#if the process of arting is gonna kill me no matter what i'd better at least get a good product out of it

[goldensunset]

sighhhh. i have a really ambitious drawing idea but . this is coming from a person who struggles and bleeds and screams and cries trying to even do one painfully simple drawing. like i want full body multiple figures a particular something i have no experience with. but i take like 10 hours to draw a 3/4 bust of a simple character design. it would take me a really long time and i don't know if i have the strength to commit to that when maybe i should be practicing with simpler ideas to improve on the basics first

[mwolf0epsilon]

Same anon from the werewolf prompts ask. I was mostly asking because I'd love to see the 3rd, 4th and 10th prompt for a Polycho fic. You can decide who the werewolf is, or if all of them are wolves or not. I'm not picky!

The hardest part of getting bit is that, even when he's the "big bad wolf", Josh still can't find a place among his peers.

Luckily the wolf has an eye for good folk and maybe someone up there is finally looking out for him.

---

[[MORE]]

Despite what anyone might believe, Josh Sawyers had always lived a little rough. He'd gone to school, was well read, enjoyed arts and history, and had dreams of being a teacher one day. Sadly, he'd not had the money to pursue a higher education and due to his area of residency and skin color he was considered nothing but a lowly thug.

No one wanted to hang out with the too smart black kid that lived very close to the woods. No one but his family really. But that too had changed when he'd gotten bit.

No point keeping another mouth to feed when it might try to take your hand with it, and having a werewolf in the family would have further ostricisized his parents and siblings from the All American Dream society they were busting their asses to belong to.

In the end, Josh had just accepted it and left.

If he could run from muggers and cops that looked at him with predatorial grins and murderous eyes, he should be able to run with the crew of wolves that further complicated his life.

Except he couldn't.

"Yes I understand I'm a big bad werewolf now but really, I dont want to hurt those cute little rabbits and deer, can't we just wait until we transform back to eat?" He shrunk back when some of the others glared at him with condescending exasperation "That's not how it works? Well can't I just eat before I transform so I won't be hungry–I'm sorry I'm just new at this and I'm sorta trying to go vegetarian here–"

"Jack did you really have to pick the pansiest lilly in the fucking garden? Christ the stupid cunt won't even eat what he can get!" Dimitri, a southern english blond with a thick accent and the worst case of resting bitch face Josh had ever seen on a wolf, colorfully hissed at the alpha of the pack.

"I figured the guy would make a mean wolf. Fuck me sideways, I was wrong." Jack, their leader and the stockiest member of the group, grumbled as he glared daggers at Josh "Fucking smarty pants too good for meat?"

"Might make a good bitch." Yuri, Jack's second in command and a rather spineless idiot, offered with a barking laugh that made everyone else chortle while Josh blushed furiously and looked down.

"Ugh... You guys are assholes. I'm just gonna go for a walk." He got up and moved out of their den, an old abandoned cabin that had definitly seen better days. The stench of wolf didn't help.

"Good luck finding any food, Flower Boy, werewolves are carnivores. You gonna die for being a pussy." Jack called out behind him, getting a hearty laugh out of everyone else in the cabin.

Josh kept his back straight and his head held high, but if his tail had been showing and his ears were just a bit more wolfish, they'd have hung low in shame and sadness.

Not even a group of outcasts wanted anything to do with him. That certainly took the cake.

---

As it turned out, the others were right. As much as Josh wanted to be a vegetarian (a thought he'd had since primary school), the wolf couldn't properly process green foods. It was frustrating, because he didn't want to kill any animals. The thought of blood and gore made him shudder, even if the idea of salty iron tang made his stomach croak painfully with want. He was hungry. Very hungry.

"Think Josh... If vegetables and fruits aren't an option, then what else...?" He mumbled to himself as he walked. He needed to feed, otherwise the wolf would have a few things to say as soon as he got too hungry to keep in control.

His wolf was gentler than the others in the pack, but it was still a wild animal and hunger tended to do strange things to the mind. Especially one driven by the more primal instinct to survive.

He noticed a stream running downhill and got an idea. It wasn't a deer or a rabbit, but if bears could get nice and fat from eating fish, surely he could sustain himself on them as well? It was just a matter of catching some.

"Well, I don't have anything to lose from trying..." He figured, as he took off his clothing and folded it neatly. He set it by a rock near a massive tree, marking it with his sharpened fingernails before letting himself change into a huge dark coated wolf.

The feeling was still strange and painful, but his worries eased considerably as an animal. The world was a much simpler thing for a wolf.

With a hearty howl the wolf sprung towards the stream, hell-bent on catching some dinner.

---

"You know..." A female voice startled Josh as he pathetically crawled up onto the sandbank. A young woman was sitting there, holding a fishing cane and other assorted supplies. She had red hair, wore clothing that looked a bit too big on her, and a pair of heavy boots that looked to have steel toes. "When I saw you climbing out of the stream I was fishing in dirty, wet, and naked, I assumed you had just survived some kind of intense mob hit or something..."

Josh gulped as she set aside her tools and crossed her arms. She was smirking at him.

"But really you had just detransformed from a werewolf after you were playing in the water trying to catch a fish, and ultimately failing." Had she been watching him the entire time? "Nice ass, by the way..."

Yelping as he remembered he was completely in the nude, Josh picked up the nearest thing to cover up. It looked all the more pathetic considering the flat rounded rock was much too small to cover much.

"Easy there. It's not like I've never seen a dick before." The woman rolled her eyes "Now, before I go get my ma's shotgun, state your business here dog boy. You and your pack off to cause us trouble?"

"I... Uh no, no? I'm not..." He shook his head. "I'm not with my pack and uh, I didn't even know anyone lived here."

"We don't. The cabin is a summer retreat." The woman shrugged "What's a wolf doing trying to fish alone?"

"Could you not call me wolf? I have a name..."

"So do I. What a small world."

Josh grimaced before looking back where he came from. He should go get his clothes.

"I... Should get going."

"Hm... Yeah sure. Whatever. Try not to scare the fishes even more, you just cost me and my friends our dinner."

"You have friends?" That was hard to believe. The woman had been nothing short of unpleasant for the entirety of their short-lived and awkward conversation.

"Yes. One of them has a crossbow. Beat it pooch." She glared.

He didn't need to be told twice.

---

A couple of nights later, Josh had finally mastered his fishing abilities and was anxiously awaiting the rise of the full moon.

He hated going back to the den, but cuddling for warmth was the only way not to freeze to death in the woods, and it was risky to wander off too far without the pack. There were other wolves and worse, bears.

Not that his pack cared that he ran off anyway.

Still, as soon as the moon rose he could slink off to the stream and catch himself a good meal. He'd found a massive school of fish in a hole that lead to an underground pool. The fish either got stuck there by accident and couldn't leave due to low lighting, or were just too greedy when feeding on the vast surplus of food that the hole had to offer them.

All the better to keep him nice and full.

He had almost completely forgot about that woman from the other day, until he'd rushed off on all fours towards the stream and caught an odd sent in the wind.

The wolf grumbled in annoyance at the intrusion, but its curiosity was just as great as its human side's.

On feather light paws, it crouched and tracked the sent, before a whiff of grilled fish made its mouth water.

In the same spot Josh had met the woman, were three humans making dinner out of a bucket of large fat fish. It seemed like the redhead was a skilled fisherwoman.

"It's a loud night." A man with a shaved head, tan freckled skin and heterochromia, commented as he listened to the occasional howl in the distance. This trio was far away from the pack's hunting grounds, so there was no danger.

"Werewolves. I met one the other day..." The redhead murmured. "Took me longer to get a catch because the dumbass was flopping about like a drowning lamb."

"You met a werewolf? How come you didn't say anything, North?" A blond man with tired eyes and pale complexion asked.

"Didn't seem important at the time." North huffed "Besides, at the mention of my shotgun and your crossbow, he fled."

"You mean your mom's old shotgun. That thing is rusty as hell North. Wouldn't kill a fly..." The freckled man chuckled "But in all seriousness, Simon's right. You should have said something."

"Oh lay off Markus. It's fine! We're not staying much longer, just a couple of days anyway, and the wolves are far away."

The wolf watched them curiously. They were an odd trio. North, Simon and Markus.

Their names sounded... Nice somehow. And their interactions were all in good jest, rather than aggressive.

Whining softly, the large wolf lay down and kept watching them. It's heart ached for companionship it did not get from it's peers.

The blond's head perked up suddenly.

"Did you hear that?"

"Not everyone has your bat ears Simon..." North pointed out. "What's up?"

The blond didn't reply, instead staring off into the treeline where the wolf hid.

Had he heard it? That was impossible, humans didn't hear that well.

The man squinted, before getting up. His posture was intimidating to say the least, and the look in his eyes was one of warning.

Before anyone could say anything, or the wolf could process what was going on, the blond was right in front of it with his lips curled back so the wolf could see his long fangs. A vampire.

"Simon!" Markus called out, seeming just as startled at the wolf. "Don't do that!"

"We've got a wolf!" The blond called back.

"Is it big and got black mottled fur?" North asked from where she was sitting.

"Yes."

"Same guy from last time. Hey you caught any fish yet or just did a bad impression of the Little Mermaid?" The redhead grinned.

Simon rose an eyebrow in question before noticing the grimace on the wolf's face.

"I don't think it liked that."

"It can say that to my face. Come on, bring the thing over, if it didn't pounce us yet, it's not going to."

The vampire shrugged and looked back at the wolf, still suspicious, before motioning for it to get up and follow. The wolf decided it best not to argue, especially when the redhead offered a grilled fish.

It had been ages since it ate something cooked.

---

"So you really do run solo, don't you?" North asked in the morning, when the moonlight was no longer coursing through his veins, and after they'd all introduced themselves at the cabin.

The redhead hadn't been kidding about owning a shotgun. It was on display at the cabin, but it was also rusted to kingdom come. Markus had been right about it not harming a fly.

She used it as a threat to intruders. Uninvited guests were unwelcome, which was funny considering she had invited a vampire and a wolf into the threshold.

That was certainly some risk taking. Not that he was complaining.

The offered blankets had been so soft he'd practically rolled around in them when he woke up. The texture felt nice against his bare skin. It helped ignore the dull aches and sores of transformation.

"I prefer it." Josh replied. "It's calmer when I'm on my own. Quieter. Easier to get food and rest instead of getting pounced on and forced to submit to some asshole's command..."

Simon held the blanket he'd covered himself in tightly as he took a sip from a glass. The breakfast table was nicely organized, and he'd given them all plates of pancakes and glasses of orange juice. He himself ate nothing and drank a tinted glass that Josh's nose noted was full of pig's blood.

"Sounds rough." The blond commented as he shielded his sensitive skin from the sunlight creeping into the cabin.

"It is... Honestly though I hate my pack so much, like theyre a bunch of assholes but I ran into you guys on my full moon run in the forest and..." he shrugged "I don't know you seem pretty cool..."

"We seem cool? Bitch we're the coolest." North grinned.

"North..." Markus rolled his eyes. "Well... Uh, aren't werewolves social? Running solo seems very lonely for a wolf."

"It is but uh... I don't know, I was hoping I could sorta... You know." Josh stammered in embarrassment "Go hunting or scare some people or some shit? With you guys? I know this lake thats always really warm, I can show you... and uh, there's this hole in the stream that's full of big fat fish that just kinda hang in there? In case you uh, needed more?"

The three looked among each other debating what to do. They only had a couple of days left at the cabin and Josh would surely be lonely after they left.

North looked back at Josh before looking at Markus intently.

"... No." The heterochromatic man said flatly.

"Oh come on, we kept the vampire living in your attic, can't we keep this poor lonely lost puppy too?" North put on an exaggerated pout.

"I'm not a puppy. Also you were living in Markus's attic?" Josh asked Simon incredulously. That seemed a bit weird.

"Technically his dad's attic which technically is my attic because that mansion has been in my family for generations, but yeah sure let's go with that." Simon shrugged.

"A vampire doesn't shed or howl." Markus argued with North.

"I don't shed!" Josh was slightly offended.

"Come oooon. I can walk him, and feed him, and teach him cool tricks." North grinned.

"What the fuck is happening right now?"

"Your pack sucks and you're nice. You're getting adopted by the two most insufferable humans in this part of Michigan." Simon smiled "Don't worry. You'll get a bed, access to hot water and tv, as well as treats. They'll spoil you rotten."

"...Well I can't argue with that." Josh snorted. "I haven't showered in months and the smell of wet dog after I take a dip in the lake is pretty bad."

"Good choice." Simon laughed "Come on Markus, you always did say you wanted a pet."

"I was thinking along the lines of a canary or cockatoo..."

At the end of their trip to the cabin Markus relented, having grown very fond of Josh, and the werewolf collected what little belongings he had at the den before joining them at the cabin and sitting in the back of North's car with Simon.

The other wolves wouldn't miss him anyway, so he didn't bother to say goodbye. If anything he hoped he'd not hear from them ever again.

Thank god his wolf had a good eye for nice folk. North, Markus and Simon were weird, but they were his brand of weird.

He could get used to not living rough for once.

[thuskindlyshescatters]

HI! I was wondering, when you make AMVs, are there some general things that you keep in mind or try to do? For example, synchronizing the changes in the clips or whatnot with the music. I'm kinda asking for advice, so I'd be really grateful to hear anything you have to say.

Ohhh, boy...

OH BOY,,,,,,,

This is probably gonna get really, really long, because I happen to be an aspiring filmmaker, so seeing someone ask ME for advice on AMV craftsmanship just makes my heart soar. So, thank you for that

Here’s a couple of my tips and tricks! Note that these are just my preferences, as many other styles and techniques are available to people who use different software.

You’re correct in the assumption that changing clips to the beat of the music (beat-syncing, as I unofficially call it in my head) plays a HUGE role in making AMVs. To make that smoother, I think that being able to see the waveform of the music you’re editing to is a great tool, because I know exactly where the downbeat I want to sync to is. As well as syncing cuts to beat, I think syncing the action within a shot to the beat, like someone blinking or their footsteps, adds an extra layer of immersion. This can be hard to do sometimes given the length of the shot, but the effect is worth it.

Sometimes beat-syncing isn’t precisely the way to go, however. Often, slow, soft fades are much more effectively when matching tempo adagio or slower, or quiet music. And never underestimate the power of a black screen; when the audience has just been hit with a pensive moment, give them time to think. I point to my “Bohemian Rhapsody” video for advice on both of these -- if it’s a slow song, slo-mo, fading, and sometimes straight-up darkness is the way to go.

Just for general creation advice, my “routine” for making videos follows thusly:

Choose the song you want to use. If you scroll through my channel, a lot of the songs I choose are 4+ minutes, mostly because songs that are longer tend to be about something. It’s hard to show meaning and create a visual story to a song with no relevance to the themes of the show.

Write down all the lyrics to the song and break lines according to when you want to change visuals, or make a note indicating when the shot will change (i.e. “One shot per downbeat”, which is usually hell to make and so fun to watch). 

Think to yourself, how do I want to organize these visuals? For example, will each verse go chronologically through the show? Will I follow the character arc of one specific character? Just trailers? Just Volumes 1-3? Just 4-6? If it’s a song with multiple “acts”, like “The Killing Kind” on my channel, the answer may be all of the above. Or none -- maybe just all the fights in the show! Just know that the viewer tends to associate chronology the best with the logical progression of a cluster of shots -- if I show the fight on top of the train, Cinder vs Neo, and the fight of the Grimm Reaper, your brain goes “oh, she’ll probably show the mech fight, or the fight with Adam, or the Silver Eyes sequence next” because your brain has figured out that all of these intense scenes are from Volume Six. This is why I find it annoying to do meaningless, upbeat pop songs -- action is exciting, but often when the entire song is action, you have to jump around a lot, and the audience quickly becomes lost.

Now it’s time to “block,” as I call it. For each line or phrase of the song, find the most appropriate shot in the context that you’ve just established (a character’s arc, a Volume, an episode, even), and write a brief description so that you, when you read those words, know what shot that means. I also tag the volume and episode it’s from. For example, some of the common shots I use are “Arm severing (3:11)”, “Pyrrha disintegrating (3:12)”, and even silly ones like “Cinder gets rekt (5:13)” that still get the point across, because I know what I mean. This step is where having an obsessive, encyclopedic knowledge of the show is pretty useful, especially if you want to avoid reusing shots but have the same lyrics as before to work with.

After that, you FINALLY start editing. I cut out ALL of the shots I’m using first by ctrl+F-ing the document I blocked in and going in release order, starting with the Red Trailer, all the way through 6:13. I find the shot and cut it at the very first frame and the very last. It doesn’t matter if it will only be used for 0.4 seconds (literally) -- having all 10 seconds of material may come in handy. Sometimes in this step I see an unused shot that might be better than what I originally intended, so a lot of swaps can be made. After that’s done, I put the shots in order and add the song.

Then you CUT THAT SHIT DOWN, SON. You might have 45 minutes of content before you start editing. In this stage, don’t add any sorts of transitions or anything -- just beat-sync the shots as well as you can, then go back and rewatch to see if there are things you want to fix. Consistency is key; sometimes, lyrics and the beat are syncopated, and you have to choose whether to sync to the downbeat or the words, and then remember that decision for the next verse. This step is my favorite part of the entire process, but it usually takes the least amount of time.

Once you’re SURE it’s properly synced, now it’s time for transitions and colors and whatnot. Transitions should always follow the tone of that part of the song -- is it fast? Is it full of movement? I’ve found that cymbal crashes and other high-pitched percussive noises are best accompanied by a flash or white-fade transition. I generally prefer more simplistic transitions; the meaning and tone of the song is more important to me than looks and showing off. Same goes for color editing; the eye expects to see an approximate parallel to what it’s used to, which means you better have a damn good reason if it’s suddenly going to be in X-ray mode. Obviously, black and white or washed-out colors are more somber or grimdark, and fully saturated colors are more jubilant. Mess around with it -- you have been a consumer of art your entire life, so at this point, your eye knows what looks nice!

That’s probably nowhere NEAR all of my thoughts, but that’s mostly how I do it! My best advice is to find what you love to do most about it -- for me, it’s beat syncing -- and study in AMVs you like to watch how they do it. Don’t plagiarize, but do imitate if it helps you learn, because I know for a fact that I learn something new from every video I watch and create.

If you have any more questions, feel free to ask them! I’m thrilled to receive them. And, if you're planning on making a video, shoot me a link -- I’d love to see your art!

[fae-fucker]

hey! from one writer to another, i'd like to ask some advice you may or may not be able to give. ive finally found the courage to post some writing (although i am not at all overwhelmingly proud of it. anyway)... What advice would u possibly give a writer who's feeling like their work is Eh, at best, and Bleh at worst? have you ever had like, tons of projects and you just werent sure what to focus on, what to pour all of your heart into?? have you ever just... not felt passionate? im stuck! @~@

Bruh I struggle with this every day. 

(Also this is my book blog and I have a writing blog over here where I sometimes respond to people asking for tips and mostly post about personal projects.)

I’m gonna try to give you advice, but seeing as I’m really in no place to give any, feel free to ignore everything I say.

What advice would u possibly give a writer who’s feeling like their work is Eh, at best, and Bleh at worst?

Read some terrible, terrible books. This might sound and look petty, and who cares if it is, but this honestly helps me a lot. 

No matter how good you are, there will always be someone out there who’s better. But. This also means that no matter how bad you are, there will always be someone out there who’s worse. Look for good books when you need #goals and inspiration. Look for bad books when you need to feel good about yourself and educate yourself on what not to do.

People say “don’t compare yourself to others”, but we all do it anyway, so you might as well get something useful out of it.

Writing is art, and art is subjective. Some books that are critically acclaimed and loved by fans I think are pure and utter garbage. Some books that people consider to be bad I think are amazing. That applies to your writing as well.

As for how to feel good about your own writing, regardless of what others think: 

I think it’s one of those fundamental artist things that you can’t really avoid. If you think your art is amazing, you won’t improve, so self-criticism is good.

But on the other hand, feeling like everything you make is crap can kill your need to create as well as any outside criticism can. You have to find a middle ground where you feel like you can do better, bu what you have isn’t terrible either. 

I don’t have tips on how to find this mysterious balance, sadly. I struggle with it myself. 

What helps me when I feel terrible about my writing is having a few friends read it and tell you what they feel. It might not be the most nuanced and honest criticism, but that tiny bit of encouragement can go a long way and give you enough positive reinforcement to continue writing. 

have you ever had like, tons of projects and you just werent sure what to focus on, what to pour all of your heart into?? 

Absolutely! I used to have this a lot back in the day, where I’d have dozens of ongoing and inevitably abandoned projects clogging up my brain. 

I don’t have this problem quite as much anymore, because I’ve developed this technique that kills off any ideas that don’t hold my interest enough to become a good project I feel passionate about, kinda like natural selection (except not at all, I don’t know science).

I don’t know if this will work for anybody else (in fact, it definitely won’t, because some people need to actively and purposefully keep working on ideas to like them more), but I used to be a chronic plot bunny chaser and now I’m a skilled sniper, killing only the juciest prey. 

Basically, when you get a new idea: Don’t start writing it. 

Just don’t. Write down the basic concept if you don’t want to forget it (I do this all the time), but don’t start writing the story. Let it sit there in your head, let it stew in your brain juice. We tend to get attached and excited about new ideas becaue they’re … new and exciting, duh. But once they become “old” and boring, we give up and go look for something else that interests us.

This basically does that for you without you having to waste time writing it and feeling disappointed later. If you notice yourself thinking less and less of your idea, then it’s not something that would’ve held your attention for long anyway. If you notice one idea coming back to you over and over and over and you just can’t stop thinking about it: that’s the one. That’s the golden nug. 

Once you find it you’ll know that this is the one you want to spend time with. Write a couple of chapters, see where how you feel about it, but try not to figure it out all at once, because then it’ll become boring again and you’ll lose interest.

This process usually takes months for me. It’s long, but it pays off in the end. My new idea has taken me that much to cement itself, and I still don’t know everything, but I know enough to know that I want to find out more about it. 

Find a thing that interests you a lot and you know you’d love to explore, but leave yourself some room for development and discovery so you don’t get bored.

You want a project to pour all of your heart into, but how many hearts do you have? Just one, presumably. This is gonna sound cheesy, but logically, you can’t pour all of your heart into every project you have, at least not all at once. 

This is just my #deep way of saying that focusing on a few projects can help make them better. You want to make one or two things that are amazing instead of seven that are meh, right?

Pick one or two or even three, and alternate between those when one of them gets boring. It’s ok to let things rest and let yourself miss the project and rediscover your love for it.

have you ever just… not felt passionate?

Yep! With my #brainweirds, I feel passionate once in a blood moon. 

What keeps me going? 

I have no idea. I have a story and I want to share it. These characters torment me every day and I want them to torment someone else for a change. 

What keeps my motivation going is also the fact that there are people out there actually waiting for me to finish my book so they can read it. Find someone like that, it’s actually not super hard becaue the interner is a perfect place to find people who like stuff that you like. You only need a couple of cheerleaders to get yourself back on track.

And it’s ok to take a break. You don’t have to feel passionate all the time, and you definitely won’t even if you tried to. Do small projects. Do a low-effort fanfic. Or don’t do anything at all! 

But you’re asking what to do to feel passionate and how to keep going, and I honestly don’t know the secret to that, even though I’ve seemingly unlocked it.

I think you should just pack your stories full of things you like. Tropes, ideas, concepts, worlds, characters. Fill this thing with things you love and want to see more of, and you’ll notice how it pulls you back in because you just like it so much and you want to see it come true and share it with others. 

I have shamelessly made a post with all my personal tropes and it’s silly, but it’s what I write and what I gravitate towards, and I have a bunch of people interested in my work already. Not because I’m awesome, but because one will always find an audience, and if you love something a lot, there will be someone out there who will love it too. No matter how “eh” or “bleh” you think it is.

I hope this helped! Good luck!

[trancowboy]

Hi Charlie, I'm making a thing and I was wondering if you could help me by shraing your view about steve rogers and bucky barnes, as individual characters as well as your view of their relationship together, headcanons and such, is totally okay if you can't, but if you do I'd be eternally grateful! Thanks anyway

Pal, you basically just invited me to write a whole entire essay about these two assholes, so… I’m sorry? This is gonna get long and most likely sad.

Steve Rogers:

Steve is an asshole, through and through. He’s got a heart of gold and being a good person is in his nature, but my god is he an asshole.

He will fight anyone who does him or anyone he cares about wrong. He won’t hesitate to pick a fight and he would much rather throw some punches than have a verbal conversation/discussion.

Steve Rogers talks with his fists. He’ll fight until he physically can’t stand anymore and even then he will stand up and push himself just that last little bit.

(”I could do this all day.” Steve, my angry baby, have a seat and take a nap.)

Steve is the bisexual we deserve. I think he’s always been aware that he’s attracted to both men and women, but he never told anyone about it back in the day. He didn’t need people to have another reason to beat him up, so he kept it quiet.

(And if he paid a little more attention to certain drawings of a certain boy, then that was his business.)

I don’t think he knew there was a name for what he feels until he woke up in the future. But once he found out and learned more about it, I like to think he’d be a Proud Bi and just tell everyone he comes across because it’s okay now and he can do it.

Sure, it gets a little tiring when he answers his phone with, “Steve Rogers, proud bisexual. Hello,” but his friends get used to it and strangers get past the confusion quickly.

Steve swears. A lot. Like a whole fucking lot. I actively ignore the whole “Language” line (unless it was a joke that Steve only told because he’s tired of the ~grandpa~ jokes, which, ok, I can get behind that) because Steve Rogers has the mouth of a fucking sailor.

Steve can swear up a storm but compliment him or flirt with him or be extra nice or anything and he’ll blush like a tomato and become so awkward he doesn’t know what to do with himself.

Even after all these years, Steve still feels a bit awkward in this new body of his. He doesn’t miss being skinny and sickly and tiny and on the brink of death all the time, but sometimes he doesn’t like being big and muscle-y either. Sometimes he doesn’t like how he can’t make himself invisible as easily as he used to.

Sometimes he just wants to curl up under the covers of his bed and hide from the outside world that has painted him as a person he’s not; a world that sees him as a soldier and Captain America™ rather than a human being.

He lives in a world he doesn’t recognize where everyone he ever knew and cared about are either dead or only remembers him half the time. This deleted scene from The Avengers shows just how detached to the world he feels and honestly, I have way too many feelings about that three minute video.

Steve throws himself into danger (jumping on a grenade without thought, crashing the Valkyrie, jumping out of a plane without a parachute, etc) because he doesn’t really care whether he lives or dies. He never feared death because death has loomed over him like a shadow since he was a child.

And maybe he wants death to take him sometimes. He definitely wanted to when he crashed the Valkyrie. He could have fought more, could have figured out a way to save the world and still survive, but he was tired and he just wanted it to end, so he stopped fighting.

And then he woke up 70 years later to more fighting and he just never slowed down or took a break, because if he did, he’d have to deal with how he was feeling and he couldn’t handle that. He didn’t want to deal with it because it was too painful.

While extremely heavy on the angst, Einherjar by thecommodore_squid perfectly portrays Steve’s depression. Steve in that fic is pretty much exactly how I see him.

MOVING ON TO HAPPIER THINGS, SHALL WE?

Steve is a Disney nerd. He probably didn’t get to catch up on all the new Disney movies between TFA and CW, but between giving up the shield and becoming Nomad (@ marvel let me have bearded!nomad!steve pls and thanks) he probably took a breather for the first time in years and started on the list.

(Does he sit with a laptop by Bucky’s cryo freezer and watches them with him??? haha shoot me)

Steve will fight for what he believes in, no matter what. He proved that in CW when he gave up everything for Bucky without thinking twice.

And then, of course, there’s my headcanon that Steve is trans but if I dive into that, this thing is gonna end up 100k on Steve alone.

Bucky Barnes:

Bucky cares so much. He’s the guy who stood by this skinny, little punk’s side when no one else did. He’s the guy who probably worked his ass off for hours and hours just to get enough money so Steve could get healthy (or healthier) again.

He’s the guy who went through torture and trauma and had the opportunity to get an honorable discharge after what he went through, but he didn’t. Instead he followed his best friend back into war and it cost him his life and freedom and self.

But I’d bet my left foot that he’d do it all again, because he’s Bucky and Bucky cares so goddamn much about everyone but himself.

Bucky is gay. Yes, he was with women back in the day and yes, he kissed them and fooled around with them and probably got off a little, but I think he did it just because it was expected of him.

If it wasn’t because it would be suspicious to everyone else, he would probably just stay home with Steve and pine every single day.

Bucky is such a giant fucking nerd. He finds science and technology incredibly exciting. I mean, he did spend his last night before going off to war dragging Steve to the Stark Expo (and their dates but eh).

Imagine his reaction to all the science stuff he missed while being used by Hydra? He’s gonna light up like a child on Christmas. God, I love my nerd son so much.

Bucky is smart as hell and no one can convince me otherwise. I mean, “[…] having been an excellent athlete who also excelled in the classroom” is proof enough.

Bucky has been through hell and back several times. He’s been wiped of his memories and himself until he was a blank slate for Hydra to do whatever they wanted to with, and it’s happened probably more times than he’s been able to keep track of. And every time he started regaining just a little bit of himself or just one little memory, the torture would start all over again.

He’s been through hell, so it shouldn’t surprise anyone that he suffers from a severe case of PTSD.

Bucky Barnes is a man who cares and protects and when he’s made into a weapon who kills and murders and destroys – when he himself becomes the danger, he locks himself away because he thinks that’s the best thing for everybody.

Steve + Bucky:

There’s no Steve without Bucky, and there’s no Bucky without Steve. Steve and Bucky have always been SteveandBucky, and one without the other means they’re never really whole.

They’re their own person, sure, but they’re better together. They make each other better. Bucky makes sure Steve doesn’t kill himself with his stupidity and recklessness, and Steve makes sure Bucky gets protected and cared for too.

Steve will give up everything for Bucky, no hesitation and no questions asked, and Bucky will do whatever it takes to protect Steve, even if that means hurting him in the process (ie going into cryo).

Bucky is Steve’s dark side and Steve will do anything for him.

I have mixed thoughts on who fell in love with who first. My first instinct is to say Bucky fell in love with Steve first because of all the obvious pining in TFA, but then I think about little Steve Rogers who everyone beat up and disregarded and didn’t care about getting saved by this wonderful boy who doesn’t look down on him and treats him like an equal and I think it was easy for Steve to fall in love with Bucky, so I’m just¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

It doesn’t really matter who fell in love with who first though, does it? What mattes is that they love each other unconditionally and ‘til the end of the line (and beyond cause c’mon. That kinda love is never gonna die).

To end on a lighter note, I’m gonna give you some fluffy headcanons cause I have A Lot.

Steve is the big spoon. He always has been. Bucky loved when there was a skinny octopus clinging to him and barely being able to cover him and he loves it when he’s surrounded by pillowy muscles and warmth.

Bucky was Steve’s favorite subject to draw. And even after everything, even when he hadn’t seen him for years and thought he was dead, Steve still drew him because he never wanted to forget the face of the man he loves.

Whenever Bucky talks about science stuff, he gets all excited and extra cute, and Steve always falls in love with him a little bit more.

Same for when Steve talks about art or literally anything he’s passionate about. Steve could talk about poop and piss for an hour, and Bucky would be making heart-eyes at him the whole time.

Steve used to wear Bucky’s shirts all the time. His excuse used to be that he was too lazy to do laundry, but really, he just liked wearing Bucky’s clothes. (Bucky never minded.)

Clothes sharing is a Thing with these two. It’s a Thing that happens a lot and no one can convince me otherwise.

Bucky loves having his hair played with and Steve loves to play with Bucky’s hair.

Bucky has always loved dancing. That doesn’t change over the years, and he will make Steve dance with him again. (”I don’t care that the serum didn’t fix your two left feet, Stevie, dance with me.”)

When they finally do get together (whether that was before the war or after TWS doesn’t matter) Steve never wastes an opportunity to tell Bucky he loves him, and Steve takes every chance he can to kiss him because now he can.

Steve was probably the one who made the first move.

Steve is a little shit and Bucky loves him even when he’s being Extra and Dramatic and even when Bucky’s exasperated with him. Steve can be as much of an asshole as he wants to, because Bucky will always love him.

Bucky loves flirting with Steve just to see Steve blush bright red. (Sometimes Bucky will just casually put his hand on Steve’s butt or boob and Steve will become Captain Tomato.)

Steve will fucking fight anyone who says anything bad about Bucky.

Conclusion: Give these boys some hugs and a happy ending, please and thank you.

Anyway, I’ve got a ton more Thoughts but this is already so stupidly long, so I’m gonna stop there. Hope this was helpful (was it??? idk) and thank you for letting me ramble on about these two fuckers.

PS, tell me more about your thing or link me, maybe, if you wanna 👀