#if only to have something I can point to next time the adhd/anxiety/depression trifecta gets me thinking I shouldn't bother trying

[telanana]

currently in agony trying not to scream about this fic I'm working on bc I don't want to post it until it's actually finished but guys. I am loving the dynamic I came up with, and initially, I planned on a very, uhhhhh, frustrating miscommunication trope. like it was all mapped out in my notes and full of stuff that would piss me off as a reader, and then I started writing and was like, wait, hold up these are two grown ass adults there's no way they're ever gonna just Be Like That and like. idk dude it just blew up into something I can actually get behind instead of like... drama because there needs to be a conflict somewhere to keep it from being boring

like in some ways it just... idk feels like I finally found where I really wanted to take it and I'm stoked to be like... genuinely in love with this story instead of just wanting in on writing a certain ship. also feels good in a way I didn't expect to have a romance with characters that aren't young and hot. like I'm just kinda sitting here Feeling Things over these two being not like elderly old but also not 25-year-old CW characters and still getting butterflies thinking about each other and trying to navigate the whole romance thing as people who've outgrown the usual pitfalls but still make mistakes and stumble over each other sometimes. I just. I love this whole thing so much :')

now I just gotta. sit here and write it and finish it without imploding