#if my bestie haven't moved in with me and my boyfriend wasn't there idk what I would do

[deetherusalka]

Not seeing the person I broke up with and just cutting all contact is one thing but loosing the whole friend group and loosing all contact in school cuz I don't have classes anymore and others either graduating or leaving uni and just being almost alone with my thesis is really sending me into downward spiral

[wench-and-jezebel]

Sherlock Holmes (2009) Reaction:

Jezebel (@typicalopposite) reacts [with occasional asides by Wench (@scripted-downfall)]

[This reaction is sponsored by the Actual Snack Food I'm eating: I has a soda.  Be proud!]  Same!  Mtn dew!  It’s been a while since I had one… I’ve already drank three ☠️

Oh suspenseful music

RDJ!  He loooks so different without facial hair  [He does indeed]

Oooooof.  Ouch  [That was a very... awkwardly placed shimmy down to the knee tho… Buddy, why you getting that close?]

So like Sherlock’s thing. Is he’s really smart? Orrrr  [Ma'am-  Do you not know Sherlock Holmes?]  I know he’s a detective?  [Okay, hold up.  Pause… This is kinda a crucial bit of information ☠️]  Ok  [His thing is being observant.  And yes, being well versed in a lot of subjects, but-]  Soooo like shawn  [Yes, like Shawn.  Pretty much exactly like Shawn, but a little more drug addicted and differently fixated (e.g. not pop culture, and more science in general)]

Is that John?  [Yes]  Well.  I’m already seeing some Things.  “I like the hat”  “Thanks just picked it up”  [Also… "I thought I left the stove on" "You did"  DOMESTIC BLISS AT ITS FINEST]

Oh shit Watson got moves too  [Ma'am, Watson was in the military aksldjf]  Idk why I thought he just stood to the side like an npc  [Nah, he was an army doctor]

☠️☠️☠️☠️  [Oop-]  “Your colleague… won’t be moving with you”  [*simultaneously* "Your colleague?  Won't be moving with you, will he?"  Hmmmmm, why you asking, bud?]  ☠️☠️☠️ SBC

Aw man Watsons leaving.  Well, “Leaving”  [No wonder Holmes is moody]  Does he tho?  [I say nothing]

He’s like I must make myself look mentally unstable…. Oh I always do… damn

[Men will get on their knees in front of their best bro buds]  Detective bros? Crime solving bros?  Mystery bros?  Hmmm…   [Baker Street Bros]  YESSSSS OMG

[Poor pup :(]

Eww, not the woman  [Holmes not wanting to meet his best bro bud's girlfriend/fiancee]  

“You wear a jacket”  Why did you think I wouldn’t like this? ☠️☠️  [I said I couldn't remember it well aslkdfjalskdfj  It's been years since I saw it.  I said I wasn't going to stake my rep on it]

The smile.  THE SMILEEEE!  I LOVE RDJ

YESSSS

Oooof… Oh, let me fangirl over my love- your fiancé

Oh, ma’am… You shouldn’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to

I THOUGHT HE SAID “YOU’RE STUPID”  [alskdjf nope]  BUT HES MAKING HER FEEL IT ANYWAY  [I mean, she did ask]  OOOOOOOOOOF

WELL DAMN, HE AIN'T EVEN PHASED [That's another thing about Holmes... He does tend to be a bit arrogant.]  

What is happening?!?  [Holmes boxes]  Victorian-era boxing

Oooooof, sweeet lord.  This is hurting me

They are like… well damn

[Did I mention the drug-addicted bit?  He used morphine and cocaine in the books.]

Then you’d be a bastad.

Oh look: Bastad.

That looks unsafe

[Watson sulking]  Well, damn.  [Boyfriends bickering]  ☠️☠️☠️  Like every single line, I’m like.  Yep.  I be seeing the it.  [Yeahhhh me too.  Like I said, it was years ago that I watched this last, but now.  Now I see it.]  If I didn’t know there was hella fanfics I would already be checking, but I’ve seeeeeen it.  [I think most are about Sherlock tho.  Not Sherlock Holmes (2009)]  A lot I’ve read are for this one [Oh.  Well okay then.  I yield to your expertise.  I haven't looked ☠️]  I seek them

[Bruh, even this interaction verges on.  Things.]

Oh shit.  The way he slid into those bars

Buddy he has no sane thoughts in his head  [Which buddy?]  The bad guy

Ack.  Sweet lord

["Death is only the beginning"  They plagiarized The Mummy aslkdjfa;lskdfj]  Oh damn

Or is it 👀👀

Rachael McAdams!!!  I love her!

[This is a slightly less malicious BBC Musketeers Athos/Milady, btw]

Oh, burn: “And you’re between husbands”

[Actually, ma'am... I wouldn't put it passed you to poison an envelope, ngl.  Milady-coded.]

Ohhh Watson being pouty and jealous now  [What else is a guy's bud bro bestie to do?]

The screech  [Matt Meese-sounding mf]  Oh ☠️😂😂😂  

I’m ded.  He fell into the building

[WATSON]  “It’s nothing to do with me”  [LITERALLY DOING THE NAIL THING]

[“‘You’ means ‘us’”  "’You’ means ‘you’"  Watson, don't pretend]

Ackkk Marryyyy 😤😤 the name just keeps a bitchy reputation  (I say in defense of Sherlock being bitchy)

That’s me  [Lestrade?]  Yup.  Can’t pronounce the big word AND too scared to do my job

Sweet lord… Blech

[Bruh.  Y'all are saying the same thing at the same time.  That's kinda Subtext.]  😂😂😂😂

[Supernatural, you say?]  👀👀👀 Carry on my wayward soooooon

["Scratches around the keyhole"  *PTSD flashback from BBC Sherlock starts*]

Oooop- “Brothersss”  She means Bros

["Give her my best"  *Hates himself for saying it*  That's some right-fine pining, my dude]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️  [AND HIS SMILE WHEN JOHN CAME BACK???]  But.  But marryyy 😩😂😂😂  I love it

Oh mah gawd.  The poor frog

[I love their outfitssss.  Btw, this is how I dress.  Well, half the time.  The other half of the time, it's cargo pants and flannel as;ldkfj]  ‘Cause you were born in the wrong time  [This... Is true]

Moood

Thasss a big man

The screeeeeech

[Ring go bye-bye.  That feels symbolic]  ☠️☠️  [He does marry her before the next film, though, iirc]  Ahhh I see

“Brother”  [Sir didn't even remember the important ring he just bought in favor of running after his best bro bud]

Welp, he’s asleep.

Bitch better wake up

[Um.  Bud.  Buds.  That was–  Ya know what.  Okay.]  aka if you go we both go

Oh, Watson  ["Having been talked into going with you" Bro, you went back without a single bit of coercion] Don’t do the “I just risked my life for you then bitch you out for it” thing

[Y'ALL.  Y'ALLLLL]  “Steal your clothes,” huh?  [OUR DOG?!?!?]  Yep.  I can hear the fic ideas pinging off.  Like those troll hug bracelets…If you haven’t seen the movie you won’t get that  [alksdjf nope, I haven’t]

Like, how she was smiling?  Like… Bruh.  Ew

[Also, Watson acting like he's a paragon of relationships without Holmes’ interference when he just lost the ring he'd only just bought]  Right?!

Not me sitting here hoping this has the sappy ass (Sherlock) “fine, you want me to go away, I will”… (Watson) *miserable, comes crawling back*  [I KNOW.  SAME.  AND I CAN'T REMEMBER IF IT DOES OR NOT.]  If it doesn’t the fandom will ☠️  If the fandom doesn’t gimme 30 mins and it will 😭😂☠️  [I, personally, am a fan of this conversation being followed by serious personal harm to person 1.  Angsty though it is... Well, I guess that's on-brand]  I was gonna say that but my thumbs were cramping uppppp  [as;lkdjf]  Look at us being sadistic.  But with a happy end.  [As I said... on-brand]

Le gasp!  His son!

SOMEONE LET HIM PICK A LOCK!  SHEESH!

["I hit a dead end... and my bud bro bestie is fighting with me :("]  Now I sad

“Oh, dear” ☠️☠️

[Once again: the lighter, (only slightly) less toxic, less murder-couple-y Athos/Milady.  And the "less," btw, is by a smidgeon, not a bunch]

He ded

Damn… Jealous.  That’s a nice tub.  [You're about to not be jealous]  Ooooop ghost son’s a coming

[As I said, much less jealous… He just drowned/boiled to death in it.]  Blech.  BLECHHHH

So is this supernatural like… for real?  [Whyyyy do you think I'd tell you this?]

Poor maid

Is he like wigged out by dead people?  Sherlock, I mean?  [What do you mean by wigged out?  I thought I knew what you meant but don't see the context]  ‘Cause at the first one it was like he couldn’t look at the body. Then it seemed like he was weird when he walked in this room.  But he stopped this time.  [No, he's just observing.  And also hiding shit from the cops.]  Fair

I’m still feeling some type of way about her getting John out and not Sherlock too… and John just left.  The dishonor!  [I KNOW]

["Thanks for that, by the way"  John, give a bit more than that]  Dishonorrrr.  Hmph, and it’s a movie so any divorce arc we get is gonna be short-lived.  [That's the plot of this film: Baker Street Bros solve a case While Divorcing]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️  [Go to Google: that's the blurb that comes up]  I bet you if I typed that into google there’s a fic  [With a worse ship name]

["Not us."  "Right, of course."  Ummmmm Byler Rain Scene-coded???  "What did you think?  That we were never gonna get fiancees?  That we were just gonna sit in our flat all day and solve crimes for the rest of our lives?"  "Yeah.  I guess I did."]  ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

😂😂😂  [Bad guy did the swoop again]

Nooo.  Noooooo.  I’m ded.  He fucking shot in circles and used all his bullets

Oh shit

OH SHIT  [GAH DAMMIT LET HIM PICK A LOCK]  OH SHIT OH SHIT  [He still hasn't been able to :(]  This is like a fuckign saw movie

["Don't get excited… because I'm taking off your belt"]

Sweeet lord

[I love her outfittttt.  Once again: that's how I dress alksdjflsakj]

He got to pick one  [He did!]

[Also, why does he look so uncomfortable when she hugged him alksdjf]  I KNOW

Oh shit

[Oh yeah.  Watch this.  I do remember this one, actually.  I remarked on this one even back when I first watched]  Ooooooof

OOOOOF

I LOVE THIS COP  [Also, he couldn't get Holmes to focus unless he confirmed Watson was alive elkasdjf;lkdsajf]

I KNOWWWW  😭😭😭

Ack bitchy lady lol

Run, Sherlock!  She’s onto you!  [She's actually being frustratingly not bad, ngl]  Hmmmph.  She just has a bitchy face, though.  Like, she squints menacingly when she talks.

[But also.  Buddy obsessing over the case because Now It's Personal]  I KNOWWW 😭😭☹️

[Bruh, it's Howl's Moving Castle.  House boutta move]  Now he has to eat a star

Sir.  [...]  Well, then.  [Cas: “You look terrible.”  Dean: “You know, it wouldn’t kill you to lie every now and again” vs. Watson: “You look gorgeous”  Sherlock: “Somehow, I knew you wouldn’t leave.”  It’s the same scene.]  😭😭😭😭

A snek

I keep wondering why he keeps talking like this. (Like oh he’s being funny) but no. No that’s just how they talk ☠️☠️☠️☠️  [Yup]

‘Ello, ‘ello, ‘ello  [I've heard that somewhere before]  I think the new angel in GOmens watched Sherlock Holmes  [THAT'S WHERE]

Oh shit

[HOLMES GOT TO PICK ANOTHER LOCK]  You go buddy!

😂😂😂😂  He said soldier boy

[He.  he did not get to pick the lock apparently]  Oh noooo  [He had the key]  For shame

Shoot him.  Now please

[I love her vestttttt]

Oop- Lorge guy is back

[Teamwork makes the dreamwork]  😂😂😂

This man and just easily breaking bonesss

“Course I can.” Buddy. He is quite big. You sure

We know, John, we know.

Noooooo.  Nope.  That’s where I forfeit the deal I had with scary mystery man.  Fuck that.

Ooooooof  [A fitting irony, that]  Right?!

[This is a cliffhanger for the second film, btw.  Which we should watch... tomorrow]  YESSS

AWWW he’s leaving  [:(]  Poor Sherlock

[BRUH HE GAVE-  HE GAVE IRENE'S PENDANT TO HIS BEST BRO BUD FOR AN ENGAGEMENT RING?]  Le gasp

Wot.  WOT.  ["MY TONGUE IS GOING; I'LL BE NO USE TO YOU AT ALL"  CONTEXT?  WHAT CONTEXT?]  ☠️☠️☠️

["Our dog"]

Oooop. We’re there.  Being able to control anything with the touch of a button?  It’s the future.

– – – 

Jezebel: AHHHH!  New ship unlocked!  Well, it was already unlocked, but now it’s fully activated

Wench: Congratulations, my dear :)

Jezebel: Ok so movie end point... as was expected I love it and I definitely want to watch the second tomorrow 😁😁😁😁 I loveeeee RDJ so I figured I would too! 😂😂 but like my husband said when I asked, there’s not many movies I don’t like.  I’m very easily pleased lol.

Wench: We’ll have to do it tomorrow, then, after my work’s done :)

Jezebel: Hmpppphhh Maryyyy 😤😤 and I don’t even really have a reason to not like her minus her name is just attached to bitchy women… ok, that’s a lie, she’s bitchy too! 😂😂😂😂  Not, like, god awful.  But.. it’s the eyes

Wench: Ma'am!  Problem child.

Jezebel: But aside from all this. The main reason we are here… Sherlock and Watson… are…  Welp they are in love obviously.  Like. Duh.  You do not act like that with just a friend.  I see what the hype is about and if the blatant chemistry- er- “subtext” is there in the show too. Then yeahhhhh it just is not deniable

Wench: I.  May have just tuned out, my deepest apologies.  I got distracted.  By The Musketeers.  I’m making you watch it.  BUT.  Anyway… fair!  And other movie thoughts?  (I don't really have much to add... I've seen it before enough that it's just kinda.  There. Also, is hella late and my brain be unhelpful rn.)

Jezebel: I 👀 I can’t think of any.

Wench: Ma'am, you condensed the entire plot to the ship and bitchiness

Jezebel: Welp…. Help! Ask me about something cause my mind is panic erasing as we speak

Wench: … The bad guy?  The plot?  The acting?  literally anything??????

Jezebel: Okayyyy!  So The bad guy looks just fucking like Stanley Tucci! But it’s not and as soon as I saw who he was I remembered in another movie he is in I thought he was Stanley Tucci again lol. But this guy actually has been in a lot more big movies!  

Wench: alskdfj

Jezebel: The acting? Ma’am! How dare you! The acting was :Chef_Kiss: spectacular. Period. 😂

Wench: Hmph.  You said to ask stuff.  It's not like you'd answered that before.

Jezebel: The plot. To be honest I kept getting lost in them flirting and then trying to get my thumbs to type fast enough I was confused for a bit about what was even happening in the plot. Past there’s a bad guy who was executed but didn’t die, or maybe he did but then came back they don’t know. And he is killing people ☠️☠️ but I got it all now! 😂😂

Wench: …

Jezebel: Shush!  I gotta say tho… I love movies set in the past that have like some hyper advanced technology. That’s so simple to us now!

Wench: Yeah, that’s fair :) 

Jezebel: And… Okay, now idk what else to say 😭😭

Wench: Nor I; perks of me running on very little sleep… This has been the most boring Wench half of the reaction in the history of Wench and Jezebel, but it's fineeeee.  

Jezebel: 😂😂😂😂

Wench: It'll pick up for tomorrow... Sequel then?

Jezebel: YES!

Wench: Aight… til then :)

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Grace

Janis: What's this I hear about a bitch fight, like? Grace: ugh can you NOT please Janis: Is it true though Grace: it wasn't a fight okay I just lost my chill like Grace: moving on Janis: 💔 Janis: shame Janis: what happened then Grace: I don't wanna talk about it Janis: I mean I'd ask her but she ain't responding either Janis: very unlike Mia Grace: I didn't hit her that hard but sure Grace: she'll be watching a tutorial for like fake bruises or whatever obvs Grace: make me look worse Janis: again, gutted Janis: but seriously Janis: why'd you finally lose it with the bitch Grace: ask Pablo Janis: ? Janis: what's he got to do with it Grace: while you were getting with barista boy on the school trip they were also hooking up at some party Janis: no way Janis: what the fuck Grace: he didn't even try & deny it Grace: I literally can't with either of them Janis: Jesus Janis: kinda wish I didn't know now Janis: 🤢 Grace: UM yeah same Grace: but she just had to tell me cos I was dealing with a lot that wasn't about her Janis: well yeah Janis: sitting on that one 'til the best time Janis: cow Janis: should've hit her hard, I'd have shown you Grace: I'm not trying to get sued babes Grace: & it wasn't like I decided to hit her or anything Janis: wouldn't waste a court's time with that shite Janis: daddy not trying to get done for wasting resources really Janis: did think Pablo had better taste, tbh Janis: well, not really but you know Grace: Ew don't call him daddy Grace: I can't even be angry right Grace: I should've just kept crying like I always do Janis: Come on Janis: smacking her ones the best thing you ever did Janis: felt good, yeah? Grace: you'd have done it better Janis: still can, like Janis: have to be a decent apology for that Janis: 💰💰💰 at least Grace: if you do, vlog it & send me the footage Grace: I can't be here Grace: I literally have to leave Janis: where are you gonna go? Grace: idk Grace: I can't think rn Janis: You at home? Grace: obvs not they all think I'm mental there Grace: this isn't gonna help Janis: Hardly Janis: she deserved it Janis: how long do you need Janis: away, like Grace: if I'm freaking out now it'll be worse when she retaliates so ????? Grace: & when school starts Grace: OMG LITERALLY WHAT AM I GONNA DO? Janis: Calm down Janis: okay, you'll be fine Janis: contrary to her word being law in your circle, no one actually gives a fuck what she says Janis: anyway Janis: you said you have loads of shit on her, right? Grace: everyone needs to stop telling me to calm down Grace: you don't even understand Grace: she knows as much about me Grace: this is so bad Janis: exactly Janis: so if she's got any brains, she won't be spreading it Janis: if you don't move, she can't, yeah Grace: but I did Grace: I literally hit her Janis: you don't do things like that, you lot Janis: you didn't post anything about her or her and Pablo, did you Grace: I don't want anyone knowing that ever happened, why would I? Janis: see, wouldn't that be much worse Janis: to her Janis: how you lot operate Janis: she'll make up some story about why you hit her, if she chooses to go for that angle Janis: but she knows you've got all the real shit if she's gonna try anything else Janis: stalemate Grace: Yeah, I guess Janis: I'm sure Janis: school'll be fine Grace: UM how?? it's already rubbish & now I've got no one Janis: join the club Janis: just show up, do your lessons Janis: go town on your lunch break Janis: easy Grace: You've got your bf Grace: don't do him like that Janis: I didn't before, did I Janis: never mind just last term Grace: you didn't want one before Janis: no lad at that school, maybe Grace: I'm gonna have to get one now Grace: ugh Grace: 🙏🙏 there's some party tonight or something Janis: how's that the solution Grace: to not being alone? well duh Grace: who's single rn? 🤔🤔🤔 Janis: 🙄 honestly Grace Grace: excuse you Grace: I'm trying to be pro-active here Janis: you've lost your friend not girlfriend Janis: that's what you should be aiming for Grace: she was my friend for like 10 years, most of my relationships don't last 10 days Grace: I obvs can't just find a new bestie Janis: you can try Janis: that's what you want Janis: what boyfriend has ever been good company Grace: yeah cos she was so good for me Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: not the kind of good I meant Janis: a lad ain't gonna chat about reality telly with you and reapply lippy in the loos Grace: a gay one maybe Janis: if you want a gay bff you go for it Janis: bit problematic but sure we can let it slide Grace: all I actually need is someone whose arm I can be on in the halls & whatever Grace: boys are easy to get Grace: easier than friends anyway Janis: alright Janis: if you say so Grace: duh then I can say I dumped my friends for my man Janis: well they are your friends Janis: so they'll know you haven't Grace: no-one else will tho Janis: I'm not sure anyone else will be too concerned Grace: rude Janis: why? Janis: it's the truth Janis: not like the entire school is on the edge of their seat every time you two fall out Grace: obvs they are too busy watching you & your boy Grace: that doesn't make me utterly irrelevant thank you Janis: why are you getting offended Janis: it's not a performance Janis: just do what you want Grace: Oh sure Grace: I told you idk how to be different Janis: it's a good chance Janis: you've got a couple of days Janis: don't be rash, like Grace: I'm so not ready to just like overhaul my life excuse me Janis: it's shit, right Janis: what do you actually have to lose Grace: I told you on that school trip, if I try & I'm still the worst, what then? Janis: go back to faking it with vigor Janis: no one will know, like Grace: I will Grace: & you since it's your suggestion Janis: who am I telling Janis: not even a good secret Grace: ugh Grace: I'm freaking out, I can't commit to anything if it's not a detox, babes Grace: & even then Janis: boyfriend probably ain't the one then Janis: it's what Janis: 7 weeks if you wanna survive the first term Janis: maybe more? Grace: OMG don't Janis: Hell that's only half term, even Janis: then that'll end and it's more drama Janis: don't need that Grace: that's like 7 boys I need to find Janis: you can't just line 'em all up Grace: tragically Janis: could always transfer Grace: do you think mum and dad will let me? Janis: I wasn't being serious but they probably would Janis: just say Mias shoved your head down the bog Grace: EW Grace: did work for Nancy though so Grace: devastated I can't go to Chelsea Janis: mm did it Janis: she did try to fuck her special ed teacher Grace: Oh yeah Grace: & she wasn't even cute Grace: awks Janis: 🙄 Janis: and her twin has ended up inbreeding so don't reckon much to his fine education tbh Grace: Maybe I should hook up with Mia's dad Janis: don't be grim Grace: He's not hot but he is rich Janis: only relevant if you marry him Janis: and her mum is still very much alive and you'd have to last a while to be written in Janis: if ever Grace: I probably look too young for him to be 😍😍😍 anyway Grace: I'll hit him up post surgery if I'm still bitter Janis: you know people have surgery to look younger Janis: what kind of surgeon you found that's gonna make you a grandma Grace: 😂😂 Janis: I mean you will anyway Janis: your desired aesthetic ends up looking Donatella Versace when the filler starts to drop out Grace: gross Janis: He'll defs have a secretary he's banging, they always do Janis: just send a confession to her house and watch the fireworks, like Grace: that's a secret I already know, babes Grace: Mia caught him forever ago Janis: awh Janis: she does have a 💘 Grace: she has an even bigger allowance cos of too Janis: 'course Janis: got that to look forward to, Venus Janis: pretend to be her and tell then, even more trouble Grace: Do you want me to change or not? Janis: no one said you need to be a nun about it Janis: and if you ain't up for round 2 Grace: Yeah okay Janis: Seriously Janis: you don't need to worry Grace: it's fine for you, you don't care what anyone says or thinks or does Janis: yeah Janis: well she's a cunt Janis: why let her get to you Grace: it's not like I want her to Grace: she just does Janis: had 10 years to perfect it, I guess Grace: mhmmm Janis: don't mean you need another 10 Janis: fake that it doesn't get to you, like you said Grace: idk if I even can but sure Janis: why not Janis: you fake everything else, right Grace: & everyone's seeing through it rn Janis: doesn't have to be a bad thing Grace: Pablo called me mental & he got with Mia Janis: Pablo calls everyone and everything mental Janis: his vocab is lacking along with his brain, like Grace: 😂 Janis: doubt he was aiming for a soul-reaching read Janis: just a moody twat, yeah Grace: it's so okay for boys to have moods like it just makes them look hotter if anything but if a girl our age does anything she's mental Grace: is anyone in this fam calling him out for sleeping with girls at parties he says he doesn't know, no just me getting slutshamed Janis: that's misogyny, kid Janis: and I'm sure we're all very disappointed with him for it, like Janis: but as you said, everyone's seeing through you rn so Grace: my feet hurt I can't even run away Grace: I'm putting my coffee cup on the ground & giving up Grace: throw some euros in it if you come this way Janis: if you come here you can earn 'em and think about something else for a bit Grace: ?? Janis: we wanna go out Janis: the kid already knows you so come watch him for a few hours, yeah Janis: better hiding place than wherever you've got to Grace: before I say yeah, is his sister there too? Janis: I can assure you she'll be out as soon as she gets the chance Grace: Okay Janis: she's like Gus' age Janis: she can take care of herself Grace: as long as that's the only way she's like Gus Janis: 😏 Janis: bit rude but yeah Grace: oh come on, he's a lot Janis: 😂 and you're not Grace: that's why I can say it duh Janis: so is that a yeah or what Grace: I'm omw Janis: good stuff Grace: I need to fix my makeup first so Janis: so you'll be five hours Janis: come on Grace: Shut up Grace: I can't do it in a moving car, I'll look worse than I do now Janis: as long as you aren't rocking a 🤡 look I don't think the kid will mind Grace: you and the love of your life will still have to let me in Grace: what are you wearing? am I gonna have to be fake nice about it Janis: it's cool, he doesn't think you're nice, like Janis: told him what a bitch you are, obvs Grace: thanks babes Janis: any time 🖤 Grace: 💜 Janis: anyway, you'd be here for it Grace: Yeah? Janis: it's stupid Janis: had to dress up 'cos not fully sure where we're going so Grace: that's soooo cute Janis: alright Janis: that's enough Grace: I didn't even start Grace: so mean Janis: I know Grace: Do you want me to do your makeup? Janis: I don't think we'll have time Janis: takes an age don't it Grace: for me cos I have problem areas Grace: it wouldn't take like any time to do yours Janis: okay go on Janis: but we can't make him wait forever so it really does have to be speedy Grace: OMG really?? Grace: I promise, like 10 mins Janis: 👌 Janis: why not Grace: yay Janis: love the enthusiasm, babe Grace: Babes, if you could see me rn Grace: 🙌💜🙌 Grace: but if I get too excited I'll never get there Janis: I know it's shit Janis: but she's been shit for a long time Grace: & I know that Janis: yeah Janis: well Bobby will be happy to see you Grace: duh it's totally mutual Grace: he's a babe Janis: shame you can't take him to school 💕 Grace: he isn't a 🐶 I can't just put him in my 👜 hun Janis: think this one is too big for that and all Janis: 'less you're going really hard Grace: OMG has he got a big scary dog! 😱😱 Grace: one of my exes had one that was like Grace: so evil Janis: no Janis: it's just not a rat dog Janis: and it's nice just a bit excitable, only a puppy, like Grace: 🙏🙏 Grace: thank god Janis: just walked it so it should be chill-ish Janis: [sends pic 'cos god knows I have enough] Grace: ask him if I can steal it for school 😍 Janis: 😏 probably say yes Grace: that's so happening then Janis: you so don't need these bad influences in your life Janis: do you reckon mum used to put Ri in her school bag Grace: obvs have her strapped to the front & all her books in a backpack Grace: if I had a baby I could get away with leaving school though, I'll think about it Janis: behave Grace: I need to find the hottest boy ever first Grace: so it'd be cute Janis: shut up Janis: anyway Janis: don't always work Janis: look at Drew and Ro's kid Janis: weird looking thing, they're both attractive enough Grace: is she though? Janis: thought you'd tell me off for being mean Janis: she could be, if she wasn't dying, like Grace: never seen her when she wasn't so it's too hard to tell Janis: 💔 Janis: must be Mia's GP Janis: doling out the advice Grace: I'll book myself in ASAP Janis: like you said Janis: not a look, is it Grace: neither's this Grace: whatever I don't have the commitment Grace: stopped making myself throw up forever ago Janis: did you? Grace: it's like really hard to do Grace: someone should PSA that Janis: along with all the reasons not to, yeah Janis: reckon there's been a couple of films and docs on it Grace: it has its upsides too obvs, how I get any lads to date me Janis: you can shut up now Janis: didn't need to hear about Pablo jumping Mia's bones Janis: don't need to hear about you Grace: you just wanna hear about my bulimic past instead Grace: 🙄🙄 Janis: um I didn't ask you about that either Grace: you literally just did Grace: but fine Janis: what did you want me to say Grace: whatever I don't need an intervention for that so Janis: alright Grace: where's his dad? He's not gonna like come back & freak out that I'm watching his kid, like who am I, is he? Janis: nah he's on a date of his own Janis: if he came back early, just give me a call, like Grace: Gross Grace: 👌👌 Janis: he is Grace: I bet he's hot though, son like that Janis: old men are so not your thing Janis: don't need to go down that route, tah Janis: and he's not Janis: like he could've been but he's well past it Grace: tragic Grace: I wonder if his mum is pretty Grace: they could've been like couple goals forever ago Janis: long as you keep your speculating to yourself Grace: obvs I'm not that stupid Grace: or mean Janis: just saying Janis: it is really messed up Janis: wonder where she is Grace: did he tell you anything? Janis: they don't know anything Grace: Oh Grace: poor Bobby Janis: I know Janis: still Janis: Jim looks after him really well Grace: yeah he talked about him like non-stop at the fair Grace: it's nice that they have each other Janis: it is Janis: hard for him sometimes though Grace: obvs he can't just do whatever he wants Grace: unless I'm babysitting Janis: and with his job Janis: we're spoilt brats, like Grace: maybe I'll get one Grace: keep me busy Janis: I'd like one Janis: but I'd definitely throw coffee over people like you so Janis: gotta think Grace: rude but v true Grace: there's like lots of stuff at the sports centre you could do Janis: 😏 Janis: yeah maybe Janis: not the worst idea Grace: I'm mostly fake stupid Janis: leave that off the job applications Grace: idk what I'd even apply for anyway so Janis: you could do anything retail Grace: they want girls who look good in the clothes Janis: you do, you daft cow Grace: on like 1 day out of 7 Grace: I can't maintain that much gym time Janis: 🙄 Janis: alright, you could be a teasgirl in a salon or something Grace: maybe but lots of girls wanna do that Janis: yeah but every job gets more applicants than it needs Janis: worth a shot, if you wanna Grace: sure Janis: work on your resume later though, yeah Janis: on the clock here Grace: I'll make dad do it Janis: hasn't he got catering to be planning Grace: okay fine mum then Janis: surely she has a lovely big 👒 to buy Grace: yeah but we'll fit it around the shopping trips duh Janis: 🙄 Janis: gross Grace: you don't have to come, babes Janis: made it pretty clear I won't be Grace: yeah Janis: you know anyone who'd want some meth, like Grace: that's not funny thank you Janis: it ain't Janis: made a right dent in my back pocket, like Grace: so you better start job hunting Janis: I'll find a buyer Grace: Janis Janis: what Grace: you can't sell drugs Janis: not gonna make it my career Grace: just throw it away Grace: it's freaking me out that you even still have it Janis: not gonna waste it Janis: it's fine Grace: OMG how is it fine??! Grace: you could get murdered Janis: not for this much Janis: didn't go that crazy Grace: people get killed for their phones Janis: alright after school special Janis: worry 'bout yourself then, never off yours, you'd be fucked Grace: excuse me for not wanting you dead Grace: & I dropped mine so it is Janis: unlucky Janis: excuse to say you've lost all their numbers though Grace: that was obvs my plan not just a clumsy bitch 🙄🙄 Janis: 👌 Janis: less believeable than you getting a boy to stick for 7 weeks but we'll roll with it Grace: UM rude Grace: it's 7 boys, lasting a week Janis: 😏 7 dickheads for the price of 1, whatever Grace: even I can keep a boy for a week Janis: the real questions Grace: it's not a q, I can Janis: LOL Grace: stop being a bitch & let me in Janis: finally Grace: ILY too babes Janis: yeah yeah Grace: & you're so welcome 💜 Janis: shut up I'm coming as fast as I can alright Grace: it's literally raining btw Janis: let's hope dickhead ain't planned a picnic Grace: 😂😂 Grace: 💔

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: Cheers for coming yesterday Jimmy: Actually did a decent job on the gifts according to Cass not that she's gonna thank you herself like Janis: No probs, seemed like she had a good time, nice to see Janis: And I'm glad about that, had no idea, awkward age, like Jimmy: I think she did yeah. Better 13th than I had anyway Jimmy: Even if she couldn't bring Twix into the line of fire Janis: Same Janis: All you can ask, yeah? Janis: Don't think Twix is familiar with the idea of a friendly, shit would've got too real Jimmy: Yeah Jimmy: Too right. She's a savage Janis: Its why she fucks with her Jimmy: Anyway, if Cass don't text you, let me know and I'll make her Janis: Ain't no snitch Janis: You can tick me off her thank you note list, it's chill Jimmy: Alright Janis: Grace was gutted not to get an invite then I told her Bobby weren't coming and it'd probably fuck up her lewk and she was over it Jimmy: Unlucky Gracie we already had our fair share of mean girls there like Jimmy: Who can compete with tweens Janis: Forreal Janis: past her prime Janis: too bitter a pill to swallow on a Saturday afternoon, like Jimmy: You should tell her its better to get it outta the way. Then your night can go right Janis: So I've heard Janis: you better let her know Jimmy: You're alright Jimmy: Not in the mood for chick flicks and a catch up Janis: Hope it ain't in your not so distant future then Jimmy: Not part of the plan to start dating your sister Janis: She's not the only girl that is down to netflix and chill in this town is she Jimmy: I dunno Jimmy: Haven't asked Janis: Didn't come up? Janis: One for the to-do list Jimmy: What are you on about? Janis: Your new girlfriend Janis: You wanna check before you commit like Jimmy: I don't have a girlfriend Jimmy: not that it's any of your business like Janis: Whatever, not like I was stalking you Janis: hard to miss, that's all Jimmy: What? Jimmy: That I was chatting to the only person our age except my ex Janis: Yeah Janis: Seems nice Jimmy: Wasn't gonna talk to you, was I? Jimmy: She is Jimmy: You'd know if you said anything to her Janis: Don't want your ex and next to be besties Janis: Not a good idea is it Jimmy: Doesn't matter it's not gonna happen Jimmy: I barely know her and I doubt I'll see her again Jimmy: Cass don't need me to chaperone her playdates as standard Janis: I'm very sorry for you Janis: Sure you can make it happen Jimmy: I'm sorry that you're jealous Jimmy: Maybe I could, if I wanted to Janis: Fuck off, I'm not Janis: Idk, ask her if she wants to fake date Jimmy: Why do you give so much of a fuck then? Jimmy: I don't want to, again none of your business but Janis: Making conversation Janis: Sure Jimmy: Why? Jimmy: We aren't mates Janis: Idk Janis: you can tell everyone I'm lonely and obsessed if you like Janis: just felt like it Janis: sorry Jimmy: fuck off Jimmy: why would I do that? Janis: 'Cos we're not mates Janis: why not? Jimmy: Why would I chat shit about you just cause you're my ex Jimmy: and who the hell to? Jimmy: I'm a dickhead, I'm not that dickhead Janis: Whoever you see fit, I don't care Janis: maybe the kid who's bright idea it was to tell you about my dead sister Jimmy: He wouldn't care either, he wasn't trying to chat shit Jimmy: He thought I already knew, since I was your boyfriend like Janis: Of what, all of 2 months Janis: not like we'd sat down and talked about our sad stories yet Janis: Oh well Jimmy: He didn't know we faked it before, I'm not going around with that as an opener Janis: Oh yeah Janis: forgot Janis: well its all on me then Janis: good to know Jimmy: Not like it matters now Janis: Not to you Janis: I'd gathered Jimmy: To nobody Jimmy: He only mentioned that he used to hang with her Jimmy: He's probably forgotten about it Janis: So you reckon Janis: Let's all forget it then Jimmy: Already done Janis: You're a cunt Janis: fuck you Jimmy: That'll be why you broke up with me then Janis: Not how I remember it Janis: selective memory saving your day again Jimmy: Who cares? Jimmy: It's still done Jimmy: how my day's going has nothing to do with you Janis: I do, you absolute moron Janis: Jesus Christ Jimmy: Frame it that I broke up with you then if that's what you need Jimmy: Not gonna change anything is it Janis: Apparently not Janis: Forget it Jimmy: How can I? Jimmy: You don't get to come into my inbox with this now Janis: and you don't get to ignore me forever Janis: i'm not going anywhere any time soon, deal with it Jimmy: I can't Jimmy: I have to ignore you, alright Jimmy: Sorry that I can't be your fake mate Janis: Why can't you be my actual mate then Janis: I'm that fucking bad, yeah? Janis: Cheers Jimmy: Cause I don't wanna be your friend Jimmy: I can't be around you like that Janis: I didn't dump you Jimmy: You didn't try very hard to stop me Jimmy: Whatever I'm not trying to blame you Jimmy: I'm just saying I can't Janis: I didn't know you were gonna say that Janis: it took me by surprise alright Janis: I'm sure I could've handled it better but fucking hell Janis: do we really have to do this? Jimmy: Not like I planned it myself Jimmy: I'm sorry Jimmy: I don't know what to do Janis: No you have to know Janis: Tell me how to fix this Jimmy: All I know is I wanted to kiss you every second we were stuck in laser tag Jimmy: but that won't fix anything Janis: Might Janis: Could've given it a shot Janis: Perhaps not at a 13th bday party Jimmy: I really fucking miss you Janis: I miss you too Janis: that's what I've been trying to say this whole damn time Jimmy: having to ignore you all this time is one of the hardest things I've ever done Jimmy: I near lost my mind yesterday Janis: At least you didn't spend yours giving an innocent girl evils, tryna start shit Janis: I was so angry you were over me already Jimmy: I'm not Jimmy: Couldn't even fake it Jimmy: I reckon Cass knew what she was doing Janis: Shoulda known, its within her wheelhouse Janis: Here's me thinking I was special, pfft Jimmy: you are Jimmy: you had the wrong sibling is all Janis: Gayyyyyy Janis: You're not fucking around? Jimmy: Don't be trying to get with your brother yet is what I'm saying Jimmy: Wanna be my girlfriend again then? Janis: Hold up Janis: you said you don't wanna be my mate even Janis: you gotta tell me you were just being moody Janis: why is this always such a headfuck Jimmy: I can't be your mate is what I meant Jimmy: Cause I want more Jimmy: I know I'm a headfuck Jimmy: but that's the truth like Janis: I am too so Janis: its alright Janis: Can we just Janis: At least TRY to say what we mean from now on? just a suggestion Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: I don't wanna lose you again through being a dickhead Janis: we both know it was me Janis: i've never talked about it, i don't do that Janis: know it ain't healthy, believe me, and the fam have tried but yeah Janis: its my bad for deflecting it and acting like any of it was on you but that's all i could think to do in the moment Jimmy: It's alright Jimmy: I'm as guilty of keeping shit to myself Jimmy: Cass is constantly on at me to talk more Jimmy: I shouldn't have been trying to make you Janis: I dunno, maybe it'd be good to talk about it Janis: least you're not a fucking shrink Janis: or Grace, no offense Janis: but its, well, you know too Janis: we're both fucked, basically then Jimmy: You can try and talk to me Jimmy: Whenever you want and about whatever Jimmy: That's all I was trying to get at when I brought it up Janis: I can see it now Janis: when it happened, everyone just wanted the gossip, like it was no bigger than who kissed who at the disco or something Janis: and Grace thought they actually cared, poured her heart out Janis: I couldn't hack it Janis: It wasn't about you, that I think you're like that, it was knee-jerk, that's all Jimmy: That's shit. I'm sorry Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: Why we moved like, you know Jimmy: Get to be a man of mystery in a new town Janis: Yeah, that makes sense Janis: Did it help? Jimmy: Might've but Cass and Bobby don't know how to leave it there Jimmy: They're just kids Jimmy: All my dad achieved was taking Bob away from everything familiar and Cass from her mates Janis: Understandable, they didn't sign up for this Janis: Or you, really Janis: That's shitty, really Janis: Is your Mum dead, Jim? Jimmy: I dunno Jimmy: I can't answer that for you or myself Janis: But she's...gone? Janis: Sorry, I'm just trying to get it so I don't put my foot in it further down the line, like you said, the kids have said some stuff throwaway, stuff that doesn't sound just like a messy divorce even Jimmy: It's alright Jimmy: Like it's not, but it's not your fault that it isn't Jimmy: I don't know where she is, or if she's still anywhere Jimmy: That's why it's so pointless him bringing us here, she's not gonna pop up in some Irish pub like Jimmy: If she comes back it's gonna be there, distance from it is the last thing that'll help, that's what we had. Still have Janis: I can only imagine how hard that is Janis: Before Edie died, she went missing for about 8/9 months Janis: and we were just Janis: I think if it'd gone on any longer we'd have lost it Janis: not that her, or your Ma, turning up dead or whatever is ideal but Janis: at least its closure, yeah? Jimmy: Yeah Jimmy: It's 4 more years of nothing before they'll say it Janis: Fuck Janis: That's Janis: well Janis: did she give any hint or did it just happen Janis: like can you even be angry with her, if you knew she'd planned to then you could but what if its not her fault Janis: that's such a headfuck I'm so sorry you all have to have that in your heads Jimmy: Cass is the age I was now Jimmy: I don't know how to feel about it. I want time to move faster, like you said for the closure, but I don't too Jimmy: It's not alright that they won't remember her properly Jimmy: That I can't even with the memories cause I don't know if they're real or if she was faking it herself all along Jimmy: She might never have been happy. She might not have wanted to go. I don't know Jimmy: All I can be is angry, for them if not me Janis: All you've got is second-guessing and what ifs Janis: that's fucking hard to live with Janis: seen it first hand Janis: not the same situations but Janis: shit Janis: I'm- do you wanna stop Janis: I don't want to make you talk and think about it all but no doubt you do regardless 'cos I know I do Jimmy: Maybe talking is better Jimmy: Not saying shit hasn't worked out well for us, has it? Jimmy: And my dad isn't thriving off it either Jimmy: I don't wanna be like him Janis: You're not, couldn't be if you tried Janis: Like, I get it now, why he is how he is, but you're gonna be judged by how you deal in a crisis, that's just facts Janis: and you can't do that to your own kids, man Janis: at least I didn't have nobody to hurt Janis: well, that's a lie but you know, its not like my Ma went off the rails, fuck the rest of us, you know? Jimmy: He never was this bad until everyone else stopped looking Jimmy: Then he got it into his head that she either didn't wanna be found or there was nothing but a body to find Jimmy: If he couldn't keep waiting he just wouldn't think about her at all. Or talk about her either. I dunno Janis: That's just what he needed to finish him off, more abandonment Janis: There's so many possibilities, too many, those are just 2 of Janis: Guess he wanted some certainty? But its just bullshit, and he knows it as much as you do Janis: Get the impulse but Janis: the kids Janis: you Janis: that's your mum Jimmy: Sometimes my head gets full of all these horrible ideas about him Jimmy: That he kicked her out. Or worse Jimmy: That it suits him to pretend she doesn't exist because he feels guilty for what he did. Or doesn't Janis: Fuck, Jim Janis: that's a heavy fucking thought to carry Janis: if it had been that, there'd have to be some indication, surely, that couldn't just come out of nowhere Jimmy: I've never said that out loud before Jimmy: Sorry Jimmy: I know it's mad but they used to argue loads Janis: I mean, it happens, and you're not mad for going there Janis: you've had years to ruminate without answers, I get it Janis: but, if there was a body, if that had happened, then you'd know by now, there's no getting away with it these days, right? Jimmy: I know Jimmy: But sometimes I wish that was how it happened 'cause if she's out there, living wherever with whoever why hasn't she reached out? Jimmy: No texts or letters. Birthday cards, christmas presents. Nothing Janis: Yeah Janis: At least explain yourself, you don't just get to leave Janis: nobody should but especially not a parent, like Jimmy: We weren't close but Cass was just a kid and Bob was practically a baby still Jimmy: Maybe they found a body but they don't know it's hers? Jimmy: I think about that too, the state she'd have to be in Janis: She still birthed you all, if nothing else, she owes you all that Janis: Of course you do Janis: What else are you going to do in this situation but search forever, wherever you can Jimmy: I've looked for her so many times Jimmy: I think I see her sometimes, that's really fucked Jimmy: But it's not like that when I'm with you Janis: Again, can only imagine Janis: Like, been there but once you remember they're dead then you know it can't be, so its less head-fucky Janis: I'm really happy that I can do that for you, even for a little while Janis: you deserve a break, just from your own head, you know that, right? Jimmy: I can't let myself think so cause the kids don't get one Jimmy: They dream about her every night Jimmy: When they sleep that is like Janis: They deserve one too Janis: I think you give them that Janis: I honestly do Janis: you can't make it all go away but they're a damn sight better off than if they didn't have you looking out for them Jimmy: You mean that? Janis: Absolutely Janis: I'd say it even if we were still being pricks to each other Janis: they wouldn't begrudge you taking time for you Janis: you'll be better for it, do a better big bro job, yeah? Jimmy: Can we go somewhere Jimmy: far as the budget will take us Janis: Yeah Janis: I don't care where Janis: as long as I can see you Jimmy: I'll throw a dart at the map Jimmy: Until then I can come see you Janis: Please do Janis: Just come straight to the barn, yeah? I'll be waiting Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: How many of your family am I gonna have to get past? Janis: Hopefully none if you do it right Janis: Use your ninja skillz Janis: Laser tag was good practice like Jimmy: Challenge accepted Jimmy: I'll think back to our win Jimmy: get it done Janis: Cass shamelessly picked an A team Janis: birthday girl prerogative tho, soz losers Jimmy: good job Jimmy: she's more of a sore loser than you Jimmy: You'd have never got to chat to me over the sounds of her sulking Janis: What a tragedy that woulda been Janis: nice to see your back on top form though boy Jimmy: Take the credit Jimmy: I'm leaving now Janis: Flashback giving me the fear there Janis: ready to shout at you dramatically as you drive away like Jimmy: Meant to say I'm on my way to you Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Good Janis: In a bit 🖤