#if my mom comes to wake me I'll just pretend i fell asleep after i laid down for a second. cuz i have already done my hair and put on a bra.

[bukuoshin]

I am fucking NOT going to my dentist today

[akumicchi]

𝔗𝔬 𝔟𝔢 𝔥𝔢𝔞𝔯𝔡.

112 prayers

A hopeful message with no destination.

You will never be too heavy for me.

Content: angst, breakdown, hints of depression. Suguru's POV. OC appearance.

I smelled it before I saw it. I felt it before I heard it; the presence, the humming. I had never entertained the idea of time travel. No one could actually predict a forced turn in the highway of time, even if Back to the Future made it look so comical. Despite that, I found myself basking in that presence, in that humming, and let it drive me off to when I was a child: innocent and safe.

“Mom?”, hoarse. Silence. A knot of guilt tightened itself up inside my chest. ‘Don’t go’.

“Sorry, did I wake you up?”, there weren't the walls of my room around me, no posters, no bookshelves nor pictures. In fact, there was no room at all. Just an open field I didn't know, somewhere I couldn't remember. I wasn't curled against my mother either. It was just Hogo, and it made me more at ease than expected.

Not being alert in a strange place was a punch to my instincts, but I couldn't bring myself to care aside from a simple:

“Where are we?”

“We’re at school. I carried you here, remember?”, oh yes. She and her stupidly strong arms. “You fell asleep though, so you probably don't”. 

I did remember not wanting to come, earlier that day. The air had felt like lead for the entire … month?, weighing heavy on my lungs with each breath. Every layer of clothing was a tight rope made of rubber. It didn't matter how much I tried to fight the dark clouds, they only grew thicker and tighter. It was exhausting. It'd be way easier to just give into the misery. ‘Ah… everyone would be so disappointed to see me like this, choosing the easy way. But I can't carry this and pretend anymore’. So I hid from sewing fake smiles on my face. I just wanted to drown in the pain without witnesses.

Despite that, I let her in.

“C'mon, I want to show you something.”

“I don't really feel like walking anywhere right now”, it had been four days since Tsukumo Yuki talked to me on that very bench, and left me with more thoughts than I could manage. I needed quiet. “Maybe next time”.

Hogo crouched in front of me. Her voice was soft, the one she used when talking to kids. “Please, it won't be long, I promise. We go and then we come back. You will like it”, her eyes were clouded with worry, she looked pretty like that too, “You don't even have to walk if you don't want to”.

“Hmm? How come? You can teleport now, too?”, I cocked a brow, feeling the slight tug of a smile against my will. ‘The things she makes me do’. Her hands closed and opened for a second. She wanted to hug me, and the realization of this loud and clumsy girl being so mindful around me made my chest ache. 

“Well, I'll show you if you agree to come with me”, she sang quietly with a spray of confidence.

I was so eager to get an answer to these haunting questions. Haibara’s response was as simple as his own mind. Tsukumo Yuki’s, on the other hand… It was complicated. Or maybe it wasn't? Maybe I had made my choice? But what if I was wrong? How could I know? What would she say? I wanted her thoughts, a piece of her mind to tell me…anything.

‘But not now’. The scent from her neck lulled my senses quiet. The tree leaves above our heads were kind enough to shield us from the summer afternoon. Hogo’s hand traced my skin, untangling my worries stroke by stroke. My legs were folded on her lap, and the vague memory of being cradled this way made me feel so innocent. Too warm to think. Too soft. Too comfortable.

She had a book propped up against my thigh. It was open roughly around the middle.

“What are you reading?” 

“112 prayers at midnight”, she hummed, eyes not leaving the pages.

“That's an odd number of prayers”.

“Yeah. It's a story about a non-believer trapped in a time loop trying to save his loved ones after losing them to a mistake… He prays every time for the loop to restart.”

“For a non believer he surrendered fast… At least he has a second chance”.

Silence settled between us. A few seconds later she spoke again.

“Hum, I thought about that too, ‘To pray for time to go back, it's so unfair’. But as twisted as it is, I just can't stop reading. Maybe I'll be surprised”.

“Who’s that god that answers at the first call? That's a real surprise. I'd like to meet him”, that was a slip. My throat tightened and by no means I expected how broken I actually sounded.

Her arms held me closer. When she pressed her lips against my forehead, a sob almost broke through every wall I had built.

“Me too”.

Stop being like this. Don't hold me, don't carry me somewhere calm, don't kiss me so softly. Stop making me feel so small! I don't want the sun, I don't want the breeze, I don't want clouds, or words, or songs, or flowers; I don't want any of it!!

“Shh… it's okay, I've got you”.

[romanstheory]

Simply Meant To Be Part Seven

Characters : Roman Reigns, Nala (reader)

Warnings : Visuals, Trauma, *Tw mention of drug use*, fluff

Word Count : 1,188

18 +

I take a deep breath, laying back on the bed "Well... Do you want the long version or the short version" I say. "I want which ever one you want to give me" Roman says before taking another bite of his food. "Well, I'm the only girl of 4 kids and all of my older brothers were pretty tough. They made sure I knew how to fight early on. My dad was never around because he was in and out of jail so I don't know him. My mom had a pretty bad addiction pretty much since I was a toddler" I begin, avoiding eye contact with Roman the entire time. He's silent, just listening to me talk. "So because of that I was raised by my older brothers who had to do some bad things sometimes to make sure I had food in my mouth. My mom would always pretend like she was sober, and I would get excited until she would find a reason to abandon me again" I say getting emotional.

"I kind of lived my life wanting her to want me but all she wanted was to get high" I continue "I got into a relationship where if I did anything wrong he would threaten to leave me, and I didn't understand my worth so it would break me". Roman looks at me intensely, with eyes full of sadness. "He broke me over and over again and beat me down mentally and after that was over I promised I would protect myself from everyone" I say as my nose turns red from becoming upset talking about it. "So I turned into a loner, nobody can break me again if nobody gets in". Roman crawls beside me and wraps his strong arm around me. "You make it hard to guard myself, I've never felt like this before. I don't feel scared" I say laying my head on his shoulder. "Thank you for telling me that" Roman says softly "You don't ever have to worry about any of that with me, the only time I'll ever break you is in bed" Roman and I laugh.

"Tell me your story" I say. "Mine isn't as interesting as yours" Roman begins "My dad was always on the road and back then they would be gone months at a time so basically my mom was a single mom. I played football my entire life and got involved with my ex in high school". I look up at him to let him know I'm fully listening. "The relationship was toxic from the start but being young and dumb I stayed. We had Violet after high school and things got worse. Family means so much to me so I wanted to keep my family together" Roman continues "I hated coming home but I loved seeing my baby girl, one day I came home and she decided she didn't wanna do the family thing anymore. She had her things packed and just.... left. I haven't heard from her since and neither has Violet". What a fucking bitch! How do you leave your baby like that, especially a kid like Violet.

"Well she never has to worry about that while I'm here, I love that little girl" I say resting my head back on Roman's shoulder. Roman and I spend the rest of the night cuddling before we both fell asleep

We wake up bright and early in the morning and get dressed for our road trip to the next nearby city. I toss my hair up into a messy bun and put on my comfy pants and cropped tank top, Roman tossed on his track pants and tank top. I admire his beautiful tattoos as we both grab our bags to head out. Before we leave Roman calls Violet on facetime "Hi daddy!!" She screams. "Hi honey!" Roman replies with a big smile. "Hi pretty Nala!" Violet says smiling "How are you princess?" I say smiling. We talk to violet for a while before heading on the road to the next city. Our three hour trip was full of laughs and deep talks, it brought us even closer together. We arrive at the next hotel and check in and then rush to the arena.

"I'm going to get ready a little early for our match" I say stripping down in front of Roman, I can feel him staring at my body as I switch my clothes. He decides to switch into his gear early as well. We head to catering to get some food since we hadn't ate since before our road trip. "What if tonight we do our finishers at the same time tonight?" I say taking a bite of my food "I think the crowd would really pop. Imagine you spearing Mustafa and me frog splashing Sasha. Epic" Roman nods his head "I think that sounds awesome". Roman and I finish up our food and stretch together before our match. Mustafa and Sasha enter the ring separately and then It's time for me to enter with the bloodline. The crowd goes crazy once again, at this point rumors had been floating around that Roman and I were a thing.

We dominate our match and we do our finishers at the same time, picking up the win. Hearing the crowd roar never gets old to me. Full of excitement, I jump onto Roman. His hand wraps around my thick ass and kind of looks at me in shock, he wasn't expecting me to be so bold in front of the entire world. I plant a kiss right on his lips, I had never heard a crowd scream the way they did in that moment. Roman looks at me a grins, pulling me into another deep kiss.

I jump out of his arms and we look around at the crowd for a second. Everyone is all smiles besides a few women angry that I could do what they couldn't. Pat McAfee is standing on the announce table completely shocked as Michael Cole smiles and speaks excitedly. Roman and I head backstage and we're greeted by what seems like the entire locker room. Everyone cheering for us, I was shocked because I didn't realize so many people cared about us being together. Everyone except Angel Garza who had a smug look on his face. Angel and I had a little fling a while ago and he never quite got over the fact that I didn't want to be with him. I knew he wouldn't cause trouble, but he damn sure wasn't happy. I brush it off and Roman and I head to get a shower and changed. Later that night we're relaxing in bed when Roman looks over at me "What made you jump on me like that in front of everyone?" He asks me. I look over at him "Because what's the point in hiding it?" I respond with a smirk.

Our next interview is tomorrow morning, and I know we're going to get some questions about the show. Life has changed so dramatically for me in the best way possible. After getting all of my baggage out on the table I felt lighter, more free. "If you don't mind me asking, where are you brothers at?" Roman asks me. "They're out running around doing what ever. None of us are really close, we haven't spoken in years" I answer. Roman looked at me in shock, culturally family was everything to Samoan people so to hear that I just don't speak to mine was odd to him. "So you just don't talk to your family?" He asks me. I nod, that was my normal I never thought about it being odd. "Well we gotta fix that. My family is your family now" Roman says staring into my eyes. I was a little shocked by his statement, but also happy. "After this interview in the morning we're getting Jimmy, Jey, and Naomi and going to see my parents. We're always looking for a reason to grill" Roman says laughing. I was excited to see his family but most of all I was excited to see Violet! Tomorrow needs to come faster!

[thirsttrapkingvinnie]

single dad: chapter two

"Who is this?" Maria asked.

"I'll explain in a minute mom okay? Just give me the baby. Please take Bear up to my room." Vinnie said, taking Kaiser from his mom.

Aaliyah followed the two up the stairs. She walked into Vinnie's bedroom and admired how clean and neat his things looked. She could tell just by the way his house looked that he was a well put together man.

"Let's go back down stairs so I can explain." Vinnie said, covering Kaiser up and giving him his bottle that he had learned to hold himself.

The three of the walked down the stairs, all of them sitting in a circle.

"Mom this is Aaliyah, Aaliyah this is my mom." Vinnie said.

They greeted each other but Aaliyah could tell that Maria was being cautious and observing every thing she did.

"Now please tell me what has you all worked up Vinnie." Maria folded her hands on her lap.

"I was talking to Aaliyah at the thing and B went to find seats for us. When I went over after talking to Aaliyah, Emily was sitting next to her. From what I can understand Emily didn't say anything, which is good because I would've literally become Klaus Mikaelson level angry and whooped her ass. Anyway, Bear and I had fun and she got tired so we left. I was carrying her out to the car and when I got outside Miss Dusty was leaning against my car. Bear fell asleep at the point but Emily was trying to convince me to leave the kids with you and leave with her so we could be together or some shit. Aaliyah came out and pretended to be my girlfriend and we took off and now we're here." Vinnie explained.

Maria sat there dumbfounded but quickly enough a disappointed look crossed her face. She hesitated at first but built up the courage to tell him how she really felt.

"I told you that you shouldn't have snuck behind your daughters back and done this. You know she would do this, she did it the first time." Maria expressed.

"And then I wouldn't have the son I've always wanted mom. So yeah, I shouldn't have lied to Bear but I also wouldn't have my baby." Vinnie said.

"I'm very happy you have Kaiser honey, but Emily is just going to keep coming back. She's been twisting your life around since you were 14. If she comes back in 6 years are you gonna do this again? Are you going to have a third kid and let her leave?" Maria asked.

"No mom, I'm not." Vinnie answered, rubbing his face.

He was angry. This was his mother. How could she be against him when his mind was so screwed up right now. Tears made there way to his eyes. He inhaled and wiped his eyes before making eye contact with his mom.

"Honey I didn't mea-"

"It's fine. I need to be with my kids. Aaliyah when you're ready for bed just come up to my room. I'll lay some clothes out for you to sleep in." Vinnie answered.

"Vinnie ple-"

"Just.... Not right now okay? All I wanted to do was have fun with my girl and this shit happens and it's all suddenly my fault that Emily has come back to screw with my life again. I know I'm stupid for seeing her again but I don't regret it because that would mean I regret my son and I don't. Just go home tonight mom. I'll see you tomorrow before work." Vinnie walked up the stairs before his mom could even speak.

—— Vinnie lay awake on his bed, Bear on his chest fast asleep and Kaiser asleep in his crib. He looked into the doorway of his bedroom to see Aaliyah walking in.

"Can I change in your restroom?" She whispered, careful not to wake Vinnie's babies.

He nodded and pointed to the bathroom. She smiled and walked in to change.

He looked down at his sleeping daughter and all he could think about was how she'd never live the life that he lived. She only had one parent in her life and he couldn't imagine how hard it could be from a child's standpoint because he never experienced it.

"I'm sorry I failed you Bear. I'm sorry I wasn't good enough for her to stay with. I'm sorry I went behind your back and did what I did." Vinnie whispered, tears leaving his eyes as he rubbed her back.

"No matter what you did daddy, I still love you and you were good enough for her to stay with, her mom just made her dumb." Bear whispered back sleepily.

Vinnie chuckled softly at her snarky remark about her. Bear always knew how to lighten up someone's mood in the most painful of times.

"Her mom was pretty dumb herself." Vinnie answered.

"Dumb equals dumb." Bear mumbled, falling back to sleep rather quickly on her fathers chest.

"I'm back." Aaliyah said softly as she crawled into the bed next to Vinnie.

Vinnie smiled at her before looking away. It was silent as both of them tried to fall asleep. Aaliyah was almost asleep but Vinnie couldn't.

"Thank you for staying with me." Vinnie whispered.

"You're welcome."

"Goodnight Aaliyah."

"Goodnight Vinnie."

[mmmeeeeeeeoooooowww]

"Happy birthday!" She said.

"Ah,thank you," I replied,not knowing that it is going to be the worst birthday ever.

It was on Saturday,my 13th birthday,which means there would be badminton training. I had a plan to tell my dad that I don't want to go to badminton on that day and just chill out at home. But no. He already made a plan saying that I will and must go to badminton training. It kinda sucked. I never liked badminton...

So instead,I went,without arguing. After the training,we went back home,took a shower and my dad said we'll be going out to eat and celebrate my birthday. So I thought, 'Maybe today isn't such a bad day after all. Maybe it's just bad in the beginning...' but nooooo. I was wrong.

On the way to the mall,it was quiet at first,but when we were nearing the destination,my sister suddenly asked me "What are you going to get for your birthday present?" And I said "What birthday present?" Then she said "You know,it's your birthday,so what are going to get?" And i just said, "Ah, I didn't thought about that..."

I actually never wanted a birthday present. The reason why was because,every time,when I saw a book I liked,I always asked my dad to get me the book. Especially when there are book sales,me and my mom would get lots of books and my dad would say that it'll be my next year birthday and I promised him that it will be my next year birthday. But I've never kept the promise...

So on that time of the year,my birthday, I wanted to keep the promise. I don't want a birthday present. I just want the day to get better,not just birthday presents...

So,after my sister asked that, I told her I'll think about it. But after awhile,she asked me whether if I am thinking about it and I was like, "What am I supposed to get? Another book? I can't ask for another book shelf since I already have two..." And then my dad said, "Another book? Why do you always want books for your birthday?" And I replied, "Because I don't know what else to get," and he said "But I thought last year you bought a book that is supposed to be you this year's birthday gift" and I wanted to scream saying 'WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT FROM ME??? MY DAY IS ALREADY BAD ENOUGH FOR ME AND NOW YOU'RE TAUNTING ME?? I ALREADY SAID I DON'T WANT A PRESENT BUT YOU JUST KEPT ASKING. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME???' but, obviously I didn't... I just shrugged my shoulders saying "I don't know,"

So,after that,we went to the mall, and then we also went to the bookshop. My sister said she wanted to get revision books and so we went. We went inside,my sister was looking at the revision books,while I just walked alongside my mother,looking at books with no intention of buying any. And when my sister went to pay up, I was standing beside my dad and my mom,waiting for her turn to pay.

Suddenly my dad asked me, "Where's your book?" And and I said "I didn't get any," then he asked "Why not?" And I replied "Because I thought you were joking," then he said, "No I wasn't,go get a book," and so I did.

I went to the fiction aisle. I searched for the book I have been eyeing for a long time that I never mentioned to my parents before. I took the book and went back to where my parents were waiting for me. I showed my dad the book. And he said, "This book?" "Yes," I replied. Then he said "What's so nice about this book? Are you sure you want this book? Why do you like this kind of book? Why not take something that benefits you? Like your sister, getting revision books huh?" After he said all those, I just nodded my head,not wanting to hear more,tears started coming,but I held it in. Trying to keep a smile on, I nodded my head as in agreement to anything he just said. After that,he told me, "Nevermind,go pay up. Go get the card from your sister," seeing as my sister had already paid,she gave me the card. I stood in line waiting for my turn,holding back tears. My dad and sister went outside to wait for me while my mom stayed inside with me. I kept thinking, 'What's wrong with me. Why am I crying? It's my birthday, I shouldn't be crying. Plus, just crying over a stupid book. This day is just going to be the worst' I tried so hard to tell myself to stop crying. Saying it's useless to cry about this little thing. But I just can't stop myself from shedding a few tears.

It's useless to cry,isn't it?

After that,when I went outside with my mum,we went to get dinner. I held my mum's hand, while my sister and dad went ahead,going to the direction of the restaurant. I held my mum's hand tightly, letting her know that I'm not ok. For the whole day, I only walked beside her,not wanting my sister and my dad to look at me,for they would scold me for looking like that.

Making a sad face.

After we had our dinner,we went home,and I still felt sad. I went to bed early,and when everyone was asleep, I started crying. I couldn't stop. I felt so sad and hurt that I just don't want to wake up. I fell asleep while crying. And when morning comes, I just don't want to wake up,come out of my room. I just felt like staying under my blanket and wishing this feeling, would just go away.

I just couldn't help myself.

When Monday came,it was time for school. I felt relieved that i can go to school and stay away from my family for a while. But other than that, I felt more relieved to know that I can go to school to tell my best friend what happened. Hoping that she'd comfort me. I told her. And she said, "Don't worry. You may be having a hard time right now,but one day it'll get better. It's all going to be ok," and I felt a little better because she doesn't criticizes me about everything I tell her,unlike my family. But then ever since that day, I still couldn't shake the sad feeling away,as if it scarred me so bad. I tried being happy but it just wouldn't go away. I go to school, plastering a fake smile, pretending to be 'okay', but I wasn't. I am not okay. After what happened that day, I just don't have the heart to smile anymore.

It just hurt so much that I am not okay anymore.

Even until my next birthday. My 14th birthday. I just couldn't smile anymore. It just hurt so much to smile. I don't even feel excited for my birthday anymore like how I used to when I was a kid. My parents were taking pictures of me with my cake, saying "Smile~" and I tried. I really tried. But I just can't smile properly. And they just asked me,"Why aren't you smiling? Why can't you smile properly. Just smile. How hard is it to smile?" And I just said "I am smiling. Isn't this a proper smile?" I said,trying to smile a happily as I can. But I couldn't. It's just so tiring being happy all the time.

Now every time when it's someone's birthday,it just reminds me of what happened on that day. I tried to forget about it,saying that it's the past. But it just hurts so bad. Recently,it was my sister's birthday. And I wanted to feel happy. Because its supposed to be a happy day. It's her birthday. No matter how hard I try, I just feel this pain stabbing in my heart. It just hurts so bad.

To me,it's not a 'happy' birthday anymore.

[echoes-of-realities]

be my fire in the cold (and I'll be waiting by the mistletoe) - 21/25

* * *

[From the Start] // [Fanfiction] // [ao3]

[Previous Chapter] // [Next Chapter]

Chapter Summary: Brittany invites Santana over for Christmas supper; Santana should have known that the Pierce’s would all be as endearingly charming as Brittany.

Notes: Thanks for being so patient the past couple days! My school year started late so they pushed our end of term late too, so this week has been crazy busy but the chapter’s here now and it’s still on time in my timezone lmao.

Forgive any mistakes in this because I just did one last checkover while severely sleep deprived lmao. Tomorrow’s chapter will either be up early morning or late afternoon!

Chapter 21: hot chocolates and crackers and family smiles

///

Santana’s drifting in and out of a dream filled with blonde hair and blue eyes when she registers that her phone is ringing. She groans and buries herself further under her blanket, desperate for even a couple more seconds of sleep. After all the excitement yesterday she had thought she would immediately crash after crawling into bed last night, but she ended up wide awake for most of the night, her mind continuing to replay the disbelieving and overjoyed look on Brittany’s face once she saw her family sitting there in that back room. Despite all that she’s overcome and done in her life, she’s pretty sure her proudest moment was last night, when Brittany turned back to her with that tender, adoring on expression on her face that made it impossible for Santana to doubt that Brittany returns her feelings.

She’s, like, almost one-hundred percent positive that Brittany is as in love with her as Santana is with Brittany, because the look on her face last night was so simple and honest that Santana can’t imagine what else it could be.

Her phone stops ringing and she sighs, still drifting between sleep and consciousness, but there’s barely a moment of silence before it starts ringing again, finally tipping her towards consciousness. Santana grumbles as she emerges from her pile of blankets and glares at her vibrating phone on the bedside table. It’s a two show day, which means she really should answer her phone in case there’s some emergency at the theatre that desperately needs to be addressed, but that doesn’t mean she’s going to be happy about it.

She finally grabs her phone and answers it with a grunt that could, generously, be interpreted as a hello.

The laughter that answers her is like the best alarm clock in the world.

“Brittany!” Santana says, and instantly she’s wide awake. She wonders if she could record Brittany’s laugh and use that as an alarm instead of whatever prerecorded sounds are on her phone because it does a much better job of waking her up than her real one.

“Took you long enough to answer grumpypants,” Brittany teases, and the smile in her voice brings one to Santana’s face in return.

“I thought you where the ghosts of the theatre trying to get me to come in early,” Santana yawns.

“Forget the ghosts of Christmas past, the ones with bowties and too big egos are much more terrifying,” Brittany agrees with a laugh.

Santana hums and lets her eyes close, pretending, just for a moment, that Brittany’s voice isn’t coming through her phone and is instead right beside her. She imagines how nice it would be to be wrapped around Brittany right now; Brittany’s always so warm and Santana’s always so cold, and she always sleeps the best when Brittany’s breathing is the soundtrack for her dreams, her heartbeat lulling her to sleep like—

“—so would you like to?”

Santana blinks her eyes open, startling back to the present. “I’m sorry, what?”

Brittany laughs, high and fluttery, and Santana can hear the hint of nerves radiating from the sound. “Did you fall back asleep?”

“No,” Santana protests immediately, and then, after Brittany’s little disbelieving noise, she adds sheepishly, “Maybe a little?”

Brittany giggles and there’s a moment of silence where they just listen to the other smile before Brittany restarts her question. “I was saying, before you so rudely fell asleep on me—”

“Hey!” Santana protests around a laugh. “It’s not my fault you called at,” she pulls her phone away from her head to check the time, “seven thirteen in the morning!”

“—that Holly gave me the day off since my family’s here,” Brittany continues as if Santana hadn’t interrupted her, “and it would give Jane some real experience on stage. So I was wondering if you wanted to have Christmas supper with my family tonight?” she asks and basically causes all of Santana’s body to shut down as all functions are redirected towards trying to stop her heart from leaping out of her chest.

“Really?” she whispers, “I don’t wanna, like, intrude or anything.”

“You wouldn’t be,” Brittany hurries to insist. “My mom suggested it, actually, and I’d—” Brittany’s voice drops to a whisper and for a moment Santana feels like they might be the only two people in the entire world, “I’d really love it if you came.”

Santana’s heart swells in her chest until it feels too big and too bright for her body to contain it, and then just as quickly a sudden, disappointing thought strikes her and her heart crumples and shrinks like a crumped up paper towel. “Britt, I’d love to,” she sighs, “but it’s a two show day. I won’t be out of the theatre until, like, after eleven.”

“Well,” Brittany drawls sheepishly, “I may have mentioned that to Holly and she may have offered to give you the second show off, since you were hired on such short notice with no complaint and Holly said she really appreciated it and you deserve a little break and also so Quinn can get some more experience running the show. Only if you want of course!” Brittany adds hurriedly. “No pressure or anything! I totally get it if you don’t want to because you don’t know my family and I know they can kinda be a bit much sometim—”

“I’d love to,” Santana interrupts quietly, and she can hear Brittany’s teeth click as her jaw snaps closed.

“Really?” she breathes.

Santana grins into the darkness and snuggles further into her blankets, the warmth surrounding her nothing compared to the warmth in Brittany’s voice. “Definitely,” she promises.

Santana just listens to Brittany smile for a long moment, before Brittany manages a “Cool” that barely contains her happiness it’s so bright and warm. “You can just come over after the matinee or whenever. Mercedes and Sam are coming after the evening show too, so.”

“Okay, see you then,” Santana murmurs.

“See you,” Brittany whispers and there’s a beat of silence, a farewell missing that is unspoken but not unfelt, before they both whisper bye and the same time and giggle as they hang up.

Santana clutches her phone tightly in her hand and turns to bury her face into her pillow, willing herself not to burst from the dizzying force of the love that courses through her body, before she finally gets out of bed to get ready for the show.

///

Santana spends the entirety of rehearsals and the matinee being mercilessly teased by, in turn, Quinn, Mercedes, Mike, and then Tina.

At least Tina is helpful about her teasing; Quinn just smirks at her the entire morning of rehearsals and then even more during show, somehow both amused and haughty, Mercedes and Mike won’t stop making kissy faces and cooing at her the entire lunch break when she eats with them, both of them ganging up on her completely unfairly, but Tina is the only one who is actually useful while she’s teasing. She helps Santana redo her makeup after the matinee so its less I’m an exhausted production stage manager don’t talk to me or I’ll snap and more I’m confidently meeting my not-yet-a-girlfriend girlfriend’s parents despite not being confident, like, at all, and then helping Santana pick out an outfit without either of them even being near her closet because Tina just knows her so well.

“I can’t believe you’re actually worried about making a good impression,” Tina mumbles as she concentrates on getting Santana’s eyeliner just right, “You’ve already made such a good impression that I don’t think there’s any left for the rest of us.”

“That’s not how it works, twinkle toes,” Santana snarks.

“I know that you doofus,” Tina says with a dramatic eye roll, “I’m just showing you how absolutely ridiculous you sound for thinking even for a second that her family won’t like you.”

“I know it’s just—” Santana cuts herself off and looks away quickly. She looks so fretful that Tina doesn’t even scold her for almost causing Tina to draw a black line across her temple with the eyeliner. “If— If Brittany and I start dating,” Tina snorts a little because please they’ve basically been dating since the moment they met, “She’s never going to meet my family, unless they all pull their heads out of their homophobic asses, which will probably happen about the same time I marry a man, so never.” Tina quiets and gently strokes her hand over Santana’s shoulder until Santana finally glances back up with a slightly watery smile. “That’s why this is so important,” she continues quietly, “Because they’re— I don’t have anyone to introduce her to and— I mean—”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Tina coos before Santana’s tears can even fully form, “I get it. I know why this means so much to you— You’re getting the chance to have a family again.” Santana just nods, not trusting herself to speak, and Tina lets her wallow for a moment before she smiles a little. “But you don’t gotta worry about that. After yesterday I already know her parents adore you, and I only meet them in passing.”

Santana sighs and murmurs her thanks, tilting her head back up and allowing Tina to return to carefully applying Santana’s makeup.

“Tina?” Santana says quietly, and Tina hums a little in acknowledgement as she carefully taps the mascara brush to Santana’s eyelashes. “I already have a family,” she admits quietly.

There’s really nothing Tina could say to that statement than what Santana’s already said, so instead she just folds Santana into her arms and holds her tightly. “You know Mike and I have arguments all the time about which of us gets you for our future wedding party,” she jokes, as if this hasn’t been a real concern whenever Mike and Tina discuss their hypothetical future wedding, “Mike insists on claiming you as his best woman because you two are bros but I always call dips on you as my maid of honour because I knew you first and finders keepers, losers weepers, Michael.”

Santana’s laughter is muffled against her shoulder. “I should totally exploit this and make you duel each other for my affections.”

“Oooh that’s a good idea,” Tina says mock-seriously, and then, completely serious, “I’d crush Mike though.”

Santana giggles and settles again, her insecurity fading under Tina’s comforting embrace.

///

Santana hasn’t had Christmas with anyone besides her mom, and sometimes her mom’s chill younger sister when she’s in the country, since her abuela disowned her all the way back in high school. It’s stung deeply every year no matter how hard her mom would work to keep her mind from dwelling on the thought, but now, surrounded by the laughter and playful teasing of the Pierces, it feels like a distant memory of another life.

She’s spent the last four Christmases alone, but watching Brittany and her sister gang up on their dad with two rolls of wrapping paper while she helps Whitney cut up vegetables in the kitchen reminds her why she used to love the holiday so much when she was younger; back when her abuela would hold her hand at midnight mass and sneak her chocolates from her pocket when the minister wasn’t looking, when her and her cousins would terrorize the neighbourhood with their Crazy Carpets and sleds, when her mom would always wake her up in the morning so they could make homemade cinnamon buns, just the two of them, for breakfast before opening their presents, Santana’s presents always wrapped with care after her mom picked up so many overtime shifts to afford whatever Santana wanted for Christmas that year, her mom’s presents always sloppily handmade or cheaply bought with the money she got for walking Mrs. Sandia’s dog from down the street.

She forgot what it’s like to be surrounded by the joyful chaos of a family who loves so loud.

A hand on her arm startles her out of her thoughts and she jolts a little, turning to find Whitney smiling softly at her. “Penny for your celery,” she says quietly.

Santana glances down in surprise; she hadn’t even realized she was finished slicing the celery. She should probably pay more attention and not zone out when she has a knife so close to precious fingertips. She quickly sets the knife down and allows Whitney to reach across her and take the cutting board so she can dump the celery into the stuffing. “I just—” Santana starts, and then quiets for a long moment. “I just forgot how much I missed this,” she finally admits, quiet and honest. “My extended family didn’t really like that I’m— Well I haven’t seen them since I was in high school, and for so long it was just me and my mom which was perfectly fine with me. But then after—  After everything, it was just me after.”

Whitney sets the cutting board down and turns to pull Santana into a tight hug, her arms strong and warm just like Brittany’s always are and the thought makes Santana smile. “Blood doesn’t always create love,” she says wisely, and Santana’s eyes wander to the living room and catch on Brittany and her dad, giggling as they hang garland from the window.

They look nothing alike; Brittany’s about a foot taller and all California girl beauty, blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes and summer sun freckles where her dad is straight hair and coffee dark eyes and clear skin, but they have the same smile, one that quirks their lips up and spreads them thin, scrunching their cheeks up to their eyes until they’re actually glowing from within, a smile that Santana can’t help but return whenever she sees it no matter what’s going on around her.

How some people don’t think that Pierce is her dad because of something as dumb as biology is beyond her; she knows better than anyone that blood doesn’t mean anything unless you choose to make it mean something.

“Thank you,” she mumbles into Whitney’s shoulder, “For letting me crash your family-time today.”

Whitney shakes her head, pressing a motherly kiss to Santana’s temple as she pulls away, releasing Santana to brush dark hair back from her face. “Of course,” she says, her lips quirking up into a small smile as she playfully pinches Santana’s cheeks before growing serious again. “You make my little girl happier than I’ve ever seen her,” she continues, and heat prickles Santana’s cheeks, “and you made today possible, so, really, thank you.”

Santana’s still blushing when Brittany wanders into the kitchen a couple minutes later, her uninhibited smile growing wider as she watches Santana and her mom work side by side in the kitchen.

“What?” Santana says self-consciously, but Brittany just shakes her head wordlessly, refusing to say anything. She doesn’t have to, because between Brittany’s bashful-hopeful look and Whitney’s knowing smile, Santana knows exactly what Brittany’s thinking, and there’s nothing she wants more than for Brittany’s thoughts to come true, for her to be doing this with the Pierces for years to come.

///

After supper Whitney and Brittany disappear to her room to hunt for a deck of cards in her closet, one that Santana promises she one-hundred percent saw when her and Brittany were looking for Christmas tree ornaments the other day. Pierce is as goofy and sweet as his daughter, and Brittany’s sister is as snarky and teasing as her sister, and Santana takes great joy in watching the Pierces and matching their characteristics and mannerisms to Brittany’s, finding that she fits in with them as easily as she fits with Brittany.

After a couple minutes of being recruited into helping Brittany’s sister hunt through the kitchen drawers to see if there’s a deck of cards there, she heads down the hallway to see if Whitney and Brittany had any luck; she’s pretty sure the deck was in the crumbling cardboard box with half its lid missing that her and Brittany shoved to the very back of the closet shelf.

The sound of her name catches her attention as she nears Brittany’s room, and she slows to a stop and pauses outside the doorway. The light from Brittany’s lamp—the lightbulb in the ceiling light went out yesterday morning and Brittany hadn’t had time to replace it yet—spills out into the hallway and casts Brittany and Whitney’s shadows long and looming on the opposite wall as she concentrates on the conversation in Brittany’s room.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me that you have a girlfriend?” Whitney asks incredulously and Santana’s heart relocates to her throat, somehow pounding in her ears all the way down to her toes. “You’ve already told me so much about Santana this past month, you could have told me she was your girlfriend not just your friend, you know I don’t care who you date as long as they treat you right, and Santana so obviously does that.”

“No, it’s not— It’s not that— It’s just—” Brittany stutters, but her mom just continues to talk over her.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed, sweetie,” Whitney promises, “your dad and I think she’s wonderful. And not just for flying us out here. I’d don’t think I’ve ever, in your whole life, seen you as happy and settled as you are around her, and she absolutely lights up whenever you walk in the room. You don’t have to be scared that we won’t approve or something. I mean how could we disapprove, we adore her already.”

“I didn’t tell you because she’s not—” Brittany stutters, and Santana can easily picture the soft flush to her cheeks, “We’re not— I mean, we are but we aren’t, you know?”

She can see Whitney shake her head in the shadow on the hallway wall. “I— I don’t think I follow.”

Brittany laughs a little, her shadow dancing a little with the motion. “It’s okay, I don’t think I was following either.”

Whitney’s shadow shifts closer to Brittany’s until they’re indistinguishable from each other. “Why don’t you try again?” she offers.

Brittany takes a deep, steadying breath, and when she speaks Santana can hear the smile in her voice. “We only went on our first official date on Monday,” she explains softly, “But we’ve kinda been unofficially dating, like, every single day since we meet, more or less.”

“So then,” Whitney’s voice trails off and Santana wonders if her brows quirk in the same way her daughter’s does.

Brittany laughs a little and it looks like her shoulders shrug by the way the shadows twitch near their combined heads. “I mean, you know me, I’m usually pretty content to just let whatever happens happen.”

“But you already know what you want,” Whitney says knowingly.

Brittany laughs again, her voice bright and happy. “Of course I do, I want to be her girlfriend for, like, a really, really, really long time.”

Santana’s pretty sure she stops breathing entirely. She had known, of course, or at least suspected, but hearing it said aloud kind of makes Santana want to run up to the rooftop and shout that Brittany S. Pierce, the most amazing and brilliant and snarky and sweet girl in the entire world, wants to be her girlfriend; no one else’s, just her girlfriend.

She takes a moment to compose herself before she sneaks back to the kitchen, finding Pierce and Brittany’s sister engaged in hot chocolate making.

“Did they find it?” Brittany’s sister asks as soon as she spots Santana.

Santana panics for a moment shrugs, opting for honesty. “I dunno, it sounded like they were having a serious conversation so I didn’t interrupt.”

Brittany’s sister eyes her for a moment—and Santana is suddenly thankful her blush is never too obvious to people who don’t know her really well—before she shrugs and turns back to the fridge to locate the whipped cream.

Pierce glances up from putting the kettle on and grins at Santana, who’s hovering awkwardly at the end of the kitchen counter. “Has Brittany ever taught you how to make our World Famous Pierce Hot Chocolate?” Pierce asks. Brittany’s sister catches Santana’s gaze over her dad’s head and rolls her eyes, circling her finger around her temple as she shakes her head, causing Santana to bite back a grin. When Santana shakes her head Pierce gasps, apparently scandalized and insulted by the fact. “Well we gotta fix that right away,” he insists, urging Santana closer, “Now it’s a secret family recipe but you seem to have a friendly face so I’ll trust you with it.”

Brittany’s sister snorts from across the kitchen at her dad’s antics. “It’s not a secret family recipe if you keep sharing it with people not named Pierce, dad,” she chides teasingly.

“Nonsense,” Pierce says with a wink in Santana’s direction, “Everyone in this household today is an honorary Pierce.”

Santana blushes at Pierce’s words—at the thought of being a Pierce—and listens avidly to the family recipe, feeling more Christmasy than she has in years.

///

By the time Santana—for the seventh time, not that anyone’s counting—gets her ass whooped by all the Pierces at every card game they know, the evening show at the theatre should just be calling half hour, which means there’s a half hour before the live action How the Grinch Stole Christmas is going to start. While Whitney and Pierce decline the next hand of Blackout and disappear into the kitchen to make popcorn and pull out all sorts of snacks, Brittany’s sister takes it upon herself to teach Santana the best way to beat Brittany. For someone who’s being ganged up on, Santana doesn’t think she’s ever seen Brittany look happier; though she would be lying if this whole day, being so easily accepted into the Pierce family, hasn’t made Santana happier than ever either.

Pierce and Whitney emerge with snacks just as Santana successfully wins her first hand for the very first time all night, and Brittany’s pout at losing is completely useless because she has to hide her smile behind her cards; Santana can still see it in her sparkling blue eyes though.

Whitney and Pierce distribute snack bowls before sinking down in the couch, Brittany’s sister quickly claiming the third cushion, glancing between the only seat left, the armchair perpendicular to the couch, and Brittany with a challenging smirk.

Santana’s a little behind on the uptake, because before she knows it she’s being dragged off the living room floor and tugged down onto Brittany’s lap in the armchair. Brittany’s soft and warm and blushing under her, and Santana’s thankful for the darkened living room because it hides her own blush as she sinks into Brittany’s arms, Brittany’s admission to her mom earlier at the forefront of her mind.

“Hi,” Brittany whispers as Pierce searches through the channels to find whatever one is playing the movie.

Santana sucks in a deep breath; from where she’s perched she can feel every breath Brittany takes, every tiny movement of her thighs, every stroke of her hands over her own legs, burning her fingerprints into Santana’s skin with her touch. “Hi,” she manages.

The armchair is tucked into the corner, not private but a little bit removed from the other occupants in the room. Brittany adjusts them a little more, wiggling around underneath Santana until she can grab the bowls of snacks beside the armchair and pass them to Santana as she manhandles Santana until they’re both more comfortable, Santana’s butt tucked between the arm of the chair and Brittany’s thighs, her legs draped over Brittany’s so she’s curled completely into Brittany’s lap.

There’s still ten minutes before the movie so Whitney offers to get drinks for everyone, disappearing to the kitchen while Pierce and Brittany’s sister get into a discussion about the best Christmas movies of all time.

Brittany’s fingers tracing small hearts on her legs draws Santana’s attention away from an argument about the merits of Elf versus The Santa Clause, both of which are obviously inferior to Home Alone, the best Christmas movie ever, in Santana’s humble and obviously correct opinion.

When Santana meets blue eyes through the dim of the living room she’s suddenly struck by the realization of how much she wants to be doing this for the rest of forever.

“I’m really glad you came today,” Brittany whispers, her breath warm and sweet from chocolate and honey roasted peanuts, “I just— Having you here was just— It was—”

“I know,” Santana says quietly, her smile making her cheeks ache from how wide it is, “I know what you mean.”

Brittany hums and her hands relocate to loop around Santana’s waist and hug her tightly. Santana sighs and leaves the bowl of snacks in her lap to balance against gravity on its own as she wraps her arms around Brittany and nuzzles into her. “Yeah, that’s,” Brittany starts and then seems to lose her thoughts as Santana’s lips press fleetingly to the sensitive skin of her neck. “That’s,” she tries again, but then gives up and just cuddles Santana to her instead of trying to form a coherent thought.

Their snacks are long forgotten—as are their drinks once Whitney returns with them—as they just cuddle in the darkness and watch the movie, Brittany’s fingers trailing along Santana’s legs and Santana’s playing with Brittany’s hair, occasionally grabbing Brittany’s fingers to play with to throughout the movie.

Just as the Grinch is in the middle of stealing Christmas from the Whos, Brittany’s lips find her ear in the dark, pressing briefly to the peak of her cheekbone before they locate their target. “There’s nothing I want more than to do this next year too,” she breathes, like she’s standing at a wishing well with her eyes shut tight and a penny clutched in her hand, like she’s making her greatest wish in the world before flicking her penny into the darkness, like she’s hoping more than anything that it will come true.

Santana turns her head a little so she can look into Brittany’s eyes, her lips hitting Brittany’s nose on the way past. “Me too,” she promises quietly.

Brittany’s eyes soften and melt and Santana falls straight into the adoration and love sparkling there and she knows—she knows—more than she’s ever known anything else in her entire life, that she’s going to be falling in love with those blue eyes every single day for as long as Brittany will have her.