"What?"

He decided to chuckle. "What'd you say?"

"I asked if there was leftovers? I’m hungry.”

He didn't reply instead glared at her with the fake smile he tried his best to keep plastered so Y/n didn't think there was something wrong. "Bro, what?"

"Y/n, don't do that," he dryly laughed again.

It took everything in her to not laugh herself. Which the need successfully passed but who knew how long before it does a 180 and comes back.

"Do we have ramyeon or not?" the individual asked, pulling at her bottom lip.

Johnny puts the ear piece back on and waved his hand at Y/n. "In the fridge."

"Thanks, bro."

The boyfriend sighed. Rubbing his hair through his dark brown hair. The fake smile was now far gone. Not liking the friendly pet name. Y/n climbed off the bed and quietly grabbed the camera. Running off to the kitchen, sure to shut the door behind her.

"Alright, so far so good guys. He's just laughing it off for now, which most of you guys know that Johnny will fake laugh when he’s uncomfortable. Or kill you with his sharp look. And the laughs he was doing were definitely fake. Like he was upset and wanted to say something more serious, but didn't wanna start a mess or create tension. So we're good so far."

Even though grabbing food wasn't apart of the plan, Y/n grabbed some actual food anyway. Also noting that if she didn't, he'd question it.

Y/n was sure to hide the camera in the kitchen just in case he came out or the scenes moved to another area since the view in the kitchen overlooked their whole shared apartment. That included, dining area living room, and the hallway which led to their bedroom and bathroom.

Minutes had passed of Y/n preparing food, Johnny had noticed her timed disappearance and came out into the food area to view her hungry progress.

"You want some?"

He shook his head. Instead grabbing a soda out their cooled containment. "Okay, bro."

Y/n sat in a chair at the dining table. Beginning to chew away at her food. Johnny clapped his hand down on the counter with a huff before joining her.

"Damn, brooo, this is so good, bro."

He stared at his phone blankly, wanting so desperately to address his issue, though he held it back for a second. But only for so long.

Y/n, stared at something random before giggling then placing a fist over her lips. "BROOOOO, LOOK AT THIS!"

She turned their phone to Johnny, showing a fanart piece of one of his bandmates. He nodded to the art piece and flicker his orbs to his lover. "Damn, bro, that was so cool."

He tossed his phone down onto the glass table.

"Y/n."

"Hm."

"Why do you keep doing that?"

She stared at his blankly. Mouth full of chewed food. "Doin’ what?"

"Don't act clueless. You know what you're doing?"

"Do I? I thought I was just enjoying my food and looking at art. Bro, like, what's the problem?"

"Y/n, stop fuc- stop doing that."

"Bro," she set her chopsticks down into the bowl of noodles. "Seriously, Johnny, what am I doing?"

"Don't call me that."

"What? Johnny?"

"No. The other thing?"

She looked around, pretending to not know exactly what he was talking about which made this even funnier. She almost laughed but pulled it off by clearing her throat then drinking water from the glass beside her.

"Bro, I don't get it-"

"Y/n, don't call me that. I'm not kidding."

"Call you what-"

"Bro," he exclaimed. "Don't call me bro. Seriously don't do that."

"Bro? Why not?"

He shook his head. Pulling her bowl of food into his direction. "You don't get to call me bro.

"Why?"

He stole a bite. Passing it back. Johnny swallowed the food and waved his finger side to side. "Only friends call people bro. We're not friends."

"Uh-," she hiccups. Holding a hand over her heart. "We aren't friends?"

"No. We are dating. Boyfriend and girlfriend. Lover and lover. You're not suppose to call each other "bro"."

"But I like it."

"I do not care. Don't do it again."

"Bro, wh-"

"Y/N! STOP!”

She giggled. Holding her hands out with a shrug. "WHAT? There's nothing wrong with it!"

"There's everything wrong with it! If you don't wanna call me babe, love, or whatever then call me by my name or anything, but do not call me bro. I hate it."

"Mark does it?"

"Mark is my friend."

She sat back, a good tiny idea popping in her head. "Wait, so If I break up with you, I can call you bro?"

Johnny went into full blank space mode. Absolutely shocked by her question, even more shocked that she would even have the guts to ask him that, let alone think of it.

"Stop. It's not funny.”

"Bro, I'm just-“

Johnny arose from the table, grabbing his phone to shove it into his pocket. He exited the room which caused Y/n to laughed out loud. Finally not able to hold her laugh in no more.

"Wait! Bro, Johnny!"

Grabbing the camera, she ran into the bedroom where he had previously gone. Sitting back in his gaming chair. She came up behind him and wrapped an arm around him from behind, placing a kiss on his cheek. Which he seemed numb towards. "B-"

"Don't-“

"I'm not. I was gonna say babe. Look, it's just a prank. Look-"

"Stop," he nudged his head to the side. Y/n laughed again, peppering kisses on his cheek. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Forgive me!"

"No."

"Awe man, guess I'll give my love to someone else.”

"You gonna call them bro too?" he asked, followed by a chuckle.

"Please forgive me!" she yelled in tiny. Nuzzling her nose on his cheek. Johnny turned to look at her. Noticing her beautiful giggly side that he couldn't lie, he did love it very much.

"Tell me you love me."

"I love you."

His cheeks began turning a bright pink. "Again."

"I love you."

"Okay, you're forgiven."

Johnny grabs the camera holding it outward so they could film the outro together. But his idea of that scene was different than a usual one.

"Okay, she got me yall. I was mad. Like and subscribe. Comment team Johnny because I will get her back later on. Just saying."

"You're mean.'

Johnny smiled and pecked her lips. "And that's the outro. Bye bye."

[alitgblog]

okok finally caught up on litg s9

gonna try to summarize this neatly bc my game didn't save properly and I played volume 10 twice and sped through volume 11

Zeph is hot and thats a problem for me bc I'm so annoyed at the lack of branching and consequences in this game it has manifested into me making up story for fusebox about MC being upset that Stefan keeps acting like nothing is wrong when I personally am still upset casa amor got Chen dumped (ok that was my fault technically but only bc I wanted him to come back to drama). So now I'm like MC should have a summer fling with Zeph, why not

they're so wishy washy about how Kelly and Finn broke up and it just all feels like hearsay all the time. at the end of volume 11 they seem to decide Kelly thought it was all done pretty respectfully but her comments in volume 10 about movie night seem to disagree??? just asking for a little bit of consistency since I gotta track other people's drama other than my own

also so sorry to kelly who is actually interested in zeph and I am less so interested in him and more just annoyed at the bad writing for stefan

the writing has always been stilted and/or cringe but for some reason I notice it especially with Zeph, like it does feel like his dialogue was written by AI unfortunately. And it puts me off his character a lot, except, again, he's hot and so maybe I'm just like hey don't hurt your pretty head trying to think up romantic scenarios, Zeph. Something odd about him too is he doesn't mention any previous connection to Love Island, and I know he's a new character, but at least Henri and Chen talked about their last times on the show.

I'd like to apologize

I don't know what surprise we're getting next volume but for my own storyline I kinda want the guy dumped post casa to come back. like I'd go back to Chen easy. but this is my delusional ass still just hoping we get drama from casa bc they dropped the ball on it again this season. Curious about talent show but considering how they fucked up Mr Love Island I have little hope.

I forgot this meant we'd have to deal with eddie. hes there like Johnny/Nicolas to the point where I almost prefer if it was one of them around but at least his chaos run makes more sense than johnny/Nicolas just randomly deciding to stir shit out of nowhere after leading MC on and the game forcing us to couple with them.

Eddie pls stfu poor Kelly

said this before but if eddie was gonna show up for heart rate challenge why didn't he do a little dance? is it because he sucks as a bombshell??? YEAH. It makes so much more sense to switch him and Zeph, like yeah that would mean we have less time with zeph and more with Eddie, but Zeph could put on a good heart rate challenge performance and Eddie could be way more catty and start shit during movie night than Zeph who wanted to play nice.

I'm so sad to say goodbye to Finn because it felt like he didn't get a good chance (unless MC is pursuing him I guess). but compared to Hamish, who, even if he got dumped here, would've had a lifelong friendship with MC and Natasha and had multiple chances to couple with people, it feels sad to see him go without a good ending. I mean I guess he's got closure with Kat and Kelly, but he felt always stuck in those couples whereas Hamish tried to explore connections with Natasha, Uma, and Melissa. I just think we should've let him punch Eddie in the face after eddie was so mean to Kat and MC.

I've decided to watch the hamish route vicariously through yall and I'll go for wither zeph or Stefan unless something else wild happens until the finale. so yall better tell me what happens it was such a hard decision when the game narrowed it down 🥺

I also think it would be great if we had chats with characters to decide who we're sticking with. like this season aside from maybe the beginning henri/chen/MC/Melissa thing, it feels like one of the other girls always asks you "who do you want to be chosen by" and then you tell her and that person picks you, but then you never address it or outright reject the other person face to face. it's always just like two sentences or just "a sad look" or a gem scene I'm not paying for.

one positive thing I've seen this last volume though is the mini date with your LI before Zeph's date. like its one of the better scenes they've written that isn't just someone outright saying I like you or just chatting. like its fun, and the only other moment I can think of that's similar that doesn't cost gems is the Hamish eavsdropping scene. now if only this was also tailored to your LI because as someone coupled with Stefan, low key unexpected, but imagine if I had picked Henri??

also a lot more choices this volume were worth 10 gems I think

that being said the amount they're asking for in the heart rate challenge is crazy for literally one scene because MC's outfit is like 14+ gems, then you van go for am extra 10 to see your male LI's outfit, and then another extra 10 for the female LI outfit. and this hardly changes the gameplay or gives you more info 🙃

[viscountessevie]

Idk if and when you'll start answering benophie asks again but I cant help but notice how all the 🌼 that shit on aofag by saying its classist and elitist are also the same people who don't want to see that story played out on screen. It's such textbook virtue signaling and I'm tired of it. Like just say that you don't relate to to sophie or her story of trauma and abuse, just say that you want a story about two rich people going to balls and falling in love. There's nothing wrong with that. (1)

Related Ask I got about a week after(?): 

First off hii anon thank you for sending this in and waiting a while! 

Just a lot of shit happened on this blog and then when you sent this in I was trying to keep my blog ‘neutral’ because some people took offence to my post calling you-know-whos after a old timey disease and decided that we wouldn’t be impartial with our poll results which btw I apologise to everyone who is still waiting for it - I’ve been depressed (I’m fine don’t worry it just be like that sometimes) and my friends all have started school/work so life has happened we’re going to try to compile everything starting this weekend hopefully! Will come back with more updates when we’re ready to post. 

That tangent aside, that’s why I couldn’t answer right away and then everything on my blog happened but now it’s free rein, The Petty Viscountess is here and ready to answer all your anons venting and calling shit out on you know which fandom. Not even gonna bother giving them a cute nickname, they’ll whine. 

Let’s get into your ask, shall we! I don’t have more points to add to be honest - you said it all! 

Sophie saved their book!! And also we have Luke T to thank for making Ben even more likeable! Ben has his charming moments in the books but we all - even those of us who love him - gotta admit he was so creepy at times being so pushy. I think its good for us Benophines to accept that part of him in Book Canon and engage critically with that aspect of him. 

However that being said, you’re absolutely right about the way other subfandom fans can be so annoying about our ships by acting all high and mighty about their ship both being virgins. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that inherently and it can be romantic - but to act like that somehow makes their racist faves a morally better couple??? Do they realise they sound super puritan and like Church Pastors and Nuns who scared us former Christian kids into not having sex cos it was supposedly a sin?? 

It’s funny when you realise now most of them are trying to their couple out to be Kathony 2.0 in order to generate the hype for S3 its pretty sad that they don’t even believe in their own ship to let them be their own people.

To end this ask off I do wanna reiterate two very poignant points you made in your ask: 

I'm disinterested in half the bridgerton ships but I don't go around pretending to have a good reason why.  

They're already getting their season a year early, just leave us to our misery and they enjoy the content you get instead of constantly rubbing it in our faces. Every single ship is annoying but *god* their egos have inflated to the size of a bounce house lately. 

I have no idea why That Subfandom is so hellbent on everyone liking them and their ship so damn much. Like just accept that the show version have shitty versions of those characters and that majority of your fandom are racist assholes so the rest of us want nothing to do with you!! Be secure in yourselves and accept that you don’t need anyone else’s validation - yall have shown yourselves that you’re are deluded enough anyway. 

[I always say this but just a reminder: the only valid ones are most of the time Book Polins who hate the show version and are upset their fave chars have been character assassinated - I actually have a Polin who sent me an ask about this! I didn’t forget you - I’m just putting tgt a list of positive rep for you anon so hang in there <3. Also there is ONE rare person I’ve talked to who does critically engage with Show Pen so they’re okay - I just wish they would be more confrontational with their fandom tho.]

Back to you Benophie Anon: Your last line made me LAUGH OUT LOUD and LOUDER FOR THE RACISTS AT THE BACK: 

They're already getting their season a year early,... enjoy the content you get instead of constantly rubbing it in our face. *god* their egos have inflated to the size of a bounce house lately.

Check yourselves @ you-know-whos!! Another season why we don’t like you, no one likes gloater and we get it Production Loves You so just stay in your corner! Leave us the fuck alone and stop being so self-righteous and trying to make your ship Kathony 2.0, they’ll never be Lord and Lady Bridgerton. Only Mr. and Miss for you. 

Anyways last thing: @ both anons who sent in their asks if you’re anti-racist/homophobia/sexist Benophies who don’t send doxxing threats, please hit up my friends Belle aka sophiamariabeckett and Michaela aka minim236 they need more sane Benophie mutuals/friends! We’re tired of finding out some Benophies here and/or Twitters are secret racists or homophobes [this ask got long so I’ll put the red flags in the comments] 

[melancholicillusions]

"No one ever truly gets over the loss of a loved one..."

*next morning*

You had woken up earlier than expected but you decided to head out and quickly get some food for the two of them and yourself.

"Hi, um can I get three breakfast sandwiches.. with one banana milk and two coffees?" You asked.

"Yes you can! Will that be all?" The kind woman asked cheerfully.

You couldn't help but smile, "Yes, ma'am it will, thanks!" You responded as she told you your total and told you to pull up to the next window.

"Here you go! Have a good day!" She said, smiling as she handed you your card and receipt first, then your drinks and food

"No, you have an amazing week!" She chuckled pulling off as she laughed back.

____________

-Jeonghans P.O.V.-

Slowly but surely I started to stir in my sleep especially when Haru started to kick and push in her sleep, groaning I swung my feet off the edge of y/n's guest bed. Not really sure of what to do next, before ultimately but also reluctantly making the decision to look for y/n.

Trying my best not to wake Haru, I cover her back up kissing her cheek.

"I'll be back honey.." I whisper as I quietly shut the door.

"Um, y/n...?" I whisper yelled, poking my head around the corner into the dimly lit living room. Nothing..

I made my way into the kitchen.. nothing. The bathroom door was open but dark, nothing..

I walked back down the dim hallway and to her room, in which the door was closed. I gently tapped it and got no response.

'She must have left... I'll just leave her a note.' Jeonghan thought to himself, quickly walking back into the kitchen and grabbing a classic yellow sticky note.

'Dear y/n, thank you for letting Haru and I stay the night it was greatly appreciated. - Jeonghan.'

____________

"Haru.. Haru..! Wake up honey.." I wispered to her. She flung her arm at me unconsciously, I barely managed to dodge it. I gently pinched her rosey cheek. A small smile playing on my lips, calling back to the first time I did that to her, while she was wrapped in a pink cloth.

'she was so small then..' I thought to myself, feeling something run down the side of my face.

"Mm... daddy...?" Haru blinked, looking at me. "...daddy why are you crying?" She asked worry on her pale face.

I was shocked, I hadn't realized..

"O-oh.. sweetheart.. no daddies fine, he was just thinking about mommy... But right now we have to go.. okay?" I said wiping my face quickly.

She sat up her raven black hair frizzled almost mimicking a birds nest. However this cute site didnt change the expression that was of worry and sadness carved into her soft features.

"But daddy, it's cold outside and it warm in here... can we stay just a little longer? Pleaseeee.." Haru begged clasping her tiny hands together, looking up at him.

Jeonghan gave a forced smile. "I know honey.. but daddy will figure it out.." he said.

'Eventually...' he thought.

"But for now y/n isnt here, let's go get dressed and leave, we dont wanna be a bother to y/n anymore than we have.."

He muttered before picking his daughter up, and grabbing her clothes,

"Y/n said we're a bother?" Haru said hurt on her face.

"N-no sweetheart.. you're a bit too young to understand..." he trailed off, "Here, go get dressed with the basics.. I'll help you with your socks and shoes.."

"Okay daddy!" She said happily running off into the bedroom bathroom. But not before asking for help for the bathroom light which her father gladly helped with.

•20 minutes later•

"Okay, Haru. Do you have everything?"

"Hmmm, I got my bows, and my pretty pink shoes... and I got my daddy too!" She giggled and Jeonghan picked her up smiling.

________________

"Okay.." I sighed, "..home sweet home.."

I hurried into the building and up the stairs. Once I made my way to my floor, I sat my stuff down on the floor holding the food in one arm while my keys were in the other. Regardless I was shock when the door knob started to turn and the door swung open, I was met face to face with Jeonghan and Haru in his arms, his eyes met mine and were wide and filled with shock.

"A-ah!" He said in a startled manner, stepping back. "Haru and I were just about to leave.. thank you for giving us a place to stay for the night..." he blushed.

"O-oh, well... I was hoping you two would stay.. even if it's just for breakfast... I-I mean I did buy a sandwich and a drink for each of us.." I said looking down.

"Food! Daddy can we stay?! Please even if it's just for breakfast!" Haru beamed.

Jeonghan seemed a bit taken aback, "um, I'm pretty sure y/n has things to do.. we dont wanna interrupt her life.."

Y/n wasnt sure if she should be offended or saddened by the way he felt.

"No! You're not a bother... I'm off today anyways... and it gets lonely around here... stay all long as you need.. besides, the foods getting coldz I'm getting cold, and its supposed to be another storm to night.. they're expecting at least 12 inches of snow.." y/n consoled.

Jeonghan sighed stepping to the side, "if you say so..." he says defeated but relieved as well.

"So we can stay?!" Haru professed.

Y/n looked down at her "Yes my dear.." she smiled. Walking into her home. Jeonghan caught himself staring at her in a romantic way...

"Um, Jeonghan could you close the door? Heat isnt free you know.." she joked.

"O-oh right of course.." he blushed.

Haru jumped out of his arms and ran to the table where y/n placed the food down.

_____________

"Wheres Haru?" You asked.

Jeonghan looked up from his hands. "I put her to sleep.. she was getting whiny so it was nap time.."

"Oh.." was all you could say, but you couldn't help but notice he seemed upset about something.

"Jeonghan, are you okay? You seem.. stressed..."

He let out a deep chuckle. "... because I am... I'm a homeless single father who cant find a job for shit. And a daughterwho looks up at me even in my worst of moments.."

You pursed your lips. "Well I can help you look for one, and in the mean time you and Haru take your time.. okay? And shes you daughter shes gonna do that..."

"Y/n-" he started.

You stopped him, "Jeonghan. Dont. Even. I get wanting to do thing by yourself.. but its January and it's not just you who's at stake here.. So I'm not allowing you to decline my offer."

Jeonghan was taken back by her sudden sternness, he couldn't help but smile as he made the unconscious decision to push aside her coiled locks and lean in closer to her before their lips gently collided with each others.

________________

-3 months later-

Y/n was sitting at the table helping Haru with her homework when a thrilled, but sweating Jeonghan burst through the door.

"I not even a knock or a 'hi'?" Y/n exclaimed in a semi-joking manner.

"Daddy!" Haru beamed running to his side where he picked her up spinning her around.

Out of breath he exclaimed, "I got it!"

Y/n arched her brows. "You got wha- Oh my god! Jeonghan that's amazing honestly!"

"Yes, I got the job!" He beamed holding y/n at his chest.

She smiled kissing Haru on the cheek, and him on his soft pink lips.

"I'm gonna save up for our wedding y/n! I love you so much!" He said.

Haru harshly interrupted, "What about me! And mommy...?"

Jeonghan sighed.. "haru.. I will always love your mother... much like how y/n will always love her husband.. but they've both gone to a better place, and one day we will join them.. but right now, I'm sure they would both want you, me, and y/n to be happy... I hope you can understand that, and not resent y/n for it." He said.

"Nows probably not the best time.. but you never truly get over the loss of a loved one.." you wispered.

Jeonghan kissed your forehead and kissed Harus cheek as well.

A/n: ahhh this took forever I'm so sleepyyyyy but it's done! My thumb hurts! Yall better enjoy this!!! Lmao.

But no really i put so much energy and effort into this, so please dont expect an up date for at least a few months! Thanks for understanding! Platonically Para-socially love you guys! Enjoy! Bye! 💕

[sweet-xoxo-thatcares]

I just cried till I felt lavender all around me and I was back at grandma's house, sleeping on her couch and hearing CSI and law and order play.

I was screaming because of how painful this is.

My dad isn't the same father I grew up with, I know.

He and mom did the exact same thing to me around New years back when I was leaving to go to college soon in 2016, but I had been depressed since school started or maybe b4 that in 2015.

and they were both judging me, both ranting and wouldn't let me leave to go upstairs crying and I had to sit there and just listen to them both talk about how I should be grateful, and mom saying maybe if I would just made more friends and stop being so anti social then maybe I wouldn't be so depressed.

It was fucked up, and they didn't help me feel any better. It made me feel worse, like why the fuck did I even tell yall and why are you judging me for something I had experienced by myself, all alone for the very 1st time and all you guys are doing is just sitting here judging me for even being depressed 😔 and it was something my high school self couldn't even imagine my parents would do to me for feeling sad and wanting to be alone all the time in my room.

Their words felt like whoopens and it was a crime to be sad or angry in this house. While mom and dad get to argue and yell at me while I'm already snot nosed crying, tears streaming out of my puffy eyes, and when they finally told me off, finished.

Told me to go to my room. And just finish crying and then come back downstairs for new years celebration.

It wasn't safe there. And my sister, who came back up to check on me saw how much pain I was in.

I didn't even want her to see my face.

Why do they always assume that we are the ones who should be happy not getting what we asked for, not trusting anyone to tell how we feel about being alone to ourselves or to our parents because they think it's our faults that we're suicidal, stress eating and depressing....and me substance abuse.

They don't see that they're the ones who helped create the toxic environment we fail to runaway because they are the ones who gsve birth to us.

The Bible says honor your mother and your father.

But what does it say about mental health and mental abuse?

I've never heard a preacher say it's ok to runaway from your mother and father when they hurt you more than a stranger on the corner looking to steal or kill somebody.

We get lashes on out backs, the shoulders, the pops on the hand, the nail flicks to the head, and their words feels like those very same lashes.

We have emotional ptsd from them.

And this is finally the end.

I'm leaving my star wars troupe commander and allowing him to be the robot soldier father he's tryna be for his wife and kids.

But he'll never be the dad I thought he was.

He's just an overbearing father figure, who doesn't want his kids to see him unhappy and yea cosigns his mom/gf/wife to force her kids to be happy even if it means choosing to overcriticize them so they don't make their own mistakes or wear whatever they want to school, tell them they're not allowed to be upset or catch an attitude at them for making us do something that we don't want to do or need to. Choosing to hit us or aggressively threaten us by getting in our faces and bucking up at us if we says no to anything she asks.

She's basically bullying us to be people pleasing. And dad supports her because we're the kids, who have no right to say anything against them.

Including now. And I'm about to be 25 on Tuesday.

How horrible could you say I feel? I'm ready to go watch a Star Wars marathon in order to remind me that my father loves and cares about me even when he gaslights my emotions and tells me they're not real.

So I guess if he sees a slit on my wrist, we'll just make it a joke and say that it's a tattoo alright? 👍

Better not say anything gay, cause pocahontas sounds good too and anything that's reminds him or me of grandma is gonna make him pop off apparently.

Yup, my mouth shut like they taught me. Feeding myself baby food and applesauce. Locking my door.

Throw away the key.

[softdragon]

heads up

i'm back

but um. i accidentally watched the latest httyd trailer bc it popped up on my instagram explore page and u KNOW how hard it is to resist instagram videos bc they just start playing and keep going and going and.... yeah. so i saw the trailer. i got really annoyed bc whoevers in charge of marketing is doing a LOUSY job with trailers bc they're giving away too many scenes.

and um. i got more than a little upset bc i have waited for this movie for so long and i've already been spoiled for so much of it. like there are so many parts that could be surprises but they won't be bc i already know whats gonna happen. ugh. i'm upset. so anyway, i think i'll retract my statement of 'i WILL be staying online before i see the film, i don't wanna leave the fandom!!!' because actually, i do want to get away from httyd content for now. i'd rather try forget about and then hype myself up for it just before the film comes out in february. so... i think i'm gonna log out of tumblr on my phone, bc i spend way too much time on it and its just constant httyd content.

i'm not going on a proper hiatus or anything, i'm just staying away from the tumblr app so i won't be online everyday. i will check up on my laptop whenever i'm using it, but my point is, i won't be religiously checking tumblr for the next month

(ps: i doubt i'm gonna be able to refrain from drawing httyd stuff, so if u wanna see that (and u probably do bc that's probably the only reason yall follow me lmao) my instagram is oceanux)

time to log the fuck out of tumblr!!!!

seriously, its the 17th so its best if everyone logs out for the day so that whoever’s in charge at tumblr HQ notices the drop in activity. pls log out. just for today