#if past me saw now me she would be very disappointed

[outsidereveries]

hey hows you? different anon but can you do wonyoung view of kpop and her experiences thus far? does she feel that those who follow kpop expect her outward image to always be the same or does she ever want to change it or anything she has experienced? what else would she like to see / do generally? thanks very much! I have grown to like wonyoung I think shes perceived as a pick me when she isnt.

thoughts on her experinces so far | 4 of wands rx, 3 of pentacles rx, the magician, knight of pentacles, 4 of pentacles rx

wonyoung doesn't like her experience in the industry so far. if things were good in her previous group, things are pathetically bad for her in the current one. she can't do anything but compare how she was in izone from time to time to how she is now in ive. she likes her experience in her previous group much more, maybe because she's really interested in writing songs, but it seems like it's not just because of that, because she sees terrible individualism in ive. i feel lesseo right now much more than any other girl in ive, maybe because she saw it the most in her compared to the other girls, but deep down wonyoung hoped that ive would be like izone. she's also disappointed in yujin, but here i see differences in the personalities of the two rather than yujin only caring about herself. as far as i can see what wonyoung thinks about rei in this regard, it seems to me that she hasn't liked her since they met, but then again i see that the case is like yujin's. with liz and gaeul, there is no problem in this regard, as far as i can feel.

thoughts on the k-pop industry | the moon, page of cups, the devil rx, death, 8 of wands

wonyoung sees the dynamics in the industry so far and for her things are changing too fast. she can't catch what's hot and what's not, and sometimes she doesn't even know how to incorporate trends into the content she creates on social media (i see tiktok here). she's not convinced about the things she's doing lately because the company is making her do things she doesn't really want to do. wonyoung is not sure about her other colleagues and i even see her keeping her distance from them (both male and female). she's also watching what's going on between hybe and min heejin because there are some clauses in her contract that she wants to remove or at least change, as she doesn't want to be the most influential, and as i saw a while ago, she just wants creative freedom. over the past months, she doesn't trust both employees and bosses, she's lost any trust she had in the past.

note | this might be the nicest energy i've received from her. if you read tarot or use another divination and ask her questions that are related to how she can be useful in a way, she might suprise you a lot.

26.11.2024

[yeollie-plz]

Fill

Miguel O’Hara x F! Reader

Synopsis: You babysit Mayday, it puts thoughts into Miguel’s head.

Genre: smut!

Warnings: smut, 18+, breeding kink, unprotected sex, pregnancy kink, p in v sex, kissing, biting, fingering, choking, spanking, daddy kink slipped in there at the end

Gif credits to owners!

Miguel was expecting to come home to his beautiful wife, eat some food, maybe make love to her, and bask in each other’s warmth until they fell asleep. What he sure didn’t expect was to come home to said wife babysitting Mayday for Peter. You might have forgotten to mention to Miguel that you were babysitting tonight.

Honestly, you didn’t mention it because you didn’t want him to say no and Peter and MJ really needed the night out. No baby. So now you and your husband were going to have a night in. With a baby.

To say Miguel wasn’t thrilled would be an understatement. He was borderline angry with you at the “slip” of your mind. It’s not like Miguel hated Mayday in any aspect but the thought of you holding a baby brought up strange feelings inside of him.

He had tried for the year that Mayday has been around to try and push those feelings down. But every time he saw you even glance at the baby had him all in a fit. Miguel didn’t think he’d ever be ready for a child again, but seeing you so motherly was changing his mind.

I mean, he didn’t think he’d ever want to get married again and there you were changing his plans.

You two have had the baby talk before, as well. You were always so understanding of his past and never pushed him too far. But he did notice the disappointment on your face when he had said he never wanted kids.

Never? Why had he said never? It was such a harsh conclusion and in recent months, it was one he was regretting making.

He could imagine you now, belly full of his seed, a prominent bump showing what the two of you had made.

Shit. He needed to get those images out of his or he wouldn’t be able to hold back.

Shaking his head Miguel retreated to the kitchen, leaving you to continue to play with the baby uninterrupted. Busying himself with looking through the cabinets, like he wanted to cook something.

“Miggy?” You questioned as you entered the kitchen, Mayday perched on your hip. He turned and took in the sight, imagining what a mini you would look like. He sighed.

“Did you want me to make you something to eat?” You were trying to read the look on his face.

“No.” He grumbled and pushed pass you and into the living room.

“Miguel, I know you’re mad that I didn’t tell you. But it was an honest mistake. Plus, you know I love Mayday and since we-“

“Don’t.” He cut you off. Your mouth snapped closed at what you were about to say. Before you could apologize Miguel made his way to the bedroom, slamming the door closed behind him. You blinked in shock, you didn’t want to start a fight in front of poor little Mayday. This would have to be brought up later.

It was nearing the time that Peter was supposed to arrive to pickup Mayday. You were a bit sad to say goodbye to her but you were also exhausted. Suddenly, you understood why Peter didn’t even change out of his pajamas most days. Especially with a spider baby!

She stuck to everything! And being someone without powers, your knowledge on the matter wasn’t very strong. Sure, you knew a lot about Miguel’s powers but he was what…Spider-Man number 30 out of 1 million? You wished you could ask Miguel for some help.

Eventually you figured out the best way to unstick Mayday was to distract her. Show her a toy, play peekaboo, maybe give her snack. Anything to keep her hands busy and off your ceiling. You hadn’t heard Miguel much through the night. You figured he had gone to sleep or was silently doing some work.

When you agreed to watch Mayday, you hoped the two of you would be able to do this as a team. But obviously, that thought was all wrong.

Peter came about 30 minutes later, knocking on your door. Miguel heard the door open, a few words being exchanged, and a rush of thank yous as the door shut once again. In a few quick steps you were moving across the house and throwing open the bedroom door. Miguel’s wife was not happy.

��Really Miggy? Slamming my doors now?” Usually the tone of her voice would make Miguel instantly apologize but he was too wound up to care.

“Yes I’m slamming our doors!” His voice was slightly raised as he gave a lackluster response, cringing at himself.

“All this and because I decided to help Peter out! You know they never get to go out. We are their friends Miguel, we should be helping them out!”

“I don’t mind helping out our friends, but this favor…I just.” He groans, running his face across his face and through his hair. His usually tight posture, slumping in exasperation.

“What Miggy? What is so aggravating about that little baby?” Your hands were on your hips, face turning red with your increasing anger. He was not going to get away with throwing this tantrum.

“It’s not the baby that is aggravating! It’s me seeing you with the baby!” His eyes soften as he admits the truth.

You were shocked, not understanding the meaning behind his words, “I’m the aggravating one?”

“No! Mi amor, it’s how I can’t get the thought of you round and pregnant out of my mind. The image of you running around chasing a child that we created. I thought after everything that I would never want that again but…”

It finally clicks, “You’re mad we don’t have a baby!”

“I’m mad I’m not inside you right now putting a baby in you” His eyes darken and rake across your form.

He crosses the room in three long strides, wrapping his arm around your waist pulling your body into his. His lips ghost along your neck, his hot breath creating goosebumps on your skin.

His mouth reaching your ear, whispering, “Do you want that? Want me to get you pregnant, baby?”

You can only whimper in response, which eggs Miguel on further, finally connecting his lips to yours. Desperation coats the kiss as he basically devours you.

He nips at your lower lip, pulling away. Looking down at you he takes a step back, your body reacts instinctively and tries to close the distance again. He stops you by cupping your clothed core. A strangled noise passes your lips as he uses his other hand to pull your dress over your head.

“Mmm, wore this like you knew I’d want easy access. Always so eager for this cock, hm?” His deep voice and words cause you to get even wetter.

The hand on your core moves a bit to tease you. He feels your wetness, moaning in satisfaction.

“I might not even need to prep you, baby. Wanna breed you like you weren’t meant to be bred.”

His hand grips your neck leading you towards the bed. The hand now makes it way behind your neck and brings your lips to his once again. The force causes you to moan.

“Why don’t you get on all fours for me?” He says it like a question, but you know it’s a command.

You do as you were told and get onto the bed on your hands and knees. You let your knees naturally rest a bit apart, knowing that he will just adjust you if he needs it. A hand runs down your spine, sending a shiver down with it. It reaches your ass and gives a squeeze before landing a firm smack there. Suddenly you hear a rip and feel your wet core exposed to the cool air. You glance down realizing that he had torn off your underwear.

You gasp, “Miggy!” Usually you would’ve found this extremely hot, if those weren’t your favorite panties!

“I’ll buy you new ones. Besides until you’re pregnant you’re not leaving this bed. You won’t be needing panties for a while.” Okay, now it’s hot again.

He doesn’t wait for you to respond and inserts a finger inside of you. He pumps the finger in and out quickly, testing how wet you are.

“Already all wet and ready for me. Just how I like you.”

Quickly, he pulls the finger out and before you can even protest at the loss he pushes his dick fully inside of you to the hilt. Another gasp passes your lips at the intrusion. He gives you no time to adjust before setting a pace, ravaging your body with his thick cock.

He continues his assault, pushing deep inside of you before pulling out almost completely and repeating the action. The force of his thrusts are making it hard for you to think, let alone hold yourself up. But when you start to fall to your elbows, his hand is quickly wrapped around your throat holding you up.

“Have you at the perfect angle, can feel all of you.” Is all he says as his fingers tighten on your throat. Your vision goes black from the intense pleasure.

He fucks into you harder as the pressure of his fingers releases slowly, letting some air back into your lungs. When you have enough air, you are moaning out as a particular thrust hits the perfect spot.

“Miggy please, need you to make me cum. Need your cum in me.”

His large body incapsulates yours at your confession. The hand that was on your throat makes it way down to your clit, rubbing circles into it. His teeth bite down into your shoulder, sending a shock of pleasure through you as you cum hard onto his cock.

The clenching of your orgasm causes him to groan and falter a bit, before he regains his head and pace.

“Mmm, gonna cum in you baby. Gonna make you a mommy.” He says as he shoots his seed into your awaiting womb. His orgasm seems longer and stronger than usual as he bites your shoulder once again.

After he recovers, he releases your throat, letting you fall into the plush sheets. Miguel slides out of you and pulls your body into his. He rubs your back in slow circles, calming you both down.

Eventually you speak up, “So what do you think? Think it worked, daddy?” Lust drips from your voice at the name.

“Fuck, maybe, and even if it didn’t I’m ready to go again. Just want you so full of my cum that you can feel it with every breath.”

And fill you he did.

[rafesaddiction]

It's still not cheating when he's your best friend – Rafe Cameron x Reader (Part 2)

See here for part 1

Summary: You're excited to see your favorite band live. But a fight with your boyfriend threatens to cancel the trip, until someone you don’t expect to see, saves the day: your best friend Rafe Cameron.

Concept: best friend, only nice to her

Warnings: mdni! – smut, fingering, public, (kinda) dubcon, cheating (reader cheats on boyfriend), hints at a toxic relationship, name calling (reader is called slut), protective!rafe

Word count: 3.1k

a/n The past weeks have been really hard for me due to health issues. But I've finally been able to write again. I had fun writing this and I hope you won’t be disappointed reading it. Please let me know your thoughts.

Taglist @dream-pink @dope-trope-105 @rafeinterlude @baby19sthings @yootvi @aaronhotchswife @lilo7sworld

He almost ruined it. For months, you had been looking forward to seeing one of your favorite bands at the beach festival. The day before the concert, your boyfriend told you he didn't want to go and he didn't want you to go either. You had a fight that started over something stupid and ended with him accusing you that you just wanted to go to the festival so you could run around naked and fool around with guys, like the slut you were. You cried when he stormed out and shut your dorm room’s door with a bang. You cried all night.

Your boyfriend was supposed to be the driver. And now on top of all the personal pain you were feeling, you had to explain to your friends that you no longer had a ride to the festival. Neither you nor one of your friends owned a car. You tried to get your parents' car, but they needed it themselves. In the group chat you discussed all kinds of possibilities, until one of your friends wrote that he had organized a car. Everyone cheered at that, and even you, despite of all those tears that kept running down your face, were relieved that you and your friends could make the trip. You not only wanted to see the band play, more important to you was to get out with your friend and forget about the argument you and your boyfriend had.

Your friend also mentioned that the car's owner would join us to the festival, to which everyone naturally agreed and was excited. You even promised to bake cookies for the mysterious hero.

But you didn’t expect it to be him. You could have guessed because that friend also went to high school with you and they had been friends then. Still, it was kind of a shock and you froze when you saw a familiar car on the parking lot next to the dorms. The Cameron family SUV.

You hadn't talked to him since that one night. That one night that should have never happened. That one night that had been the best night of your life. That one night when you had had the best sex of your life with your best friend, Rafe Cameron.

Rafe wasn't much of a texter, but he had texted you. You had written six different replies and never sent one. You had wanted to write him or call him several times. Like last night when your boyfriend had made you cry again. Suddenly you were very aware of how you must look. Your eyes all puffy from the crying.

Rafe was at the back of the car, loading bags into the trunk with the friend who had invited him to this trip.

He hadn't seen you yet, his back was turned towards you, and you were glad about it, because you didn't know what to say, didn't know how to feel. So you were more than relieved when one of your friends arrived shortly after you, pulled you in a hug and decided that you two could already get into the car which was much cooler than standing around in the burning sun, while you could leave it to the guys to load your stuff into the car.

You sat in the middle of the backseat, your friend to your right. She started chatting right away and you felt somewhat relieved that she didn't comment on your boyfriend's absence nor your puffy eyes. Shortly after, the rest of your group arrived, you were six altogether, and luckily the SUV was really comfortable – more comfortable than your boyfriend's old minivan.

Rafe got into the driver's seat, and for a moment, he looked at you through the rearview mirror, before you turned your attention to your friend, as you felt your heart skipping a beat at that moment. You were unsure whether you saw a smile flash over his face, and you didn't dare to look again to check, afraid your face might reveal too much of your inner turmoil.

Though the drive took several hours, time flew by quickly. You had been right. It was good being with your friends and having fun. Everyone was in a good mood, the music was good, there was lively chatting and laughter, there was drinking and snacking, and even stupid car games were played. You might have been a little quieter than usual, but no one seemed to notice – no one except Rafe, who again and again looked at you through the mirror, but never directly spoke to you.

The parking lot of the festival site was already quite full, but Rafe managed to find a good spot for the car. When you got out of the car, you stretched your arms and felt the sun on your skin. It was a very hot day and the car had been nicely air-conditioned. Since it was so hot and the festival was on the beach anyway, your friends and you decided to just wear your bathing suits. You got out of your jeans shorts and shirt, as you were wearing your bikini underneath. You saw Rafe take off his shirt, and one of your guy friends commented that he should put it back on as it would make them all look like total wimps compared to him. There was laughter and Rafe smirked as he casually flexed his chest muscles. It was true. Rafe did look fitter than most guys. It wasn't too much muscles, but he was big and looked strong. Sometimes you thought he looked too good to be real, like a statue of some Greek god… Rafe had caught you staring at him and you quickly averted your gaze, feeling heat crawling to your face.

Since everyone was hungry, your friends and you decided to get some pizza and drinks, and after that more drinks. Everyone was relaxed and had a good time. You smiled a lot – except when you looked at your phone and saw the notifications. Your boyfriend had sent you several texts and voice mails. You didn't open them, you had already seen in the preview window what those texts were about. Obviously he hadn't calmed down. If anything he was even more angry, even more hurtful in his messages.

When looking at the phone, you also saw the time. The band you wanted to see was about to play soon. You asked your friends to go with you closer to the stage, but no one really wanted to move. They said you could hear the music perfectly well from their current spot, besides the booze was here. To that everyone cheered and raised their cups. Everyone but Rafe.

“I’ll go with you.”

“You don't have to. You can stay here, enjoy yourself. I'll just go on my own.”

“Quit that bullshit,” he said and came closer, he had put his cup away. “I'm going with you. So you won't get lost in the crowd. Besides, I know how much you want to see your third favorite band live.”

“You remember,” you gazed up at him, who stood now directly in front of you. You had to shield your eyes since the sun was shining so brightly, but you could definitely see a smile on his lips.

“Of course, I remember,” he said in a low voice, almost whispering and you couldn't help it, you gasped for air.

The smile on his lips turned into a smirk as he continued, “How could I ever forget you dancing to that one song for like all of junior year, hm? You're gonna do that dance again? Wouldn't wanna miss that.”

And he started moving his hips and his arms in a weird clumsy rhythm, imitating what was supposed to be you dancing. It looked ridiculous and you had to laugh.

You punched his shoulder. “Stop that. That's not how I dance.”

He kept on moving in that awkward way and you tried hard to stop laughing – suddenly feeling lighter and more relaxed than you had in weeks – since that night.

You crossed your arms in front of your chest and pushed out your lips, pouting, but couldn't fight the giggles, as Rafe tried some elaborate pirouette which caused him to stumble, but he stopped, directly in front of you. All of a sudden he was calm and there was something so soft in his features which you knew he rarely ever showed anyone.

“Let's go,” it was almost a whisper, then he added in a louder voice. “We don't want to miss that song and that dance.”

You punched his chest, your hand almost hurting as it hit the hard muscle – and felt his hot skin. But you let him take your hand and lead you from the group of your friends who were engrossed in some conversation of their own. His strong hand holding yours felt good, it felt right. Rafe was your best friend. He was the one you trusted most, he was the one who made you laugh, no matter what.

Rafe walked towards the stage and tugged you along with him. When there were more and more people around, he pulled you close to his body. Still holding one of your hands, his palm touched your back as he walked behind you, keeping you very close. He made sure you didn't get lost in the crowd. His body shielded you from anyone bumping into you or spilling their drinks on you.

The place got more and more crowded and he had to slow down. You turned your head to look at him.

“This is okay,” you said.

Rafe frowned as he looked at you. “No, it's not. We're going to the front row.”

“No, Rafe, this is totally okay. I can see enough from here.”

His frown deepened. “No, you can't. You're too tiny.”

At that comment you frowned. “I’m not tiny. You're just a giant,” you said and wanted to punch him with your free hand, but you didn't have enough space to move your arm, so you just ended up placing your palm on his chest. Feeling his hard muscle, feeling his hot skin, and his heart beating. He placed his hand on yours and your breathing hitched.

Rafe held you even tighter to his body as he proceeded to walk to the stage. His strong arms held you, protected you. And despite all these people around you, you only felt him, his presence, his closeness, all around you. Your skin tingled where it touched his, and that tingling grew stronger and became something else. Something that went so much deeper. And you felt a too familiar pulsing in your core.

Some people complained and pushed and shoved, but one look at Rafe’s face and stature and they made room for you and him. He really managed to secure a spot in the front row for you, right in the middle and you got the perfect view of the stage, standing directly behind the first barrier. Only a few feet of empty space separated you from the stage. Rafe was standing directly behind you, his hands to both sides of you, resting on the rail, his arms caging you in – shielding you.

You wanted to turn and thank him, but in that moment the band entered the stage and started playing their first song. You were captivated by their performance and the great atmosphere their music created. There was cheering, singing, dancing all around you. People were pushing and shoving, but you only felt a fraction of that as Rafe's body pressed closer to yours. He was shielding you from all the crowd's wilder movements, while you could enjoy being part of this experience safely.

You even danced a bit, your back rubbing against Rafe's front. When you craned your neck to look back at him, you saw him grin. And you felt a grin on your own face.

The set list was great too. They played all your favorite songs and the lead singer managed to put some kind of spell on the audience when they played a couple of slower songs. Or that spell was just on you, and not caused by the singer, but by something or someone else.

You leaned back a little, your head resting against Rafe's broad chest, feeling his heart beat. You closed your eyes and your hips swayed to the slow rhythm of the song. Your skin touched his skin. And you didn't mind the thin film of sweat covering his body from the heat of the bright sun and the crowded place. You smelled his scent so intensely, it made you almost forget where you were. It just made you feel.

Your eyes opened, your upper body leaned forward, resting your arms on the barrier. You watched the singer putting all his emotions into each and every note. Goosebumps crawled over your skin. But it wasn't from the singer's raspy voice. Rafe's hand touched your hip. Your back arched a little as your butt was pushed back. You gasped. Rafe's hand rubbed over your butt cheek, you felt the rough palm, the long fingers, the cool metal of his ring on your skin. The touch was light, too light, too gentle, too soft. Your mouth opened, but all sounds were drowned by the music and the noise of the people.

His fingertips, just his fingertips, tenderly touched the back of your thigh, moved to the inside of your leg. They moved up and one finger rubbed over the fabric of your bikini bottoms. It was like scratching and you flinched, but that didn't make him withdraw his hand. Instead, the finger pushed harder, pushed to part your folds, pushed to tease you, while the layer of clothes still was between you and his digit.

You felt heat rushing through your body, neither caused by the sun nor by the heat of the people moving around you. You did not perceive any of them. You just felt him, while your eyes were directed at the band on stage performing their emotional song.

Rafe’s finger moved along your slit with pressure. Through your bikini panties his fingertip was able to find your most sensitive spot at once and he began teasing it mercilessly. No one heard it, but you were sure, Rafe felt that you were moaning. You felt a growing need that threatened to take over all your senses. As if he knew that, felt that, perceived that, Rafe pushed the fabric aside – tantalizingly slow. And his fingers found you wet and yearning for his touch. A mewling sound escaped your lips as a finger pushed inside you. You felt your walls clench around the digit. And you felt Rafe tense behind you and you were sure you heard a groan.

The song had changed, you only now realized, its rhythm was faster, wilder. And so was Rafe's touch. His finger thrust into you, stretching your tightness, pushing deep, making you squirm. Your hands gripping the metal of the barrier for support. Your legs started shaking as Rafe added a second finger and began fucking you with his digits. He curled them inside you and your head went back to your neck as you moaned shamelessly. He pulled his fingers out completely, just to push them into you even deeper. Again and again.

The song grew louder, harder, fiercer – and so did his finger-fucking you. Your body trembled, your voice was hoarse and you were whining now. He pushed you further and further, closer and closer to the edge.

Then, all of a sudden, he leaned over you – maybe he was pushed by the crowd jumping about, maybe he needed to feel you closer too – and you could feel his hardness press against your back. You pressed your eyes shut as your climax hit you, hit you hard. The wave swept you away and carried you to another place, where all you did was feel, feel this, feel him.

His fingers fucked you through your orgasm. He had wrapped his arm around you, was holding you close to his body, and thus was also keeping you from falling, since your legs were shaking and you feared you no longer could trust them to support you.

Slowly he pulled his fingers out. And even though you still felt echoes of your high, this also left a feeling of emptiness inside you. A longing that was always there if he wasn't inside you.

You felt his breath close to your ear and heard him say something, but the music drowned his words. You turned your head, looking at him with hooded eyes and saw him lick his fingers.

The rest of the concert felt like in a haze. Rafe kept his arm around you, holding you close, while you watched the band play but could only listen to his heart beat, as your body was still shivering.

When the show ended, people started moving and Rafe took a step back to give you room to turn around to him.

“Thirsty?” he asked you, and you just nodded, not trusting your voice.

His hand on your back, Rafe guided you through the crowd back to your friends, and you had to admit to yourself that you wouldn't have found them on your own.

Rafe ordered something to drink for you at the nearby bar while you stood with your friends. One of them commented that you were glowing and that you looked totally blissed out. You touched your cheek and felt the heat, and felt that smile on your face. She asked if the show had been that good and you replied that it had been amazing. Your voice was hoarse and she suspected it was from you singing along with the band so loudly all the time. You didn't comment on that, just felt another wave of heat going through your body. As you turned, your eyes met Rafe's. A little smirk on his lips as he put a cup into your hand and took a swig out of his own.

[bokettochild]

Just saw the update!

So, first thoughts!

Gremlin Legend and Sky is something I am LIVING for. Sky's little look of approval as he stands between Wars and Legend after that little move is sending me!

(Wild is not impressed)

I also really love that JoJo played with Warriors' cape/scarf being capable of doing that, which is a major risk btw, but I love that we see it's potential now!

Like, Legend's timing is perfect (and I love that this confirms the Legend v. Wars dynamic we all love) especially considering Hyrule was literally talking about the same thing and you'd THINK Captain-War-Hero over here would be more cautious because of it (although the fact this implies Legend doesn't trigger Warriors danger sense is GREAT for the fluff fic writers like me!)

Time and Wars looking like disappointed parents though is brilliant

(Warriors with messy hair is so funny to me, help)

The continued portrayal of Time being too harsh with the boys, all tense after what happened to Twilight, that's great. i'm glad the consequences of past events are following them, it really makes this all feel linear!

I also am ALL HERE for the boys finding their differences! Warriors and Wild both admitting to being new to dungeon crawling and the monsters involved is a great thing we've all been playing with in fics, but making it cannon feels like validation :)

Also, Warriors being defensive of that, and maybe a bit prickly about their judgement, I think it shows a lot of him. he's got his pride,a although he's learned to tame it. He's feeling a bit miffed to realize how different he is, but doesn't want them seeing him as lesser as well (although they never would). I can also hear him using a clipped military sort of tone when speaking here. It's just the way his words are selected and strung together that makes it seem he's being very to the point, direct, and cold in his tone, which really sells the whole difference between a soldier and the "average nobody" that the rest of them were (ironic, since he's trying to act like the difference isn't a big deal but only further accentuates it this way).

Twilight being pleased that Epona is fine and just enjoying a meal made me grin so big though. He's all worried for his girl but she is, quite literally, happy as a horse over there LOL

Also, this bit:

recognition for Sky's right-handedness, my beloved! (JoJo is giving us all the easter eggs!)

The fact that the passage is too small to let them all fight though is a brilliant way of preventing some of our heavy hitters and more skilled heroes from being able to do anything though!

I like how that gives us the chance to see Time one-shot the foe and also gives him the impression that the rest are maybe not skilled enough to do this alone. WE all know they are, but they're a handicap to each other right now, and it's only further cementing in his mind that they're not ready for all this, which will make his overbearing speech and the judgement he casts on them in combat all the more an issue.

I mean, we all know the hero's shade was like that, but JoJo has shown Time acting this way from the start

(Deep Shadows P.2)

(Likelike)

So I guess we're in for more of that now, and most likely someone (probably Legend, as it's usually him, or Wind, who is very aware of judgement from teh rest) is definitely going to have to call him on it soon, maybe in the dungeon. Will that lead to some bonding with Time where he has to admit he cares and worries about them as though they're his own? I hope so!

Anyways, all this to say, we really are seeing how much they struggle to work together, so hopefully this dungoen will teach them all how to do that better, as Time mentioned earlier

(Dawn p.8)

Now, to finish it off!I would like to thank JoJo for giving us so many beautiful shots of Twi this time around. I'll admit it now, he's pretty darn fine <3

That said, I'm loving the Legend content too! i hope we get to see some more starring moments from him going forwards, what with him being the dungeon veteran and all! It's great seeing his childish/playful side these last few updates, but I'm really craving some veteran Legend right now >:)

[ilyrafe]

after seeing so much one direction content these past couple of days, it got me thinking. one direction really was the last boyband to ever happen. no one will ever come close to what they did in only six years. it’s a once in a generation kind of thing to happen. they didn’t even win the x factor and ended up being the show’s biggest act, 14 years later.

yes, they were manufactured, but at the same time, they were the least manufactured band to ever exist in recent times. they didn’t dance, they weren’t actually meant to be a band, they got everything they had because of charisma and talent. these boys were so talented and charismatic. they didn’t really dress the same, they were working class teenagers with a dream and they did it. and it was beautiful.

after seeing their statements, it’s finally downing on me that one direction is really over and i will never see all five of them together again. 11 year old me is absolutely devastated, and so is 24, almost 25 year old me.

the fangirl in me never went anywhere, it turns out. i still have my 1d concert tickets (the only one i went to and zayn was still in the band!), my albums and dvds, books, theater tickets and every once in a while i would take them out of the box and reminisce of the good old days, never thinking i would mourn one of them so soon. i genuinely thought i would be way older when they would go.

i can’t help but feel so sad that liam’s last years were so erratic and horrible. he was hurting deeply and he deeply hurt other people, and there is no excuse for what he did. i mourn what he once was, what he could have been and how it all ended up being. i take maya’s allegations seriously and i encourage you to do the same. what she is going through right now is impossible to imagine.

for those saying they’re glad “an abuser died”, think about what you’re saying. his death helps no one. his victims will never get justice, he will not take accountability for his actions. no one will ever get closure.

for those saying they feel bad for hating or mocking him, you really should. he was called an opportunist for showing up at the boys’ concerts and yet, when harry would do it, everyone loved it.

liam wasn’t perfect, he fucked up a lot, but like anyone, he had the right to, at the very least, apologize. 31 is too young, and no one deserves to go like this.

all i think about is his little son, who will grow up without his dad. no kid should ever lose their parent, especially at such an young age. the fact that he never once exposed his son to the media (like many celebrities do) to protect his privacy tells me that he loved his boy and knew all too well the damage this exposure would cause.

i saw that some 1d songs are trending again, and as much as i would love to take the day to listen to them, it is too soon. i haven’t been able to watch friends since matthew perry died, haven’t been able to watch brooklyn 99 since andre bragher died and will not be able to listen to 1d for a while.

it’s too soon.

call me dramatic, i don’t really care. the most magical part of my adolescence has ended tragically and i am really at a loss.

for those who are conflicted as i am, take your time. it is okay to be sad he’s gone and, at the same time, feel disappointed or even angry. it is okay to mourn and, at the same time, support maya.

edit: i would also like to express my support to his parents, sisters, cheryl, kate and friends.

[aemondwhoresworld]

SOUVENIR

pairing: cregan stark x fem!reader

summary: what will happen when lord stark's wife or maybe his son, reckon found a souvenir from his old lover?

warning: minor angst, jealousy, mention of an ex-lover, use of y/n, cregan is a single dad, y/n’s lord stark second wife

word-count: 1k

mae: english is not my native language, please forgive my lag of grammar. i do use google for a translation, if any reader could help me fix some of the grammar or vocab, that would be great and i’m very appreciate it!! 🤗⭐️ this is my first fic, please forgive me if i made any mistake. i might delete soon (idk if rhis was too flop 🤗)

you and Cregan have been weds for 36 moons. although you are Cregan's second wife, Cregan has always treated you with nothing but respect, love that every lady wife deserve that affection from their lord husband, even when you know that the betroth between you and him are duty, beneficial for both houses but you cannot help but falling for him more and more. the begin of the 5 moons into your marriage life, both admitted you had feelings for the other.

right now, in the middle of winter season in Winterfell, sitting in front of the fireplace inside your and Cregan's chambers, with your favorite book open in your hand along with all the thoughts of those sweet moment that you have had with Cregan and Rickon.

“mommy, mommy look what i found” even you are not his real mom, Rickon still always call you mommy. Rickon's clear voice pulled you out of those thoughts and immediately all your attention is on Rickon holding a handkerchief in his hand, you take it from Rickon's little hands and ask

“oh what did you find Rickon, can you show it to me?” you asked softly, the boy also nodded in agreement, opened the handkerchief and you immediately saw that there were seams and very skillful embroidery inside, and of course this handkerchief did not belong to you because you had no memory of embroidering a handkerchief to give to Cregan as a gift before or not from what you remeber

when you look a bit closer at the embroidered lines, its shape resembles a man and woman, hands in hands. at this moment, you immediately recognize the male figure in the scarf is Cregan because of the Stark family's signature scarf and then when you look at women figure, you wonder who is the girl standing next to your husband?

but then a small knock on your chambers door interupted

“my lady, Lord Cregan Stark wants to meet you in the dining hall,” said the maid, Anza. before the Anza can leave the chambers, you called for her and asked about the handkerchief.

“Anza, do you know who is standing next to my husband in this embroidered scarf?” you gently asked while pointing at the embroidery. when Anza didn't answer your question, you turned to look at her with curious eyes.

"what’s up? is there something i shouldn't know about?”

“no, my lady,” she continued, “if you really want to know, i’ll tell you.”

“then just tell me then” you said

“my lady, it's Lady Celess Ashwood. an interest lover of Lord Stark.”

hearing this, you were a bit disappointed, but you had to regain your composure, stand up and tell Anza to take Rickon back his chambers because it was time for him to rest. you walked out of your shared chamber, went straight to the dining hall where Cregan was already sitting there and waiting for you, all the way from your chamber to the dining hall, holding that handkerchief in your hand with lots and lots of thoughts running through your mind

does he really love you?

or is it because he still misses his past lover?

there are so many thoughts that make you go to the dining hall without even knowing when, with a handkerchief in your hand.

“y/n” Cregan stood up, walked towards you with a gentle smile on his face, Cregan's hands gently hugged your waist, then he bowed down his head and gave a kiss on your forehead, a kiss filled with love.

“Cregan” you said and gently leaned into Cregan's hug. then you asked him

“who is Celess Ashwood?” Cregan was a bit surprised when he heard this name, its been awhile since he last heard this name but he calmly answered

“how do you know this name?” Cregan asked you with a warm voice, his toned arms still not leaving your waist. still holding onto you tightly like he was afraid that if he let go you would be blown away by the cold, strong winds of Winterfell.

“please, cregan answer my question first.”

“Celess is…” he hesitated a bit, as if he didn't want to say it

“Celess is someone i once had feelings for, someone i once loved.”

“so you still miss her? that’s why you didn't want to say it, right, my Lord Stark?" You asked Cregan with a slightly disappointed voice, tears welling up in the corners of your eyes

“please call me Cregan, we are man and wife there are need to call me that” he continue

“and no, i don't want to mention it, not because i don't want you to know, but because i think it's not important anymore. now i have you and Rickon by my side, that is my first priority.”

“then why did you still keep this handkerchief?” you continue to ask him

"i didn't keep it, love. i thought i lost it so i had no intention of finding it again."

after hearing Cregan say that, you can’t say that your moods change completly but atleast you felt relieve when you learned that your suspicions about his loyalty were completely wrong.

“well, i forgave you my husband but unfortunately for you, Rickon is the one who found it and gave it to me.”

“oh my son, Rickon is always on your’s side. i pray to the Seven one day you will gave me a daughter” Cregan joked, then pulled you in a tight embrace. then you ask

“so you have to quickly plant your seed inside me, hopefully the Seven might heard your pray sooner or later, my dear husband.” at this point, you could only laugh, only now did you pay attention to it. the dining table in the dining hall was filled with food and Cregan let you out of that warm hug

“but before we start to try and bring another baby Stark into this Winterfell, we must have to to eat first, my dear y/n.”

[asumi2020202]

The Right Choice

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x reader(slight), Daeron Targaryen x reader

Summary: After everything that has happened, you thought he would change. Only for him to inflict a bigger scar as your hope for this marriage vanishes into thin air.

A/n:Thank you for reading.

Alternate ending of: Everything has a Price to Pay

_______________________________ฅ⁠^⁠•⁠ﻌ⁠•⁠^⁠ฅ__

War was at its peak. It had been almost two weeks since the last time you met Aemond in your shared chambers. Your wounds had healed leaving behind just some aches.

You knew that he didn't speak the truth. The informer of the green, Larys Strong had informed them that Aemond had returned to Harrehal. And that his whore was pregnant with his bastard.

You knew he would do so. You knew he would not be able to keep his word. Because if he truly was faithfully, then he wouldn't had slept with her in the first place.

You didn't really feel anything. You were disappointed,Yes, but you wouldn't hold him back if he did love her. You had your son and your family.

Instead of being dissatisfied with his actions and crying over it, you thought of asking your eldest brother to annul the marriage.

Aemond had broken the gentle girl you once were. The pain and betrayal numbed your mind. No longer did you care of what the others would say.

_________________________________________

Word had been sent to the Red Keep from Harrehal that Prince Aemond would bring back his whore to the Keep.

Your numbed soul hurt. Alicent didn't even want to call him her son but she couldn't deny it.

He had stated that a room should be prepared for... Alys. The name of his whore.

You simply couldn't stand the thought of being with him again. Not when that perpetrator would also stay with his whore inside your very home.

You asked the maids to shift your belongings and your son's to another room. Your mother, the dowager queen had told you to stay with Helaena since Aegon doesn't sleep with her.

She thought that since both of you had the same fate, you could find comfort in each other.

You had agreed. Hastily leaving the room along with your son to find your eldest brother, the king.

_________________________________________

Aemond had landed near the dragon pit. He got off of Vhagar before carefully taking Alys off of Vhagar as well.

Alys had tried to touch Vhagar. Trying to pet her like Aemond does but Vhagar gave a loud and angry growl. And almost tried to bite her before Aemond intervened.

Alys fearful of the dragon, hid behind Aemond.

He turned and saw Moonfyre giving a very angry and loud scream towards them before both the female dragons flew off in the sky.

Aemond, turning his gaze back to Alys, guided her inside.

_________________________________________

As he walked through the garden and inside the corridors, he could see you talking to someone. It was a man. He too had white hair like him and was tall like him.

Aemond asked a passing maid to escort Alys to her room before he saw you coming towards his direction. The man going the opposite direction.

As you tried your hard to walk past Aemond and avoid him, he grabbed your hand.

"Y/n.." he started.

You turned to look at him. He felt a pang of hurt in his chest. Your eyes looked hollow unlike the way it shined when you conversed with the other man.

" It was just one night . I didn't think she would get pregnant. I couldn't leave her there, knowing our enemies might attack any time. I really am guilted. I didn't wish to hurt you love. Please forgive me." He spoke, looking at your face as you looked outside.

"I'm sorry I couldn't satisfy you. That you sought out another woman for pleasure." You said. He was about to speak but you didn't give him the chance.

"From now on you can live with her. I hold no grudge. After all, it is my fault for not being able to hold my husband to myself.

But don't worry you can love her as much you wish from now. You and I will only be related through blood and name, nothing else. I already found someone who will love me."

"My love. I don't understand what you mean. Found another? We are married. I am your husband and you are my wife." He spoke up, hoping you didn't mean what he thought you mean. Anger and jealousy in his voice.

"No longer. I had asked Aegon to annul our marriage after you're raven arrived. And he did so. The whole of kings landing knows of what you did brother. The council has decided that me and my twin will marry each other so I can be relieved of the shame you bestowed upon me. Daeron and I did loved each other before he was sent to old town.

Now that I am no longer bound to you, I am free to marry him and my son does need a father. Aegon assured me that my son will be acknowledged by the people as mine and Daeron's son, as the people haven't seen Aenor yet. You would be wise to not disturb us." You spoke with venom as you walked away.

Annul the marriage? Your twin? When did Daeron return from old town? Aenor will be claimed as Daeron's son. His younger brother.

So many thoughts went around Aemond's head. He had messed up everything just for pleasure. He lost the only who loved him for who he was and now she left him along with his son.

Defeated, he asked a maid to escort him to where Alys was.

_________________________________________

All the family had gathered in the dining hall. Aemond came in and saw everyone already chatting and conversing. His eyes looked for you until they did find you.

In your right sat Helaena, conversing with you. And on your left, in his seat, sat Daeron.. he saw how the two of you held hands and occasionally smiled at each other.

His thoughts were disturbed as he felt a tugging on his arm. It was Alys.

The entire family's laughter and peace was stopped due to the unwanted face in the dining hall.

"Brother. I thought that this hall was only for family, you had been the one to tell me that. And yet you bring some whore here. Aren't you acting hypocritical?" Aegon said. Giving a disgusted look towards Alys.

Aegon noticed your discomfort with Alys present. He knew he treated his wife the same but Helaena was weird to him. Yet you... were his perfect little sister.

Aegon had completely changed after becoming the king. He couldn't quit drinking but he didn't go to brothels.

"Alys will be eating with us from now on. And I suggest you show her some respect." Aemond replied as Alys looked down.

"Suggest? Hah!" Aegon laughed. "Are you trying to intimidate me brother? I am the king. Your whore is of little worth to me." Aegon continued.

"Aegon." Alicent tried to stop her son. She got up from her seat and came around the table at your side and gently placed her hand on your arm.

"I could behead you and whore at once for the shame you brought to the house and my sister." Aegon said as Aemond had nothing to reply with. He only looked at your face as you turned away.

"Guards. Escort prince Aemond and that.... Witch! to their chambers." Aegon ordered as the said people were escorted away.

You looked at Daeron as he offered you a smile which you reciprocated and intertwined your hands together.

_________________________________________

"How could you?! You ruined everything that I had! Just to cover up one lie of yours! You decieved me!!"

"I'm sorry Aemond but I needed money to raise my child! I had to do it. I am sorry if I hurt you.. but I do accept that I never loved you to begin with."

Hurt?! You took everything from me! My child! My wife! My family!.. And now you tell me that... The child is not even mine?!!

Shouting could be heard throughout the castle.

Alys had been secretly seeing and writing to her lover. Not Aemond. Aemond had accidentally seen them kissing when he entered the room.

She confessed that she was pregnant before they even laid with each other. That the child was of her lover's.

Aemond in a fit of rage even slapped her when she told him that she only stayed with him for money to run away with her lover.

Aemond felt betrayed. Just as he felt when his father didn't take his side when he lost his eye. He felt blocked from all sides. Because of his mistake, no one in his family believes him anymore.

He ran out the door as fast as he could. He hastily reached the dragon pit and mounted Vhagar.

He took off to the place where Aegon had been coronated. As got off and pushed through the crowd. Tears flowed from his eye.

There you stood before the crowd. You and Daeron. As the High Septon finished his speech. You lips and palms were already cut. By the time he reached, you two were drinking from the cup.

He saw the way you both kissed eachother so lovingly, the same way he did when you both got married. But now he had to see his brother do that to you.

His mother, the dowager Queen. His brother, the king. His grandsire, the Hand. His sister, the Queen. All stood there and smiled. The crowd were cheering. Yet Aemond felt bitter.

_________________________________________

The Dowager Queen and The Hand had left for the Red Keep along with the King and the Queen.

Daeron was mounting Tessarion and you Moonfyre. Aemond ran to meet you. As he did, you looked down at him.

"It isn't mine. That child isn't mine." Aemond spoke. He was panting, having to run all the way to you.

"Oh that.. I already knew. Helaena told me 2 days after I last met you." You spoke calmly.

"Already knew?" He felt confused.

"Well if my mind serves properly, Helaena told me through her riddle 'The one who he sacrificed for is not his own.' "

Aemond didn't even know what to say, so you spoke for him.

"Brother..... I know it was a mistake you made. I won't blame you for seeking love hence I forgive you for what you did but I don't know if mother will. I am thankful to you." You spoke.

"Why would you thank me for what I did?" Aemond didn't understand what you said.

"I am thankful because for your mistake I was reunited with my twin, my husband. I blindly thought I loved you but it seems that I was wrong. I can only give you one advice... Move on." You said the last sentence coldly, not sparing him even a glance. And with that Moonfyre and Tessarion flew into the sky, roaring from above.

Aemond stood there, his one eye saw your pain and anguish. His tears fell endlessly as he stared into the sky.

_________________________________________

You stood near the corridor of the second floor, staring at the training yard. While your husband, Daeron, cradled your son to his chest.

You turned to your husband as he gently kissed you with one hand cupping your cheek and tilting your head up.

"I am to go get a dragon egg for my little princess." Daeron said as his eyes travel to your stomach.

"Princess? How do you know it'll be a girl? I am betting a barrel of wine that it'll be a boy. Mother's intuition." You replied to your husband, smirking at him.

"Let's see who will win. The father or the mother." Daeron spoke, giving you his kinky smile. You got on your toes to kiss his cheek as you both were leaving for your chambers.

Beknownst to you, Aemond had seen everything you two were doing. He felt hurt. Hurt because he couldn't experience it. Hurt because he saw how happy you were with his brother. He regretted everything he had done that day. The day he laid with the whore.

He saw you both leaving. While he was blinking away his tears, he saw you angle your head a little towards him. He saw you smile and rotate you head back to the front.

He heard you say a sentence before you left with you husband and child. One that completely broke him.

..."I finally made The Right Choice".......

-Lillian

[wileys-russo]

off limits (4) II a.putellas x león!reader

part one part two part three

lengthy one! but there is another part in the works off limits (4) II a.putellas x león!reader

"what is going on in here?"

your head snapped to the door where a confused looking ingrid stood, patri and alba stumbling in after right her and promptly smacking into one another as they skidded to a halt.

“can you take me home please?” you sent the norwegian a pleading look as her own eyes fell to the grip alexia had on your wrist and hardened.

despite only being just under a year older than you ever since she’d started seeing your sister and grew to know how close the bond the two of you shared was, ingrid had adopted that same protective older sister mentality. to the point you even sometimes went to her for advice over mapi.

“of course. let her go alexia.” ingrid warned, calmly but firmly . everything seemed to come crashing down for the older girl as she saw the fearful look in your eyes and immediately let go of your wrist.

you practically flew into ingrid who wrapped her arms around you, mumbling she’d get you out of here and with one last disappointed look in alexia’s direction she’d pulled you out of the bathroom.

suddenly the room seemed to grow smaller and smaller for the captain. she found herself clutching at her chest struggling to breathe as the weight of how she had treated you lately all came crashing down on top of her.

as did the reality that she had walked away from you, from you.

you. the girl who she would have done just about anything for, the girl she was still head over heels in love with and the girl she had treated like she was nothing as she walked away without a look back.

and so the facade alexia had built up, broke.

alba and patri were by her side in an instant, trying to calm the blonde down as she pushed them away with a frantic shake of her head.

she stumbled to her feet, shoving past the younger girls needing to be out of the rapidly shrinking room where all she could hear ringing in her ears were your desperate and broken pleas for her to stay with you.

of course you were angry with her, you had every single right to be and she had no power at all to say you didn’t.

alexia glanced up as she finally caught her breath again, the dance floor now a little less crowded as people had started to drunkenly stumble away home together, the same thing she had just tried to protect you from.

but now it was beginning to dawn on her just how that would have looked to you, and how with the way she'd treated you she was the last person who had any sort of say on what you did with your life anymore, she'd kissed that right goodbye the night she'd left you.

it was through the throng of people grinding and pushing into one another on the dance floor that she found you, stood with your arms wrapped around yourself tightly next to ingrid as ona and irene were trying their best to help a very drunk mapi up to her feet so you could all leave.

“alexia no.” she moved to go to you, to comfort you, to apologise and try her best to fix this ungodly mess she'd made, but instead she ran into a body which put themselves in her way.

“she’s drunk and upset ale, and you’re thinking with your emotions and not your head. let her go.” lucy remanded gently, hands falling to her friend and captains shoulders who hesitated before nodding in agreement, allowing herself to be lead away from the group by her english team mate.

eventually she watched from a stool at the bar as you left, taking a piece of her heart with you as alexia sighed deeply, feeling a hand touch her shoulder. glancing to her left she saw the familiar eyes of her younger sister, alba's gaze a mixture of confusion, concern and frustration.

“i think you have some explaining to do hermana.”

~

you groaned as you felt a weight settle on your chest, eyes half opening as they locked with a familiar pair of bright green ones peering down at you curiously.

“buenos bagheera.” you sighed tiredly, moving your hand to scratch behind the cars left ear as he purred and pushed his head into your hand happily.

blinking a few times as your sight adjusted you realised you were in the guest bedroom of your sisters apartment, a room not unfamiliar to you though how you ended up here was a little more foggy.

you remembered bits and pieces of the night, probably in thanks to the many many shots alba had practically poured down your throat.

you remembered the brunette stranger whose face was a blur and how her hands felt all over your body, a sort of intimate touch you couldn’t help but wish was coming from your ex girlfriend despite how much she had hurt you.

then of course that had started the fight with said ex girlfriend in the bathroom, you remembered that, and how alexia's hand gripped your wrist, slender fingers digging desperately into your tanned skin.

you remembered clinging tightly onto ingrid as she pleaded for her girlfriend to get up and leave the club, then all you could recall was that you fell asleep in the car and now you’d woken up here.

the searing throbbing behind your eyes lead you to believe at some point of the night you must have cried, your makeup at somehow removed though you could feel the uncomfortable thickness of dried tears coat the corner of your eyelids.

your head pounding you gently moved the feline off of you who mewed and stretched out, flopping down on his side to lay in a sun soaked corner of the bed.

with much struggle you managed to get up and on your feet. glancing down you were clothed in a large shirt, noticing your dress from last night nearly folded on the plush navy blue armchair by the door.

withholding a groan at the way your skull pounded you opened the door and padded out into the kitchen, neither of the other two women awake or up as you were alone in your endeavor. your throat was dry and screaming for some sort of reprise where you'd likely snored and slept with your mouth open as you always did after you drank, something your sister and friends had far too many videos of.

chugging a few glasses of water and eventually finding something for your growing headache you noticed the door to the other bedroom was left open.

rinsing your glass and grabbing two clean ones you filled them up and grabbed the girls two pills each.

standing in the doorway you would have laughed at the sight before you had you been in a better mood.

ingrid was fast asleep on her stomach, face pressed into her pillow as your sister lay with her legs hanging half out of the covers, a pair of sunglasses covering her eyes and one heavily tattooed arm draped lazily over her face to further block out any sort of light.

you made your way round the bed, leaving the waters and advil on either one of their side tables. as you placed them down beside your sister you heard movement, the older girl lifting back the covers and opening her arms.

you hesitated for a moment thinking things over before that became far too much work given your hangover and you collapsed beside her with a sigh, pressing your face into her shoulder as her arms wound tightly around you.

“don’t get it confused, i’m still really mad at you.” you mumbled as she hummed, knowing you needed this right now maybe even more than she did.

at the rustling beside her ingrid lifted her head up with a tired frown, though seeing the two of you a smile grew on her lips and her head thudded down on the pillow, one hand pushing up the back of her girlfriends shirt to scratch her back.

despite currently wanting nothing more than to punch mapi square in the mouth at the absolute mess she’d caused of your life, you had missed the familiar comfort of a simple hug from her, especially given that the two of you were normally as close as close could be.

with there being four years between you growing up you’d had your bumps in the road as puberty hit and hormones and attitudes shifted between both of you, either one going through the 'i hate everyone get away from me' phase in turn.

and you both of course had many the fist fight and screaming match over the normal stupid things sister argued about like clothes and hairbrushes, having to share a room until you were eleven and she was fifteen.

but your bond had always been undeniably strong, and no matter how much you might anger or frustrate her sometimes if anyone even dared to look at you the wrong way she was in their face within an instant.

your first day at the same school she’d kept a wary eye on you despite strictly warning you to stay away from her and her friends. but the moment she noticed you pushed over by a boy you’d rejected she’d had him up against a wall by the collar of his uniform with a black eye and suddenly she was being suspended for three days.

which was part of the reason you felt so hurt and betrayed by the way your sister had lashed out at you without a second thought. her words and opinion had always meant the world to you, you looked up to her more than you would ever dare to let her know.

and though when it came to falling in love you’d had your fair share of partners scared off by her overbearing nature, there was still a slight glimmer of hope that maybe once she realised it was her best friend that you’d fallen for she would ease off. maybe she would realise alexia wouldn’t dare to hurt you.

how were you to know that you couldn’t have been more wrong about any of that.

alexia had now more than proven now her ability to hurt you seemingly without a second thought and mapi's rushed nonacceptance of the two of you had been the root catalyst of it all.

with that swirling around in your mind you pulled away from your sisters hold, shuffling to sit on the end of the bed rubbing your eyes tiredly, bagheera jumping onto the bed and settling himself in your previous position.

"my head hurts." mapi groaned quietly, again covering her face with her hands as her partner chuckled beside her, rolling onto her back and pushing herself to sit up, sending you a smile which you returned tiredly.

"that is called tequila mi corazón." ingrid patted the spaniards head who only groaned louder at the words. you left them to it, making your way back to the kitchen and starting to brew some coffee, hearing footsteps follow you.

a glance over your shoulder showed it was ingrid who had followed you, squeezing your shoulder gently before she began to rummage through the fridge, intending to start cooking something for breakfast.

"hey, you doing okay?" you pulled yourself to sit up on the counter beside the coffee machine as it slowly hummed to life. "i'm fine." you sent her a small smile as she only hummed, the stove top flickering to life.

"what did i walk in on last night?" she questioned somewhat hesitantly, not wanting to overstep as you let out a long sigh. "it's a little blurry, but i think she got jealous i wanted to go home with that girl from the club and decided she was going to take me home instead." you explained.

"none of us would have let you leave with that girl, you were far too drunk. i only came in because i thought she followed you and patri was worried since she couldn't see her on the dance floor anymore." ingrid elaborated as you nodded, wincing a little.

"it's not her responsibility to worry about me like that anymore though. thats why i got upset, she hasn't made any sort of move to apologise since she left me. why should she get to suddenly play hero and take me home because i'm too drunk?" you scowled, sipping at your coffee.

"i get it, i understand your anger. but even if she has been awful at showing it and i am not excusing her actions at all, alexia still cares for you." ingrid sent you an apologetic smile as you scoffed and shook your head. "what are we talking about?" you turned to glance at your sister who took a seat at the island, sunglasses dropped down to her nose.

"nothing." you answered quickly, sending ingrid a look as the taller girl turned back to her cooking, mapi thankfully too hungover to pick up on any of it.

"mami just called, checking what time we're meeting her for lunch." you let out a long and exhausted groan at the older girls words. "i'm not going."

"yes you are. i already told her we would be there by one, all of us." mapi sighed, rubbing her temples tiredly. "why!" you complained in annoyance, tucking one knee to your chest and resting your chin on it.

"because we said we'd be there and if we cancel now she'll be upset. she hasn't seen us in a month!" your sister reminded as you groaned yet again, hating that you really couldn't come up with any excuse to get out of it and nurse your growing hangover.

"she's been on a holiday, that's her choice." you huffed again, ingrid pinching your leg lightly with a look as you sighed.

"well then someone needs to drive me home or i'm going to need to borrow some clothes."

~

"oh you have to be kidding me. joder!" you swore under your breath, stopping abruptly as the two girls in front of you paused, glancing back at you with confused looks at your quiet outburst.

"why is she here! did you set this up maría?" you hissed glaring daggers at your sister, nodding to the large table across the courtyard where your mother sat, alexia, alba and eli also sat beside her.

"no? i promise hermana. i really really don't know why she's there- oh they've seen us now." your sister bit her lip guiltily as your mother furiously waved in her direction, ingrid rubbing your back as you withheld the urge to scream and pull your hair out.

surely this was some sort of twisted joke the universe had out for you.

"come on, you don't need to speak with her." the taller girl assured, nudging you to follow as she took mapi's outstretched hand, the three of you making your way toward the table.

met with a chorus of excited greetings you made your way around saying hi, kissing cheeks and being pulled into tight hugs, your mother quickly explaining how she'd seen eli sitting by herself when she arrived and invited her and the girls to join you all.

again, a horrifically cruel coincidence. there was easily hundreds of restaurants in barcelona so someone upstairs had to have it out for you for all of you to have made lunch plans here.

well aware of lingering eyes and not wishing any questions to arise you pressed a quick kiss to alexia's cheek and mumbled a soft hola, really more quickly pressing your cheek against hers and darting away.

once everyone had exchanged greetings and sat down you were at one end of the table beside alba who sat beside eli and your mother, across from ingrid and mapi who sat next to alexia, the two of you at least having as much space between one another as possible.

though not nearly enough for you to be comfortable.

your food ordered and drinks in hand conversation flowed easily, neither of your mothers thankfully picking up on the fact that you and alexia hadn't exchanged so much as a single word the last hour you'd all been sat down.

"ay! you have your own." you bumped your shoulder into the brunette beside you who stole your drink, alba tilting her head away from you as she rasied it to her lips.

"give it, alba!" you laughed, punching her arm and reaching out for the drink, mouth dropping as she finished it off and handed you back the empty glass with a wink and a kiss to your cheek.

"puta." you swore with a shake of your head, reaching for her drink as she grabbed your hand with a grin and a shake of her own, the two of you too busy messing around to notice the withering glare sent your way by the older putellas at the other end of the table, the jealous fury in her eyes hidden away behind a pair of prada sunglasses.

"hey, stop it." it wasn't missed however by your sister who knocked her knee into the captain, alexia looking away and resting her chin on her hand, mapi rolling her eyes and returning to her conversation with the women across from her, having been trying to include her best friend who only seemed content to sit silently and stoically.

"we need to talk later mi amiga, you've been holding out on me about something and it's not appreciated." alba warned you playfully though the look in her eyes let you know she wasn't joking and it didn't take much for you to know what she wanted to talk about.

"later." she assured as your food arrived, everyone calling out whose was whose as plates began to fill the table. "albs! again you have your own." you laughed, shoving away the catalan whose fork knocked against your plate before she placed a sloppy kiss to your cheek and you gagged jokingly, wiping your cheek on her shoulder as she stole a forkful of your food.

alexias hands balled into fists where they sat dormant on her knees, the blondes jaw clenching which again didn't go unnoticed by the older león beside her. "okay no, come." mapi sighed, standing and nodding for alexia to follow, fixing her with a firm stare as she tried to refuse.

you glanced over for a second at the two as your sister excused them to use the bathroom before she tugged alexia away and your attention turned back to your conversation with ingrid who shrugged when you raised an eyebrow silently.

"what are you doing?" mapi asked quietly as the two girls sat down in a secluded corner away from the main dining area, away from prying eyes or ears. "what?" alexia replied bluntly, pushing her sunglasses on top of her head with a raised eyebrow.

"you know what, ingrid told me what happened last night. ale-" the tattooed spaniard started with a sigh before alexia cut her off with a scoff and a shake of her head. "do not dare to lecture me. this is your fault in the first place!" alexia snapped, mapi at first taken aback by the aggression.

"i should not have reacted the way i did ale, i know that and i have apologized to both of you about it. but you should not have left her! we are both to blame, and i'm trying to work things out with her. so if she doesn't want to speak with you, leave her be." mapi warned, alexia shaking her head furiously with a laugh that was anything but humorous.

"you have to be joking mapi. i left her because you told me to! because you told me we were done and she and i were done. what was i supposed to do? tell me what would you have wanted me to do in that moment hm? when you were yelling at us both and pushing her around huh?" alexia shot up to her feet, pushing at the girls chest with a glare.

"i didn't see you standing up for her! or apologizing and trying to work anything out with her after she ignored us both for weeks. maybe i was right alexia and you aren't good for her, maybe you did her a favour by leaving!" mapi snapped back, shoving the blonde with the same intensity she'd just received.

"hey!" both girls heads swivelled toward the new voice, ingrid standing there with her arms crossed and fixing the two of them with a harsh glare.

"neither of you are even thinking about her, or her feelings, or her choices and how she has been heavily affected by everything, how much she is hurting and angry. idiotas!" the norweign snarled, both taken by surprise at the strict tone of the taller girl.

"i watched her cry her eyes out for an hour and a half last night after we left ale, over you." ingrid warned, pointing to the captain whose anger melted away and was immediately replaced with guilt.

"and i had to hear her heart break as she told me the horrible things you said to her, and how much it killed her to think her own sister saw her that way." her finger switched to point at her girlfriend whose once tense body language crumbled, both girls sitting back down.

"you have both been nothing but selfish, arrogant and stubborn about this entire situation. first you overstep and overreact and cause this whole mess by asserting your opinion where it wasn't needed. and then you leave her when she needed you the most to stay and to comfort her and prove that it didn't matter, that you would be there for her still. she was clearly not okay and her actions screamed that but neither of you bothered to check on her, or apologise, or even try at all to fix anything!" ingrid's frustrations had now boiled over as she berated the two women in front of her like naughty children, both of them with their heads hung low agreeing with every word.

"she is the collateral of all of this, she is the one who both of you claim to care about so deeply but you made up with one another before her. after it was the issues between the two of you that even made all of this happen! how do you think that made her feel?" ingrid spoke more calmly this time, words still sharp as knives as they cut through the air.

"you both need to put in the work if you want to save any sort of relationship with her. not that either of you probably deserve it! you-" she switched her eyes toward her girlfriend who cowered. "-you need to show her you're sorry and that you regret your actions, actions which were the cause of all of this. show her that you want to fix things and you have learned from your mistakes. not just say sorry and hope that things just slip back as they were." she warned, mapi nodding.

"and you, ale you need to do a lot more than try to take her home when she is drunk. have you even said sorry? spoken to her about that night? acknowledged anything? because that is the first step in a very long road to try and mend things. and if she does not want to mend things then you have lost the right to argue that, and you need to respect her wishes. both of you!" with that and one last firm look ingrid turned on heel and returned to the table, leaving both girls with their heads in their hands.

~

"did you drive here chica?" alba asked, arm slung around you as you shook your head. "good. stay for another drink with me and i will drive you home." the younger putellas all but demanded as she patted your cheek with her hand, recounting the plan to the group before you could even say a word.

you missed the look sent alba's way by her sister, the younger of the two rolling her eyes at the obvious jealousy and blanking her when the two of you said the rest of your goodbyes to your families.

though she wasn't going to let it go that easily. "what are you doing?" alexia tugged on the back of her younger sisters top, earning her attention as yours was stolen by a lingering goodbye with your mother.

"spending time with a close friend. back off alexia!" alba warned, having had just about enough of the dirty looks being sent her way all afternoon. "so i tell you we were seeing one another and your response is to try and make a move on her? dios mio alba whats wrong with you?" alexia growled quietly causing the younger girl to let out a sarcastic bark of laughter.

"you think im making a move on her hermana? seriously? you forget i have known her the same amount of time you have known mapi. just because the two of you kept this from me does not mean i do not care about her or already see her as a close friend, we have been close for years! of course i a, not making a move on her! asshole." with that the younger putellas scoffed and shoved alexia away, making her way to your side and dragging you away, blowing your mothers a kiss as she did so.

moving down the road to a different bar the two of you sat together at a table in the back corner on stools, a water in your hand and a tequila in alba's as she fixed you with a look and you already knew what was coming.

"okay amiga now we are alone i want to hear all about it. vamos!" the brunette clapped, waving for you to speak as you sighed, wishing the water in your hand could magically turn into vodka but you knew you had training tomorrow.

"albs. you obviously know what happened so why do i need to tell you? we aren't together anymore and it is still raw, por favour amiga." you groaned with a pleading stare.

"no, i only know a little. only enough to know that my sister did something wrong and you are no longer together. but she did say you were seeing one another for months which both of you kept from me. so i need to know everything from the beginning, vamos!" she repeated with another wave, and you knew one putellas well enough to see that the unwavering stubbornness was clearly a genetic trait.

"fine. well-"

it had all started on a tuesday night. you had offered to host a few of the girls you were closest with for a dinner after training, but with a particularly nasty stomach flu making its way through the team, it ended up only being you and alexia.

"the two survivors ay chica?" alexia grinned cheekily, clinking her glass against yours making you laugh. "don't you jinx it!" you warned playfully, taking a mouthful of water and turning back to the stove top.

"are you sure i can't help with anything? you know i am an excellent chef." alexia asked for the tenth time, knee bouncing restlessly as she sat feeling useless.

"you might be, but you are a terrible listener and an even worse assistant." you teased, grinning at the older girl over her shoulder who scoffed in offence. "you are far too bossy, capitana." you grinned at her obvious disagreement.

"no i am not! who assists most of your goals bonita hm?" alexia questioned with a hum and a raised eyebrow, you turned and stayed facing away from her to avoid the midfielder seeing the way your cheeks flushed crimson at the term of endearment.

that had seemed to be happening a lot lately.

you and alexia had always been close through her friendship with your sister and playing alongside her at a national level, then when you transferred over to barca she was quick to take you under a watchful eye.

that had been fine, you'd always looked up to her as a footballer and a human being. the catalan's passion for the sport was undying and the way she held herself as a public figure, a team mate, a captain and a friend was beyond admirable.

though lately, and you couldn't pin point exactly when or why things had shifted, you found yourself unable to hold her gaze, becoming flustered when she was near by and finding terms of endearment she had always used with you to send your cheeks the same colour as your national jersey.

and you hated yourself for it, because despite not knowing when it started you weren't stupid, you knew what it meant.

you had a crush, a stupidly infuriatingly mind melting crush. on a girl who was not only your captain, friend, and team mate.

but your sisters best friend, a person who not only would never share your feelings but was well off limits because of the sheer fact you feared if anything was to happen your sister might strangle you or her with her bare hands.

you'd finished dinner, sat at the table discussing anything and everything which inevitably lead to alexia's favourite subject, football.

you'd half zoned out as the girl droned on, walking you through play by play of the drill you'd been practicing in training, captain mode kicking in as she went over different ways the ball could be delivered.

you found your eyesight continued to slip down to her lips, watching her mouth move more than you focused on the actual words coming out of them, hating how you couldn't help but wonder what they felt like, what they tasted like.

you blinked several times as alexia leant forward and sharply flicked your ear, noticing that you weren't listening to her and not missing just where your attention had shifted to.

unknown to you, you weren't the only one who had a crush. not that alexia would ever be caught dead saying that horribly juvenile word, she preferred to think of it as an attraction, an interest, one she'd harbored silently for awhile now, holding her cards close to her chest.

seeing the amusement on her face at the fact you'd very clearly ignored most of what she said you grabbed her plate and yours, excusing yourself to clean up and again dismissing any help from her.

"go find something to watch! unless you want to head home?" you offered as you stacked the dishwasher, alexia shaking her head and settling herself on your lounge. "and not football ale!" you warned, the brunette rolling her eyes at your stern words.

settling on something light, some reality show where strangers were matched together and married, you shortly joined her, throwing your body back into the cushions with a sigh.

"you watch this?" you perked up with a grin, alexia scoffed and shook her head, but you saw through it. "fine! sometimes." she admitted quietly making you laugh.

"wait till the team hears big bad la reina watches married at first sight!" you teased. "don't you dare!" alexia warned seriously, kicking you with a glare. "or what?" you mocked with a grin, kicking her back as the girl grabbed your legs, tugging you closer to her.

"i'll make you run extra laps, extra drills, maybe some sprints and push ups for good measure." she smirked, pulling the captain rank and making you roll your eyes. "oh sorry capitana! forgot you aren't human and allowed to enjoy lifes simple pleasure. all bow down to la reina!" your voice dripped with sarcasm as you mocked a bow, alexia shoving your head playfully.

"don't call me that please, i hate it." she groaned, your head now falling to her shoulder as the two of you fell into a comfortable silence, the closeness of your bodies not lost on either of you.

after a while alexia was beginning to grow restless, long bored of the trashy reality show you seemed glued to, your body now leaning into her side.

shifting lightly, you tensed a little as you felt her arm move to settle across your shoulders, her thumb and pointer finger gently massaging a knot in the base of your neck.

"is this okay?" she asked softly and you nodded, terrified to look up at her as your heart hammered in your chest. eventually, nerves began to settle as you realised she had initiated the close contact, having moved her hand away from your neck and settling it in your hair, absentmindedly playing with the loose strands.

without looking at her you moved your left hand to rest on her bare thigh, thumb tracing small circles on the bare skin as alexia held her breath at the contact, the gentle but consistent touch driving her mad.

"is this okay?" you echoed her previous words, alexia humming as the two of you sat in a silence, a strange tension building around you both which only grew the longer it was left unaddressed.

a new episode started and alexia decided she could no longer deal with the now suffocating silence which had begun to tighten around her throat, leaving her struggling to even have a cohesive thought.

you felt the weight of her arm disappear and a small frown knitted its way to your eyebrows, though before you could remove your hand fearing you'd made her uncomfortable, fingers grabbed at your chin, tilting your head upwards.

no words were said as your eyes locked with the soft pools of hazel that shone down at you, a curiosity lit up within them that you'd not seen before. alexia's gaze dropped to your lips, thoughts cloudy as the pad of her thumb tenderly grazed the curvature of your jaw.

slowly your free hand moved upwards, settling on her cheek as her head tilted into your touch, your chest tightening as she turned and placed a gentle kiss to your palm.

a few more beats of silence passed, the taller girl struggling to get out the words which jammed in her throat, so desperate to escape but stifled by her fear that she was misreading this whole situation.

"alexia." you'd whispered her name so quietly, as if it were made of glass and the moment it dropped from your lips it could smash into a thousand pieces.

"can i kiss you?" those next four words fell from her mouth and for a moment your world shattered, struggling to ground yourself into reality, too sure this had to be some sort of fever dream.

not trusting your voice you only nodded, using the hand which rested on her cheek to guide her mouth down towards yours, alexias own hand nudging your chin up as she stopped, lips ghosting yours.

it was like a game of cat and mouse, both awaiting to see who would crack first, who was going to make that closing move and put the final nail in the coffin of what was once a seemingly healthy friendship.

unable to wait any longer, driven positively mad by the way her breath fanned your face and you drowned in her familiar and ever alluring scent which invaded all your senses, you closed the gap.

your mouths slotted together perfectly, your head tilting a little more to the right as her rosy pink pillow soft lips pressed oh so heavenly against yours.

her hand moved from your chin to gently grab the back of your neck, flushing your bodies closer as her tongue swiped your bottom lip, your mouth opening just enough for it to dart inside.

your other hand flew to cup her face, deepening the kiss further as your tongues battled for dominance, though lost in a pleasure drunk haze you allowed her to take control, not before nipping at her bottom lip causing her to inhale sharply in surprise.

a few more moments of bliss passed before oxygen became an issue and your hand moved to interlock with hers, moving it to your shoulder as you pulled away, chest heaving and mind reeling.

"I-" you started, words unable to form as your head spun and your lips tingled like you'd just eaten something sour. "we should-" alexia also struggled to get the words out, her head foggy from the addictively intoxicating feeling of kissing you.

"wait." your body ran cold as you leaned back in to kiss her once more, her hands on your shoulders holding you still as your eyes widened. "no no no, por favor." she reassured as you tried to move away and she held you firmly in place, assuming you'd made a mistake.

"i want to do this amor, but properly." the older girl started softly, a slight blush coming to her cheeks at the unfamiliar request, your eyes widened in surprisingly as her thumb gently traced your swollen bottom lip.

"could i please take you on a date?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

part five

[maisanshine]

𝙒𝙃𝙄𝙇𝙀 𝙒𝙀 𝙒𝘼𝙄𝙏 | 𝙅𝙅𝙆

𝙋𝘼𝙍𝙏 𝙏𝙀𝙒𝙒𝙒𝙒𝙒𝙊𝙊 𝙄𝙎 𝙃𝙀𝙍𝙀𝙀𝙀𝙀𝙎𝙎 𝙒𝙊𝙋 𝙒𝙊𝙋

Pairing- exfwb!reader

Warnings- angst, cheating, asshole jk and smut literally forgot what I wrote

Wc; 8.7k

Not edited

𝗣𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗼𝗻𝗲-

🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮

Ever since Jungkook and you so-called "broke up," he has been working up weird habits. He's found himself following you sometimes. He keeps tabs, especially on your boyfriend, Jimin.

Jungkook is disappointed that he didn't try to make your shared relationship better than it was. Jungkook makes his daily rounds on his morning ride. He drives past your shared apartment with Lena, and he sees you walking out in your pink-stained robe.

He thinks to go the other way the run into you accidentally to tease you with a conversation. He missed your voice

~

You sit in your apartment, thinking about Jungkook. It is about 6:00 a.m., and the sun is now coming up.

You turn to your right to see Jimin knocked out of your bed. It's been about two weeks since you last saw Jungkook.

You couldn't believe him; he dared to tell you he loved you after everything. Really, what the fuck?

You feel your body heat up, and you carefully walk out of bed. Putting some shoes on. You look ridiculous.

You have black boots on and your PJs on, and your head looks like a sack of shit. But you need fresh air. You walk out of your building with your robe on. Walking through the streets.

You walk off for a while until you land on a familiar path. You shake your head at Jungkook's apartment building. You wince, and you continue walking. Until you hear the sound of a motorcycle driving past you and you turn to see it stop next to you,.

You try and move, but the man takes off his helmet, and of course, it's Jungkook.

"Jesus, don't you think it's too early to be riding a motorcycle?" You say you are trying to move past him.

He stops you, taking your arm. "It's never too early; what are you doing around here trying to win me back?" He jokes, but you whip his arm away.

"What? No, I just went on a walk!" You yell, and he laughs.

"My legs just lead me here, that's all," he nods, leaning into you.

"Then your legs miss me." You don't say anything else, and you storm off yelling once you're at least a good 5 feet away.

"I have a boyfriend!"

"But you don't even like him!" He yells back, but it falls on deaf ears. You're striking off and not looking back.

When you make it back to your apartment, Jimin is walking out of your bedroom, his face puffy from sleep.

Jimin is a beautiful guy; he's nice, and he's very considerate. You don't deserve him.

"Good morning, pretty," he says, and you smile while he places a peck on your lips. "Good morning." You give him a hug, burying yourself in his chest, and he returns the favor, wrapping his arms around your waist and trailing his pointer finger up and down your spine.

It's not that you don't like Jimin; you like him and have love for him. But it doesn't compare to the love you have for Jungkook.

Even though Jungkook wasn't there emotionally, he was there physically. You guys never had a bad interaction in bed.

Jimin is there emotionally, and you haven't slept with him yet to see what the physical interaction would be like.

With all the signs, it seems like you and Jimin would have an amazing relationship if Jungkook wasn't standing like a brick wall in the way.

Jimin drags you into the bathroom with him as you hug him from behind while he washes his face and brushes his teeth.

You stand there and admire his beauty. Put it in the back of your heart. Unfortunately, his name isn't written on it; it's Jungkook's, and it hurts you to know that it'll take a while to print his name on it.

But if he's worth the time, then you'll proceed until it happens.

Getting ready for the day, you and Jimin walk out of your room fully dressed. You see Lena sitting on the island, eating cereal.

"Hey girl," she says, and you smile while Jimin lets go of your hand.

"I didn't expect you to be up," you say, but she smiles, looking like she ate shit.

" I think I have to put the bottles down for a while." Her gaze lingers on Jimin for a while. You laugh, and Jimin grabs his shoes.

"I'm heading to class. I'll see you later, baby." Jimin kisses your lips, and you smile. "See you," you respond, and he goes out the door.

"Ew," Lena says, and she rolls her eyes. "What?" You ask, and she stares at you with a condescending look.

"He just so... I don't know. I don't like him for you." You roll your eyes, taking your coffee back into your bedroom.

"Catch a dick, Lena," you say before shutting your door to complete homework before class.

You sit in the library; it's late. It's about 9:30, but you want to make sure you have everything memorized for your post-exam this Friday.

You see a shadow leaning over you, and you smile at the thought of Jimin finding you to take you out to eat. I raise my head with a smile, but you stare into the eyes of Jeon Jungkook.

Fuck

"Don't you think it's too late to be in a book, baby?" He said his eyes were dark with anticipations. "No, and don't call me that." You're flustered by his words.

He shrugs and pulls the seat out next to you. "Want me to take you home?"

No is your immediate response in your head.

But you sit in silence for a while before answering.

"Aren't you supposed to be at Renji's party" he shakes his head.

"You look so pretty these days."

"Stop," you say, moving to grab your stuff.

"Renji’s party is not where I want to be right now." You shake your head. Walking up out of the library.

"Jungkook, you don't give me at least a bit of peace of mind." He pulls you onto a nearby bench outside.

"I want to talk to you, please. No funny business; we're friends, right?" You look at him and his stupid gaze.

"You have 5 minutes; I'm tired."

"I miss you. I miss you so damn much, baby. I know I'm an asshole. But I hate sleeping alone. Fuck it, I hate sleeping without you. Yeah, it took me to see you with that Jimmy asshole to realize it. But please, I'm trying here." You shake your head at his unwanted confession.

"Jungkook, that's your problem. You tell me these things when I don't want them. And it’s Jimin " You get up. Pacing back and forth.

He stands with you. "But I'm telling you now, baby, please!" You look at him, confused. He really can't understand it, can he?

"Why couldn't you say this when we were sleeping together, huh?" You are yelling now. Infuriated at his audacity.

"Because I'm an asshole, I know, and it took me too long to realize that all I want is you!" You laugh in his face.

"You didn't even give me a chance to save us. You just ended it!"

"You broke up with me!"

"Now I didn't; you asked me if I wanted this, and I said I don't know."

"Sounds like you didn't want it, and you were avoiding me for days!" You nodded, agreeing because it's true you weren't doing it to be a bitch. You were looking for time.

"I was waiting to tell you that I wanted to be with you! You fucking prick. You're so full of fucking shit. I wanted you, Jungkook, every time you just left. All you had to do was hold me after fucking my brains out and stay a bit after. I wanted your affection!"

"I gave you all the affection you wanted, and you look content. Why didn't you speak to me about it?"

"Because you never have time! You're always doing something after! Always...always running away."

You give up. You start walking off.

Jungkook charges behind you. Wrapping his arms around your waist. "Baby." You try to yank yourself out of his hold. But can't, you feel the waterworks coming?

"Please, I need you. I need you so damn much. Please. ____"

"You're an asshole."

"I know"

"You don't deserve me."

"I know"

"I fucking hate you, Jeon Jungkook."

"Please, baby, don't say that to me. You're breaking my heart."

You might look like a psychopath, but you start yelling at the top of your lungs, telling him to let you go.

"Let go of me!" You start wailing your hands and legs around like a five-year-old.

"AH!" You scream, jumping and moving Jungkook with you. It's the dead of night, and you're causing a scene. Just get away from Jungkook.

"Please let go!"

"Help me," you said, pinching Jungkook's arm, and he grunted, finally giving up.

Jungkook drops his arms and stares at you in shock, and you run away, heading to your apartment building.

You run upstairs and lock the door behind you. You look out your bay window to see if he's followed you on his motorcycle. He hasn't, so you calm down.

You throw your bag on the floor and head to bed. You don't even bother to brush your teeth; you flop on your bed.

~

You hear stomping and laughing in the kitchen, and it startles you out of your sleep. You get up accidentally knocking your metal water jug off your nightstand.

You crack your door open to see Jimin and Lena standing on the opposite side of the kitchen. "Hey g-girl," Lena says, and Jimin rushes to the trash can, throwing up whatever he drank. You rush to him. Patting his back as he lets it out.

"It's okay; let's get you to bed, babe." Jimin sits next to the trash can, and he is crying. Lena's eyes are wide open.

"Y/N! I'm sorry!" He starts screaming, his strained, raspy voice echoing through the apartment.

"I don't deserve you; I messed up. We fuc-"

"He's drunk; you should get him to bed," Lena says, but he continues.

"No, I don't want to keep feeling like shit. I'm sorry, please. Forgive me, I'll be better!" Jimin's eyes cross between you and Lena.

"What is he talking about?" You stand, and Lena is pale.

"Lena?" You are half asleep, and your boyfriend is screaming and crying as if his life depended on it.

"I don't fucking know! What the hell are you asking me for? He's having a mental breakdown, and you're asking me?" You put your hand in her face, and you drag Jimin to your room.

You're tired, and you'll figure this out in the morning.

~

Jungkook was confused when you went through your little tantrum. He honestly wanted to shut you up with a kiss and drag you back to his car. Bend you over in his backseat and fuck all this we're friends nonchalant bullshit you guys got going on out of you.

But instead, he went to the place where you expected him to be. Getting drunk and fucking girls that aren't you at this bitch ass party.

Minus the fucking bitches' part, Jungkook was standing in the corner like a wallflower, staring at Jimin and Lena violently grinding on each other in front of half the school.

Jungkook smiles at the scene. Think about how you traded him, who was a dick, for a public cheating asshole.

Ridiculous, he thinks as he drinks out of his beer until he feels a hand on his shoulder. Haesol appears in his view.

She has been chasing for, who knows, how fucking long. He gives a dissatisfied look. "You look lonely." Jungkook nods, ignoring her.

"I heard that you and that bitch, Y/N, broke it off." Jungkook looks at her, his face stoned as a rock.

"What do you want?" She cups his chest. As she leans up to him. "You, I heard you a god at it, and I want to go to heaven." She smiled so hard, and Jungkook choked on his drink. He starts laughing frantically.

"Oh yeah, you want to go to heaven." She nods, her hand sliding down to cup his cock. "Good girls go to heaven, not sour pussy bitches that have fucked their whole campus and are trying to pounce on anyone and anything. Get your hand off my dick, you weirdo." Her face drops, and Jungkook walks away, swiping against his chest where she touches him.

"Now I have to go change my pants because Haesol is trying to give me chlamydia!" He yelled for everyone to hear. People freeze, turning to haesol.

"Bro, she got chlamydia; I fucked you yesterday," some guy yells. A loud wave of Oh's sound filled the party, with girls laughing and some cheering.

It's a frat party, so obviously some are going to get embarrassed. Jungkook just took the chance and ran with it.

"Who got chlamydia? We don't need no cornstarch pussy bitches spearing that shit," Hanuel, the host, aka Reni's brother, yells, and everybody points to Haesol, who is still standing in the same spot.

"Get the fuck out; what are you even doing here? Go sit at the doctor." The party brushes into cheering, and Jungkook laughs.

"Get the fuck out!" Hanuel starts chanting, and people join. Jungkook takes his leave and gets on his bike, heading home. He caused enough of a ruckus tonight.

But the only home he wants to go to is yours. You are his home. He made his bed, and he wants to sleep in it with you.

~

You take some Tylenol and walk out of your apartment. You make it to your class, pulling out your notes. Two girls behind are gossiping about the party last night rather loudly.

"Oh my gosh, did you hear about Haesol?"

"No, what happened?" You try to tune out the conversation until a familiar name pops up.

"Jungkook exposed her for having chlamydia, and she got kicked out of the party in front of everyone." Your jaw drops at the news.

A few seconds later, Haesol entered the class, and the girls shut up. She sits next to you, and you give her a slight smile. She nods her head.

"Can I speak to you after class, please?" she says in a whisper. You nod your head, and she smiles. The professor comes in, and class starts.

After class, you and Haesol walk to the local coffee shop. "I don't know if you heard about what happened to me and Jungkook last night. But I just wanted to tell you we didn't sleep together." You nod your head.

"I heard a bit, but why are you telling me we aren't together?" she nods.

"I know I was walking to the party and saw you too fighting outside of the library. I knew you weren't together because of what I heard. He looked mad and wondered if he wanted to blow off some steam. " You nod your head, kind of embarrassed that she heard you fighting with Jungkook.

"In reality, I just wanted to warn you, even if you do get together with him. Can you please tell him to tell everyone that I don't have that shit?" ?

"I'll try to talk to him, but we aren't on the best terms right now. Plus, you can always prove that stuff yourself," you shrug.

"Oh yeah, how," she says passive-aggressively as you look at her. "Go to the doctor, and you post your results on Instagram. Easy. To anyone who wants to taste the truth, you are simple enough to let them have a taste," you argue back, and she rolls her eyes.

“Could’ve just called me a whore”

“Whore”

"Whatever, plus you'd be stupid if you were to get back together with that asshole."

"Trust me, that's not a bridge I want to cross again." You are taking your coffee.

"Sorry for what happened to you," she says, waving her hand. " I was kind of looking for it." She smiles, but you can tell that she is hurt about the whole situation.

"Anyways we aren't together; I'm with Jimin." She turns her head.

"Jimin? Park Jimin?

"Yeah, if you fucked him, good for you, Haesol." She flicks you off but turns serious.

"Really, but last night."

"Y/N!" Jungkook storms up next to you, pulling you out of your chair. You drag yourself away from Haesol.

"Jungkook, what the hell?" You yank your hand away from him.

"Baby, what are you doing with her? She's fucking weird!" Jungkook yells in earshot of Haesol. You look at her, and she's already collecting her stuff and running off.

You turn to Jungkook, you don't think, and you smack him across the face. "The only one who is acting weird and crazy here is you; you tore that girl apart." Jungkook rubs his hand against his face.

"Leave me alone. I never want to see you again." Jungkook falls to his knees.

"No, please." He pleads at your legs.

"Let go of me." You try to kick him off.

"No, I can't live without you; I can't—I-ple—I just can." He stuttered like crazy, and his face was pale.

You look at him, gasping for air. He grips his chest. You get worried and move down to him. "Hey, it's okay. Calm down." You take his face, making sure he looks at you.

"Jungkook, breath. You're having a panic attack." He nods, and you hug him. Bringing your chest to his, you can feel his heart beating as if it were to explode.

" Breath with me, Koo, yeah." You start to take deep breaths, and he later follows. His heart calmed down. You tap his shoulders as you breathe. Jungkook hugs you to his body.

"Please let me try again." silence

"Please just stay for a while."

"Let's get you home, Koo." You stand up together, taking his hand in yours, and walk to his apartment.

The walk is silent; you just breathe through your nose, starting at the ground and checking on Jungkook every few minutes. He starts in the distance.

Making it up to his house, you take off your shoes. He does the same, and he sits on his couch, sighing.

You look around. It's been months since you've been here. The place feels familiar; it smells the same and looks the same. Nothing has changed.

You stand behind the couch, the kitchen island pressing into your lower half.

"Marco?" Jungkook says to you, Smile at the silly game.

"Polo" Jungkook stands, coming towards you. His hands are on your face. He digs his nose into the slope of your neck. Smelling you. Damn, he's missed that smell. The smell of you. You in his space.

Our space

He takes your face in his hand. " What have I ever done for you to hate me so much?" You try to push him away. But he holds you tighter, his grip firm. "I don't hate you," you whisper, his breath warm against your skin. "I love you."

"Jungkook, don't " you threaten. But he just chuckles, his eyes filled with sincerity. "I mean it," he says softly. "I love you more than anything." You feel your heart race as you realize the depth of his feelings for you.

He laughs, "Just one kiss, please " You start pushing him off of you, and Jungkook shuts you up by kissing you. It's so deep, you want to scream in his mouth. You bite down on his lower lip. He groans, but he turns you over, slamming you against the island. He flips your dress up. You feel a rush of fire as he presses his body against yours, his hands exploring every inch of your skin. Jungkook whispers in your ear, "I can't get enough of you." The intensity of the moment leaves you breathless, lost in the darkness between you two.

"Jungkook-ah" Jungkook's finger finds your cunt, and you are surprisingly wet. "Please," you beg, unable to contain the overwhelming feeling that consumes you. Your cunt clenching over nothing. Jungkook smirks before giving you what you want, his touch sending shivers down your spine. You moan, but damn, you missed this. "Just shut up. I need you right now, please " His fingers brush past your spot, lightly cursing around the fabric of your underwear covering your pussy. His voice is low and husky, sending a wave of pleasure through your body. You can't help but arch your back, craving more of his touch as he teases you with a wicked grin. His eyes darken as he slowly slides your underwear off, his gaze never leaving yours. You feel a rush of anticipation as his fingers finally contact your bare skin, sending a wave of warmth through your body.

"Fuck, babe, I need you." Silence

“Jungkook”

Jungkook plays with the hem of your underwear as his finger plays with your wetness, a slow and lengthy finger massaging its way into your core. His touch ignites a fire within you, causing your breath to hitch in your throat. The intensity of his gaze locks you in place, completely under his spell. You can feel the heat building between you; the tension is palpable as he leans in closer, his lips brushing against your ear. His whispered words send shivers down your spine, making you ache for more of his touch. Jungkook's presence overwhelms your senses, leaving you craving every moment of pleasure he has to offer.

"Fuck this," Jungkook says before he plunges into you. His fingers are hard and fast. Your cunt is clenching around his fingers. "Always think about yourself," you say. Your face hits the cold granite. His movements are rough and urgent, sending waves of pleasure through your body. The intensity of the moment leaves you wanting more than his finger deep inside you. Lost in a whirlwind of desire and ecstasy.

"Yeah, maybe. What are you going to do, huh?" Your core is burning, and white heat is flowing through your body. You are so mad and wet. But damn, is he taking you right now on his fingers. His thumb rolls over your nub, and you moan loudly.

"J-Jungkook, what about Jim-?"

"Fuck that bitch; he doesn't deserve you. And that girl you live with” you turn, looking at him.

"W-what?" You stare at him. He plants his head on your back. Kissing down your spine. Jungkook fingers his hand deeper than before, and he grips your chest.

"Nothing." You moan as he moves to your nipples. Sucking and pulling at the hard point. "No, no, you are lying," you say, shaking your head. He smirks against your skin, his fingers moving faster inside you. "I'm not lying, baby. You deserve so much better." You feel a mixture of pleasure and confusion as his words sink in, and the intense touch overwhelms your sensitive clit.

There is no way you picked another shitty dude. Jungkook kneels, meeting your sopping cunt. "Forget him; we'll worry about it later." His tongue meets your soaking pussy, his tongue licking you up and down.

He moves fast, sinking into you. You're a fucking mess, but you take it. You're already here. You start grinding on his face. He moans under you. Your hands are in his hair. You ride his face, and Jungkook grips your ass. Moving his tongue across your pallet.

Standing up, turn your chest toward him. You pull him up by his hair, yanking his sweats off. "Please," you whine. Jungkook does just that. Entering your heat. You both moan at the sensation. "Fuck, I missed this," he says, picking you up from the floor, your legs wrapping around his waist. His thrusts are deep and intense, causing you to lose yourself in pleasure. You cling to him as he carries you, continuing to explore each other's desires with fervor. He carries you to the nearest surface, still inside you, and continues to thrust deeply. The intensity of the moment overwhelms both of you as you cling to each other.

He bottoms out, fucking you into oblivion. "Forgive me, baby; I'll treat you better, please. I can't live without you." You moan as he slows down, caressing your face.

"Please, baby, please." You nod. He kisses you with his tongue, exploring your mouth.

"Baby, answer," you whimper, your brain not making up any words at the moment. Jungkook pumps his dick into you. You think about him and your relationship. And how are you cheating on Jimin right now? But you don't feel bad. You know deep in your heart. It belongs to Jungkook. You feel a mix of guilt and desire, torn between two lovers. But in this moment, all you can focus on is the intense pleasure Jungkook is giving you. Your mind drifts away from any thoughts of Jimin as you give yourself fully to Jungkook's touch.

"No"

"Why? You think that asshole Jimin is better?" He thrust hard at the sound of Jimin's name. Smacking your ass against his hand. Jungkook puts you down. Turning you around, he slips his cock into you as he chokes you, staring in the mirror across the kitchen. He looks at his mess, which is you. Your hair looks crazy because of his grip and the mascara running down your cheeks. Your face is a bit washed out, too. But he pushes into your heat. Thrust into you again. And millions of times over again. Your body responds eagerly to his every move, craving more of his touch. Jungkook's intensity only adds to the pleasure, making you lose yourself in the moment. You moan his name, feeling the intensity of his desire for you. Jungkook's hands grip your hips tightly as he continues to move inside you with a primal need. Your body responds eagerly to his every touch. His grip tightens as he whispers, "You're mine, not his." Jungkook's eyes darken with possessiveness as he continues to dominate you, claiming you as his own in every way possible.

"No"

Your lip trembles as you start crying, tears fall on your face, and Jungkook's continued fucking you. You whimper, and you hold Jungkook tight, all the emotions slapping you in the face.

You feel your orgasm cresting, and you continue to fuck yourself. You moan his name, grinding against him. He hugs you tight. You both are in sync. Breathing out and looking at each other. He kisses you one final time.

"Be with me," he whispers.

"No, " you say, looking into his eyes.

"We can manage."

"No." You apply. He groans, slipping out of your heat.

You sigh, wiping away your tears. Then you get mad.

"Y/N" You pick up your stuff from the floor. Jungkook sighs, and you storm out of the house. Heading to your apartment.

You have walked up to your apartment, opened the door, and slammed it closed so hard that one of your paintings fell off the wall.

You sits on the bar stool, gripping your hair. Jungkook is just trying to get in your head.

Lena storms out of her room, relaxing when she sees you. She's half undressed, but then her face turns bright red, and she's trying to cover herself with the loose sheet wrapped around her body haphazardly.

You peer into her room seeing Jimin.

"Well, isn't this a view?" You push her out of the way, seeing Jimin in her bed. Fuming, you point to the door.

"Wait, wait, Y/N, please," she pleads beside you. She tries to grab your arm. "Lena, I swear to God that if you don't leave, I'll put you out," you threatened.

"Y/N, you can't do that; I live here."

"Not legally, your name isn't on my lease, and you haven't paid rent in months." Lena tries to reckon with you again, but you've heard enough.

"Y/N, just fucking listen." You turn.

"Just because you can't find happiness doesn't mean others can't be happy." You look at her, confused.

"Lena, you're the one ruining my happiness here. You slept with my boyfriend, you fucking bitch!"

"A boyfriend you didn't even like. You love to play the victim here”, but you turn, slapping her in the face. "Out." She starts crying at the blow as she kneels, begging for your forgiveness. You stare at Jimin, who's on the bed, as calm as he can be.

You pick up his clothes from the floor, launching them outside the apartment. "Hey, what the fuck?" He yells, but you don't listen. You go to your room, remove the whole damn drawer of stuff that belongs to him, and chuck it out the door. You see red, and you're not thinking about what you're doing, and this probably looks psychotic.

Jimin follows you into the room, takes your wrist, and pins you against the wall. "Stop acting crazy; just tell lies." SMACK You push him away, dragging Lena out of your house. Throwing her out in the hallway, not caring if she's naked or her clothes are outside, she can figure that out by herself.

The same goes for him and his car keys, and you close your door.

~

You stand in your apartment as movers take Lena's stuff. It's been 3 days since your fight, and she doesn't dare step foot in the house. You heard that she was moving in with Jimin. You could care less.

You see his car park outside the window.

The movers take her bed and everything she's bought. Eight years of friendship are gone. Yeah, for men you didn't even like, but still. You walk out of your apartment, standing in front of Lena.

She points her head down, and you roll your eyes.

"You own me" she looks up.

"For what?"

"You haven't paid me rent in six months. So, I can either sue you, and you will have to pay a lawyer court fee, and me. Or you can just owe me." Tears fall from her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I don't know where this all went wrong."

"I didn't even like him; you knew that. I was trying to fix myself. Yeah, being with someone in the midst of a breakup is crazy, but I did that. For me, myself. I wanted to love him. I did. I tried. I tried hard. But it's difficult when a brick wall is in the middle of the way." Lena breaks down in tears, and you kind of feel bad.

"Look, I love you. But he’s just something; I'm sorry if I hurt you; it was just a lot." You nod at her response.

"I won't forgive you now, but hopefully one day we can acquaint ourselves."

She nods, wiping her tears and looking at me.

"I'll try to make it last; if he breaks up with me in two weeks, I'll be fucked," she laughs a bit. You didn't crack a smile.

"Gotta fight your own battles, sweetie."

The movers are finally done, so you walk back into your apartment, closing the door. Starting in the empty room.

You are sitting in your living room, staring at the blank white wall next to your TV, and the Love is Blind episode is being ignored. Your food from earlier forgotten on the coffee table.

A soft knock at the door breaks your daydream. You get up, open the door, and Jungkook stands on the other side.

"Hi," he says with a smile. You focus on him. Your eyes begin to water when you see him. You manage to say, "Hey, Jungkook," while fighting back tears. He enters and gives you a reassuring hug, sensing the feelings you are experiencing at that precise moment.

As he holds you close, you whisper, "I missed you," and a wave of relief washes over you. Jungkook leans back a little and gives you a comforting smile as he looks into your eyes. He whispers, "I missed you too," and then gently wipes away the tears that had begun to fall.

With a sincere tone, he says, "I'm here now, I swear." Grateful for his presence, you cling to him tightly and experience a wave of peace.

With his warmth enveloping you in a consoling embrace, Jungkook draws you in closer. "He whispers, 'I love you,' and plants a kiss on your forehead.

Your soul is soothed, and any fears or worries that may have been lingering in your heart are eased by Jungkook's love and comfort. Knowing that you are genuinely loved and cared for right now causes you to feel at ease. The presence of Jungkook serves as a constant reminder that you are never alone and that maybe.

"Can we try again? I'll be better; I'll be the best." You laugh in his chest and feel a sense of peace wash over you like a warm blanket.

"Yes." Jungkook hugs you tighter, his arms large and tight around your body. "Jungkook, kiss me." His lips meet yours in a gentle yet passionate kiss, sealing your decision to give love another chance. The warmth of his embrace and the softness of his touch reassure you that this time, things will be different. You wrap your fingers through its soft hair as you two move back into the wall.

Jungkook grauts, and you feel his hard bulge against your thigh. Jungkook grinds his body into yours, and you smile at him. "Eager," you say, smiling, and Jungkook lands a passing kiss on your lips. “Very much so” Jungkook's hands are running across your body as the air starts to get thicker, and Jungkook's cock pokes you harder. He lets out a hard sigh. "I need you so bad right now, baby." You feel a surge of hunger as Jungkook's words send shivers down your spine.

With a hungry look in his eyes, he whispers, "I want you more than anything." You run your hands up and down his torso, your hands running the length of his body, feeling the warmth and strength of his muscles beneath your fingertips. " Let's make it right this time; I don't want to rush this." Jungkook breathed into you as he spoke softly, his warm breath tickling your skin. You take his hand, leading him into your bedroom.

You two are walking past the old, empty bedroom. Jungkook stopped in his tracks, peering inside. " I kicked her out. I don't do betrayal."Jungkook looks at you, the silken defying, then grabs your wrist. " I didn't know for long; I found out while I went to Renji's party." Jungkook starts to leave wet kisses on your neck.

You hum in satisfaction. "The same party that you insulted that girl at?" Jungkook hums. "Yeah, but she was assaulting me tho; that fucking Werido was rubbing on my dick mid-crowd; she knew what she was doing." You couldn't help but get turned on by Jungkook's possessive behavior.

You laugh and you kiss him, your tongues brushing. As you pull away, Jungkook's eyes darken with desire, and he whispers, "You're mine, always." His possessiveness ignited a fire within you, making you crave more of his attention and affection. You are lucky to have him back, protective and devoted to you.

"Baby, I’m so happy," Jungkook pulls away for a second, his heart feeling heavy for a second, before he smiles and pulls you back into his arms, whispering sweet promises of forever. "You make me feel complete," Jungkook murmurs, his voice filled with sincerity. His words resonate deep within your heart.

His embrace is a safe haven, a place where you feel truly cherished and valued. With Jungkook by your side, you know that you are loved unconditionally.

You close the distance, taking him into your arms to pull him against your chest. You are still standing your knees hitting the back of the bed. Nuzzling your face into the crook of his neck so you could kiss him. You rub your left hand against his cock while tracing the bridge of his nose with your pointer finger. A touch, as it contains a kind of relief that can ease Jungkook's tension in any way. With his eyes closed, Jungkook lets out a sigh of relief.

“Put me to bed, and stay in it this time?”

He's planting a kiss on you. A kiss to stay all the nights need. You were whimpering, and Jungkook put his fingers behind your head and pressed his lips into a deeper kiss. You sit on the bed, Jungkook now kneeling in-front of you He's giving you another kiss. He's coming to terms with the fact that he's back with you. Looking for your taste, he draws you in closer while putting his arms around your head. You open your mouth, meeting his begging tongue, and run your fingers through his silky hair.

His left hand is cuddling your face, his hand is reaching as far into your body as your hand will allow, he squeezes your nipple playing with the harden bud. The tension from you body witting. He grunts into a kiss as his body craves your contact, claiming your lips once more.

You two are only separated, but the thin layers of clothes but you can still feel everything coming in contract with body. From yours to Jungkook’s, Jungkook moves away and peels his clothes off. You looking at his toned body and the sleeve of tattoos.

Your clothing comes next. He pulls your shirt open, putting his arm under it. Gently, he takes you in his hand and, as his hand slides up and under your shirt, you press against him. He shudders. You are wearing nothing underneath, and he can sense how warm it is beneath your breast.

He needs you to be so much closer than you are right now as he grabs the bundle of fabric and twists. You rise from the bed to the point where you can remove your shirt. You toss it aside and collapse once more.

After cradling you against his chest and moaning, "So pretty, baby, so soft," Jungkook says. His right hand rests on the back of your head, supporting it while he buries his face in the curve of your neck.

You savor the moment, feeling his warmth and comfort enveloping you. Jungkook's embrace is like coming home after a long journey, making you feel safe and loved. It was so long that your skin unintentionally began to forget his warmth and tenderness.

You mumble, putting your fingers deep in his hair, "I missed you. " You draw him in closer. The pressure of your breasts on his chest is like nothing else. Jungkook keeps his arms wrapped around you and obeys. You approach him and reach out to touch his length.

He lets out a shaky grunt as you run your fingertips over his covered tip. A little mown falls out his lips next. You smile at the sound, knowing you have him right where you want him to be. With a mischievous glint in your eye, you whisper, "I'm going to make sure you never forget me again."

When Jungkook's left hand comes your clit, it naturally goes down your body. To let him in deeper you wrap your leg around his waist. His fingertips sink into your heat, sending lightning through you. "Shit," you mutter as you move away. You grasp his cock and begin stroking it. He grows hard and swiftly.

Similar to how you immediately get his fingertips wet with your essence. You swiftly wrap your fingers around his cock. Your touches are genuine and driven solely by desperation; they are not well coordinated.

With a sigh, Jungkook leans back, and you plant a soft kiss on his lips. Tiny touches, tongue traces, and tingling groans. There is an intolerable amount of tension between you and him. As you tighten your grip on his cock , you stroke him faster.

Your hip is gripped by Jungkook. Sweat is dripping off his skin. As you both give in to your intense need for one another, desire permeates the air. With his fingers sinking into your flesh, Jungkook breathes your name, his breath catching as he does so.

Every touch, every gasp, and every second spent together strengthens the bond between you two. It's just another piece of evidence that the two of you have finally reconnected. “You feel so good," he salutes and shimmys down a bit to get his cock inside. There is no friction, no pain, and no effort. Just bliss and warmth. You savage him with a "holy fuck" as you get closer, beyond your entrance. Your cozy walls surround him. You lay on the on the bed, Jungkook’s body’s towering over yours

This is how deep his thrusts go, and your leg is around him. It seems like you're overflowing with him. Your motions and his are in perfect harmony, producing a rhythm that almost feels natural.

You approach him by his hair and give him a shake while remarking, "Jungkook, you are so good." The darkness intensifies the moment as you kiss his lips and give him a deep tongue kiss. Its sounds become part of the chaotic rutting of your hips. The flutter of the sheets and your own constant, desperation-filled groans are audible to you both. The world disappears at that instant, On the areas where you’ve meet together, sweat has collected. Despite you body being slick from the sweat you pull each other closer as you enjoy the warmth. There is no other way for us to melt together. "I love you." Jungkook whispers in your ear, his voice filled with sincerity and passion. The moment is pure and raw, a testament to the love that burns between you both.

"I love you too" in between your mouthfuls of saliva, but Jungkook is aware of it all. He would know even if words were not used. from the way your pussy is writhing around him your walls and his cock brushing past each other. "You feel so good," you moan and rut against him before your lips suck on his lower lip needily.

“Yeah baby, gunna come for me?”

Jungkook moans and grunts into your ear. He feels his legs tremble as he fucks into you.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck”

Furthermore, you are famished. You fuck against Jungkook as hard as you can, and he fucks you as hard as he can. This leads to these intense, flaming thrusts that fill you to the brim with his cock and make you feel every inch of your pussy in return.

Jungkook is gasping for breath in between his frantic groans. You're drenched with wetness, too. There is an undeniable, primitive energy between the two. Jungkook’s cocks is kissing your spot and you feel the white hot heat moves through your tummy.

“Cum inside” Jungkook tugs you in closer while giving you a back scratch. His left hand stills your hips cupping your ass. You can't help but arch into him when he touches you; his passionate passion sends thrills down your spine. You feel your orgasm hitting you and you arch you back up into him. “Yeah baby cum on my dick”

You rolls over onto your stomach Jungkook slipping out of you momentarily. You gain the strength to carry your self lower body onto your knees. Jungkook follows rubbing his cock along your pussy. Jungkook slips back into his legs burning at the intense thrusting but he can fell his orgasm coming to life. The burning heat traveling up his cock

The other leg is bearing down on him, as he penetrates you, you can feel his toned thighs change and tighten. He makes clumsy thrusts that are so flawlessly disorganized that they appear synchronized. It makes the mattress rock.

Because he is now fucking your senses to death, you hardly notice it. This type of fuck serves as a reminder of how he captured your heart and demonstrates why you could never want to be apart from him.

With a groan, Jungkook rests his head on the bend of your neck. He draws you in until his front is on you back. Your knees dropping down to the mattress. Jungkook brings his arm around your neck. Leaving you in a soft headlock as he grained out your and his high.

"Fuck baby" Jungkook exits and gives your neck a hard squeeze as your body feels euphoric. You feel so close to him, pulsating and scorching. He still needs it for a longer time. Even when you are already coming down, he isn't done. He doesn't know if he is holding back because he is avaricious for more or if his body is simply functioning this way at the moment. He requires more. He desires that you remain longer.

Just a bit longer

But a it’s was shot to shit. Few moments later you’re cumming around him your cunt clenching rapidly and Jungkook’s cum inside of you. The long ropes of cum shot so deep inside you fell light headed after.

Jungkook stays in his position for a while letting his body cool down. He places a kiss on you ear.

“We’re doing this again”

“Wha…” you half ass asleep, but Jungkook rolls you over. Moving down to your pussy that leaks out his cum all over the like pink sheets.

“Gotta clean you up” he opens you legs licking long strokes up you cunt. You hum in satisfaction. After a bit. Jungkook positions himself at your entrance. His cock rock solid again.

“I thought you were cleaning me up?”

Jungkook smiles and kisses you check you eye closed as you pumps inside you.

“Well I changed my mind”

“Asshole” you smile, and Jungkook fucks you till you can’t even speak words.

Epoliuge.

"Jungkook, please, this isn’t the time for this." Though you came here on your own initiative and are now bent over in a cornfield, Jungkook was the one with the great idea to get in a mid-field fuck.

You grabbing onto a bench near by and Jungkook pounds into your pussy. The erotic sounds loud in the quiet field away from all the people. Jungkoook fucks you hard and rough not letting you catch at break at any moment.

“You want to keep yelling at me? Now look at you, getting fucked in a field” Jungkook pulls out, his cock pulsating. You try to stand up breath for the first time in 7 minutes but no.

Jungkook positions you downward again. Smacking your ass. You yelp and the sting. With a groan, "Not finished yet," he grabs your head by your hair. Jungkook sliding a his finger against you other hole. You moan, thinking about what his planning .

“What did I tell I’d about you attitude?” You wince not wanting to respond. Jungkook smacks your ass harder. “I asked you a question?”

He always grits his teeth and scowls after a hard fuck, so you can be sure he's doing it now. Ju-Ju-Jungkook" uses a name to trick you. The precise areas that are robbing you of your sanity are where he is pressing his cock into. . "Jungkook! I'm going."

"To cum, go ahead.".

"No, not that"

"baby girl, are you gunna?."

You cling to his arm. He drills you like an animal, into your ass. You scream but Jungkook covers your mouth. You cum, and you juices spill out of you. The mess leaking into the ground.

He fucks you deep into the earth, just as he fucks you deep into a fuzzy state of happiness. Nothing he told you would make sense to you right now. You drool escaping your mouth as Jungkook draws his final breath. Instead, you cry his name while writhing in despair.

Jungkook spits and grunts, "Fuck." He stutters a little in his hips. With a relentless hammering that sends your body into another orgasm, he asks if you "have to go again."

Your voice gave up on you before you could get his name out. You could not breathe either, kneels there on your front, your back relaxed and your mouth parted as Jungkook tore heaven from you. His cock hurts, his balls feel constricted, and the knot in his stomach is becoming worse. He takes a big breath, lets it out through his lips, and lies down. his head in the hollow of your neck.

With a high-pitched moan, he says, "I'm going to cum inside." He falters in his hips but does not slow down. He says in a whisper, "This ass is so damn tight; better not complain if I start fucking it more than your pussy," and keeps pushing. You close your eyes while keeping your right hand on his rigid arm. The need to feel him paint your walls won't go away.

With a tearful "I love you," he lets go. He doesn't stay silent the way you did. He's a noisy person. After a little while, you told him to shut thd fuck up. He was now sucking on your neck.

Jungkook paints you white till his body gives up on him and the paint runs out. The drop is sharp. Even when he finished, Jungkook continued to screw you, so you were never able to calm down. He also feels the need for your hug since he fucked himself so badly that it almost destroyed his damn self.

"So tired," but Jungkook smacks your ass gently as he stands up. Pulling your white dress down and draws your panties up. Even if he pulls you up, you fall back to the ground violently.

"Are you okay? Was I too rough?" He speaks but you don’t even listen. As he attempts to find a way out of the awful field, Jungkook carries you on his back.

You stated to argue with Jungkook when he told you for the one hundredth time that you two were lost in a field of corn.

Which is why you are now being carried out of here folded up like a lawn chair

🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮

Hope this cured your hearts

This is the version on my notes because I posted this by accident so if you read it again this one is a bit different then first version of this mess

𝗧𝗮𝗴𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁🝮 @cassies-cookies @httpjeonlicious @7thsthings @oopscoop @hoseokteardrop @chxhoneyyxx

[kentopedia]

˚☽˚｡⋆ shining like gunmetal

dazai x f!reader, 3.0k words

summary — dazai comes home late, covered in someone's blood

contents — pm reader & pm boss dazai, references to violence / torture lol, sfw !!, the plot is basically cleaning blood off dazai

notes — i thought this would help me get pm dazai out of my system, but i fear i may have to write another nsfw piece for that

Each turn of the clock became longer and longer as you watched the seconds tick down, signaling that another minute had passed. The sun had long since set; your dining room was illuminated only by candles, creating a romantic ambiance throughout the penthouse.

Across from you, an empty seat sat, its usual inhabitant absent. An array of food scattered across the table, far too much for just one person to eat. Perhaps, even, there would be leftovers for days after.

Your housekeeper, Izumi, set the last plate of hot food on the table, her eyes nervous as she flitted back to you, then to the spot where Dazai usually sat. While her usual duties did not include cooking, you’d recruited her that evening, hopeful that she could help you prepare all of Dazai’s favorite dishes. 

You'd just wanted to do something special for your beloved, and he wasn’t even there to enjoy it. 

Steam lingered on each of the platters, but it was quickly wafting away, evaporating into the cool air of the Yokohama evening. All of your hard work over the past few hours would seem insignificant if the Port Mafia's boss didn’t return before the meal cooled completely. 

You drummed your fingers against the table, trying hard not to give in to your annoyance. 

“He’s late.” You spoke the words to no one in particular, an observation that anyone could discern with their own two eyes. 

Still, you kept your gaze harsh on the empty seat, as if willing Dazai to materialize from thin air. 

The comment still seemed to shake Izumi from a trance, even if it had been nothing more than the obvious. She twisted her fingers together, flattening her top farther over her waist band. Although she was one of the only people in the mafia that saw the softer side of Dazai, the one he reserved just for you, she was still overwhelmingly intimidated by him. 

“I’m sorry, miss,” she said, even though you always reminded her that it was fine to address you by your name. “I can take it back into the kitchen and—”

You stopped her with a sigh, shaking your head before letting it drop into your hands. “No need. I’m sure he’ll be here soon,” you assured her, but it was already ten minutes past seven—the hour that Dazai had said he’d be back for dinner. 

Usually, you wouldn’t have minded. You knew that Dazai was busy, that the tasks piled onto him were unending and overwhelming. Even though you hated seeing him overwork himself, it was always alright. He never took his stress out on you and always showered you with affection upon his return from a long day. 

Tonight, though, he’d promised that he’d be there, right on time, for dinner. You agreed upon that hour beforehand, and he still hadn’t showed. 

Izumi looked at your disappointed expression, knowing how much the small moments with Dazai meant to you. You never doubted that you were the most important person in his life, and you never would. 

Despite that steadfast belief, you still ached when his work began to cut in on his time with you. 

“Give him a couple more minutes,” Izumi said, smiling as she squeezed your arm gently. She was just a few years older than you, but there was a motherly glint to her eyes when she regarded you, her affection just barely veiled. 

Over the past few years, you’d persuaded her to see you as more than just her employer, at the very least. There would always been a thin shield of professionalism between you, but now, you considered her something of a friend. 

You dispelled all your irritation on a steady exhale and did as she suggested, waiting five more minutes. The heat began to dissipate from the cooling food, the plates and bowls no longer hot to the touch. 

The time reached 7:15. Izumi returned from the kitchen again with a frown, wiping her hands on a cloth. “Is there anything you’d like me to do?” She asked, sympathetic to your spoiled night, her usually bright eyes dimming. 

You stood, the chair screeching as you pushed it away. Though it seemed like such a small issue compared to all the other dilemmas you’d faced with Dazai, the burning desire of tears began to make its way up your throat.

You shook your head, standing taller, trying to remind yourself that someone proud enough to stand next to Dazai wouldn’t cry about something so inconsequential.  

“I’ll take it to my room, if you don’t mind,” you said, and Izumi nodded, smiling at you, softly, but without the pity that she knew you hated. 

She made her way to your seat, to gather up a plate to bring to you in a moment. Though, she didn’t get far in her task, and you didn’t make it out of the room. Seconds later, Dazai was pushing open the door, his footsteps sharp in the otherwise quiet hall. 

You looked up at him, frowning, a complaint already parting your lips as you assessed his appearance. 

Dazai’s shirt was undone, his hair a mess, stands stuck to his forehead, creasing at unusual ends. He was covered in blood from head to toe, the deep color staining his crisp white top. It had splattered against his cheek, his suit, even on his shoes, creating an intimidating vision of gore. The bandages around his wrists had loosened, soaked a muddy brown from the oxidation. Dazai’s tie had also been discarded, the dark silk peeking out of his pocket. 

Despite the violence of his appearance, his eyes were soft as he headed to you, unbothered by anything else in the room. “I’m so sorry I’m late, my love,” he apologized profusely, his voice low and gentle, eyes crestfallen in a way that had you forgiving him on the spot.

Still, you pinned him with your gaze, letting him feel every second of those fifteen minutes you'd believed that he’d forgotten his promise. The distance between you felt cold, even when there was hardly any of it between you.

“You told me you’d be here,” you said with a frown. The food had continued to cool. All you’d wanted was to give him an ounce of kindness in his world of endless hurt.

“I know.” Bloodied, delicate fingers were on your elbow, barely grazing your skin as he attempted to ease you into him. “I really am sorry. I got caught up with something.”

You were no stranger to his definition of something.

Dazai began to lean in, hopeful that he could erase your worries with a kiss, but you held an arm out, keeping him away.

“Don’t kiss me with blood on your face,” you said, the bite only reaching the end of your sentence, even if it didn’t fully reflect your emotions. A desperate desire to be near him battled every move you made. 

“It was an apology kiss.” Dazai's bottom lip curled into a pout. 

You refused to be swayed by the vulnerability in his wide brown eyes. “I don’t want it.”

He glowered for a moment longer, trying to topple your pride. When he got nowhere, he gestured towards your seat, hoping you'd take your place once more.

“Fine,” he said dramatically. "I’ll pretend that didn’t hurt my feelings.” 

You wrinkled your brow, displeased by the insinuation that you would carry on as normal. 

Wearily, Dazai leaned against the chair, and waited. When you did nothing, he pushed it back in, eyeing you skeptically. “Do you not want to eat anymore?” He asked, frowning. It seemed he was not upset, but unsure of where you stood on the matter.

You made a face. “I can’t sit across the table from you and have a cheerful dinner conversation while you’ve got someone else’s blood coating your entire body.” 

Dazai looked down, as if only realizing for the first time that he was stained ruby red. “The food will get cold, darling.” 

“You should’ve been on time, then.” It came out more clipped than you meant it to, and Dazai just stared back, his expression terse as you communicated silently. 

Izumi, finally, made her presence known as she cleared her throat, directing both of your attentions back to her. “I can warm it,” she said, darting her eyes away when Dazai’s piercing gaze reached her. “If you’d like.” 

Dazai began to object, but you spoke over him, knowing his abrasive words would only upset her. Instead, you laced your fingers with his to drag him out of the dining room. “Thank you, Izumi. We’ll only be a minute.” 

You shuttled him into the bathroom, and Dazai remained uncharacteristically quiet, gauging your mood as you shut the door behind the two of you.

“Sit,” you said, perching him at the edge of the sink. Dazai blinked, but said nothing. His long legs stretched against the cabinets, feet reaching the floor, even as he rested his weight on the countertop.

You maneuvered around the bathroom, opening cabinets and shutting drawers, feeling Dazai's watchful eyes on you.

“You look beautiful,” he said, smiling, allowing his infatuation to consume him completely, now that you were alone. “As always. That dress looks particularly stunning on you, though. You should wear it more often.” He tried to lure you in by the waist, but you dodged him once more, letting him huff in annoyance. 

"Thank you," you said, barely above a whisper, and left him sitting in the bathroom alone.

Hastily, you returned to your bedroom, rummaging through his closet for a clean top. Though he had so many of the same styles, you settled on a silk, black button-up, one that would pair nicely with your own evening gown.

When you returned, Dazai was leaning against the mirror, eyes closed, the dirtied and discarded bandages ripped from his face.

Over the past few weeks, his hair had grown longer, curling around his jaw and over his eyebrows, thick and tangled from whatever damage he’d inflicted before coming home to you.

Yet, you softened at the sight of him so open, wishing you could take even an ounce of that stress off his shoulders. 

As he breathed, evenly and slowly, you ran a washcloth under the water, warming it. You could feel Dazai’s eyes on you as you hummed, busying yourself with the task at hand.

“I can’t tell if you’re actually mad at me or not,” he said, and though he forced out a laugh, the concern in his eyes was more real than he wanted you to believe. “I really am sorry.”

It was almost amusing that this was the man everyone in the city feared. When people looked at Dazai, it was never with affection, never with the deepest humanity within your own heart. Even when he’d always had so much love to give, just nowhere to put it until he'd met you.

Perhaps, in another universe, life had been kinder to him. 

You exhaled and relaxed, offering him the smallest of smiles. The wash cloth foamed with soap as you poured it, a fresh aroma of honey and vanilla fusing into the space between you. 

“I’m not mad, Osamu,” you said, and he visibly relaxed, hooking his ankles around yours while you stood between his thighs. “I was more disappointed than anything. I hate missing out on time with you.” You frowned and brushed the hair off his forehead, tucking longer strands behind his ears. “Will you take a break every once in a while?” 

Dazai melted under your soft touch, preening with a cheeky grin. “Of course I will.” He brushed his thumb over your cheeks, dark eyelashes fanning the sharp bones of his face as he stared, astonished by your care. “I’ve been busy this week, and I apologize. Just say the word, and I’m yours for a day, a week, a month.” He exhaled, unsteadily. “All you have to do is ask.” 

You smiled, and though you wouldn't ask for so much time with him, not when things were so hectic with the mafia, it was nice to know that you could.

Slowly, you ran the cloth over the splattered blood, wiping it off inch by inch. His skin tone returned to normal, the deep red stain erasing. 

“What happened this time?”

Dazai sighed, dropping his chin to his chest, releasing every ounce of cruelty from his being. It was so hard to reconcile the two sides of him. He was sweet to you, caring and gentle. But you’d seen him when he was out of your embrace, faced with an enemy, a subordinate that hadn’t followed rules. He so swiftly morphed into someone that was cruel, merciless, offering them a smile only in mockery. 

“Some idiot was leaking information to another group,” Dazai said, tracing patterns on your hips. “If he would’ve been smart, he would’ve realized he never had access to anything of substance. I don’t know why risking his position with us was worth some extra pocket money.”

You frowned. “It took you this long to figure out his plans?” It seemed impossible that anyone could have something to hold over Dazai.

He laughed darkly, no humor within in. “I had a few eyes on him, but I was waiting for some definitive proof. He’s been here for quite a while, and he questioned why he never promoted.”

Dazai rolled his eyes, never understanding how people could be so foolish, could let emotions rule their decisions over logic. 

You nodded, understanding as you wiped his lips clean, erasing all traces of blood from his pores. Once his skin was fresh, he leaned forward, capturing you in a kiss that nearly had you dropping the cloth back into the sink. 

Dazai pulled away, smoothly, even when you had been left breathless. “Don’t worry about it, my love.”

“The mafia is important to me too." You scrunched your features. “If something’s going on, I want to know.”

Dazai smiled lazily, leaning back onto the counter, the picture of nonchalance. “If I really thought it was worth getting worked up about, I’d tell you.” He curled a piece of your hair around his finger, playing with it idly. “Why? You think I don’t trust my favorite girl?” 

You stiffened, defensive, before releasing your shoulders once more, dropping your gaze to his chest. Slowly, you began to undo the buttons of his top, the threads so stained that it was beyond repair. “I don’t know, Osamu. You keep so many secrets. Sometimes I’m not sure.” 

Dazai was quiet, eyebrows raised as he assessed you. When you reached the fourth button of his top, he grabbed your wrist, forcing your attention back to him.

“I don’t keep secrets from you, sweetheart.” He tugged you closer, curling the other arm around your back, skirting between your shoulder blades. Dazai dipped his head, tenderly kissing your fragile collarbone, the touch so airy that it sent your heart racing. “You’re the only person I really trust. If I thought you actually wanted to know every gory detail about the torment I inflicted, then I’d tell you.” 

You breathed in, closing your eyes to steady yourself. It didn’t take much for Dazai to remind you of every reason you’d ever loved him.

“I don’t care about that,” you said as Dazai rested his forehead against your own, keeping his eyes on yours’ even when your gaze was pinned to his chest. He released his soft grip to let you continue your task, and you were swallowing, onto the fifth button. “It was just a passing comment.” 

“Maybe so, but I don’t ever want you to think that I’m hiding things from you,” he said, fiercely.

You shrugged. “I would understand if there were things you couldn’t tell me. It doesn’t upset me.” When the shirt finally became undone completely, you slid it off Dazai’s shoulders, wadding it up into a ball to discard. 

He straightened, replacing the dirtied white top with the darker, softer one. “I can tell you whatever I want.” He scoffed, sliding the black buttons through the holes. “I’m the boss.”

“I just assumed the boss would have highly classified information that had to be contained to a select group of individuals.” 

Dazai made a face at you, like your statement was completely ridiculous. He stood to his full height, tilting your chin up towards him with one long, slender finger.

“Well then, someone should’ve told you that the boss’s wife is never excluded from that group." Dazai smiled at the flush on your cheeks when you allowed yourself to indulge in his touch. “You are my equal. There is nothing in this world that’s more important to me than you. Nothing of mine that doesn’t belong to you as well.” 

Sometimes, you felt undeserving of his affection. It was hard to believe that the man who owned half the city would hand that power over to you willingly, if only you asked.

Though, that grain of doubt lingered in your mind was poison, and you would fight it for as long as Dazai loved you truly. Instead, you smiled, cupping his cheek before standing on your tiptoes to kiss his forehead. “Forgive me if I forget from time to time.” 

Dazai laughed and shook off your grip so he could sling an arm around your shoulder. He was still wearing the dirtied pants, but the blood had dried, and your stomach longed for the meal that you knew was waiting for you. You could let it slide, if only this one time.

“I’ll try to remind you more often,” he said, lips grazing your temple. “I really am sorry I was late for dinner, angel. It won't happen again.” 

You laced your hand with his own free one. The touch was backwards and awkward, your palm cupping the back of his knuckles. You just needed to be closer to him, to feel the touch of his warm skin and know that, for now, his time was only your own.

With a honeyed look, you whispered the words close to his ear, slow and seductive. “I’m sure you can find a way to make it up to me.”

[mapoeggplant]

skip to loafer chapter 64 analysis // spoiler

the desire to be loved that distances her more and more from people: we are finally starting to understand a little more about yasaka's past.

unlike what I thought, the first spark that gave shape to the kyoto arc didn't come from shima or the girl groups, but from one of the most enigmatic characters in skip to loafer: yasaka.

we always knew very little about her and how her story unfolded. all we had was the understanding that she was a very lonely person with a complicated family situation and someone who sought people's love. and now, together with mitsumi, we are starting to understand more about where she was going with when she said that mitsumi had always been too loved to not care about what others thought.

yasaka clearly has a great desire to be loved, but she doesn't know exactly how to make people create stronger bonds with her. she believes that by being a person who is liked and desired by everyone and making these people feel good, she will get everything she wants — and this illusion may have been the result of a troubled relationship with her father, something that I believe is possible due to the small flashback she provides us.

she wants to be loved, she wants people to look at her with affection and not disapproval. being loved, pampered, praised is the way she understands love, something probably the result of a strict upbringing, where demanding anything more would result in a disappointed look. to escape this, yasaka always acts like a good girl, who gives double meaning answers and only says what others want to hear. the superficiality of the love she receives is enough to soften her ego and feed her well-being and the superficiality of the love she gives is enough to protect her from getting hurt.

but of course all of this is just a time bomb that is very close to exploding. yasaka puts on this persona of someone who does not want to be completely understood, but is unable to separate her frustration from the desire to form more meaningful relationships. she is not only shielding herself from people forming more mature relationships with her, but also doing her best to maintain superficiality so that her mask doesn't fall. another thing that solidifies this for me is the central page of yasaka surrounded by “affection” and gifts, showing exactly the loss of her childhood and the desire she still carries within her.

and what I like most about all of this is how mitsumi, someone completely opposite to her and who barely knows her, tries at all costs to cross this barrier that yasaka places between her and the world. by not allowing her to leave and insisting that she stay with the group, mitsumi is basically confirming to yasaka that it's okay for her to have her flaws and receive disapproving looks: her presence is still required and she is still a person who complements the group as a whole.

I really like how sensei is always willing to put two completely opposite characters so that they can externalize their flaws and fight against their barriers — and the relationship between mitsumi and yasaka is exactly another great example of this. on one side we have mitsumi, who grew up surrounded by love and affection, that’s why she’s so sure of herself and doesn’t need to seek validation on others. on the other, we have yasaka who craves affection so much to the point that she will drown herself in any small glass of it.

another thing i want to point out about this chapter is how being in love can blind you for flaws of the one you admire so much. when ujiie realized that yasaka isn’t the perfect girl he always saw, the first instinct he had was to deny it: of course his goddess wouldn’t have a flaw!! she’s 100% that girl he idolizes and loves so much. but what if this was all something he made up inside his mind?? how will ujiie deal with this heartbreaking of a confession?

another month blessed with another gorgeous chapter. sensei keeps surprising me more and more and can’t wait to see what she’s keeping as a secret from us. thank you so much for reading 💛!!

[meanbossart]

I realize this is a weirdly specific question, but what was DU Drow’s experience like first waking up on the Nautiloid/on the beach?

Like, was he wearing Bhaalist stuff when he woke up then? If he was, did he ditch it right away or did he just leave it on until he found gear in better shape or maybe just didn’t want to associate with that symbolism/organization anymore? Like what was the thought process for him there, assuming that were the case??? If he was wearing something else, what might it have been?

I ask because I finally started my first Dark Urge playthrough yesterday (YIPPEE) and am plagued with thoughts about my guy, wondering if maybe he had some Bhaalist gear on when he first fell out of the Nautiloid that slowly was switched out for other things as the story progressed. Then I was like “oh hey what about Drow??? What was going through his head when he woke up that morning on the beach??????” Especially bc I can’t imagine he had much time to look at what he was wearing on the Nautiloid while it was still flying around.

ANYWAYS. Apologies for the ramble, my brain is plagued with thoughts now that I’m finally doing a Durge run so I might come at you with more random ass questions in the future >:)))

First of all AYYYY have fun with your first durge run!!! I'm always open to more questions if they happen to pop up throughout the experience.

Now to your question: An Interesting one! Though my answer might be disappointing LOL

In my personal lore, DU drow woke up from the tank with nothing but some scrappy underwear on - hell, It would probably make more sense if he was fully nude, even, but that would make many of the companion introductions a little too awkward - so, tattered underwear it is.

Considering what Kressa had been doing to him, I imagine that she would have either removed or destroyed his clothes at some point during the experimentation. DU drow was stuck with her for at least a few weeks - so, even if she didn't promptly undress him, his outfit would have been far too slashed, cut, and caked with old blood to keep, and likely torn off so it would stop getting in the way.

Her husband (I think he's the one who ships you away, if memory serves me right) would have had little reason to send him off with dignity - BUT perhaps he slipped some briefs back onto the drow's body because he felt ashamed of the implications of his wife keeping a battered, nude man around.

So, DU drow slides out of his pod, caked with old blood with only some ill-fitting linens covering his groin. He picks up whatever sharp object he finds lying around for self defense and proceeds through the ship, barefoot, hair matted, having no idea who he is, what he looks like, or how he got here. He's completely overtaken by his self-preservation instincts and being confused is second to getting out of his situation alive. He goes along with Lae'zel because she seems to have at least some idea of what's going on, and he frees Shadowheart from her pod because she seems more trustworthy than Lae'zel.

He probably stripped the trousers off of one of the corpses lying around the beach after the actual crash (they would have been a little tight, but it's better than nothing) and god-willing was able to snatch some fresher underwear at the grove or something. The only indicatives he had of a past life were his scars, and I guess his unusual features. The thing is - whenever he first caught sight of his reflection, he very much liked what he saw looking back. Someone else might have been shocked by their appearance, but what DU drow felt would have been more akin to a kind of relief - I'm strong. I'm big. I'm intimidating. Good. As it should be.

And well... There's not much reason to give it thought past that. His looks feel right, he thinks he looks attractive, even his scars are somewhat comforting. Tadpole and odd company aside, it actually feels nice to be himself right now, so why ruin it with questions and concerns.

[planetpedri]

Can I ask for PABLO GAVI x reader were the reader is jealous thank you💓

Jealousy, jealousy — Pablo Gavi.

Pairing: Pablo Gavi x Fem!Reader

Summary: You didn’t consider yourself a jealous person.. but seeing another girl cozy up to your boyfriend was not making you feel very happy.

Word count: 930+

Disclaimer/s: jealousy , banter , light amount of angst if even that to happy ending.

A/N: i lowk hated this sorry but it’s happier than my last post so..

Your jaw could snap with how hard it was being clenched. It wasn’t unusual for women to show your boyfriend special attention, he was a handsome footballer after all, but you’d never seen such a touchy interaction. You were on a date for God’s sake! Could she not tell?

There was a candle in the middle of the table, he was in a suit, you in a dress, it was quite obvious. The woman, a brunette with the most stunning eyes, had her hand resting on his bicep, giggling as she asked him a question.

If you were in a cartoon, you were sure there would be steam blowing out of your ears. Taking in a long breath, you force a smile before standing up from your seat and walking around the table to where they stood.

“Excuse me?” You butt in politely, though there was a bit of a bite in your words. “Babe, our foods getting cold.” You turn your attention toward your boyfriend, forcing your words out through gritted teeth.

The woman’s face falters, her throat bobbing. “Oh. You’re on a date?” She looks back up at Gavi, disappointment evident in the way her eyebrows furrowed.

“Yeah..” Gavi was watching you curiously, his eyes trailing over your expression. “This is my girlfriend.” His arm wraps around your waist.

A smug smile forms on your lips as you look from Gavi to the brunette. “If you wouldn’t mind, i’d like to steal my boyfriend back?”

“Oh!” Her mouth pursed, “sure.”

Sure? Sure?? Your eye was certainly twitching now. Gavi’s grip on your waist tightened as he let out a nervous laugh.

“Come on..” He urges you, not bothering with a ‘goodbye’ and instead leading you back toward your table.

Once he’d finally gotten you to sit back down, he gives you a questioning look that you don’t even bother to answer. Instead, you pick up your fort and stab into your pasta.

Gavi gulps, “hey..” He sighs, “talk to me, out with it.”

“Why do you let them get so.. touchy?” You nearly snap, “you can say no, you know that, right?” You take a fork full of food into your mouth, chewing aggressively as you stare daggers into the plate.

He knew exactly what you were feeling, he felt it every time a guy got near you. But, fans didn’t exactly respect his wishes no matter how many times he politely told them to give him space. Plus, you knew that. You’d witnessed it first hand on multiple occasions.

“You know they don’t listen.” He frowns, “I told her I was on a date, I did try to escape.”

Your annoyance significantly decreased. You knew very well he was telling the truth, you had no reason to be upset at him.

“Did you hear her say ‘sure’? Like who the fuck—“

A small laugh leaves Gavi’s mouth, amusement twinkling in his eyes. “Yeah, then I saw murderous rage in your eyes and knew it was time to go.”

“Murderous?” You scoff, but your mouth twitches. “Well. Can you blame me?”

Shaking his head, Gavi reaches across the table, sliding his fingers through yours. “No, no I cannot. You just need to remember that I do not want attention from them. You have nothing to be jealous about.”

He kisses your knuckles reassuringly, making a smile push past your once pursed lips. “You’re so cheesy… but I know, and I love you dearly for that. Plus, I was not jealous. Just.. annoyed.”

“Hmm,” Gavi shrugs, “sure. Whatever you say, babe.”

Your eyes dart side to side, landing on him with a scowl. “Uhm, I wasn’t?”

“Yeahhh, you definitely were.”

“Was not.” Taking another bite, you wave him away. “Can you just eat?” You ask after swallowing.

Gavi smirks, leaning back in his seat. “Can you admit you were jealous?” He quirks an eyebrow, head tilting to the side.

You let out a defiant laugh. “Funny. Eat.” You point with your fork to his plate. “I am so, so not having this conversation with you.”

“Don’t you always complain—“ He stops mid sentence when your eyes snap up to his, “I mean.. ask me to do things I definitely should already be doing and educating me..” Nice save. “But! You always talk about communicating, and why perhaps aren’t you doing that?”

“I—“ Your mouth clamps shut. “Okay. Well. Oh.” He kind of got you there.

“Fine! I was jealous that stranger woman was touching all up on my boyfriend.”

A wide smile appears on his lips. “That’s kind of cute.”

Yeah, no.

“Why don’t we play quiet time. You stop speaking, and I enjoy my food, yeah?” You take a sip of water, offering him a tight smile.

Doing as you request, Gavi smiles all throughout the rest of the meal, silently. It only lasts for a few minutes, you caved quickly. “We should skip dessert and go home.”

Gavi’s eyes snap up to you. “Huh? Why.. you love desert?”

“Well, you have practice tomorrow, and I have a direct view of that girl and I cannot handle her staring any longer or I will combust.” You nudge your head in the direction behind him.

One thing about your boyfriend was his absolute inability to not be obvious. His head whips around, making direct eye contact with the her. Her glare falters, a small smile appearing on her face. Gavi deadpans, causing her smile to drop.

He turns back to you. “Yeah, we can go.”

You had to forcefully purse your lips to hide the smirk threatening at your face. “Wonderful!

likes , comments , and reblog’s are all appreciated. lmk if you’d like to be tagged in future gavi related posts.

DTS , @halfwayhearted @ar4ujos @sakashq @joaoflms @hrts4havertz @spidybaby @gadriezmannsgirl @unx100to !

[2amriize]

can u do riize crying because they think you dont like them anymore after you see them with another girl and start to act distant.(like a situationship )

˚⟡˖ ࣪ riize crying when you act distant after seeing them with another girl

ᡣ𐭩 masterlist

genre angst

pairing riize x idol!reader

ᯓ★ SHOTARO

After seeing a girl touch Shotaro’s arm between classes, you couldn’t help but feel that the relationship you had with him wasn’t what you thought. These past few months, both of you had been very affectionate with each other, but you never officially formalized anything. Seeing how close he seemed with this other girl, you decided to distance yourself from him and started avoiding him in class.

One day after class, Shotaro approached you and asked if you could talk, to which you agreed. You both went to the end of one of the hallways, and as soon as you were alone, Shotaro started crying, which surprised you.

“Did I do something wrong, y/n…? I don’t understand why you’re acting like this.”

You explained why you had been behaving that way, and he looked at you, confused, shaking his head.

“She… she’s nobody, y/n. I only like you; I only want to be with you.”

ᯓ★ EUNSEOK

You had been flirting with Eunseok for a few weeks now, but your relationship still wasn’t official. One day, when you were hanging out with some friends, you saw Eunseok at the bus stop. You were immediately happy to see him and approached him to say hello. But as you got closer, you noticed he wasn’t alone—there was a girl beside him, gently stroking his arm. Your smile instantly faded, and you turned around. From that moment on, you didn’t respond to Eunseok’s messages for a few days, or you just gave him very short and curt replies.

You didn’t expect that, a few days later, on a night when it was pouring rain, Eunseok would show up at your door.

“Eunseok, what are you doing…?”

“Why?” Eunseok asked you seriously, before you noticed tears falling down his cheeks.

“What? Eunseok, why are you crying?”

“Because… it makes me angry, y/n, it makes me angry that you’ve found someone else.”

“Me? I haven’t found anyone else; you’re the one who’s with another girl…”

You both looked at each other in confusion. Seeing how he was shivering from the cold, you invited him in and then explained what had happened.

ᯓ★ SUNGCHAN

“I’m sorry, y/n, I don’t know if I did something wrong, but I’m sorry.”

Sungchan was standing in front of you, crying, while you looked at him in surprise. You had been talking to him for a few months. You knew how popular he was among girls, but he had sworn to you that he only had eyes for you. Even though you weren’t officially together yet, you couldn’t help but feel bad when you saw him walking with a girl near the university, so you decided to distance yourself from him little by little.

When Sungchan realized this, he showed up at your door, crying, not knowing why you were acting that way.

“You don’t know if you did something wrong? And what about that girl you were with the other day?” You replied in a cold tone, even though you couldn’t bear to see Sungchan crying so desperately.

“Huh…? I…” Realizing who you were talking about, Sungchan looked at you, shaking his head several times as he continued crying. “She’s the daughter of a friend of my mom’s, but I swear she’s no one, I swear, y/n…” You couldn’t stand seeing Sungchan cry like that, so you approached him to wipe his tears before hugging him tightly.

ᯓ★ WONBIN

You couldn’t believe what you were seeing. As you were walking down the academy’s halls, you saw inside a room Wonbin with another girl, who seemed to be very close to him. Even though you and Wonbin hadn’t confirmed your relationship, you couldn’t help but feel disappointed at seeing that, so you started being colder toward him.

A few days later, while you were practicing alone in a dance room, you heard the door open, and when you looked up, you found Wonbin standing silently at the door, watching you. You stopped the music and looked back at him, waiting for him to say something.

“Have you found someone better than me…?” He finally spoke in a trembling voice, lowering his head.

“What are you talking about, Wonbin?” You walked over to him, noticing that he had started crying, so you put your hands on his face, wiping away his tears. “Why are you saying that?”

“These past few days… you’ve been avoiding me… and I thought you had found another guy…”

You shook your head several times, explaining that you had distanced yourself because you saw him getting close to another girl. He began crying more, saying that she was just a girl who was obsessed with him, but that he only wanted to be with you.

ᯓ★ SEUNGHAN

You were so sure that Seunghan was going to ask you out soon. You were basically already a couple, just waiting for him to officially ask you out since he had told you he wanted to do it in a special way. Your heart basically shattered when you were on the bus passing by his house and saw him walking into his apartment with a girl. You simply couldn’t believe what you were seeing, so you decided to stop answering his messages.

You couldn’t avoid seeing him since you both worked in the same place, but you tried not to work at the same hours or just avoided him altogether until one day, you walked into the staff area and found him sitting on a bench, crying. Even though you were upset about seeing him with another girl, you still had feelings for him, so you didn’t hesitate for a second to approach him and ask what was wrong.

“I don’t know… I don’t know what I did wrong, y/n, I thought things were going well between us…”

“I did too, Seunghan, but… I saw you the other day. And I get that we’re not officially together, but I thought we were exclusive with each other, so…”

“What?” Seunghan interrupted you, looking confused. “What are you talking about?”

“I saw you walk into your house with a girl, Seunghan…” you whispered, looking down as you heard Seunghan sigh.

“y/n, look at me. That girl came to see the house because I’m selling it. I’m moving to an apartment closer to you, but it was supposed to be a surprise…”

ᯓ★ SOHEE

Sohee and you had been part of the same group of friends for many years, but it wasn’t until a few months ago that you both started showing interest in each other, beginning to hang out more alone. You were surprised to see him one day close to another girl at a café. You can’t deny that it hurt you a lot to see him meeting up with another girl alone, but at the same time, you knew that what you had wasn’t anything official yet, so you simply decided to start distancing yourself from him slowly—canceling plans, not being with him when you were with your friends, and not responding to his messages. Little by little, your relationship started becoming more uncomfortable because of this.

One day, when you all had gone to the beach with your friends, Sohee and you were left alone on the towels while everyone else went for a swim. You didn’t talk for minutes until you heard Sohee sobbing, making you look at him, worried.

“Sohee… is something wrong?”

“Did you ever like me?” he whispered in a trembling voice without looking at you.

“Why are you saying that? Of course I did…”

“Then why don’t you act the same way with me anymore?”

You explained that you had seen him with another girl and that even though you still cared about him, you didn’t want to interfere if he wanted to start a relationship with someone else since you weren’t officially together. Sohee, astonished, explained to you that the girl was a relative of his, which made you feel embarrassed for your reaction.

ᯓ★ ANTON

Since you saw how Anton was behaving with a girl from his class, who was very touchy with him, you decided to distance yourself from him. At least as much as you could, since it was difficult with both of you being in the same class. Plus, you were partners on a project that you had to submit at the end of the course, so you had to see him almost every week.

Before, you used to stay at his house after working on your project, watching movies together or just chatting, but after seeing him with the other girl, you decided to leave as soon as you finished the project. At first, you made excuses, like you were tired or had other plans, but Anton was starting to notice that you weren’t acting the same with him anymore.

One day, when you were at his house working on the project, Anton was very quiet, barely speaking. When you got up to leave, you felt Anton grab your wrist, and you turned around to find his tearful eyes looking at you. He couldn’t even speak, unable to find the words to apologize for whatever he thought he had done wrong. Seeing him like that, you couldn’t help but hug him as he buried his face in your chest.

“I don’t want you to stop loving me…” he whispered with a shaky breath.

Once he calmed down, you were able to talk about what had happened and why you had been acting that way, and he told you that you were the only one for him.

ᡣ𐭩 masterlist

taglist: @cherryishxo @gacktsa

[pinkrangermemes]

EPIC: The Musical

lyrics that absolutely fuck me up, feel free to change pronouns and such as needed

"A mission to kill someone's son, a foe who won't run, unlike anyone you have faced before."

"I'd rather bleed for you."

"This is the will of the gods."

"Don't make me do this."

"The blood on your hands is something you won't lose. All you can choose is whose."

"You're as old as he was when I left for war."

"How could I hurt you?"

"I'm just a man who's trying to go home."

"When does a man become a monster?"

"When does the reason become the blame?"

"Forgive me."

"We should try to find a way no one ends up dead."

"You can relax, my friend."

"Think of all that we have been through. We'll survive what we get into."

"This life is amazing when you greet it with open arms."

"I see in your face there is so much guilt inside your heart."

"Have you forgotten to turn off your heart? This is not you."

"Have you forgotten your purpose? Let me remind you."

"Don't forget that you're a warrior of a very special kind."

"Don't disappoint me."

"What gives you the right to deal a pain so deep?"

"Don't you know that pain you sow is pain you reap?"

"Your life now is in my hand."

"A trade, you see. Take from me like you took from me."

"You shall be the final man to die."

"It's just one life to take."

"When we kill him our journey's over."

"Captain?"

"You've hurt me enough."

"When I kill you, my pain is over."

"Mark my words now. This is not the end."

"Remember them."

"Who hurts you?"

"If nobody hurt you, be silent."

"He's still a threat until he's dead."

"Finish it."

"What good would killing do, when mercy is a skill more of this world could learn to use?"

"The blood we shed, it never dries."

"I am your darkest moment."

"I am the infamous _______!"

"This way, you won't disappoint me."

"This way, you won't waste my time."

"Unlike you, every time someone dies, I'm left to deal with the strain."

"I'll remind you, I saw you as a friend, but now we're done."

"This way, you won't plague my life."

"This way, you'll close the door and have your damn goodbye."

"Since you claim you're so much wiser, why's your life spent all alone?"

"You're alone!"

"This day, you sever your own head."

"This day, you lost it all. Consider this as my goodbye."

"Don't forget how dangerous the gods are."

"How much longer 'til your luck runs out?"

"You rely on wit, and people die on it."

"I still believe in goodness."

"Lead from the heart, and see what starts."

"And what will we do when it tears us apart?"

"You're like the brother I could never do without."

"How much longer 'til your strength takes leave?"

"I can't have you planting seeds of doubt."

"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer."

"Sometimes killing is a must."

"Friends turn into foes and rivalries."

"Never really know who you can trust."

"The end always justifies the means."

"So much has changed, but I'm the same."

"I'm left without a choice and without a doubt."

"Ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves."

"You are the worst kind of good 'cause you're not even great."

"You are far too nice."

"Mercy has a price."

"Unlike you, I've got no mercy left to give."

"The line between naivete and hopefulness is almost invisible."

"What have you done?"

"I am your darkest moment, the monster that always draws near."

"Remember me."

"There's only so much left we can endure."

"Think of your past and your mistakes."

"No, I'm not a player. I'm a puppeteer."

"I can hardly sleep now, knowing everything we've done."

"It's a game of wits, but you don't have to play."

"A foe like ____ is not to be messed with."

"You could be hurt or you could beat her."

"I'll help you conquer her."

"Wouldn't you like your outcome preferred?"

"Don't thank me, friend, you very well may die."

"Did you do something to them?"

"I don't know who you are or why you're here, but let me make this one thing clear."

"I've got people to protect, friends I can't neglect, so now there is no turning back."

"Back at home my wife waits for me. She's my everything, my _____."

"Maybe showing one act of kindness leads to kinder souls down the road."

"This land confuses your mind."

"All I hear are screams every time I dare to close my eyes."

"I no longer dream, only nightmares of those who've died."

"Why would you let _____ live when ruthlessness is mercy?"

"I keep thinking of the infant from that night."

"____, when you come home, I'll be waiting."

"Even if you're the last thing I see, I'll be waiting."

"I took too long."

"I'll always love you."

"Your past is always close behind."

"I see a song of past romance."

"I see portrayals of betrayal and a brother's final stand."

"I see a man who gets to make it home alive, but it's no longer you."

"We've suffered and sailed through the toughest of Hells, now you tell us our efforts were nothing?"

"I see a wife with a man who is haunting. A man with a trail of bodies."

"How has everything been turned against us?"

"How did suffering become so endless?"

"Do I need to change?"

"What if I'm the monster?"

"What if I'm the problem that's been hiding all along?"

"If I became the monster, and threw that guilt away, would that make us stronger?"

"So what if I'm the monster lurking deep below?"

"If I gotta drop another infant from a wall in an instant so we all don't die, then I'll become the monster."

"I'll become the monster."

[nyx-is-missing]

Graceland too

Clarisse la rue x fem!reader (Athena's kid)

Sumarry: When a certain daughter of Athena felt unappreciated her whole life, someone was there to see her.

Warnings: Sad girl hours, shitty parenthood, hurt/comfort because im no monster and probably other things wich i forgot.

a/n: look who is back!

Demigod.

Half blood.

Half a goddess.

Half a human (?).

And yet, fully a disappointment.

When Athena sent me to my Dad's house, in a golden crib, dressed in pure white dress, glowing, how the myths would expect a demigod to be, then, and only right then i was a gift.

A piece o divine love, something to prove to him, till the end of his life, that at some point, he was good enough for a Goddess.

But days after, immediately, i was just a crying baby, hungry, with a busy father, without a mother, and that only made him remember that, that was it.

He wasnt good enough for her, she wasnt staying, she never even actually even considered, he would never have that kind of honour, only a crying baby he never expected.

I wasnt a gift anymore, it actually felt like i was a insult, everything about me started to enrage him.

And oh, how did he reminded me of that every single day of my existence.

When i got diagnosed with dyslexia all i've heard whas that Athena gave me up to him because i was defective, when i couldnt sit still during classes, and exploded with all the repression i suffered everyday, suddently i was a clock bomb, when my grades where great, i was never rewarded, it was "the least i could do, to make up for the shame that i was".

I was never loved, never wanted, never encouraged, at least not by him.

The very little love i've known in my life, i own to the people who felt pitty of me.

The teachers, the neighbours who have heard the insults, the stray animals who could sense sadness, the very old grandparents who never actually saw me more than twice a year, and the people who worked at a nerby library, who let me stay past closing time, leaving only with the cleaners.

I was 12 when he had enough and sent me to camp, literally the very day school was over.

I came home to my clothes packed and him waiting by the car keys.

Being in camp for the first time, was also the very first time in my life i have ever felt....normal.

Not good, not bad, not great, not terrible, i was one, and that was enough.

I spend that summer being quiet, i sat in the corner, i didnt spoke, i didnt interrupted, i didnt had any ideas, i wasnt good enough to do that, thats what i've been told my whole life, thats my true.

It took a whole new summer for Athena to claim me.

I have always wondered if she was fighting with herself, if she had any problems having to admit that she made a mistake, with me, or with him.

It didn't matter, for the first time i had brothers and sisters, who wanted me, who understood when i wasnt the best, who asked for my graded tests, to put up in the wall.

They understood when i was hard to crack, when i insisted in being quiet, when i wouldnt share my ideas, they understood it all.

I didn't.

Each and every new summer i spent there, all i could ask myself was:

Why could i not be great like all of them?

Why im still afraid?

Why i was still useless?

Im now sixteen and the same questions still were unanswered.

And today i felt worse than ever.

It was my birthday, and i havent got a single letter from him, nothing, nothing.

It felt like he was saying i wasnt worth anything again.

Earlier, i tried to pretend nothing was happening, smiling with my siblings, finally making plans for capture the flag, finally belonging like i promissed i would try to do that year.

My plan was used, it wasnt perfect, but it was used, and surprising myself and the other team, we won.

I could see the other team confused, and Clarisse cussing us to death.

Still i was so happy, for the first time in my life i showed myself, and i worked....partially.

The happiness of victory didnt last much in me, because i saw a new brother of mine almost bursting to tears, he was young and just got claimed a few days ago, he wasnt used to that, and he wasnt supose to get hurt, but the red that painted his arms said otherwise.

I couldnt stare at him without feeling like i failed again.

Why couldnt i be perfect for once?

I took him to infirmary and held his hand while he was getting his stiches, saying sorry all the time.

I tried thinking it was okay, people get hurt, move on.

I had diner, i took a bath, i tried to sleep, i couldnt.

The tears were falling down and i knew i wouldn't be quiet.

So i got up and walked to the cabin's porch, sitting on the last step and letting my head fall to my knees.

Why couldnt i be great?

Why couldnt i be in peace with myself?

Why couldnt my mom bless me?

Why couldnt my dad love me?

Why did he had to be so mean?

I was a kid for fucks sake.

"Are you okay?" I heard someone saying, that made me freeze, that voice was not from any of my sisters, was i crying so hard i woke up someone from other cabin?

"I- yes, sorry i didn't knew i was crying so hard to wake people from other cabins, im sorry"

"You didn't, i was sneaking out to train some more, and saw you, our cabins face each other"

That was...Clarisse?

I wiped my tears and look up, she was staring at me with a almost worried look

"Clarisse?"

"Yes, why are you crying?"

She sat down by my side, dropping a sword in the grass.

"Its nothing really, im fine, you dont need to bothe-"

"No, cut the crap" she stopped me mid sentence "no one ever weeps in the middle of the night out of happiness, you are not fine and im not letting you lie OR leave until you tell me what it is"

We stare at each other, and ill need to thank the night light being bad because i probably look like crap right now, im sure my eyes are red, my nose too, im probably with a very swollen face and id bet all the dracmas i own that my hair its no better than a nest of birds.

"Go on...tell me"

I layed myself in the stairs, looking at the sky, trying to think of a way to tell everything, without sounding crazy

"I dont deserve to be here, Clarisse."

"Here..where?"

"This cabin, i dont deserve to be called daughter of the goddess of wisdom, i dont deserve being here with them, my siblings they are great, more than good, great, they will do great things with themselfs, amazing writers, architects, brilliant musicians, historians, why am i here? Im not even good, why im with the great?"

"Wait wait wait" she made me sit down again and look at her "not even good? What are you talking about? Wasnt the strategy in the last capture the flag yours? Yall won, and if somebody asks me later i've never said this but that was good, some really good strategy, i was almost thinking of asking chiron to switch you teams, you were great, more than that, and now you're here telling me you are not egen good? Are you on drugs?"

"Clarisse you dont need to pretend you care that much, and my plan wasnt all that, my brother got hurt, that wasnt supose to happen, i failed him, if i was good enough he wouldnt even be there"

She had a very confused look on her face, like she really did not knew what i was talking about.

"You're not talking about the little boy you took to the infirmary and that small cut in his forearm are you? Cause that boy was far from almost dying like you are making it sound like-" she looked at my eyes, i didnt needed a mirror to have sure how i was, i've seen myself like that too much to count, everytime my dad said i wasnt good enough, sad, lifeless.

"I failed again Clarisse, im not good enough to be here, im useless, worthless"

She looked at me and did the last thing i tought she would, Clarisse hugged me.

"Dont say that, c'mon, worthless? I've seen you fight, i've seen your plans, you dont talk much but i've heard your ideas, you are far from being useless or worthless, who the fuck told you that?"

"My f- you heard me?" I looked at her, only to see a look i couldnt distinguish "what do you mean?"

She looked at her own feet, then at her sword, reflecting the moonlight.

"You really dont know?" She looks at me "i- well, i've heard you, the same way i see you everyday, thats how i know you like morning walks, sweet green grapes, baked goods...how i know you are probably the only child of Athena who has never read "the art of war", that you walk without looking at peoples faces....its weird, i've seen you so much throughout this years and it feels like this is the first time you are actually seeing me"

"But i've saw you before-"

"Thats not what i was saying, you looked at me many times, but did you ever saw me until today?"

I looked at her blinking, and after a moment of silent i said "you like dark chocolate, and lemon flavoured soda, and sneaking out to train when the harpies take their breaks, by the way you missed that, and you always ask for double the quantity of food you eat, so when you burn it you still can eat enough, by the way i stole that idea-"

She is smilling, big, really big, i think i am too.

Of course i saw Clarisse, who wouldnt, she was strong, brave, beautiful, to me was a wonder she didnt had people running to get her attention.

She got closer to me "does that mean i can-" i stopped her mid sentence again

"Maybe..."

"Im going to make you forget that "im not good enough" nonsense, belive me"

She is smilling while kissing me, and i am too.