#if julian has one true conviction its 'i aint thinkin about it'. ..... if he has a second one its 'i am unkillable' LMAO

[adriartts]

Idk who you are and I found you in a friend's blog but I really like your oc Julian and his perpetuity for being covered in blood and surrounded by sheep (my two favourite things) can you tell me about him:))

Oh hell yes babey you're just like me for real. take my hand. let me tell you about my favorite guy

Julian was a shepherd through childhood and early adulthood, caring for the sheep was an obligation to his house but not a resented one- he liked it, and actually did care for the sheep quite a bit. He was a weird little girl who grew into an odd young woman, easily frustrated, very dismissive of other people, short-tempered and restless and always off who-knows-where doing god-knows-what. Some thought it was childishness, some thought he was just a bitch, both were right and also neither were. And then he just disappeared, not telling anyone where he went or why, but pretty much all of them knew he wasn't coming back.

A few years later and he would be unrecognizable to anyone who knew him then. He's a sailor now, babey, and finds an equal but opposite call in it as he did with the sheep. It's unfamiliar and dangerous and as he hops between crews he quickly finds himself with one full of scoundrels and shitheads and people that are as much a danger to themselves (and Julian) as they are to others but he stays there because they're also tough and rough and violent and that's the ship he wants to be a part of.

Restlessness turns to recklessness and everything he is is the same but louder, and, integrally, this is on purpose. He thinks he's better than everyone else, thinks he's invincible, thinks everything is a game and nobody else really matters. He has convictions in theory, because most of them can be broken if he thinks he's right to do so. He doesn't let anyone figure him out, he lies for fun and so nobody ever really knows anything about him for sure. He sees the world in transaction: kindness and favor are debts that can be held against you, everyone is trying to take something, so give as little as possible. Everyone has an angle, so he's always trying to decipher what it is. He makes more enemies than friends.

The violence is on purpose. The cockiness, to an extent, is on purpose. He can't stand something quiet and dull in the background so he wells it to the surface of someone else's skin. A fight has rules, a bruise or a cut heals in a predictable way that can be influenced one way or the other. Violence takes energy, it's physical and tangible and it makes sense. Blood comes from somewhere, you can staunch it or you can let it run, none of this in-between bullshit. The choice is there, you just have to make it.