#if the LN title is 3 paragraphs you know it's gonna be good

[delicateanchorrebel]

Coffee for One - Short Story

I enter the Starbucks and walk up to the counter.

"Can I take your order?" the employee asks.

I look up from the ground. I am in shock. Behind the register is a girl so beutiful that I almost break into tears. I have never talked to someone so beautiful before. I am so nervous that I begin sweating all over and trembling with fear.

I wipe my sweaty hands off on the front of my t-shirt. "L-Large c-coffee," I croak out in an unintelligible whisper, staring at the floor nervously.

"Sorry, what was that?" the employee asks in response.

What is this girl saying? I just told her what I wanted. Why wasn't she paying attention? Is she saying that I'm not worth listening to? It's fine. I will overlook her rudeness this time.

"Um sorry. Uh s-sorry, I want a large coffee." I manage to squeak out again. I am mentally exhausted by all this disrespect.

"Oh so a grande coffee. Coming right up." the cashier says with a smile.

A grande? What is she talking about? I ordered a large coffee. I knew it this girl thinks she's better than me. Just because she's good-looking she thinks she can look down on me. Well she isn't even that pretty. Sure at first glance she has a pretty face but looking more closely now I can tell that her nose is slightly too long and her eyes are too close together. None of the anime girls I know of have features like her. By looking at her ears I can tell that they are round like a human. Not pointed like a high elf, the epitome of beauty. Disgusting.

Acknowledging her obvious and flagrant flaws, I decide that I will teach her a lesson in humility. I draw upon my resolve and shout in the loudest voice I can muster.

"Your ears are the wrong shape!" I smirk at her.

The employee looks back at me in confusion. "Huh?"

Oh no, I went too far. She must hate me now. I look at the ground as tears begin to well up in my eyes. I knew I would never be worthy to order at Starbucks. I plead with the employee.

"I-I'm so s-sorry!" I bawl out, "I'm human trash. You must hate me now."

"Sir, are you alright?" the employee asks with a concerned expression on her face and a pained look in her eyes.

"I have disrespected you too greatly. I do not deserve to live. Take my life with your own hands."

"S-Sir, it's fine. Please just wait over there for your order," she says, visibly uncomfortable.

I nod glumly and wait in the corner like she asked. Wow, this woman has chosen to spare me. How merciful can she be. She is so kind and beautiful she must have transcended humanity. Indeed, she is not a human but a goddess. I must pay her back for her kindness.

As I wait, I determine what I must do.

"Dennis?" the employee calls out.

Oh that's me. I begin sweating nervously. I take a trembling step forward. Then another. Eventually I make it to where my coffee is waiting.

The employee hands it too me with a forced smile. "Have a nice day."

"Please marry me!" I blurt out. This goddess is so pure and kind I cannot do anything to pay her back but offer my love.

"Sir, I don't know you, and I have a boyfriend." She has a displeased look on her face.

How dare she! I was willing to offer up my love to her and overlook her obviously rude personality and flawed facial features, but she just threw it back in my face. I guess she is too stupid to realise what a great guy I am. If this is the treatment I am going to receive here, I will not stand for it.

"You stupid bitch. How do you not understand how generous I am being. You will regret your decision when your 'boyfriend' who is probably an asshole cheats on you and you die alone. Good day!"

I storm out of the store in a huff. I throw my boiling hot coffee at a passerby.

Why is this whole world against me? I'm just trying to be nice, but everyone always hates me. I think I must just be too smart for them. Yes, that's it. I will now return to my domicile and read mangas about people like me proving how they are better than the evil one dimensional caricatures that populate their fictional worlds. That will prove that I am superior to everyone else.

With a satisfied smile I return home.

THE END Thank God.