#if past me saw now me she would be very disappointed

[anonymousewrites]

Pearl of the Sea Chapter Twenty

Found Family! PoTC Cast x Teen! Reader

Platonic! Will Turner, Elizabeth Swann, Jack Sparrow, Tia Dalma x Reader

Chapter Twenty: Seeing the Dead

Summary: Truths and conflicts emerge as they make their way out of the Locker.

            “Trim that sail! Slack windward brace and sheet!” ordered Barbossa as the Black Pearl prepared to sail (where, they weren’t sure).

            “Haul the pennant line,” said Barbossa and Jack at the same time.

            “What are you doing?” demanded Barbossa.

            “What are you doing?” retorted Jack.

            “No, what are you doing?” Barbossa threw it back at him.

            “What are you? Captain gives orders on this ship,” said Jack.

            “The captain of this ship is giving the orders,” said Barbossa.

            “My ship, makes me captain,” argued Jack.

            “They be my charts,” replied Barbossa.

            “That makes you ‘chartman,’ ” said Jack.

            (Y/N) groaned as they argued and turned to face the sea.

            “(Y/N).”

            They stiffened. “Elizabeth.”

            She swallowed. Not Lizzie. Elizabeth. “(Y/N), you have to know that I did it for—”

            “I don’t care who you did it for,” snapped (Y/N). They whirled on her. “You left Jack to the kraken. You left him to die.”

            “We wouldn’t have survived with Jack. Will—you—wouldn’t have made it. And he’s here now. We’ve rescued him,” said Elizabeth, trying to justify herself and stop (Y/N)’s gaze from being one of such disappointment.

            “You still did it,” said (Y/N). Their hands were balled in fists, and the waves rose and fell with their breaths. “He came back for us to the right thing, and you repaid him with death.”

            They brushed past Elizabeth, unwilling to speak any longer. Elizabeth was left standing on her own.

            She had broken a part of her bond with (Y/N). It would take more than a discussion to fix it.

l

            (Y/N) didn’t leave the side of the ship for the rest of the day. While the sun lowered in the sky and the clouds darkened, (Y/N) just stared at the murky grey waters below them.

            Appropriate, thought (Y/N). That’s how I feel.

            They were startled once they saw bodies in white floating by beneath in the waves. Souls, whispered the sea air, and (Y/N) believed their instinct. They leaned out over the bodies, and their brow creased. They seemed lost, the poor spirits, no afterlife to wash up on.

            “They should be in the care of Davy Jones.” Tia Dalma drifted up next to (Y/N). They barely glanced at her, used to the way she moved like water, light and graceful.

            “I thought he ruled the Locker,” said (Y/N).

            “He does,” said Tia Dalma. “But this is the true duty he was charged with by the goddess, Calypso.”

            Calypso. The very name held power, and (Y/N) could have sworn the waters rushed around the Pearl faster in response.

            “To ferry those who die at sea to the other side,” continue Tia Dalma. “And every ten years him could come ashore to be with her who love him truly.” The history in her words spoke volumes, but (Y/N) felt the heaviness and knew not to ask for more than what she gave. “But the man has become a monster.”

            “So he didn’t fulfill his duty, and the cost was his humanity,” said (Y/N).

            Tia Dalma smiled slightly. “You understand magic well.”

            (Y/N) lowered their gaze to the souls drifting by. “It just made sense.”

            “Perhaps.” Tia Dalma looked at them, and (Y/N) could feel her gaze burning into them. “But you have a talent for magic.”

            (Y/N) felt an itch beneath their skin and ran their hand over their arm to sooth it. “I don’t know what that means.”

            “It means tis in your blood,” said Tia Dalma. “I ‘ave heard from William Turner and Elizabeth Swann that you mights have summon’d a wave against the kraken.”

            “I—I don’t know what that was,” admitted (Y/N). “I just felt a lot, and then the sea was there. It was just…strange.”

            Tia Dalma hummed. “Give me your hand.” She extended her palm, and (Y/N) stared at her. “Go on. I mean no harm to you, child.”

            (Y/N) nodded shortly and put their hand in hers. Tia Dalma turned over their hand and ran a finger down their vein. (Y/N) stared as a slight pearlescent shine followed her finger, disappearing in the darkness.

            Tia Dalma hummed. “As I thought. Magic is in these veins—magic of the sea.”

            (Y/N) pulled their hand away and stared at it. “What does that mean?”

            “It means you’re a Child of the Sea.” Tia Dalma looked at them with that all-knowing glint in her eyes once more. “You escape to the sea. You yearn for it. It is freedom, life. Your heart.”

            “How do you know that?” whispered (Y/N).

            “The sea is my heart. In a different way, but my heart, too,” said Tia Dalma, gazing out at the sea mysteriously.

            (Y/N) frowned. “What does that me—”

            “Boats!” cried Ragetti, clutching onto Pintel.

            The shout broke all focus on tasks. (Y/N) and Tia Dalma turned to see what the others on deck were looking at. In the distance, hundreds of tiny rowboats floated towards them. They bobbed over the spirits suspended beneath the surface of the water. Lanterns sat at the head of each boat and lit their way.

            Gibbs grabbed a rifle, and Tia Dalma stormed towards him. Will lowered its muzzle and shook his head.

            “They’re not a threat to us.” He looked at Tia Dalma. “Am I right?”

            “We’re nothing but ghosts to them,” said Tia Dalma.

            “It’s best just let them be,” said Barbossa.

            (Y/N) gazed sorrowfully at the dead who had no guide to a proper resting place. Children, elderly, men, women—none reacted as they drifted by.

            “It’s my father!”

            Everyone followed Elizabeth’s gaze to a man sitting in one longboat. (Y/N)’s heart broke. Swann was dead. He would never be with them again once they returned to the land of the living.

            “We’ve made it back,” said Elizabeth in relief. “Father, Father, here! Look here!”

            “Elizabeth.” Jack shook his head. “We’re not back.”

            Terrible realization dawned, and she faced him again. “Father!”

            Swann turned his head dreamily. “Elizabeth. Are you dead?”

            Elizabeth shook her head in panic. “No. No.”

            “I think I am,” said Swann hesitantly.

            “No, you can’t be!” cried Elizabeth.

            (Y/N) covered their mouth as the man who helped raise them drifted by towards the Land of the Dead—but he would never find it. Jack steadied them by the shoulders as they watched with horror.

            “There was this chest, you see,” said Swann. “It’s odd. At the time it seemed so important.”

            “Come board!” shouted Elizabeth.

            “And a heart,” continued Swann. “I learned that if you stab the heart, yours must take its place. And you will sail the seas for eternity. The Dutchman must have a captain.”

            If someone killed the heart and Jones, they would take his role. The realization washed over the crew and each person who had considered doing just that.

            “Silly thing to die for,” said Swann.

            “Someone, cast a line!” said Elizabeth desperately. “Come back with us!” She grabbed a rope herself and threw it out. “Take the line!”

            Swann looked up at Elizabeth and smiled. “I’m so proud of you and (Y/N), Elizabeth.”

            “Father, take the line! Take the line!” begged Elizabeth.

            But Swann just smiled as he floated away.

            “Father!”

            (Y/N) ran and hugged their sister tightly as she cried out for Swann.

            “I’ll give love to your mother,” said Swann as he disappeared into the darkness.

            “Please!” cried Elizabeth.

            (Y/N) just held her tighter as Elizabeth broke down and hugged them back. “I’m sorry,” they whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

            Elizabeth just sobbed harder and held (Y/N) tighter. Her last bit of family was in her arms.

l

            Everyone was silent as Elizabeth returned to the deck after (Y/N) had brought her down to rest after seeing her father pass into the afterlife.

            “How are you?” said Will softly.

            She gazed at him with red eyes, evidence of how much she cried for Swann. Will’s eyes softened, and he hugged her.

            “How is (Y/N)?” said Jack. Swann had taken them in as a ward, so although they were not father and child, it was clear he also meant quite a bit to them.

            “We both took a rest,” said Elizabeth. “They’re still sleeping, so I left them as they were.”

            Will nodded. “They deserve it. You do, too.”

            “I want to make sure we can get back to defeat Beckett,” said Elizabeth, narrowing her eyes. She would channel her grief into determination. Beckett would pay for what he’d done.

            “Good,” said Tia Dalma. “He has the power of the seas. We must fight with all we have.” Her gaze darkened. “And we have something that may help.”

            All eyes went to her.

            “What do you mean?” said Will. “If we have a way to fight him, why have you been holding it back?”

            “Because Beckett will want to use it to his advantage,” said Tia Dalma.

            “We’ll make sure that won’t happen.” Barbossa patted his sword handle. “Beckett isn’t getting any more power now that a proper pirate is on the seas.” Jack rolled his eyes.

            “Good. They will need support,” said Tia Dalma.

            “They?” said Elizabeth.

            “(Y/N).”

            Silence.

            “What?” said Will.

            “(Y/N) isn’t a weapon!” said Elizabeth.

            “The lad is a good pirate, but Beckett is formidable,” said Barbossa.

            “This is about what you warned me of, aye?” said Jack.

            Tia Dalma smirked and nodded. “You noticed it?”

            Jack nodded.

            “What is she talking about?” said Will.

            “I told him (Y/N) is a Child of the Sea,” said Tia Dalma. “They have something wild within them. And now it’s free.” She looked at each adult—Will, Elizabeth, Barbossa, and Jack—in turn. “The magic of the sea is theirs.”

            “The wave and the kraken…that was them?” said Elizabeth. She had seen it and thought it significant, but all that had occurred overshadowed the moment.

            Tia Dalma nodded. “They can control the waters.”

            “I thought Jones did,” said Will.

            “He does,” said Tia Dalma. “But so does (Y/N). They are both parts of the ocean.”

            “How? What is a child of the sea? What type of magic can (Y/N) have? They’re just a child,” said Elizabeth.

            “You found them in the sea,” said Tia Dalma.

            “Yes,” said Elizabeth.

            “They were alive, yet they had nothing to keep the above water,” said Tia Dalma.

            “How do you—”

            “I know the sea,” said Tia Dalma, and Barbossa narrowed his eyes. She looked at the adults—(Y/N)’s family. “And I know what (Y/N) is.”

            “A child of the sea, you’ve said it a million times now,” said Jack, waving a hand.

            “They are a nereid,” said Tia Dalma.

            “That sounds Greek,” said Elizabeth, remembering her mythology.

            “All myths are based in truth,” said Tia Dalma. “Nereids are sea spirits, incarnations of the sea. (Y/N) is made of the sea and its magic.”

            “So their magic could help against Jones’s,” said Will.

            “If they can use it, yes,” said Tia Dalma.

            “What if they can’t control it?” said Elizabeth.

            “The sea isn’t about control,” said Tia Dalma, raising her chin. “It is about freedom.”

            “But will the magic hurt them?” said Elizabeth. She wouldn’t let (Y/N) be hurt.

            “No. It wants to be free,” said Tia Dalma. “They will be themself once they let it go.”

            “But you’re worried about them because of Beckett,” said Jack, narrowing his eyes. He wouldn’t let that Lord hurt (Y/N), not after all that he had already done, not to his kid.

            “He wishes to tame the seas. If he knows of what they are, he will see them as a threat,” said Tia Dalma. “He cannot stand what he cannot control, so he will seek to tame them or destroy them.” She smirked. “And (Y/N) is as untamable as the sea.”

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[yeollie-plz]

Fill

Miguel O’Hara x F! Reader

Synopsis: You babysit Mayday, it puts thoughts into Miguel’s head.

Genre: smut!

Warnings: smut, 18+, breeding kink, unprotected sex, pregnancy kink, p in v sex, kissing, biting, fingering, choking, spanking, daddy kink slipped in there at the end

Gif credits to owners!

Miguel was expecting to come home to his beautiful wife, eat some food, maybe make love to her, and bask in each other’s warmth until they fell asleep. What he sure didn’t expect was to come home to said wife babysitting Mayday for Peter. You might have forgotten to mention to Miguel that you were babysitting tonight.

Honestly, you didn’t mention it because you didn’t want him to say no and Peter and MJ really needed the night out. No baby. So now you and your husband were going to have a night in. With a baby.

To say Miguel wasn’t thrilled would be an understatement. He was borderline angry with you at the “slip” of your mind. It’s not like Miguel hated Mayday in any aspect but the thought of you holding a baby brought up strange feelings inside of him.

He had tried for the year that Mayday has been around to try and push those feelings down. But every time he saw you even glance at the baby had him all in a fit. Miguel didn’t think he’d ever be ready for a child again, but seeing you so motherly was changing his mind.

I mean, he didn’t think he’d ever want to get married again and there you were changing his plans.

You two have had the baby talk before, as well. You were always so understanding of his past and never pushed him too far. But he did notice the disappointment on your face when he had said he never wanted kids.

Never? Why had he said never? It was such a harsh conclusion and in recent months, it was one he was regretting making.

He could imagine you now, belly full of his seed, a prominent bump showing what the two of you had made.

Shit. He needed to get those images out of his or he wouldn’t be able to hold back.

Shaking his head Miguel retreated to the kitchen, leaving you to continue to play with the baby uninterrupted. Busying himself with looking through the cabinets, like he wanted to cook something.

“Miggy?” You questioned as you entered the kitchen, Mayday perched on your hip. He turned and took in the sight, imagining what a mini you would look like. He sighed.

“Did you want me to make you something to eat?” You were trying to read the look on his face.

“No.” He grumbled and pushed pass you and into the living room.

“Miguel, I know you’re mad that I didn’t tell you. But it was an honest mistake. Plus, you know I love Mayday and since we-“

“Don’t.” He cut you off. Your mouth snapped closed at what you were about to say. Before you could apologize Miguel made his way to the bedroom, slamming the door closed behind him. You blinked in shock, you didn’t want to start a fight in front of poor little Mayday. This would have to be brought up later.

It was nearing the time that Peter was supposed to arrive to pickup Mayday. You were a bit sad to say goodbye to her but you were also exhausted. Suddenly, you understood why Peter didn’t even change out of his pajamas most days. Especially with a spider baby!

She stuck to everything! And being someone without powers, your knowledge on the matter wasn’t very strong. Sure, you knew a lot about Miguel’s powers but he was what…Spider-Man number 30 out of 1 million? You wished you could ask Miguel for some help.

Eventually you figured out the best way to unstick Mayday was to distract her. Show her a toy, play peekaboo, maybe give her snack. Anything to keep her hands busy and off your ceiling. You hadn’t heard Miguel much through the night. You figured he had gone to sleep or was silently doing some work.

When you agreed to watch Mayday, you hoped the two of you would be able to do this as a team. But obviously, that thought was all wrong.

Peter came about 30 minutes later, knocking on your door. Miguel heard the door open, a few words being exchanged, and a rush of thank yous as the door shut once again. In a few quick steps you were moving across the house and throwing open the bedroom door. Miguel’s wife was not happy.

“Really Miggy? Slamming my doors now?” Usually the tone of her voice would make Miguel instantly apologize but he was too wound up to care.

“Yes I’m slamming our doors!” His voice was slightly raised as he gave a lackluster response, cringing at himself.

“All this and because I decided to help Peter out! You know they never get to go out. We are their friends Miguel, we should be helping them out!”

“I don’t mind helping out our friends, but this favor…I just.” He groans, running his face across his face and through his hair. His usually tight posture, slumping in exasperation.

“What Miggy? What is so aggravating about that little baby?” Your hands were on your hips, face turning red with your increasing anger. He was not going to get away with throwing this tantrum.

“It’s not the baby that is aggravating! It’s me seeing you with the baby!” His eyes soften as he admits the truth.

You were shocked, not understanding the meaning behind his words, “I’m the aggravating one?”

“No! Mi amor, it’s how I can’t get the thought of you round and pregnant out of my mind. The image of you running around chasing a child that we created. I thought after everything that I would never want that again but…”

It finally clicks, “You’re mad we don’t have a baby!”

“I’m mad I’m not inside you right now putting a baby in you” His eyes darken and rake across your form.

He crosses the room in three long strides, wrapping his arm around your waist pulling your body into his. His lips ghost along your neck, his hot breath creating goosebumps on your skin.

His mouth reaching your ear, whispering, “Do you want that? Want me to get you pregnant, baby?”

You can only whimper in response, which eggs Miguel on further, finally connecting his lips to yours. Desperation coats the kiss as he basically devours you.

He nips at your lower lip, pulling away. Looking down at you he takes a step back, your body reacts instinctively and tries to close the distance again. He stops you by cupping your clothed core. A strangled noise passes your lips as he uses his other hand to pull your dress over your head.

“Mmm, wore this like you knew I’d want easy access. Always so eager for this cock, hm?” His deep voice and words cause you to get even wetter.

The hand on your core moves a bit to tease you. He feels your wetness, moaning in satisfaction.

“I might not even need to prep you, baby. Wanna breed you like you weren’t meant to be bred.”

His hand grips your neck leading you towards the bed. The hand now makes it way behind your neck and brings your lips to his once again. The force causes you to moan.

“Why don’t you get on all fours for me?” He says it like a question, but you know it’s a command.

You do as you were told and get onto the bed on your hands and knees. You let your knees naturally rest a bit apart, knowing that he will just adjust you if he needs it. A hand runs down your spine, sending a shiver down with it. It reaches your ass and gives a squeeze before landing a firm smack there. Suddenly you hear a rip and feel your wet core exposed to the cool air. You glance down realizing that he had torn off your underwear.

You gasp, “Miggy!” Usually you would’ve found this extremely hot, if those weren’t your favorite panties!

“I’ll buy you new ones. Besides until you’re pregnant you’re not leaving this bed. You won’t be needing panties for a while.” Okay, now it’s hot again.

He doesn’t wait for you to respond and inserts a finger inside of you. He pumps the finger in and out quickly, testing how wet you are.

“Already all wet and ready for me. Just how I like you.”

Quickly, he pulls the finger out and before you can even protest at the loss he pushes his dick fully inside of you to the hilt. Another gasp passes your lips at the intrusion. He gives you no time to adjust before setting a pace, ravaging your body with his thick cock.

He continues his assault, pushing deep inside of you before pulling out almost completely and repeating the action. The force of his thrusts are making it hard for you to think, let alone hold yourself up. But when you start to fall to your elbows, his hand is quickly wrapped around your throat holding you up.

“Have you at the perfect angle, can feel all of you.” Is all he says as his fingers tighten on your throat. Your vision goes black from the intense pleasure.

He fucks into you harder as the pressure of his fingers releases slowly, letting some air back into your lungs. When you have enough air, you are moaning out as a particular thrust hits the perfect spot.

“Miggy please, need you to make me cum. Need your cum in me.”

His large body incapsulates yours at your confession. The hand that was on your throat makes it way down to your clit, rubbing circles into it. His teeth bite down into your shoulder, sending a shock of pleasure through you as you cum hard onto his cock.

The clenching of your orgasm causes him to groan and falter a bit, before he regains his head and pace.

“Mmm, gonna cum in you baby. Gonna make you a mommy.” He says as he shoots his seed into your awaiting womb. His orgasm seems longer and stronger than usual as he bites your shoulder once again.

After he recovers, he releases your throat, letting you fall into the plush sheets. Miguel slides out of you and pulls your body into his. He rubs your back in slow circles, calming you both down.

Eventually you speak up, “So what do you think? Think it worked, daddy?” Lust drips from your voice at the name.

“Fuck, maybe, and even if it didn’t I’m ready to go again. Just want you so full of my cum that you can feel it with every breath.”

And fill you he did.

[rafesaddiction]

It's still not cheating when he's your best friend – Rafe Cameron x Reader (Part 2)

See here for part 1

Summary: You're excited to see your favorite band live. But a fight with your boyfriend threatens to cancel the trip, until someone you don’t expect to see, saves the day: your best friend Rafe Cameron.

Concept: best friend, only nice to her

Warnings: mdni! – smut, fingering, public, (kinda) dubcon, cheating (reader cheats on boyfriend), hints at a toxic relationship, name calling (reader is called slut), protective!rafe

Word count: 3.1k

a/n The past weeks have been really hard for me due to health issues. But I've finally been able to write again. I had fun writing this and I hope you won’t be disappointed reading it. Please let me know your thoughts.

Taglist @dream-pink @dope-trope-105 @rafeinterlude @baby19sthings @yootvi @aaronhotchswife @lilo7sworld

He almost ruined it. For months, you had been looking forward to seeing one of your favorite bands at the beach festival. The day before the concert, your boyfriend told you he didn't want to go and he didn't want you to go either. You had a fight that started over something stupid and ended with him accusing you that you just wanted to go to the festival so you could run around naked and fool around with guys, like the slut you were. You cried when he stormed out and shut your dorm room’s door with a bang. You cried all night.

Your boyfriend was supposed to be the driver. And now on top of all the personal pain you were feeling, you had to explain to your friends that you no longer had a ride to the festival. Neither you nor one of your friends owned a car. You tried to get your parents' car, but they needed it themselves. In the group chat you discussed all kinds of possibilities, until one of your friends wrote that he had organized a car. Everyone cheered at that, and even you, despite of all those tears that kept running down your face, were relieved that you and your friends could make the trip. You not only wanted to see the band play, more important to you was to get out with your friend and forget about the argument you and your boyfriend had.

Your friend also mentioned that the car's owner would join us to the festival, to which everyone naturally agreed and was excited. You even promised to bake cookies for the mysterious hero.

But you didn’t expect it to be him. You could have guessed because that friend also went to high school with you and they had been friends then. Still, it was kind of a shock and you froze when you saw a familiar car on the parking lot next to the dorms. The Cameron family SUV.

You hadn't talked to him since that one night. That one night that should have never happened. That one night that had been the best night of your life. That one night when you had had the best sex of your life with your best friend, Rafe Cameron.

Rafe wasn't much of a texter, but he had texted you. You had written six different replies and never sent one. You had wanted to write him or call him several times. Like last night when your boyfriend had made you cry again. Suddenly you were very aware of how you must look. Your eyes all puffy from the crying.

Rafe was at the back of the car, loading bags into the trunk with the friend who had invited him to this trip.

He hadn't seen you yet, his back was turned towards you, and you were glad about it, because you didn't know what to say, didn't know how to feel. So you were more than relieved when one of your friends arrived shortly after you, pulled you in a hug and decided that you two could already get into the car which was much cooler than standing around in the burning sun, while you could leave it to the guys to load your stuff into the car.

You sat in the middle of the backseat, your friend to your right. She started chatting right away and you felt somewhat relieved that she didn't comment on your boyfriend's absence nor your puffy eyes. Shortly after, the rest of your group arrived, you were six altogether, and luckily the SUV was really comfortable – more comfortable than your boyfriend's old minivan.

Rafe got into the driver's seat, and for a moment, he looked at you through the rearview mirror, before you turned your attention to your friend, as you felt your heart skipping a beat at that moment. You were unsure whether you saw a smile flash over his face, and you didn't dare to look again to check, afraid your face might reveal too much of your inner turmoil.

Though the drive took several hours, time flew by quickly. You had been right. It was good being with your friends and having fun. Everyone was in a good mood, the music was good, there was lively chatting and laughter, there was drinking and snacking, and even stupid car games were played. You might have been a little quieter than usual, but no one seemed to notice – no one except Rafe, who again and again looked at you through the mirror, but never directly spoke to you.

The parking lot of the festival site was already quite full, but Rafe managed to find a good spot for the car. When you got out of the car, you stretched your arms and felt the sun on your skin. It was a very hot day and the car had been nicely air-conditioned. Since it was so hot and the festival was on the beach anyway, your friends and you decided to just wear your bathing suits. You got out of your jeans shorts and shirt, as you were wearing your bikini underneath. You saw Rafe take off his shirt, and one of your guy friends commented that he should put it back on as it would make them all look like total wimps compared to him. There was laughter and Rafe smirked as he casually flexed his chest muscles. It was true. Rafe did look fitter than most guys. It wasn't too much muscles, but he was big and looked strong. Sometimes you thought he looked too good to be real, like a statue of some Greek god… Rafe had caught you staring at him and you quickly averted your gaze, feeling heat crawling to your face.

Since everyone was hungry, your friends and you decided to get some pizza and drinks, and after that more drinks. Everyone was relaxed and had a good time. You smiled a lot – except when you looked at your phone and saw the notifications. Your boyfriend had sent you several texts and voice mails. You didn't open them, you had already seen in the preview window what those texts were about. Obviously he hadn't calmed down. If anything he was even more angry, even more hurtful in his messages.

When looking at the phone, you also saw the time. The band you wanted to see was about to play soon. You asked your friends to go with you closer to the stage, but no one really wanted to move. They said you could hear the music perfectly well from their current spot, besides the booze was here. To that everyone cheered and raised their cups. Everyone but Rafe.

“I’ll go with you.”

“You don't have to. You can stay here, enjoy yourself. I'll just go on my own.”

“Quit that bullshit,” he said and came closer, he had put his cup away. “I'm going with you. So you won't get lost in the crowd. Besides, I know how much you want to see your third favorite band live.”

“You remember,” you gazed up at him, who stood now directly in front of you. You had to shield your eyes since the sun was shining so brightly, but you could definitely see a smile on his lips.

“Of course, I remember,” he said in a low voice, almost whispering and you couldn't help it, you gasped for air.

The smile on his lips turned into a smirk as he continued, “How could I ever forget you dancing to that one song for like all of junior year, hm? You're gonna do that dance again? Wouldn't wanna miss that.”

And he started moving his hips and his arms in a weird clumsy rhythm, imitating what was supposed to be you dancing. It looked ridiculous and you had to laugh.

You punched his shoulder. “Stop that. That's not how I dance.”

He kept on moving in that awkward way and you tried hard to stop laughing – suddenly feeling lighter and more relaxed than you had in weeks – since that night.

You crossed your arms in front of your chest and pushed out your lips, pouting, but couldn't fight the giggles, as Rafe tried some elaborate pirouette which caused him to stumble, but he stopped, directly in front of you. All of a sudden he was calm and there was something so soft in his features which you knew he rarely ever showed anyone.

“Let's go,” it was almost a whisper, then he added in a louder voice. “We don't want to miss that song and that dance.”

You punched his chest, your hand almost hurting as it hit the hard muscle – and felt his hot skin. But you let him take your hand and lead you from the group of your friends who were engrossed in some conversation of their own. His strong hand holding yours felt good, it felt right. Rafe was your best friend. He was the one you trusted most, he was the one who made you laugh, no matter what.

Rafe walked towards the stage and tugged you along with him. When there were more and more people around, he pulled you close to his body. Still holding one of your hands, his palm touched your back as he walked behind you, keeping you very close. He made sure you didn't get lost in the crowd. His body shielded you from anyone bumping into you or spilling their drinks on you.

The place got more and more crowded and he had to slow down. You turned your head to look at him.

“This is okay,” you said.

Rafe frowned as he looked at you. “No, it's not. We're going to the front row.”

“No, Rafe, this is totally okay. I can see enough from here.”

His frown deepened. “No, you can't. You're too tiny.”

At that comment you frowned. “I’m not tiny. You're just a giant,” you said and wanted to punch him with your free hand, but you didn't have enough space to move your arm, so you just ended up placing your palm on his chest. Feeling his hard muscle, feeling his hot skin, and his heart beating. He placed his hand on yours and your breathing hitched.

Rafe held you even tighter to his body as he proceeded to walk to the stage. His strong arms held you, protected you. And despite all these people around you, you only felt him, his presence, his closeness, all around you. Your skin tingled where it touched his, and that tingling grew stronger and became something else. Something that went so much deeper. And you felt a too familiar pulsing in your core.

Some people complained and pushed and shoved, but one look at Rafe’s face and stature and they made room for you and him. He really managed to secure a spot in the front row for you, right in the middle and you got the perfect view of the stage, standing directly behind the first barrier. Only a few feet of empty space separated you from the stage. Rafe was standing directly behind you, his hands to both sides of you, resting on the rail, his arms caging you in – shielding you.

You wanted to turn and thank him, but in that moment the band entered the stage and started playing their first song. You were captivated by their performance and the great atmosphere their music created. There was cheering, singing, dancing all around you. People were pushing and shoving, but you only felt a fraction of that as Rafe's body pressed closer to yours. He was shielding you from all the crowd's wilder movements, while you could enjoy being part of this experience safely.

You even danced a bit, your back rubbing against Rafe's front. When you craned your neck to look back at him, you saw him grin. And you felt a grin on your own face.

The set list was great too. They played all your favorite songs and the lead singer managed to put some kind of spell on the audience when they played a couple of slower songs. Or that spell was just on you, and not caused by the singer, but by something or someone else.

You leaned back a little, your head resting against Rafe's broad chest, feeling his heart beat. You closed your eyes and your hips swayed to the slow rhythm of the song. Your skin touched his skin. And you didn't mind the thin film of sweat covering his body from the heat of the bright sun and the crowded place. You smelled his scent so intensely, it made you almost forget where you were. It just made you feel.

Your eyes opened, your upper body leaned forward, resting your arms on the barrier. You watched the singer putting all his emotions into each and every note. Goosebumps crawled over your skin. But it wasn't from the singer's raspy voice. Rafe's hand touched your hip. Your back arched a little as your butt was pushed back. You gasped. Rafe's hand rubbed over your butt cheek, you felt the rough palm, the long fingers, the cool metal of his ring on your skin. The touch was light, too light, too gentle, too soft. Your mouth opened, but all sounds were drowned by the music and the noise of the people.

His fingertips, just his fingertips, tenderly touched the back of your thigh, moved to the inside of your leg. They moved up and one finger rubbed over the fabric of your bikini bottoms. It was like scratching and you flinched, but that didn't make him withdraw his hand. Instead, the finger pushed harder, pushed to part your folds, pushed to tease you, while the layer of clothes still was between you and his digit.

You felt heat rushing through your body, neither caused by the sun nor by the heat of the people moving around you. You did not perceive any of them. You just felt him, while your eyes were directed at the band on stage performing their emotional song.

Rafe’s finger moved along your slit with pressure. Through your bikini panties his fingertip was able to find your most sensitive spot at once and he began teasing it mercilessly. No one heard it, but you were sure, Rafe felt that you were moaning. You felt a growing need that threatened to take over all your senses. As if he knew that, felt that, perceived that, Rafe pushed the fabric aside – tantalizingly slow. And his fingers found you wet and yearning for his touch. A mewling sound escaped your lips as a finger pushed inside you. You felt your walls clench around the digit. And you felt Rafe tense behind you and you were sure you heard a groan.

The song had changed, you only now realized, its rhythm was faster, wilder. And so was Rafe's touch. His finger thrust into you, stretching your tightness, pushing deep, making you squirm. Your hands gripping the metal of the barrier for support. Your legs started shaking as Rafe added a second finger and began fucking you with his digits. He curled them inside you and your head went back to your neck as you moaned shamelessly. He pulled his fingers out completely, just to push them into you even deeper. Again and again.

The song grew louder, harder, fiercer – and so did his finger-fucking you. Your body trembled, your voice was hoarse and you were whining now. He pushed you further and further, closer and closer to the edge.

Then, all of a sudden, he leaned over you – maybe he was pushed by the crowd jumping about, maybe he needed to feel you closer too – and you could feel his hardness press against your back. You pressed your eyes shut as your climax hit you, hit you hard. The wave swept you away and carried you to another place, where all you did was feel, feel this, feel him.

His fingers fucked you through your orgasm. He had wrapped his arm around you, was holding you close to his body, and thus was also keeping you from falling, since your legs were shaking and you feared you no longer could trust them to support you.

Slowly he pulled his fingers out. And even though you still felt echoes of your high, this also left a feeling of emptiness inside you. A longing that was always there if he wasn't inside you.

You felt his breath close to your ear and heard him say something, but the music drowned his words. You turned your head, looking at him with hooded eyes and saw him lick his fingers.

The rest of the concert felt like in a haze. Rafe kept his arm around you, holding you close, while you watched the band play but could only listen to his heart beat, as your body was still shivering.

When the show ended, people started moving and Rafe took a step back to give you room to turn around to him.

“Thirsty?” he asked you, and you just nodded, not trusting your voice.

His hand on your back, Rafe guided you through the crowd back to your friends, and you had to admit to yourself that you wouldn't have found them on your own.

Rafe ordered something to drink for you at the nearby bar while you stood with your friends. One of them commented that you were glowing and that you looked totally blissed out. You touched your cheek and felt the heat, and felt that smile on your face. She asked if the show had been that good and you replied that it had been amazing. Your voice was hoarse and she suspected it was from you singing along with the band so loudly all the time. You didn't comment on that, just felt another wave of heat going through your body. As you turned, your eyes met Rafe's. A little smirk on his lips as he put a cup into your hand and took a swig out of his own.

[bokettochild]

Just saw the update!

So, first thoughts!

Gremlin Legend and Sky is something I am LIVING for. Sky's little look of approval as he stands between Wars and Legend after that little move is sending me!

(Wild is not impressed)

I also really love that JoJo played with Warriors' cape/scarf being capable of doing that, which is a major risk btw, but I love that we see it's potential now!

Like, Legend's timing is perfect (and I love that this confirms the Legend v. Wars dynamic we all love) especially considering Hyrule was literally talking about the same thing and you'd THINK Captain-War-Hero over here would be more cautious because of it (although the fact this implies Legend doesn't trigger Warriors danger sense is GREAT for the fluff fic writers like me!)

Time and Wars looking like disappointed parents though is brilliant

(Warriors with messy hair is so funny to me, help)

The continued portrayal of Time being too harsh with the boys, all tense after what happened to Twilight, that's great. i'm glad the consequences of past events are following them, it really makes this all feel linear!

I also am ALL HERE for the boys finding their differences! Warriors and Wild both admitting to being new to dungeon crawling and the monsters involved is a great thing we've all been playing with in fics, but making it cannon feels like validation :)

Also, Warriors being defensive of that, and maybe a bit prickly about their judgement, I think it shows a lot of him. he's got his pride,a although he's learned to tame it. He's feeling a bit miffed to realize how different he is, but doesn't want them seeing him as lesser as well (although they never would). I can also hear him using a clipped military sort of tone when speaking here. It's just the way his words are selected and strung together that makes it seem he's being very to the point, direct, and cold in his tone, which really sells the whole difference between a soldier and the "average nobody" that the rest of them were (ironic, since he's trying to act like the difference isn't a big deal but only further accentuates it this way).

Twilight being pleased that Epona is fine and just enjoying a meal made me grin so big though. He's all worried for his girl but she is, quite literally, happy as a horse over there LOL

Also, this bit:

recognition for Sky's right-handedness, my beloved! (JoJo is giving us all the easter eggs!)

The fact that the passage is too small to let them all fight though is a brilliant way of preventing some of our heavy hitters and more skilled heroes from being able to do anything though!

I like how that gives us the chance to see Time one-shot the foe and also gives him the impression that the rest are maybe not skilled enough to do this alone. WE all know they are, but they're a handicap to each other right now, and it's only further cementing in his mind that they're not ready for all this, which will make his overbearing speech and the judgement he casts on them in combat all the more an issue.

I mean, we all know the hero's shade was like that, but JoJo has shown Time acting this way from the start

(Deep Shadows P.2)

(Likelike)

So I guess we're in for more of that now, and most likely someone (probably Legend, as it's usually him, or Wind, who is very aware of judgement from teh rest) is definitely going to have to call him on it soon, maybe in the dungeon. Will that lead to some bonding with Time where he has to admit he cares and worries about them as though they're his own? I hope so!

Anyways, all this to say, we really are seeing how much they struggle to work together, so hopefully this dungoen will teach them all how to do that better, as Time mentioned earlier

(Dawn p.8)

Now, to finish it off!I would like to thank JoJo for giving us so many beautiful shots of Twi this time around. I'll admit it now, he's pretty darn fine <3

That said, I'm loving the Legend content too! i hope we get to see some more starring moments from him going forwards, what with him being the dungeon veteran and all! It's great seeing his childish/playful side these last few updates, but I'm really craving some veteran Legend right now >:)

[aemondwhoresworld]

SOUVENIR

pairing: cregan stark x fem!reader

summary: what will happen when lord stark's wife or maybe his son, reckon found a souvenir from his old lover?

warning: minor angst, jealousy, mention of an ex-lover, use of y/n, cregan is a single dad, y/n’s lord stark second wife

word-count: 1k

mae: english is not my native language, please forgive my lag of grammar. i do use google for a translation, if any reader could help me fix some of the grammar or vocab, that would be great and i’m very appreciate it!! 🤗⭐️ this is my first fic, please forgive me if i made any mistake. i might delete soon (idk if rhis was too flop 🤗)

you and Cregan have been weds for 36 moons. although you are Cregan's second wife, Cregan has always treated you with nothing but respect, love that every lady wife deserve that affection from their lord husband, even when you know that the betroth between you and him are duty, beneficial for both houses but you cannot help but falling for him more and more. the begin of the 5 moons into your marriage life, both admitted you had feelings for the other.

right now, in the middle of winter season in Winterfell, sitting in front of the fireplace inside your and Cregan's chambers, with your favorite book open in your hand along with all the thoughts of those sweet moment that you have had with Cregan and Rickon.

“mommy, mommy look what i found” even you are not his real mom, Rickon still always call you mommy. Rickon's clear voice pulled you out of those thoughts and immediately all your attention is on Rickon holding a handkerchief in his hand, you take it from Rickon's little hands and ask

“oh what did you find Rickon, can you show it to me?” you asked softly, the boy also nodded in agreement, opened the handkerchief and you immediately saw that there were seams and very skillful embroidery inside, and of course this handkerchief did not belong to you because you had no memory of embroidering a handkerchief to give to Cregan as a gift before or not from what you remeber

when you look a bit closer at the embroidered lines, its shape resembles a man and woman, hands in hands. at this moment, you immediately recognize the male figure in the scarf is Cregan because of the Stark family's signature scarf and then when you look at women figure, you wonder who is the girl standing next to your husband?

but then a small knock on your chambers door interupted

“my lady, Lord Cregan Stark wants to meet you in the dining hall,” said the maid, Anza. before the Anza can leave the chambers, you called for her and asked about the handkerchief.

“Anza, do you know who is standing next to my husband in this embroidered scarf?” you gently asked while pointing at the embroidery. when Anza didn't answer your question, you turned to look at her with curious eyes.

"what’s up? is there something i shouldn't know about?”

“no, my lady,” she continued, “if you really want to know, i’ll tell you.”

“then just tell me then” you said

“my lady, it's Lady Celess Ashwood. an interest lover of Lord Stark.”

hearing this, you were a bit disappointed, but you had to regain your composure, stand up and tell Anza to take Rickon back his chambers because it was time for him to rest. you walked out of your shared chamber, went straight to the dining hall where Cregan was already sitting there and waiting for you, all the way from your chamber to the dining hall, holding that handkerchief in your hand with lots and lots of thoughts running through your mind

does he really love you?

or is it because he still misses his past lover?

there are so many thoughts that make you go to the dining hall without even knowing when, with a handkerchief in your hand.

“y/n” Cregan stood up, walked towards you with a gentle smile on his face, Cregan's hands gently hugged your waist, then he bowed down his head and gave a kiss on your forehead, a kiss filled with love.

“Cregan” you said and gently leaned into Cregan's hug. then you asked him

“who is Celess Ashwood?” Cregan was a bit surprised when he heard this name, its been awhile since he last heard this name but he calmly answered

“how do you know this name?” Cregan asked you with a warm voice, his toned arms still not leaving your waist. still holding onto you tightly like he was afraid that if he let go you would be blown away by the cold, strong winds of Winterfell.

“please, cregan answer my question first.”

“Celess is…” he hesitated a bit, as if he didn't want to say it

“Celess is someone i once had feelings for, someone i once loved.”

“so you still miss her? that’s why you didn't want to say it, right, my Lord Stark?" You asked Cregan with a slightly disappointed voice, tears welling up in the corners of your eyes

“please call me Cregan, we are man and wife there are need to call me that” he continue

“and no, i don't want to mention it, not because i don't want you to know, but because i think it's not important anymore. now i have you and Rickon by my side, that is my first priority.”

“then why did you still keep this handkerchief?” you continue to ask him

"i didn't keep it, love. i thought i lost it so i had no intention of finding it again."

after hearing Cregan say that, you can’t say that your moods change completly but atleast you felt relieve when you learned that your suspicions about his loyalty were completely wrong.

“well, i forgave you my husband but unfortunately for you, Rickon is the one who found it and gave it to me.”

“oh my son, Rickon is always on your’s side. i pray to the Seven one day you will gave me a daughter” Cregan joked, then pulled you in a tight embrace. then you ask

“so you have to quickly plant your seed inside me, hopefully the Seven might heard your pray sooner or later, my dear husband.” at this point, you could only laugh, only now did you pay attention to it. the dining table in the dining hall was filled with food and Cregan let you out of that warm hug

“but before we start to try and bring another baby Stark into this Winterfell, we must have to to eat first, my dear y/n.”

[asumi2020202]

The Right Choice

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x reader(slight), Daeron Targaryen x reader

Summary: After everything that has happened, you thought he would change. Only for him to inflict a bigger scar as your hope for this marriage vanishes into thin air.

A/n:Thank you for reading.

Alternate ending of: Everything has a Price to Pay

_______________________________ฅ⁠^⁠•⁠ﻌ⁠•⁠^⁠ฅ__

War was at its peak. It had been almost two weeks since the last time you met Aemond in your shared chambers. Your wounds had healed leaving behind just some aches.

You knew that he didn't speak the truth. The informer of the green, Larys Strong had informed them that Aemond had returned to Harrehal. And that his whore was pregnant with his bastard.

You knew he would do so. You knew he would not be able to keep his word. Because if he truly was faithfully, then he wouldn't had slept with her in the first place.

You didn't really feel anything. You were disappointed,Yes, but you wouldn't hold him back if he did love her. You had your son and your family.

Instead of being dissatisfied with his actions and crying over it, you thought of asking your eldest brother to annul the marriage.

Aemond had broken the gentle girl you once were. The pain and betrayal numbed your mind. No longer did you care of what the others would say.

_________________________________________

Word had been sent to the Red Keep from Harrehal that Prince Aemond would bring back his whore to the Keep.

Your numbed soul hurt. Alicent had didn't even want to call him her son but she couldn't deny it.

He had stated that a room should be prepared for... Alys. The name of his whore.

You simply couldn't stand the thought of being with him again. Not when that perpetrator would also stay with his whore inside your very home.

You asked the maids to shift your belongings and your son's to another room. Your mother, the dowager queen had told you to stay with Helaena since Aegon doesn't sleep with her.

She thought that since both of you had the same fate, you could find comfort in each other.

You had agreed. Hastily leaving the room along with your son to find your eldest brother, the king.

_________________________________________

Aemond had landed near the dragon pit. He got off of Vhagar before carefully taking Alys off of Vhagar as well.

Alys had tried to touch Vhagar. Trying to pet her like Aemond does but Vhagar gave a loud and angry growl. And almost tried to bite her before Aemond intervened.

Alys fearful of the dragon, hid behind Aemond.

He turned and saw Moonfyre giving a very angry and loud scream towards them before both the female dragons flew off in the sky.

Aemond, turning his gaze back to Alys, guided her inside.

_________________________________________

As he walked through the garden and inside the corridors, he could see you talking to someone. It was a man. He too had white hair like him and was tall like him.

Aemond asked a passing maid to escort Alys to her room before he saw you coming towards his direction. The man going the opposite direction.

As you tried your hard to walk past Aemond and avoid him, he grabbed your hand.

"Y/n.." he started.

You turned to look at him. He felt a pang of hurt in his chest. Your eyes looked hollow unlike the way it shined when you conversed with the other man.

" It was just one night . I didn't think she would get pregnant. I couldn't leave her there, knowing our enemies might attack any time. I really am guilted. I didn't wish to hurt you love. Please forgive me." He spoke, looking at your face as you looked outside.

"I'm sorry I couldn't satisfy you. That you sought out another woman for pleasure." You said. He was about to speak but you didn't give him the chance.

"From now on you can live with her. I hold no grudge. After all, it is my fault for not being able to hold my husband to myself.

But don't worry you can love her as much you wish from now. You and I will only be related through blood and name, nothing else. I already found someone who will love me."

"My love. I don't understand what you mean. Found another? We are married. I am your husband and you are my wife." He spoke up, hoping you didn't mean what he thought you mean. Anger and jealousy in his voice.

"No longer. I had asked Aegon to annul our marriage after you're raven arrived. And he did so. The whole of kings landing knows of what you did brother. The council has decided that me and my twin will marry each other so I can be relieved of the shame you bestowed upon me. Daeron and I did loved each other before he was sent to old town.

Now that I am no longer bound to you, I am free to marry him and my son does need a father. Aegon assured me that my son will be acknowledged by the people as mine and Daeron's son, as the people haven't seen Aenor yet. You would be wise to not disturb us." You spoke with venom as you walked away.

Annul the marriage? Your twin? When did Daeron return from old town? Aenor will be claimed as Daeron's son. His younger brother.

So many thoughts went around Aemond's head. He had messed up everything just for pleasure. He lost the only who loved him for who he was and now she left him along with his son.

Defeated, he asked a maid to escort him to where Alys was.

_________________________________________

All the family had gathered in the dining hall. Aemond came in and saw everyone already chatting and conversing. His eyes looked for you until they did find you.

In your right sat Helaena, conversing with you. And on your left, in his seat, sat Daeron.. he saw how the two of you held hands and occasionally smiled at each other.

His thoughts were disturbed as he felt a tugging on his arm. It was Alys.

The entire family's laughter and peace was stopped due to the unwanted face in the dining hall.

"Brother. I thought that this hall was only for family, you had been the one to tell me that. And yet you bring some whore here. Aren't you acting hypocritical?" Aegon said. Giving a disgusted look towards Alys.

Aegon noticed your discomfort with Alys present. He knew he treated his wife the same but Helaena was weird to him. Yet you... were his perfect little sister.

Aegon had completely changed after becoming the king. He couldn't quit drinking but he didn't go to brothels.

"Alys will be eating with us from now on. And I suggest you show her some respect." Aemond replied as Alys looked down.

"Suggest? Hah!" Aegon laughed. "Are you trying to intimidate me brother? I am the king. Your whore is of little worth to me." Aegon continued.

"Aegon." Alicent tried to stop her son. She got up from her seat and came around the table at your side and gently placed her hand on your arm.

"I could behead you and whore at once for the shame you brought to the house and my sister." Aegon said as Aemond had nothing to reply with. He only looked at your face as you turned away.

"Guards. Escort prince Aemond and that.... Witch! to their chambers." Aegon ordered as the said people were escorted away.

You looked at Daeron as he offered you a smile which you reciprocated and intertwined your hands together.

_________________________________________

"How could you?! You ruined everything that I had! Just to cover up one lie of yours! You decieved me!!"

"I'm sorry Aemond but I needed money to raise my child! I had to do it. I am sorry if I hurt you.. but I do accept that I never loved you to begin with."

Hurt?! You took everything from me! My child! My wife! My family!.. And now you tell me that... The child is not even mine?!!

Shouting could be heard throughout the castle.

Alys had been secretly seeing and writing to her lover. Not Aemond. Aemond had accidentally seen them kissing when he entered the room.

She confessed that she was pregnant before they even laid with each other. That the child was of her lover's.

Aemond in a fit of rage even slapped her when she told him that she only stayed with him for money to run away with her lover.

Aemond felt betrayed. Just as he felt when his father didn't take his side when he lost his eye. He felt blocked from all sides. Because of his mistake, no one in his family believes him anymore.

He ran out the door as fast as he could. He hastily reached the dragon pit and mounted Vhagar.

He took off to the place where Aegon had been coronated. As got off and pushed through the crowd. Tears flowed from his eye.

There you stood before the crowd. You and Daeron. As the High Septon finished his speech. You lips and palms were already cut. By the time he reached, you two were drinking from the cup.

He saw the way you both kissed eachother so lovingly, the same way he did when you both got married. But now he had to see his brother do that to you.

His mother, the dowager Queen. His brother, the king. His grandsire, the Hand. His sister, the Queen. All stood there and smiled. The crowd were cheering. Yet Aemond felt bitter.

_________________________________________

The Dowager Queen and The Hand had left for the Red Keep along with the King and the Queen.

Daeron was mounting Tessarion and you Moonfyre. Aemond ran to meet you. As he did, you looked down at him.

"It isn't mine. That child isn't mine." Aemond spoke. He was panting, having to run all the way to you.

"Oh that.. I already knew. Helaena told me 2 days after I last met you." You spoke calmly.

"Already knew?" He felt confused.

"Well if my mind serves properly, Helaena told me through her riddle 'The one who he sacrificed for is not his own.' "

Aemond didn't even know what to say, so you spoke for him.

"Brother..... I know it was a mistake you made. I won't blame you for seeking love hence I forgive you for what you did but I don't know if mother will. I am thankful to you." You spoke.

"Why would you thank me for what I did?" Aemond didn't understand what you said.

"I am thankful because for your mistake I was reunited with my twin, my husband. I blindly thought I loved you but it seems that I was wrong. I can only give you one advice... Move on." You said the last sentence coldly, not sparing him even a glance. And with that Moonfyre and Tessarion flew into the sky, roaring from above.

Aemond stood there, his one eye saw your pain and anguish. His tears fell endlessly as he stared into the sky.

_________________________________________

You stood near the corridor of the second floor, staring at the training yard. While your husband, Daeron, cradled your son to his chest.

You turned to your husband as he gently kissed you with one hand cupping your cheek and tilting your head up.

"I am to go get a dragon egg for my little princess." Daeron said as his eyes travel to your stomach.

"Princess? How do you know it'll be a girl? I am betting a barrel of wine that it'll be a boy. Mother's intuition." You replied to your husband, smirking at him.

"Let's see who will win. The father or the mother." Daeron spoke, giving you his kinky smile. You got on your toes to kiss his cheek as you both were leaving for your chambers.

Beknownst to you, Aemond had seen everything you two were doing. He felt hurt. Hurt because he couldn't experience it. Hurt because he saw how happy you were with his brother. He regretted everything he had done that day. The day he laid with the whore.

He saw you both leaving. While he was blinking away his tears, he saw you angle your head a little towards him. He saw you smile and rotate you head back to the front.

He heard you say a sentence before you left with you husband and child. One that completely broke him.

..."I finally made The Right Choice".......

-Lillian

[wileys-russo]

off limits (4) II a.putellas x león!reader

part one part two part three

lengthy one! but there is another part in the works off limits (4) II a.putellas x león!reader

"what is going on in here?"

your head snapped to the door where a confused looking ingrid stood, patri and alba stumbling in after right her and promptly smacking into one another as they skidded to a halt.

“can you take me home please?” you sent the norwegian a pleading look as her own eyes fell to the grip alexia had on your wrist and hardened.

despite only being just under a year older than you ever since she’d started seeing your sister and grew to know how close the bond the two of you shared was, ingrid had adopted that same protective older sister mentality. to the point you even sometimes went to her for advice over mapi.

“of course. let her go alexia.” ingrid warned, calmly but firmly . everything seemed to come crashing down for the older girl as she saw the fearful look in your eyes and immediately let go of your wrist.

you practically flew into ingrid who wrapped her arms around you, mumbling she’d get you out of here and with one last disappointed look in alexia’s direction she’d pulled you out of the bathroom.

suddenly the room seemed to grow smaller and smaller for the captain. she found herself clutching at her chest struggling to breathe as the weight of how she had treated you lately all came crashing down on top of her.

as did the reality that she had walked away from you, from you.

you. the girl who she would have done just about anything for, the girl she was still head over heels in love with and the girl she had treated like she was nothing as she walked away without a look back.

and so the facade alexia had built up, broke.

alba and patri were by her side in an instant, trying to calm the blonde down as she pushed them away with a frantic shake of her head.

she stumbled to her feet, shoving past the younger girls needing to be out of the rapidly shrinking room where all she could hear ringing in her ears were your desperate and broken pleas for her to stay with you.

of course you were angry with her, you had every single right to be and she had no power at all to say you didn’t.

alexia glanced up as she finally caught her breath again, the dance floor now a little less crowded as people had started to drunkenly stumble away home together, the same thing she had just tried to protect you from.

but now it was beginning to dawn on her just how that would have looked to you, and how with the way she'd treated you she was the last person who had any sort of say on what you did with your life anymore, she'd kissed that right goodbye the night she'd left you.

it was through the throng of people grinding and pushing into one another on the dance floor that she found you, stood with your arms wrapped around yourself tightly next to ingrid as ona and irene were trying their best to help a very drunk mapi up to her feet so you could all leave.

“alexia no.” she moved to go to you, to comfort you, to apologise and try her best to fix this ungodly mess she'd made, but instead she ran into a body which put themselves in her way.

“she’s drunk and upset ale, and you’re thinking with your emotions and not your head. let her go.” lucy remanded gently, hands falling to her friend and captains shoulders who hesitated before nodding in agreement, allowing herself to be lead away from the group by her english team mate.

eventually she watched from a stool at the bar as you left, taking a piece of her heart with you as alexia sighed deeply, feeling a hand touch her shoulder. glancing to her left she saw the familiar eyes of her younger sister, alba's gaze a mixture of confusion, concern and frustration.

“i think you have some explaining to do hermana.”

~

you groaned as you felt a weight settle on your chest, eyes half opening as they locked with a familiar pair of bright green ones peering down at you curiously.

“buenos bagheera.” you sighed tiredly, moving your hand to scratch behind the cars left ear as he purred and pushed his head into your hand happily.

blinking a few times as your sight adjusted you realised you were in the guest bedroom of your sisters apartment, a room not unfamiliar to you though how you ended up here was a little more foggy.

you remembered bits and pieces of the night, probably in thanks to the many many shots alba had practically poured down your throat.

you remembered the brunette stranger whose face was a blur and how her hands felt all over your body, a sort of intimate touch you couldn’t help but wish was coming from your ex girlfriend despite how much she had hurt you.

then of course that had started the fight with said ex girlfriend in the bathroom, you remembered that, and how alexia's hand gripped your wrist, slender fingers digging desperately into your tanned skin.

you remembered clinging tightly onto ingrid as she pleaded for her girlfriend to get up and leave the club, then all you could recall was that you fell asleep in the car and now you’d woken up here.

the searing throbbing behind your eyes lead you to believe at some point of the night you must have cried, your makeup at somehow removed though you could feel the uncomfortable thickness of dried tears coat the corner of your eyelids.

your head pounding you gently moved the feline off of you who mewed and stretched out, flopping down on his side to lay in a sun soaked corner of the bed.

with much struggle you managed to get up and on your feet. glancing down you were clothed in a large shirt, noticing your dress from last night nearly folded on the plush navy blue armchair by the door.

withholding a groan at the way your skull pounded you opened the door and padded out into the kitchen, neither of the other two women awake or up as you were alone in your endeavor. your throat was dry and screaming for some sort of reprise where you'd likely snored and slept with your mouth open as you always did after you drank, something your sister and friends had far too many videos of.

chugging a few glasses of water and eventually finding something for your growing headache you noticed the door to the other bedroom was left open.

rinsing your glass and grabbing two clean ones you filled them up and grabbed the girls two pills each.

standing in the doorway you would have laughed at the sight before you had you been in a better mood.

ingrid was fast asleep on her stomach, face pressed into her pillow as your sister lay with her legs hanging half out of the covers, a pair of sunglasses covering her eyes and one heavily tattooed arm draped lazily over her face to further block out any sort of light.

you made your way round the bed, leaving the waters and advil on either one of their side tables. as you placed them down beside your sister you heard movement, the older girl lifting back the covers and opening her arms.

you hesitated for a moment thinking things over before that became far too much work given your hangover and you collapsed beside her with a sigh, pressing your face into her shoulder as her arms wound tightly around you.

“don’t get it confused, i’m still really mad at you.” you mumbled as she hummed, knowing you needed this right now maybe even more than she did.

at the rustling beside her ingrid lifted her head up with a tired frown, though seeing the two of you a smile grew on her lips and her head thudded down on the pillow, one hand pushing up the back of her girlfriends shirt to scratch her back.

despite currently wanting nothing more than to punch mapi square in the mouth at the absolute mess she’d caused of your life, you had missed the familiar comfort of a simple hug from her, especially given that the two of you were normally as close as close could be.

with there being four years between you growing up you’d had your bumps in the road as puberty hit and hormones and attitudes shifted between both of you, either one going through the 'i hate everyone get away from me' phase in turn.

and you both of course had many the fist fight and screaming match over the normal stupid things sister argued about like clothes and hairbrushes, having to share a room until you were eleven and she was fifteen.

but your bond had always been undeniably strong, and no matter how much you might anger or frustrate her sometimes if anyone even dared to look at you the wrong way she was in their face within an instant.

your first day at the same school she’d kept a wary eye on you despite strictly warning you to stay away from her and her friends. but the moment she noticed you pushed over by a boy you’d rejected she’d had him up against a wall by the collar of his uniform with a black eye and suddenly she was being suspended for three days.

which was part of the reason you felt so hurt and betrayed by the way your sister had lashed out at you without a second thought. her words and opinion had always meant the world to you, you looked up to her more than you would ever dare to let her know.

and though when it came to falling in love you’d had your fair share of partners scared off by her overbearing nature, there was still a slight glimmer of hope that maybe once she realised it was her best friend that you’d fallen for she would ease off. maybe she would realise alexia wouldn’t dare to hurt you.

how were you to know that you couldn’t have been more wrong about any of that.

alexia had now more than proven now her ability to hurt you seemingly without a second thought and mapi's rushed nonacceptance of the two of you had been the root catalyst of it all.

with that swirling around in your mind you pulled away from your sisters hold, shuffling to sit on the end of the bed rubbing your eyes tiredly, bagheera jumping onto the bed and settling himself in your previous position.

"my head hurts." mapi groaned quietly, again covering her face with her hands as her partner chuckled beside her, rolling onto her back and pushing herself to sit up, sending you a smile which you returned tiredly.

"that is called tequila mi corazón." ingrid patted the spaniards head who only groaned louder at the words. you left them to it, making your way back to the kitchen and starting to brew some coffee, hearing footsteps follow you.

a glance over your shoulder showed it was ingrid who had followed you, squeezing your shoulder gently before she began to rummage through the fridge, intending to start cooking something for breakfast.

"hey, you doing okay?" you pulled yourself to sit up on the counter beside the coffee machine as it slowly hummed to life. "i'm fine." you sent her a small smile as she only hummed, the stove top flickering to life.

"what did i walk in on last night?" she questioned somewhat hesitantly, not wanting to overstep as you let out a long sigh. "it's a little blurry, but i think she got jealous i wanted to go home with that girl from the club and decided she was going to take me home instead." you explained.

"none of us would have let you leave with that girl, you were far too drunk. i only came in because i thought she followed you and patri was worried since she couldn't see her on the dance floor anymore." ingrid elaborated as you nodded, wincing a little.

"it's not her responsibility to worry about me like that anymore though. thats why i got upset, she hasn't made any sort of move to apologise since she left me. why should she get to suddenly play hero and take me home because i'm too drunk?" you scowled, sipping at your coffee.

"i get it, i understand your anger. but even if she has been awful at showing it and i am not excusing her actions at all, alexia still cares for you." ingrid sent you an apologetic smile as you scoffed and shook your head. "what are we talking about?" you turned to glance at your sister who took a seat at the island, sunglasses dropped down to her nose.

"nothing." you answered quickly, sending ingrid a look as the taller girl turned back to her cooking, mapi thankfully too hungover to pick up on any of it.

"mami just called, checking what time we're meeting her for lunch." you let out a long and exhausted groan at the older girls words. "i'm not going."

"yes you are. i already told her we would be there by one, all of us." mapi sighed, rubbing her temples tiredly. "why!" you complained in annoyance, tucking one knee to your chest and resting your chin on it.

"because we said we'd be there and if we cancel now she'll be upset. she hasn't seen us in a month!" your sister reminded as you groaned yet again, hating that you really couldn't come up with any excuse to get out of it and nurse your growing hangover.

"she's been on a holiday, that's her choice." you huffed again, ingrid pinching your leg lightly with a look as you sighed.

"well then someone needs to drive me home or i'm going to need to borrow some clothes."

~

"oh you have to be kidding me. joder!" you swore under your breath, stopping abruptly as the two girls in front of you paused, glancing back at you with confused looks at your quiet outburst.

"why is she here! did you set this up maría?" you hissed glaring daggers at your sister, nodding to the large table across the courtyard where your mother sat, alexia, alba and eli also sat beside her.

"no? i promise hermana. i really really don't know why she's there- oh they've seen us now." your sister bit her lip guiltily as your mother furiously waved in her direction, ingrid rubbing your back as you withheld the urge to scream and pull your hair out.

surely this was some sort of twisted joke the universe had out for you.

"come on, you don't need to speak with her." the taller girl assured, nudging you to follow as she took mapi's outstretched hand, the three of you making your way toward the table.

met with a chorus of excited greetings you made your way around saying hi, kissing cheeks and being pulled into tight hugs, your mother quickly explaining how she'd seen eli sitting by herself when she arrived and invited her and the girls to join you all.

again, a horrifically cruel coincidence. there was easily hundreds of restaurants in barcelona so someone upstairs had to have it out for you for all of you to have made lunch plans here.

well aware of lingering eyes and not wishing any questions to arise you pressed a quick kiss to alexia's cheek and mumbled a soft hola, really more quickly pressing your cheek against hers and darting away.

once everyone had exchanged greetings and sat down you were at one end of the table beside alba who sat beside eli and your mother, across from ingrid and mapi who sat next to alexia, the two of you at least having as much space between one another as possible.

though not nearly enough for you to be comfortable.

your food ordered and drinks in hand conversation flowed easily, neither of your mothers thankfully picking up on the fact that you and alexia hadn't exchanged so much as a single word the last hour you'd all been sat down.

"ay! you have your own." you bumped your shoulder into the brunette beside you who stole your drink, alba tilting her head away from you as she rasied it to her lips.

"give it, alba!" you laughed, punching her arm and reaching out for the drink, mouth dropping as she finished it off and handed you back the empty glass with a wink and a kiss to your cheek.

"puta." you swore with a shake of your head, reaching for her drink as she grabbed your hand with a grin and a shake of her own, the two of you too busy messing around to notice the withering glare sent your way by the older putellas at the other end of the table, the jealous fury in her eyes hidden away behind a pair of prada sunglasses.

"hey, stop it." it wasn't missed however by your sister who knocked her knee into the captain, alexia looking away and resting her chin on her hand, mapi rolling her eyes and returning to her conversation with the women across from her, having been trying to include her best friend who only seemed content to sit silently and stoically.

"we need to talk later mi amiga, you've been holding out on me about something and it's not appreciated." alba warned you playfully though the look in her eyes let you know she wasn't joking and it didn't take much for you to know what she wanted to talk about.

"later." she assured as your food arrived, everyone calling out whose was whose as plates began to fill the table. "albs! again you have your own." you laughed, shoving away the catalan whose fork knocked against your plate before she placed a sloppy kiss to your cheek and you gagged jokingly, wiping your cheek on her shoulder as she stole a forkful of your food.

alexias hands balled into fists where they sat dormant on her knees, the blondes jaw clenching which again didn't go unnoticed by the older león beside her. "okay no, come." mapi sighed, standing and nodding for alexia to follow, fixing her with a firm stare as she tried to refuse.

you glanced over for a second at the two as your sister excused them to use the bathroom before she tugged alexia away and your attention turned back to your conversation with ingrid who shrugged when you raised an eyebrow silently.

"what are you doing?" mapi asked quietly as the two girls sat down in a secluded corner away from the main dining area, away from prying eyes or ears. "what?" alexia replied bluntly, pushing her sunglasses on top of her head with a raised eyebrow.

"you know what, ingrid told me what happened last night. ale-" the tattooed spaniard started with a sigh before alexia cut her off with a scoff and a shake of her head. "do not dare to lecture me. this is your fault in the first place!" alexia snapped, mapi at first taken aback by the aggression.

"i should not have reacted the way i did ale, i know that and i have apologized to both of you about it. but you should not have left her! we are both to blame, and i'm trying to work things out with her. so if she doesn't want to speak with you, leave her be." mapi warned, alexia shaking her head furiously with a laugh that was anything but humorous.

"you have to be joking mapi. i left her because you told me to! because you told me we were done and she and i were done. what was i supposed to do? tell me what would you have wanted me to do in that moment hm? when you were yelling at us both and pushing her around huh?" alexia shot up to her feet, pushing at the girls chest with a glare.

"i didn't see you standing up for her! or apologizing and trying to work anything out with her after she ignored us both for weeks. maybe i was right alexia and you aren't good for her, maybe you did her a favour by leaving!" mapi snapped back, shoving the blonde with the same intensity she'd just received.

"hey!" both girls heads swivelled toward the new voice, ingrid standing there with her arms crossed and fixing the two of them with a harsh glare.

"neither of you are even thinking about her, or her feelings, or her choices and how she has been heavily affected by everything, how much she is hurting and angry. idiotas!" the norweign snarled, both taken by surprise at the strict tone of the taller girl.

"i watched her cry her eyes out for an hour and a half last night after we left ale, over you." ingrid warned, pointing to the captain whose anger melted away and was immediately replaced with guilt.

"and i had to hear her heart break as she told me the horrible things you said to her, and how much it killed her to think her own sister saw her that way." her finger switched to point at her girlfriend whose once tense body language crumbled, both girls sitting back down.

"you have both been nothing but selfish, arrogant and stubborn about this entire situation. first you overstep and overreact and cause this whole mess by asserting your opinion where it wasn't needed. and then you leave her when she needed you the most to stay and to comfort her and prove that it didn't matter, that you would be there for her still. she was clearly not okay and her actions screamed that but neither of you bothered to check on her, or apologise, or even try at all to fix anything!" ingrid's frustrations had now boiled over as she berated the two women in front of her like naughty children, both of them with their heads hung low agreeing with every word.

"she is the collateral of all of this, she is the one who both of you claim to care about so deeply but you made up with one another before her. after it was the issues between the two of you that even made all of this happen! how do you think that made her feel?" ingrid spoke more calmly this time, words still sharp as knives as they cut through the air.

"you both need to put in the work if you want to save any sort of relationship with her. not that either of you probably deserve it! you-" she switched her eyes toward her girlfriend who cowered. "-you need to show her you're sorry and that you regret your actions, actions which were the cause of all of this. show her that you want to fix things and you have learned from your mistakes. not just say sorry and hope that things just slip back as they were." she warned, mapi nodding.

"and you, ale you need to do a lot more than try to take her home when she is drunk. have you even said sorry? spoken to her about that night? acknowledged anything? because that is the first step in a very long road to try and mend things. and if she does not want to mend things then you have lost the right to argue that, and you need to respect her wishes. both of you!" with that and one last firm look ingrid turned on heel and returned to the table, leaving both girls with their heads in their hands.

~

"did you drive here chica?" alba asked, arm slung around you as you shook your head. "good. stay for another drink with me and i will drive you home." the younger putellas all but demanded as she patted your cheek with her hand, recounting the plan to the group before you could even say a word.

you missed the look sent alba's way by her sister, the younger of the two rolling her eyes at the obvious jealousy and blanking her when the two of you said the rest of your goodbyes to your families.

though she wasn't going to let it go that easily. "what are you doing?" alexia tugged on the back of her younger sisters top, earning her attention as yours was stolen by a lingering goodbye with your mother.

"spending time with a close friend. back off alexia!" alba warned, having had just about enough of the dirty looks being sent her way all afternoon. "so i tell you we were seeing one another and your response is to try and make a move on her? dios mio alba whats wrong with you?" alexia growled quietly causing the younger girl to let out a sarcastic bark of laughter.

"you think im making a move on her hermana? seriously? you forget i have known her the same amount of time you have known mapi. just because the two of you kept this from me does not mean i do not care about her or already see her as a close friend, we have been close for years! of course i a, not making a move on her! asshole." with that the younger putellas scoffed and shoved alexia away, making her way to your side and dragging you away, blowing your mothers a kiss as she did so.

moving down the road to a different bar the two of you sat together at a table in the back corner on stools, a water in your hand and a tequila in alba's as she fixed you with a look and you already knew what was coming.

"okay amiga now we are alone i want to hear all about it. vamos!" the brunette clapped, waving for you to speak as you sighed, wishing the water in your hand could magically turn into vodka but you knew you had training tomorrow.

"albs. you obviously know what happened so why do i need to tell you? we aren't together anymore and it is still raw, por favour amiga." you groaned with a pleading stare.

"no, i only know a little. only enough to know that my sister did something wrong and you are no longer together. but she did say you were seeing one another for months which both of you kept from me. so i need to know everything from the beginning, vamos!" she repeated with another wave, and you knew one putellas well enough to see that the unwavering stubbornness was clearly a genetic trait.

"fine. well-"

it had all started on a tuesday night. you had offered to host a few of the girls you were closest with for a dinner after training, but with a particularly nasty stomach flu making its way through the team, it ended up only being you and alexia.

"the two survivors ay chica?" alexia grinned cheekily, clinking her glass against yours making you laugh. "don't you jinx it!" you warned playfully, taking a mouthful of water and turning back to the stove top.

"are you sure i can't help with anything? you know i am an excellent chef." alexia asked for the tenth time, knee bouncing restlessly as she sat feeling useless.

"you might be, but you are a terrible listener and an even worse assistant." you teased, grinning at the older girl over her shoulder who scoffed in offence. "you are far too bossy, capitana." you grinned at her obvious disagreement.

"no i am not! who assists most of your goals bonita hm?" alexia questioned with a hum and a raised eyebrow, you turned and stayed facing away from her to avoid the midfielder seeing the way your cheeks flushed crimson at the term of endearment.

that had seemed to be happening a lot lately.

you and alexia had always been close through her friendship with your sister and playing alongside her at a national level, then when you transferred over to barca she was quick to take you under a watchful eye.

that had been fine, you'd always looked up to her as a footballer and a human being. the catalan's passion for the sport was undying and the way she held herself as a public figure, a team mate, a captain and a friend was beyond admirable.

though lately, and you couldn't pin point exactly when or why things had shifted, you found yourself unable to hold her gaze, becoming flustered when she was near by and finding terms of endearment she had always used with you to send your cheeks the same colour as your national jersey.

and you hated yourself for it, because despite not knowing when it started you weren't stupid, you knew what it meant.

you had a crush, a stupidly infuriatingly mind melting crush. on a girl who was not only your captain, friend, and team mate.

but your sisters best friend, a person who not only would never share your feelings but was well off limits because of the sheer fact you feared if anything was to happen your sister might strangle you or her with her bare hands.

you'd finished dinner, sat at the table discussing anything and everything which inevitably lead to alexia's favourite subject, football.

you'd half zoned out as the girl droned on, walking you through play by play of the drill you'd been practicing in training, captain mode kicking in as she went over different ways the ball could be delivered.

you found your eyesight continued to slip down to her lips, watching her mouth move more than you focused on the actual words coming out of them, hating how you couldn't help but wonder what they felt like, what they tasted like.

you blinked several times as alexia leant forward and sharply flicked your ear, noticing that you weren't listening to her and not missing just where your attention had shifted to.

unknown to you, you weren't the only one who had a crush. not that alexia would ever be caught dead saying that horribly juvenile word, she preferred to think of it as an attraction, an interest, one she'd harbored silently for awhile now, holding her cards close to her chest.

seeing the amusement on her face at the fact you'd very clearly ignored most of what she said you grabbed her plate and yours, excusing yourself to clean up and again dismissing any help from her.

"go find something to watch! unless you want to head home?" you offered as you stacked the dishwasher, alexia shaking her head and settling herself on your lounge. "and not football ale!" you warned, the brunette rolling her eyes at your stern words.

settling on something light, some reality show where strangers were matched together and married, you shortly joined her, throwing your body back into the cushions with a sigh.

"you watch this?" you perked up with a grin, alexia scoffed and shook her head, but you saw through it. "fine! sometimes." she admitted quietly making you laugh.

"wait till the team hears big bad la reina watches married at first sight!" you teased. "don't you dare!" alexia warned seriously, kicking you with a glare. "or what?" you mocked with a grin, kicking her back as the girl grabbed your legs, tugging you closer to her.

"i'll make you run extra laps, extra drills, maybe some sprints and push ups for good measure." she smirked, pulling the captain rank and making you roll your eyes. "oh sorry capitana! forgot you aren't human and allowed to enjoy lifes simple pleasure. all bow down to la reina!" your voice dripped with sarcasm as you mocked a bow, alexia shoving your head playfully.

"don't call me that please, i hate it." she groaned, your head now falling to her shoulder as the two of you fell into a comfortable silence, the closeness of your bodies not lost on either of you.

after a while alexia was beginning to grow restless, long bored of the trashy reality show you seemed glued to, your body now leaning into her side.

shifting lightly, you tensed a little as you felt her arm move to settle across your shoulders, her thumb and pointer finger gently massaging a knot in the base of your neck.

"is this okay?" she asked softly and you nodded, terrified to look up at her as your heart hammered in your chest. eventually, nerves began to settle as you realised she had initiated the close contact, having moved her hand away from your neck and settling it in your hair, absentmindedly playing with the loose strands.

without looking at her you moved your left hand to rest on her bare thigh, thumb tracing small circles on the bare skin as alexia held her breath at the contact, the gentle but consistent touch driving her mad.

"is this okay?" you echoed her previous words, alexia humming as the two of you sat in a silence, a strange tension building around you both which only grew the longer it was left unaddressed.

a new episode started and alexia decided she could no longer deal with the now suffocating silence which had begun to tighten around her throat, leaving her struggling to even have a cohesive thought.

you felt the weight of her arm disappear and a small frown knitted its way to your eyebrows, though before you could remove your hand fearing you'd made her uncomfortable, fingers grabbed at your chin, tilting your head upwards.

no words were said as your eyes locked with the soft pools of hazel that shone down at you, a curiosity lit up within them that you'd not seen before. alexia's gaze dropped to your lips, thoughts cloudy as the pad of her thumb tenderly grazed the curvature of your jaw.

slowly your free hand moved upwards, settling on her cheek as her head tilted into your touch, your chest tightening as she turned and placed a gentle kiss to your palm.

a few more beats of silence passed, the taller girl struggling to get out the words which jammed in her throat, so desperate to escape but stifled by her fear that she was misreading this whole situation.

"alexia." you'd whispered her name so quietly, as if it were made of glass and the moment it dropped from your lips it could smash into a thousand pieces.

"can i kiss you?" those next four words fell from her mouth and for a moment your world shattered, struggling to ground yourself into reality, too sure this had to be some sort of fever dream.

not trusting your voice you only nodded, using the hand which rested on her cheek to guide her mouth down towards yours, alexias own hand nudging your chin up as she stopped, lips ghosting yours.

it was like a game of cat and mouse, both awaiting to see who would crack first, who was going to make that closing move and put the final nail in the coffin of what was once a seemingly healthy friendship.

unable to wait any longer, driven positively mad by the way her breath fanned your face and you drowned in her familiar and ever alluring scent which invaded all your senses, you closed the gap.

your mouths slotted together perfectly, your head tilting a little more to the right as her rosy pink pillow soft lips pressed oh so heavenly against yours.

her hand moved from your chin to gently grab the back of your neck, flushing your bodies closer as her tongue swiped your bottom lip, your mouth opening just enough for it to dart inside.

your other hand flew to cup her face, deepening the kiss further as your tongues battled for dominance, though lost in a pleasure drunk haze you allowed her to take control, not before nipping at her bottom lip causing her to inhale sharply in surprise.

a few more moments of bliss passed before oxygen became an issue and your hand moved to interlock with hers, moving it to your shoulder as you pulled away, chest heaving and mind reeling.

"I-" you started, words unable to form as your head spun and your lips tingled like you'd just eaten something sour. "we should-" alexia also struggled to get the words out, her head foggy from the addictively intoxicating feeling of kissing you.

"wait." your body ran cold as you leaned back in to kiss her once more, her hands on your shoulders holding you still as your eyes widened. "no no no, por favor." she reassured as you tried to move away and she held you firmly in place, assuming you'd made a mistake.

"i want to do this amor, but properly." the older girl started softly, a slight blush coming to her cheeks at the unfamiliar request, your eyes widened in surprisingly as her thumb gently traced your swollen bottom lip.

"could i please take you on a date?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

part five

[hqbaby]

thirteen — respectfully, fuck off

mess it up — gojo x reader & sukuna x reader

⁀➴ when i told you i’m fine, you were lied to. when the love of your life falls for someone else, you decide to move on—by pretending to date your best friend, the campus fuckboy.

previous — masterlist — next

word count. 2.4k content. profanity, mentions of injury, reader’s family is fucked up, violent confrontation (stops before it escalates but mentioning it jic)

“Do you wanna get married someday?”

It was past midnight and you and Satoru were in your room, lying on your bed, talking about everything and nothing at all. Your head was resting on his bare chest, one of his hands holding you to him by your waist and the other twirling a strand of your hair. It was a quiet moment, the good kind, and you didn’t want it to end.

You lifted your head and looked at him, the moonlight reflecting in his eyes as he peered at you, a relaxed expression painting his features. “You wanna marry me?”

“‘Course,” he said without hesitation. He squeezed your waist and smiled. “What about you? Wanna marry me?”

You tilted your head to the side and hummed, pretending to consider your answer very carefully. “I don’t know,” you told him. “Would you sign a prenup?”

He let out a soft laugh and shook his head, pulling you over to straddle him. “I’d do anything for you,” he told you as he leaned up until your noses touched. “So, what do you say? After graduation?”

You nuzzled your nose against his, hovering over his lying form. “You gotta get a job first,” you said. “How else could you afford a ring?”

“Right, right,” Satoru whispered, his gaze drifting towards your lips. “What kind of ring do you want? Diamond? Sapphire? What about emerald?”

You ran a hand through his hair and placed a kiss on his cheek. “Any ring would do.”

His smile grew wider, his grin all toothy and boyish. “You’re an easy girl to please,” he said as he cupped your cheek. “Hey.”

“Hey,” you said back, smiling now too.

“I really love you, do you know that?”

You scrunched your nose. “I might’ve had an inkling.”

“Just an inkling?” he asked, hands coming to grip your thighs. He clicked his tongue. “Now. that won’t do.”

You laughed. “You’re such a dork,” you told him.

“Well, you love this dork.”

You nodded, letting your lips hover over his, the promise of a kiss just waiting to be fulfilled. “I do,” you told him. “I really do.”

“Aika’s down.”

You look up from the place on the ground where you’ve been stretching. Yuki walks over to the team with a disappointed look on her face, her phone dangling from her hand.

Mai, who’s sitting on the bench beside you, is the first to ask. “What happened, coach?”

Yuki sighs. “Busted her ACL.”

There’s a resounding chorus of winces and “fuck”s. There’s also a silently shared consensus of “thank god it wasn’t me.” It’s selfish, you all know that, but someone else’s injury is always just another bullet dodged for you.

“On the bright side, the doctors say she can make a full recovery,” Yuki tells you. “But that’ll take a while and it’ll leave us with an empty spot in singles.”

“Mika’s coming back, isn’t she?” you ask. “Her exchange program’s ending soon.”

Mai shakes her head. “Not soon enough,” she says. “We have our first real tournament a week after she comes back. She won’t have enough time to train.”

You turn to Yuki. “So what are we gonna do?”

She just grins. “You mean what are you gonna do?”

“What?”

“You’re playing singles.”

“What?”

“You played in high school, right?” Mai asks, prodding you with her foot to get your attention. “You’re probably our best shot right now.”

You let out a nervous laugh as everyone’s eyes fall on you. “I don’t know, guys,” you say. “I mean, you all saw me trip last time. I’ve been off my game.”

But Yuki’s already decided. She shrugs and places her phone in her pocket. “Then we lose,” she says, looking at you sternly, “and it’ll be your fault. So I suggest you bring your A game for the sake of the team.”

You swallow, trying to ignore the eyes that now rest of you, waiting for your oh-so-predictable answer. “Yes, coach.”

She nods and waves everyone off. “Get some rest, everyone,” she says. “You’ll need it.”

Everyone disperses, girls coming to pat you back and wish you luck. You know what they’re all thinking as their hands touch your skin. Thank god it wasn’t me.

“You’re so fucked,” Mai laughs once everyone has gone and you go to gather your things.

You shove her and roll your eyes. “Thanks for really backing me up there, partner,” you tell her, sarcasm dripping through your words. “‘You played in high school, right?’” you say as you attempt to mock her voice. “Such an ass.”

She wraps her arm around your shoulders and presses her head against yours. “You’ll be fine,” she says as she leads you to the locker room. “Besides, it’ll only be one tournament. The new girls are coming after the break too, so we’ll be just fine.”

You groan. “I hate you.”

“Whatever you say, partner.” She chuckles, leading you through the door. “You need a shower. You fucking stink.”

You push her head before sprinting forward. “I call the good shower!”

“Hey! You can’t do that!”

You sit in your car, engine off, window down as you stare at your phone. As soon as you left the sports complex, you found yourself overcome by a single thought: Sukuna.

The two of you haven’t spoken since you last saw each other. Since you… kissed. Granted, it’s only been a few days, but for the two of you, it feels like a lifetime. You don’t remember the last time you went this long without at least sending him a silly video or receiving a paragraph-long update from him describing a massive shit he’d just taken.

But even as you stare at your chat with him, you can’t bring yourself to send him anything.

You haven’t told anyone about the kiss. Not Maki, not Nobara, not even Kento, no matter how much you wanted to annoy him with random information about your life. For some reason, you can’t seem to let the thought slip through your lips, can’t even vocalize the fact that it happened. And that you don’t know why it’s bothering you so much. And that you don’t know why you’ve been plagued by the desire to have it happen again.

You tuck your phone back into your pocket and shake your head. It’ll work itself out, you think. Things between you and Sukuna always do anyway.

With a sigh, you turn your car on and drive back to your apartment.

As you park your car, you wonder if the elevator in your building—after a good few days of being out of service—has finally been repaired or if you need to climb up the three flights of stairs with your tired legs. The prospect of walking more than a few feet isn’t appealing at all.

You grab your bags from the backseat and get out of your car, following the familiar steps from the parking lot to the elevator.

And that’s when you see him.

You find that you can’t move. You can’t leave, you can’t run, you can’t hide. You just stand there, frozen, in complete and utter shock. How did he even know where to find you?

“Dad?”

The word feels foreign on your tongue, worn out of your vocabulary from disuse.

He stands before you with a smile, holding his arms out in the prospect of an embrace. “Sweetheart,” he says, the pet name passing through his tongue coated in sickly sweet honey. “It’s been too long.”

He leans forward to hug you, but you manage to step back, avoiding his touch. He frowns at that and lowers his arms. “You don’t look happy to see me.”

You cross your arms over your chest. “What are you doing here?”

“I can’t see my daughter now?” he asks, eyes narrowing. “Is that how it is between us?”

Your eyes shift away from him. “What are you doing here?” you ask again, quieter this time.

“I just wanted to see you,” he tells you in the most earnest tone a liar can muster. “And I wanted to tell you the good news.”

You scoff. Not once in your life has your father ever had good news for you. “The good news?”

He clasps his hands together and nods. “You have a baby brother.”

“What?” You gape at him. “What are you talking about?”

“Hisako gave birth,” he tells you happily. “Just a few weeks ago.”

“Hisako,” you repeat slowly, trying to place the name. Your eyes widen in realization. “Oh,” you say softly. “Is she the new one?”

He tuts. “Don’t call her that.”

You’re not quite sure what he expects from you at this point. Your father who, at nine, you learned had been habitually sleeping with women who were not your mother. Your father who, despite his penchant for infidelity, your mother could never quite bring herself to leave. Your father who, just a few months ago, you learned had gotten his most recent mistress pregnant and who decided it was only right to treat the whole thing like it was normal, like it was expected.

As he starts to talk about your new brother, your hand slips to your phone. It’s almost an instinct, pressing his name in your contacts. Second nature, searching for him when things are going wrong.

You don’t even have to look at your phone to know that Sukuna’s already answered your call, that he can hear every single part of this ludicrous conversation you’re having with the man who expects more than you will ever want to give him.

Just as you start to think that things can’t get any worse, your father drops the bomb. The real reason why he’s here in the first place.

“I want you to come home.”

You blink at him. “You want me to do what?”

“Come home,” he tells you. “Your mother can’t stand the baby and Hisako’s not exactly good at the whole child-rearing thing.”

“You want me to come home and leave college to take care of your kid?” you ask in disbelief. The anger hits you before you even realize it. “Do you know how fucking insane you sound?”

Your father doesn’t like that. He doesn’t like it at all. His lips twist into a snarl as he steps closer to you, grabbing your wrist when you try to back up.

“Don’t ever speak to me like that again,” he seethes. “You will come home because I’m telling you to. I have no idea how you got it in your head that you could just leave your family the way you did, but I’ve indulged your childish fantasies for long enough.”

You struggle against him, panic settling in as his grip on you tightens. “Dad—”

“You’re just like your mother, you know?” he says, venom coursing through his words. “Always so fucking stubborn.”

You look down at your wrist as it gets crushed in his hold. “You’re hurting me,” you say. “Please. Stop.”

“So stubborn, so—”

You barely even catch it, the moment that flashes between your father nearly breaking your wrist and him being pushed away. It’s a blur, really. It happens so quickly, so quietly, you have to wonder if it’s even happened at all.

“Respectfully, sir, back the fuck off.”

You look at the man standing in front of you, his back a sight you might even know better than that of your own hand.

“Leave,” Sukuna spits out before your father can even say a word. Even turned away from you, he keeps a protective hand on your shoulder. He squeezes as if to say, It’s okay. I got this.

Your father glares. “You,” he says. “You’re the brat who ruined my daughter. She was so good before she met you. Now she’s fucked in the head.”

“Is that why she’s been doing so great without you?” Sukuna shoots back. You can tell through his voice that he’s holding back. Your best friend’s never been one to shy away from violence, he’s only restraining himself for your sake. You may not love the man, but he is still your father, and Sukuna knows that means something to you.

“Leave,” Sukuna tells your father. “I won’t say it again.”

Your father snickers, looking past Sukuna at you. “I always figured you’d never survive on your own,” he says. “Just like your mother.”

“Sir, if you don’t fucking—”

“I’m leaving, brat,” your father tells your friend, backing up. “You can fucking have her.”

It’s quiet for a moment, the only sounds you can hear are your father’s footsteps retreating, disappearing. You and Sukuna stay in your places, motionless until the footsteps fade away completely.

You sniffle once and Sukuna is already turning and holding you to his chest, shushing you as you wipe tears from your eyes.

“It’s okay,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head. “Can I see your wrist?”

Carefully, you lift your arm and his hands come to cradle yours as he studies your skin, grimaces at the light bruises that are starting to form in the spot that your father held.

“Did he do anything else?” he asks gently.

You shake your head. “I’m sorry for calling you.”

“What? Fuck no.” He places a finger beneath your chin and guides you to look at him. “Don’t ever apologize for that. None of this is your fault.”

“I shouldn’t have left,” you tell him. “I should’ve stayed with my mom. She has to live with that asshole every day of her life.”

His eyes soften at that. Always putting everyone else before you. “She’s okay,” he says. “And you tried to get her to leave. She was the one who wouldn’t listen.”

He can tell from the look on your face that his answer doesn’t sate you, isn’t exactly what you wanted to hear, but he can also tell that you know it’s the truth. You can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved. You learned that lesson long ago.

“I’m sorry,” you say again and you already know Sukuna’s about to scold you for it, so you press a finger to his lips before he does. “For avoiding you these past few days. I wasn’t being fair.”

He cracks a smile and behind your finger says, “I was avoiding you too. I’m sorry.”

You pull your finger away and bury your face in his chest for a moment, breathing in the scent of his detergent, the brand you helped him pick out in freshman year that he’s used ever since. “You wanna come upstairs?”

“I wasn’t gonna leave you even if you asked,” he says, eyes crinkling as he grins.

notes. this chapter is A LOT but we’re really getting deeper into reader’s background and ofc sukuna saving the day is 🥵 anyway just wanted to mention that i really enjoy reading your comments and asks, i don’t get to reply to everything but i see it all and ily babes <3 glad you’re enjoying this series because i’m having so much fun writing it

[kentopedia]

˚☽˚｡⋆ shining like gunmetal

dazai x f!reader, 3.0k words

summary — dazai comes home late, covered in someone's blood

contents — pm reader & pm boss dazai, references to violence / torture lol, sfw !!, the plot is basically cleaning blood off dazai

notes — i thought this would help me get pm dazai out of my system, but i fear i may have to write another nsfw piece for that

Each turn of the clock became longer and longer as you watched the seconds tick down, signaling that another minute had passed. The sun had long since set; your dining room was illuminated only by candles, creating a romantic ambiance throughout the penthouse.

Across from you, an empty seat sat, its usual inhabitant absent. An array of food scattered across the table, far too much for just one person to eat. Perhaps, even, there would be leftovers for days after.

Your housekeeper, Izumi, set the last plate of hot food on the table, her eyes nervous as she flitted back to you, then to the spot where Dazai usually sat. While her usual duties did not include cooking, you’d recruited her that evening, hopeful that she could help you prepare all of Dazai’s favorite dishes. 

You'd just wanted to do something special for your beloved, and he wasn’t even there to enjoy it. 

Steam lingered on each of the platters, but it was quickly wafting away, evaporating into the cool air of the Yokohama evening. All of your hard work over the past few hours would seem insignificant if the Port Mafia's boss didn’t return before the meal cooled completely. 

You drummed your fingers against the table, trying hard not to give in to your annoyance. 

“He’s late.” You spoke the words to no one in particular, an observation that anyone could discern with their own two eyes. 

Still, you kept your gaze harsh on the empty seat, as if willing Dazai to materialize from thin air. 

The comment still seemed to shake Izumi from a trance, even if it had been nothing more than the obvious. She twisted her fingers together, flattening her top farther over her waist band. Although she was one of the only people in the mafia that saw the softer side of Dazai, the one he reserved just for you, she was still overwhelmingly intimidated by him. 

“I’m sorry, miss,” she said, even though you always reminded her that it was fine to address you by your name. “I can take it back into the kitchen and—”

You stopped her with a sigh, shaking your head before letting it drop into your hands. “No need. I’m sure he’ll be here soon,” you assured her, but it was already ten minutes past seven—the hour that Dazai had said he’d be back for dinner. 

Usually, you wouldn’t have minded. You knew that Dazai was busy, that the tasks piled onto him were unending and overwhelming. Even though you hated seeing him overwork himself, it was always alright. He never took his stress out on you and always showered you with affection upon his return from a long day. 

Tonight, though, he’d promised that he’d be there, right on time, for dinner. You agreed upon that hour beforehand, and he still hadn’t showed. 

Izumi looked at your disappointed expression, knowing how much the small moments with Dazai meant to you. You never doubted that you were the most important person in his life, and you never would. 

Despite that steadfast belief, you still ached when his work began to cut in on his time with you. 

“Give him a couple more minutes,” Izumi said, smiling as she squeezed your arm gently. She was just a few years older than you, but there was a motherly glint to her eyes when she regarded you, her affection just barely veiled. 

Over the past few years, you’d persuaded her to see you as more than just her employer, at the very least. There would always been a thin shield of professionalism between you, but now, you considered her something of a friend. 

You dispelled all your irritation on a steady exhale and did as she suggested, waiting five more minutes. The heat began to dissipate from the cooling food, the plates and bowls no longer hot to the touch. 

The time reached 7:15. Izumi returned from the kitchen again with a frown, wiping her hands on a cloth. “Is there anything you’d like me to do?” She asked, sympathetic to your spoiled night, her usually bright eyes dimming. 

You stood, the chair screeching as you pushed it away. Though it seemed like such a small issue compared to all the other dilemmas you’d faced with Dazai, the burning desire of tears began to make its way up your throat.

You shook your head, standing taller, trying to remind yourself that someone proud enough to stand next to Dazai wouldn’t cry about something so inconsequential.  

“I’ll take it to my room, if you don’t mind,” you said, and Izumi nodded, smiling at you, softly, but without the pity that she knew you hated. 

She made her way to your seat, to gather up a plate to bring to you in a moment. Though, she didn’t get far in her task, and you didn’t make it out of the room. Seconds later, Dazai was pushing open the door, his footsteps sharp in the otherwise quiet hall. 

You looked up at him, frowning, a complaint already parting your lips as you assessed his appearance. 

Dazai’s shirt was undone, his hair a mess, stands stuck to his forehead, creasing at unusual ends. He was covered in blood from head to toe, the deep color staining his crisp white top. It had splattered against his cheek, his suit, even on his shoes, creating an intimidating vision of gore. The bandages around his wrists had loosened, soaked a muddy brown from the oxidation. Dazai’s tie had also been discarded, the dark silk peeking out of his pocket. 

Despite the violence of his appearance, his eyes were soft as he headed to you, unbothered by anything else in the room. “I’m so sorry I’m late, my love,” he apologized profusely, his voice low and gentle, eyes crestfallen in a way that had you forgiving him on the spot.

Still, you pinned him with your gaze, letting him feel every second of those fifteen minutes you'd believed that he’d forgotten his promise. The distance between you felt cold, even when there was hardly any of it between you.

“You told me you’d be here,” you said with a frown. The food had continued to cool. All you’d wanted was to give him an ounce of kindness in his world of endless hurt.

“I know.” Bloodied, delicate fingers were on your elbow, barely grazing your skin as he attempted to ease you into him. “I really am sorry. I got caught up with something.”

You were no stranger to his definition of something.

Dazai began to lean in, hopeful that he could erase your worries with a kiss, but you held an arm out, keeping him away.

“Don’t kiss me with blood on your face,” you said, the bite only reaching the end of your sentence, even if it didn’t fully reflect your emotions. A desperate desire to be near him battled every move you made. 

“It was an apology kiss.” Dazai's bottom lip curled into a pout. 

You refused to be swayed by the vulnerability in his wide brown eyes. “I don’t want it.”

He glowered for a moment longer, trying to topple your pride. When he got nowhere, he gestured towards your seat, hoping you'd take your place once more.

“Fine,” he said dramatically. "I’ll pretend that didn’t hurt my feelings.” 

You wrinkled your brow, displeased by the insinuation that you would carry on as normal. 

Wearily, Dazai leaned against the chair, and waited. When you did nothing, he pushed it back in, eyeing you skeptically. “Do you not want to eat anymore?” He asked, frowning. It seemed he was not upset, but unsure of where you stood on the matter.

You made a face. “I can’t sit across the table from you and have a cheerful dinner conversation while you’ve got someone else’s blood coating your entire body.” 

Dazai looked down, as if only realizing for the first time that he was stained ruby red. “The food will get cold, darling.” 

“You should’ve been on time, then.” It came out more clipped than you meant it to, and Dazai just stared back, his expression terse as you communicated silently. 

Izumi, finally, made her presence known as she cleared her throat, directing both of your attentions back to her. “I can warm it,” she said, darting her eyes away when Dazai’s piercing gaze reached her. “If you’d like.” 

Dazai began to object, but you spoke over him, knowing his abrasive words would only upset her. Instead, you laced your fingers with his to drag him out of the dining room. “Thank you, Izumi. We’ll only be a minute.” 

You shuttled him into the bathroom, and Dazai remained uncharacteristically quiet, gauging your mood as you shut the door behind the two of you.

“Sit,” you said, perching him at the edge of the sink. Dazai blinked, but said nothing. His long legs stretched against the cabinets, feet reaching the floor, even as he rested his weight on the countertop.

You maneuvered around the bathroom, opening cabinets and shutting drawers, feeling Dazai's watchful eyes on you.

“You look beautiful,” he said, smiling, allowing his infatuation to consume him completely, now that you were alone. “As always. That dress looks particularly stunning on you, though. You should wear it more often.” He tried to lure you in by the waist, but you dodged him once more, letting him huff in annoyance. 

"Thank you," you said, barely above a whisper, and left him sitting in the bathroom alone.

Hastily, you returned to your bedroom, rummaging through his closet for a clean top. Though he had so many of the same styles, you settled on a silk, black button-up, one that would pair nicely with your own evening gown.

When you returned, Dazai was leaning against the mirror, eyes closed, the dirtied and discarded bandages ripped from his face.

Over the past few weeks, his hair had grown longer, curling around his jaw and over his eyebrows, thick and tangled from whatever damage he’d inflicted before coming home to you.

Yet, you softened at the sight of him so open, wishing you could take even an ounce of that stress off his shoulders. 

As he breathed, evenly and slowly, you ran a washcloth under the water, warming it. You could feel Dazai’s eyes on you as you hummed, busying yourself with the task at hand.

“I can’t tell if you’re actually mad at me or not,” he said, and though he forced out a laugh, the concern in his eyes was more real than he wanted you to believe. “I really am sorry.”

It was almost amusing that this was the man everyone in the city feared. When people looked at Dazai, it was never with affection, never with the deepest humanity within your own heart. Even when he’d always had so much love to give, just nowhere to put it until he'd met you.

Perhaps, in another universe, life had been kinder to him. 

You exhaled and relaxed, offering him the smallest of smiles. The wash cloth foamed with soap as you poured it, a fresh aroma of honey and vanilla fusing into the space between you. 

“I’m not mad, Osamu,” you said, and he visibly relaxed, hooking his ankles around yours while you stood between his thighs. “I was more disappointed than anything. I hate missing out on time with you.” You frowned and brushed the hair off his forehead, tucking longer strands behind his ears. “Will you take a break every once in a while?” 

Dazai melted under your soft touch, preening with a cheeky grin. “Of course I will.” He brushed his thumb over your cheeks, dark eyelashes fanning the sharp bones of his face as he stared, astonished by your care. “I’ve been busy this week, and I apologize. Just say the word, and I’m yours for a day, a week, a month.” He exhaled, unsteadily. “All you have to do is ask.” 

You smiled, and though you wouldn't ask for so much time with him, not when things were so hectic with the mafia, it was nice to know that you could.

Slowly, you ran the cloth over the splattered blood, wiping it off inch by inch. His skin tone returned to normal, the deep red stain erasing. 

“What happened this time?”

Dazai sighed, dropping his chin to his chest, releasing every ounce of cruelty from his being. It was so hard to reconcile the two sides of him. He was sweet to you, caring and gentle. But you’d seen him when he was out of your embrace, faced with an enemy, a subordinate that hadn’t followed rules. He so swiftly morphed into someone that was cruel, merciless, offering them a smile only in mockery. 

“Some idiot was leaking information to another group,” Dazai said, tracing patterns on your hips. “If he would’ve been smart, he would’ve realized he never had access to anything of substance. I don’t know why risking his position with us was worth some extra pocket money.”

You frowned. “It took you this long to figure out his plans?” It seemed impossible that anyone could have something to hold over Dazai.

He laughed darkly, no humor within in. “I had a few eyes on him, but I was waiting for some definitive proof. He’s been here for quite a while, and he questioned why he never promoted.”

Dazai rolled his eyes, never understanding how people could be so foolish, could let emotions rule their decisions over logic. 

You nodded, understanding as you wiped his lips clean, erasing all traces of blood from his pores. Once his skin was fresh, he leaned forward, capturing you in a kiss that nearly had you dropping the cloth back into the sink. 

Dazai pulled away, smoothly, even when you had been left breathless. “Don’t worry about it, my love.”

“The mafia is important to me too." You scrunched your features. “If something’s going on, I want to know.”

Dazai smiled lazily, leaning back onto the counter, the picture of nonchalance. “If I really thought it was worth getting worked up about, I’d tell you.” He curled a piece of your hair around his finger, playing with it idly. “Why? You think I don’t trust my favorite girl?” 

You stiffened, defensive, before releasing your shoulders once more, dropping your gaze to his chest. Slowly, you began to undo the buttons of his top, the threads so stained that it was beyond repair. “I don’t know, Osamu. You keep so many secrets. Sometimes I’m not sure.” 

Dazai was quiet, eyebrows raised as he assessed you. When you reached the fourth button of his top, he grabbed your wrist, forcing your attention back to him.

“I don’t keep secrets from you, sweetheart.” He tugged you closer, curling the other arm around your back, skirting between your shoulder blades. Dazai dipped his head, tenderly kissing your fragile collarbone, the touch so airy that it sent your heart racing. “You’re the only person I really trust. If I thought you actually wanted to know every gory detail about the torment I inflicted, then I’d tell you.” 

You breathed in, closing your eyes to steady yourself. It didn’t take much for Dazai to remind you of every reason you’d ever loved him.

“I don’t care about that,” you said as Dazai rested his forehead against your own, keeping his eyes on yours’ even when your gaze was pinned to his chest. He released his soft grip to let you continue your task, and you were swallowing, onto the fifth button. “It was just a passing comment.” 

“Maybe so, but I don’t ever want you to think that I’m hiding things from you,” he said, fiercely.

You shrugged. “I would understand if there were things you couldn’t tell me. It doesn’t upset me.” When the shirt finally became undone completely, you slid it off Dazai’s shoulders, wadding it up into a ball to discard. 

He straightened, replacing the dirtied white top with the darker, softer one. “I can tell you whatever I want.” He scoffed, sliding the black buttons through the holes. “I’m the boss.”

“I just assumed the boss would have highly classified information that had to be contained to a select group of individuals.” 

Dazai made a face at you, like your statement was completely ridiculous. He stood to his full height, tilting your chin up towards him with one long, slender finger.

“Well then, someone should’ve told you that the boss’s wife is never excluded from that group." Dazai smiled at the flush on your cheeks when you allowed yourself to indulge in his touch. “You are my equal. There is nothing in this world that’s more important to me than you. Nothing of mine that doesn’t belong to you as well.” 

Sometimes, you felt undeserving of his affection. It was hard to believe that the man who owned half the city would hand that power over to you willingly, if only you asked.

Though, that grain of doubt lingered in your mind was poison, and you would fight it for as long as Dazai loved you truly. Instead, you smiled, cupping his cheek before standing on your tiptoes to kiss his forehead. “Forgive me if I forget from time to time.” 

Dazai laughed and shook off your grip so he could sling an arm around your shoulder. He was still wearing the dirtied pants, but the blood had dried, and your stomach longed for the meal that you knew was waiting for you. You could let it slide, if only this one time.

“I’ll try to remind you more often,” he said, lips grazing your temple. “I really am sorry I was late for dinner, angel. It won't happen again.” 

You laced your hand with his own free one. The touch was backwards and awkward, your palm cupping the back of his knuckles. You just needed to be closer to him, to feel the touch of his warm skin and know that, for now, his time was only your own.

With a honeyed look, you whispered the words close to his ear, slow and seductive. “I’m sure you can find a way to make it up to me.”

[pinkyqil]

R is very very shy and a little awkward, a couple of years younger than Ingrid and not famous, they've been seeing each other for a couple of months and she's been to a couple of games supporting Ingrid. The fans and the media all try to know who she is, crossing her privacy ecc and start to say very mean things to her so she start to pull away cause she's sad and think that Ingrid can have someone much better but Ingrid confort her cause she only wants her

I want you and you only // Ingrid engen

You and Ingrid had been dating for a couple of months now despite the three year age gap you both had going on. She loved you loved her that all that matters.

Ingrid always wanted to come wacht a few of the games oblivious and to support her. but due to timid and shy personality she understands and didn't push your buttons about it anymore.

You being you not wanting to feel like you disappoint her started going to the machetes even though sometimes you felt overwhelmed.

A few fans started noticing you're interaction digging in to recorde any sweet moments they could catch and post it on various platforms. The media trying to see if you had any celebrity status.

Ingrid had noticed the sudden attraction you both got from the public and told you to keep it on the for your own behalf but you took that too heart thinking that she was pushing you away and didn't want people to know about you.

You continued visiting Ingrid and supporting the team which lead to more media abuse.like fans finding out your private account and send you hateful messages saying Ingrid deserves better than you targeting your looks weight and everything they could critique about you.

You stopped coming to the games and kept rescheduling dates with her where you bearly showed up.

Slowly you started wondering if you were good enough for her.you already got the memo from people you weren't good for her or anyone.

tonight you planned on breaking up with her she had invited you over and you couldn't ignore your girlfriend soon to be ex.

Ingrid on the other hand had been very worried about you. Especially when she saw how the past few days you had declined her she was very worried after seeing things being said about you.

Arriving at Ingrid places you felt really nervous you were about to break up with the woman you loved the most.

Taking a deep breath before knocking on her door.

The door had opened with a worried looking Ingrid.she had immediately pulled you into a hug and kisses all over you face.

Oh lord how we're you supposed to break up with her you thought.

"Baby I was worried you stopped answering my text the last few days-". She tried to finish but got cut of by you.

"Let break". You told her with a cold stone face.

"What why did I do anything wrong".

"No you did nothing wrong it me I'm the problem you deserve better than me". You told her.

"What do you mean you're amazing please tell me your aren't listening to what people say".

"It not only that Ingrid you pushed me away when I tried to be there for you".

"Baby no I didn't mean it that why I just said it so you don't feel pressured I love you please don't leave me. She told you with tears flowing from her face.

You couldn't believe yourself for believing all that you had an amazing woman in front of you why would you try to ruin it.

"I'm sorry baby I just don't understand why everyone just seems to have something to say about me". you told her now crying.

"I love you and you'll always be enough to me". she told you

"Love to too".you said before grabbing her face and kiss her.

Ingrid_engen&Yourusername

Love you always and forever liked by alexiaputellas,onabatlle,lucybronze and 20,66 others

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© PINKYQIL

A/n: hope you like this and it reaches your standardsfeedback are appreciated and feel free to send in more or just chat in

[2amriize]

can u do riize crying because they think you dont like them anymore after you see them with another girl and start to act distant.(like a situationship )

˚⟡˖ ࣪ riize crying when you act distant after seeing them with another girl

ᡣ𐭩 masterlist

genre angst

pairing riize x idol!reader

ᯓ★ SHOTARO

After seeing a girl touch Shotaro’s arm between classes, you couldn’t help but feel that the relationship you had with him wasn’t what you thought. These past few months, both of you had been very affectionate with each other, but you never officially formalized anything. Seeing how close he seemed with this other girl, you decided to distance yourself from him and started avoiding him in class.

One day after class, Shotaro approached you and asked if you could talk, to which you agreed. You both went to the end of one of the hallways, and as soon as you were alone, Shotaro started crying, which surprised you.

“Did I do something wrong, y/n…? I don’t understand why you’re acting like this.”

You explained why you had been behaving that way, and he looked at you, confused, shaking his head.

“She… she’s nobody, y/n. I only like you; I only want to be with you.”

ᯓ★ EUNSEOK

You had been flirting with Eunseok for a few weeks now, but your relationship still wasn’t official. One day, when you were hanging out with some friends, you saw Eunseok at the bus stop. You were immediately happy to see him and approached him to say hello. But as you got closer, you noticed he wasn’t alone—there was a girl beside him, gently stroking his arm. Your smile instantly faded, and you turned around. From that moment on, you didn’t respond to Eunseok’s messages for a few days, or you just gave him very short and curt replies.

You didn’t expect that, a few days later, on a night when it was pouring rain, Eunseok would show up at your door.

“Eunseok, what are you doing…?”

“Why?” Eunseok asked you seriously, before you noticed tears falling down his cheeks.

“What? Eunseok, why are you crying?”

“Because… it makes me angry, y/n, it makes me angry that you’ve found someone else.”

“Me? I haven’t found anyone else; you’re the one who’s with another girl…”

You both looked at each other in confusion. Seeing how he was shivering from the cold, you invited him in and then explained what had happened.

ᯓ★ SUNGCHAN

“I’m sorry, y/n, I don’t know if I did something wrong, but I’m sorry.”

Sungchan was standing in front of you, crying, while you looked at him in surprise. You had been talking to him for a few months. You knew how popular he was among girls, but he had sworn to you that he only had eyes for you. Even though you weren’t officially together yet, you couldn’t help but feel bad when you saw him walking with a girl near the university, so you decided to distance yourself from him little by little.

When Sungchan realized this, he showed up at your door, crying, not knowing why you were acting that way.

“You don’t know if you did something wrong? And what about that girl you were with the other day?” You replied in a cold tone, even though you couldn’t bear to see Sungchan crying so desperately.

“Huh…? I…” Realizing who you were talking about, Sungchan looked at you, shaking his head several times as he continued crying. “She’s the daughter of a friend of my mom’s, but I swear she’s no one, I swear, y/n…” You couldn’t stand seeing Sungchan cry like that, so you approached him to wipe his tears before hugging him tightly.

ᯓ★ WONBIN

You couldn’t believe what you were seeing. As you were walking down the academy’s halls, you saw inside a room Wonbin with another girl, who seemed to be very close to him. Even though you and Wonbin hadn’t confirmed your relationship, you couldn’t help but feel disappointed at seeing that, so you started being colder toward him.

A few days later, while you were practicing alone in a dance room, you heard the door open, and when you looked up, you found Wonbin standing silently at the door, watching you. You stopped the music and looked back at him, waiting for him to say something.

“Have you found someone better than me…?” He finally spoke in a trembling voice, lowering his head.

“What are you talking about, Wonbin?” You walked over to him, noticing that he had started crying, so you put your hands on his face, wiping away his tears. “Why are you saying that?”

“These past few days… you’ve been avoiding me… and I thought you had found another guy…”

You shook your head several times, explaining that you had distanced yourself because you saw him getting close to another girl. He began crying more, saying that she was just a girl who was obsessed with him, but that he only wanted to be with you.

ᯓ★ SEUNGHAN

You were so sure that Seunghan was going to ask you out soon. You were basically already a couple, just waiting for him to officially ask you out since he had told you he wanted to do it in a special way. Your heart basically shattered when you were on the bus passing by his house and saw him walking into his apartment with a girl. You simply couldn’t believe what you were seeing, so you decided to stop answering his messages.

You couldn’t avoid seeing him since you both worked in the same place, but you tried not to work at the same hours or just avoided him altogether until one day, you walked into the staff area and found him sitting on a bench, crying. Even though you were upset about seeing him with another girl, you still had feelings for him, so you didn’t hesitate for a second to approach him and ask what was wrong.

“I don’t know… I don’t know what I did wrong, y/n, I thought things were going well between us…”

“I did too, Seunghan, but… I saw you the other day. And I get that we’re not officially together, but I thought we were exclusive with each other, so…”

“What?” Seunghan interrupted you, looking confused. “What are you talking about?”

“I saw you walk into your house with a girl, Seunghan…” you whispered, looking down as you heard Seunghan sigh.

“y/n, look at me. That girl came to see the house because I’m selling it. I’m moving to an apartment closer to you, but it was supposed to be a surprise…”

ᯓ★ SOHEE

Sohee and you had been part of the same group of friends for many years, but it wasn’t until a few months ago that you both started showing interest in each other, beginning to hang out more alone. You were surprised to see him one day close to another girl at a café. You can’t deny that it hurt you a lot to see him meeting up with another girl alone, but at the same time, you knew that what you had wasn’t anything official yet, so you simply decided to start distancing yourself from him slowly—canceling plans, not being with him when you were with your friends, and not responding to his messages. Little by little, your relationship started becoming more uncomfortable because of this.

One day, when you all had gone to the beach with your friends, Sohee and you were left alone on the towels while everyone else went for a swim. You didn’t talk for minutes until you heard Sohee sobbing, making you look at him, worried.

“Sohee… is something wrong?”

“Did you ever like me?” he whispered in a trembling voice without looking at you.

“Why are you saying that? Of course I did…”

“Then why don’t you act the same way with me anymore?”

You explained that you had seen him with another girl and that even though you still cared about him, you didn’t want to interfere if he wanted to start a relationship with someone else since you weren’t officially together. Sohee, astonished, explained to you that the girl was a relative of his, which made you feel embarrassed for your reaction.

ᯓ★ ANTON

Since you saw how Anton was behaving with a girl from his class, who was very touchy with him, you decided to distance yourself from him. At least as much as you could, since it was difficult with both of you being in the same class. Plus, you were partners on a project that you had to submit at the end of the course, so you had to see him almost every week.

Before, you used to stay at his house after working on your project, watching movies together or just chatting, but after seeing him with the other girl, you decided to leave as soon as you finished the project. At first, you made excuses, like you were tired or had other plans, but Anton was starting to notice that you weren’t acting the same with him anymore.

One day, when you were at his house working on the project, Anton was very quiet, barely speaking. When you got up to leave, you felt Anton grab your wrist, and you turned around to find his tearful eyes looking at you. He couldn’t even speak, unable to find the words to apologize for whatever he thought he had done wrong. Seeing him like that, you couldn’t help but hug him as he buried his face in your chest.

“I don’t want you to stop loving me…” he whispered with a shaky breath.

Once he calmed down, you were able to talk about what had happened and why you had been acting that way, and he told you that you were the only one for him.

ᡣ𐭩 masterlist

taglist: @cherryishxo @gacktsa

[laaailuh]

Jealous 🕸️🕷️

pairing: earth 42!miles x black!reader

Summary: For the past few days, you have noticed a girl constantly trying to flirt with Miles at school. You become fed up.

warnings: light swearing, possessive y/n

a/n: I love jealous fics

“Y/n I'm telling you man, I’ve seen homegirl with at least three dudes this week. It's like a circulating routine for her.”

“Jada, they might just be her friends or sum.”

“Yeah right, friends that go to the left wing stairs to fuck? Nah, I don't think so.”

 You widened your eyes at your friend and then shook your head in disappointment “I swear to god your ass is too nosey sometimes bruh.”

As the conversation continued, you spotted Miles getting a few stuff from his locker as he usually did before fourth period. You gave him a small wave and smile, in which you received the same actions back.

You turned to face Jada once again “How do you even know they be doing that stuff under the stairs anyway?”

“I just d-......hold on, ain't that the same bitch from yesterday talking to your man AGAIN?”

As you tilted your head to see what she was talking about, you saw the same girl with pink braids, batting her eyes in a flirtatious way at Miles.

“Girl if you don't deal with her, I swear to god I will.” 

You got up from the bench you were sitting on and picked up your bag “Nah it's fine, i'll be back.”

“Yeah I could braid your hair if you want, I gotta little business that I do on the side” the girl said trying to touch Miles’s hair.

He moved away from her advances “Nah-”

“He already has someone to do that for him but thanks” you interrupted, giving the girl a fake ass smile.

You intertwined your boyfriend's hands with yours, trying to make it clear that he was off limits.

“I wasn’t even talking to you.” 

You scoffed “your funny if you think I'm not gonna get involved when someone is desperately trying to throw themselves at my boyfriend. If you think about it, It's sad actually, very sad. So I would appreciate it if you found another nigga that’s NOT in a relationship, to bother.”

Miles found this very attractive.

The girl rolled her eyes “Ight, whatever. He ain't even all that” she said, walking away.

You turned to face Miles “I wasn't gonna do anything but the bitch was really tryna test me.”

He smirked.

You raised one of your eyebrows "Watchu smiling about nigga."

He then leaned down to say something in your ear “Not even gonna front right now, im so turned on by you baby. Might have to get you jealous more often.”

You hit his arm playfully “Shut up.”

[nyx-is-missing]

Graceland too

Clarisse la rue x fem!reader (Athena's kid)

Sumarry: When a certain daughter of Athena felt unappreciated her whole life, someone was there to see her.

Warnings: Sad girl hours, shitty parenthood, hurt/comfort because im no monster and probably other things wich i forgot.

a/n: look who is back!

Demigod.

Half blood.

Half a goddess.

Half a human (?).

And yet, fully a disappointment.

When Athena sent me to my Dad's house, in a golden crib, dressed in pure white dress, glowing, how the myths would expect a demigod to be, then, and only right then i was a gift.

A piece o divine love, something to prove to him, till the end of his life, that at some point, he was good enough for a Goddess.

But days after, immediately, i was just a crying baby, hungry, with a busy father, without a mother, and that only made him remember that, that was it.

He wasnt good enough for her, she wasnt staying, she never even actually even considered, he would never have that kind of honour, only a crying baby he never expected.

I wasnt a gift anymore, it actually felt like i was a insult, everything about me started to enrage him.

And oh, how did he reminded me of that every single day of my existence.

When i got diagnosed with dyslexia all i've heard whas that Athena gave me up to him because i was defective, when i couldnt sit still during classes, and exploded with all the repression i suffered everyday, suddently i was a clock bomb, when my grades where great, i was never rewarded, it was "the least i could do, to make up for the shame that i was".

I was never loved, never wanted, never encouraged, at least not by him.

The very little love i've known in my life, i own to the people who felt pitty of me.

The teachers, the neighbours who have heard the insults, the stray animals who could sense sadness, the very old grandparents who never actually saw me more than twice a year, and the people who worked at a nerby library, who let me stay past closing time, leaving only with the cleaners.

I was 12 when he had enough and sent me to camp, literally the very day school was over.

I came home to my clothes packed and him waiting by the car keys.

Being in camp for the first time, was also the very first time in my life i have ever felt....normal.

Not good, not bad, not great, not terrible, i was one, and that was enough.

I spend that summer being quiet, i sat in the corner, i didnt spoke, i didnt interrupted, i didnt had any ideas, i wasnt good enough to do that, thats what i've been told my whole life, thats my true.

It took a whole new summer for Athena to claim me.

I have always wondered if she was fighting with herself, if she had any problems having to admit that she made a mistake, with me, or with him.

It didn't matter, for the first time i had brothers and sisters, who wanted me, who understood when i wasnt the best, who asked for my graded tests, to put up in the wall.

They understood when i was hard to crack, when i insisted in being quiet, when i wouldnt share my ideas, they understood it all.

I didn't.

Each and every new summer i spent there, all i could ask myself was:

Why could i not be great like all of them?

Why im still afraid?

Why i was still useless?

Im now sixteen and the same questions still were unanswered.

And today i felt worse than ever.

It was my birthday, and i havent got a single letter from him, nothing, nothing.

It felt like he was saying i wasnt worth anything again.

Earlier, i tried to pretend nothing was happening, smiling with my siblings, finally making plans for capture the flag, finally belonging like i promissed i would try to do that year.

My plan was used, it wasnt perfect, but it was used, and surprising myself and the other team, we won.

I could see the other team confused, and Clarisse cussing us to death.

Still i was so happy, for the first time in my life i showed myself, and i worked....partially.

The happiness of victory didnt last much in me, because i saw a new brother of mine almost bursting to tears, he was young and just got claimed a few days ago, he wasnt used to that, and he wasnt supose to get hurt, but the red that painted his arms said otherwise.

I couldnt stare at him without feeling like i failed again.

Why couldnt i be perfect for once?

I took him to infirmary and held his hand while he was getting his stiches, saying sorry all the time.

I tried thinking it was okay, people get hurt, move on.

I had diner, i took a bath, i tried to sleep, i couldnt.

The tears were falling down and i knew i wouldn't be quiet.

So i got up and walked to the cabin's porch, sitting on the last step and letting my head fall to my knees.

Why couldnt i be great?

Why couldnt i be in peace with myself?

Why couldnt my mom bless me?

Why couldnt my dad love me?

Why did he had to be so mean?

I was a kid for fucks sake.

"Are you okay?" I heard someone saying, that made me freeze, that voice was not from any of my sisters, was i crying so hard i woke up someone from other cabin?

"I- yes, sorry i didn't knew i was crying so hard to wake people from other cabins, im sorry"

"You didn't, i was sneaking out to train some more, and saw you, our cabins face each other"

That was...Clarisse?

I wiped my tears and look up, she was staring at me with a almost worried look

"Clarisse?"

"Yes, why are you crying?"

She sat down by my side, dropping a sword in the grass.

"Its nothing really, im fine, you dont need to bothe-"

"No, cut the crap" she stopped me mid sentence "no one ever weeps in the middle of the night out of happiness, you are not fine and im not letting you lie OR leave until you tell me what it is"

We stare at each other, and ill need to thank the night light being bad because i probably look like crap right now, im sure my eyes are red, my nose too, im probably with a very swollen face and id bet all the dracmas i own that my hair its no better than a nest of birds.

"Go on...tell me"

I layed myself in the stairs, looking at the sky, trying to think of a way to tell everything, without sounding crazy

"I dont deserve to be here, Clarisse."

"Here..where?"

"This cabin, i dont deserve to be called daughter of the goddess of wisdom, i dont deserve being here with them, my siblings they are great, more than good, great, they will do great things with themselfs, amazing writers, architects, brilliant musicians, historians, why am i here? Im not even good, why im with the great?"

"Wait wait wait" she made me sit down again and look at her "not even good? What are you talking about? Wasnt the strategy in the last capture the flag yours? Yall won, and if somebody asks me later i've never said this but that was good, some really good strategy, i was almost thinking of asking chiron to switch you teams, you were great, more than that, and now you're here telling me you are not egen good? Are you on drugs?"

"Clarisse you dont need to pretend you care that much, and my plan wasnt all that, my brother got hurt, that wasnt supose to happen, i failed him, if i was good enough he wouldnt even be there"

She had a very confused look on her face, like she really did not knew what i was talking about.

"You're not talking about the little boy you took to the infirmary and that small cut in his forearm are you? Cause that boy was far from almost dying like you are making it sound like-" she looked at my eyes, i didnt needed a mirror to have sure how i was, i've seen myself like that too much to count, everytime my dad said i wasnt good enough, sad, lifeless.

"I failed again Clarisse, im not good enough to be here, im useless, worthless"

She looked at me and did the last thing i tought she would, Clarisse hugged me.

"Dont say that, c'mon, worthless? I've seen you fight, i've seen your plans, you dont talk much but i've heard your ideas, you are far from being useless or worthless, who the fuck told you that?"

"My f- you heard me?" I looked at her, only to see a look i couldnt distinguish "what do you mean?"

She looked at her own feet, then at her sword, reflecting the moonlight.

"You really dont know?" She looks at me "i- well, i've heard you, the same way i see you everyday, thats how i know you like morning walks, sweet green grapes, baked goods...how i know you are probably the only child of Athena who has never read "the art of war", that you walk without looking at peoples faces....its weird, i've seen you so much throughout this years and it feels like this is the first time you are actually seeing me"

"But i've saw you before-"

"Thats not what i was saying, you looked at me many times, but did you ever saw me until today?"

I looked at her blinking, and after a moment of silent i said "you like dark chocolate, and lemon flavoured soda, and sneaking out to train when the harpies take their breaks, by the way you missed that, and you always ask for double the quantity of food you eat, so when you burn it you still can eat enough, by the way i stole that idea-"

She is smilling, big, really big, i think i am too.

Of course i saw Clarisse, who wouldnt, she was strong, brave, beautiful, to me was a wonder she didnt had people running to get her attention.

She got closer to me "does that mean i can-" i stopped her mid sentence again

"Maybe..."

"Im going to make you forget that "im not good enough" nonsense, belive me"

She is smilling while kissing me, and i am too.

[randombush3]

audentes fortuna iuvat

alexia putellas x reader

part one, part two

words: 9541

summary: alexia and you as posh + becks III

content warnings: there’s some (a lot of) cheating + postpartum depression. it’s more frustrating than sad though x

notes: this covers 2019-22(ish). It was SUPPOSED to be the last part. It’s not anymore. I’m gonna do a fourth to deal w the mess I have created in a more self-indulgent amount of words than the 3k i had planned. That will probably have smut in it 😛

“Y/n left me.” 

The limousine you are in is completely black, save for the white lines being measured out right next to you. 

“What?” says Jenni. 

“She left me,” Alexia says once more. The hotel room is a non-committal beige. They lie in the same bed, the older of the two welcoming her lost teammate wordlessly and without judgement. Tomorrow, they will return to Barcelona, losers yet another time. “She moved back to london. She took Nico.” 

“She can’t just take Nico, can she?” 

“Y/n, how’s Nico?” Your stomach turns, but whether that is provoked by the thought of the baby boy you left crying in your father’s arms or by the white powder outlining the rim of the woman’s nostrils, you don’t know. 

Your son’s creasing eyes, red face, and grabbing hands appear in front of you. He screams as you walk away. He doesn’t understand why he has not smelt Alexia in weeks, and he misses the comfort of home. 

Everyone waits for your answer. No one comments on the bags under your eyes. “He's fine,” you say with a smile. “He loves it here.”

“I think she is depressed,” Alexia tells Jenni, comforted by the arms wrapped around her waist, holding her close and tightly and reminding her that she is not as alone as you have made her feel. “She told me that she couldn’t be in Barcelona anymore, but she said that without giving me a chance to come with her. Her bags were packed before the conversation started — she might as well have called me from the plane.” 

“Are you angry at her?” 

“Yes.” 

Alexia thinks about it. 

“No.”

“No,” you say when they point at your very own line. The drug holds a place of both familiarity and hatred in your heart. The fine, white powder reminds you of greatness – of being the most successful girl group in the UK – but, also, of hospital visits. It’s not a past addiction, but it could have been. You light a cigarette instead, though it will make the vehicle reek. “I can't. I have a son.” 

“You’re not a saint.” They boo. “You’re allowed to have fun. I saw you the other day, and you had no qualms with any drugs then.” 

“No, I'm not a saint,” you reply. You regret that night — however little you remember. “But I am a mother.” 

“Is it that thing? Postpartum?” Jenni asks. “The baby blues are really shitty, I've heard, but they’re not supposed to cripple you. Maybe the relationship has other issues.” 

“I'm not angry at her, Jenni,” Alexia repeats. “I miss Nico. He looks like her. He has started to look a lot more like her now.”

“He would definitely suit those sparkly bralettes.” Jenni giggles at the thought. 

With an understandable lack of good humour, Alexia ponders something more realistic. “He would suit a Barcelona kit.” 

“He would be made for it. You are his mother.” 

“I'm not angry at her,” Alexia says for the third time, just to make herself believe it. Just to carve those words into her bones and tell herself that it isn’t anger, what she’s feeling. “I don't want to be angry at her. I think I'm going to see if I can move to arsenal.” 

“Don’t you dare.” 

“Well, I'm not angry at her.” 

“Alexia.” Jenni cups her cheek tenderly. “Ale.” She knows she shouldn’t. She’s not angry at you, and so there is no punishment needed. Not that… Not that kissing Jenni would ever be utilised as a weapon to get back at you. Or that she’d actually kiss her. 

“Daddy, I can't get him tonight. No, I don't want to stay over. Daddy, I…” You hate the baby. You hate yourself. You hate that Spain hasn’t done well, and that your fiancée is disappointed that nothing is how it was supposed to be. Alexia is probably lying awake in bed, missing her son, and missing you. You expect one of her teammates to call you soon, and tell her that she needs you. You’re her person. “I'm going to get some sleep and I'll pick him up tomorrow. Probably around lunchtime, okay?” 

“Alexia, bésame.” 

…

You had passively bought your house. It’s how property sale works when you’re a celebrity. People are always willing to do things for you if you know the price, and it never hurts to use your name to add a new flashy level to whatever stupid business they are running. It’s a mutual exploitation, to some extent. 

Highgate is beautiful. The house is beautiful. 

The reception room, with its high, decorated ceilings, is your favourite place to numbly take in the twisted jigsaw of your life when Nico has cried himself to sleep. The nursery is on the first floor. He is near enough for safety, but at a distance that allows you to regret all the mistakes you have made.

You watch him roll over onto his stomach, eyes trained on the baby monitor though your fingers graze the ivory keys of your new piano, attempting to compose something worthwhile. At this rate, your solo career is going to fail just like your relationship seems to be doing. 

Yesterday, while Alexia seemingly disappeared from the face of the Earth, you came out. It was an off-hand comment during the Graham Norton Show. A quick ‘my fiancée named him. She’s from Barcelona’ was all it took. You hope Alexia, wherever she may be, has heard about it. Jenni would have told her. You trust Jenni to be somewhat on your side because she always has been. 

The doorbell rings just as you sniffle, wiping away the tear that slips down your cheek. “Don’t be pathetic,” you mutter to yourself. “You didn’t pay five million pounds to sit here and cry. You chose to come back home.” 

Being in England – colder, drearier, lonelier England – has made you realise that your decision was not the right one. Or maybe it was. It has proven that you are as terrible a mother as you convinced yourself you were back in Barcelona, and it has also shoved the cavity Alexia leaves in your life when you refuse her entry right down your throat in the form of a constant lump and a dull stabbing in your chest whenever you think about anything past whether Nico has had anything to eat. You can’t even feed him properly, despite it being supposedly in your nature. You buy formula from the nearest Waitrose. 

The doorbell rings again. 

The insistence is not uncommon seeing as you are, at the minute, the English press’s number one target. You open the CCTV app on your phone so that you can decide whether or not to ignore the potential stalker, and your heart rate spikes when you see the hooded figure standing on the porch. Back to the door, it is not possible to determine the threat. A well-buried maternal instinct kicks in for once, and you ensure that Nico is still peacefully out cold before getting up to answer the door with the poker from the Victorian fireplace firmly in your grip. Just in case. 

You are a mother, in whatever capacity you have decided that role looks like, and so you undo the three latches on the door with brave, protective fingers. The baby monitor’s volume has increased, and the fuzz of white noise is audible if Nico were to make a sound. The vague repulsion at the idea of it all is only an aftertaste in your silent prayer for the hooded figure to not want to kill you. Some sick part of your brain imagines Nico dead, as well. It tortures you. 

The poker in your other hand, for the most fleeting of moments, is almost plunged into your chest. The imaginary, self-inflicted wound makes you think of the blood and how the baby upstairs would wail until someone found him. The grimace of annoyance on your lips is nothing new, but you have no more time to torment yourself because the doorbell is pressed again, rather impatiently. 

You open the door and the hooded figure is right in front of you. “He’s asleep,” you say, the Spanish foreign on your tongue. 

Alexia shrugs, and her hood falls down, revealing the brunette tendrils that hang from her slowly sinking bun. “I came for you,” she replies, so earnestly that it is as if nothing ever happened: past pain forgotten and replaced by sprouting memories of soft kisses and mornings where leaving was too hard to do. Some of them, you think, are not real. They don’t seem to be. Your blank stare is unsettling. You almost don’t believe her. “Can we talk?” she tries, and you notice the team-issued duffle on the tiled floor she is standing on. Then, from the pocket of her hoodie, she extracts a pastry box. The plastic window is filled with circles of different colours, and she holds out the macaroons to you as if to bribe her way into a home in which she is unsure she belongs to.

Stepping aside, leaning the poker against the wall by the door, you scratch at the bare skin of your neck. Alexia, while sweeping an arm down to collect her bag, fixes her gaze onto the ring you are wearing, and the diamond glistens with hope that this can all be fixed. “Would you like to come inside?” 

She swallows the whine of anguish that tears her heart open at the idea that this might never be her house to live in, too, and she follows you dutifully as you lead her through hallways far more luxurious than the flat in Barcelona could ever be. This is what you left her for – the person you are, no longer in worn clothing with messy hair, is quite the opposite of the woman with her back to her moments before she had to focus on football. The necklace draped on your sharpened collarbones is new, and she does not dare believe what she has been hearing is true. Yes, there are pictures, but she trusts you. She will always trust you. 

“Have a seat,” you say, gesturing to the wooden dining table. It is clean enough for her to determine that it is unused. Alexia places the macaroons in front of her, and aches at how you sit at the opposite end. 

“I…”

“I thought you were going to give me all the time that I needed.” It is a statement of distance, as if your location is not enough. 

Alexia, eyes widening at how unwelcome she suddenly feels, needs only to remind herself of the impending date of the wedding. It is beginning to loom uncomfortably, with the excitement of getting married drained out like a low tide on a deserted beach. “We have two weeks. If it isn’t going to happen, then you should tell me now. We have to give everyone notice so that they can cancel their flights.” Your silence spurs her on. “You will need to contact the wedding planner, because you refused to let me have a hand in any of it so I don’t even have their number. I’m sorry that you won’t be able to wear your dress. Vivienne Westwood is a big thing for you, I know. I’m sorry that it’s inconvenient.” 

“But Alexia,” you whisper, “I don’t not want to get married.” 

Her eyebrows furrow, head tilted slightly to the left. “I know. That is why I am saying this.” 

Your voice grows louder. “No, no. Sorry, that wasn’t the easiest thing to understand.” Across the dining table, your love that has faltered, that has hesitated and been reconsidered and been stamped down over the past month, extends towards her: its final destination, always and forever. Alexia feels it grab her by the throat, wrenching the words from her before she can even formulate a thought in response, and her body is so drawn to you, in such a powerful fashion, that she pushes her chair out from the table with a grating scrape and is stepping towards you with a finality that makes her wonder if she’ll ever leave your side. 

As she approaches, the idea that she is here becomes a little too real. You have played with the fantasy of it, of course, but the tenderness in her usually fierce eyes does not match the anger you had expected, and, in the most feeble fashion, you have never felt more apologetic in your life. 

“I’m so sorry,” you begin to say. Tears stream down your face with freed anguish, and the words are so simple yet they bear the weight of your entire soul. “I’m so sorry, darling. I made a mistake, and I have been met with the most crushing of realisations: I can’t do this without you, Alexia.” I still want to marry you, Alexia. 

The room seems to close in on your despair, attempting to bottle it, almost, and keep you trapped underneath a haze of emotions you don’t quite know how to sort through. “I… I’m beginning to hate him.” The confession hangs heavy over Alexia’s bowed head as she stands frozen in place, stuck in her journey towards you but unable to arrive. “I’m acutely aware of how cruel it is,” you continue, this next admission being what agonises you the most. It floods the room with guilt, and your voice trembles with self-condemnation that reigns harsher than any other voice in your head. 

“It’s ridiculous. I’m evil and I’m wrong, and I just feel like it is inherently in my nature to be like this, as though some fault has been built into me with warning signs we evidently ignored.” You struggle to breathe. “I wish I could take back the day we decided to have him,” you confess, your voice barely above a whisper, lips doused in tears, skin searing with shame when Alexia cups your cheek with a strong, calloused hand. “He should not have to be stuck with me as a mother.” 

Your chest heaves, and you are finished. You have never verbalised it before now, and it is impossible to decide whether it has helped remove the lead lining of your heart where it has been bolstered against your will. Her other hand steadily rises to your face, but then, with only a second of hesitation, she is pulling you upwards and enveloping you in her embrace. You feel a little bit closer to her. “Mi amor,” Alexia murmurs, tone cracked with sorrow and regret. “Lo siento mucho. Desearía haber sabido, desearía haber estado allí para ti.” 

Gently, she tilts your face upwards to meet her gaze. “You are not evil and no estás equivocada. Estoy aquí ahora, y no te dejaré enfrentar esto sola nunca más.” You collapse into her. “I’m here, cariño, and I am not going anywhere.”

The sentiment is wonderful, and Alexia makes good on her word. 

When Nico begins to cry, the sound piercing through your choked sobs, Alexia realises she has missed all of her life with you. Being separated and being apart due to work, she now knows, are two excruciatingly different things. The whiny wails from upstairs visibly jar you, though you pull away from Alexia to attend to him. “I will do it,” she declares, though her firmness is not mean. “Sit down. Eat the macaroons – they’re… ‘to die for’?” You nod with instinctive encouragement. “Sí. They’re to die for. Try. Jenni says that the pink ones are the best.” 

“Jenni picked them out?” you ask with a briefly regained humour, eyebrows raising. “Had to get your friend to choose your apology gift?” In truth, neither of you know what Alexia would be apologising for, but Nico’s crying grows more incessant and Alexia is climbing the carpeted staircase before the topic can be discussed. 

Alexia reaches her son with tears brimming in her eyes. The failure of Spain at the World Cup is amplified by the idea that she has disappointed him, though he does not yet possess the tools to pledge his allegiance to her country. In fact, Nico has been sleeping in Manchester United attire (your father has been his primary carer of late, and he does not charge you money, so the price is obviously Alexia’s sanity). She is more than glad to smell his nappy, and delighted about the opportunity to change him into something less hideous. 

“Mama loves you so much,” she tells him as she manoeuvres his chubby legs into a plain, inoffensive onesie. “I promise, petit. I am going to help her, okay? And we are going to get through this together.” Alexia forgets about the taste of Jenni’s lips and the heat between them. “Mama just doesn’t see the direction she is going in. It is like her eyes are covered, and she is telling herself that she is walking down the wrong path, but this is not true. You are the most special thing in the world to us. You are the sunrise, the sunset, and the hours of the day.” 

She pauses to stand him up on his tiny feet, hands hoisted underneath his armpits. He is heavier than when she last held him, but she is stronger than before, too. Women’s football is growing, along with her muscles. Nico babbles out a vague reply, but Alexia hears what he is trying to say. “I agree. We’ll be alright.” And, with all her heart, it rings true. 

…

The following day, she calls the doctor for you, script written out on a piece of paper in front of her, translated perfectly so that her concern does not waver the information she needs to tell the receptionist. The clinic is famous and discreet, and they are quick to prescribe you antidepressants before the week draws to a close. You won’t be able to drink at your wedding, and everyone might think you are pregnant again, but Alexia reassures you that it will be worth it. 

Wrapped up in your own bubble, the three of you enjoy London in a way that isn’t possible in Barcelona. 

Here, Alexia has no commitment to football. There are no training sessions she must rush off to, there are no teammates to pry, and no one else to interfere with your private little routine. You quite like it, and she does too. It is only temporary, before you fly out to Menorca and hand Nico off to Eli in order to enjoy your respective bachelorette parties and then, in exactly seven days, your wedding itself. 

“You’re still smoking,” Alexia says disapprovingly, the sleep in her voice enough to make you feel a pang of guilt. It’s late at night when Nico has finally been soothed from his aching gums, and she has been able to climb back into bed expecting to find you asleep already. “Why are you awake?” 

“I’m still smoking,” you tell her. She sighs at the way you parrot her words, but presses an affectionate kiss to the junction of your neck and shoulders despite the lingering smell of cigarettes. “If I can’t drink, I’m going to smoke. This is Hollywood.” 

“This is Highgate.” Her accent curls around the name with something a little too foreign for her to ever consider this place home. “Why are you awake?” she repeats. 

You look down at the open notebook in your lap, the pages either blank or full of crossed-out lyrics. “He was so loud, but I can’t seem to write anything either so, really, it has been quite redundant.”

“I had to get a glass full of ice and hold it to my fingers so that I could help him. I could have lost some very important assets, but it seemed to do the trick.” He’s teething. You’re telling yourself that the antidepressants are little pills of miracle, and have kicked in already. “Feel.” She presses two freezing fingers to your cheek, and you gasp, flinching away from her. 

“There’s a teething ring downstairs, you know,” you tell her. She shrugs. Maybe it isn’t clean. “Don’t give yourself frostbite. I happen to quite like your fingers.” 

Alexia’s smirk is beyond suggestive, and her lips hit your neck once more with an entirely different heat to them. “Yeah?” You push her head away. “I bet it would feel good. Nice and cold.” 

“You’re delirious.” 

She continues to kiss you. “I don’t know what that means,” she mumbles into your neck, until her lips reach your face and she is near climbing into your lap – notebook long pushed onto the floor. “Dímelo en español.” 

“No lo sé.” 

“Ah. Una palabra inteligente.” 

“Claro.” 

She laughs into the kiss she presses against your lips. She never has never felt like this with anyone else. Never this relaxed, or loved, or safe. “Me vas a matar con tu inteligencia y voy a sentirme estúpida para siempre.” 

“I love you,” you state softly. “I love every part of you.” Alexia, in that moment, decides to never do what she did with Jenni again, and to never break your heart by informing you of her betrayal. 

…

You’re married. 

You’re married to Alexia, a woman who bears the beauty of a goddess and the strength and will of someone who could capture the sun and tame the fire that rages on its surface. 

You admire her as she sleeps so peacefully beside you, tanned skin warmed by the sunlight streaming in through the large windows of the hotel room. Later, you will get on the ferry, go back to Barcelona, and then fly to Capri for three days alone before Alexia’s preseason starts. Aside from a few meetings with Dave, you theoretically aren’t swamped with anything. You’ll be joining her in her city with Nico with a bit more permanence than last time. 

Alexia buries her face in the covers, crawling into your open arms the minute the sunlight rouses her. “Everything is sore,” she groans, her bare skin slightly sticking to yours, the sweat from last night not yet gone. 

“What happened to ‘mi vida, one more time won’t hurt’?” you tease, impersonating her heavy accent over your English with enough drama to get her to elicit another grumble. This time, it’s something about being bullied. “Darling, we have to get up. We’re having breakfast with our parents, and apparently Nico has been upset that we got a night to ourselves.” 

“Pobrecito,” she replies with a newfound level of English sarcasm. She spent the wedding reception avoiding the dance floor, engaged in a long conversation with your father. The topics spanned over most areas of life, and briefly touched upon how you are doing now. Alexia, with much pleasure, confirmed the improvement, however miniscule it has been. She is very proud of you, and he is too. “I only want one thing for breakfast.” 

Her hands begin to roam, the band of her wedding ring hitting your pubic bone. “Mi vida, one more time won’t hurt,” she mocks you from before but in her sexier, Spanish husk, sucking at your collarbone, straddling your waist.

You replace your near moan with a thoughtful hum. “I really want pancakes. Do you think they’ll make me some?”

Downstairs, where it is brighter and impossible to conceal the hickeys on both of your necks, you greet your parents, brother, Anya, and Gio. Alexia’s mother, her sister, and Jenni are sitting at the table, too. Your baby is pretending he isn’t teething, and grinning like an angel. 

“How’s married life?” Anya asks as you take a seat opposite her, Alexia to your right. The table has a gradient of bilingualism, but Gio discovered that she picks up Spanish quite easily considering she can already speak one romance language. “We’ve already found, like, four articles talking about it.” 

“How?” you ask, but you are not offended. 

Gio shrugs. “Drones, I guess. Nothing bad, though. Some speculation about the other bride – if the article does mention that. Most talk is on the dress.” It was a bloody good dress. “And I suspect that there’ll be a juicy little question about who was your Maid of Honour.” 

“Don’t be salty,” you tell her. The MOH issue was sorted out years ago – perhaps 2015 – when you binged Friends together despite having watched it thousands of times before. Anya has been yours, Gio will be hers, and you will be Gio’s. And they say trios never work. 

“I left Mia with her dad for this.” 

“You shouldn’t have had a baby with a man-slag,” Anya says with a snort, enjoying her second mimosa and Gio’s grimace at the idea of her daughter having to put up with her father’s revolving door of one-night-stands. “You’re one to make terrible decisions. At least our girl over here’s married someone who looks at her like she’s hung the moon.” 

Alexia turns to you with a smile, as if on cue, with Nico in her lap. You glance at his rounded cheeks and shining eyes, looking back up at your friends as though to check they are still there. Alexia leans forwards so that she can whisper in your ear. “Te amo. Nico, también. Mi familia es perfecta.” 

…

Returning to Barcelona comes with one negotiated condition on your part. You buy a bigger apartment, where there is space for an office and extra bedrooms. Alexia says her teammates will be taking the piss out of her grand new place the minute she sees it, but she is more than content to contribute to the finances with her new-and-improved salary for this season. “It’s weird to think that I’m from Mollet,” murmurs Alexia, standing in the middle of the large lounge area, surrounded by boxes. Most are from your old flat, but a few have been flown in from London. Alexia wanted you to have your Grammy with you. “This place is so fancy.” 

“It’s half of what the men’s team get,” you remind her, holding Nico with care as he gnaws away on a frozen carrot. His saliva drips onto you, but the antidepressants are working, and the therapy has been effective enough for you to start taking childcare in turns. (You had tried to previously, but Alexia wanted you to focus on yourself, knowing that things will change for all of you once the season started.) “Hey.” You place your hand on her shoulder. She tickles Nico’s chin. “We deserve this. You deserve this. Why don’t you host one of your team’s dinners? I’ll take Nico round to your mum’s – God knows she’d love to shove some food down my throat, too.” 

She shakes her head, strands of brown unstraightened due to the stress of the move and falling out of her bun with a determination to defy her hair bobble. “They would kill me if I did it without you. They’re all far too grateful that you invited Taylor Swift to our wedding.” 

“She’s a friend.” If you hadn’t been distracted by various other happenings that night, you’d have clocked that Alexia’s side of the guests were completely up to their ears in celebrities they’d never expected to meet. “Okay, so do you want me to stay here?” 

“I always want you to stay here,” she answers. 

“Not what I meant.” 

“I won’t take it back.” 

Nico babbles an incoherent yet cutely Spanish-y noise, though his words are getting closer to being said at the old age of eight months. Then, suddenly, something in him clicks. “Mama,” he squeals, his little fist scrunching up the fabric of your t-shirt. “Mamama.”

“Nicolau!” Alexia replies with just as much enthusiasm, cupping his cheeks. She kisses his nose, and then his forehead, and then his chubby knees and socked feet. “Nicolau, sí, la mama et té a las mans! Bon noi, el meu bon i intel·ligent noi.” 

“Does that count?” 

“Mama,” Nico repeats, tugging your earlobe. “Mama. Mama.” It is easy to forget about the (lessening) resentment you harbour when he speaks. Alexia gets him to say it as many times as she can before he goes back to his carrot, but, even then, the two of you stay in that spot, marvelling at your creation. 

Slowly, she turns around in a circle, absorbing the plain walls and towers of boxes. “This is going to be good. Life is going to be good,” you declare with such a firmness that it has to be true. “Darling, let’s get to unpacking and then we can think about a date for this dinner party.” 

“We are going to plan the party?” She raises her eyebrows at you. “Is this party going to start at five o’clock?” 

“Not all of us shit yellow and red.” (In a national sense – you’d have haemorrhoids for United any day of the week.)

Alexia takes Nico off you, in a show of cultural dominance. You’re actually outnumbered, considering he isn’t a British Citizen, and though he shares no DNA with your wife, he has inherited the same ability to narrow his eyes just enough to serve absolute cunt whenever he so pleases. If you weren’t feeling so ganged up on, you’d be a little impressed. “Nico y yo vamos a hacer croquetas de jamón. Adiós.” 

“Darling, the kitchen isn’t–” But you cut yourself off, deciding that she can discover that on her own, along with the criminally empty fridge. You don’t hide your smugness at all when she finds you in your almost-finished bedroom, wearing a look of utter disappointment and mumbling out a heartbroken request for a food delivery as soon as possible. 

…

November marks three years of being together and, also, four weeks of having Alexia’s ‘DNA’ – a pomeranian called Nala, whose Instagram account is run by her favourite parent after you called it silly and told your wife you’d much rather attend to your own seventeen million followers. 

Towards the end of the month, after a well-spent morning and then a family outing to Barcelona Zoo, Alexia meets Jenni Hermoso in a restaurant in what Jenni calls ‘your new rich-people neighbourhood’ in her text to Alexia.

Alexia, really and truly, is happy to have her best friend back in Barcelona. She missed her last year, when Jenni had returned to Atleti, and that separation maybe made what happened the night Spain was knocked out of the World Cup just that bit more understandable. “You’re a Culer, no matter how hard you try to fight it,” Alexia had said when she had climbed back into her own bed, not wanting to fall asleep in Jenni’s arms. “It was terrible to not have Y/n or you.” 

You and Jenni: Alexia’s people. 

“How’s your wife?” Jenni asks with a grin, two glasses of wine into a pleasant evening at an expensive restaurant. “You’ve left her with Nico, so something must be working.” 

In truth, you have been determined to get better. There were articles released not long after the photos of your wedding were circulated, and those speculated a lot about how you are finding motherhood. The baby pictured, captured by long-range lenses and invasive drones, was the world’s first glimpse at what Nico Putellas L/n looks like, and reminded many of them that you had a child to care for when in London, yet were frequently spotted at nightclubs and parties. You rise to most challenges, however, and find it a lot easier to adapt to weekly therapy sessions and pills every morning when you have a wrongful image to disprove. 

“It’s as if it never happened,” Alexia says, both with pride and surprise. “She now seeks to spend time with him. She takes him with her to the recording studio – the album’s coming along well.” It’s your first on your own. Nico plays with one mixing desk, while Dave (flown in from London with the promise that the Barcelona sun will do wonders for his wife’s misery) plays with another. “And… Jenni, we’ve been talking. The clinic that we used for Nico asked us if we wanted to reserve sperm when we first had him, and now they have called asking if now is a good time. I think… I think that she is really considering it. She told me yesterday that her therapist wants me to sit in on the next session, so we can go over how we can make this time different.” 

Jenni frowns, which is not what the woman opposite her had expected at all. “Why are you two having more children? You’re only twenty-five, Ale. Isn’t this going to affect your career?” 

“The men do it all the time.” She’s done a spot of research. They are younger than her when their girlfriends start getting pregnant, and they continue to play with the added admiration that they are fathers as well. 

“Yes, but they have the benefit of getting paid millions. They don’t have to fight with their federation for pitches or pay, and they can focus on football without their career sparking controversy for even existing.” 

“Then my children will grow up with a mother who fights for change.” 

“Or they grow up with a pop star who only wants things she cannot have and a footballer who can’t spend any time with them because she is too busy speaking at various conventions so that the next league match isn’t cancelled.”

“Jenni, do you think your opinion would be different if Y/n was a man?” 

This elicits laughter from the other woman, who rolls her eyes in a way that can only be described as condescending. “Alexia, you’re forgetting that I’m a lesbian too, which is a magnificent feat.” Jenni references the kiss they shared, and what happened after that. “But, no. I don’t. I want you to be the greatest footballer in the world, and you want that too. What are you going to do when Y/n tells you she wants to move back to England? Are you going to give up your future here for her?” 

The waiter interrupts briefly, collecting their empty plates and carting them off with a mission to retrieve the bill after a sharply declined offer for the dessert menu. “You don’t even know if that will happen,” Alexia scoffs, though she is a little sad that her exciting news hasn’t been well-received. “I was going to say that I’d think about the name Jennifer if it ends up being a girl, but now I’m leaning more towards María…”

She is kicked under the table, and she has to hold in her cry of pain because this restaurant is one of your favourite places to eat. “Mapi cannot have this victory over me. She’d be insufferable. Ale, you simply aren’t allowed to do that.” There’s another kick, but it is more playful this time. 

Alexia laughs, smiling and thankful that the tension has diffused. “I’m only joking. Y/n has a list scribbled in the back of her lyric book. She’ll probably be called Elena.” That is much more acceptable to Jenni’s ears, and she files that information away for next year, when she’ll tell Mapi that Alexia doesn’t like her name.

…

It works. Alexia and you are lucky. The doctor tells Alexia that, if she were a man, the two of you would have to be extremely careful. Your wife marvels at your ability to destroy your body and stay fertile, but she supposes that you are not the kind of woman to be a lesbian. Sometimes, she wakes up in a cold sweat, believing that you have changed your mind and left her. 

The New Year is a fresh start. Alexia decides to fix the (not so) hidden cracks in your relationship. She confides in her newly-acquired therapist. She may have made a mistake once; the secret is sandwiched between her worries about your susceptibility to depression and how Nico is a decided food critic. 

Though the therapist, a lovely bilingual woman named Sofía, raises her eyebrows, she does not pry. She slides a paper calling card over to Alexia. The paper squeaks along the coffee table between the two comfortable armchairs of the office. “I specialise in couples. Seeing as your wife is already a client of mine, I think you should consider a joint session.” Alexia is new to the idea of mental health. Before, she had been too focused on football to care about it. Even when her father died, any professional she spoke to was only hearing how her mind worked because she knew it was what was best for her performance. “And, Alexia.” She looks up at the therapist with a small, nervous smile. “Congratulations on the pregnancy. I am sure Nico will make a wonderful older brother.” 

Morning sickness drags you out of your shared bed most days. 

Alexia asks you about couples’ therapy when you have finished your dry-heaving one morning. 

“I mean,” you begin before pausing, gulping down the sour taste in your mouth and hoping nothing else is trying to hit the toilet water until tomorrow. “Sorry.” 

“Don’t apologise.” She is dressed in her training kit, but she slings her jumper over your shoulders as soon as you shiver. “Do you think it’s a good idea?” 

“It would do no harm.” As long as Sofía does not bring up Alexia’s confession, your statement will ring true. “You book the appointment. It’ll be easier to work around your schedule that way.” 

“When are you flying back to London?” Her question is not filled with hatred for the city, but with resignation to the fact that your job involves you being stretched between here and there. 

“Not until next month. I thought that I could take Nico to an away game with my dad if I got a flight for Saturday. The rest of the week would be interviews and photoshoots.” 

“How’s the album doing?” 

So far, your songs are only written when Alexia has paid you enough attention to swirl your thoughts and blur your vision. It is in these moments that the lingering, sinking weight inside of you dissipates. “Dave remains hopeful. It won’t fail, but I need it to be better than what we currently have.” 

Shamelessly, Alexia is aware of her effect on your songs. She smirks; “Alba has been begging to babysit, you know.” With no care for your current state, Alexia’s eyes rake up and down your body. You grow embarrassed by how you are slumped over the toilet, and how she is standing above you as though she runs your world. “You look beautiful, mi amor,” she murmurs as you bashfully duck your head between your bent arms. 

“You’re a flirt.” It feels too late for her to still be in the flat. “And you’re going to miss training if you don’t get a move on. There are eggs in the fridge, and Nico definitely liked the omelette you made him a few days ago. He’ll be waking up soon.”

A small sigh escapes the midfielder’s lips, but the prospect of the things she loves most in the world appearing in her life consecutively is enough to convince her to pad her way out the bathroom, swanning into the corridor with a little grin on her face as she sings out ‘bon dia’ to an impressively multilingual toddler and heads into the kitchen with the domestic intention of getting breakfast started. She leaves an omelette out for you, which you attack shortly after Alexia and Nico disappear into their daily routine. She drops him off at preschool, and you pick him up a few hours later, taking him first for lunch with Alba, and then to the studio. 

You come home to a showered Alexia who is memorising her most recent match. She lets Nico slide into her lap without hesitation, but she stays focused on the football even when he tugs on the strands of hair falling out of ponytail. You marvel at the idea of having enough room in your heart for so much love. You decide that you are not like Alexia, though it is not necessarily a terrible thing. A further observation from watching your wife settle her son with a calm, muttered Catalan telling-off, coaxing him into loving football as though he does not already, is that you are so very content with your life at the moment. 

But 2020 kind of sucks. 

For the entire world. 

You’re cut off from your home in any other manner than a digital one, and being stuck in a luxurious penthouse in Barcelona isn’t the worst fate, but it really isn’t ideal. 

Elena, however, has the benefit of coming into the world with ever (physically) present parents, who could recite the java script for Zoom given that they spend hours on therapy calls. Elena, bright and smiley and the picture of her mother, spends the first few months of her life in a happy, happy family, protected by an entire football team and a fierce older brother. (And a yappy Pomerianian called Nala.) 

“Y/n doesn’t like the name María,” Jenni tells Mapi when Alexia sends the first picture of your new addition to the Barcelona group chat. 

“The next baby is going to be a Jennifer,” Mapi says, to both the forward and the unimpressed midfielder walking a few paces in front of such a silly conversation. “For that, I can only feel sorry for her.” 

…

The routine changes the following year. 

It starts with an abrupt but expected conversation. One that Alexia has been dreading. 

Your album – the first one that is just you – was released two months ago, and it has done too well. Selfishly, Alexia had hoped it would fail. You have enough money, and she is earning more and more each season. Success, unfortunately, means that this little life can no longer exist. Or can it? 

“I have to do it,” you whisper to her, tears in your eyes though the smell of sex still lingers. The quietness of a child-free apartment allows for you to hear her gulp. “It’ll be different this time, darling, but I can’t be here anymore. I can’t fly out to London every few days. I can’t leave you with a five-month-old and a toddler when you are training every day and playing matches every weekend. It’s not fair on anyone.” 

Alexia kisses your bare shoulder, hands slipping round your waist as she pulls your sweaty body into her. Her chest presses against your back, but she is only behind you in this bed. She does not agree with you. She does not support it. But, like she always does, she bites her tongue. “If that’s what you want,” she replies, and part of you dies with the thought that she does not really care. “I love you. I want what’s best for you. For us.” And she tells Jenni all about it when she goes to see her a week later – the flimsy excuse of meeting a childhood friend for dinner enough to wrap a cloth around your eyes and leave you at home with a screaming toddler and a baby whose only flaw is that she grows distraught the moment she is put down. 

In the dimly lit living room, the tension hangs thick in the air. You lock eyes. “Why can't you just move with us? Everyone will want you, darling, and life would be easier,” you plead, a month down the line. The house in Highgate has been readied for your more permanent return. 

Alexia takes a deep breath, her gaze unwavering. “Why can't you get it into your head that I'm not leaving Spain or Barcelona? This is my home.”

“What about the children? School? Life? My career? Does it mean nothing to you?”

Her eyes soften. Your heart breaks, and the piece of you that has already died somehow dies again. “I'm thinking of the children. All the time, I think of them. About the reputation of my name – their name. Putellas, the greatest in the world, or Putellas, the one with potential wasted at West Ham?”

“You're being selfish, Lex,” you snap. “This is an opportunity for all of us, not just me. Think about their future!”

“Their future is here, in the culture they know, the languages they speak. I won't strip them of their identity for the sake of a 'better' life. And my career? I've worked too hard to build what I have here. I won't throw it away.” I don’t want to throw it away. Underscored by Don’t leave me again. 

The room echoes with the weight of her voice. “Their identity comes from both of us.” It’s too final for either of your liking. Elena begins to cry in her cot. “I want to try it. I want you to be open to trying it.” 

She gestures to the suitcases by the door. “Trying it and doing it are two different things. You’re taking them from me!” 

“You’re probably going to love life without them anyway!” you shout. You feel like the crying baby, except the tears rolling down your cheeks carry much more suffering than hers. “You’ll – what? You’ll go out with your friends, and you’ll be able to go to the gym whenever you want. No arguing, no crying, no toddler to entertain, no nappies to change. You never wanted children. I forced it upon you. I regret it, and I’m sorry. We’ll go.”

“Don’t go.” 

I don’t want you to go.

“I have to.” 

You turn your back to her as you fly through the corridor, prepared to console Elena in a taxi. Alexia slips her ring off her finger, and clutches it in her palm instead. Desperately, she searches for a solution. There is nothing within her reach, not even you. 

… 

She is an island amongst a sea of happy people. She is going to be the greatest footballer in the world. It kills her to realise that she can now focus on football. 

Nico starts nursery, attending the same school you once did. He adjusts to life in London seamlessly, and Elena does not seem to care either way. He learns more English every day, and his other mother calls him nightly to read to him. 

With childcare more than sorted, you are free to be interviewed, pictured, and invited to events. You rake in the publicity, especially after laying so slow over the course of the lockdown in Spain. 

“Alexia.” Jenni’s hands knead her tight shoulders, partly teasing her. Alexia wears a frown, eyebrows knitting together with an emotion she’s not sure she can name. “Ale, it’s the same game as always. Nothing has changed.” 

“I know,” she murmurs. “I don’t understand why I feel like this.” She has continued to speak to Sofía, though your joint sessions have now come to a halt while you spend your time doubling as a singer and model. The therapist, try as she might, cannot evaluate the situation effectively enough. Eli and Alba have both tried to help, hoping that weekly dinners and the constant reminder about the invention of aeroplanes would ease the turmoil of Alexia’s mind. It does not. “I am so alone, Jenni.”

Nala is too small to fill the emptiness of the flat. Screens don’t allow for her to kiss you, or play with Nico. She is scared she will miss Elena’s first words. 

“You don’t have to be.” 

It only takes a month for Alexia to break, and it sort of works. 

In Jenni’s bed, it works. Hips keening, soft pants falling from her mouth. 

Quiet moans that stay locked in Jenni’s apartment. 

Each time Alexia leaves, though Jenni repeatedly requests that she stays, she walks out as half a woman. She blinks back her tears and she checks her phone. When she calls you – not a video call – you are never any the wiser to the scratches down her back. 

Alexia remains an island, but the sand beaches are tainted with the arrival of someone else. 

In this way, she is functional. 

She can do sex. She can deal with borderline romance. She can fill the space that you are tearing open with every passing minute spent in that god-awful country you insist on calling home. She can fix it a little bit with Jenni. 

She tells herself that it does not mean anything more than a bandage means to a wound. Who wears the bandage once the gash has healed? 

Where does she put the used bandage? 

Why is she focused on bandages?! She’s having an affair. It’s not an affair! (It is.) Alexia doesn’t… quite… wanttoadmititjustyet.

…

The buzz of your phone is the final push that gets you to conclude the current interview you are trapped in. Before checking what the notification is, you glance at the time. You have half an hour before you need to pick up Nico, and your parents said they would drop Elena home once they returned from London Zoo. 

Alexia: Jenni has had a really good idea 

It’s an intriguing text amongst the more practical ones that oil the mechanics of managing the distance. Tonight, Barcelona play their last match of the season. After this, she’ll be flying out to London. You have missed her. The last time you saw her in person was after Barcelona embarrassed Chelsea in Gothenburg. Elated and filled with pride, it was incredibly nice to have the biggest room in the hotel to yourselves. Her medal was almost as beautiful as her. 

You: Go on…

Alexia: Just draw a heart on Nico’s hand from me porfa. You’ll see. 

You slide into the driver’s seat of your newest self-indulgent car; a Porsche. Momentarily distracted by a camera flash, your turn onto the main road is a little risky, but you manage to make it to the school in time to collect your son. 

“Was he good?” you ask his teacher as she hands you Nico’s book bag. You take in the sight of him: hair messy, school uniform stained though they require the little ones to wear aprons for most of the day. “It’s a little different here. I’m hoping that he’s enjoying himself.” 

“Our new assistant is from Spain,” says the teacher with a small, tired smile, batting her long eyelashes at you. “We had to pry him off her.” 

You let out a laugh. “He misses his mum.” 

“He’s extremely intelligent. He knew to speak Spanish to her and English to us.” Though your grasp of Spanish is near-fluent after such reluctance from your wife to try English, you know that the two-year-old has a talent for juggling the three languages he is growing up around. You’re proud of him. “You shouldn’t worry about him. And, speaking of, we have a parents’ coffee morning just around the corner. It’s always great for the parents to get along – it helps the school feel even more like a family. Will it just be you attending?” Nico’s teacher is around your age, and you can smell her rose perfume that mingles with the soft hint of ready-mixed paint. She has deep, brown eyes, and she is definitely flirting with you. 

“Next week, right? I’ll have to check with my wife.” 

It’s then that a toddler-sized hand grips your fingers and tugs. “Mama, me voy,” he groans; something akin to Alexia’s impatience. It reminds you of when you used to go shopping and she’d herd you out with the threat of getting in the car and driving away. “Venga.” 

“One sec, sweetheart.” There are countless ways in which you miss Alexia. “My wife and I would love to come.” 

Her smile does not falter on her lips, but there is a greyish disappointment that dulls the warmth of her irises. You smile as you turn your back and lead Nico to the car. You are so excited for Alexia to complete the broken puzzle. 

You melt when she kisses the heart drawn onto her hand when celebrating her goal. Nico copies her, lips pursing and sloppily mimicking the action on a similar heart. “For you, sweetheart,” you tell him as he settles back into your side, careful not to jostle Elena who has fallen asleep on your chest (the therapist did wonders for you). 

“It was for you,” Jenni tells Alexia after the match. Her goal is now serving as the move Alexia feared she’d make. They have changed and been massaged and done the media the are required to do (women’s football is growing): they are free to roam Barcelona if they so wish. 

Her flight is tomorrow evening – “I have a flight tomorrow evening.” 

“Come over tonight.” It isn’t a question, yet it is not quite a command. Mapi passes the two of them, eyes narrowing at the way Jenni has wrapped her hand around Alexia’s wrist. The defender is aware that something is going on, though it breaks her heart to imagine Alexia ever doing that to you. Not knowing they are being watched, Alexia steps in; cups Jenni’s face, brushes her cheekbone with a stroke of her thumb Mapi knows is meant for her wife. Mapi’s stomach lurches. She feels sick. 

“I need to…” It’s not a ‘no’. “Jenni.” She hates that it is not a ‘no’. 

“Ale.” There’s a beat. Mapi blinks twice, shakes her head, and backs away. “I’ll miss you, you know?” 

… 

Jenni doesn’t seem to mind when, the next day, blurry pictures of you on a family outing make rounds through the tabloids she usually doesn’t read. The fact that, up until now, no one has known that your wife is Alexia Putellas has no effect on her. She was stupid for thinking the last six months meant something. Winning together, losing together. Sleeping together. 

In this deal, Alexia has fucked over both women who love her. Except, you don’t know. She hasn’t told you, though Jenni had hoped for it secretly – hoped Alexia chose her – and it is obvious. Obvious to Jenni, who is well acquainted with the blonde hair in the wings of your concert at the O2. Obvious to Jenni, who refuses to think of herself as the other woman. 

She consults Mapi. 

Mapi, who she has come to shamefully realise already knows. 

“I can’t believe the two of you.” The defender is clear in her distaste and disappointment and, honestly, her disgust. “But I am not going to be the one to break that poor girl’s heart.” 

“I’m not asking you to.” 

What is she asking? What does she want from this utterly useless conversation? 

“Mapi.” Jenni closes her eyes, but she sees two faces instead of darkness. Nico. Elena. She’s Elena’s godmother. You decided that – convinced Alexia to choose her best friend over her younger sister, told your wife that there’d be another for Alba to corrupt. “Mapi, I love her. I don’t know what to do.” 

“She loves her wife.” The next sentence proceeds to brutally remind Jenni who that isn’t. “Tell her you’re done. Find someone else. Anyone but her.” 

That is Jenni’s resolve, because she knows that Mapi is right. 

… 

June, July, and August pass with bliss. 

Everyone says that you are a beautiful couple with beautiful children. Alexia beams with pride as she flaunts her practised English, and gladly claims ownership of Nico when he wins a prize on speech day. Every child in Reception is awarded something but that doesn’t stop her from boasting.

She explores the country with the children while you shack up in the recording studio, and brings hugs and kisses (and Red Bull) every evening after dinner. The visits are what reminds you of the sun Alexia brings, especially as the warmth follows her from Barcelona and London is blessed with golden days. Dog days. 

“This isn’t permanent.” Alexia looks up from her phone, comfortable in your bed. The house in Highgate has flecks of Spain woven into the decor now, and you like it that way. 

You climb into the bed beside her, and her arm lifts so that you can snuggle into her chiselled stomach (wow, she has been working hard this season). “What’s Jenni saying?” you ask, following your statement and hoping you’ll get her attention. She presses her phone screen into the duvet before you can translate the message – it is too long of a paragraph for you to handle. “Anyway, I wanted to tell you that this isn’t permanent.” 

Alexia, over the past few months, has been the most affectionate, loving, amazing person with the same smile and giggle you married. You thought she had disappeared and was replaced with stern, career-focused Alexia Putellas, jugadora del fútbol. You were wrong. 

“I’m thinking January is when we’ll come back. Nico’s English will survive.” Your parents are going travelling. They’ve never been on the Orient Express before. “I want to be with you.” 

It is a good thing Jenni has just broken up with her. 

“I love you,” you continue. “So much.” 

Alexia hums. Her heart breaks, and she does not know for whom. “¿En serio?” She is happy, she thinks. Certainly, she is glad that the four of you will be reunited. 

 You are. 

January 2022 ruins things for Jenni Hermoso. She calls Pachuca back. 

[notlhecxzsa]

Never Wield Such Power, You Forget To Be Polite - N.R

Summary: Where did all the time go? Years have passed yet memories are still fresh for both of them, especially Natasha. Would it still be after the rotten smell of the present? Digging up the graveyard of unknown feelings and innocent glances, their story is about the start... or continue?

Author's Note: GOSH! Finally I'm able to updateeee, sorry for making you wait for too long! Might update within this week again or the end of this week if I got free time! Mwa (⁠っ⁠˘⁠з⁠(⁠˘⁠⌣⁠˘⁠ ⁠)

Warnings: Mean Natasha!, asshole parents, cursing, degradation words, angst

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Y/n's POV:

"Oh-... did I interrupt something?" I asked, genuinely worried if I did interrupt a conversation that was going on before I came in.

"No, no, it's fine. We just finished talking." Yelena, whom I learned earlier, said while walking past me, Natalia stayed silent as my gaze caught her figure on my peripheral vision. "If you'll excuse me, I'll head back inside now." I gave her a smile and nod following an awkward wave of my hand.

I gaze at the back of Natalia's head, my mouth agape a little as curiosity filled my wide eyes. "Hello..." I muttered, my voice almost coming out as a whisper.

I cleared my throat when I received no response from the red head, ducking my head as I stepped forward beside her, keeping a certain distance. I turned my head upwards, gazing at her side profile, my mouth still agape as I waited and waited for her to speak to me. To see me.

She grew so much! I remember a very brief and vivid memory of her, she surely does not look so beautiful like this. I wonder what she did to her face, maybe it has some make up on? I don't know much about make up, but it was said to have the power to transform people's faces.

"You won't get anything from looking at me, kid." I jumped a little, blinking my eyes as I closed my mouth. Interlocking both of my hands with one another, I averted my gaze towards our backyard.

"S-sorry... Uhm-... Hi?" I did my best not to look at her as I spoke, my heart started to beat loudly inside my chest.

"What do you need?" I heard her voice that was slightly husky and at the same time heavy. I gulped, fear started to crept up into me. God, I should've just told Dada that I don't feel well when he told me to accompany Natalia, not that it would work. What he says is to be done with no arguments or reasoning.

I tried to find the right words to say, but found nothing as I kept muttering. "I-... Uh..." I fiddled with my hand as my head slowly moved down, looking at the cast that was wrapped around my arm.

"Y/n." My head immediately perked up, but stayed facing away from her at the sudden call of my name after a moment of silence. "Do you know what will happen?" I frowned softly, my mind clouded with so much confusion. Golly, so many things have happened already, I'm starting to feel drained already.

"W-what?" I asked, gazing into the abyss.

I felt her pair of eyes burning holes to the side of my head, making me more nervous. We were once again met with silence, I kept shifting from one foot to another as I fiddled with whatever my hand will touch, trying my best not to meet her burning gaze.  From my peripheral vision, I saw a blurry motion of her head moving side to side as if something had disappointed her, as if I disappointed her.

Gollly! I just want to be eaten whole by a big buzzing bee and fly me away from here! Maybe a dragonfly that will stung me in the back and carry me all the way to paris. Yeah, maybe the second one.

"We came here all the way to New York and you won't give me a normal conversation?" There was a mused tone in her voice, I couldn't put a finger on what kind of expression she was wearing, or what kind of message she was trying to give me.

I bit my bottom lip, once again trying to find words. "I-... What... I mean, I don't know what you're talking about, Natalia..." I confessed with a gentle voice, which is just my normal voice as I tried to cover up the raging storm inside my head. I looked up to meet her gaze that was already on mine the moment I averted my eyes upwards.

I saw a glint in her eyes before she looked away, a smirk visible on her face. "Pathetic... stupid dipshits." I heard her whisper, I know that was what she said. I have a good hearing, Lucy cleans my ear weekly.

I gulped, immediately looking down. My heart is breaking at the humiliation and degradation I had just received from someone I don't even know. I should be used to it already, I got it daily from my parents, but I am not. Lucy always tells me that I am not what they call me. Always reminding me that I am not someone who they pertain to me.

I could accept it easily from my parents, but from someone, I just can't. But, hearing it from Natalia, my stomach did a backflips, it is different from what I have felt from the others. Maybe, it's because I've known her before, or maybe it's because she was my first ever friend to call.

I smiled a little at the vivid memory of her giving me that yummy cupcake! I was devastated that day when I finished my tutoring class and found her gone. Lucy told me I'll see her next time, but that never came. Now, I saw her again. But, she's different. Not just physically. She's just... different.

"Uhm... Did you like the foods? Is there uhm... is there anything I uh... I could entertain you with? Oh, would you like a tour of the house?" I asked, looking anywhere but her, still facing her as I rambled. I heard her let out a sigh, almost like an out of boredom one. "We- we have a music room..." Finally looking up at her face, I saw how her head swayed away from me, as if she was already gazing at mine, I waited for her eyes and mine to meet.

I eyed her pointed nose first, how it widened ever so slightly as she took deep breaths, then down to her sharp jaw, it is so well defined, just like her green forest eyes along with those thick eyelashes and eyebrows. I almost felt like an insecure kid with how perfect she looks, my jaw's not the sharp, my eyelashes may be thick but it looks messy, not like hers.

As the light from the moon and stars cascaded down on us, mixing up with the electric lights that radiate from our house, I could see how smooth her skin is, how freckles littered along the curves of her face.

"Seems like you're the one who's getting entertained here." My eyes immediately snapped to meet her, widening as she gave me an amused look, a smirk appearing on her face as she looked down on me.

Blush crept into my face, heating it up with a crimson red color. "I-I'm sorry..." Looking down immediately, I crossed my arms on my front, finding the atmosphere rather too cold for my liking as goosebumps littered my skin, mixing up with the embarrassment I just fell into. "I didn't- I didn't mean to stare, I'm really sorry." I said,  genuinely concerned. Stupid, Y/n.

"I'm not talking about you." Once again, my head snapped up to look at her, confusion written all over my face as I took in what she said. Did i hear it right? What was she talking about? Am I deaf? "I meant... you're not... pathetic." She continued, sounding so unsure of what she was saying. Hesitation flew by in her eyes, almost wanting to take back the explanation she just made.

My mouth is agape a little in an O shaped, nodding my head as relief flush inside my chest. I wanted to ask who she was talking about, but asking questions is not my forte, especially with what I would usually get from doing it. "You should head back inside..." She started, her head turning away from me as her gaze averted to somewhere unknown. "You're getting cold." She said, still avoiding meeting my gaze.

Without knowing it, I blurted, "Lucy told me it's not nice to not look at people when you're talking to them..." I muttered, slowing down as I realized what I was saying. Her eyes are averted to meet mine, raising an eyebrow as she lets out a small chuckle that I almost didn't hear. "Well, Y/n..." She began, turning her whole body to face mine, just then did I notice how tall she is than me. I must be just under her chin, or maybe her chest since I'm wearing sandals with 3 inch heels. "Let's just say... I'm not nice. How about we start with that?" She finished, her crossed arms were pulled away and down to her sides.

My eyes went down from her captivating eyes, down to her nose, then to her lips. My mouth opened, trying to find the right words to say. "I think..." Averting my eyes up to look at her again. "I think you are." She looked like she was taken aback from my 'bold' answer, if you could call it that. But, it is the truth. I do think she is nice. Maybe, she just did not want to look at my ugly face while talking to me? Or maybe, she just didn't want to strain herself while talking and looking down on me? Golly! I shouldn't have quoted Lucy.

I heard her clear her throat, both her hands going inside the pockets of her pants. "You don't know me." She said gently, but I heard the edge on her voice, as if she wanted to say something more. "It's nice to see you again, Y/n. I'll see you again soon." With that, I was left outside, the cold breeze passing right through me as I was left frozen in time. Oh gosh, oh gosh, did I offended her? Did I say something wrong- oh, maybe I delivered that in the most wrong way! 

I'm dead.

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Natasha's POV:

"Maria, can you go to the penthouse and call the service to do a general cleaning. Restock everything, foods and all the necessities. Also, remember the room at the end of the hall, across mine? Order new furniture, clean especially that room." I demandedly rambled, signing every paper that was presented in front of me by Clint. I saw in my peripheral vision how she and Bucky looked at each other suspiciously, but I chose to ignore it, knowing that they wanted a further explanation.

"Also, uhhh, Bucky, can you take care of the delivery in Philadelphia and Brooklyn? I'll let Clint and Steve handle those ones in Europe." I continued before finally looking up at them.

They looked at me skeptically but nodded. "Good, we'll have a busy week ahead, make sure to give a heads up on everyone." I finished, just then Bucky started talking.

"You never told us what happened with the dinner you had with your parents." I stopped on my track, remembering what happened last the day before yesterday.

After that night, I immediately ordered Maria to book me a flight from Hawaii to New York. I don't know why, but my feet are itching to get as far away as possible from that land. I felt different, maybe it's because of the difference in the atmosphere between New York and Hawaii, maybe it's just my parents.

"There's nothing to be told." I opposed, continuing my work as my mind came running back to that small girl once again.

She's been plaguing my mind, waking me up all night with no resolution. I hated every second of it, I felt imprisoned by those... eyes. Her voice that sounded like a melody kept ringing in my head until I felt like my eardrums are shattering with how angelic it sounded.

She's grown... so much. I still remember as clearly as the blue sky and ocean how she looked back then. I still remember the first conversation I had with her, how I didn't get the chance to meet her again, how I kept something that must have been one of her prized possessions as a child.

Innocent child.

"... Nat? Did you hear me?" The sound of fingers snapping in front of my eyes, almost close to my face brought me back from whatever trance I was in. Looking up, I saw a frowning Maria with Bucky looking just as confused and worried as her.

I faltered for a moment, hiding my embarrassment with how absent minded I became while thinking about a complete random person. I cleared my throat as I shook my head, blinking vigorously as I avoided their gaze and focused on cleaning up my desk, I'm finished already anyway. "Sorry, what is it?" I asked, trying to mask up the raging storm inside my head while putting all the papers together.

"Buck asked if you're up for tonight's night out...? Stark will be there, I bet Maximoff too along with Strange and the others." She explained. I hummed quietly as I thought for a moment. After everything, I think that will be a very much needed thing. My kind of breath of fresh air.

"What time?"

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Tags: @transparentflapfarmsludge @dvrkhcld @esposadejoyhuerta @natsxwife @justspance @cheekysnake-blog @wandasreallover

[photmath]

Wrong Impressions | Trent Alexander-Arnold (Part Two)

Pairing: Trent Alexander-Arnold x Reader

PART ONE written by the lovely @karotland, would strongly recommend reading that first.

Summary: Stoic, serious Trent walks around campus with murder on his face and is quite the no-nonsense class partner, frustrating you with his anti-social antics. Flustered and feeling guilty after he finds out about how you insulted him, you seek him out at a house party to apologize only to find a whole new Trent, leaving you with a lot of questions.

Word Count: 6.3k

Warnings: SMUT (18+), suggestive and implied, drinking, cursing

Note: Huge thank you to my girl Karo for letting me write a second part, ilysm and I hope I didn't disappoint (plz lie) <33. This was quite fun, can't believe I agreed to it but I'm so glad I did in the end! Kk love you bunches bye.

After finding Maddie back up on the balcony, you plopped down hard onto the seat next to her. She gave you an all-knowing look, lips tugging into a smirk.

“What?” you furrowed your eyebrows.

“You have a look,” her eyes narrowed as she tried to piece together the pieces. “Did you talk to Trent?”

“Yes,” you reply matter of factly, straightening up your posture. “And you were wrong, turns out we won’t be the 0.1% exception because he’s going to talk to me starting Monday.” You wiggled your hips in the chair as you gave her a satisfied smile. However, instead of congratulating you for not being a part of this ‘mathematical wonder,’ she gave you a displeased look.

“You do realize what today is?”

“Friday?”

“You won’t talk to Trent until Monday?” she raises her brows, “even though you’re in his house now? And he’s—” she peers over the balcony, “—right down there? Actually, they’re making their way over here.”

You rose to the balls of your feet immediately, looking down at the raucous boys and Angela from over the balcony. There you saw Trent once again laughing at something Jude said with his arm slung over him as if he’d escape from underneath him.

“How am I supposed to make out with Jude if you’re going to be clinging onto me all night?”

You roll your eyes, sitting back down in the chair with a huff, “It’s not like I’ll be alone. I can chat with the others.” You knew Maddie was only joking, having been split up from her numerous times at other parties.

“And Trent?”

“And Trent.”

“Good,” Maddie smiles, finally satisfied with your answer. But she isn’t done yet, her lips curling up into another grin, “I saw that earlier.”

“Saw what?”

“The look you gave him.”

You didn’t like how vague she was because you looked at Trent now a couple of times throughout the night, but you didn’t think your facial expressions were very obvious.

Her gum smacked loudly as she blew out a bubble, “Were you jealous?”

“No,” you crossed your arms.

“Oh come on, you see him talking to Angela and you go all quiet and suddenly say, ‘I’ll be back.’ And then off you go, stomping until you get to him.”

“I wasn’t stomping,” you laughed, rubbing the nervousness out of your arms. Why did Maddie’s words have this effect on you? Sure you were jealous, but you were jealous because Trent never once gave you that ounce of socialization.

Maddie shook her head once before dismissing the conversation, “Do you want to go inside? I’m getting a bit cold.”

You nod hastily, glad the attention is drawn away from you because god how loud was Maddie talking? Anne seemed to still be preoccupied with the others talking about another ex from her past, but noise traveled between floors it seems and you learned just how easily Trent could overhear conversations.

Sliding back inside, the purple lights and booming music greet you once again. Instinctively, you scan the kitchen and living room for a place for you to stand and chat with friends but your eyes connect with Trent’s as the front door opens. His smile is faint but quickly interrupted once Jude tumbles in from behind him and beelines towards the kitchen where a teammate of his is pouring shots.

Trent, on the other hand, takes his time. He holds the door open for the rest of them to come inside and once Angela comes in last, she perks her head up at him. Trent looks down at her quizzically and whispers something into her ear, making her laugh while he just wears a smirk. You feel the little green monster again, like a gear wanting to turn but a rock was wedged in the middle of it so now it’s grinding loudly in your ears.

You shake off the feeling, turning completely around and facing the direction of the kitchen. Jude downs the shot and then immediately hands one to Maddie—who somehow slipped out of your grip and found her way towards him. She throws her head back once she grabs it from him. You stay mingling around the kitchen, chatting with friends and meeting the ones you don’t recognize.

Feeling a hand brush up on your arm, you turn around to see Trent giving you a soft smile as he moves behind you. You return the friendly smile back, but you aren’t familiar with the feeling that washes over you once he continues to walk past you. Disappointment perhaps? It would be a lie to say that you hadn’t thought he was coming up to you to chat. So watching him now practically steal Jude away from Maddie, you’re left a tad bit annoyed.

Just as you’re about to make your way out of the kitchen and into the living room where a few others are dancing, a calloused but warm hand wraps around your wrist and stops you. He carries a bottle while staring at you, gesturing to Jude and Maddie, “Do you want to take a shot?”

You briefly glance back at the two, their heads nodding eagerly as they await your answer. Well, why not. You concede, “Just one.”

Trent smirks, lining up four glasses and then pouring what you assume is vodka although you can’t make out the title on the bottle. The four of you down the shot at the same time, you cringing at the burn that goes zipping down your throat. But then you and Maddie holler the moment you two recognize the song that starts playing through the speakers. She reaches out for your hand to dance with her in the small space between the counters and island of the kitchen.

You don’t notice Trent’s lingering gaze on you, or the smile that can’t leave his face as he watches you throw your hands up in the air as if you didn’t care who watched.

An hour into more chatting and dancing, you found yourself desperately searching for an open restroom because seriously who was taking so long in the guest restroom? Trent nurses a red cup to his lips as you find him, standing on your tippy toes to ask, “Is there another restroom that I can use?”

Trent glances at the restroom across the hall and then motions his head upstairs. He speaks but his words are inaudible from the speaker being right next to the both of you. You scrunch up your face and tilt your head and for a brief second, he seems amused. He leans down to yell into your ear, “Follow me!”

The brush of his lips against your ears sends you in a daze. Your feet stay glued on the floor until he passes you, holding out his hand for you to follow him. And his hand. It feels like it’s on fire as he intertwines your fingers tightly with his. He gives your hand a squeeze, maybe to make the grip tighter but you don’t know. He weaves you through the mass of sweating and dancing bodies until he gets to the stairs, you both walking up still hand in hand even though no one was in the way to separate you. The corridor is dark as he stops to open a bedroom door, finally releasing your hand gently as he turns on the light.

You recognize it immediately as his bedroom, the few photos that line his dresser and the same bookbag and football bag that he carried on the floor next to it. His green sheets are neatly tucked into his bed frame, his room overall very clean for a guy.

“You can just use mine,” he points to the door across his bedroom.

“Thank you so much, Trent,” you sigh. You quickly rush into the restroom and almost freeze again at how clean it is. Seriously there was no way his restroom was one wink cleaner than yours.

Once you finish, you expect the room to be empty but Trent is still there standing against the doorframe. A couple beads of sweat line his forehead as he swipes them, then looking up at you, “You okay?”

“Yeah,” you smile. “I’m okay.”

“The weather,” he indulges, “getting cold, hmm?”

You break into a laugh, feeling a little nervous to have all his attention in his bedroom after using his restroom. You stand a couple of steps in front of him, peering up at him, “It is, didn’t expect the temperature to drop so suddenly in the past hour.”

“Bummer,” he mentions. “I wanted to sit on the balcony.”

Gosh, his eyes are really brown.

Trent bursts into an abrupt laugh, his head falling forward and dimples deep into his cheeks as he peers up at you. You feel a little giddy getting this sudden reaction at him, chuckling back at him despite your heart swelling at the way he’s looking at you.

“Thank you, darling, for noticing the color of my eyes.”

You slap your hand over your mouth, eyes wide as your cheeks rush with heat, “I said that out loud?”

“You did.”

“Oh my god—”

“It’s okay,” Trent muses, he picks up his head and leans it against the doorframe. Chewing the gum he suddenly has in his mouth, you’re memorized by the way his jaw clenches over and over again. Embarrassment is now mixing with another feeling as Trent continues to look at you through his hooded eyelids. Your cheeks feel a little flushed, and you knew your mouth was not going to want to stay closed tonight if he were to continue. Because gosh, the urge to impulsively speak never felt so strong until now.

You brush off whatever dust was on your shorts, deciding to be strong, “We should head back.”

He nods, turning off the light and closing the door. You make it downstairs faster than he does in order to lose yourself in the crowd. Not like Trent would miss you, he had his eyes on you the moment he walked back into his house.

You don’t even realize you’re searching for Maddie until your phone pings, Maddie’s message reads that they’re on the balcony getting some air with some friends. As you make your way to the balcony door, you internally groan knowing you’d be a little cold but there was still some alcohol running through you that could keep you somewhat warm.

You seem to be interrupting a conversation as you sit down on one of the couches, Anne screaming at you to agree, “Tell Jude I’m not lying.”

Jude’s arm is slung over Maddie as he laughs loudly, his head falling onto her shoulder. You chuckle, “She isn’t lying.”

You fall into conversation quickly among them, only glancing up once Trent walks out. He shuts the door behind him and sits down in the only empty space next to you, spreading his legs and arms out wide as he settles in.

“Get too hot in there for you?” you question.

He nods, “Music’s buzzin’ the ears.”

You don’t mean to stare at him, but the chain necklace he wears sitting against his already tight white tee leaves little to the imagination and makes you give him a double take. He looked so good underneath this one dim light out on the balcony. Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it wasn’t, but the desire to be closer to him consumed you. However, you fought it, not wanting to embarrass yourself more.

Not realizing the conversation stirred onto you, you give the others a puzzled look as they turn towards you.

“Yeah, I don’t ever see you with a man,” Anne agrees. Your eyebrows furrow immediately, feeling breathless as you realize where the conversation is going. “We all thought Johnny would be endgame, you know?”

“Aww, do you remember when he planned out that ‘date-but-not-a-date’ for her and then he had to cancel because he got a flat tire?” Maddie asks, snickering. “It was so romantic. A picnic underneath the stars, did you guys ever reschedule?”

You wanted to dig yourself into a hole and never show face again. In front of Trent? This was quite possibly one of the most embarrassing moments of your life and it was astonishing at just how many moments from tonight made that list.

It takes you everything to not look at Trent’s reaction but he stays quiet. You find the courage to say, “We actually did.”

“You two were so cute,” Maddie gushes.

Jude jumps up from his seat, “I fuckin’ love this song!” The speaker from inside the house played a very dulled-out song but it was still a bit distinguishable. And suddenly you were thankful for the existence of Jude Bellingham, especially the loud, always-interrupting person he was when he was drunk. He starts dancing alone, his cup still in his hand as he looks towards you, “Come on, dance with me.”

You get up quickly, wanting the comments about Johnny to stop before they get any deeper. Your hand stays intertwined with one of Jude’s as he dances off-beat. He was too drunk to find it or even care about it, you going along with him. The girls cheer out loud for the both of you, and you don’t even want to look at Trent to figure out what he’s thinking about.

And you definitely don’t want to care about what Trent is thinking about when the door opens and Angela comes stumbling out. She dances with the two of you for a few seconds before plopping down beside Trent, in the very seat you were in just seconds before. You can’t help it, you glance in his direction and his eyes are already on yours, stoic but glimmering.

“He’s gonna kill me,” Jude whispers loudly in your ear. You’re almost sure that Trent heard him, but you can’t even think about it because Jude’s body stumbles forward. You try to grip onto his shoulder to steer him upright but his cup goes flying in between the two of you, spilling dramatically on both of your chests.

Gosh, how full was his cup to drench your entire blouse?

“Jude,” you groan.

“Sorry,” he mumbles sheepishly. He lets go and plops down on the couch, groaning as he holds his head in his hands. Looking down at your blue blouse, you notice just how thin the material of it is and quickly shield your exposed chest with your arm. The girls' eyes widen as they turn looking for something to cover you with. Before you can even think, Trent stands up and brushes your arm and back, motioning you towards the door.

“I—”

“I can give you my jacket.”

You nod, ignoring Angela’s sulking, relieved to get some kind of solution for your problem. Trent intertwines your hands together and leads you to his room—again. His thumb brushing against the back of your hand doesn’t go unnoticed by you, you even look down at where they conjoined. The swooning feeling in your chest comes back.

“This is so embarrassing,” you mutter as you finally reach his bedroom, your arm still splayed across your chest as he closes his door.

He chuckles, “Well Angela does exist so…”

“Trent!” you scold. He digs through his closet and pulls down a dark red hoodie. He slips off the hanger and hands it to you.

“I can um—dry your clothes if you’d like.”

You cringe, “That’s even more mortifying.”

Trent shrugs, “I can be discreet, darling. Plus, why are you suddenly shy after you were practically spitting out everything that was on your mind earlier?”

You snatch the hoodie from his hand, “Earlier my nipples weren’t peeking out of my shirt, Trent.”

He smirks, stifling a chuckle out of his mouth and nodding his head, “I guess that’s true.”

You smack his shoulder with his hoodie and go into his restroom. Only in there did you notice just how ridiculous you looked with the giant stain on your blouse that drenched you. You attempt to squirm out of the shirt but only then do you remember about the stupid few buttons on the back of the shirt. There was no way you were going to be able to twist the shirt without popping a few strands. You grumble, knowing you needed Trent’s help.

“Trent?” you call out softly. There’s some rustling on the other end of the door before he hums out a response. “Do you mind unbuttoning my shirt?”

“Can I come in?”

“Yeah.” There was no other way to hold the shirt up without it being on the verge of completely falling once those buttons unclasped. You held onto it for dear life as Trent opened the door hesitantly.

Trent’s fingers tentatively grab a hold of the first button. His fingers feel too big to maneuver such a tiny button out of its threaded loop. The lack of air in the restroom doesn’t seem to help either. He felt like he was choking, as if he was holding onto his breath as he focused on the task and not your bare back.

“Almost done?” you ask, trying to control your shuddering breath. You hoped your back wasn’t a replica of your arms that were now clad in goosebumps.

“I can’t even get the first button,” he spat. His voice was curt, almost agitated that it made you grow a little impatient because he had been trying for a while now. But his voice also seemed to resonate in your ear drums, reverberating back and forth because of how close he was to you. The warmth of the room felt palpable. “My fingers are too big.”

“Just focus harder,” you grit, getting hot.

“That’s what I’m doing.”

You let out a shaky sigh, it catches Trent’s attention and he tries to shudder it away but it only makes his hands shake even more. He rests his palms against your back and it makes you squirm, not expecting the feeling of his hands on your skin.

“Sorry,” he rasps, finally getting his hands to stop shaking and unclasp the first button. “Thank fuck.”

Your knees buckle at his words, him dropping one of his hands to settle onto your waist and stabilize you. Your hips bump into the front of his and you immediately regain balance. His fingertips burn into your waist as he asks, “Are you okay?”

“Think I’m still a little tipsy.”

Trent snorts, “I don’t think so.”

“How would you know?”

His hands go back to work on the second button, “Think you sobered up quite quickly once they mentioned Johnny. Or,” he stops talking and his fingers still, “once Angela walked out. Don’t think I didn’t see your face.”

“I was dancing with Jude, I didn’t even notice her.”

“Yeah?” he chuckles. He makes sure to snicker right into your ear, “Did you forget you danced with her too?”

The last button unclasps and you immediately feel it loosen against your back. You turn around, still clutching onto your shirt, as he wears a lousy smirk. He had caught you in a lie but you weren’t going to let him win just yet.

“Like I said, I’m still a little tipsy I can’t remember.”

Trent’s one-sided grin only grows and his eyes darken from amusement to something else that you can’t quite read. You weren’t familiar with the different emotions of him, only certified in his one stoic facial expression but this was an entirely different person you were meeting tonight. One that you definitely enjoyed. This was the most you ever heard him talk.

His head falls down, glancing at the mirror and then back at you, “Alright then, darling, whatever you say.”

“You’re such an ass,” you whine, pushing him out the door with one hand.

He laughs, “Sober!”

You roll your eyes, wishing the last bit of alcohol gave you the confidence to withstand his gaze. Usually you could banter with him any way you wanted but for whatever reason you felt like you were going to say the wrong thing by accident tonight. You had already slipped up about his eyes and god you hated how you could feel that you were going to say something more. Something potentially less innocent than the color of his eyes. He had a tendency to make you not want to bite your tongue in general.

His hoodie smells a lot like him as you pull it over him, earthy and piney. You bunch your shirt in your hands, and glance at yourself one more time in the mirror before you open the door. Trent leans against his dresser, slipping his phone back into his pocket once you step out.

“Ready to go back out?”

You bite onto your cheek. You weren’t. You seriously didn’t like the way Angela was riling you up for whatever reason. Trent had already said they weren’t dating, shut that idea down quickly but it…gnawed at you? You weren’t even sure what you were feeling.

“No way,” he whispers.

You look up at him and he has an open-mouthed smile on him, was he shocked? But he also looked like he just figured out how to do a hard math problem. Your eyebrows pinch, “What?”

“I didn’t think it was true, but—I heard you talking to Maddie on the balcony when she asked if you were jealous. You lied to her, didn’t you?” There’s a smile on his face that’s he trying to control, as if he were going to burst into a shit-eating grin so wide but he was holding himself back.

Immediately you shake your head, denying, “What?”

And there it is, the laugh. His head falls back too. “Bah, c’mon, don’t try to lie to me now.”

“I’m not jealous.”

“You shouldn’t be,” he said. His voice drops down an octave, “There’s nothing going on between Angela and I.”

“Why would I be jealous of you and her?”

He shrugs, “I don’t know either.”

Seriously, how could he just hear every damn whisper? There was no way you were going to dig yourself out of this. And quite frankly you were a little fed up, from Jude spilling his drink on you to Trent taking forever in the restroom to undo your shirt. Your patience had run thin.

You groan, rolling your eyes as you cross your arms, “It was the alcohol.”

He chuckles, stepping towards you, “You usually yap, alcohol or none.”

You roll your eyes again, “I was jealous because of how easy it was for you to talk to everyone except me.”

He tilts his head, taking another step towards you until you have to tilt your head to look up at him. His smile is sincere, “We’re talking now. Even if you’re lying just a little, I’ll take it.” He holds up his first two fingers with a small gap between them.

The giggle from your throat can’t help but to escape, despite it being hoarse. His eyebrows barely furrow as he notices it but doesn’t comment on it. Thank goodness.

“Besides,” he continues, “it’s much easier for you to hear me in here than it was out there.” His hands wrap around the hood, pulling it over your head and squeezing the strands together so it tightens around you.

“Trent!” you yell, you only make out the bottom half of his body and it suddenly comes a lot closer. He’s laughing as he nudges you against the wall, but backing off so you don’t feel trapped.

You pull off the hoodie once you find your balance, “What was that for?”

He shrugs so nonchalantly that you push him back. He stumbles onto his bed with the widest smile you had ever seen from him. It looked so unnatural as it was aimed towards you that it made your cheeks feel more incredibly hot.

“Wow,” you breathe out. His eyebrows shoot up, amusing you once again. But those doe eyes catch your attention. They were so expressive without effort and it damn near put you in a trance. A trance that would’ve led you straight into his lap had you two not felt heavy steps coming upstairs.

Trent looked immediately to the door and noticed it wasn’t locked, leaping off his bed and in a few long strides he was locking it. He then turned off the overhead light and used his phone’s screen as a source of light. You hadn’t realized his blinds were open until the moon casts its shadow down into the room.

“What the fuck?” You let out the breath you held after watching him run. There’s a sudden knock on the door and the handle jiggles but it doesn’t bulge.

“Trent, I have to piss man,” Jude pleads. Trent presses his finger to his lips as he glances towards you. You would be lying if this didn’t somehow send adrenaline through you. He was seriously hiding in his bedroom from Jude of all people.

There’s another frantic knock, and then the shoving of the door. Jude’s groan sounds so loud, “You fuckin’ twat.” It’s the last thing he says before he walks down the corridor and Trent chuckles quietly.

“You’re cruel,” you tease, walking towards him. He still hadn’t turned the light back on.

“All the other rooms are open,” he shrugs. “He’ll be fine.” He opts for turning on a lamp, turning it on the lowest setting and it’s so dim that it might as well be off.

As he walks towards his bed, he stops, turning back to you. His eyes narrow slightly as you put your hands on your hips, “What now?”

“You said Johnny and you were just close?” he starts. Of course. “But the picnic?”

“Friends can’t just go on picnics?”

He chuckles, “Did he know that?”

“Well he does now. There’s nothing between us. I didn’t like him like that, the girls just always teased us.”

Trent nods, satisfied with your answer, “Okay, enough about him.”

“Please,” you reply meekly.

“You’re the one who usually talks, maybe you should yap more.”

“Quit saying I yap.”

“Yapping about the weather, about class, about—”

You walk over to his bed and throw a pillow at his head. He goes splatting onto his side, you not realizing just how hard you actually held onto the pillow once you swung. Oops…

But he’s up in an instant, on his feet and pushing you back until you hit your back against the wall. A small ‘oomph’ slips out of your mouth that he lets go of your wrists, looking down at your face with a flash of worry, “Sorry—”

“Asshole.” But god were you so turned on with his chest being merely inches away.

And his face is back, “Oh, you’re okay.”

His watchful gaze looking down at you makes you swallow the slick remark down your throat. Wow. Where were his hands at? And just how far were you from him? It was either his eyes or that stupid useless lamp that made you lose sense of distance.

“Are you…okay?” he rasps. You watch as his throat bobbles as he rakes over your face, making you fight every urge to look away from his hard gaze.

“I’m fine,” you manage. His lip twitches as he glances down, it’s only then did you realize that his hand managed to go around your waist. You didn’t know how you didn’t feel it, especially because it went entirely underneath the hoodie. His bare hand was touching the skin of your back and your throat bubbled as he took his time slipping it out. Do not make a sound. Do not make a sound.

You didn’t have to make a sound to realize his movement awakened every fiber in your body. The hoodie suddenly felt ridiculously hot, like walking outside in the middle of summer with it on. If you weren’t leaning on the wall, you would’ve lost your balance right then and there.

And just as Trent’s fingertips are about to let go of you entirely, he lets them stray. In reality, they only touched such a small space of you but they felt suffocating, as if they were engulfing the entirety of you. Exploring you without hesitancy.

For whatever reason, whatever luck that wasn’t on your side, his lamp began to flicker until it went out completely. And just like that, a sliver of the moon’s light shined on his face.

“Did that—”

“It does that,” he mutters. “It’s old, have to give it a good tap.”

“Oh.”

Words escaped you as you felt him lean a little more into you. The sudden brain that never stopped thinking of a witty response was quiet, only thinking about how close he was. How his eyes seemed so tender. The softest they had ever been before. And gah! Even when there’s so little light his eyes look so brown.

“You had on a nice shirt.”

“Everyone saw my nipples,” you say, wanting to slap your hand over your mouth. Why did you choose to say those words at this very time?

He laughs, it’s gruff and it only goes in one ear, giving you goosebumps on that side. “Well, not everyone.” His head dips closer to your ear. “Only the girls saw them.”

“Then how did you know,” you look up at him as he reels his head back slowly. His fingertips slide to the back of your hip, finally putting his palm down and you stifle what might be a moan. Seriously, you need to get yourself together.

“It wasn’t rocket science to put two and two together, darling.”

And you couldn’t do it anymore. There were so many words and so little touch shared in the time that you’ve been pressed against the wall. You guide his free hand to your waist and settle yours around his neck. There is a brief look of shock in his eyes but it goes away as quickly as it appeared.

His breath hitches as your fingertips scratches the nape of his skin. His eyes flicker down to your lips and if he wasn’t going to make the first move, then hell you might as well go for it. Your hand slips down to his chest, balling up the white fabric and pulling him down. His lips crash onto yours feverishly, his breathing heavy as he pulls you closer to him.

You aren’t expecting to feel him through his jeans when your hips clash, so the gasp that leaves your mouth is unrestrained. God. Your hands are slipping down his chest and finding the hem of his pants but it’s so dark, the moon only shining on his face. His lips graze your neck as he squirms once you press your palm against him. His teeth sink into the skin near your shoulder as you pull on the button of his pants.

Before you could unbutton them, he pries your hands off of them and raises them over your head, pinning them down with just one hand. Did he have to look so hot doing that? You couldn’t help the whimper that left your mouth, him smirking as he pressed his hips further into you. He was so hard that you wondered if he was in pain, and how quickly you could slither out of his grasp and relieve him.

But he pulls back, and the frown you make is by instinct. He brings down your hands slowly to your side and you frown even harder, “Why did you stop?”

“Are you sure?” he asks.

“Yeah, I’m not drunk.”

“Walk in a straight line then,” he jokes, tugging the hem of the hoodie towards him.

You roll your eyes, a grin overtaking your scowl as you let him pull you towards the bed. You were so turned on it was ridiculous. He sits down on the bed and you can make out his head turning in your direction, waiting for you to join him.

“No more teasing,” you warn, unbuttoning your pants and shrugging them off. “Just sex.” You don’t even wait for him to pull you down, you settle in his lap as if you had been in this position many times before with him.

His eyebrows rise at your bright pink underwear, but he’s more amused with your words, “What’s the magic word?”

“Trent,” you grip onto his shoulders tightly as he laughs. His hands settle on your hips, teasing the area of where your panties met the hoodie. “Please.”

“Okay.”

The smile that raises his cheeks is so charming that you can’t help but to gently pinch them. But you kiss him as if he’s withholding coffee from you. So rabidly that he had to fall back onto stretched elbows to keep himself up. He dragged himself up to the center of the bed and pulled you with him.

The two of you groaned at the friction of your hips once you sat back down on him. His hands slipped underneath your—his—hoodie and immediately settled on your hard nipples. They had been bruising against the fabric of the hoodie, so the moan you let out was pure relief as he squeezed them. Your hand already wrapped around the length of him through his boxers.

“Fuck,” he grunts, hiking up his hips and shimming out of his pants. His grip is tight as he then peels off the hoodie, leaving you exposed but it doesn’t take long for him to find your breasts with his mouth and hand. And of course his other hand wandered and teased the hem of your underwear. His knuckles brushed against your clit through the fabric that you didn’t have any shame sinking further onto them and rocking your hips.

Once he flipped the two of you over, his touch was careful but firm. Very attentive to the sweet sounds of your arousal and the whimpers of every touch. He wasn’t shy about being vocal either. Especially when it came to his ragged breathing, the feeling of his breath creating goosebumps on your skin in its wake.

The feeling of his cold chain sliding down your body put you into a frenzy that you almost felt bad for how hard your thighs clamped around his head but he didn’t seem to mind.

And that chain continued to bounce against you with each thrust and that alone had you wrapping your legs around him and pulling him down to kiss you. You could feel his lips turning into a sloppy smile that it made you laugh as you pecked his cheek afterward.

Even if his face radiated with innocence, his hands sliding down to give you one more tease sure didn’t. You squirmed once his thumb landed on your clit and sure as hell wasn’t ready for the sudden pinch of your nipple with his other.

“Oh my god—” his lips slid down your jaw and neck, sucking on the supple skin. You didn’t even care if he marked you, your attention so far gone because between the feeling of him so deep inside you, his thumb circling your clit, fingers alternating between a pinch and a ghost of a touch around your nipple, and his warm mouth and breath on your neck, you weren’t even sure what to focus on. It all felt so unreal.

And yet somehow he held you as you rode out the numbing feeling taking over you. Vision clouding as you felt him slip out of you as he tenderly massaged your breasts and then let out a small gasp as he came as well. He nuzzled his lips onto your cheek and neck, breath heavy as he collapsed beside you. He pulled you closer to him and then ran his hands over your thighs in a soothing manner.

God. You almost wanted to cry at how euphoric you felt but there was no way you were going to let go of that much pride in one night.

His eyes flutter open as you already look back at him. He lets out a shy laugh, “Didn’t expect you to be so quiet.”

“I was shocked the entire time.”

“In a good or bad way?”

“In the best way.”

He beams, pulling you closer to him and kissing your forehead, “Seeing you in my fucking hoodie. I couldn’t control myself anymore.”

“I was waiting for you to rip it off of me,” you sassed.

“I knew I should’ve bent you over in the restroom and fucked the brat out of you.”

“I’d love to see you try,” you encouraged and he picked his head up, surely offended, but you were on the tallest cloud that you didn’t care. “Plus, your hands were shaking so much that I don’t think—”

Trent shut you up with his lips. His hands taut around your neck as he shushes you in the way he should’ve done hours ago.

--

Come Monday morning, you were starting to grow restless staring at the empty seat next to you. Trent had a minute to spare before class started and he should’ve been here a minute ago. The two of you texted over the weekend, nothing spectacular but nothing too boring. You hoped you hadn’t bothered him with too many words and scared him away. Maybe your watch was a minute behind—

A white cup suddenly lands harshly in front of you, a strong hand wrapped around it until they let go. The smell of coffee seeps out of it so strongly that it itches your brain. You look over to see Trent, a frantic but bashful smile on his face as he sits down, never taking his eyes off of you. He has his own cup as well.

“That rain, such a sudden downpour,” he chimes. “So heavy that I almost ran late.”

You can’t help that gleeful smile that stretches all the muscles of your cheeks that you don’t know existed; you must’ve look crazy, you are sure. Every facial muscle hurt in that second but you don’t care as you wrap your arms around him. He laughs as he pecks your cheek and then gives your waist a squeeze.

It was sunny outside. No chance of rain or even a cloud.

---

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