#if someone truly cares about him they will push past it and see that he's lying
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deathbxnny · 10 hours ago
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Loved your writing of arcane characters saying things they regret during an argument. Would you be willing to do a version with Jayce, Viktor and Silco? I apologize if you don't prefer to write about these characters, you can ignore this
Arcane men saying things they'll regret during an argument. | Viktor, Jayce, Silco x Gn!Reader
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Oh, I absolutely am willing to do that, Anon!! These are going to be pretty irredeemable, though, so there is not going to be a part two to this... anyways, enjoy!!<3
Content: Season 2 spoilers!!, heavy angst, hurt/no comfort, break ups, swearing, gaslighting, toxic behavior, sfw
Reader has no mentioned pronouns.
((Not proofread))
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》VIKTOR
"This... isn't you anymore, Viktor. A-And I refuse to keep lying to myself like this either!" You hissed out one night, unable to keep it in any longer. You were losing your mind in this compound of his, unable to understand how seemingly no one was able to recognize how wrong everything was. People who were "healed" by him weren't the same after. They turned into robotic and uncanny husks of their old selves.
A terrifying sight that unnerved you deeply. And only you here.
The nail in the coffin was perhaps the skeptical appearance of Councilor Salo. Never in your life had you ever seen him give a damn about anyone but himself. He lived a life of riches and materialism, far from the selfless and minimalistic lifestyle found here. But after your boyfriend healed him of his inability to walk, he suddenly preached the same ideals that everyone else did.
Peace, love, and community.
Those were the important pillars of this idyllic place Viktor had created, and yet you couldn't see past the clear red flags that weaved themselves in their white attire. You were never much of a genius like he was, but it didn't take much brainpower to understand that this was not a great place to be in. No matter how hard he attempted to convince you of that.
"... I'm sorry you feel that way. But I'm afraid I can not follow your reasoning for this claim. I am myself... just someone greater. More meaningful. Isn't that beautiful?" His voice was so gentle and patient in comparison to yours. Something that wasn't unusual to him. But the way he used that tone now made you sick. "Terrifying is a better word, actually... Why can't you see that this is just wrong? You're not healing anyone-" "-But I am. Look around you. Is that not enough for you to finally believe me, my love? I want to create a better world... one in which we can live freely together." Your mind spun, his words ringing in your head dangerously. And you hated every second of it.
This isn't the man you loved anymore. He must have died that fateful day when the sky fell from above, and he covered you with his body to save you. His last act of kindness as your boyfriend and lover before he perished and left behind whoever he was. And you'd be damned if the last good memory got tainted too.
"No. I will not let you play with my mind anymore. I've had enough." You pushed past him, wanting to finally escape this borderline cult. Originally, you had only followed after him because you couldn't bear being without him. Jayce was right, though. He really was different now.
"Hm... it seems like I was right about you after all." You stopped in your tracks yet didn't dare face him. "You truly are not worth saving... you can't grasp the beauty of what I have made. I suppose everyone's claims for your low intelligence were, unfortunately, right. What a shame." How could a devil have such a soothing, loving voice? Why did the monster that now lurked in your shadow have to have your lovers face? The cruelty was too much to bear.
Who would have thought that you'd finally leave him for good after all the years you've taken care of him? This moment felt so surreal and yet ironically freeing as well. The end was near. "Did you... ever even love me?" You asked aimlessly, but didn't wait to hear his answer.
Perhaps if you had, however, you would've seen that sudden spark of surprise in his eyes, as you slipped out of his fingers for good at last.
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》JAYCE
You had looked everywhere for him. And after also asking everyone under the sun if they had seen your boyfriend, you had eventually determined that he must've somehow gone missing. Worried sick, it pained you knowing that there wasn't much you could do either, considering that everyone was too busy getting ready for a borderline war and Caitlyn became unreachable as a result. Yet just as you began to lose hope, your dear lover finally returned... but he wasn't the same.
He didn't look the same, nor did he act the same, in fact. He looked so different that it even visibly startled you when you found him rummaging through his once shared laboratory. You had just returned from another wrap around the building in hopes of finding it, and whilst you'd consider yourself lucky this time around, all you now felt was genuine dread.
"Jayce...? What happened to you? I looked for you everywhere and-" You stilled at the intense look he gave you, his face flinching for a moment, as though his mind couldn't comprehend your image. Glancing over at his peculiar weapon of choice, you felt unnerved at how even that looked uncanny. The entire situation was unnerving you deeply, to say the least. "You... You shouldn't be here." He finally muttered, his voice deeper and colder than it ever was. Jayce always had such a fun and warm voice. If you didn't know any better, you would've questioned who he was a while ago.
"Hey... tell me where you were, okay?" You said, trying a more gentle approach as you neared him, eyes focused on his clearly injured leg. Had he been kidnapped? You doubted it. So what made him end up like this? Nothing you could come with explained his appearance. His hair and beard were way longer than they should have gotten in the short span of time he was gone, too.
Reaching down carefully, you tried to inspect his leg, but he seemed less receptive to the idea. Or so you assumed, after he shoved you away roughly and held the hammer to your face at impressive speed. His eyes were glossy, as though he wasn't entirely all there. He was reliving a terrifying moment in his mind, unaware of the horror you were going through. Never could you have ever thought of ending up in this position with him. "Jayce! What the hell are you doing-?" "-Get away! I know what you are... you've been sent by him too, weren't you?" You let out a shriek when he swung the hammer at you, only giving you a fraction of a second to jump out of the way.
Falling onto your behind, you quickly crawled backward and away from him, tears welling up in your eyes. Your scream seemed to at least wake him up, though, as he finally lowered his weapon and blinked at you in surprise. "Fucks sake! What is wrong with you?" You yelled out, yet as fast as his face softened, it hardened again. "... Sorry... I need to leave." Quickly making his way past you, he only barely escaped your presence before you grabbed onto the fabric of his pants. "Why? Where are you going? Why can't you tell me anything?"
The look in his eyes made you shrink away. This wasn't your Jayce anymore. "... The future of everyone in Piltover hinges on me being there on time. Now, make yourself useful for once and get out of my way." Shaking you off harshly, he left you crying on the cold floor of the once lively laboratory, not once looking back.
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》SILCO
When you first met Silco, you were both still leading simple lives in the last drop with his brother and all of your other friends in Zaun. The lanes were harsh and, at times, cruel, yet you fought through the agony of it all together. Years down the line later, you find yourself still reminiscing on those heavenly days, particularly those of your lover who had turned for the worst in the time being. And the question of why you didn't listen to Vander's warnings came to mind again then. Perhaps you were just too used to excusing everything his brother did, especially after he had attempted to drown him so horrifically, which left him permanently injured.
But even so... why didn't you just listen? Why did it take so many years for you to finally throw the towel and leave for good? Finally realise that the man you loved was a monster? A disgusting and evil monster who was willing to use the plight of others for his own gain. And for what? Money? Fame? Power? It was all an ego trip you had far more than enough of. Zaun was his playground, and an escape was impossible. You'd be, however damned if you didn't at least try to anyways. Even if just in Vander's honor as a long-awaited apology.
Pushing past the crowd in the stuffy, full Last drop, you finally reached his office upstairs. Not caring about formalities anymore, you knocked and opened the door without awaiting a reply. If death met you behind it, then so be it. "Ah, darling, in a hurry today, aren't you?" "We need to talk. Alone." Short and straight to the point. Raising a brow, he shared a look with Jinx, who was just done giving him his daily "medicine". Oh, how you hated your lover's dearest creation. Shimmer. The exact thing that had ruined your lives for good. But you pushed away your disdain for the task at hand.
Giving Jinx a dismissive wave of his hand, you waited for her to be gone for good before taking a breath to speak. But Silco beat you to it. Always so painfully perceptive. "The answer is no, if you're here asking to leave. I refuse to let you go, dear. You have no one else but me after all. You wouldn't survive on your own." He always underestimated you, so this wasn't an all to surprising response. And if you were just a couple of months younger, you would have maybe agreed and backed off. But you were sick of his games.
"I didn't come here to ask for permission, Silco. I'm here to say goodbye." The slightest, softest crack at the last word gave you away horribly. You certainly didn't expect your feelings for the man to betray you, but even that won't stop you now. Said man just hummed in response as he stood up to face the window. His hands calmly lit a cigar, very much unbothered. But you knew that your sentence had gotten to him anyway with how his hand shook ever so slightly. Out of anger, most likely.
"So you think you can do whatever you want? Leave after you've spent so many years at my side? Your hands aren't as clean as you think they are, darling. Even yours are a bright violet." A reference to the shimmer vials on his desk. He knew how much you hated it, so this felt like a jab. A jab at the deep guilt you felt every day for enabling the death of all of your friends indirectly. If only you had stopped him from the start... then maybe you wouldn't have to feel the dread that ruined you from the inside anymore.
"I've accepted my flaws and sins a long time ago. I may not be better than you... but sometimes, in order to end the cycle, you have to walk away and leave some things behind." You suddenly felt so content, his cold and terrible words not reaching you anymore. You were so close to leaving. So close to leaving Zaun and Piltover like you've always dreamed. But Silco just scoffed in disbelief.
"Hah, don't give me that self-righteous shit... I've been there for you for so many years, dear. I've taken care of you, fed you, and loved you to my best ability for so long. The least you could do is be grateful for my kindness." "So you think I'm a burden?" The silence was deafening, but it was enough to confirm your long-standing suspicions. He had lost his love for you a long time ago. Perhaps the side that loved you so purely drowned in the river with him.
"... Goodbye. I hope one day you can walk away too." You turned and began walking out then, suddenly realising that it's finally over. Shoving your hands into the pocket of your coat, you felt the ticket for the skyship you had to take. "Don't you dare leave. Don't you dare it-" All bark and no bite as usual. There was no stopping you now, and he knew it. He was letting you go after all. You could just hope that one day he'd listen to your words and end the cycle, too.
What a shame that you won't be there at his side to see it, however... maybe in another life then.
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narxcisse · 2 days ago
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★ — General yandere Jason Todd headcanons
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Pairing: Yandere!Jason Todd x GN!Reader
Warning: Obsession and yandere behaviors, toxic jealousy, surveillance and control, manipulation, social isolation(?), mental health and trauma, toxic relationships
Minors DNI / English isn't my native language
Jason has a natural protective instinct that, in its yandere version, turns into an extreme need to control everything that could harm you. With his past full of trauma (death, resurrection, physical and emotional abuse), Jason is obsessed with preventing you from going through anything similar. If he perceives even the slightest threat, he will act with relentless brutality. Whether it's a stalker or a simple "friend" who is too close, Jason will not hesitate to intervene.
He doesn't follow a black-and-white moral code, but instead inhabits a grey area that reflects his own values. This means that he would justify anything to keep you "safe." In his mind, killing for you is not only permissible, but a moral obligation. He sees his extreme actions as an extension of his love and the only way to protect you in a world filled with chaos.
Jason channels his anger at the world that betrayed him, but you are his exception. Though he can be explosive and violent with others, around you his tone softens, even when he's frustrated. You're his only emotional refuge and the only thing that keeps his anger in check. If you ever challenge him directly or try to walk away, though, that gentleness can turn into a dangerous mix of pleading and veiled threat.
His obsession with protecting you leads him to constantly monitor you, even when you're not together. He has no problem installing discreet cameras or trackers. While he might seem to respect your space, he actually knows more about your movements than he would ever admit. If you discover this behavior, Jason won't deny it, but he will try to justify it with a "I don't trust them, not you."
Jason is no stranger to manipulation, especially when it comes to keeping you by his side. He knows how to use his emotional wounds to appeal to your empathy – he brings up his death or how Bruce left him behind to make you feel guilty if you ever try to distance yourself. Although his love is genuine, he doesn't hesitate to use psychological tactics to make sure you don't abandon him.
Even though he tries to remain calm, Jason is quickly consumed by jealousy. If someone else tries to get too close to you, Jason may start with snide remarks or indirect criticisms about that person, but if that doesn't work, he'll take more drastic measures. He may "accidentally" scare that person or directly confront them in secret, making it clear that they shouldn't be in your life.
He's someone who shows his affection in tangible ways: gifts, acts of service, or even physically confronting your problems. However, his approach can be overwhelming. He doesn't easily accept that you don't need his constant intervention, and any rejection of his help is taken as a sign that you don't trust him. This only fuels his obsession with proving to you that he's the only one who truly cares about you.
Despite his brutality and control, Jason has moments of incredible vulnerability. He feels at peace with you, and those moments of honesty (when he admits his fears or shares his most painful memories) show that he is not just an obsessive yandere, but a deeply wounded man who fears being abandoned again. In these moments, he can be disarmingly sweet, even begging you not to leave him.
Jason doesn't want you to distance yourself from him emotionally or physically. Under the guise of protecting you, he might push you away from friends, family, or anyone he perceives as a distraction or threat to your relationship. At first it's subtle, suggesting that certain people aren't trustworthy, but over time, he can be more direct in enforcing boundaries on who you can interact with.
Jason constantly struggles with the duality of wanting to love you fully but feeling unworthy of being loved. This fuels his need to keep you close – he fears that if you notice his flaws or sins, you will leave him. This insecurity makes him act more possessive, thinking that as long as he is in control, he won’t have to face the pain of rejection.
Jason sees you as a source of redemption. He believes that caring for and protecting you is his way of making up for all the bad things he's done. This idealism can be dangerous, as it puts you on an impossible pedestal. If you ever make a mistake or contradict that perfect image he has of you, he could feel betrayed, which could trigger even more erratic behavior.
For Jason, his love for you is eternal and absolute. No matter how many barriers stand in the way or how difficult the situation, he will never stop fighting for you, even if it means taking on his allies, Bruce, or the world itself. In his mind, you are the only person worth risking it all for.
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dennisboobs · 1 year ago
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please refer to this instead of talking to me about how serial killer dennis is plausible
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star-suh · 2 months ago
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Sea of Thieves
Bang Chan x Male Reader
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cw: pirate au, top chan, bareback, rough sex, dacryphilia, non-con/dubcon, musk kink, restraints/use of shibari (kinda), degradation, spit, cumming hands free, fingering, blowjob, rimjob, a belly bulge mention.
yn was escaping from the law, he had just become the most wanted after stealing the black pearl from the royal family. with no other way out, he boarded a ship as a stowaway, hoping that it would take him to a place far away from there, but unbeknownst to him, he had made a serious mistake. he didn't know it, but he had boarded the ship of the pirate christopher chan.
chris was known for getting what he wanted, he doesn't care if he has to kill for it, he'll do it, a player who slept with the daughters of the kings of the areas he visited and then stole their precious jewelry and had loot in gold coins. truly a motherfucker.
chris was going downstairs to secure his treasures, then, he heard a sound, he dismissed it at first thinking it was just a rat. “fucking plague” he snarls, while moving one of the big chests a tiny vase fell from the top of one and fell right over yn’s head making him emit a whimper. chris turns his head quickly to the sound “that’s not a fucking rat” he furiously stomps to where he heard the sound. pushing chests and nests aside he found a man covering his mouth, fear plastered on his face.
“the fuck you’re doing here…” he asks. yn shakes in fear, his first reflex was to throw something at the pirate and run. he climbs the stairs and when to the top of the ship just to find out it already sailed, he was now in the middle of the ocean with nowhere to escape, seeing no other way he was already to jump when something hit his head. the world around him became blurry while he fell to the wooden floor. then suddenly everything turns to black.
in a dark room with only the dim light of a candle. the sound of a slap echoed on the room accompanied with a “wake up bitch”. yn opened his eyes, confused, “where am i?”
“in my boat” someone responded. yn tried to follow the voice then his eyes met with a face, a handsome one, but he was angry. “are you one of those spies that fuckers send to steal my treasures?” he stands up, walking towards yn, each step echoed in the room as if a giant was coming near the prisoner. chris tugged on the rope that was preventing yn to move. he was suspended on the roof in a rather uncomfortable position. the rope went all the way to his neck, circling it, then going down his body with lots of knots here and there, on his wrists, torso and feet. unbeknownst to him, the pirate chris, tied him as if he was going to practice shibari.
the ropes on his ass were uncomfortable, they were positioned as if he was wearing a jockstrap, the ropes highlighting his clothed ass.
the interrogation went for almost like an hour, yn’s pleas annoyed chris but his tears were causing something to him, something hardening in his pants. at first chris ignores it thinking it was because he hasn’t slept with someone these past couple of days, maybe it was because he was alone on the ship now, right?.
the pirate tried so hard to avoid that growing burning sensation on his crotch but failed. something about yn’s flushed and helpless face, the tears sparkling due to the dim candle’s light.
“please i just want to get away from these lands” he said, “if- if you help me i can give you something in return”. the last part catching chris’ attention, “what?”. “i have something that if you help me to sell it you can buy a new ship with it.. hell even 10 ships if you want” yn quickly offers “let’s split my treasure in half, just.. just take me away from here”.
chris was dumbfounded, what was that thing that he had that would cost so much but his dick was still aching, it was begging to be freed so he added something more to the proposal, “we have a deal but.. i want something more” he moves around yn then positioning himself behind the prisoner. his fingers doing circling motions on the other’s clothed ass and then grabbing it full with his hand “let me take care of this” as he said that he rips yn’s pants, exposing his back entrance. “what the fuck” yn yells but his protests are quickly muffled by chris’ fat manly dick swinging in front of his face. the pirate undoes a knot so yn’s head hangs lower and he can take all of his dick on his mouth “put that mouth to better use. whore” chris put all his shaft inside it at once, making yn gag. he starts slowly then increased the speed. everytime he pulls down to go back and slam his junk on that wet cavity lots of saliva dripped to the floor and yn’s face. “watching you cry made something to me, so you should take full responsibility for it. be a good manwhore and swallow it all”.
“open wide” he keeps demanding, his balls slapping against yn’s face. yn obeyed and chris forced him to deepthroat him.”you’re skilled at this huh?. it makes me wonder how many dicks have you sucked before”. the pirate keeps slamming himself against the restrained man as if he was some kind of toy made just for his pleasures.
while he waits to cum on yn’s mouth he starts to spit and finger his exposed hole. his trust were sloppy now, signaling he was about to cum, in one of the his cock slipped out of yn’s mouth. the stowaway asks “what are you doing to my ass?” he was about to keep protesting but chris’ cock enters again on his mouth, he shushed him, “keep on sucking me bitch boy. i’m just preparing you for later”.
chris spat, fingered, slapped and kiss the other’s ass, it looks as if he was making out with his already puckered hole, “look how he’s winking at me. he wants me so bad” chris joked about yn clenching onto nothing but soon he would have the other’s tongue inside to clench on it.
yn wet gagging sounds filled the room, he was trying to swallow all the sperm the pirate shot inside his throat, it was a lot that he choked on it, coughing out some of the liquid. “i almost die, you bastard” once again yn’s complaints were ignored because chris was only focused on sucking his hole ‘this motherfucker is so good with his tongue’ yn thought, the anger on his face being just a facade to hide the pleasure he was receiving.
chris rearranged the rope and the knots leaving yn still suspended on air but this time his legs are wide open so the pirate can get an easy acces to his hole “time for real fun” he jokes slapping his tip on the wet hole. “don't fucking put that thing on me.. it's too big” he cried, “don't worry bitch boy” the pirate reassured in a mocking tone that didn't convince yn at all.
“let me use that used hole” he muttered, ramming all his shaft inside at once. tears formed on yn's eyes accompanied with a guttural moan “what's up bitch boy, you can’t handle me” he laughs at how pathetic yn was looking but his hole feels good so he's not gonna complain.
he put his calloused hand on yn's mouth “you're crying it's getting on my nerves” using it as a way to pound yn harder, every inch of it making its way on yn's insides. once in a while he stops thrusting to spit on his shaft as if it was a lube. the warm sensation of the spit making yn ‘feel funny’ causing that he clenches even more.
minutes later yn was free, except by his hands that were tied behind his back. he'a riding the pirate who got tired of doing all the work, “come on, move faster” he demanded slapping his hand against yn's cheeks. “hngh” he squirmed, still feeling the hand imprint burning in his ass “yes sir” he accelerated his pace. gushy sounds echoed in the room, accompanied by the crashing waves outside the ship and some moon light.
chris locked his arm around yn's neck and thrusted like a beast, forming a bulge in yn's stomach “wait. ahhh~” and as if it was a fountain yn's dick spurted cum everywhere, white drops falling on his body, the floor and even some on the walls.
“hahaha” chris laughs, amused of what he just saw “look at you cumming just by your ass. and you swear you're not a bitch”.
yn legs tremble, the tiredness and overstimulaton mix hitting him. “don't sleep on me i still have to fill you up” the pirate cooed, moving his hips slowly in a sensual manner. knowing that he could stay the rest of the night being drilled by that fat dick and seeing that he's falling asleep he decide to made him cum faster.
he grabbed chris’ neck getting his face closer towards him and kissed him, tongues battling to control each other's. meanwhile he moves his hips faster meeting chris’ thrusts that never slowed their pace, “what's gotten into yo-” he was cut by yn sloppy kisses. he was determined to make that bastard cum no matter what.
few thrusts later the pirate cums, yn’s walls sucking the milk out of it like a milking machine, “holy fuckkkk” chris slurred “you know how to work with that hole of yours”. he didn't pull out until the last drop was emptied on yn, his face resting against the stowaway's back, “shit that was good” a smile creeping on the pirate's face while yn just nodded tiredly…
yn wakes up in a bed, with new clothes, he climbs the stairs to look for the pirate, “hey bitchboy you're awake” he waved “yeah but my ass is sore. and stop calling me like that” yn replied, brows furrowed showing how annoyed he was. “tell me about the treasure” he asked with a serious tone and yn told him about the black pearl and how he got it. they planned to stay with it but knowing how dangerous it will be when everyone finds out they have it they decided to sell it and split the coins in two.
“i'm gonna reunite with my crew, see you later” chris said and turn his heels to go back to his ship, “why did you say see you later?” yn asked, being quickly responded by chris “i have a feeling that we will meet soon again” he says while doing some vulgar signs with his hands and sticking his tongue out, “you're disgusting” yn yells and chris just laughs at him showing the middle finger.
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never-afters · 2 months ago
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DEMO. (SOON)
The crowning of a jealous king one century ago spelled the doom of invokers, beings bestowed with the ability to control the essence of the world and manifest it in the surface. Out of envy that he was naught but a normal human, he ordered the capture and execution of invokers, reinforcing his power as a king. He made an enemy out of your people to secure his pride and throne.
A hundred of years passed and the slaughter only continues, a jealous ruler crowned one after another. The land of Zandria is stained with the blood of your ancestors, and it only continues to spill. You, who were once revered, admired, and loved, are now loathed, imprisoned, and executed simply for bearing the ability to manipulate aether, the essence of the land of Aeresia.
You are an invoker. Do you have what it takes to survive the wrath of a land that calls for your death? Or will you, like the ones before you, fall into the abyss?
Abyssal Depths is a dark fantasy set in the fictional world of Aeresia. It is the revamped version of my interactive fiction previously titled Invoker.
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˖⋆࿐໋₊ Who are you? Only you have the answer to that question. ˖⋆࿐໋₊ Build bonds with the people you meet. Friendship, rivalry, romance — pick your poison. ˖⋆࿐໋₊ Disguise yourself as a human, working as a mercenary for the guild Sentinel. Try your best to hide the truth from your guildmates. ˖⋆࿐໋₊ Do your job. Who knows? Maybe along the way, you'll find what you're looking for. ˖⋆࿐໋₊ Survive. Perhaps you'll live long enough to see all the mysteries unravel.
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Elfrid Basset [f] ✦ Your childhood friend and the daughter of the woman who saved you. Elfrid has always had a strong personality, always pushing you out of your comfort zone. Stubborn, impulsive, yet caring to those she cares about, there was never a time where trouble never followed her. She doesn't know your truth, but as people say, there is no secret that lasts forever.
Lucianus le Cordiér [m] ✦ An ex-noble you and Elfrid stumbled upon a year ago one night. Without the riches and reputation his family once had, Lucian brandished his skill as a swordsman and earned himself a spot as a mercenary in the same guild as you. He appears kind, gentle and open, but the air of mystery that surrounds him proves that no one truly knows who he was once.
Alcaeus Vanderbilt [m] ✦ A person from your past that you thought you will never see again. Meeting him may mean good things, but perhaps it also meant that the ghosts from your past are now catching up to you. Smart, skilled, but surrounded by walls he built to protect himself, Alcaeus won't let anyone take away anything from him again.
Amelia Vanderbilt [f] ✦ Someone from your past who lives with the guilt of surviving. Amelia has always been sickly, but despite everything she has outlived everyone else. She's still the timid and soft-spoken girl you barely saw back home, the only thing you can't believe is her unwavering trust that there is still good left in the world you're both living in.
Clair [m] ✦ A traveling bard who decided one day it will be fun to go adventuring with you and your group. He said he wants to turn your exploits into a great story, and no matter how hard you dissuade him, he never relents. Charming and cunning, that's how Clair is, and you never realized how dangerous those two qualities together were until you met him.
Salomé [f] ✦ An eccentric woman you met in the middle of your mission. Boisterous, fun, yet eccentric, it's hard not to notice her with all the rings that adorn her fingers and the scars that she flaunts like trophies. She tries to come off as someone who knows nothing, but you have the feeling that she hides something you need to know. You wonder what it could be.
Kazehara [f/m/nb] ✦ With clothes you've never seen around Zandria, Kazehara stood out like a sore thumb the first time you saw them. Framed for a murder they swear they never did, they join you in an attempt to clear their name. Sarcastic, cynical, and brash, there is never a shortage of insult from Kazehara. However, you know too well that it's merely an image they conjured to protect themselves in a land they know nothing about.
??? [f/m/nb] ✦ A figure in your dreams, blurred and ever changing. A memory of the past, a phantom of your grief, your desire for warmth — you do not know. However, the way they speak, the way they try to meet your eyes behind the fog that keeps them at bay, and the way they try to reach for you make them seem real. They feel familiar, and there exists a tug in your soul that pulls you closer to them.
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OTHERS
✦ Ask box is open! Any question is okay but there is no guarantee that your ask will be answered. Anything that are spoilery, disrespectful, and extremely explicit will be deleted. ^^ ✦ The demo for Invoker can still be accessed through google search. However, it hasn't been updated since 2021, and won't be updated anymore. ✦ This project is not my main focus as I'm a full time university student. My goal is to release the demo before 2024 ends, though. ✦ I haven't decided which platform to use for the demo yet, but rest assured that writing is as consistent as it can be despite my busy schedule. I haven't had the chance to learn how to use Twine yet, so I'm either planning to look for a collaborator who can code in Twine or stick with choicescript first until I get to learn how to use Twine. ✦ I will be posting character profiles for the ROs, though there are no set dates yet. This is to give way for a more detailed description for their personality and physical appearance.
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sanguineterrain · 2 months ago
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a bloody vow | jason todd
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Summary: After the racy encounter with your knight, you seem to lose all progress made in your relationship. You hardly talk, and you're lonelier than ever. But after a house break-in has you running to Jason for help, you're forced to face each other, blood and all.
Pairing: knight!Jason Todd x gn!reader 
Word count: 2.3k
Warnings/tags: violence! Jason kills a man. reader and jason's house is broken into and the thief attacks the reader (but they're okay.) mentions of self-flagellation, religious guilt. reader feels very lonely without their big strong knight :( the eroticism of killing for another person. codependence. partial nudity. probably not the healthiest relationship but whatevs. Jason would do anything for them what more could you want?
the divider
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Everything's changed since the morning that you found Jason with the whip.
He won't even eat with you anymore.
He accepts whatever you make and thanks you quietly, then eats his supper in the shed. He didn’t say much before—now you're lucky if you get more than a word from him.
He's also taken to punishing himself regularly. Jason does it far away, so he won't wake you. But you've seen his back and the welts peeking beneath his tunic and the spots of blood. You also see fresh injuries from his training, injuries that could be avoided if he was more careful. You've tried to offer him a salve to heal his back. He always refuses, flinching like a kicked dog if you get too close.
You fear that you'd pushed Jason too far that morning. You replay it in your mind, wondering what exactly had possessed you to act in such a vulgar manner. Exposing yourself to him like that after spying on him earlier—what were you thinking?
You weren't, is the truth. It seems all rational thought leaves your brain when you're around him.
It's truly like living with a ghost. Your feelings are jumbled, caught in a maelstrom of guilt and fear and desire. More than anything, you're unbearably lonely. You'd feared a harsh hand when you first were deposited into Jason's bed. You never imagined that there could be a worse fate than being wanted: being ignored.
So, it's been three weeks of this new routine. Jason has been disappearing at night to the pub. Not that he told you that—you know this because of the incessant gossip that flies around the market. It's not hard to decipher who the 'hulking knight' is when people stare at you.
You try not to think about what Jason gets up to. You really have no right to be angry if he finds someone to warm his bed. You're lucky he hasn't thrown you into the sea after your insolence.
Routine is all that keeps you sane. You do the washing and cooking without complaint. Jason still leaves you money to go to the market, and sometimes you save a couple of coins to buy books. You keep the books under a floorboard in your room. He never asks you for change.
You don't know if this routine will be enough, though. You wish Jason would just throw you out and be done with it. You're certainly not performing the duties that the king expected of you when he brought you here. Jason can hardly look at you, much less touch you.
You eat alone tonight. By the time you wash up and are ready for bed, it's late. Jason still isn't home.
Not unusual these days. You get into bed and blow out the candle. Maybe you won't wake in the morning. Then you'll both be free.
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A crash jerks you out of slumber.
You're awake immediately, fumbling under your bed for the small dagger you'd secretly purchased when you first came.
Your first thought is that Jason came home drunk. But if he’s come home drunk in the past, you've never heard him, and it's always as quiet in the morning as it was the night before.
A chilling second thought hits you as the floor creaks outside your door.
Someone's broken in.
You quietly get to your feet, dagger in hand. If Jason were home, he would be here already, dealing with the problem. As it is, you're alone and completely vulnerable without your knight.
Your door splinters open. You stumble backwards.
"Wha' have we here?" A lantern shines in your face. "Look a' this. Pretty thing like you shouldn't be left alone."
You bolt for the front door.
“Oh, no no, you don’t.”
The intruder darts after you and stops you before you can open the door. He hauls you backwards and throws you against the dying fireplace. You land on your ribs and the wind is knocked out of you.
"Too big of a house for a little mouse like you,” the man says with a greasy sneer. 
You turn and lunge at him. You catch him off guard enough to stab his shoulder with the dagger. He howls in pain and shoves you off. Your head hits the wall, and for a moment, you fear you’ll vomit. But you don’t, so you stand.
"You bitch!" he shouts. "I'll fuckin' kill ya for that!"
That's all the motivation you need to run.
You’re aching all over, head pounding. Your legs are cold, being that you're only in a nightgown. You might be bleeding. But you keep running.
You run all the way into town, which feels like miles at this time of night, bruised as you are. It’s easy to find the pub, and it doesn’t even occur to you that you’re not allowed inside. All that’s on your mind is Jason. Find Jason.
You pound your fists on the door of the pub, crying.
"Jason, Jason!" you shout. “Help me, please! Please!”
The door opens. You stumble in, almost tripping on the uneven wood. Men stare at you as you enter.
"Jason!" you yell.
A knight you don't recognize stares down at you, blocking your path. You stumble back, grabbing the wall for support.
"Out," he snarls. 
"Please," you beg. "Please, I need my husb—"
He's shoved aside suddenly, ale sloshing over his mug. He growls in protest, but someone drags him away by the back of his tunic. 
Relief floods you at the familiar face who takes his place. Jason.
He's obviously shocked to see you here, eyes roving over you. His shirt is unbuttoned, a thin fresh cut on his cheek. He says your name. Every inhibition you’ve felt over the last month disappears.
"What—"
You throw yourself into his arms, weeping. Jason catches you, cradling the back of your head. You're surrounded by him, the rest of the world blocked out. He smells like the strong yellow soap you make in large chunks because it’s cheaper than purchasing it at the market. He smells like the home you share.
"What is it? Where do you hurt?" he asks quietly, shielding you from all the pairs of eyes. He rubs your back, bent over you. You cling to his neck, shaking with the memory of tonight.
"A man b-broke in," you say, and Jason's grip tightens. "He said–he said he w-would...k-kill…"
You trail off. Jason pets you, breathing even on your neck.
You know that you hardly have any rights, that the men here would sooner see you die than step into danger for you. Perhaps that includes Jason too. Perhaps it's too late. 
"I understand," Jason says into your ear. He doesn’t waver despite how you tremble. "It's alright. I won't let him hurt you again. I'm... I'm so sorry for leaving you alone."
He exhales, long and slow. You feel him begin to pull away. You panic, digging your nails into his arms. Jason quickly soothes you. He doesn’t chastise you for clawing him. 
"It’s alright. I'm going to handle this, and then we'll go home," he says. "Roy."
A redheaded knight approaches. You slowly turn your head. He smiles gently at you.
"Your Highness," he says, bowing deeply, and you feel a little lighter.
"Roy's going to take you home while I handle the thief," Jason says. "I promise that I'll be fast, alright?"
"You promise you won't leave?" you ask. “You’ll come home right away?”
Jason takes your hand, stroking your knuckles. "I swear. May God strike me down if I don't return."
“Oi, man, get your little harlot out of—”
Jason stands, rising and towering over the angry drunk. He’s immediately cowed under Jason’s gaze.
“Watch your mouth,” Jason says, even and deadly. The man leaves in a huff.
"I'm sorry for causing trouble," you whisper, cheeks still wet.
"You haven't," is all he says, before leading you outside.
You have an audience, which is absolutely humiliating, but neither Jason nor Roy pays them any mind, so you don’t either. 
Roy helps you onto his horse, and in the time that that takes, Jason is already headed back to the house by the time you and Roy start off. You realize then that you trust Jason. You've never met this Sir Roy in your life—Jason's never even mentioned having friends. But you trust that you will get home safely. 
“Jason won’t let him get away,” Roy says. You believe him.
The ride is short. You don’t know if you’ll manage to go back to sleep without Jason there, but the least you can do is host Roy, perhaps. You’re bone-tired, but you ought to be hospitable, shouldn’t you?
But as you get closer to the cottage, you hear voices in the woods. Jason’s horse is out front. You dismount without Roy's help and take off running. He calls after you. You ignore him.
You don't go through the house, not ready to face the destruction your intruder left in his wake. Instead, you go around and follow the stream into the woods. The voices get louder. When you get to the clearing by the shed, you stop.
The lantern has been knocked onto its side, flames flickering. But you can very clearly make out Jason in the dark. His shadow cuts a frightening figure that dances across the trees. Moonlight flickers through the canopy, illuminating him and the other figure. Your attacker.
Your attacker, who’s discovering that he picked the wrong house to rob.
Jason's got him pressed against a tree. Blood drips from the man's head and face. You stay a few yards away, behind a tree. The bark dully bites into your hand. You’re torn on whether you should make yourself known or not. Stop this or not.
"You touched them," Jason says, and does something with his sword that draws out a strangled groan from the attacker. The metal shines with fresh blood.
"I am worse than you," he continues. "I lost sight of my duty. My reason for living. Everything I do is for the star-crossed beauty my king captured for me. It's all I can do to pay penance for my sins. And you come into my house and dare to lay a hand on what is mine?"
The breath leaves you in a punch. You're cold with sweat, but something tugs at your gut. Something frightening. Something that tells you to stay hidden.
"I am worse," Jason says. "Because a good man would show you mercy and let you be hanged for your crimes."
"That fuckin' bitch deserved it," the intruder spits.
Here, Jason loses his composure. Here, he twists his sword.
"I will tear you apart," he says, voice a snarl.
And Jason does exactly that. It's bloody and gory. You feel sick a few times. You can't see everything in the fractured light, but you can hear it all. Bones crack, the man screams, but Jason doesn't relent. He drives his sword deeper and deeper. Blood gurgles from the attacker's mouth.
You watch on, feeling quite like you had the day you saw Jason fucking his fist.
The body drops with a thud as Jason lets him go. You imagine a sword slick with blood. You imagine Jason covered in it.
The realization is dizzying. You are an executioner, and Jason is your axe.
You don't know what you're more horrified by: the fact that it took you this long to look away or that you don't mind the stench of fresh blood.
Jason takes two steps and picks up the lantern. He sees you. He stops.
"He's dead," you say dumbly.
Jason swallows, face otherwise blank. "You... you were not meant to see that."
"I didn't." But you did.
He knows you did.
"Roy should've taken you inside," Jason says.
You can't understand why shame draws the lines of his shoulders. 
"I didn't want to go inside," you say. "Not without you."
Jason inhales sharply. Then he looks away. "I shouldn't have... I pray that you'll forgive me, but I understand if you don't."
Jason is covered in more than a little blood. Red spatters his cheek, though it looks black in the shadows.
He's slick with blood. You wonder if he'll bathe in the river. If you might help him.
You step forward. Jason is still. He watches you steadily as you approach.
You pull down the sleeve of your nightgown and reach for Jason's face. He flinches. You hush him.
"It's alright," you whisper.
He lets you touch his cheek. His eyelids flutter as you wipe the blood from his face. Then you hold his cheeks with both hands. Jason shudders.
"You can touch me," you say.
Immediately, Jason shakes his head, hands curling into fists at his side.
"No. I'm unclean. You shouldn’t touch me either, you’ll—you’re—”
"I don't mind." Your thumbs trace the contours of his face for a moment, feeling the hard line of his nose, the curve of his jaw, his full bottom lip. He lets you, eyes locked on yours.
Then, you pull up your nightgown, revealing your bare thighs, your underwear, your belly. Jason’s chest heaves. He immediately looks away. But you’re quick. You guide Jason's hand with your other hand. He stains your flesh with blood. You picture the sticky, bloody handprint he'll leave on your waist. That frightening feeling returns. 
Jason's hand is hot on your skin. He exhales shakily. 
"I'm sorry," he says again, cupping your waist. His fingers gently knead your skin as if he's testing if you're real. It tickles, but you don't move, fearing Jason will pull away at the slightest jerk.
"Don't sleep in the shed anymore," you say.
"Alright."
"Eat supper with me."
"Okay."
You draw Jason closer. Blood smears your clothed chest. His thighs warm your exposed legs. You will not let him punish himself in the morning. You will sleep on his chest if that’s what it takes. Only you are allowed to draw blood from him. 
"Are you mine?" you ask.
Jason's answer is instant.
"Yes."
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essenteez · 4 months ago
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𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐃 || 𝑱𝒐𝒏𝒈𝒉𝒐 𝑽𝒂𝒎𝒑𝒊𝒓𝒆
"Such fragile little thing, you are. Yet you managed to enslave me, the death itself."
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“I won’t be gentle. I can't.” He warns, breaking away from the dazing kiss. "I waited a whole year. Twelve, long months. Over three hundred, fucking days controlling myself and keeping my hands to myself. No more."
𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: A year passed after you were ostracized by everyone for being a fallen woman. You get the news of a tragic murder of your former fiancé, because of whom you were left with no family and friends. You feel no compassion, but pure joy. Now, you can let go of the past and focus on Jongho, a mysterious lord who saved you from a certain demise and took care of you. You're now ready to embrace your new life fully and the dark secret of your savior.
𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: vampire jongho x f!reader
𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: smut, horror
𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit language, unprotected sex, thigh riding, inexperienced reader, fingering (f!recieving), rough sex, oral (f!recieving), creampie, overstimulation, blood mention, mention of revange murder, a little horror.
𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐬: 6.6k
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London, September 3rd, 1832, Monday.
11.25 PM.
Today is the first death anniversary of the old you. The old you who was disowned by your family, pushed away by your entourage, betrayed by the man you trusted the most. The person that you once wanted to spend your life with - your fiancé, who was found dead yesterday.
Do you feel grief? Of course not. Are you sad? He wishes you were. Although you have to admit that if ever, any wish of death for him had crossed your mind, it was never that brutal.
The headlines of today’s morning newspaper mention a dismembered body, completely drained of all blood. Shreds of your former fiancé were discovered somewhere in one of Oxford's slums. The incident probably makes people sick to their stomach, but your guts are fine. You only felt disgust while reading those lies about what a wonderful son and noble man he was, and what a loss to his parents and the country. It does hurt to see that no one knows what monster he truly was. Well, it is not your problem anymore. Actually, you could thank him for the chance he gave you to have a better life.
Much better life with your new protector. Your new world. Lord Choi Jongho.
However, the news has ruined your day. You have been feeling restless all day, missing him with all your being. You have barely touched any food or left your room. You also told your maids to not disturb you, letting them in only to prepare you a hot bath. He has not left your thoughts even for a second today, leaving you hoping he comes back as soon as possible.
A heavy sigh leaves your lips as you put on your white night dress. There is a little aching in your muscles from the lack of entertainment since morning. It makes you groan when you decide to massage your neck. The hot bath helped you feel a little better, so you are grateful to your lovely maids.
Phlegmatically, you start brushing your long locks when the rain outside suddenly grows stronger, now pelting at your window. At first you ignore it but the sound of a quiet thunder makes you turn your face towards the window. Lighting flashes on your face as you strongly pull the heavy blinds to one side, another roar of the storm follows after a few seconds.
"Perfect." You mumble, blinking quickly after the sudden flash of light manages to blind you. The weather only worsens your mood. You hate storms with a burning passion. It also reminds you of him as he always accompanies you when the brutal weather does not let you feel relaxed. But he’s not here right now.
You flinch at a sudden knocking on your door. In the manor you grew up in, you could hear someone approaching your room from meters away, because of the floor creaking. The floor here also isn't quiet, but somehow you never hear the maids, or Jongho coming.
You clear your throat before calling. "Come in!"
You let go of the blinds, reaching for the brush to resume combing your hair, as a short, skinny girl slides inside your bedroom, curtseying before you.
"My lady."
"What is it, Annabelle?” You ask dispassionately but still trying to make your tone sound kind. "I told you and Sybil to leave me alone, didn't I?"
"Yes, my lady, you certainly did. But you also ordered earlier that we inform you about the lord's whereabouts. I come to announce my lord's arrival back to the mansion. He is asking if you would like to join him for a glass of wine before going to bed.” She continues, her pretty face smiling from ear to ear, knowing well she brings good news to you. “The heavy storm is getting closer, so my lord also thought you would feel better if you had company until it calms down."
You stand up rapidly, almost dropping the brush on the ground as you turn to the maid. You can't hide your excitement. He finally came back. Thank God. He left a week ago and everyday was like torture for you. After hearing today's news, you have craved his presence more than ever.
"Alas-" You shout excitedly, quickly realizing how loud it sounded. "I mean... Yes, I would like to join Lord Choi for a glass of wine."
“My lord foresaw that answer.” Annabelle smiles at you, being vividly happy to see your mood change. "He will be waiting for you in ten minutes in the main saloon.”
When she sees your nod at her announcement, she curtseys again before leaving you. "My lady"
The moment the maid closes the door behind her, you run to your vanity. Your hair is already brushed but you notice how gray your skin looks. Still, not as gray as Annabelle or Sybil's, but the whole day of boredom and overthinking indeed seemed to exhaust you. Despite the lack of life on your face, your eyes start to shine with a familiar glow. A glow only he can awake in you. You bite your lips and pinch your cheeks to bring some blood to your face.
At the finish, you slide on a red, silk robe on. His favorite color as he once mentioned.
You already got used to the prevailing rules in this house; no lady and lord calling between you two, no severe etiquette. It was like stepping into a different world. It didn’t take you long to adapt since you hate hierarchy like that. You enjoy life now. If your mother only knew you were walking around in a thin night dress under a robe in the house of a man that you are not related to, she would surely faint. You couldn't care less though.
You no longer have a mother or family. All you have is him.
After ten minutes, you walk down the wide, winding stairs. It is pretty dark as the candles are unable to illuminate such a large, dark space. Fortunately, after a year of living here you already know every inch by heart.
The storm is getting closer with every second now. A glare of a lightning, soon followed by thunder, illuminates the whole mansion making you jump in fear.
While reaching the ground floor you notice a warm, weak light at the end of the main hall which makes you smile subconsciously. The light is leading you to the main saloon where he is supposedly waiting for you.
Your eyes go to him the same moment you enter the room. He is standing with his back facing you, looking at the unraveling storm outside the tall window. His palms are clasped behind his back as he faces the thunders, not bothered by the noise. Jongho is an embodiment of the peace you have craved for all week.
He is here. You do not want to think about what would've happened to you if he didn't find you back then, a year ago.
After your disappointed parents threw you out of your family house, you were wandering the misty streets of Oxford, completely soaked from pouring rain. Your fiancé's grand plan to ruin your family's reputation was a success. Deceived by his promises of mad love, you gave yourself to him before the wedding. And he used it to accuse you of betrayal with some non-existent man. With no way to prove your innocence, you were ostracized and your family immediately cut you off to save the last shreds of dignity. All that to take revenge on your father for some old grudge his family had against yours.
You were miserable, you had given up with no place to go. Since news about the lewd Lady (y/l/n) spread quickly, people passing you by looked at you with disgust on their face.
But suddenly someone stopped in front of you, putting their black umbrella above your head. A mysterious lord. His deep, black eyes and gentle smile helped you survive. Since you had nothing to lose and you needed to vent your pain, you didn't care if it was a stranger listening.
There was something about him that made you tell him your story. You were certain that he would act just like everyone else, but he didn’t. He took care of you, he listened. You could see the anger in his eyes when you uncovered the ugly truth about how you were treated.
Then, Jongho took you to London, gave you a new last name, a new life, far away from those rumors and hateful looks. You could finish your education and do more things than any other woman in England could. Just when you thought you would never trust anyone, there he was.
"Are you going to stare at me like that all night?" His gentle, amused voice interrupted you, drowning in your memories. You straighten your back at his words and gulp softly. A heat burns your cheeks at your own carelessness.
"Forgive me. I did not want to disturb you watching the storm. I know you love this type of..." You gasp quietly as he slowly turns and looks at you with that mysterious gaze that you know so well. After a year you still can't read him which was drawing you to him even more. “...weather.”
His raven black, tidy hair contrasts perfectly with his white colored blouse. A ruby brioche at his neck that shines with red glow.
Sudden lighting illuminates him entirely from behind, showing you the outlines of his perfect body underneath the shirt. His broad shoulders make you breathe faster. It is safe to say Jongho is the most beautiful man your eyes have ever seen.
Graceful in every movement. Eloquent with every word he says. So intimidating, which always makes you blush and loudly swallow. But he is also kind, with a one of a kind sense of humor. Each of your new London friends thinks he is none other than your distant cousin. And they all find him pretty scary but witheringly attractive.
"I have heard that you have not eaten anything today and that you did not leave your room until now.” A sudden change of his tone disturbs your inappropriate thoughts.
You drop your gaze to your feet.
"I presume birds brought you the news." You threw a look at Annabelle and Sybil, who are now preparing two glasses and a bottle of wine at the table. They are avoiding your eyes, feeling uncomfortable with your sharp gaze on them. You only reassure yourself in the conviction that the telegram you saw Sybil writing this morning was indeed for him.
"They really worry about you, (y/n). Especially Annabelle. I tried my best to come home as soon as I could after seeing the news." He lowers his head a little, vividly curious about your reaction.
You feel butterflies form in your stomach, hearing he rushed as fast as he could to you. You look at him with a gentle smile, thanking him.
Lighting flashes again, bringing loud thunder with it as he asks.
"Do you, perhaps, feel saddened?"
Your smile disappears. You look each other in the eyes for a longer second until you break eye contact so he doesn't see what your mind is full of right now. You start moving towards the black wooden table after the girls left you both alone. You pour wine into both glasses.
"No." You smile, licking your lips before taking a big sip of a red liquid.
Jongho observes your every move, visibly surprised with your tone.
"Do you think I should?”
"I do not think he deserves any compassion from you.” He moves closer, not taking his eyes off of you.
"Does it make me an evil person?” You ask, taking another sip of the alcohol. Your tolerance isn’t strong, so you already feel the wine messing with your head. Or maybe it is the effect of his simple existence.
"If all evil people were as evil as you, the world would be a paradise.” He halts right behind you, hoping you won't run away as you always have.
"Paradise…” You echo, surprised and amused at the same time. “I don’t think so. I'm stained after all. Sex before marriage is a big sin. My future lies in a convent anyway.”
You put the wineglass to your lips emptying the glass.
"Future and convent in one sentence.” He chuckles, standing dangerously close to you. “That’s new.”
"Well..." You start slowly, trying so hard to control your breathing. "I've been actually thinking about it. One day I will have to leave this place and since I'm a fallen woman, there is no chance for me to become what I was meant to become - a good wife and one day, a mother. England has no use of me. Convent is my only option, don't you think? You don’t want me to ruin your reputation."
"Can't you tell I don't really care about my reputation, darling?" His lips are right beside your ear, sending shivers down your heated body. "But if people finding out your true identity bothers you so much, we will move to another place. We can do it even tonight. France, Italy, Spain, China. We can leave here and now and be whoever we want to be. In France, I can be your cousin. In Italy, I can be my fiancé and in China... your husband?"
Each word recited with his hot breath teases the skin of your neck, his hard member boldly pressed against your back. When Jongho hears your soft gasp, he grabs your hips, spinning you around to face him.
You stare into his deep eyes, full with a growing fire. You can't help but breathe faster, feeling his body glued to yours. He, noticing that, smirks at you.
"You're not a fallen woman, (y/n). You're a free woman. Can I finally prove that to you?"
You don’t even have a chance to say anything before his long fingers entangle around the back of your neck, bringing you closer so your lips can finally meet. You are surprised at the suddenness and force, but you quickly adjust, equally as hungry. That kiss is long overdue.
The storm gains strength above the mansion, but all you can hear is your pounding heart and both your heated breaths.
You can't help but moan into the kiss you have dreamt of for so long. He pushes you back onto the table behind you, kissing you so passionately that you forget whose air you are breathing His knee suddenly thrusts between your thighs, stopping them from rubbing against each other.
Whimpering at the action, you grab his waist to not lose balance. Moans begin leaving your previously abused mouth, as he’s now mercilessly attacking your neck. The cotton fabric of his pants was rubbing against your core. With every move, Jongho deepens the intensity of his leg between your trembling thighs. You mewl in delight as he pulls you closer to his chest.
"Move your hips for me, darling. The same way you move them so seductively with the pillow between your legs at night when you're all alone." He groans into your ear, sucking on your earlobe.
You slightly open your eyes at his words. How does he know? You always try your best to be quiet and leave no traces of your moments of weakness. Did he hear you, see you?
The thought Jongho might've listened to your quiet whimpers or that he peeked inside while your neediness made you lower your guard adds another wave of arousal to your already weeping pussy.
"Ride my thigh. I want your essence all over my thigh.” He purrs.
You follow the command without hesitation, desperate for more friction. You feel the tension building up in your body as you are grinding at his thigh muscles. He bites his lower lip, watching how you repeat the dance of your hips from all the previous nights when you were pleasuring yourself and he fought hell to not storm in your bedchamber and ravage you sweet holes.
“Yes, just like that.” His groans have you trembling. With an impatient move he pulls your night dress up. “I fantasized about it way too many times. Ride it, darling.”
Jongho pins you even harder to the table, moving fast in an opposite direction which causes your mouth to let out silent moans and loud gasps. His hand never leaves your neck, only tightening the grasp to keep you where he wants to have you. The other impatient arm wraps around your waist to secure you from falling back onto the table.
"Cum as hard as you need, as loud as you want. No one will judge you here.” His burning eyes are now studying your face contorted with immense pleasure and desperation for release. Your eyes closed as you're indulging in the sensation.
"Look at me." He commands from behind his teeth. "I want you to look at me when you fall apart."
You half-open your eyes, but you can barely see him through your hazy sight. You are so close to the edge that the motion of your hips starts to become sloppy and uneven.
Lightning keeps flashing inside the room, and the walls shudder from the thunder that comes with the light.
And then you see it. A moment when two worlds meet. You swear you saw black voids for eyes staring right at you for a short second. You smile, happy that all your suspicions were true.
It finally showed up. Jongho's truth.
Even though the vision is gone, and you are looking Jongho's chocolate pupils again, you know it all now.
You have a creature of the night in front of you, with his thigh rubbing between your legs, making you see the stars. The view of his face watching you intensively with those lustful eyes and his clenching jaw is enough to bring you to your high fast, right on the edge.
"Jongho.. I…" You whine loudly as he pulls you as close to his body as possible, sliding his thigh back and forth.
“Yes, darling. Say my name.” He breathes out, before sucking on your neck’s pulsepoint.
Your eyes roll in the back of your head, as the bliss explodes within you. The waves of your overpowering heat hit one after another. You feel the strength leaving your body as the spasms slowly begin to fade. You give up completely, falling into his strong embrace.
Jongho slows down, peacefully rub the last ounces of high out of you while pressing you against his strong chest.
"You sing so sweetly from pleasure.” He whispers into your neck. "I want to hear it over and over again."
Pulling his thigh from underneath you, Jongho hisses in satisfaction at all the juices covering his pants. In gratitude, he reaches for your lips. He pampers your mouth with his eager kiss, his own tongue flicking over the soft flesh, gently caressing the sweet taste of you.
You're too enchanted by his perfect kiss to register that he begins to gently strip you of your robe. Your nightgown gets quickly unbuttoned by his skillful fingers and ends up on the floor in no time. Reluctantly, he breaks the kiss to sit you up onto the table. The coldness of the surface causes you to recover a bit from your high.
"Look at your painting, (y/n)." He looks down at his left thigh. You completely soaked it. Your face heats up. Your juices glistening in the pale candle light, and a series of lightning strikes.
He steals another kiss, finding your embarrassment cute.
"I want the same on my tongue."
Your eyes grow bigger. What does he mean? You have to admit you still have zero experience but tongue? Down there?
"What are you doing?” You panic, still panting as he spreads your quivering legs wider, kneeling between them.
"He never did it for you?" He asks, looking up at you in surprise.
"Umm, no." You can't focus due to his hot breath blowing at your puffy folds. His laugh caused by your answer only adds new waves of sensation. You lick your lips feeling their dryness caused by your excitement. Seeing his handsome face framed by your thighs, it stirs something inside you.
"Please." You whimper quietly.
"Since you're asking so nicely. I could never say no to you.” He teases, raising his brow at your shamelessness. He's visibly satisfied with your sudden change.
You don't mean to beg, you really don't. But every bit of your control goes out the window. Your body is speaking up for you, while your common sense and shame are locked up somewhere deep down.
His wet, lazy kisses make invisible marks on your inner thigh, preparing for the act. The sight, the feeling of him licking and sucking on your skin, cleaning you up from the previous release make you want to go insane. The sounds he makes while doing it, like he's tasting heaven, doesn’t help.
Jonghi lifts your legs, laying them over his shoulders for better access, causing you to fall back a little and support yourself with your hands behind.
He graces your clit with small kisses, receiving little whimpers from you. He smiles against your core before attacking your folds aggressively.
"Oh-"
There was no time for any proper reaction. Every muscle in your body tense up from the circling motions of his tongue. He runs it through your lower lips, pulling and sucking on them with a popping sound. You feel the heat quickly spreading through your whole body from the spot where he had been pleasing you.
“Fuuuck.” He mumbles with his mouth full of you. With his tongue he delves in your entrance, his brows frowning as he can't contain his arousal from the way you taste so good.
“Jongho…” You’re bewitched by the view of his restless mouth, feeding on your needy cunt. This feeling is new with the level of intimacy you have never reached before. You feel lewd, seen, absolutely scandalous. And you love it. All of it. Your hip begins to move to his rhythm, craving for more.
“Pass me the glass." He says suddenly, parting from your throbbing pussy, causing you to groan in disappointment. "Behind you, darling.”
You looked over your shoulder to see your empty glass and the glass with the wine he hasn't drunk yet.
Seeing your confusion, he chuckles, “The full one.”
You carefully hand him the liquor, sure that he wants to quench his thirst. But that is not his plan. He is going to quench his thirst but not with wine.
Out of nowhere he raises the glass in your direction and starts carefully pouring the wine down your chest.
You gasp, stunned, trying not to move and disturb him. You are just looking down at him, completely focused on the red streams that were slowly flowing between your breast, down your stomach and to your womanhood.
His tongue revisiting your pussy, nimbly licking off the wine.
"Oh my…" You moan loudly, as he starts drinking the liquor off your folds.
Satisfied with how the wine easily flows down its path, Jongho begins to pour more, creating a bigger and faster river that he messily slurps along with your juices until the glass is empty.
You can't keep yourself up any longer. Your hands give up on you causing you to fall back onto the table. The pleasure is overwhelming, making your back arch. Although your sight is hazy, you want to see him again, down there, devouring you like it was his last meal. The room is beginning to dim as the candles are on their last burn. Lighting was the only source of light now.
"J-Jongho!" You call to him among your loud moans.
Then you see it again, two black voids fixated on your face. The sight of Jongho's true side that he apparently can't control whilst being filled with lust, gives you greater satisfaction. He sharply throws the glass aside, shattering it on the wall. Then, he wraps his arms behind your thighs, pinning you down to the table. His tongue quickens, flicking across your clit making you see white.
"Jong- Oh!” You slip as a strong orgasm crashes over you, twisting your body with unimaginable pleasure. Your hands grab both sides of the table, feeling your warmth flooding on Jongho's tongue and lips. He sucks on your clit, bringing every last bit of your orgasm out of you and taking his time to clean your pussy of your essence and the rest of the wine.
"Mmmm. You taste too sweet. Too delicious for the covent." He coos, his voice heavy with arousal. He starts tracing his way back up your body with his tongue, slowly following the trails of sticky wine, ending it with hungry kisses all over your neck and jaw.
"So?" He asks as his face aligned with yours. You dare to look into his eyes as he hovers over you.
"So?" You repeat, out of breath.
"Are you feeling free yet?" He smirks with a sinful spark in his eyes.
You know exactly what he's asking about.
You return the smile, "Not yet."
With these words he straightens up and rips open his wine stained blouse, throwing its shreds on the floor. The ruby brooch clatters somewhere on the wooden panels.
You cannot take your eyes off his perfect body. You fantasized about it so many times but it's still more than you could ever imagine.
"Like what you see?" He asks, amused by your awe. He begins to unbelt, then takes off his black pants that were soaked with your cum. “Cause I like my view very much."
You wish to sit up but Jongho stops you, climbing on the table hovering over your body. His enormous frame towering over you makes you feel so small and vulnerable.
He leans down and kisses you incredibly slowly, you melt over the taste of his, yours and the wine that linger on his lips. You feel it with the deepest, darkest corners of your soul, returning the affection with quiet moans. You are his, from the first sight. Maybe it is an illness of falling in love with your savior or maybe it is real. You don't care. You stopped caring about details a long time ago.
"What happened, (y/n)?” He breaks the kiss, pressing his forehead against yours. “You resisted me for so long and today you serve yourself on a golden platter."
You smile and flick your tongue on his lips.
“You killed him for me” You moan out, feeling his warm cock, throbbing against your abdomen. “Didn’t you?”
He pulls himself up, taken aback at your words. His dark eyes study your face, searching for any sign of fear or doubts. But he finds none of it.
“(Y/n), I…?”
“I know everything, Jongho. I’ve known for some time now.” You explain, almost moaning out every word. You’re squirming with neediness underneath him.
You heard Sybil tell the postman to take the telegram to Jongho. To Oxford. You connected everything in an instant. You couldn't help but imagine him covered in your fiancé's blood which made you go insane with lust.
“I’m all yours to take.” You declare.
With every word leaving your mouth his eyes are getting darker. It is his dream come true. You, accepting what he is and what he is able to do for you.
He claims your quivering lips once more. Wrapping your arms around his neck and shoulders you let his tongue penetrate your mouth, wrestling with yours while his length found its way to your pussy, rubbing on your dripping folds.
“I won’t be gentle. I can't.” He warns, breaking away from the dazing kiss. "I waited a whole year. Twelve, long months. Over three hundred, fucking days of controlling myself and keeping my hands to myself. No more."
"Take as much as you need. As rough as you want." You say, giving him the allowance, using your version of his own words. You want him to fuck you into that wooden table. "Just take me, Jongho."
Leaning down to your neck, he draws a long breath, inhaling your scent that turned his life upside down the moment he sensed it for the first time. He remembers vividly how you passed him by on one of the streets in Oxford. Despite the crowd, your scent was like vines, climbing up his legs and making them follow after you. As any vampire would, he craved to feed on you. The initial plan was to take you away, seduce you so he could sink his fangs anytime he felt thirsty. But then he heard your story. And to his own surprise, he didn't want to take advantage of it. He wanted to protect you, punish people who had hurt you and keep you under his wings. He dared to dream of having you near until the end of time.
“So delicate.” He hums against your neck and ear. “So fragile, so… human. Yet, your sweet blood has never tempted me to taste it. I want to make it burn your veins with lust, need and love. I want to smell it racing as I kiss you, touch you. I want to hear it pulsating in your thighs while I eat your precious pussy out for hours. I want to listen to it beat in your heart that I want to protect. I will never let a drop of it to shed. I swear it to you.”
You suck in a soft breath at his declaration. You are left speechless as he kisses your pulsepoint as a seal to his words.
Both don't speak as your faces align. Jongho holds your gaze as he starts kissing his way down the valley between your breasts. He places a sweet kiss on the left side of your chest to feel your heartbeat under his lips.
You tangle your fingers into his silky hair and gently tug on it. A breathy moan is ripped from your chords as he begins sucking on your nipple, while the other gets captured between his thumb and index finger. He keeps your gaze as he flicks his tongue on your bud.
Grabbing fistfulls of your bosoms, he scoops both and engulfs them with his mouth, sucking and pulling them. His hard cock keeps grinding against your leaking slit.
“Jongho… please.” You whine, feeling like overheating. “Ease this fire.”
At your plea, he lets go of your breasts with a pop sound. The vampire rises up, finally blessing you with all his grace. His impressive size makes you gasp, having your wetness increase instantly. He's so erect you see every little vein decorating his manhood. The tip glistens with precum that you get a sudden urge to taste, your tongue ghosts your dry lips.
Jongho spreads your trembling legs wider, placing them on his hips. The feeling of his hot skin and hardened muscles on your inner thighs causes your core throb with anticipation.
"You want to be fucked by a monster so bad, don’t you?" He taunts with a sinister smirk, guiding his length up and down your folds, spreading your wetness all over his tip. Your whimpers drive him to groan. He takes his time to prepare your pussy for sweet abuse.
"Jongho, please.” You can't take it anymore, but he seems to enjoy the torture. "Fallen or free, just take me."
These words work on him like magic. You hear his dangerous giggle before he grabs the flesh of your hips with his big, hungry hands and slams himself inside you.
You squeal at the sudden stretch of your tight walls and put your hands on his wrists. You haven't had a man inside you for a whole year. Not to mention, you never had someone that big.
Although he warned you about not being gentle with you, you still are not prepared for the power he starts to penetrate you with. He pounds into you hard without any mercy on your poor body and soul. He has all the control over your hips, pulling them and impaling you on his pulsating cock.
"Oo-h l-ord!” You cry out with pleasure.
"So tight, yes. " He growls out, instantly satisfied. “Ah, you're going to make me come quickly, love of mine.”
He slows down after a few more hard thrusts, lowering himself to hover over you again.
You are loudly gasping for air. It's difficult to breathe due to his previous enormous force. His cock, now torturing your insides with a painfully slow pace.
"That's exactly how I imagined you looking underneath me, darling. So tiny and defenseless. Entirely mine." He whispers, licking a long wet strip between your breast, bringing it up to your jaw.
You arch your back, tangling your fingers in his raven hair again.
He laughs quietly at the sudden swirling movement of your hips on his length.
"Mmmm, you're squeezing me so good."
After a few seconds of enjoying the moment, Jongho grabs your legs, placing them onto his shoulders. His cock sinks even deeper into you, making a new series of moans to leave your mouth.
His thrusts become even stronger, taking you beyond your imagination. Your head is spinning, the haze again falls upon your eyes as you hold tight the table's edges above your head. He fills you completely, his throbbing pride rubbing all the right places.
You can't make any kind of sound. The fire between your thighs starts spreading all over your body.
"I'm.. Jongh… please, please!" You scream repeatedly as waves of indescribable ecstasy start to flood you, making your body spasm again. Loud moans mixed with roars of thunder fills the mansion.
"Fuuck, yes, sweetheart." He joins you in the lewd ritual, feeling your walls closing around his length, squeezing him. Jongho straightens his back, throwing his head back, pushing into you slowly, riding both your highs.
You feel his cock twitch as he unloads his warmth inside you. And it’s followed by a sudden, loud, bloodcurdling laugh that makes you look up at him.
This time you see more than just two black voids instead of the chocolate eyes of your lover. Long fangs glisten in the dark. His whole face, covered in black veins as he's savoring in ecstasy.
"J-Jongho…" You call out breathlessly, feeling like your high grew back intensively, just at the view of his true form that you have fantasized about so many times.
Breathing heavily, he lets his gaze fall down at you. The sinister smile is still painted on his lips. He gives you a few last slow thrusts just so he can watch your face and listen to your adorable whimpers again. You then felt his length slowly sliding out of you followed by his thick seed dripping from your hole. He stared at his masterpiece for a short instant and laid himself on your side.
"You're so beautiful." You caress his cheek, not able to take your eyes off his face. A face that other people would call a monster. You stare at him in awe as his true form starts to fade, being replaced with his human side.
“Beautiful? You find this beautiful.?” He grins with his sharp teeth. You love when the real mischief takes over his lord persona. “And I am here, wondering why you're not having a heart attack. I tried to control my form to not come out but you feel oh so good.”
His finger runs down your body, that's covered and filled with liquids. You still want more, and Jongho can sense it.
“You are beautiful, no matter the form.” You insist, yet your voice sounds weak and shaky as his hand slides between your legs.
He captures your lips, teasing your tongue with his. He swallows your moans, as his hand massages your needy clit.
“You were truly made for me.” He whispers in your lips. “So unsatisfied, desperate for more… Do you want my fingers inside you, darling?”
“Yes…” You feel drunk. He makes you feel more intoxicated than any alcohol ever has.
“You want me to use my cum inside your precious little pussy as a lube and fuck you with my fingers, hm?”
You nod eagerly with no shame whatsoever.
“Say it, sweetness. Use your pretty voice and tell me what you want.”
“I want you… to fuck me… with your fingers, please.” You begged with a pathetic, high-pitched voice.
The confidence his digits slide into you steals the breath from your lungs. The squelching sounds immediately filled the room, disturbing the silence among your moans and the thunder. His fingers are restless as, thanks to his rich filling they go in and out of you like a knife in the most ripe fruit.
You arch your spine as Jongho curls them and his fingertips rub that sweet point that doubles the volume of your cries.
“Ah, yes, yes, right there!”
He uses the opportunity of your exposed neck, and he gently bites the soft skin, not enough to pierce through it, but enough to leave a trace.
“Fuck, (y/n).” He whispers, with a tone of praise. You reacting to everything he does to you, makes his chest swell with pride.
It encourages him.
As a vampire, his strength and never-ending stamina pushes you over the edge the next second after his hand starts racing up and down at a determined, overwhelming speed, playing your whole body like an instrument.
You come once, screaming against the thunder. Then again, but this time you make no sound. You can't, as the pleasure of a thousand suns cages the breath in your lungs.
With his lips glued to your throat, he groans at the way your body trembles as he forces his cum out of you.
“No, no… Jongo, wait… stop…”
He giggles as you push his hand away after his finger starts flicking your core again.
“I would’ve killed him much sooner if I knew it'd cause you to finally scream in pleasure underneath me.” He whispers, placing calming kisses on your marked neck as your hands are roaming all over his back.
You can only smile at his words, tired after the long awaited fulfillment. Seeing your state, Jongho carefully picks you up from the table. You feel him cover you with your robe he had ripped off you.
You don’t remember the trip to his chambers where he carried you in his arms. You don't know where you are until you feel warm water embracing your exhausted body. You open your eyes to see him gently wiping and massaging your skin.
"How delicate, Lord Choi." You give him a tired but content smile. "I clearly remember you saying you wouldn’t be gentle with me."
Jongho grins before saying, "Don't worry. This is only the beginning."
Every nerve in your body wakes up as he leans to your neck and places a gentle kiss.
“I need some time to shape you for me. I don't want to hurt you. Then, I swear there won't be any surface left in this house where I won't take you on, sweetness.”
Then his focus is back on cleaning your body, however the sinister spark never leaves his eyes. You know this night isn't over, wondering what the state the dawn will find you in.
Your eyes wander to the window in front of you. You see the lighting dancing in the distance but you don't hear any thunder accompanying it anymore.
The storm is over. You indulge in the peaceful darkness of the night.
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I repost this one shot cause I wasn't satisfied with it. I couldn't even look at it anymore and I like the idea 🥲 Hope you like it! I added some new plot, too!
496 notes · View notes
musings-ofthe-unamused · 4 months ago
Text
At Your Service - Zenless Zone Zero
Pairing: Lycaon x Reader
Word Count: ~1k
Warnings: None
A/N: I love Lycaon so much and this is probably the tamest thing I have of him
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Your hands were sweaty. You could feel your stomach rolling with anxiety, your knees weak. You were going to die. All alone, with no one to help you. And it was all your fault. It wasn't like you wanted this to happen. You just wanted to help. Now you were going to suffer for it. Your heart was pounding. 
"What did you do?"
A screech left your lips. You turned around to see Lycaon staring at the kitchen with an incredulous expression. You held your arms out, trying to block the view. He pushed past you, gently lowering your arms. The kitchen was… a mess. FLour coated the countertops. Batter had been flung across the cabinet doors and there was something burning. You could feel your cheeks heat up in embarrassment. This was truly the worst thing that could ever happen.
You cleared your throat as you sheepishly smiled. "I-I tried making… those cute souffle pancakes. The ones we got at the cafe that one time?"
"Why?" He asked, his ear twitching as he surveyed the damage. "You don't need to cook at all, Master. It's why I am here."
"Well, that's…"
You couldn't tell him the truth. You wanted to treat him, to thank him for all he's done. It wasn't easy to care for you. After your father had died only a couple years prior, he had left Lycaon to care for you. You weren't kind about it. It was a bitter feeling, getting left alone with someone you barely interacted with. Lashing out, insults, trying to run away… you had caused him a lot of trouble and most likely a lot of grief.
After a particularly bad breakdown, he had comforted you. In that moment, you realized how lucky you were to have him. An insurmountable amount of guilt had filled you. You spent the past two years or so trying to make up for it. You were kind, attentive, and tried not to cause trouble. But now, you were afraid you did more harm than good. Lycaon slowly walked around the kitchen. He came to the stove. The burner was still on. He turned it off.
"Lycaon…"
"Do not speak."
A whimper left your lips. "But, I-"
"I said do not speak. Master, this is… this is ridiculous. I work hard to keep this estate clean! If you wanted to make something, you should have asked me for help. Look at this mess."
His stern tone caused you to curl up in yourself. A meek apology left your lips. "I'm sorry."
He sighed, his tail drooping. "It's fine, Master. Just go clean up. You're covered in flour."
"I want to help clean." You protested, stepping closer.
"No." He turned to you and patted your head. "It's best to let me do it. I'll be thorough."
His hand moved to your shoulder and he turned you around, pushing you out of the kitchen. You glanced back at him to see him rolling up his sleeves, ready to get to work. Although his expression had been scolding before, there was an almost imperceptible smile on his face. Your face flushed as you hurried to your room to clean up.
 It was more than wanting to assuage your guilt. You had fallen in love with Von Lycaon. Who wouldn't fall in love with someone like that? He was everything you could wish for in a partner. And if you couldn't truly show your love for him, you wanted to do it in other ways. Having him by your side was enough. But the way he had scowled, his stern tone…
"Ah… I love him so much." You murmured to yourself.
After washing up, you made your way back to the kitchen. It was sparkling clean, like you had never set foot in it. Lycaon had an apron covering his suit. His eyebrows were furrowed as he read a piece of paper on the counter. His tail swayed languidly behind him. Your eyes focused on his muscles. You bit your lip.
"I'm all clean."
Lycaon's gaze turned to you. "Oh. Good." His tail started to wag and his ears flicked happily.
You walked over to him, peeking out behind his arm. Your eyes squinted as you tried to read the paper. "Are you making something?"
"Souffle pancakes."
"Lycaon…" You sighed and gently tugged on your sleeve. "I really am sorry. I wanted to do something good for you. I wanted to give you a gift, make you happy."
Lycaon turned to face you fully. His hands reached out and he cupped your face. Immediately, you felt a blush crawling up your neck and spreading over you. He stared down at you so intently. As if you were the only one who mattered. You swallowed thickly. His ears were pressed flat against his head. 
"You already make me happy, Master. Just by being by your side, I am the happiest I could be. Serving you, seeing you smile, seeing you safe. It is my ultimate duty to make sure you're living your best life."
You frowned. "Can you say my name? Please?"
His eyebrows furrowed. "Master, that is-"
"Please." You whispered, your voice almost desperate.
He said your name softly. As if it were a gentle thing, something so fragile, it could break at a moment's notice. Your body practically melted. You wanted him. You needed him. He was the love of your life, the only one you wanted to be near. As your heart pounded in your chest, you brought him down to you, grabbing the straps of the apron. Your lips pressed against his.
You could feel his body stiffen. His hands squeezed your cheeks in surprise. But you didn't back down. Your arms wrapped around his neck. Lycaon finally relaxed, his touch becoming softer. He pulled back and kissed your forehead and then your nose. You scrunched your face and looked up at him.
"Don't you know you're not supposed to kiss your butler?" He scolded gently.
You giggled and shrugged. "I can't help it. You're just so easy to love."
"Master…"
"No. I don't want to be your master anymore." You said softly. "I officially relieve you of your duties."
"Are you firing me?"
"I am. But I do have a new position opening up."
He quirked an eyebrow, his hands now resting on his hips. "Oh? And what's that?"
"Have you ever heard of a househusband?"
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sweetyyhippyy · 2 months ago
Text
Figuring it Out Together. Eddie Munson x Fem! Reader. *Fluff*
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Summary: Eddie's girlfriend finds out she's expecting, at 17. She goes to Eddie's to tell him the news.
Word Count: 1.1k
TW: Listen, I love a good pregnancy trope. Teen pregnancy. Reader being scared. Mentions of Wayne smoking. Eddie trying his best, but he needs to read the room. Difficult decision of keeping the pregnancy. Eddie giving Wayne gray hairs.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Her throat felt tight as she knocked on the trailer door, waiting on the porch for someone to answer. 
She turned to stare at the green and white van parked in the muddy dead grass off to the side of the trailer, which meant Eddie was home and she actually had to have this conversation with him. 
The door to the trailer squeaks as it opens, making her turn around. 
“Hey, kid. Come on in, it’s freezing out there.” Wayne greets her, opening the door more for her to come in. “You okay? You look like you seen a ghost.” He asks her, throwing his arm around her back to try and comfort her.
She nervously shuffles in, seeing Eddie on the couch with the tv louder than it truly needed to be. 
“Hey, sweetheart. I thought you had an appointment after school?” He gets up from the couch, wrapping her up in a tight hug. 
A few tears roll down her face as she feels him embrace. 
“I did. That’s what I need to talk to you about, Eddie..” She sniffles and wipes the tears from her cheek with her fingertips. 
Wayne raises his eyebrow. He wasn’t born yesterday. He knew exactly what this conversation was going to be about. 
He clears his throat, making both of the teenagers look at him. 
“I’m going to head outside for a smoke. Give you two some privacy.” Wayne grabs his carton of cigarettes and his lighter, looking at Eddie’s girlfriend quickly. He gives her a small nod and a barely noticeable smile before grabbing his coat and walking out of the door. 
“Are you okay?” Eddie asks, rubbing her shoulders for comfort. 
She nervously pulls at her bottom lip with her teeth, trying not to make eye contact with him. 
“Baby?” He bends down to look her in her eyes, his eyebrows raised quizzically. “You’re scaring me because you’re not talking to me. What’s going on? Did something happen at school? Or at your appointment?” 
Her bottom lip quivers as she looks into his dark brown eyes, the dam breaking and fat tears rolling down her face again. She sniffles as she covers her face with her hands, swallowing the sobs she wanted to let out. 
“Wh-?” Eddie furrows his brows in concern, wrapping her shoulders in his arms and smashing her into his chest. “Baby, what’s wrong? Please talk to me. You got me thinking you got told you have six months to live or something.” He presses a kiss to her hair, before letting her go. 
Her eyes were already puffy from the tears, the whites of her eyes watery and slightly red. “Eddie.” She sighs shakily. “I’m pregnant.” Her eyes look up at him, waiting for him to have a reaction. 
His eyes grow wide immediately, his mouth hanging open. After a few seconds of silence, which felt like hours, Eddie sucks in a breath. “Alright… okay…” He nods his head, now chewing on his lip. 
“Please don’t be mad. I’ve been crying for the past hour, I’m so scared. I don’t know what to do.” She sobs, pulling away from him. 
“Wait, I’m not mad. I’m not mad.” He grabs her shoulders softly. “This lands on me too, sweetheart. I’m pretty sure it was my fault anyway.” He sighs heavily, rubbing at the back of his neck. “That night I didn’t have a condom. I was thinking with the wrong head.” He chuckles. 
“Oh my god, Eddie.” She pushes his arms off of her, turning and walking away from him angrily. “This isn’t a joke! We are going to have a child! Do you get that?! A tiny thing that is going to require constant care for the rest of our lives!” She yells, frustrated at how Eddie wasn’t freaking out like she was. 
“I don’t know how else to deal with this without making jokes.” Eddie follows after her. “I’m just as scared as you are. I just… I just want to be here for you. I know this is a lot scarier for you than it is for me.”  
She sinks down to the couch, burying her head in her hands. “Eddie.” She sighs. “What are we going to do? What the hell do we know about having a baby and raising it? We’re kids! We haven’t graduated yet! Oh my god.” She whispers to herself. 
“Can you look at me for a second?” He rests his hand on her back, rubbing it in small circles. 
She drops her hands from her face, leaning back on the couch, still sniffling. 
“There’s lots of people that don’t know what they’re doing and they have kids. We’ll figure it out together. I-if you want to. What are you thinking as far as… keeping it? D-do you want to, um… what do you want to do?” 
“I don’t know… I haven’t had much time to think about it.” She rubs at her forehead. “I mean, what do you think? Do you think we can do this? By the time I have the baby it’ll be May. It’s going to be so close to graduation and finals and stuff. I don’t want to drop out, I don’t want you to drop out. We’re going to have to figure so much stuff out. I have to tell my parents, oh god I have to tell my parents.” She huffs, throwing her head back against the back of the couch. 
Eddie touches her knee, grimacing to himself. Her parents were not a fan of Eddie by any means, and this wasn’t going to win him any points.
“Despite all that… yeah, yeah I think I want to do this.” She turns to look at Eddie’s face. “I think I want to have your baby.” 
 “So, a May baby, huh?” He smiles, trying to make her feel better. 
She rolls her head to the side, looking at him with a weak smile. “That’s what you took from that conversation? That they’ll be here in May?” She shakes her head, huffing out a small laugh. “Do you really think we can handle this? Being parents at 17?” 
“I think we can handle it. We might not have a clue but we’ll be clueless together. And I’ll be here with you through everything, I promise. I’m not going to be some dead beat that’s going to make you do this by yourself.” 
She sighs shakily, putting her hand on top of Eddie’s. “I guess we’re going to do this? Add to the teen pregnancy statistics.” She jokes. 
“Yeah, guess so.” Eddie says, taking her hand and kissing it. “How about we go tell Wayne? He’ll be easier to tell than your parents.” 
“Yeah no kidding. My father might actually strangle you.” 
The door opens, Wayne cautiously walking in. “It’s pourin’ out there. Is everything okay here?” He asks, shaking his damp coat out before hanging it up. 
“Uh well.” Eddie grunts as he gets up onto his feet, clearing his throat. “Do you want to be called Pop-Pop Wayne, PawPaw Wayne, or the classic Grandpa Wayne?” He tries his best to lighten the mood, using his best southern drawl.
“Oh my god.” Wayne and say in unison. 
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wingedjellyfishflight · 1 year ago
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Big Dick Brother Energy
When you join Task Force 141, you fully expect to have to fend off aggressive, testosterone-fueled men who think anything with a cunt should service them just for existing. Instead, you get a team who welcomes you heartily and truly embrace the idea of brothers in arms. They see you as an extension of themselves, one who deserves their protection and care.
This is amazing on the battlefield. Saving each other is only second to completing a mission objective, and sometimes, it comes first. The problem is when you try to socialize with others outside the team and off the battlefield. The One-Four-One are complete and total cockblocks. So overprotective that no man gets a chance to do more than make eyes at you or maybe say "hi" before a giant wall is sliding between you and that man, physically pushing them away if necessary.
When you first joined the team, they excitedly added you to their phone tracking plan. It allowed the team to track each other at any time while at home, just in case. It was very useful when your car broke down and they were able to come to your rescue within minutes instead of waiting hours for a tow. Now, though, it makes it impossible for you to sneak off or to try a different bar or a club.
A club. That was a disaster. You tried to go to a club to dance, figuring that the team would either brood over drinks at a table in a corner or find girls to dance with. No. They followed you like lost puppies, and the second a guy tried to dance with you, formed a ring around you like bodyguards. Opening your eyes and seeing a wall of brothers glaring at everyone around was embarrassing, to say the least.
After that, you sat them down as a group and told them they needed to stop the big brother act, because you desperately needed to burn off some energy. They nodded as though they understood. Then, they scheduled you for extra PT sessions. When you complained about that, they signed you up for yoga classes and water aerobics. You were excited for those, hoping that you'll find a guy looking to hook up. Only, when you walked into yoga, Ghost was there, laying out his mat next to yours, ignoring your glare with a smirk on his face. And water aerobics had Gaz climbing in the pool with you, telling you about his weekend plans and the newest gadget he picked up.
Hell, you even tried to schedule your own class when the rest of the team was busy in the hopes of meeting a man. Leaving your phone at home, you slipped away to a dance studio across town in a taxi. You saw Alejandro walk in at the last minute and shoved your way past him, stomping outside in frustration. He followed and offered a ride back to base with a lopsided grin, calling you mi Hermana, in case you forgot the team's consideration of you as a sister.
You tried to explain again, and they threw their hands up in frustration. They tried to help you burn off energy in a constructive way. No man would be good enough for you, anyway. They were just heading off the heartbreak. When you storm off in frustration, they shrug it off. No way they would let some idiot hurt you, even if you pouted over it.
Eventually, you decide that you'll have to secretly date someone on base. Maybe a friend's with benefits situation. Just as you make that decision, you look up, your eyes locking with a man's across the room. The look he directs your way makes a delicious shiver go down your spine. That'll do, you think with a smile back at him.
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bimb0fy · 10 months ago
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pure as ice -> luke castellan
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ᵖᵃⁱʳⁱⁿᵍˢ; Luke x aphrodite!reader
ʷᵃʳⁿⁱⁿᵍˢ; smut, p in v, unprotected (wrap it before you tap it whores), corruption kink, fingering.
ˢᵘᵐᵐᵃʳʸ; you were always an innocent little thing, luke loved that, he truly did, yet the thought of corrupting you always won against the adoration.
ʷᵒʳᵈᶜᵒᵘⁿᵗ; 790 words
ᵐᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡⁱˢᵗ!! | ⁿᵃᵛⁱᵍᵃᵗⁱᵒⁿ!!
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-> Luke smirked as he watched you skip along the path, Aphrodite's favorite you were called. She certainly blessed your looks, she certainly favoured you.
Every man, every single one wanted to be with you. Every woman wanted to be you.
You were the purest thing Luke had ever seen.
He felt dirty for picturing your small dainty hands around his cock as he jacked off. Even dirtier when he wished he was in you instead.
He felt attracted to the innocence. He knew it was evil, to ruin something so pretty, so valuable. Yet he didn't care.
He walked to the edges of camp, where you two met during the day. You laid on your stomach, your mini skirt slightly rode up your thigh and it made Luke want you more and more.
You had a pink rose in your hands, smiling at it. Luke set himself down beside you as you smiled, looking up at him with your pretty little eyes looked at him and he couldn't control himself anymore.
Now, you found yourself on the ground, his hands separating your thighs as he looked down at your soaked laced panties, a smirk on his face as your back leaned onto a tree.
"Luke." You muttered as he nodded, looking up at you.
"Sorry baby, I've just been, I've been dreaming for this moment since forever." He laughed as he dove down, licking a strip through your clothed pussy as you let out a moan. "You've never been touched down here right?"
"No." You whispered, biting your lip. You had never even considered masterbating or anything before. That was the first time you felt something, the first time someone touched you, and oh my, you were hooked.
Luke groaned as he changed positions, placing you on top of him, your cunt directly onto his bulge. He thrusted into you once as you let out a groan. "Sorry flowers, I just, fuuck, been waiting for this since the moment I saw you in that pretty dress."
You nodded as you felt him untie the ribbon of your dress, the dress expanding and falling as he stared at your body. You looked better then he had ever imagined.
His mouth latched into your right nipple, his hand playing with your left as you let out a groan. His other hand slid down past your underwear as he lightly grazed your lips.
You let out a moan as you felt him start to rub, unintentionally grinding against him as he groaned.
He pulled out, sliding your panties to the side as he pumped a finger in you. You were a mess, moaning and groaning as you bounced along with him, your tits jumping as he stared at your body.
It was all he ever wanted with you, and he was about to take his sweet time too.
"Luke, I feel something." You moaned as he quickened his pace. The way you clenched around one of his fingers was ecstatic to him.
He pulled out as you let out a cry, unsure of what to feel, the feeling of pressure replaced with hurt.
He spun you around, your stomach on the grass as he pushed your head against the dirt. "It's gonna hurt baby, but trust me, it'll be worth it okay?"
You let out a strained moan as you felt two of his fingers in you. You clutched onto the grass as you heard his groans. You could see his hand fishing for his cock, jacking off as he fingers you.
"Luke, the feelings back." You moaned as he pulled out, licking a strip before spiting in your cunt. You groans as the cold liquid landed onto you.
He raised your legs up, your face held down by his hand as he lined himself with you, he entered you as you let out a loud moan.
He let out a moan as you clenched around him. You were so tight, clipping onto him like a vice. He couldn't control himself as he thrusted into you roughly, causing you to let out moans and whimpers.
"God luke your so big." You muttered as he thrusted faster. He looked down at your pussy as you arched your back, clenching onto him as he watched you give into him.
He watched as the white liquid infect his cock and your thighs. The sight itself sent him over to the edge as he pulled out, emptying the knot onto your back as closed your eyes, taking deep breathes.
"That was fun." You smiled as he set himself beside you. He kissed your forehead, standing up and buttoning his pants as he helped you up.
"C'mon, let's go shower." He whispered in your ear as you giggled.
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mrsbarnesblog · 1 year ago
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Bucky Barnes Masterlist
ko-fi ao3
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⭐️ - personal favorite
❤️‍🔥 - smut
🩷 - fluff
🖤 - angst
⭐️❤️‍🔥Jersey - College! Bucky Barnes x Reader
Natasha’s idea of getting a jersey with Bucky’s name turned out to be much better than you expected. (3.2k)
⭐️❤️‍🔥Push Him - Avenger! Bucky Barnes x PR Manager! Reader
When you became Avenger’s PR manager, you basically got your dream job, but one particular man, who had been staring at you every single time you were around, made you wonder whether it was because he hated or liked you. (6.8k.)
⭐️❤️‍🔥Stay quiet for me - Modern! Bucky Barnes x Reader
Bucky fucks you while your parents sleep in the next room. (1.6k)
❤️‍🔥Little games - Gamer! Bucky Barnes x Reader
You really need to calm down, so you get under Bucky's table while he's playing with his friends. (1.4k)
🩷Sandcastles - CEO! Husband! Bucky Barnes x Reader
Bucky is always working overtime, but when his best girls really need him, he leaves everything behind just to make you happy. (1.6k)
❤️‍🔥 New purchase - Mob! Bucky Barnes x Reader
You just got a new expensive lingerie set and decided to tease your mafia boss boyfriend with some sexy pictures. (2.3k)
⭐️❤️‍🔥 Firewood - Lumberjack! Bucky Barnes x Reader
When you decide to chop wood in your backyard, your hot neighbor, who happens to be a lumberjack, offers you some help. (4.8k)
🩷 I can't let you get hurt - Brother's best friend! Bucky Barnes x Reader
You have just moved to New York, where your adopted brother Steve has been living for 5 years. Desperate to make new friends, you give the dating app another go. You didn’t even think that you would have to ask for help from the person who has not left your thoughts for the past month - your brother’s best friend. (3.3k)
❤️‍🔥 Don't hide - Mechanic! Bucky Barnes x Reader
Somehow you ended up in a storage room with one of your dad's mechanics. (1.8k)
🩷 My everything - Avenger! Bucky Barnes x Reader
The last thing that Bucky ever expected to see was the love of his life from the past trapped in one of the Hydra bunkers in the cryofreeze chamber. Yet here he was almost two days later, staring at your still unconscious body through the window at the medical wing, imagining the horror and disgust on your face when you found out that he was no longer the innocent and happy boy you knew before. (6.8k)
⭐️🩷Personal pillow - Avenger! Bucky Barnes x Reader
You confront avengers when they start teasing Bucky about being too soft. (1.6k)
⭐️🩷 I trust you - Avenger! Bucky Barnes x Reader
When Bucky comes back from a mission with a knife wound there is only one person who can convince him to get help. (3.5k)
⭐️🩷 You deserve the world - College! Bucky Barnes x Reader
You were in a relationship with a man who had never truly cared about you, but after catching him cheating on you at a friend's party, you eventually decided to end things with him. The good news was that there was always someone who wasn't going to let you go through it alone. (4.6k)
🩷 Barbie - Avenger! Bucky Barnes x Reader
Bucky takes his best girl to watch a Barbie movie and then spoils her with gifts. (1.3k)
❤️‍🔥 Wakanda - Avenger! Bucky Barnes x Avenger! Reader
You visit Bucky in Wakanda, and the hidden feelings are finally coming out. (2.7k)
Requests
We could've done it earlier - Avenger! Bucky Barnes x Reader
When one of the new recruits started following you around and being too persistent, Bucky decided to help you by kissing you right in front of that guy. Though he didn't realize that he wouldn't be able to stop. (2.3k)
Night - Avenger! Bucky Barnes x Reader
You wandered around the Tower at night because you couldn't sleep. In the common room, you find Bucky sitting in the dark and decide to share an ice cream pint with him.
Snowman - Avenger! Bucky Barnes x Reader
When the first snow of the year had just covered the whole of New York City, you tried to convince Bucky to play outside with you. He couldn't find the power in himself to say no to you, even if it's his least favorite time of the year.
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seoulmatez · 1 year ago
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୨♡୧ LONELY EYES, LONELY BOY — gojo x reader. sfw. eventual fluff.
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gojo satoru is the loneliness boy you’ve met.
if you told anyone you thought that, they’d laugh in your face and ask if you were talking about the same person. the guy that’s invited to and attends every party on campus? the one who throws himself into all the sports and clubs he can possibly manage? you can admit that he’s a social butterfly but, despite the many faces that surround him and the constant smile playing at his lips, there’s an emptiness behind gojo’s cerulean irises.
it’s strange, you think, that you’ve picked up on this isolated variant of his. everyone knows of gojo but not many people truly know him and you’re no exception. although, the sneaking glances you steal when he thinks no one is watching are telling. you don’t miss the way his bright blues stare off into space while he absentmindedly taps his pencil against his desk as the professor lectures. the way he slips away from the thick of the crowd to step outside onto the patio and take a silent moment for himself isn’t lost on you. you wonder if he’s aware of how transparent he can be if someone cares to look hard enough.
even though you can only call him an acquaintance or classmate at best, those fleeting glimpses of loneliness and solitude you happen to catch lingering in his eyes blanket you with an air of melancholy.
how can someone so prominent, so well-liked, also be so alone?
you ask yourself that question a lot, especially during those moments when the gojo everyone knows and loves disappears and is traded in for the one disguised to hide his woes. he’s here now, at the university-sanctioned event held to honor and acknowledge the outstanding students on campus.
he wears a bright smile, one that doesn’t quite reach his eyes, as he greets and converses with the many professors and advisors that approach him to share their congratulations on his academic achievements. not once do you see anyone aside from the faculty at his side.
when there’s finally a break in the flow of bodies around him, gojo takes the opportunity to wipe his palms on his thighs before leisurely making his way to the door. all too soon, the white fluff of his hair is no longer visible. you quickly excuse yourself and scurry off to follow behind him.
you’re nervous that he decided to call it a night when you finally push past the heavy, metal door but the concrete steps leading down to the parking lot aren’t unoccupied. he’s situated on the far right side of the stairs, hands folded together and head tilted up toward the star-littered sky. his eyes look bluer, brighter, in the dimness of the night—but they’re blank, vacant.
he’s physically present but you have no idea where his mind is. and maybe it isn’t your place to figure that out, but you want to know. that’s why you’re feet are carrying you down the steps before you consider the fact that he might have come out here because he wanted to get away from everyone—including you. but the scuffing of your shoes drifting through the air and the movement beside him doesn’t even alert him of your arrival which is enough to convince you that he shouldn’t be alone right now.
you quietly clear your throat. “hi.”
at your voice, gojo turns to you with his signature smile. it’s jarring how promptly and effortlessly the switch between the two happens. it’s clearly practiced which sends a pang to your heart—he’s been doing this for a while.
“well, hello.” he returns your greeting naturally, running a hand through his windswept hair. it’s the only indication that you caught him off guard. if you didn’t know any better, you would have thought that was all there was to it. “to what do i owe the pleasure?”
“oh, i was just getting some fresh air.” you nod as if it’ll make your lie more believable. you’ve never been one to pride yourself on your patience, though, and you’re almost sure your curiosity is going to kill you if you don’t just spit it out. so you do, jerking your head in the direction of the parking lot before asking, “still waiting on your parents?”
“hm?” he hums, the grin he wears slipping for a split second before it’s back in place, as though the lapse never happened. gojo shakes his head. “no, they’re away on business. they send their congratulations, though.” he smiles as he says it, but there’s a concealed bitterness lingering in his voice like he wanted them here but expected they wouldn’t be coming.
you hate the thought of this being normal for him but you have no right to speak on his family life. there’s one thing you think you can do for him in this moment. you nudge his shoulder with yours, lips curling up into a playful smile. “you can have mine for the night. they have more than enough parental proudness to go around.”
he chuckles softly. it’s much different than the boisterous laugh you’re used to hearing bounce off the walls of whatever room you’re in. it’s a gentle noise that makes your heart flutter in your chest and the smile tugging at your lips widen.
“thanks,” and you can tell by his tone that the rest of his sentence won’t be what you want to hear, “but i’m fine on my own.”
you shouldn’t have to be, you almost blurt out before biting your tongue. you ask yourself why this sad reality of gojo’s frustrates you so much and it doesn’t take you more than a couple of seconds to put your finger on it. it’s because no one else is. the people who should be—his family, the ones who consider themselves his friends—they don’t care. maybe that’s why you do.
you turn your body so you’re facing him—really facing him. you want him, need him, to know that someone sees past the shield he puts up to hide his silent struggle. he needs to know that you care. it’s a long shot, but you know you’ll regret it if you don’t try. “are you doing anything after this?”
“no,” he draws out the vowel, entertained by your question. he has no idea where you’re going with this but he certainly intends on finding out. with an elbow propped on his thigh, gojo rests his chin in the palm of his hand, putting his dimpled smile on perfect display for you. thick white lashes brush the tops of his cheeks as he blinks in curiosity. “why?”
“i was just thinking,” you trail off before finding your voice again, “that you deserve to have someone to celebrate with. and i know of a café that serves really good desserts nearby.”
the corners of his lips twitch before they slowly fall, not because he’s unhappy, but because he’s surprised. he wasn’t sure what you planned on asking him but he didn’t think it would be an invitation, especially not one to honor his accomplishments. no one else in his life bothered to even attend this event with him and he can’t imagine they would have offered to take him out after if they had shown up. but you, someone he’s spoken to so little that he can count the number of times on one hand, just did.
it shouldn’t, but his palpable shock makes you bite the inside of your cheek to hold back a smile. you were almost positive he was going to turn you down but his reaction has given you hope that he might accept your suggestion. you give in and let the smile pull your lips up as you place a hand on his knee and give it a gentle squeeze.
“so… how about it?” you ask.
maybe you can be the one to make this lonely boy a little less lonely.
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thanks for reading! consider commenting or reblogging if you enjoyed ❤︎
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citrustan · 1 year ago
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slipping through my fingers [1] (myg)
title: will i ever see you again?
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pairing: min yoongi x reader genre: dilf!yoongi, exes and co-parents au, angst!, fluff, smut summary: yoongi usually has an explanation for everything. why can't he talk you through this? warnings: [it is important that you read the prologue before this]
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It takes you a good five minutes to gather yourself. Yoongi doesn't dare to disturb you.
Still leaned against the wall, you take a few steady breaths.
You don't know why but you don't cry.
The news of him dating another person is enough for you to have an intense breakdown, let alone marrying someone.
This will forever serve as a reminder that you weren't enough for Yoongi.
You kind of just want to go straight to bed. Pretend this never happened. Just deal with it later.
After your break-up, a big part of you always thought you'd end up getting back together. And that no matter how long it takes, Yoongi would be your endgame. He was it for you.
Over the past year, your contact with Yoongi had reduced. He was always busy when you called. Always working.
But now that you think about it, it was you who assumed that he was working. He never claimed he was.
For all you know, he could've been dating.
Pfft. 'Could have.'
He most definitely was.
And he didn't tell you. Not even your friends told you about it.
You don't know what's worse.
You're pushing yourself away from going into a dark place. Where you begin to wonder.
The only question that refuses to budge is: What does she have that you don't?
In all honesty, you wish he never told you. You don't want to know what type of a person his future wife is. You do not want to know if they'd have children together. You do not care if they buy a house together, or if they already have one. You don't want to know.
And you don't want to think about what it'd do to Nao.
When you begin to truly register the possible consequences of Yoongi's marriage, you feel anger. It spreads through your veins in a millisecond.
Had Nao already met this woman? You doubt that because she never told you about it.
Would it be confusing for her to understand what's going on?
Is that woman going to be parenting your child too? You violently shook your head. You won't allow that.
You are her only mother.
The pressure in your chest only deepens the more you think about this.
Yoongi has stolen your peace.
How are you to move on from this? And you hadn't even confronted half of the thoughts you're having. The anger never subsides.
He's going to send you right back to therapy.
"_____?" Yoongi comes looking for you.
You cannot afford to lose your composure in front of him. You don't want to give him more reasons to be grateful for your break-up.
You had to step away for just a bit longer, "I'll be right back."
You were about to turn and hide in your room when you feel Yoongi yanking your arm back.
With a surprised yelp, you pull it back just as forceful.
"Talk to me." Yoongi pleaded with his eyes.
No.
"I...-" You trail off. The words were caught in your throat. I don't want to see you again, ever.
This was such a disaster.
How does one move on from this?
"_____. I'm sorry." He tried again.
Yoongi had it all planned. He was going to sit you down and ease it in on you.
Instead, he chickened out and ended up dropping a bomb on you out of nowhere.
He's usually the more composed one out of the two of you, and he screwed it up.
You sigh, "I don't know why you're apologizing."
After a moment, you swiftly walk away from Yoongi and peek into the living room.
Nao's attention is still on the movie.
"Has she met Nao?"
Yoongi shook his head profusely, "I wanted your permission first."
At this you're confused.
Unable to separate your emotions, you sarcastically laugh. "My permission to let your daughter meet her father's future wife?"
It's like a bell ringing in your mind. Your laugh transitions into a bit of a manic one, "What if I told you no? What happens then?"
Yoongi kept his calm, "Then she won't meet her now." You scoff.
Immediately, you give in, having no interest in continuing this conversation. "Then do whatever you want. She's your daughter too. I can't make decisions for you."
You start to walk away from him when he stops you, "_____. Let's just... talk."
“I don’t want to.” You sternly announce.
This would be a lot easier to handle this if he just got mad at you. It’d be easy to hate him if he were being unreasonable. In all honesty, even then you’d probably never be able to truly hate him.
“_____, I’m sorry,” Yoongi softly brings your attention to him. His eyes were directed towards your feet.
It doesn’t phase you. His blanket apology for whatever happened doesn’t make up for anything.
You want to ask him what he was apologising for. But you don’t really want to go there. Not in front of Nao.
You cannot subject her to this instability anymore than you already have.
“Ask your daughter if she wants to meet your wife,” you spat, “Not me.”
Yoongi knew you were angry. He also knew exactly why. Still, he can’t bring himself to talk you through it. It’s too soon. He needs to let it simmer.
As much as you don’t want him to think (know) that you’re just bitter for very obvious reasons, that ship has already sailed.
You don’t think you can do a whole lot to salvage it. Might as well ride it out for now.
With the risk of sounding pathetic, you turn your body towards him. “How come you’re marrying someone else?”
Yoongi’s mouth opens and closes a few times before he sighs deeply.
“_____...” He coos, “I’m sorry. I don’t want to hurt you.”
There's a pause, a moment where the air seems heavy.
The noises from the TV sound muffled. Time slows down for you to hold yourself together.
“I don’t want you to ever doubt yourself, _____.”
That’s not under his control. Hell, you yourself can’t help it.
“I don’t,” you lie.
“I want you to know that it wasn’t an easy decision. I just… She broke me. I don’t know how but I changed.”
That’s what you get for respecting his boundaries.
This is a slap in your face. He better not be saying what you think he is.
“She convinced you?” You question him pointedly.
So, you could’ve ‘broken’ him too? So much for not being an overzealous girlfriend slash baby mother.
“No! I just changed my mind about-“
You wouldn’t let him finish, “No.”
“No?” Yoongi was starting to get a little agitated.
“I… don’t want to know.”
“Okay. That’s okay. Let’s talk tomorrow,” Yoongi agreed.
The two of you take a little break from the almost heated conversation you just had.
“I’ll finish up in the kitchen. Are Mimi’s bags packed?”
“Yeah, just need to get her toothbrush after she’s done.”
Your ex-boyfriend’s nickname for your daughter was Mimi, and you preferred Nao. Nao prefers Nao too but she’d never break her daddy’s heart like that.
He gives your arm a subtle squeeze as he moves past you to get back to the kitchen.
You head to Nao’s room to get her bag as she excitedly follows you in.
Turning to her, you tilt your head towards her, “Did you turn the TV off?”  
“Yes! And I unplugged the wire.”
“Good girl.” You give her a genuine smile.
You don’t know what your future is going to look like with Yoongi’s wife in the picture. What if Nao doesn’t like her? What if she doesn’t like Nao?
Your heart drops at the thought of them having a kid. What if she pushes Yoongi to leave you and Nao?
No, he’d never. You’ve got to give him more credit than that.
Wait.
Is she pregnant? Is that why he wants to marry her?
You were pregnant too.
You already know you’re going to kick Taehyung’s ass for not warning you about this new woman in Yoongi’s life.
“MOMMY.” Nao’s scream brings you back.
“I’m sorry! Mama’s here. W-” - “Daddy’s calling.”
Okay. Deep breaths.
“Go on ahead, I’ll bring you your bag.” You then instruct her to brush her teeth at her dad’s.
Nao hugs your waist, burying her head into your side. It tickles a little.
Then, she runs off to find her father.
Soon, you follow her and drop her bag by the door.
Yoongi reappears from the kitchen, drying his hands with a paper towel. He stops in front of you and waits as Nao jams her feet into her pink Crocs.
Seemingly in deep thought, you stand by them. You don’t want to end tonight on a weird note. Even though you’re hurting, you can’t let him see it. For so long, you just assumed you’d find your way back to each other even though you never actively put effort into it.
Now, it seems downright outlandish.
Your next moves are not to save face but an attempt to actually move forward.
“Yoongi!” You call out to him as if he were miles away.
A little startled, he raises a brow at you in question.
“You should introduce them.” You nod, mostly to yourself.
At this, his expression changes. It’s softer and… almost aching.
“And congrats.” You added shyly. “You deserve to be happy.”
Your vision began to blur.
NOOOOOOOOOO. Not now. Please. PLEASE.
You gulp and smile. Yoongi knows the smile. He begins to extend his arms, inching towards you, as if he were about to embrace you.
“Mommy.” Nao winks, blows you a kiss, and runs out of the apartment, breaking whatever moment the two of you just had. You scrunch your brows at the now-empty doorway.
Yoongi scoffs in amazement.
“You should go,” you urge him out of the door, not allowing him to respond to you. “Now. Bye.”
Yoongi simply allows you to push him out, still a little stunned by the two of you.
“Make sure she does her math homework!” You get the last word in as you slam the door in his face.
Had your daughter not distracted you, you don’t know what you’d have done.
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₊˚.🎧 ✩。 underwater by red velvet ₊˚.🎧 ✩。
note: these song recommendations go great w the story!! u should give it a listen :*
thank u for all the love and attention you've given to this little project 😍
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balladeerssong · 4 days ago
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| SYNOPSIS | genshin men as cliche love tropes.
| INCLUDING | Albedo, Diluc, Childe, Kaeya, Zhongli
| WARNINGS | modern/university au!, Kaeya's and Zhongli's are suggestive, age gap in Zhongli's, mentions of blood and obsession in Albedo's, mentions of death in Diluc's.
𝐀𝐥𝐛𝐞𝐝𝐨 - ᵛᵃᵐᵖⁱʳᵉ ᵃⁿᵈ ʰᵘᵐᵃⁿ ˡᵒᵛᵉ.
ꕤ Albedo is quiet, reserved, typically someone you'd call a 'loner' in uni. he's super distant with everyone and seems to be repulsed by any form of interaction. mood, honestly.
ꕤ it was all until you came along of course. your blood smells divine, your thoughts are unreadable, everything about you seems so.. different. but not the kind of different he is.
ꕤ Albedo loathes the monster he truly is, which is why he's scared to approach you at first. he yearns for, craves an answer to why you stand out from everyone else; but for that, he has to push his thirst for your blood down his throat - which is way more difficult than it seemed at first.
ꕤ however, first and foremost, he doesn't want to scare his dinner you away! how could he seek answers if you were terrified of him? so, he starts showing up at places you usually go to. it doesn't feel like someone is watching you all the time at all...
ꕤ oh, this parasocial relationship he was in with you looked way creepier from 3rd person view. his behaviour is straight up concerning to others, and if someone didn't think he was weird before, now they do.
ꕤ when he finally manages to speak to you in chemistry class, his world turns upside down. your voice, your scent, the light in your eyes, the warmth of your body - each and every part of you just draws him in, chaining him to you in a way he never could have imagined in the past.
ꕤ the more time you spend with him, the less tense he gets around you, which leads to a big change in his behaviour. he eventually reveals his big secret with a lump in his throat, and - to his surprise - you take it well and accept him for who he is.
ꕤ naturally, he's very protective. not just out of jealousy, but because he understands how fragile humans are compared to him. expect him to be right behind you wherever you go (even if you complain about him scaring your friends away).
𝐃𝐢𝐥𝐮𝐜 - ᶜʰⁱˡᵈʰᵒᵒᵈ ᵇᵉˢᵗ ᶠʳⁱᵉⁿᵈˢ.
᯽ your families were always extremely close, which is why you basically spent your entire childhoods together. your parents always joked about how you'll eventually end up marrying each other when you grow up.
᯽ even after Crepus' unfortunate passing, you two stay inseparable. Diluc changed a lot after that, but you understand and accept him the way he is; which is something he's eternally grateful for.
᯽ from day 1 of university, it's obvious for everyone that seeing either of you without the other is near impossible. and before you think there would be a bunch of rumours about you two dating, you're wrong. to others it's common knowledge that you're a couple.
᯽ it's not like you act like you are! but you look nothing alike, so that closes out the possibility of you being siblings and... what else could you be, really?
᯽ Diluc hears about this before you do. it makes him reflect on his feelings - maybe he does feel more than just friendship. you've been a part of his life since birth, after all. at first he tries to brush it off, convincing himself that it's simply familial love he feels for you. yet he can't help but look at you in a slightly different way after that, he becomes a lot more attentive to everything you say and do (he already was, but now even more so!).
᯽ after exploring his emotions in depth, his confession would be brief and confident in the comfort of his apartment. it catches you by surprise, but it also makes you extremely happy - for the past years you thought you were the loser for falling for your best friend!
𝐂𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐞 - ᵖᵒᵖᵘˡᵃʳ ˣ ˡᵒⁿᵉʳ.
✦ 'name someone on campus who doesn't have a crush on Childe' challenge, go! while it does seem impossible, there's one person that could not care less about the redhead - it's you of course.
✦ and when they say the seating plans can't be that horrible, he ends up getting seated next to the only person who doesn't bother to even look at him. how humiliating! well, it's even worse for you - since you're somewhat an enigma to him, he'll bother you all the damn time.
✦ the worst part is that he thinks he's doing you a favour by talking to you, since you don't have friends and all. he even offers to sit with you at lunch as a joke, which you immediately refuse. how can he even enjoy his meal with all these people trying to get his attention all the time?
✦ you don't humour him at all and it infuriates him. it lights something up inside of him that he can't quite place - he has the attention of the entire campus, yet he'd much rather try to get yours instead. you're hard to get and he loves it.
✦ luck shines upon him when you're assigned to work on a project with your seatmate. the deadline is in a month, so you know what that means! he has 30 days to win you over.
✦ he does everything, and i mean everything. he invites you over to 'work on the project' often, and since you do want to get this over with quickly, you can't possibly refuse. you notice him getting closer and closer in your personal space on each occasion, pushing his knee against yours, letting your hands touch, resting his head on your shoulder. all of this leading up to the faithful moment where he has his nose against yours, pulling you into the kiss he's been waiting for all this time.
✦ you have to admit that his charms did work on you after all. and he has to admit he prefers being with just you, far from the crowd he used to be in the center of.
𝐊𝐚𝐞𝐲𝐚 - ʸᵒᵘʳ ᵇᵉˢᵗ ᶠʳⁱᵉⁿᵈ'ˢ ᵉˣ.
✶ his biggest mistake ever was choosing your friend over you when fate offered him two hotties at the senior party. he was drunk, okay? she seemed slightly more interested and willing to do nasty things with him, so... he went with the easier road.
✶ well, he missed out BIG time. i'm not saying that your bestie is a bad person, no! but whenever you met up with him because your best friend wanted to spend time with the both of you at the same time, it became more and more obvious that he's much more compatible with you. he'd never show that of course.
✶ your friend was devastated on the night of their breakup, calling you at ungodly hours just to cry on the phone to you. how sad. Kaeya didn't seem like a bad guy, you could only wonder what happened between them. funny thing is, your best friend did too. he didn't give her an actual reason for the breakup. he could never tell her that he was head over heels for her best friend.
✶ he waits for a while. pouncing on you right after breaking up with your friend would be way too unethical and definitely suspicious. he still has your number though, and he knows that one place you usually get lunch from. he'll make a detailed, steadfast plan to get closer with you again - after all, you two haven't spoken since the day of the breakup.
✶ he gradually starts with small gestures here and there. liking your posts (which he didn't do while he was in a relationship), saying hello when you walk past him in the hallway, sitting next to you in class when your bestie is absent. soon, he starts sending you tiktoks he thinks you might enjoy, starting small talk when he catches you alone, paying for your lunch when he gets the chance. he's more obvious than he intended to be, but he's impatient. and you catch on.
✶ you didn't expect to be at his place one night, letting him see what he missed on his first opportunity, feeling so good but so guilty at the same time, knowing that your friend's heart would break for the second time if she found out.
✶ so, you start dating in secret. he's awfully good at keeping a facade up. you only meet up at each other's place, anywhere in the city or on campus would be too risky. the walls have ears and eyes in university after all.
𝐙𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐢 - ᵖʳᵒᶠᵉˢˢᵒʳ'ˢ ˢᵉᶜʳᵉᵗ ᶠᵃᵛᵒᵘʳⁱᵗᵉ.
𑁍 Mr. Zhongli has to be one of your favourite professors - you could very easily tell how much passion he has for the subjects he teaches, it was so motivating! i lied. he's just mad hot.
𑁍 his hair tied back, his dark brown suit that looks like it was made just for him, the way his long, slender fingers held his pen... absolutely divine.
𑁍 of course, the best way to get a teacher's attention is to either excel or underperform in their class and, well, the latter is way easier. he notices your lack of efforts when it comes to his subjects. intentional or not, it still needs to be talked about, so the day after your test, he asks you to stay behind for a minute (mission success).
𑁍 he talks about how poorly your essay is written, how you should pay attention to both the structure and the factuality of your work. you obviously couldn't care less about that, being lost in the gold irises behind his glasses. he notices this and simply sighs.
𑁍 never in his many years of teaching has a student try to get his attention this way, and he'd be ashamed to admit that it was working perfectly. your skirt being a bit too short during your one-on-one tutoring lessons, the buttons on your shirt that always seem to get loose, that look in your eyes when he's asking you to focus. he catches on. and he loves it.
𑁍 Zhongli knows you're doing this on purpose, yet he doesn't cancel your tutorings. he also wants this, no matter how unacceptable it is from either of you. which is why you're sat on his lap, learning about the correct way to build an essay up, slightly shifting your position every now and then. he clears his throat and adjusts his glasses before grabbing your chin and turning your head back to the paper in front of you.
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silent-sanctum · 5 days ago
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"Jotaro Kujo is Weak at His Core"
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As a writer and avid character psycho-analyzer, I find this concept fascinating because I wholeheartedly agree with what OP has quoted from a "What opinion would get the community to do this? *Insert Johnny getting torn apart*" post.
Before I begin, I know some people will see this, misread it, and immediately say "lmao did we watch the same show? He's strong, badass, and can kick anyone's ass. Like do you know Star Platinum bro?". Trust me, I've seen the replies to this post and they said this same exact thing.
And I'm here to say that to said people, if you truly are not the illiterates I'd like to term you as, you'd take the time to realize that when we say "he's weak", we're not referring to his physical prowess because we know he's one of the strongest characters in the show.
If you don't like to, then you're just proving the accuracy of the last sentence: "You can't stand seeing your edgy badass image of Jotaro as vulnerable."
Pushing that aside, I'd like to expand on OP's opinion/headcanon with some depth to it and explain how exactly he's "weak" outside of being a skilled and strategic fighter.
I've learned that to be holistically healthy, one needs to develop and maintain all optimal functions of oneself: Physical, Emotional, Social, and Mental.
Obviously, Jotaro excels in the physical category. He's conventionally attractive, taller than the average male population, well-defined with a muscled build, fit as hell, street and book smart, and highly in tune with his environment making him adaptable in any circumstance.
He's "strong" in that aspect we all know at a superficial level.
However, we start to see the core problem once we strip this good-hearted man of his physical appeal:
Emotional? He believes he doesn't need to express them to others because why should he. He refuses to process them and instead keeps them behind a locked wall of stoicism and aloofness.
Social? Can't communicate to save his life. He's reclusive and doesn't know how to socialize outside of work. Guarded and skeptical around others. Too much of a workaholic to bother making new acquaintances (if he even knows how) outside of familial connections.
Mental? At 17, he went on a death crusade over Asia and the Middle East, almost died numerous times, and most likely lived with unresolved PTSD that carried over into adulthood, and further deteriorated his already poor social and emotional skills.
What do we have then? If we look past that powerful exterior of a man, we have inappropriate emotional expression, poor socialization, and constant fatigue of dealing with bullshit that relates to his trauma.
And this is what we mean by his "core": His mindset. His inner machinations. The soft spot his enemies would need to target in order to defeat or kill him, strategy-wise.
I. Emotional
We pretty much already know how this man handles emotions. And this may come off as "irrelevant" to the dudebros and the meme riders who believe "haha feelings are for pussies, I advocate for edgy autistic Florida man who don't give a fuck, elopes with dolphins, and berates women".
But believe it or not, he has them, just like any other human being on the planet. I said it once and I'll say it again: Not everyone will wear their heart on their sleeves. Some will convey emotions publicly with no issue, while others would prefer to keep to themselves.
But how does this contribute to him being "weak" at his core?
Essentially, it's similar to how someone with depression may behave (not everyone, some of them). One may appear friendly, sunny, and bubbly to everyone around them, not knowing they're actually suffering from a void that eats them up from the inside when alone.
For his case, it may look like he doesn't care about what happens to him and everyone around him, considering his nonchalant and aloof behavior, but beneath that cold exterior, he cares way too much for his family, friends, and allies. He feels too much to the point where once his allies are endangered, he would sacrifice his well-being without a second thought.
And that's an issue to him.
To him, emotions make him vulnerable and in his circumstance where enemies are actively hunting him down trying to find his weak spots, his emotions should be kept behind doors because he doesn't know how to regulate it on the outside so it's either total stoicism or lashing out.
I found someone saying this line about him that fits him so well: "He's a good person who doesn't know how to be a good person."
This is a man who means well and truly wants to help out of the goodness of his heart, but because of his inability to convey his emotions properly and is unable to pick up emotional cues, it can lead to shit tons of misunderstandings due to inappropriate tone & expression, and that can change how someone views him in the long run, thus leading to unintended deterioration of personal relationships (which contribute to the social aspect of his weakness).
I found a visual representation of what I just said above. Just to give context: The show is about a married couple who struggles to keep their relationship afloat, having to navigate through family politics, work & life balance, and miscommunications so they could find why they loved each other in the first place.
The emotionally-reserved character here with the poor communication skills is the girl. She's a CEO who just received a call, came out from work, and meets with her husband, asking him to accompany her to a doctor's appointment.
Observe how she thinks she views herself VS how others actually view her as.
Other's POV: Demanding, brash, and insensitive Her POV: Anxious, hesitant, and confused
Now remember what Araki had written about Jotaro? "He doesn't believe he must reveal his emotions to others because he thinks everyone can figure him out, leading him to be a victim of misunderstandings. Others think him to be cold-hearted, rebellious, and insensitive."
II. Social
With emotions as our base foundation to poor communication skills, this leads us to his weak socialization aspect.
In a recent quote reblog about how he was raised as a child may have contributed to his tough persona, I mentioned something about his need of "Security".
Growing up, it was mostly just him and his sweet pacifist mother Holly. Joseph couldn't have visited often (he hates Japan) and his dad is a busy musician with a packed schedule on tour. As a kid up to early adolescence, he was coddled by his mother and raised as a good student. Everything was going great for him.
[In popular headcanon] Once he passed puberty, the change to his Part 3 MC era began. People began picking fights with him and bullying him, and he began to see the world as a threat to his safety. Knowing his mother, he wouldn't rely on her to defend him against these dangers. She was too kind, too friendly, too loving for her to deal with the harsh life he now has to deal with.
So he had to be the stronger one for both of them. He already had the physical attributes for it, so why not use it to his advantage?
He got on the popular delinquent trend back in 80's Japan, integrated a couple of cool masculine-esque personalities as his own from his favorite Western and Crime media, and is then able to project this menacing aura everyone should be afraid of, to ward potential threats away from him and his mother.
But Mijin, how does this make him weak? What does this have to do with his need for security?
Think about it: The poor guy's already introverted, doesn't feel comfortable with his emotions that he can't express properly, and now he has to be skeptical with people around him because he realized how shitty society can be, which leads to intimidation that wards off not only potential foes but potential friends as well, making it look like he's anti-social.
On the outside, people are likely to think that he likes being this way when in reality, he seeks a reliable support system on which he can lean onto. Everyone with a sound mind wants that subconsciously because we are social creatures. It's part of our nature.
He's constantly fearful of his surroundings, growing even more vigilant as he ages, but he doesn't look afraid because he chooses to put on a brave face to challenge said fears instead of acknowledging he's scared. I read somewhere in an ask that's not mine that in the manga, some panels actually depict Jotaro shaking/trembling in a mix of fear and adrenaline during some of his fights.
He wants to be around people who he can trust. People who he can lower his defenses with. People who are capable of protecting him just as he is capable of protecting them. People who can face his intimidating aura and challenge it to stand on equal grounds with him or to remind him of his place when he goes too far with certain things. Hence, why he seems comfortable being with the Crusaders.
For once, he wants to feel safe.
To not feel like he has to be this strong pillar of hope that everyone depends on.
To be someone being protected, instead of the other way around where he was always the strong protector. He wants a life of normalcy where he can just be a marine biologist and a professor with a loving family he can come home to.
But that can't happen. The inner circle of friends he counted on is either dead or far away, leaving him even more fearful of the world around him. This results in even more guarded skepticism, always watchful of who's an enemy Stand user and what their Stand could do. Because of his cautious nature, this leads to minimized socialization with others.
With little to no solid support system he can count on, he has no one he feels completely secure with because he believes danger will always come to hurt and/or kill those near him. He doesn't want to burden others with the issues & responsibilities of dealing with Stand users. He wants them to live the normal life he could no longer have.
He doesn't trust in the capabilities of his loved ones when it comes to defending themselves against the amount of potential threats and dangers he has faced, and yet he cares about them dearly. So, he commits to what seems to be the most practical solution in his mind: Self-Isolation.
To be a distant beacon where danger is attracted to and away from those dear to him.
(As we see in the beginning of Part 3 where he willingly locks himself in jail as soon as he sees himself as the threat, and in Part 6 where he stays away from his family once he realizes his enemies were targeting him).
"Your family is your weakness."
All this leads him to become what Araki always envisioned him to be: A lone hero.
III. Mental
Now onto the last part, this part of the essay will focus more on the popular headcanon the community has made about him: "Jotaro has PTSD."
Considering what he's been through at only 17, it would be no surprise that he'd acquired major trauma after those 50 days. Think about it- he gets injured more times than he can count, almost dies numerous times, sees his grandfather get "killed" in front of him, and all this combined with the constant reminder that his mother's life is also on a time limit. A failure to kill DIO meant a failure to save Holly.
The amount of pressure and risk he had to endure for her (and there will still be people who adamantly believe that he hated Holly because he said "bitch" to her twice in the first two episodes).
Now, remember when I said about him having this mentality of over-independence when dealing with stressors? It was still manageable during Stardust Crusaders, but because of what had transpired in Cairo, that mindset carries on to the rest of his adulthood, more so if we consider that he most likely didn't get any therapy or treatment for his trauma.
It might be normal for a teenager to hold onto this stubborn notion of "I can do this by myself" and be casual about it, but with trauma now involved, that notion warps into a persisting belief of "by doing this myself, no one else will get hurt" (i.e. refusing help, doing solo fieldwork, self-isolation).
But Mijin, you keep saying "mentality" this, "mindset" that. What are you talking about?
There's an old Tumblr post I found that talks specifically about this in great detail, but to put it shortly: Jotaro has always wanted to do things by himself because he believes that not only will the task be done with, there would be no one else involved with it, making it better for him to cope mentally if ever shit hits the fan (tying back to poor emotional expression and insecurity in bonds).
If any injuries were to be inflicted, he would be the one to receive them, and he alone, because who knows how he'll react and/or cope when his allies are harmed instead of him over and over again? (refer to the trauma of Jotaro surviving Cairo while the majority of the team that went with him died a.k.a "survivor's guilt")
(Also, refer to how he had exhibited great distress when Jolyne was about to be struck by a rain of knives that Pucci sent)
This might also be the reason why he's more self-sacrificial as an adult: Will be the bait during the rat episode instead of Josuke, takes the brunt of Sheer Heart Attack's explosion to spare Koichi, dives straight onto a path of bullets to save Jolyne, etc.
The only possible solution so he could snap out of that belief he holds on to is that strong, reliable support system he internally needs. People who can help him without sustaining fatal injuries in the process [social]. People who he can approach to release any pent-up frustrations and inner conflicts [emotional].
If he had found those people, then he might have been able to deal and/or cope with his trauma better instead of letting it linger and change his outlook in life [mental].
But we all know how his life went in canon. One moment he's a kid playing ball with his mother, then in his last, he dies by having his head bisected by a time-altering Stand.
Jotaro is a person with a gold heart and a rough exterior. Someone who wants to help and protect his loved ones from the unpredictability of the world the best that he can. But even then, his best wasn't enough. His fear was masked with an air of strength and capability, perhaps as compensation for everything else he lacked:
Adequate processing of emotions.
Stable connection with familial, platonic, and romantic bonds.
A sound mindset that stems from effective coping for his PTSD.
We could only hope in headcanon land that he had a better chance at life in the Ireneverse where he finally could develop his inner core better and get that long-deserved break he had always wanted.
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