#if the notion of being perceived as harsh and bossy didn't fill me with absolute dread as to how I'll eventually be treated | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

rawliverandgoronspice · 1 year ago

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one of my major problems with my job is that I get sososo tired of trying to figure out how to interact with people in a way that is honest, productive, but also doesn't bruise anyone's egos, and I can feel myself getting worse at it as time goes on and it's genuinely what drains me and stresses me out the most by far

#thoughts #personal #I am sooooo wary of being banished back into the Bitch Corner #part of me feels like it's inevitable (and probably some neuroatypical behavior honestly)#that the longer the collaboration goes on and the more I feel defeated in advance at the notion that these people will end up hating me #but trying to pull out before this actually happens will lead to people not understanding why I'm backing away #and also hurt my reputation in a way #tired tired tired #not to go all sjw on tumblr dot com (the audacity!!) but #wonder how less of a problem that would be for me if not woman-adjacent in games #I mean don't get me wrong I would be a Horrible Person if I had received amab socialization I have zero doubts about that #but #yeah like a lot of the time the reason why I get shoved into the Bitch Corner is because I reacted to bullshit I did not start #but the way I react becomes more important than what I was reacting to (I have Very Bad examples of that in mind)#I've been called a living shotgun recently in a way that wasn't entirely derogatory and even a little appreciative?#and the thing is that do sound like me (oh no) and I would appreciate and own that descriptor I think #if the notion of being perceived as harsh and bossy didn't fill me with absolute dread as to how I'll eventually be treated #how people will eventually feel like it's okay to treat me because surely I must have deserved it at least a little #so #idk don't love that being a constant in my career so far!!!!#sorry I'm just being very Panic Attack Trigger Happy since a couple of days #doesn't bode well for the year to come

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