#if there be typos... eh i've tried my best but what can you expect when you're writing it all on tumblr

[drippingmoon]

a 2021 year of writing

First of all, many thanks to @ecwrenn for hosting this lovely event 🥰 this will be my piece, and I'm looking forward to hearing from you and other writers too.

First bits are always the hardest to accomplish, whether it be tumblring or writing. This was no exception 🤣 but also as it happens, it always gets much easier later on.

This will mostly be me ranting, expressing some gratitude, sharing some facts and all in all babbling haha. I even put a checkpoint somewhere in here. Hope it's enjoyable enough to read 😊

It was my most productive year, writing-wise. Perhaps it is because I joined tumblr, but I was actually able to focus on my wip in the long months between summers, and my enthusiasms for it never waned (as might be obvious from my word vomits🤣, this included).

I write only during summer, for university-related reasons. Or at least that's what I call them. I'm pretty adept at finding polite excuses for not writing, but at the end of the day, that's a bad habit I can't shake off. So it was probably my fault that my last wip, The Snow Spirit, ended up discarded after it burned me out so bad I thought I'd never write again. I often ended up forgetting about my writing and what I wanted from it, and... it damaged everything, when I went back to it. Like if I can set it aside for almost a whole year and not sparsely look back on it, was I even a writer anymore?

Anyway, things changed. My relationship with 'quiv is much different than what it was with Spirit. It's much easier to write, considering that it's fully indulgent and the exciting plot beats come sooner rather than later when my enthusiasm has slipped.

So, it wasn't the case here. What with the tag games, getting in touch with you, seeing your enthusiasm for your projects and in turn reminding me of my own... I have a lot to thank you all for 🥰 for this year to have turned out this well, I'm very grateful for you all.

So last year, in the early months of autumn, before I joined the writeblr community, I was finishing the first draft of Aquiver, Aglow, which some of you might now as my main and only wip.

January/February

...I don't actually remember when I joined hahaha. Those two months look the same to me. And also, my life at the time hadn't been the happiest. Actually, until late May my memories are all jumbled, so I'm also using this event as a chance to straighten some stuff out. I might mix up things, I might've forgotten. I hope not.

I didn't know what I expected when I joined the community 🤣 I just knew I needed to get in touch with other writers to get my mind off stuff. I was very lucky at the time to have been received very warmly by some special people. I owe you a lot and if you're reading this, I hope you know who you are ❤ I've never been as grateful to discover a community as when I talked to you.

To be honest, tumblr wasn't my first attempt at doing so. I'd actually been active on Wattpad for some years before the adds thing came on, and it didn't go too well. It was also an attempt to see if I could survive on social media without it making me feel actively worse about writing in general. Needless to say, it went incredibly well 🥰

*For reference, some of my longest comments back then had been to ask if: 1. my mother tongue was English and 2. was I going to add romance because my plot was missing it. The answers were no and no, and though that's beside the point, I felt like getting this off my chest. It was incredibly disheartening back then to finally receive feedback and have it be of that nature, but whatever.

One thing I've observed, it's kind of a writerly rite of passage for everyone to start believing more in their writing and themselves, than random comments. It's a shaky foundation, but I'm also proud of myself for not being dependant on approval as I was back then. I honestly love writing, and will keep doing so even if maybe someday I'll get my wip roasted via anon or something 🤣

Chazzawrites challenge

Okay, I'm 90% positive this took place in February 🤣 but I wouldn't swear on it. I was also a lurker back then.

It was also when I first properly started interacting with you guys. For this reason alone, because I know how many things can be changed during events, I've planned on never missing out on one.

For those who can't remember or haven't participated, it was your typical 31-day-long challenge, whereby we had to answer to one writing-related question per day. Sometimes it wasn't easy to keep up, as some questions went into the rambling realm of introduce a wip or what's your favorite part of writing or how do you relate to writing action, description, dialogue, or something along those lines.

While it was very fun to answer all those questions, there wasn't much interaction, especially between people who weren't mutuals. That is, until towards the end of the event. When we had to tag a favorite writeblr, and explain why.

Then someone simply decided to write what many of us were thinking. That yeah, what was the point of one such question if one of writeblr's main problem was that people tended to keep to their closed off cliques, and even if it was an open event, no one really came to know another? I have to say, when it turned into general appreciation, outright skipping and actually having people pop up in the comments, it felt like something was changing, moving, and I was there to witness it.

It wasn't that grand, but you felt the spark, and it was incredible. Suddenly you felt you had common ground with those people, and it wasn't as hard to reach out anymore. There were only a few days left, but it those few days I made my first row of mutuals that I'll never forget ❤

And, somehow, it'd also proven to me yet again that, most people are waiting or maybe secretly hoping for the other to make the first move. Everyone likes being surprised, especially with heartfelt feedback. And it's not that terrifying to be the one to make the first step.

After all, how many times have I found myself smiling so hard my cheeks hurt because a writeblr I'd never interacted with before chose to send me a message, or a reblog.

(Which reminds me, if by the end of this or anytime during you wanna scream at me or ask something, this is me encouraging you to.)

I stopped lurking after that 🤣

Underwing challenge

This took place in April. I simply did tag games and asks till then haha, no point in bothering you with that. And I can honestly say I've been very lucky to be able to participate. Once more I met some incredible people, and saw again some very dear others I'd befriended in the previous challenge.

I was one of the adopters, so I asked people questions on a kinda daily basis. This was very helpful, I can say it's taught me quite a bit because at one point I was making up questions I would've never thought about otherwise. And seeing the angles from where others tackled the issues, getting to see them gush over their writing, world and characters... it was one of the most beautiful experiences I've ever had 🥺

My only regret is that I didn't also participate as an adoptee. Would've been thrilled to answer those questions too 🤣 but then again, I wouldn't have had as much time to ask, so it is what it is. Some incredibly kind people went rogue anyway and made my day by popping up in my askbox 🥰

Once again, if you happen to be reading this, I'm eternally grateful to you ❤

I don't think it will see a revival this year, but in case it does, I don't have to think twice about it to know I'll be on board.

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The summer months

(Doing one of them commercial breaks. You're halfway through! What to bribe you with... ah yes, there's a cat gif at the end 😊 cheering you on)

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This is where things get a bit long (as if they hadn't already been hahaha). So, what happened? Last summer, I managed to finish draft 2 of Aquiver, Aglow (lemme bask in that victory some more...

...there we go. Basking complete 🤣) I'd actually wanted to finish a draft 3 too, but, uh, things got a bit too long. Many changes to the story took place, but that was kinda to be expected, since I threw in every single idea I'd had over the years. At one point I was very exhausted because it only kept getting longer, and I stuck to my plan of writing one chapter a night no matter what.

*It was practically hell in some days when I kept churning out words and they were all the wrong words and I kept comparing it to my first draft and lookee, you've really managed to make it much worse.

(Now, months later and with a clear, rested head, it's not that tragic anymore 🤣 but yeah, talk about things falling short of expectations. Good thing I can't remember what they were anymore^^ 🤣)

But to see the end result, and how things added up, how some unexpectedly ended up being better than I'd imagined, it was very much worth it ❤ I love writing so much I don't have enough words to express it 🥺🥰🥰

As some sort of confession, I actually started writing 'quiv as a dedication to someone very dear. Also as a way of mentally preparing myself for some things to come. Naturally, it's much changed since its early days, but it'll never forget those roots. So when I'm joking that it's my no-plot-only-feels wip, I'm also talking about how, in it, I wanna safekeep some sentiments and ideas that are pretty precious to me. And as a tribute.

Oh, oh, and one unexpected development, was that I actually wrote the lullaby I'd planned on tackling separately. I cried while writing it, and it's got more plot in it than my entire wip 🤣 it's obviously in much need of rework since: 1. I've never written a lullaby or anything in song/poem format before lol 2. it was still out of its cradle before its time...

But it means a lot to me. And since I'm also writing this and I suddenly got the urge to share the idea behind it, even if it's somewhat of a spoiler. Sometimes I don't care about that haha

So it's called Statue On Your Brow. Not a very traditional or clear name for a lullaby, I know 🤣 but the idea behind it is this:

There's a statue in a graveyard, or anywhere. That statue rests on someone's grave, perhaps on cold earth, separating the departed, beloved one from the mourner by a few feet of dirt. And this statue, the mourner's brought to resemble the one who's currently resting in the afterlife.

But it's not meant to represent the one who's dead. Even if it has their shape, it's not them. It could never be. It's the one who keeps visiting the grave, it's the shape of all their aching feelings which want to see them again, which desperately want to fold themselves into the shape of them.

The statue is there, on their brow, to keep them company. For all the hours in which the mourner can't sit by the grave, can't hold them. Can't weep for them. In all those hours, the statue of the mourner shall keep them company, if they're beneath. If they're not, it's still an eternal reminder that they're missed, they're beloved.

Whew. This was... something to write. I had to take a break after writing this, and my fingers are still shaking a little. It means a lot to me, and I only hope to do it justice in one way or another, when I arrive to its final form. It's not the only lullaby in 'quiv, but it's by far my most beloved.

Oh yeah, lullabies. Why that chosen form of song 🤣 well, because they're all aimed at the dead, and come from mourners. And they all wish their loved ones to rest well.

To depart a little from this subject, I also have another dedication to make. To that one lovely person who sent me an entire playlist and basically boosted my whole progress towards the end, you've helped out so much back then ❤❤

*Also. For the record. So there was this song, with a great soundtrack, light but expressive, perfect for my scenes at the time. Yet I innocently pay attention to the lyrics for the first time, and realize how expressively christian they were and oh my gods my best friend was laughing so much it was making me laugh, I barely got the chapter finished that night. It's one of our favorite stories now. That my non-religious ass had been passionately replaying this song going 'it's all about you Jesus, it's all about you God'. While my face was:

*But yeah, I was asking for it since I somehow decided to write about angels and also touching the subject of (some form of) religion. Now I'm told I write Bible fic 🤣

After that, my writing progress petered out. This was to be expected haha, the summer ended. I think I managed to get 50k worth of notes (draft 2 was 200k), but again, I wouldn't swear on that and it's not important.

Except that I got so many ideas I wanna test out

Autumn

Mostly I got a bit too busy. Posted tag games now and then, but my newest format is of posting an excerpt every weekend. I'll be taking a break on this too after this week, since I'll get started on reading my draft, which I absolutely can't wait for 🥰

My plans looked a little different in the beginning. After finishing draft 2, I wanted to go back to Wattpad and post it on there whilst editing to speed the process up a little. But after the recent changes, yeah, no chance.

So I'm doing my thing again and I'll be fully rewriting it this summer once more, since I can. And I'm also waiting to see if maybe some new, better writing website pops into existence.

I really wanted to see how it'd fare on Wattpad and use it as a sort of beta reading, but I'll see what I'll do about that. Any kind of talk about publishing just puts a damper on my spirits, so I'm not in a hurry to sort things out.

I'm also very much hoping I can conclude the drafting process with draft 3, and I'll finally be getting to the editing stage and slowly making my way to the final version ❤ but that's still a distant dream.

And those are also my hopes for this year. That by the end, I'll be able to write that dedication that's been weighing on my mind ever since I began. That would make me happy.

Wrapping up

If you've made it this far, your patience is pretty incredible haha<3 but huh, this was actually incredibly cathartic to write. I was expecting it, but it's a very sweet feeling to see it bear fruit.

Now I'm going do address some stuff from Aye's list since I, uh, ended up kinda meandering as I tend to do.

Works in progress count: just one. Aquiver, Aglow, which I've been talking about endlessly hahaha, I love it that much. I don't think there's a point in my adding a summary here, since I have the intro pinned to my blog (which I've reworked by the way)

(Yeah, basically evil angels have wiped off most of humankind. One of them tries to figure out what to do with the remains of the world, while having her beliefs slowly changed by a human child, whose love catches her unawares)

Okay, I could probably add Icy Penumbra, my next series about one misguided touch wizard who made a deal with a dragon and they both wanna end the world.

Unluckily for the main character who's got to stop them, they're also the politest company he's been around in years. It also doesn't help that Ptarmigan's the one who blinded Asp and tries to keep that a secret, and he was also the previous Haw to Diahra, who also blinded him in one eye.

That's because, to make a contract with Diahra, one must promise him a lie they'll strive to make reality. And Ptarmigan was the first to fulfill his lie. It's brought him nothing but guilt and grief.

For reference, Asp's current lie is to free Diahra. As he's currently the last dragon alive, forever chasing the sun to stave off the curse that killed his kind. A curse of frost spreading over their wings, encasing them in ice and having them plummet to the earth and shatter.

*If that didn't convince you, how do trenchbards sound, cartographers of the rifts and trenches at the end of the world, because it's very much flat, and many other quirky worldbuilding stuff I'm very excited about?

I, uh, have it pretty much planned out, for once. Well, generally. Which is more than I can say for all of my other wips, 'quiv included, which still doesn't have an outline. Yay me 🤣

NaNo: haven't participated, not my thing. Tried it once, it kicked my ass lol. But I love cheering you guys on<3

Reading and book recs: to my eternal shame, since I got started on 'quiv, I haven't read that much, or, should I say, at all. But my eternally favorite series is The Tawny Man trilogy by Robin Hobb. It meant a lot to me, and the writing style is so deep and rich with the characters' thoughts, I've never meet better developed characters since her books.

I remember the summers when I would read 100 books:') my best years are far behind me, y'all 🥺 plus these days I can't even be bothered to search for books because that takes time and investment and I'd rather think about 'quiv.

But enough with my moaning.

Okay, this actually marks the end of this long... *squints* shopping list salad with everything. Hope you've enjoyed the cat at the top as much as I have:)

I don't have to think much about what I want from now on. To keep interacting with all you beautiful people and discover your incredible thoughts, and slowly finish Aquiver, Aglow.

What more could I want ❤

So see you all next year, too! May you achieve all your writing dreams, and may we all keep enjoying this community we have here ❤