#if they saw me through the window as they were leaving im sure they'd have tried spraying me with pesticides or something

[im-traumatised]

I feel like a creepy gargoyle. Poised in my dark, quiet cave of an apartment with coffee and a resting snarl face, bags under my eyes. Watching through the window as the happy family of my neighbours leave together in nice clothes to celebrate the holidays.

[mondaymelon]

actually... im fine with it. (yandere!pantalone x gn!reader)

warnings! yandere implications, mentions of kidnapping and being tied up (not sexually), fluff

(a/n) requested by an anon!! tysm for requesting ♡ reminder that requests are open!!

˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚

"Are you awake?" A gloved hand reached out and grasped you chin lifting it up to give the holder a closer look of your expression.

Slowly blinking open your eyes, you surveyed the room quietly, noting that there were chains on the wall, along with a bed, and there were no windows. Your wrists burned, too, from where they were tied up behind you on the chair you were sitting on. The only source of light in the dimly-lit room was the small, singular chandelier that hung on the ceiling, seeming oddly out of place considering how grim the entire scene looked.

Finally, you focused your gaze at the man in front of you, still holding your chin and giving you a close-eyed smile. "Where am I?"

The black-haired man in front of you didn't skip a beat, only taking his hand of your chin and instead gesturing to the area. "A special place I prepared just for you."

"Why am I here?"

The man laughed. "My, you're taking this awfully calmly. You're here because I brought you here, of course."

well no shit. even i could make out that much.

"Who are you?" You questioned, although almost immediately regretted it after seeing the man's expression darken.

"Hahah... of course." Laughing, he stood up, from which he had originally been bending down to match your height. "You never even noticed me."

Thoughts ran through your head as you tried to put his face to names, but none matched until something lit up in your brain. "Pantalone?"

"Yes, that is my name." Pantalone sighed sorrowfully, his gaze never leaving your face. "But to you, I was just the kind man who you helped give directions to."

"How- Why-"

"Because I love you, my angel. More than you will ever realize."

You stayed silent at the sudden confession, although considering that you were the one that was restrained in some unknown place, it would be unwise of you to decline. Archons know what he would do to you.

"I've been watching you for weeks. Not through my underlings... I can't trust them. You're too lovely, they'd fall in love with you too, and then I'd have another problem to deal with. No... I watched you out of my own love, saving you from whatever trouble you had encountered behind the scenes and always making sure that you would be okay." Pantalone didn't seem to care whether you were listening or not, but rambled on anyway, his voice only becoming more and more desperate.

"But then some guy came to your house and saw me, and then began asking for you. Who does he think he is, asking to see you so casually??" The man's voice broke off into a low growl as his expression contorted into one of rage. "So I took care of him."

"You... killed him??"

"Darling, come on now, don't be mad at me. It was for your own good. After that, I knew it was much too dangerous to be living alone in a world of predators, so I generously took you in. This is where you'll be staying from now on. With me until the end of time."

"..."

"You answer? You can't refuse, but I'd still like another opportunity to hear your beautiful voice again."

"...Actually... I'm fine with it." You had come to the conclusion in the matter of seconds, but from what little knowledge you knew, you concluded that Pantalone had to have been powerful in status, careful with his plans, and also dangerous enough to have anyone look the other way to what he was doing. And considering the jeweled chandelier that dangled about five feet away from you, you also concluded that Pantalone was considerably wealthy. Not only that, but during his speech, you couldn't help but feel... moved. He had gone to such lengths just to make sure that you'd rest easy.

Not only that, he was also quite the looker himself. With that curly, soft black locks and fair face, every time you looked at him, you could feel your heart skip a beat. And if you really were to live here, then wouldn't that mean you wouldn't have to pay rent? And you'd get free meals everyday?

If he was shocked, he hid it well. Nevertheless, he wasn't able to stop the utterly confused expression flitting across his face. "You're... okay with it? I mean- that's good- but I expected at least a little resistance." He didn't seem disappointed per say, more just startled that you had actually agreed from what free will you had.

"Well... yeah. I mean... sure, you're a pretty dangerous person, but you do seem to actually care for me. Not only that, I wouldn't have to pay rent, get free food... not to mention that you're quite handsome yourself." Attempting to explain yourself, you winced as the tight ropes cut into your skin. Immediately, Pantalone rushed forward, uttering you quiet apologies as he cut the ropes off your hands with a knife that he had hidden in his sleeve.

He cleared his throat as you watched you settle into a more comfortable position, remorsefully noting the reddened bruises on your wrists. "I'm... handsome to you?"

As you nodded, he turned away, but you were able to spot his flushing ears that his hair was tucked behind.

"Aha... You really are too kind." The black-haired man smiled at you. "This is for the better. If you really are agreeing this steadily, then it means you won't try to run away. And if that doesn't happen, we can live together. Happily for the rest of our lives." And just like that, he swiftly leaned forward, holding your chin up with both hands as his soft lips met yours and engulfed you into a kiss. You felt your face burn warm, but you didn't resist, nor did you want to. Sensational fireworks seemed to light off from every inch of your skin, diving your consciousness in a sea of warmth. When Pantalone finished, he pulled away only slightly, giving you a smirk that played on his lips.

"You can expect more of that later."

masterlist ✩

[watermelons-dont-grow-on-trees]

Honeymoon

pt 1.

masterlist next

wanted to post at least one more thing while im still here on vacation, because it feels more authentic, but fear not, i have plenty more planned and outlined for vacation/summer stuff

this is fluff by my standards.... not sure it is by everyone's, meet Aly's love interest (sort of) <3

TW: dehumanisation, pet whump, implied abuse, long term captivity

"I mean, I won't stop you from staying inside, but remember this is our wedding night. Are you sure you want to stay for everything that entails?"

"No, definitely not" Aly shook her head, disgusted by the idea of having to stay and to watch them fuck from her appointed flimsy mattress in the corner of the room, the hotel employees generously called a dog bed "But where am I supposed to stay?" It's not like she could ask for a room for herself.

"Stay by the door like a good puppy, and you can sleep in the morning" Luke grinned and pat her face affectionately. He then grabbed Cole by the hand and pulled him inside the room already turning around to meet his now husband's lips. He winked at Alyssa, before he accepted the invite and slammed the door behind them.

Alyssa sighed, her frustration was written all over her face, but even if it wasn't, the tightly clenched fists by her sides and tense shoulders would have given her away.

"The fuck did you bring me on your honeymoon for then?" she muttered and looked around the corridor for a place to sit, and of course there was none. The dark burgundy carpet seemed comfortable enough to sit on, but she didn't like the thought of accidentally getting in the way of some other rich assholes, who have no regard for her as a person. Not like Luke and Cole do, but having spent so much time together, they'd grown used to each other, at times even Alyssa felt comfortable in their company. When they weren't torturing her at least.

Fuck it. There were five more honeymoon suites opening from this hallway, and she wasn't sure any of the occupants would leave for the night, to stumble across her sitting by the door.

The sun still hadn't set completely, she could see the bright oranges and pinks of the sky from where she'd sat, through the window that replaced the wall at the end of the corridor from floor to ceiling. How long has it been since she had seen the sun set?

In the old house, in the basement the little window faced north, she barely ever caught glimpses of light through it, the trees behind the house kept it in the shadows any way. She shuddered at the memory of that place. It was covered in the blood of so many people, she never wanted to know how many trial-and-error processed the guys went through before her.

The new house, however, was beautiful and comfortable. She even had her own room, where she could stay for the most part. A wave of anxiety still twisted itself in her gut, when she realised how grateful she was for it. For being allowed a room. And now being allowed to stay outside the door to a luxurious suite and not have to witness whatever happens inside.

A door opened across the hall from her and a tall, lanky man stumbled outside before it slammed behind him.

He straightened up quickly and reached up to fix his hair that had looked like a messy black bird's nest. She froze, and tried to make herself disappear into the wall behind her, until she saw the collar around his neck.

She took a deep breath. He was most likely much safer to be around than anyone else, who could have left any of the rooms.

He took a lazy seat, crossing his legs and leaning into the wall, before he noticed her. He froze for a brief moment, just like she did, but his lips pulled into a wry smile when he noticed her collar.

"Honeymoon?" he asked, he looked tired, but there was a hint of knowing smile on his face. She nodded with a timid smile.

"First?"

"Yeah" Alyssa answered, confused for a moment, before he continued.

"This is her third" he sighed and let out a humourless chuckle "Is yours gonna last?" he nodded towards the door she sat next to.

"I think so" she shrugged, she'd never really thought about it before. The one thing that seemed healthy, normal even, therefore bringing a sense of normalcy to her life was Luke and Cole together.

"Do you think it's the one for- them?" Aly threw the question back. Gesturing towards the door he came through. He laughed for real this time.

"This is the third time, she'll book the room for the next one before we leave" he rolled his eyes. The contempt in his voice was feigned, and Alyssa noticed it slip away from his face as he glaced towards the room, to be momentarily replaced with longing.

"What's, uhm, what's your name?"

"Beau" he replied, this time with a flick of real anger in his eyes "How about your?"

"They call me Aly, but it's Alyssa"

"Nice to meet you then, Alyssa"

"Nice to meet you, Beau" he cringed, and her breath hitched, worried she said something she wasn't supposed to, she just stared at him, eyes widened with worry. "'m sorry"

"It's fine, I just haven't- haven't really got used to it yet" he sighed.

"Do you want me to call you something else? I promise I won't tell" Alyssa scrambled trying to correct her earlier mistake.

"No" Beau shook his head "I have to get used to it. It will hurt more if I don't"

"I'm sorry" he shrugged dismissing her apology.

They say in silence until the sun had completely set and the dimmed night lights turned on along the wall near the ceiling. It was significantly harder for Alyssa to make out the other's expressions. He sat with his eyes closed resting against the wall.

She struggled to do the same, finding no comfortable positions to stay in.

"Hey, uhm, can you sleep?" she whispered, loud enough that he would hear it, if he was awake, but quiet enough that if he wasn't, she wouldn't disturbed him.

"Not allowed" he groaned "I'm just resting my eyes for a while."

"Okay, I don't want to bother you."

"You're not, ask away, anything that makes the time pass faster" He didn't move from his spot.

"Why do you think this isn't the last honeymoon for your- for, uhm, her? Don't they say third time's a charm?" she fidgeted nervously with the hem on her shirt. She wanted to look up, maybe smile, just make lighthearted conversation she craved so much. She needed someone who would understand, and pretend everything is okay as it is.

"They do say that" he agreed "But the señora doesn't like spending time alone, and that poor old bastard won't last her more than a few months, if that" She imagined an old lady, standing by the side of an old man at their wedding. Beau would sit by her side.

"And she would get married again?"

"She would, she will..." he replied, and even in the terrible dim lighting Alyssa saw his face scrunch up with disgust. Under guise of all his judgement and harsh words, he seemed to feel hurt by this more than he let on.

"And, why- uhm, how did... you end up with her?" The question twisted awkwardly in her head. She wasn't used to talking to anyone, but Luke and Cole. Especially not to someone, who she guessed was in a similar situation to hers.

"Pretty standard way, I guess, I was grabbed by some 'recruiters' and was auctioned off" Beau rolled his eyes sarcastically. 'Recruiters' were glorified professional human traffickers, for those in the market for untrained pets, not some fancy-ass perfectly behaved and expensive WRU products.

"How long-?"

"Four years, coming up this month" he sighed "How about you?"

"I'm not supposed to talk about it" Alyssa muttered.

"Oh, come on, they won't hear you out here, it's just us, I won't tell" he nudged, intrigued.

"I- No, I can't, I'm sorry, I-" she struggled. Luke's efforts of training her to be unable to talk about anything concerning her life before, came to fruition. She remembered clear as day the night she was "brought home." Even in her own head, she could only call it that. Not kidnapped, threatened with a gun and mugged all at the same time. Brought home, she was brought home.

"Not allowed to say" she managed finally "It's been like two years, it's hard to say"

"Whoa, whatever they did to you worked out well, if you can't even say it out of earshot" Beau seemed genuinely surprised. She was deeply hurt, by it. Thankfully he noticed "Sorry, I didn't mean it like that."

Alyssa just shrugged. "So, what is she like?"

"You're not asking about her favourite colours I assume, well, she's nice, when she wants to be, she loves me more than her husbands, I think... She says I was her best investment ever"

"Does she hurt you, too?" Alyssa asked quietly. He tilted his head to the side and thought before he answered.

"She does, it used to be worse, when I was still learning" he sighed "but what can you do, she's a great owner, I can't complain" he added, bitter with resignation. Alyssa hummed in acknowledgement, stuck on how she could possibly respond to that. It was eerie hearing the words so casually falling from his mouth. Similar to her own thoughts ever since this was her reality, and still she was taken aback by it.

"How about yours?" Beau threw the question back. Yeah, how about hers? What could she possibly tell him about Luke and Cole? Surely he'd understand whatever went on.

"Luke is... sometimes he takes better care of me than I of myself, but he's usually the reason, I need it. He's very confusing" she admitted, and knew immediately that there was something wrong with that statement. A trouble for later, she decided. "Cole, his husband, scares the shit out of me, if I'm honest. He's simply cruel for the sake of it" That was something she'd say to his face. And Cole would just laugh, then hurt her for it, and not deny it for a second. Beau nodded.

"Do you know how long you'll stay?"

"I think two more weeks. Will I see you around?"

"Probably"

[fischltao]

Pillowtalk

characters: shouta aizawa x fem!reader

warnings: fluff, reader gets a bit jealous/possessive, mentions of sex, spoilers for bnha season 1-2, teacher!pro-hero!reader, cigarettes after sex songs

notes: this is a small drabble i wrote now that i've finished my exams and work for the day, enjoy♡

the soft breeze caressed his skin as he watched the cityscapes from his slightly opened window sill. besides him laid a soft figure, illuminated by the moon glow that seeped through the curtains. he sighed looking back at her sleeping soundly as a light smile graced her features-probably an indication of her having a good dream.

aizawa wouldn't have it any other way. moments between the pair were rare, especially after the new school year had started, bringing more and more stress to the pair of pro-heroes. sure they'd both see each other in the class they were co-teaching every day but since their relationship was private and pda in front students was off limits they couldn't help but crave those quiet moments when it's just them two, alone.

"baby? did something happen? why are you awake?"

"just couldn't sleep" he whispered back, laying down and pullying her on his chest, mindlessly tracing figures on the exposed skin of her arm "why did you wake up?"

"didn't feel you next to me" her voice was raspy indicating the deep sleep she was in a couple of moments ago and hinting at their actions of love earlier in the evening. he smiled at the thought and kissed her forehead before nuzzling into it "i'm so glad we're okay. the children too. when i saw izuku-kun with both his arms broken and found out that bakugo-kun had been abducted i just felt so...useless. i am a pro-hero supposed to teach kids to become even better heroes than us but i couldn't even protect them. we couldn't even save bakugo by ourselves, the kids had too, made me consider giving up, y'know?"

"not our fault. you were helping so much, if it wasn't for you those kids in the forest would die, you even captured one of the league of villains and-"

"and that wasn't enough shouta. having to face their parents made it even worse, we failed them" in all honesty she was right, the hero system was fucked up and she never hesitated to talk about it openly, no matter how much trouble it would get her into. she was just stubborn like that "but i also can't seem to trust anyone else to take care of them but us. so thats why im not giving up. they rely on us and they're such good kids. if they got another teacher, they wouldn't know them like we do. i also might have a soft spot for them...do you think so too?"

"you know, i really can't think of anyone else who could take better care of bakugo than you. back in our ua days, you were just like him when you got angry" he spoke as she hit his chest lightly with a sleepy smirk on her face "do you remember when you got angry after mrs joke asked you if she could have me? we weren't even dating then. midnight says that you were losing your mind since you didn't know if you were more mad at her for 'stealing me away' or at the fact that you didn't know how to word that she couldn't have me without admitting your crush. you were fuming"

"it was so embarrassing, im so glad i don't act like that anymore...poor emi" she sighed looking back up at her boyfriend "sho?"

"hm?"

"i can't stand the thought of you with anyone else, okay? never did" she spoke as she moved in a sitting position before pulling herself on aizawa's lap "i-i dont want anyone to have you other than me" she exclaimed looking straight into her lover's eyes while pinning him on the bed.

"i know baby, i know" he whispered their lips met halfway in a searing hot kiss "i would never leave you for nothing on earth" another hot kiss "never"

"sorry i got carried away" she shy'ed away as he looked at her amused. it was something about those moments with her that made him absolutely weak "i know you wouldn't do this to me, i trust you, shouta" and with that she was back with laying onto him while he caressed her back.

"i wish we could stay like this forever" he begun as he stared up to the ceiling "you know just staying here in bed together as your spotify keeps playing cigarettes after sex's songs and we just talk about nothing"

she hummed getting lost in the way his voice tickles her ears and eases her mind. "and when you go away i still see you"

"i didn't know you knew the lyrics sho"

"its a beautiful song, it reminds me of you" after that the couple had stopped talking to listen to the rest of the track. it truly was beautiful. in her mind it aizawa looked like how every single cas song would sound. He gave her warmth, comfort, love and lust. only he knew her body and her the depths of her soul like that.

only him.

only him

aizawa shouta.

"shouta-kun?"

"yes?"

"make love to me"

[saksukei]

akaashi keiji guardian angel au

others: ushijima | masterlist | pardon me, this is really long

akaashi had been a guardian angel for as long as he could remember,, looking over people and helping them in his own way,,, and when one died, he was sent to look after another

he never let himself get emotionally attached to the person he was guarding, (unlike some people aka bokuto) because he knew he was going to outlive them,,, and it wasn't worth the pain anyway

but oh boy,,, when he was assigned to you,,, akaashi favored you like no other,, he'd smile to himself as he watched you dance in the mornings,,, watch your favorite movies over and over again,,

heck he'd want to wipe your tears when you were upset,, but he couldn't expose himself,, not unless you were in sufficient danger,, it was a rule,,,

and so it was just another regular day,, he was watching over you,, you were about to cross the street,, except, you were very distracted and another car was coming your way at full speed

akaashi was like ᕦ[ ◑ □ ◑ ]ᕤ

two hands pulled you back,,, as the car zoomed past you,, your heart was beating out it's chest,,,,

and then your eyes landed on the charming stranger that saved your life,,,,

black hair,,, grey eyes,, a muscular figure,,, this almost seems like a movie,, almost

“oh my god– thank you!” you exclaimed,, clutching your heart,,

“you're welcome,” the stranger replied,,,

“please tell me how I can repay the favor,” you say.

“there's no need–”

“PLEASE LET ME REPAY THE FAVOR”

akaashi was like (⊙_◎)

“uh coffee then?”

“there’s a cute little coffeeshop nearby, let's go there,” you told him.

so you ended up dragging him to the coffee shop and started talking to fill in the silence,,,

and all akaashi could think was how beautiful you were,,,, even more so in person,,, and now he's cursing the gods,, because all he wants is to have you in his arms,,, is this what they meant when they said that there would be a test of his faith?

“akaashi– are you okay?” you ask,, worryingly,, “you’ve been staring at me for the past ten minutes without saying a single word.”

“my apologies,” he replied. “i’ve uh- just been having a headache.”

akaashi’s inner voice is like ‘yEAH HEADACHE BECAUSE I LIKE YOU BUT IM YOUR GUARDIAN ANGEL AND THATS ALL ILL EVER BE’

“oh god– and here I am, rambling on like an idiot!” you pinched the bridge of your nose. “i’m so sorry.”

“please don’t apologize,” akaashi replied. “its not you, I just have a lot on my schedule.”

“you can leave,” you say. “please don’t feel obliged to sit with me.”

“actually– why don't we do this another time?” he suggested. “whenever you're free?”

one meeting turned into four

it was like every time akaashi wanted to desperately leave and not talk to you again, you gave him a reason to stay,, be it your thousand watt smile, the way your eyes crinkled when you laughed, the way you said his name,, the list could go on,,

he knew that if the other angels found out,, they'd banish him,, he wouldn't be an angel anymore,, and he wouldn't be a human either,, he'd be part of the ‘fallen’ as they say,,, they would also erase his memories,, all of them, every single one,,

but hey,, HE was the one in love right? It was one sided and they wouldn't punish him for that,,,

but when he heard you say the words, “keiji, I like you and I know you don't see me the same way–”

akaashi zoned out

you had fallen for him too,,

akaashi just looked up to the skies thinking,, ‘is it such a sin to fall in love?’

and then he looked at you,, who was apologizing for your feelings,, even though you shouldn't,,

he took a step towards you,, “may I kiss you–?” he interrupted,, and you nodded,,

and his lips collided with yours,, and akaashi had been in heaven,, but oh god,, your lips made it seem like rubble,, if this was his sin, so be it,,, he'd rather be called the devil,, than to go without kissing you for another day,,

much to his dismay,,, his happiness wouldn't last much longer,,

they came,, right at his doorstep,, when you were in his arms,, they entered your flat,,,

“akaashi keiji–” the angels circled him,, one of them grabbing him by the neck,, “you are said to be banished by the law of angels and your memory to be erased–”

and akaashi saw the look on your face,, shock,, anger,, worry,, he had told you months ago that this would happen,,

you were ready to run towards him,, but an angel was holding you back as well,,

“unless, you denounce your old ways, lose your title as a guardian angel, and lose your memories of this human and all encounters with them?”

and akaashi could feel anger coursing through his veins,, there is no way he would ever say yes to that,,,,, he loved you too much to forget about you,,

“you know the humans have a phrase for a situation like this– it's called, ‘fuck you!’” akaashi growled,,, as he broke out of their grasp,,

his hand grabbed you by your shirt,,, pulling you with him,, unleashing his beautiful white wings,, as he flew through the apartment window,,

after several minutes of flying,, akaashi set you down in a safe place,,

“i’m sorry,” the first words that ever came out of his mouth. “i'm sorry I dragged you into all of this– I should have been more careful but–”

“keiji, darling, don't ever apologize for this–” you put your forehead to his,, noses barely touching,, “if anything it made me love you even more–”

“are you sure you aren't the angel here?” akaashi asked,, and you let out a laugh,,

all akaashi could think was how he'd love to listen to this laughter for all eternity,, to the edge of madness,,, perhaps he wasn't your guardian angel,, you were his,,

[itsakpopalypse]

ORAGAMI HEART

Im Jaebeom x Reader

1.6K words

Warnings : None? unless pretentious, wordy inner monologs aren't your thing. Cause it's definitely that. Over use of metaphors, and a STRONG aversion to making any kind of sense at all.

Jaebeom's heart, he thought, was like a folded paper crane. The kind you left on your windowsill growing up that he could see from his own across the yard. You used to tell him each fold held a wish of yours that you whispered beneath the stars. You had loads of origami friends, each lined neatly in your room, an army of your hopes and dreams, he had no doubt they'd all come true.

Currently, the folds inside him, full to bursting with wishes and hopes, made him want to hide away or sing ? He couldn't tell but he knew he wasn't ready to tell you.  Not yet, anyway. 

Surely, on your trip you'd come back with priorities very far from his own, taking you to some adventure that wasn't quite so simple. No, because you were never really simple. 

You were spicy cups of cider on the roof outside your room, with matching fuzzy socks and a big shared blanket and "shhhhhh they'll wake up if you keep laughing Jae!"   

You were the feeling of adrenaline right before the drop on a roller coaster, that weightless fearful stomach in your throat  feeling that made your heart feel as high as the sun itself.

You were passion and jumping in puddles well into your twenties and arriving in the house soaked to the bone with a satisfied smile. 

You were moonlit nights and the smell of vanilla and anise. You were home to him,  but you were never home with him, and he feared  his heart would weigh you down. 

So he folded up his feelings, like your paper cranes, and let a wish get whispered into each crease. 

****

Jaebeom was like the very stars, to you,  glittery and out of reach and so, so much more beautiful than they know. 

Coming home meant coming to his side, and that was scarier than any bungie jump you'd ever done. Sure, you were full of spontaneous excitement, but he was the stillness your heart needed to find peace. He was steady and strong, like the undercurrent in an ocean. 

Dangerous, like that too. Because it took barely you dipping your toe in to feel the rush that overwhelmed you, 

 dragging your heart into the depth of his eyes.  

Truthfully, you did half your traveling to avoid the fear you had when you saw him last. Over a year ago in person, when you'd both drank a few bottles of rosé because he isn't tough like he wanted people to think  and you'd asked him what he wanted from life.

Then he'd said "Family. Someday."  He'd said so wistful, so full of certainty that your gut had twisted in pain. He said it like he knew exactly who that would be, like his future was laid out in clearly defined path he knew, but had yet to follow. 

It made you afraid to ask him who, it made you more afraid to guess. You didn't want to know, because you had feared  it wouldn't be you. 

But now, you couldn't avoid him. It was your sister's wedding, and your families were close. He'd be there, as always. It scared you just a bit, to imagine just how handsome he'd be now in person. You kept in touch enough to facetime occasionally, talked nearly daily. You'd seen his hair, pulled back in ponytail, little strands broke free. Part of you wanted to run your fingers through it loosely hanging about his handsome face. 

The various new piercings he had suited him perfectly,  and his once slouchy style had become more refined. Perfectly low maintaince and yet costly for you. 

The price you'd paid for being his closest friend was your heart, and he'd clearly lost the receipt.

He crossed the dance floor towards you,  one hand out as though asking you to jump. 

You were so tired of making excuses for your red cheeks, wondering how he hadn't figured you out long ago.

You were all pictures in black and white, when he was near your world exploded into a kaleidoscope of color, dizzying and free. 

He was the band aids he kept in his back pocket when your riskier stunts failed.  He was the click of tongue against teeth in disapproval when you said something a little too sassy back. 

He was worried brows and dark stormy eyes and protection from failure.  He was the rocks tip tapping against your window on a summer eve, when your tank top clung to your damp skin after  a shower. 

He was secret smiles and shared songs and night drives that let you scream until your voice was raw.

He was fingertips electrifying your skin when he held your hand to pull you back from the edge of misery. 

He was safety and solace and comfort like huge down comforters weighted with nothing but your best interests at heart. He was firey warmth and understanding in bright shining eyes.

He was mischievous and perfect… and you were scared.

As you slid your hand into his and let him lead you close close closer until your bodies were pressed  tight. More an embrace than proper form, and your head felt too heavy with  worry to be held up on your own, letting it fall, resting on his front, tucking into him for the reassuring you needed,  that even after running free he was still waiting for you.

Not as a lover does, but as a part of your life you couldn't be without. 

As you felt one hand too hot against your lower back, the swaying lulled your eyes closed to enjoy the moment,  afraid to pop the bubble of intimate silence. 

"You cut your hair."  He commented,  the rumble beneath his suit deep and low.

"Yours grew."  You replied simply.

He hummed, thoughtful as always.

The hand on your low back was too hot, grasping gently, thumb rubbing  over your spine. You couldn't suppress a chill, instead your breath wooshed out of your lungs.

"Jaebeom!"  your aunt called from nearby, dragging you both from your own planetary spiral.

He lifted his head and eyebrow, smiling gently as he always did. 

"Yes Auntie?"  He asked, moving you towards her, giving your hand a reassuring squeeze as you broke apart from blissful reunion. 

Your aunt was beaming. "I see you've found our wandering child!  Haven't you missed her?"  

Your eyes widened. "Auntie!" 

Jaebeom's ever patient chuckle hit your ears and  calmed you,  the sound so familiar and necessary in your life. 

You felt like you could breathe again.

"She had to do it, or she'd never know she could. Can't tie her down- Y/n deserves to follow her dreams. Missing her is preferable to her missing out on herself."

God, sometimes when he said such things you could imagine a future he wanted but with you. It tightened your chest, because you'd tried to escape this,  leaving distance should have brought clarity but instead within moments your choking on emotion.

They began to chat about his work, and you excused yourself, bodice of your dress too tight,  chest full of desert air too hot and dusty to allow you thought. 

You hovered near the drink table, desperately clinging to a wine stem, drinking several in one go. 

It wouldn't be long until you could forget,  you think,  too overwhelmed with it all.

By the time your body is buzzing from drink, just tipsy enough to brave the crowd again, Jaebeom is already there,  eyebrow lifted as he considered the 4 glasses to your left.

"Don't judge me. Weddings are scary." 

He didn't speak, just took your hand and led you away. 

The night air was fresh and brought you some sense of calm. You spun gently in a circle, your skirt flying out in a circle, enjoying the air and the silence and the humming of life in your veins.

"You were gone a long time. " 

You nodded,  opening your eyes to regard his handsome face. 

"Facetime isn't enough. I like it when you're tangible."  His hands steadied your elbows when you stopped spinning, letting your dizziness fade protected.

Except it didn't fade. Instead the dizziness got more intense,  the world outside yourself and Jaebeom spinning, the stars becoming a blur of white streaks and chaos reigned in your mind.

The roller coaster you loved so felt like child's play in adrenaline highs in comparison to staring into his eyes. Something in them undiscovered made you shudder in excitement, and you made either the biggest mistake or your first right decision, grabbing his lapels and bursting forward, he caught you and registered the shock for just one moment. You had a split second before you lost nerve, you only needed a hint.  

He glanced at your lips, wetting his own and maybe, just maybe  recognition in his hungry gaze. 

He read your mind and you let it go.

"I'm going to." Your voice was quiet, timid in ways you never were. 

"Do."  And that one word sealed your fates as you sealed your lips against his.

Sometimes  a moment feels like eternity in a bubble, trapped under glass for the infinite beings in the universe to ponder.

This moment felt like infinity and insignificance.  The first of uncountable kisses, the last time you could call him just friend. 

Because he responded.  He responded with the vigor of a man who knew only the breath inside your mouth as though he were useless without your touch  as though he felt the weight of your entire future flashing into his  minds eye. 

No moments spared for what ifs, when your foreheads rested against each other his folded origami heart suddenly beat inside your chest too, plenty  payment for the way you'd given yours to him. 

[spookysanta]

daddy’s girl. (e.d.)

Summary: he's been watching her and she knows it. He's yearning for her, and he’ll have her, but she has to finish high school first. 

Pairing: Ethan Dolan xReader

WARNINGS: age gap (38 vs 18), creep shit

SAY NOTHING IM WRITING A NEW SERIES JUST READ IT AND TELL ME IF IT SUCKS 

DISCLAIMER! PLEASE READ: in this, the girl (cairo) is of LEGAL age. he (ethan) refers to her as a child bc yanno.... he's almost 40 here. this isn't on any pedophile stuff, okay? just for clarification. AND as i was writing this i got jake gyllenhaal vibes from this, but then i figured ethan could be the “sexy dad” in the future (so to speak)—which is what i was kinda going for; like a man that’s older but is so irresistibly gorgeous, even young girls swoon over him.

UNEDITED

****

******

She'd caught his eye. 

And he doesn't know how it came to be this way; he thought he was done messing around like this ages ago. But here he was, a thirty-eight-year-old man, watching an eighteen-year-old girl cheer at his neice's high school's football game. 

She sees him though; as if he's staring into her soul. As she finishes her tumbling routine in the halftime show, her eyes dart in his direction and his never leave her. She shivers slightly--

Who is that man? she wondered, walking away from the field to distract herself. 

**

She stands at the cash register, swiping his items across the scanner. "Did you find everything okay?" she asked in a monotone voice, looking at the clock on the register's screen. 

"Yes, I did. Thank you." the man responded, fishing in his wallet for cash as he already knew how much two bottles of red wine cost. "Do you need to see ID?"

"Yes, I--" she paused, looking at the man for the first time during their interaction. This was the man from the football game! She couldn't have forgotten those pearly eyes that bore into hers, and definitely didn't forget the way he ironically made her feel when their eyes locked. "I-I do."

"You okay?" he asked with a chuckle as he handed her his driver's license. He knew exactly who she was, and after a bit of research, he knows that she's what he wants. And, likewise, he knew that she remembered him. That in itself was exciting because now he knew where she was from 9-2 every Saturday--which meant he'd be seeing her a lot more. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

She glanced at the line forming behind him and shook her head at the idea of her confrontation. She took the card and read the birthdate carefully. "1980." she muttered, handing it back to him. "Your total's $18.20."

He handed her a $20, grabbing the bottles of wine by their necks and smirking. "Keep the change."

"Thank you." 

"You're welcome, Cairo. See you around."

**

She lay in her bed, wondering why this man clouded her thoughts. What was it about him that made him so intriguing? Yes, he was attractive, but he was more than twice her age--shouldn't that mean that he was repulsive to her? Should she shy away from this man and his beauty?

Ethan.

If there's anything she knew about men, it's that older men (well, boys, in her case) don't usually have the girl's best interest in mind. But no matter how many cons appear on this list, the only pro she seems to think of is the fact that he looked at her like he knew her already. His hazel eyes were almost magnetizing her brown ones to his gaze, and the energy was too strong to pull it away.

**

He's come to the realization that he's hooked on her.

He wants her, no--needs her. 

And he knows how crazy that sounds with all of the odds stacked against him (namely, her being a child by his comparison) but he'll admit they'd look absolutely perfect together. 

And there's nothing he won't do until they're in love.

**

day one.

She walked home from school every day. Three-fifteen on the dot, Monday through Friday. Sometimes, she takes the after-school bus after her cheer practices, and that drops her off on the same corner but at five-thirty. He sees her walk down Linden Avenue, then make a left on Conch Street, and then go into the tiny brick house at the end of the lively culdesac. Sometimes he sees her through her window at night, laying in her bed soundly. It takes everything in him each night to not climb up the big pine tree to the second floor, open the already unlocked window—she doesn't lock it anymore because the lock can get finicky at times and it can get quite hot in San Bernadino in May—and breathe in the same air as her.

Just once.

Just once, he wants to be there for her—hold her, kiss her, smell her, taste her.

Is that too much to ask?

Just one more month, he reminds himself as he perches himself on his porch chair, watching her walk into her home with her friend, Janelle.

He does not like Janelle.

Janelle has a tendency to be a bit manipulative when it comes to Cairo; she wants the best for her, of course. But she's always making Cairo go to parties that she doesn't want to go to, or do things that Cairo doesn't typically do.

Cairo's a good girl who doesn't need to be bombarded with social...ick.

"She's a good girl," he mumbled, palms set on his knees with white fingertips. "My good girl."

***

She continued her walk to the store like she usually does on Sunday mornings in the spring. Yes, she does work at the store, but why not stop by and visit her favorite co-workers while she picked up her favorite ice cream?

"Good morning, Edith!" she greeted to the elderly woman stood behind the customer service desk. She resembled Jane Goodall in a way; caring, generous, kind. "How are you today?"

"Hey, sweetie! I'm alright, hope you're doing well. Say 'hi' to Katherine for me!" she replied with a wave, going into the employee's lounge.

"Will do!" she wandered to the frozen food section, her coffee brown eyes set on the cookie dough ice cream in the freezer. With happy alarms blaring in her head, she grabbed a pint from the shelf, going immediately to the checkout line to pay for her dessert. "Hey Ricky." she said to the cashier.

"Hey, Cai." he responded, ringing up her ice cream and setting it on the counter. "$4.68. Got your employee ID on you?"

She fished through her wallet and came up emptyhanded. "Shoot. I must've left it at home." she sighed. "It's cool, I'll pay full price."

"Nah, I got you." he took a card out of his front pocket, swiped it, and put in his pin. "There ya go. $2.27."

"Thanks, Ky. I owe you one." She handed him a five dollar bill, keeping the cash fold of her wallet open so she could put her change in it.

"You know what you could do for me so we're even?" he opened the cash drawer, taking out her change and handing it to her.

"What?"

"Go to dinner with me." he wrote on her freshly printed receipt. "It doesn't have to be fancy, but if you're interested, you should hit me up sometime."

"Sure. I'd love to." she smiled, putting the receipt with her change and grabbing her ice cream off the counter. "We'll talk tonight?"

"Totally. See you around."

"See you!"

**

She entered the house again and put her ice cream in the fridge. "Ma!" she yelled into her mother's office as she passed it. "Ms. Edith at Ben's said 'hi'!"

"Aw, how sweet of her to think of me!" she said with a smile. "I'll have to send you by her house with a plate of cookies this week."

She groaned inwardly. Edith's a nice woman, but Cairo's mother, Katherine, does not conjure up her life-changing cookies on any given day. Which means that she would make a small batch—just enough for Edith and her husband, Clarke—and then, poof! No-one's going to see those cookies until Christmastime. Bounding up the staircase and into her bedroom, practically leaping onto her bed with a sigh.

Meanwhile, he was watching her still. He didn't even think to consider the idea of someone catching him stare at this girl, sat in the rocking chair on his front porch, watching her intently through a pair of zooming binoculars while she boredly scrolled through her phone. Quite frankly, he wouldn't care at all. If someone were to walk by and ask him what he was doing, he'd merely say: "Protecting my girl."

He doesn't give a damn if she took a glance out her window and saw a man—that man—staring back at her. Knowing her, which obviously he does, she'd probably scream for her mom and tell her mom to come and look because "there's a strange man" looking at her through her window. And then her mom would come and look but by then he'd be back in his home across the way from hers, in his bedroom, watching her panic through the telescope he'd set up.

That'd be a gift to himself, really. Because he knows deep within that she thinks about him. Even though maybe the thoughts are of worry or panic and not ones of admiration, all he cares about is the fact that he's invaded her thoughts just like she's invaded his.

[alteregowo]

Hi! I love Dan and Phil, individually and together, but I think they're not trying to hide a romantic relationship. Don't you think that after ten years, they'd finally come out if they were? I mean there are a lot of gay couples on youtube and it would not be that big of a deal today than it was in 2007. Just wanted to hear your opinion on that. Have a nice day!

before i answer, disclaimer: i have ADD and this post might get messy since i find it difficult to concentrate and phrase myself properly (and english isn’t even my main language!)

well, i’m not gonna try and force my own views down your throat or anything but let me ramble a bit about why i wholeheartedly believe dan and phil are in a relationship;

i think i’ll start with the very fact that they recently moved to their third shared home together. say whatever you want to say but if they were indeed just friends, considering they’re in their mid 20s and 30 dont you think they’d want to move out separately and get going with their lives? and dont you think they wouldn’t be so keen on making comments about keeping living together in the long run (or forever….  a forever home say whaaaat). 

now, you might argue with the good ol’ “but they benefit from living together regardless of relationship status”. fair enough. however, let me point out that it has became as clear as day especially in 2017 that they share a bedroom. i don’t know about you but i don’t think two strictly platonic friends who just moved into a duplex would want/ need to share a bedroom unless they’re uhhh mayhaps in a relationship and love to cuddle? i know a wild concept…….

and i’m sorry but if you want to argue against the shared bedroom fact with the shoebox phil claims is “his room” i have nothing to say but shake my head. no way phil actually lives in that room that has no windows and no space to move around and why is the entire room crammed in this one corner… where is the rest of the room……. and why is that room has no personal touch to it…. it’s literally just AmazingPhil props and things……… feels much more like a set to me than an actual bedroom. (also we saw phil’s mirror and hair straighter in the moon room aka “”dan’s bedroom”” which i think we can all collectively agree is simply “the bedroom”)

another thing that strikes me is how dan joins phil’s family vacations (especially in 2017) and how he seems to become part of the family much more than anyone who’s classified as “platonic” to phil would have. dan is just as much of a lester as cornelia is? dan joins the lesters just as much and as frequent as a spouse would. in fact, dan joins the lesters so much on their adventures that if im not wrong, the longest dan and phil spent apart in 2017 was not more than a weekend? that’s whack!

now these were just three things that were very prominent in 2017 regarding the belief whether dan and phil are in a relationship or not that were “behind the scenes”as in going on in their personal lives, kind of? i mean sure we see the  shoebox on AmazingPhil and the moon room in some liveshows and we get pictures from their shared vacations but now i will move on to what we see on screen across their channels

i’ll start this with a throwback to the boncas bc i think that damn speech is enough to debunk any “uwu platonic” argument, ever. i don’t think phil would have done THAT if dan didn’t mean a whole lot to him and i think saying the universe would rip in half in they go apart is a concrete proof that they themselves can;t and don’t want to imagine a life in which they are not joint at the hip. 

moving on to gamingmas, which i will forever find so significant?? they broke a lot of boundaries during that month regarding of invading personal space, a bit of a more mature humor (esp on phil’s account), casual touching and a whole lot of flirting and a lot less (almost none at all) looks straight into the camera to show they are aware this is filmed or to do a “wtf is this lol” kinda thing. gamingmas was a turning point. i will forever firmly believe they did all of that in an attempt to normalize this kind of behavior on screen (and it definitely worked!)

dan and phil continued the vibes of gamingmas well into 2017 and the casual touches, lingering gazes and flirting (as well as expressing affection towards males in specific) is now the normal running theme over at dapg to a degree where we don;t even lose our shit anymore. we joke and meme but nothing strikes us as overwhelming bc we are “used” to it, which i think dan and phil aimed for i genuinely think they wanted to get to this stage of showing more comfort and more intimacy on screen without everyone and their mothers going whack over “pHaN iS rEaL!!!!!1″ and for it all to come across as oh so casual and chill! 

so now you ask, “they go through all that why not just come out lol”

WELL, in my honest opinion, dan and phil will never officially come out as a couple. and you know what, maybe things would have been different if The Video didn’t leak and get spread around (twice, mind you.) but things happen and one thing lead to another and after all they have been through and how they were shaped as people and their experiences with guarding and protecting themselves and their privacy any sort of statement about whether or not they are a couple or just friends or even paid actors  (let alone labeling themselves and their sexuality bluntly) is highly unrealistic. so if you are waiting for a coming out video or whatever to convince you that won’t ever happen i’m afraid. 

dan and phil value their privacy and they have every right to do so.

so yes, maybe in the early days of 2009/10 they were very flirty all across social media and on camera and maybe just maybe you need to consider the few following things regarding why they stopped with that:

The Video leak. like honestly? can’t and won’t find any more justified reason to feel the need for privacy and shielding yourself and making comments on how ‘het’ you are  for instance just to brush off the most intimate thing imaginable that since has been glorified and memorized by millions(?) of people who were never meant to even know this video and that declaration of affection even exists. is it scary. and i fully understand the “no homo howell” phase and how awkward they appeared together on camera for awhile, very very proud of how far they;ve came esp in 2017 though. 

the radio show! is it a little tied to The Video leak since the second leak happened when the radio show was still fairly new but before they moved to london (into their second shared home coughs) they weren’t all that big, you know? but with the popularity of the radio show came the increasing popularity of their youtube channels and their followers/ subscribers count went up and up and their content became exposed to a much larger range of audience and these new audience/ fans were not familiar with the past (at least not at first glance) and dan and phil needed to leave “good” impression (not that being flirty and dumb wasn’t good impression but it wasn’t all that professional and now they’ve grown big enough to be in need of professionalism.)

these two things were a turning point to how dan and phil view themselves on camera and their content itself (phil sticking to the AmazingPhil PG persona) (dan with his struggles with creativity and integrity zzzz) and really, considering their story  (and how well known the early days are, and how dan and phil are aware to that…) it suddenly makes perfect sense why dan and phil aren’t in any sort of rush or need to ever come out.

however though, i think that the “post baking universe” as in the halloween 2016 baking video, the boncas speech, the european leg of tatinof, pinof 8, and gamingmas were a prep to this switch in dynamics we have seen in 2017 and that keeps very steady so far. feels as if late 2016 was so “wild” bc they were testing the waters and our reactions to see if they wanna pull through with this change. 

so, even if they will never officially come out, their dynamic both on and  off screen screams that they are literal boyfriends and they don’t need to spell it out for us to know and see. anyone who cares enough about their relationship status and look at their content with it in mind can very obviously and easily see how in love these two dorks are. same love from the early days of 2009/10 only now it has shifted into a steady, secure, safe, most wonderful thing and you can see that their love towards each other in filling their hearts with pure joy.

so yeah, dan and phil are definitely in a relationship and that doesn’t seem to change anytime soon, if ever at all.

(THAT WAS SO MESSY IM SORRY BUT I HOPE MY POINT CAME ACROSS?)