#if not WORSE actually because that meant you'd be lying about lying. so you're punished more harshly for it

[moe-broey]

Crazy how I can recount something from my adolescence about how I was raised and still manage to make my therapist (who I have been seeing for Years) still go Oh. That's... 😶

Like obviously professional quick recovery style but like. Has an immediate grounding effect and gives eye opening perspective in point zero seconds. Like ooooohh. You see, I was operating under the impression that like, this is a fairly run of the mill and expected experience for someone like me with my lived experiences. Like I could just say this and anyone would know exactly what I'm getting at without needing to provide all the details and thought processes at play here.

Hm. Well,

[krispycreamcake]

Diabolik Lovers x reader (Part 5)

The sickening aroma of ash and smoke clouded your mind as Reiji's words set in. Your heartbeat pulsated in an unhealthy manner as your eyes grew wide with surprise.

"An oil...lamp? Are you sure?" Reiji cocked his gaze towards you before Subaru set you down, seemingly still in a daze. "Why would I not be sure?" Reiji said as he eyed you suspiciously. "I just mean- how could you tell....How do you know it was an oil lamp of all things?" The raven haired man pushed his glasses up with his middle finger before replying. "I saw a light glow from under the library doors earlier, a simple candle would have never emitted something that strong. I also know that there's a couple of old oil lamps somewhere around that room, if my hypothesis is correct, then it was indeed an oil lamp that started this fire." You were planted to the ground as Reiji listed out all the facts of the matter.

God....did you actually cause this? You felt your stomach contort and sway with guilt, but mostly because of the thought of what of they would do to you after finding out you were the culprit, worst case scenario being that Karlheinz might get involved. You involuntary moved closer to Yui, seeking some form of humanity amongst a pack of wolves in a situation such as this. Wait, wasn't Shu and Kanato also in the library with you? You felt your heart drop as panic finally began to set in after the initial shock. You looked towards them who surprisingly seemed to be in their own world...no- not surprising, it was an utmost valid reaction to seeing your house be burnt down right in front your very eyes. Kanato caught your stare and in turn reciprocated the gesture, almost as if he was thinking strongly about something.

"Ne, Reiji, how do we know who started the fire?" Kanato asked. Every second felt like an hour, as you heard Kanato bring up the means in catching this arsonist. But why was he asking Reiji? He had to have some semblance of an idea that you did it. After all, you were the last one to be in the library. Reiji stayed quiet for a bit before deciding on an answer. "Whoever did it will of course face their punishment and be thoroughly disciplined. But first, we'd need to tell father of this." Kanato nodded in understanding before looking at you angrily. He stomped right up to you, teddybear swaying in hand as he began to shout and berate you. "How could you let this happen!? I thought you were supposed to be our caretaker! You're a liar! I hate liars like you!" Kanato screamed at you, which just made you feel worse. You watched as the young boy began to break down and sob, complaining about how you let teddy and his room get caught up in flames. You realized you'd have to try to console the boy, because despite everything, you did start the fire and endangered everyone and yourself.

"K-kanato I... I didn't mean to put you and the others in harm....if I could've stopped the fire from spreading, I really would have." You said as you crouched down to the wailing boy who was now stooping to hide his face in his knees. You could hear quiet sniffles from him followed up by some light murmurs. "You're lying...." You shook your head profusely before comforting the boy once more. "You're lying! You want us dead, don't you!? You're so mean to me, just like everyone else! And why do you care about the others!? You're supposed to be MY caretaker!" You listened to the boy ramble on about something that you were positive was a much more deeply rooted issue. You looked on as Reiji stood above the two of you before speaking once more. "That is enough Kanato, there's nothing that can be done now." Reiji spoke in such a commanding tone that you weren't sure whether it was meant to console the boy or to just get him to shut up.

You felt a hand tug on your arm from behind and was met with Subaru's piercing gaze. "Oi....you didn't get hurt right?" Subaru seemed to get red as he asked the question. "Yeah, mostly. You?" Subaru made a 'tsk' noise before nodding. "Yeah, I won't die that easily..." Something about that sentence made it seem like he wasn't being cocky or showing off, in fact, if you were to jump to conclusions, you'd say it sounded like he was almost disappointed.

"Chibimushi!" Was that Ayato? Who was he talking to? "Oi! Chibimushi! Respond to me when I'm talking to ya dammit!" You looked across at Yui who seemed to be more perplexed than you. Before long, you heard heavied footsteps rapidly approach you. "You there! You respond whenever ore-sama's talkin to ya!" You were spun around and in fact were face to face with the flame haired boy, how ironic. "Oh sorry... I thought you were talking to Yui." You spoke up in your defense. "Hah- no, chichinashi over there will always be chichinashi. But as for you, what were you doing in her room? We all saw you jump from there." You were caught off guard by the question but had no trouble answering it. "Oh that- right, I wasn't sure if she was still inside the house so I ran to go get her, but by the time I got there, the fire spread to the halls." Yui seemed a bit surprised by your answer, but held a soft smile nonetheless. "Thank you. Even if you didn't save me, I'm happy you tried to." You felt your heart warm at the kind girl's words.

Reiji immediately brought an end to your quick moment of joy as he began to speak. "I just got off a call with father and he suggested that we stay at the castle until the house is rebuilt." Immediate sounds of annoyment came from the triplets followed by Subaru's protests. "There's no way I'll be staying with that old geezeer! I'd rather get mauled to death by wolves!" You almost giggled at how adamant he was about not going. "For once, I'll have to agree with my little brother. I cannot stand that man and his repulsive aura." Laito chimed in. "Yeah Laito's right! You're never gonna make the great Ayato stay in the same vicinity as that guy for more than a second!" Ayato followed along, as he complained. "Teddy says we should find somewhere else to stay..." Kanato peeped up. You weren't sure what their father had done to them, but if it was bad enough to get a reaction like this, then it was without a doubt something you should stay out of.

You looked back to Shu whose stare was completely glued to the enflamed manor. His tousled hair bounced in the wind as the ashes whisked past his widened eyes. Was he this affected by the fire? It was his home after all. Your footsteps gently padded across the pebbles of the floor as you made your way to the frightened blond. He turned towards you, but insisted on not saying a word.

"Shu? Uh are you...okay?" His gaze drifted back to the building. "Your room might not be salvaged you know. God this is so troublesome." You follow his eyes, taking in the fire completely as you drowned out the noise of the other brothers squabbling. When you finally broke from your hypnosis, Shu was already on the floor with his earbuds in. He was right about your room, but what was the point in telling you that? Was he inferring something? Something you didn't know? Who knew what that depressed psycho was thinking sometimes. You heard Reiji's stern voice and immediately turned on your heel to hear the final decision.

"We will be staying at the castle until the mansion is repaired. Father has specified he'd like all of us to stay especially since he won't be there due to a business trip." You weren't sure how you felt about staying in the same house that Karlheinz lived in. Quite frankly, you still needed more time to process everything that's been going on. You felt more and more exhausted by the minute, but you knew this was always the outcome. "Oh and one more thing, you there." You looked at Reiji, fear taking over at the thought that he might've figured out who started the fire. "He also mentioned that you were ordered to stay in his room for the time being." Your eyes grew to be impossibly wide as you stood there absolutely dumbfounded at the sound Reiji's words. Instantaneously all eyes were immediately fixated on you. "W-what!? Why??" You blurted out. Reiji held an expression of inquisition as he pursed his lips. "Really and truly, we should be the ones asking you that. What relation do you hold with this man?" You felt sick to your stomach as your mind ventured all the various possibilities as to why he wanted you to specifically stay in his room. Was that why your memories were erased? Was it to conceal the kind of bond you two shared? You couldn't help but let out a sigh of frustration as the anxiety seeped into your very bones.

"He only hired me as a guardian! I have no idea why or what he's thinking!" Reiji hummed in acknowledgement. "Of course you don't, typical." You wanted to stand up for yourself, to say something but Laito was quick to talk over you. "If anything I feel bad for you bitchlet. Being seen as a love interest by that man can definitely be...something. Don't feel afraid to call me when you need an actual man to take care of you." If you weren't in your right mind you'd slap the shit out of him right now. You're all trapped in a situation like this and that's all he has to say? "Shut up Laito. This isn't some kind of joke." At this point you were on an emotional rollercoaster as you heard Ayato of all people speak up for you.

"How can you be ok with that bastard taking what's ours!? I won't allow it! He's clearly trying to fuck with us." And there it was. Of course the only reason this was bothering him was because he saw you as nothing more than property. You let out a sigh and began to zone out, tuning out Ayato's bickering. "Say....Chibimushi, you agree with me don't you?" Your eyes slowly made contact with his green emerald like orbs. You wish you could say you heard anything he blabbed about for the past five minutes, but that'd be a lie. "Sorry, I wasn't really paying attention. What was it?" Ayato seemed obviously annoyed by this and marched towards you.

"I said...You belong to us right? Not that old bastard." How entitled really were these guys? "I don't belong to anyone. I came here to work, nothing else." Ayato was a bit taken aback by your words. "Do you really think that's all you were sent for? If that was the case then you'd be sleeping in a guest room, not the king of the underworld's own personal bedroom." Your head began to throb and pound as the pain spread throughout your entire skull. You gasped for air as you came crashing to your knees with an agonizing cry, hands covering your ears as you desperately tried to block out all outside noise which seemed to only intensify the crippling pain. Tears streamed down as you begged whatever force their was in the universe to put an end to your suffering. Your heart palpitated to the beat of the stabbing ache in your cranium as your breath became hitched and ragged.

"Ayato-" Reiji said before being cut off. "It wasn't me! She just fell down crying!" The ember headed boy blurbed out as he crouched down and put your head next to his chest, squeezing as tightly as possible. "I take it that this is our sign to leave?" Subaru piped up. A silent agreement was made and with some assistance from Yui, you all made your way into the limousine. By then however, you were already passed out from the pain.

Reiji cleared his throat before speaking up. "Whatever relation she's shared with that man seems to be in the way of his plan. Just by mentioning his true identity, she faints away. None of you are to reveal anything to her. If she feels inclined enough to put herself in danger for the sake of truth finding, then that shall be her own downfall. And as for who started the fire....." The occupants of the car all turned their gaze towards Reiji. "Are you sure it was who you think it was....Shu?" The lethargic blond peeked an eye open before closing the both of them once more. "I'm sure. There's no other possible culprit, it has to be that troublesome person." Reiji nodded before looking towards Kanato. "And you can claim truth to this statement, can't you Kanato?" Kanato shook his head as he began to speak. "Both Teddy and I saw it, but only after the damage was done. Isn't that right Teddy?" Reiji pushed his glasses up with a swift motion of his middle finger.

"Then it's settled. The one who caused the fire was none other than Richter." Reiji sighed as he rubbed his temples. "What the hell!? It was that asshole? Jeez, what was the point of that?" The obsidian haired man looked absorbed in his own thoughts as his gaze pierced right through your body. "I believe it has something to do with her. She was in the library earlier today and I fear she's dug up something that should have remained buried." Laito laughed at this seemingly amusing situation. "So it seems bitchlet really is important after all. Otherwise Shu wouldn't have given her the key to the archives." He cooed out just before Shu shot him a painful glance. "Oops~ Seems my tongue slipped." The fedora adorned man chuckled out before returning the sly gaze.

"Is this true Shu? You were the one who gave her the key?" Silence engulfed the entirety of the vehicle as Shu decided it was best to ignore his nagging brother. "Really, what else could I have expected from a no good lazy deadbeat like yourself." And of course he was met with nothing as a response. "But what could uncle have been so worried about that he'd burn down the mansion?" Kanato said, seemingly contemplating. "The bitchlet did mention something earlier before this whole scandal went down." Laito spoke up. "Tch, enough of your games. What was she looking for?" Ayato growled. He was tired of the ups and downs that he had been going through ever since you got here. "Just something about wanting to know more about that man's collection of wives."

Reiji didn't look pleased with this information at all. "I have a theory but first- Laito. How did you get in possession of this information?" Laito chuckled once more, almost excited that he was asked this question. "With the help of little bitch of course, nfu~" Yui immediately paled as all eyes were now on her. She took a deep breath before recounting the events of what had happened. It was painful for her to do so as the guilt and shame ran hot in her veins.

"If that truly is the case, then things will be much more difficult moving forward. It seems father has complicated things for all of us, including that woman." Reiji said before closing his eyes to think. "And what the hell does that mean!?" Ayato boomed out, thoroughly fed up with all this vagueness. "He means that girl over there is going to be a lot more trouble than she's actually worth. She might just be the 4th bride." Shu said after almost 20 minutes of silence. The car was set into an eerie state as no one dared to speak. "......So then that means it wasn't uncle that I saw....it was father disguised as him. He was the one who burned down the archives." Kanato looked almost horrified as he connected the dots. "But....why?" Subaru asked, voice timid and silent. "We're about to find out." Was the only thing Laito could say as the limousine approached the vampire king's castle.

IMPORTANT NOTE: I am soooo sorry it took me this long to get this chapter out, I've been super busy lately but have no fear, I'm finally back! I'll start working on the next chapter as soon as I can and as an apology gift, one lucky follower gets to choose who the next chapter focusses on and any book trope they'd like to center around said charcter! A list of the tropes I'll write is just down below! I will be accepting a max of TWO characters and only ONE trope!

TROPES-

Enemies to lovers

Enemies to friends

Pen pals/ secret identity

Opposites attract

Trapped together

Fell in love with the wrong person

Mistaken identity

Unrequited love

Dark secrets

Damsel in distress

Dude in distress

Body swapping

Injury

matchmaker gone wrong

Love/hate relationship

Secret admirer

[punkscowardschampions]

Jac & Amelia

Jac: Which talk are you going to tomorrow? I can't decide between the humanities and the science ones, because I need them both Jac: Idk why they're on at the same time 🙄 Amelia: Humanities Jac: That makes sense for you Jac: Ugh...oh! Jac: Sav will have to go to one, I'll go to the other and we'll take notes Jac: that will have to do, I talked to Sir and he REFUSES to reschedule, even though he said my point was fair ??? 🤷😒 Amelia: crisis averted Jac: Something like that Jac: maybe we could voice record Jac: have to be sat practically on the speaker though 🤭 Amelia: Sir wouldn't refuse you that Jac: 😷 Jac: I'll come to humanities with you if you like Amelia: I'll be in the back Jac: Come on Jac: that isn't even 😎 now Amelia: neither am I Jac: Why are you acting like you're too cool to sit with me then? Amelia: I don't care about the talk tomorrow Amelia: I probably won't even go Jac: you'll get done if you don't tick off at least one Amelia: they can't punish me for being off sick Jac: you skiver Amelia: if you want me to send you the pics of me on the bathroom floor right now, I will Jac: You're actually sick Jac: bummer Amelia: I look forward to reading more of that on the get well card attached to my 💐 Jac: Don't be so dramatic Jac: what have you got, that cold that's going 'round? Jac: you need to take [these] vitamins Amelia: no Jac: 🤮💩 then Jac: so fluids Amelia: are you done? Jac: There's no need to be snippy Amelia: I can take care of myself Jac: So you want flowers but not anything of actual use Jac: what is up with you right now? Amelia: I don't want flowers, it was clearly a joke Jac: Hilarious, babe Amelia: you'd think so if it came out of his mouth Jac: Who's? Jac: Sirs? Amelia: you're really going to do this? Jac: Do what? Jac: Pursue head of English? Jac: because no, oddly enough Amelia: they don't have the budget for 🌹 it goes on 📚 Jac: So that's what you're on about Jac: my date with Connell Amelia: it's not my fault you've already blocked it out Jac: Why would I have blocked it out? Jac: I had a nice time, thanks for asking Amelia: I literally will never ask Jac: Well that's really nice isn't it Amelia: that's what you keep Is around for Amelia: tell her the gory details Jac: I'm keeping you around because you're meant to be my friends Jac: what the hell Amelia: yeah, that's what I'm meant to be Jac: Say what you mean to say, Meels Jac: you've started now Amelia: no, I think I'm done now actually Amelia: with this Jac: you're actually serious Amelia: if you're serious, then yeah Jac: This is really immature Jac: I go on one date and you don't want to be my friend anymore, seriously Amelia: I can't be mature about it, happy for you, whatever the fuck else you want Jac: Thanks Jac: glad that I mean that little to you Amelia: you mean that much to me Jac: There's nothing wrong with him Amelia: I already feel like I'm dying, I can't listen to your bullet points of his pros Jac: What is wrong with you, why haven't you said? Amelia: because it'll only make me feel worse Jac: I'm not doing this to make you feel bad Amelia: I know Jac: I like boys, I'm sorry Amelia: what do you want me to say? Jac: I know you don't, it's okay Jac: but I can't be that Jac: for you Amelia: it's not okay because you are that for me Amelia: I can't pretend you're not Jac: there will be another person Jac: who can Amelia: you don't know that Jac: of course I do Jac: you're lovely and beautiful and funny Jac: any girl would be lucky to date you Amelia: if I just wanted to date any girl, I would Jac: I can't be gay Jac: there's nothing I can do to make you feel better, is there Amelia: just leave me alone Amelia: because I can't ask you how your date went, it's never going to be something we can gossip about Jac: that doesn't matter Amelia: that makes it worse Amelia: if you think it doesn't matter and we can tip toe around it Jac: no, I didn't mean it like that Jac: I meant the date Jac: I don't need to talk about it, or any dates Amelia: even if you don't, they're still happening Jac: well just Jac: ignore it Jac: you were the one that wanted to go back to before Amelia: I can't ignore it, it's making me sick Jac: you say I mean something to you but now you can't even be my friend Amelia: maybe I couldn't ever and never was Amelia: I don't know anymore Jac: that's bullshit Jac: we were friends, why are you saying this Amelia: I was in love with you Amelia: am Jac: but Jac: how long Amelia: I don't know Jac: we can't Amelia: we won't Jac: you will Jac: not me Amelia: I have to walk away now Jac: I have to let you Amelia: I guess you get custody of Is, she's too boy crazy to go with me Jac: She can decide herself Jac: you can decide what you tell her, I won't say anything Amelia: I wouldn't know where to begin Jac: you aren't going to tell her Jac: you know, the truth Amelia: you know me, I only tell people things I want them to know Amelia: why would I want her to know that it was all fake and wrong? Jac: it wasn't fake Jac: but I understand why you wouldn't want to, I can think of something, that doesn't make you look bad in any kind of way Jac: if you'd like Amelia: what else would you call years of memories not being what you thought they were Jac: it all still happened Amelia: Yeah but what I thought was going to happen next didn't Amelia: and that makes me doubt the rest and myself Jac: yeah Jac: that is Jac: horrible Jac: if there was something I could do, I know that's useless to say Amelia: it's not your fault or on you to try and fix Amelia: I did this to myself Amelia: Is wouldn't understand, I don't even Jac: it feels like it is Jac: it's Jac: even if I was Jac: I couldn't be the sort of girlfriend you'd deserve Amelia: please don't Amelia: I don't want you to feel bad, I literally want the opposite Jac: but I'm serious Jac: I didn't even listen to a word Connell said, I barely laughed at any of his jokes Jac: I'm just awful Jac: it's okay to do that to a boy but I wouldn't want to treat you like that Amelia: it wouldn't be okay if a boy treated you like I have either Amelia: we're probably even Jac: There's some really nice girls that are out now Amelia: I know you're trying to help me but stop Jac: okay Amelia: I can't do it Jac: who are you going to go 'round with at school though Jac: what are you going to do Amelia: fuck school, it's transition year Jac: Oh, Amelia Jac: I feel sick Amelia: me too Jac: does your mum hate me Amelia: of course not Amelia: she can't hate you for liking boys if she doesn't hate me for not Jac: I knew she would never not love you Jac: no matter what Amelia: I was never worried about my parents either Amelia: I think they knew before me anyway Jac: That's important Jac: and makes me feel a bit better Amelia: maybe they'll homeschool me and people can think I'm weird for something that actually is Jac: would you like that? Amelia: not really Amelia: my mum's less annoying, she's still a lot Jac: yeah Jac: loads of people want to be your friend Jac: you'll get taken in by someone so fast Amelia: maybe but I'll be okay if not Amelia: no need to be Savannah-ish about it Jac: I'd hate it Amelia: you don't have to worry about it Jac: I hope so Amelia: trust me Jac: Is might go with you Amelia: I don't think so Jac: Is this real? Amelia: Yeah Amelia: it'll feel like it when I ruin the best friends forever thing without giving her a good reason why, she'll probably never shut up about it Jac: I don't care about her Jac: no offence Jac: I mean us Jac: not being best friends forever Amelia: that's real too Jac: right Amelia: I'm really sorry Jac: it's not your fault Jac: it's just how it has to be Amelia: I don't know what else to do Jac: no, you have to Jac: it's right for you Amelia: or I've got this wrong too Jac: you have to try Jac: you can't keep feeling bad Amelia: I'll try then Jac: I will too Jac: with leaving you be Amelia: you can take your humanities notes, I'm staying home Amelia: my mum is making me Jac: that's probably for the best too Amelia: I must look how I feel Jac: you have to believe it'll get easier Amelia: that's like the slogan Jac: just keep repeating it until it feels real Amelia: that sounds too much like something Savannah would do Jac: maybe she has a point Amelia: never Jac: 😏 Amelia: I have to go, mum's being dramatic about me lying on the floor Jac: feel better and stay safe Jac: promise Amelia: I promise not to pull any dangerous crap but I don't know how to feel better Jac: dangerous but not deadly then Amelia: 😏 if that's your audition for the dramatic one now I've gone, it was great, but it isn't me who gets the final say Jac: it means a lot coming from you Amelia: obviously Jac: See you around Amelia: or not Jac: alright Jac: sorry Amelia: you'll be at uni before you know it, you're always saying it's just around the corner Jac: so will you Jac: we all will Jac: it's still too far away Amelia: I know Amelia: tomorrow feels too far away for me after today Jac: I know what you mean Amelia: anyway Amelia: my mum's not talking to hear herself speak, apparently Jac: go on Jac: don't keep her waiting Amelia: 🏃

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Ro

Ali: what's wrong Ro: What do you mean? There's nothing wrong Ro: I'm fine, thank you Ali: why aren't you talking to us then Ro: We are talking Ro: As for her, I have no idea who she is, so forgiven me for being hesitant Ali: She goes to School with us Ali: has done for like Ali: ever Ro: Well, I've never seen her before Ali: now's the perfect chance to meet her then Ro: When she's taken god knows what, I don't think so Ali: whatever she's taken doesn't impair your ability to be courteous, does it Ali: she was being perfectly nice to you and you were quite rude, frankly Ro: Telling me how pretty I am isn't nice, it's superficial Ali: you don't lose humility points by accepting compliments, come on Ali: if anything, what did Shakespeare say about protesting too much Ro: If anything, I lose credibility for accepting compliments that are clearly that false Ro: Particularly from someone who won't remember the interaction tomorrow Ali: How is that clear Ali: at all Ro: No girls are that nice, not to me Ro: Whatever she's setting me up for, I wish for no part in Ali: not to her either, if you cast your mind back, I'm sure you'll recall her name and the bitchery attached if nothing else Ali: that's just how she is, or how high people are, if you'd prefer Ali: it's genuine Ro: Oh, that's who she is. Now it makes sense why you've taken her under your protective wing for the day Ali: excuse me? Ro: You are very much a patron saint of lost causes at times, dear sister Ro: It's genuinely to be applauded Ro: I can do that from afar though Ali: Can you? Ali: because you're doing a poor job if you claim you are currently Ro: All I'm claiming at the moment is that the spectacle of the two of you is a little much to witness in such close quarters Ali: we're enjoying the BBQ Ali: it is meant to be a party Ro: It's a family BBQ, there's very little cause or need for celebration attached Ali: that might be how you wanna do it Ali: but not me Ro: Clearly Ro: It's very apparent you wish to have your cake & eat it, regardless of whether or not you leave the grill well enough alone Ali: I'm not sure you're very sure of anything right now Ali: least of all what you think of me and my intentions Ali: just ask me Ali: or say what you mean, at the very least Ro: I'm sure I don't see your girlfriend here, and yet, I somehow I almost do Ro: The next at the very least Ali: For one, Carly is straight Ali: and for two, I'm not going to make you break up with her for me, even if I was, so there's no need to concern yourself with that Ro: I'm not sure you're very sure of her of her or her intentions, Ali Ali: I take people at face value Ali: for better or worse Ali: I'm not forcing you to do the same but surface level is a little beneath all of us, no? Ro: Is she not a little beneath you? Ali: no Ali: who is Ali: what do you even mean by that Ro: Would you or would you not be in this vastly inappropriate state right now if she was not here Ro: She's bad news is what I therefore mean Ali: I'm high, I'm not Ali: shouting racial slurs or denying the holocaust, Lord Ali: and I've been high, plenty of times Ali: a second ago you didn't know her now you're certain she's bad news Ro: I know what everyone says about her Ro: That she doesn't deny any of it, quite the opposite Ali: so? Ali: like you said, everyone says things about you too Ali: doesn't make it right, even if any of it's true Ro: I'm not proud of being scapegoated, she obviously revels in her reputation, true or otherwise Ro: Is that how you want to be now? Ali: so she should revel in shame instead? Ali: maybe it's how she deals with it, I don't suppose to know Ali: but I don't suppose to say either of you is right or wrong, either so Ro: I'm not saying she's wrong, I'm not saying anything Ali: you don't need to Ali: I know you Ro: If you knew me even slightly you wouldn't be asking me to socialise with her Ali: I'm not asking you to be her best friend, or to even say much of anything at all Ali: just not be outright rude to her when she was polite to you Ali: shy or not, there's no need Ro: I don't know how to respond to that, is all Ro: you wouldn't take it so personally if you weren't so invested in this girl all of a sudden Ali: yes I would Ali: you being rude to any of my friends Ali: or guests, frankly, as I said, no need Ali: even if you have to resort to an awkward laugh and a thanks, your reply doesn't have to match in sincerity Ro: Knowing me, as you claim, you'd be aware that I was not rude in the slightest Ro: Walking away when you have nothing nice to say is in fact the polite approach, supposedly Ali: so now I don't know you? Ali: this is just silly Ali: but fine, if that's how you'd like it, I'll take a leaf from your book Ro: You're in a silly mood & not one that I'm here to entertain, that, indeed, is what your guest is for Ali: A silly mood Ali: Patronizing, for a start Ro: Well, again, you'll have to forgive me because that is how Tess is choosing to behave towards me in light of your every action and the frustrations for her therein Ro: You get to do as you please & I have to wage war over quantities of salad that have or have not touched my plate & so Ro: Here we find ourselves Ro: On opposite sides of this party Ali: I suddenly have control over her Ali: she'd pull you up on that regardless, you know she would Ali: perhaps more politely or gently but seems tempers are flaring as hot as the weather calls for Ro: You have control over yourself, or would, if you were not intoxicated by & with your guest Ro: & I would have someone to distract me from the torment if you remembered that I'm also on the list of invited people Ali: you don't know what I'm on, even, nor the effects Ali: again, if you'd have just asked me, I'd tell you Ali: I can't very well leave her alone as soon as we arrive Ali: especially when everyone is being as unwelcoming as possible Ro: You can very well leave me alone & yet still expect me to be welcoming Ali: I've not left you alone Ali: I was trying to talk to you Ro: You were trying to get me to talk to her, it's entirely different Ali: again, what am I going to do Ali: tell her to go away for a second whilst we have a private conversation Ali: we have all the time for that Ro: You invited her, you could have not, or warned me that you were Ali: okay, I could have told you, I accept that Ali: I didn't see it being the issue it is but fair Ro: I accept that I was abrupt & could've made her uncomfortable, in spite of it not being my intention Ali: okay Ali: that's fine then Ro: I'll resolve to try harder when I'm not in as much of a trying situation as this Ali: alright Ali: do you want me to talk to mum Ro: No Ro: I want her to stop talking about me like I'm being a problem Ali: I know Ali: that just makes her think she can solve it Ali: if she puts it like that Ali: it's a her thing Ro: Why am I even a topic of conversation, aside from not having one with Carly I've done nothing wrong Ali: they just worry Ali: that's their job Ali: has to be about something Ro: She has plenty of actual things to worry about or real problems to solve Ali: well you know Ali: glutton for punishment or whatever Ro: Well, she should go be a glutton for burgers before the flies are Ali: 😂 Ali: very true Ali: and good idea Ro: My IQ may not match yours point for point but it's sufficient enough for a 💡 or two Ro: On occasion Ali: 😏 okay okay Ro: Even when my enthusiasm has dimmed because Tess is trying to fatten me up for the new school year Ali: it is autumn term Ali: anyway Ali: amount of celery in it there's like, no gain Ro: Anyway, there are no such thing as negative calorie foods Ro: Celery still has 10 per stick Ali: yeah but burn that off by giving mum dirty looks whilst nomming Ali: easy Ro: if you could burn calories with looks she'd be a lot thinner Ali: savage Ro: & Bea would be invisible Ro: Alas, she can very much be seen Ali: not for much longer Ro: Mysterious Ali: not really Ali: uni beckons Ro: She'll still have to show herself, he's here Ali: of course Ali: wouldn't be surprised if he ends up there though Ro: Very little would surprise me when it comes to the two of them Ro: if they actually parted ways for good perhaps Ali: seriously Ro: Cathy & Heathcliff wish they were that intense Ali: what actually constitutes a moor Ali: have to check Ro: Typically, uncultivated hill land Ali: Hmm, reckon we're safe then Ali: technically moutains so Ro: & there are no low lying wetlands either which also constitute moors in the south of England Ali: is where she's going so Ali: cracked it Ali: not about the prestige at all Ro: If she packs a flowing nightdress it's proven Ali: I'll get her one Ali: going away present Ro: I'll embroider something fitting on it, just give me enough time Ali: but of course Ro: I'm sure it'll be extremely appreciated Ali: 'bout all I can afford, sadly Ali: have to get a sugar daddy herself Ro: You could always regift her the work itself, we have a copy that doesn't have too much marginalia as yet, that's free Ali: you should Ali: it's a good idea Ro: Potentially Ro: There are lots of other books I could add too, as applicable in their own ways Ali: quite how she's taking all the stuff she has as is Ali: da will probably have to drive Ro: She'll probably become a minimalist just before Ro: Take almost nothing Ali: with all those clothes? Ali: good luck Ro: Capsule wardrobes are very on trend, apparently Ro: Especially for students Ali: I'll have to Ali: though I'll miss the dressing up cupboard 💔 Ro: You don't have to take shoes, that'll leave room for costumes Ali: 💡 #2 Ro: Just believe, all you have to do Ali: 🙏 Ro: 🌠 Ali: [the fraze stuff happens] Ali: I'll see you later Ali: gonna party on Ro: Oh okay Ro: With or without your friend and brother? Ali: I highly doubt he's going anywhere without Bea's say-so Ro: Is she going to follow you or her wandering eye? Ali: I don't know Ali: she's got the deets Ro: & that's fine with you Ali: Not her keeper, like Ali: no doubt any of 'em will take great delight kicking her out if she don't go of her own freewill Ro: You don't think it's odd that you consider me rude for refusing to engage in conversation but not her for flirting with your brother right in front of you when you've been flirting with each other since you arrived Ro: & goodness knows how long before that Ali: I consider it rude to Bea, at best Ali: just embarrassing for me, and the rest of us Ro: I told you, she's got no shame, you'll need to take a leaf from that same book if you're going to be friends, I think Ali: let's not Ro: Fine, but it's not me you're mad at, let's not pretend that you don't need to address this with her Ali: I'm not mad either Ali: it is what it is Ali: I don't know what you propose I should do Ali: or should want to do, even Ro: It's obvious what you want to do Ali: is it Ro: Yes Ro: To you & the rest of us Ali: It just makes me sad, if anything Ro: You're allowed to be sad that she's not immune to Fraze's charms Ro: We were all hoping for better from her Ali: very droll Ro: Very accurate Ro: I thought she only had her head turned by travelers Ali: it's not that deep, babe Ro: I did say head turned, not heart stolen Ali: like I said, not a big deal Ro: If that's true, why are you sad? Ali: I'm sad FOR her Ali: not because of Ali: that she feels the need to do these things, and would continue without any indication that she should Ro: Earlier you didn't suppose to know how she feels, now you do? Ali: I'm not that dense Ali: can continue to think it's a joke though Ali: I don't care Ro: You can't have it both ways, either it's 'not that deep' & she's free to emerge relatively unscathed as are you, or it is, & it needs to be addressed Ali: Jesus Ali: you don't get it Ali: it's not that deep like Ali: if it wasn't Fraze it'd be someone, anyone else Ali: he's irrelevant to the equation, she's not picked him to be malicious or some shit like that Ro: I understood that perfectly well Ro: & either you're both fine with that or you aren't Ro: Which is it to be Ali: just because it is doesn't mean anyone has to be fine with it Ali: never said that Ali: that's not how life works Ro: if you like her, tell her Ro: that's how life works Ali: it really isn't Ro: Yes it is Ro: pick up a book, turn on the TV, look around Ali: that's not real Ro: Every relationship started with a confession Ro: There's nothing more real Ali: just stop Ro: She'll do it for you eventually, if you're willing to wait & pine Ali: when have I ever pined Ali: you're just being stupid now Ro: Exactly my point, why start now Ali: you were giving me plenty of reasons earlier Ali: I have a girlfriend, she's straight, main two Ro: She clearly likes you too, however she identifies Ali: it isn't that simple Ro: You're making it complicated Ro: before you're even spoken to her Ali: no, I've spoken to her Ali: it was you that hasn't Ro: Oh okay & she said she wasn't interested in you romantically Ali: yeah Ro: Fine Ro: Because you've got a girlfriend or because she prefers boys Ali: because she likes boys, only Ro: Perhaps she's just a tactile person and genuinely very complimentary Ro: But that sounds way less real than anything I said that you disbelieved Ali: I dunno, okay Ali: why are you suddenly so for it though? Ro: Why wouldn't I want you to be happy? Ro: That's rude Ali: isn't she gonna drag me down Ro: I've never made any secret of how I feel about anyone you've chosen to date thus far, just because my feelings are negative towards them doesn't mean yours are Ro: Or should be Ali: neither have I Ali: Carly's going out with Ronan, you know Ro: I doubt she's going out with him Ro: not in any committed way Ali: why Ali: you know exactly how committed he can be Ro: She wouldn't be flirting with you or Fraze if she felt similarly Ali: maybe they're chill like that Ali: can't all be Bea and Fraze Ro: Change committed to traditional in that instance Ali: don't blame them Ro: Of course you wouldn't, if their relationship is open, you have your opportunity to be with her back Ali: charming Ali: I'm not that scheming Ro: I'm not sure your absent girlfriend would agree but I'm not saying that you are Ali: what are you accusing me of on her behalf then, like Ro: I'm not accusing you of anything Ali: 👍 Ro: It's Carly's motives you should be careful of Ro: If you're so certain she's not interested, well, she's definitely enjoying your attention Ali: it's no effort for me Ali: she can have it Ro: Until it makes you sad Ali: it won't Ali: no more than I can handle Ali: don't worry Ro: That's impossible, telling me not to worry is like telling the stars not to come out or trying to change the tides Ali: well Ali: I know that Ali: but you don't need to worry about me, yeah Ali: like you said, more important, real things, yeah? Ro: it is real, I saw it Ro: & you're my favourite person to worry about, on account of being my favourite person that exists beyond the pages of a book Ali: 💚💚💚 Ali: I'll come for Hermione etc crown one day Ro: You'll need strong magic Ali: I know you're never doubting my magik Ro: I like to hope nothing's changed that much Ro: but the moon's not that forthcoming when I ask her about it Ro: The cards do tell me not to doubt you however, you'll be glad to know Ali: it hasn't Ali: good Ali: I'll be asking plenty questions of my own Ali: once I'm back Ro: I'm wishing on everything there is to make them on, with fingers of course crossed, toes too Ro: You should Ro: They've cleared a lot up for me so far this summer Ali: they always bring clarity, even if not obvious at first, or the desired clarity Ro: You remember that, it's a good start Ro: Perhaps you are still in there Ali: come on Posy Ali: I've not gone anywhere Ro: You have undeniably left, the where of which is unknown to me yet Ali: only literally Ali: physically Ali: just going to a house party Ro: No, it's as true figuratively, emotionally etc Ro: The distance exists and is only widening Ali: don't say that Ro: It's happening whether I speak it aloud or not Ali: only if we let it Ali: which I won't Ro: So I'll see you tomorrow Ro: that's a promise Ali: of course Ali: 'less you're planning to pack your bag and run off into the night Ali: need t discuss who's books, clothes, everything, is whose so you can't really Ro: Not unless I can also capture a star to use as a sufficiently bright torch Ali: wait 'til sunrise, sensible Ali: Rocky's probably gonna be jumping on mum and dad's heads but don't mean they'll notice anything Ro: After yoga, of course, I have a schedule whether or not running away has been penciled in does not necessarily mean it's prioritised above all Ali: again, so sensible Ro: It is me you're speaking to Ro: wise beyond her years or precocious, if you'd rather & it's not too late for that to still apply Ali: 😂 Ro: Well goodnight, if I'm to get up with the rising of the sun for my great escape, I'd better rest a while Ali: Oíche mhaith, codladh sámh 💚 Ro: Tú grá geal mo chroí 💞 Ro: be careful tonight Ali: 🤞