#if its not crusty what the fuck is the point. im so serious. What the fuck is rhe point.

[skyburger]

u know when i started getting into metal gear and i finished mgs1 when i started mgs2 i was like "wtf they got better graphics they didnt need this 'realistic' shit. They shouldve kept the psx graphics." and tbh i was right! that was the most polygons they needed to have

[fdrsamericanflagduckfloaty]

Drop the Miku Binder TJ rant bestie

okay so like

i was just thinking about it, and, like, i think it's fucking nuts but also really weird how the hamilton fandom (which i'm in but i swear i'm not an uwu lams turtles shipper please) somehow took this CRUSTY, TERF-BANGED, UGLY, OLD, REDHEADED, RAPIST ASS MOTHERFUCKER,

and turned his ugly ass into this.

like damn what the hell- what- how???? okay like yeah, they're using daveed diggs as a base for this bullshit, which, okay, fine, but YOU DID NOT NEED TO ADD THE INFO. The idea itself is funny but also a bit weird, however im 99% sure Diggs himself wore that shirt. However, all of the extra info??? come on. Where'd the fandom get this istg y'all-

Also, also, they did something similar by making John Laurens (gay blonde dumbass) into an UWU turtles boy. ....why. Bi trash coffee gremlin tumblr over-worked sleep-deprived alexander hamilton. like yeah relatable but. why. small bean big sweater uwu innocent boy blushy short james madison. ...why. bro was stubborn and would pick a fight and was the 'fuck you' type of shy.

I just find it wild the fandom made this and it is the entirety of the fandom into one. There's the good sides, there's the bad, and there's this. Which encompasses the ENTIRE. FUCKING. FANDOM.

The fandom has its headcanons, it has its perks, but then you reach the side where everyone is just a wild fucking original character. They don't model the historical figures anymore- they're just OCs with the name 'Philip Hamilton' or 'John Laurens' or god forbid our third U.S president 'Thomas Jefferson' slapped onto it.

I'm also so confused as to how this is what the fandom is known for. We have some good fics, we have hella good art, we have a M U S I C A L , and then the first thought people have of the Ham fandom is Miku Binder Third President Founding Fucker Slaveowner Thomas Jefferson.

I also find it kind of offensive (almost put insluting oh my ufckjg-) that they made a founder become this but like he'd probably be really pissed so please keep fucking up his memory lmao he deserves it

But like... also why. What made them think of this.

Like yeah I write 20k word TR smut but you don't see me drawing it.

You don't see me making him an UWU e-boy.

...Eh I probably would for shits and giggles tbh

But like this is founding father Thomas Jefferson. Third Pres. Second VP. First Sec. of State. And he is a furry, ex-cocaine addict. Also btw do they mean John Laurens or John Adams as the former drug dealer part because neither are better but it'd really help

Also bro literally raped his 14 year old slave and had like 6 kids with her. He had her room DIRECTLY NEXT TO HIS. He RAPED HIS DEAD WIFE'S HALF-SISTER. AND HE'S A SAD UWU MAN WHO DID NOTHING WRONG?

Let's not forget this same person made a post saying Lizzie (the Queen) would be reincarnated as a horse when she died. I'm serious. Deadass.

However, it's also funny as fuck because this entire thing is a tarnish to Jefferson and I fucking HATE that bastard so like good job lol

At the same time though it's still super weird??? But insane??? Because how did this become one of the Tumblr exclusives??? like it's Tumblr history at this point. Twitter history. You cannot express any like for the Hamilton musical before you get the 'have you seen miku binder thomas jefferson' and it's like 'well shit'.

But also remember: THIS IS NOT AN OC TO FUCK AROUND WITH. Hamilton the Musical specifically gave you and presented you the founder. Thomas Jefferson. Played by Daveed Diggs. Just because it is played by a POC, but also modernized, and vastly different from the actual founder and President, does not mean that at its core it is NOT STILL THE SAME PERSON.

If you name it Thomas Jefferson, if you use the presentation of him given by Daveed Diggs, you are still using that white fucking slave-owning racist motherfucker, and that's the point of it all.

I find it stupid but funny but also insane, and I wouldn't care, unless I KNEW IT WAS SERIOUS. The artist made it seriously. They made John Laurens. They made Philip Hamilton. They did this seriously.

but like also look at this lmao

This meme of Thomas Jefferson in a Hatsune Miku binder really got trending on Twitter at one point

It's an infamous, hellish, classic meme of both Tumblr and the Hamilton fandom, and it deserves what attention it's got, but Jesus please never unironically make shit like this again, Hamilfans, we're stained by this we don't need another😭🔫

EDIT:

i have more

So like, I just remembered: it kinda romanticizes these guys??? The musical??? so like don't get me wrong i love the music but... it puts them into this light. This pink light. It paints Hamilton as an abolitionist who was outspoken about it. When, in reality, dude traded and sold slaves for his in-laws + wasn't all that outspoken about it + was against immigrants or migrants, WHEN DUDE WAS FROM THE ISLANDS. HE HAD SCOTTISH BLOOD. AND HE'S AGAINST IT? Hypocrisy at its finest.

Washington also owned slaves and ran his own plantation too, so he's not off the hook. Madison, the 'uwu small bean' of the fandom, also owned slaves and ran a plantation. So the main people of this entire fiasco are slave-owners. Perfect. But also I've heard Ron Chernow's book on Hamilton, the entire start of the musical, is a bit biased to Ham himself, so...

You could be saying 'but FDRsduckfloaty, Sally is mentioned!' yes. But however, not enough. Not more. It's not even implied more than potentially ONCE what he did, and I'm not sure it ever was! Cabinet battle 3 states it flat-out but it was cut. For your info, Ben Franklin and John Adams are the only two you can really like in the slavery aspect. Ben bought them but let them go for their freedom, and John detested slavery and was against it. Never owned one.

Jefferson did add a slavery clause to the declaration but it was discarded, and he didn't fight half as much as he could have. Maybe he did and since it was the 1700s he didn't have a lot of support, but surely he could've done something like, I don't know, call it out after his terms? Once you're done gaining your second term and out of office, they can't do shit to it or your presidency, since it's over.

So the musical itself has its own problem and the fandom is even worse. It blatantly disregards that a LOT. A hella lot of the amrev fandom + a small part of the ham fandom has called TJeffs out for it but I mean can we please not make shit like Miku Binder Jefferson and act like he wasn't an actual child rapist???

This video does pretty well at it. I will admit the tagline 'America then, told by America now' almost sends shivers down my spine for what it really means. But then again I find men not knowing they'd make it down into the history books for starting the world's global power and the world's economic powerhouse pretty interesting. Doing something big and knowing it's historical, but not that it's going to form a very, VERY large country, where you'll be honored down the road and called a Founding Father of an entire nation? Signing papers and not knowing they're the founding stones of a country and still looked up to today? Intriguing.

But like still fuck Thomas Jefferson lmao

there's a lot more videos on it that dig deep, but the point is, that Hamilton is a good musical with good songs but it's also very... complex, and a bit problematic, Thomas Jefferson is a little bitch, and you should stan 1776 before you ever stan Hamilton. 1776 does not do this. It is much more realistic. 1776 has Benjamin Franklin and that's an immediate win. Be more like a 1776, be less like a Hamilton.

[uwuwriting]

Among Us with the boys

Request: okay so who do you think would like playing among us and what would they be? like would they be the imposter or the crewmate, who would die first?- anonymous 

HAHAHAHA! I SWEAR WHENEVER I PLAY THEY ALL THINK IM SUS. AND I HAVEN’T DONE ANYTHING. Anyways, I really like this game makes my paranoia useful. Love ya.💖💖💖

rules

masterlist

warnings: umm nothing? idk.

Kaminari Denki

-Sus af without even trying. 

-Legit.

-He just messes up that card task in admin and has to do it over and over again.

-So the others just see him lurking in admin and immediately are like .....you lil bitch.

-He is always the first to be voted off. 

- “Kami is sus yall I’m telling you.”

- “I AINT DONE NOTHIN!!!”

- *coochieman69 was Not an Impostor*

-It really gives him serious gamer rage. 

-My boy is really bad with the whole voting stuff. 

-He keeps forgetting what color his avatar is and votes himself. 

- “yellow is kinda sus.”

- *kami who is yellow* “Yeah he should go.”

- everyone: ......

-Bad spelling. 

-Like really bad spelling. 

-To the point yall can’t understand what he wants to say. 

-Um voice chat has been banned when you play with Kami. 

-The sounds this guy makes. 

-Good lord. 

-Pierce your eardrums with the first accussation thrown his way. 

-Comes to your room for comfort after he gets voted off on the first meeting. 

-Cried once bc no one believed him. 

Shinsou Hitoshi

-Impostor KING.

-No one EVER suspects him.

-He’s just so non chalant 24/7 that people just assume that him running around is normal bc he’s doing tasks so he can go chill in security. 

-In reality when he’s a crewmate that is exactly what he does. 

-But he will never say that aloud. 

-Pairs up with you. 

-Impostor or not he will follow you around to keep you safe™.

- “Babe just vent.” 

- “But they’ll think you did it.”

- “No they won’t.” 

- *someone else gets voted off.*

- “Told you.” 

-He knows how to use vents and NOT get caught.

-Like legit he never ever gets caught. 

-No one knows it how he does it it just happens. 

-Doesn’t really speak in the chat. 

-Even when he is being accused. 

-Boy couldn’t give to flippin fucks. 

-He really never has to say anything bc he never gets blamed but anyways. 

-Trolls people when he is a crewmate. 

-Just follows them around and stands there doing nothing. 

Dabi 

-Is accidently good at it. 

-Maybe its the villain life style but he knows how to turn others against someone???

-Like blue may have been with three other people for the majority of the game but for a few seconds he left and came back. 

-In that time ladies and gentelmen blue murdered dear green in cold blood. 

-I swear its amazing how much people believe him. 

-Like look at him. 

-He just oozes trust. 

-He has one of those faces. 

-When he is the impostor he legit kills everyone in 0.5 seconds.

-Goes on a killing spree killing 4 crewmates on his own in a matter of seconds while you on hte other hand have been trailing white from the start of the game. 

-You always get ejected no matter what. 

-Mostly because you always find the bodies..... and Dabi is a lil shit and says he saw you venting or killing. 

-Like, sir I am your s/o please defend my honor. 

-Got voted off once and almost burned his bed. 

-He got really REALLY frustrated because for the first time in forever no one believed him. 

-And he was ejected. 

-When he was just an innocent crewmate. 

-The only reason no one trusted him was because you guys were playing with the LoV and they know what type of person Dabi is. 

-Next in line was Shigaraki......crusty ass man got ejected so fast. 

Shigaraki Tomura

-Gamer rage. 

-No one trusts him. 

-Its worse than Kamis’ situation. 

-Sir, we do not trust you please leave our space shuttle. 

-And it gets to him so fucking much. 

-Like you will just hear a random anguished scream at 3 am bc he was once again... ejected. 

-For some reason can never be the impostor. 

-Like the games’ algorithm is fighting against him and never gives him a chance. 

- “This game is bugged!”

- “You a crewmate again?”

- “FUCKKKKKK!!!!!”

-Cannot get the nuclear reactor task right. 

-Keeps forgetting the order of the buttons and will spend the whole game there doing just that. 

-Until he gets killed. 

-He ruined two phones. 

-He got so angry he accidently turned his phone into dust. 

-Kurogiri is a tired parent. 

-Like a really tired parent. 

-Dabi and Toga troll him while playing together.

-Angers him further and no he is chasing them throughout the hideout to turn them to dust. 

-You have to calm him down with cuddles so he can sleep. 

-Bc bby boy cannot sleep if he’s mad. 

Hawks/Keigo Takami

-Can’t really play??

-Can’t do tasks and always self reports. 

-He’s just dumb. 

-Dumb and easily distracted. 

-You’ll be playing next to him and he will be watching you game.

 -And then he will see you go near him and he’ll wake up from his trance and try to get away. 

-But fails.

-Like fails miserably. 

-Gets chopped in half in no time. 

- “SONGBIRD!”

- “There are no rules in love and war, darling.”

-Fuming.

-Tries to convince Endeavor to play with you two. 

-Will staright up call the man in the middle of the night and give him the code to your room. 

-Makes sex jokes while its just the three of you in the room. 

- “So I have been thinking....now that I have you both were I want you.”

- “Hawks...” “Keigo.......”

- “Let’s have a threesome.”

- *1#hero left*

- * ~mommy~ left*

-Is a really bad impostor. 

-He just tells you that he is the killer the moment he gets his role and you just report him with zero hesitation. 

-He has been betrayed. 

TAG TEAM AY:

@iwaqchan​ @the-arcana-fan-fic​ @angelwritings​ @axerrri​ @reinyrei​ @dnarez-mangetsu​ @bemorefiction​

[incorporealbagelbeing]

Hello From the Hallowoods characters based on their Vine knowledge and Energy:

Nikignik: thousand eyes? He knows what Vines are. He probably knows them all word for word and cried a little when it died and did an in-depth monologue about humanity, humor, art and love as a requiem. Doesn't trust TikTok. 100/10

Lady Ethel: Watched one that Brooklyn showed her and immediately started marketing the idea. -10/10, part of Vine's downfall, still doesn't get the references. Also makes bad marketing TikToks

Diggory: 6/10, they've seen a few! Percy showed them some at the scoutpost, and they have a group chat with the mendies where they send memes and vine compilations.

Percy: 8/10. Watches Vine compilations all the time. Knows them by heart, but tends to be more reserved and serious and doesn't quote them a lot. The only reason people know he watches them is because Riot referenced "Jared, 19" and got jumpscared by Percy laughing behind her while invisible, cementing her trust.

Riot: 12/10. Riot "I see Walt is busy. Im going to go bother him" quotes Vine enough to rival Doug Eiffel of Wolf 359. She had all that time in the bunker to learn Vines and decided to make that everyone's problem. Queen shit. Bonds with Percy and Diggory over Vine, and has mixed emotions on TikTok

Clara: 7/10 nows Vine a bit less than Percy. She knows more due to Riot and Friday. Can and will recite many Vines by heart but doesn't watch compilations.

Violet: 4/10 knows a few Vines? Kind of understands the humor? More than anything, she has a knitting TikTok that's super soothing, so points for that.

Bern: 3/10 understands the nihilistic humor but hasn't really ever sat and watched a Vine comp. She does appear in the backgrounds of Violet's TikToks sometimes with large weapons, and she has a small fan base because of it.

Walt: 7/10 knows Vines because 1. He thought some of them were a bit funny and 2. Riot loves Vines and he looked deeper into it. They make jokes back and forth about Vines, trade references, and make each other laugh. However, he has NEVER gotten the phrasing right for "Road Work Ahead?" Has a TikTok for info on various Hallowoods creatures and places.

Olivier: 6.5/10. My score here is less on Vine knowledge (they'd get a 3 based on their friendship with Friday) and more based on the fact that they exhibit the exact energy of Vine. Im giving them honorary points for having the exhausted manic energy. You'd do numbers on TikTok, king

Friday: 9.5/10. She watches Vines, even if you wouldn't expect it. Im adding an extra half point for Clara and her bonding over it. I feel like she's the reason Olivier knows of Vine, and that the two watch Vines sometimes (or Olivier studies while she watches them to chill out during study breaks). She and Clara quote them at each other to confuse other people in the library.

Big Mikey: 6.5 I think he colloquially knows a few! And I also think that Riot and at least one other scoutpost person have showed him the child safe Vine comps. Also I love him.

Polly: controversial take: the posse all have low scores. He gets a 4/10 because he's been loosening up, and I think he'd vibe with it. I also think that he posts on TikTok for aesthetic posts and for the one he has with Yaretzi in wolf for. Oh Mort also appears in the backgrounds sometimes, picking flowers or befriending animals and has answered questions much to the delight of his fans.

Mort: 4/10 appears in Polly's TikToks, and he gets points for being beloved by everyone. However he neither knows nor gets Vines and Polly doesn't know how to explain.

Yaretzi: 4/10: not super well-versed in Vines, but she's learning with Polly. She also has a fanbase from Polly's TikTok background appearances.

Hector: 5/10 knows Vines but never uses them. He smiles at them but its nothing much. He has a TikTok for the dogs which is insanely popular.

Jonah: 5.5/10. Was a huge fan of Vine Back In The Day, and quotes them sometimes. Also has a TikTok, doesn't post much. This is counteracted by the fact that Zelda hopped on his channel, earning him an extra point.

Zelda: 7/10. Knows and quotes the most well known Vines because Jonah was such a big fan and she cares about him. Also, that one lady on TikTok who has the recipe channel where she's like. The funniest person, but its also stuff like meatballs and cookies? Thats Zelda. Shes also decently TikTok famous, and responds to everyone who asks if she can be their mom.

Solomon: fuck you. Crusty bitch. Even if he knew what vine was he wouldn't get it. >:/

Barb: 10/10 made Polly and Yaretzi watch Vines. Makes Vine references. Legend has it, he has a Fre Shava Cado sign somewhere in the Resting Place.

Countess: 2/10 knows little about Vine because she thinks its below her. However, she is the sexy vampire lady that appears in the background of Barb's videos, sooooooo

Brooklyn: 6/10 she's a tech/ social media person i feel like. Showed LEM a Vine and Regretted It. Still thinks about them and mentions them to Marco sometimes. Repeats some under her breath but also doesn't know many at all.

Marco: 4/10: knows less than Brooklyn but still has some Vine knowledge I guess? Sheltered by BotCo

Danielle: 3/10: even more sheltered by BotCo. However, she also met Nikignik

Ray: 8/10: hear me out: this automobile knows Vines. He wants to connect with passengers. He gets them wrong a lot of the time but its the thought that counts. Also? Ray has tremendous meme energy.

Moth 11/10: knows and quotes Vines and has cryptid energy. Currently running a TikTok with Ray which has vine energy and is wildly popular. People do assume that Ray is just camera shy and not an automobile tho.

[macklives]

session 94 end

so

:)

i want to be as serious as i can about this without screaming my head off so i can actually get some information down, considering these end of sessions serve as my personal notes, so if i look back at them and notice the notes just have a continuous stream of “AAAAAAA FUCK YOU U, U INCEL” i dont think id be amused

BASICALLY!!!!

vriska killed her aradia, but not only did she kill aradia, vriska made her BOYFRIEND kill her. and the boyfriend just so happens to be sollux! which is actually cute, i support it, i ship, but now in the future its going to make me sad whenever they have screen time together agsjgshsh

anyways, he was unaware this happened because he was being controlled by vriska. presumably, she forced him to eat the mind honey. this brings a whole new perspective of the “under no circumstances do you eat the mind honey” i take it. so now aradia is actually dead dead. 

but shes still here!! because shes a ghost! so its alright! 

and the origin??? lol, vriska wanted to actively kill tavros when he pushed him off the cliff rather than just break his legs, which made aradia upset so she created the hauntings. vriska contacted doc about it who advised to kill aradia. yada yada, to shorten it up, vriska and dick scratcher suck ass.

doc scratch is a crusty old dildo who manipulates young children for his master to kill their friends, his master being lord english. and from all of this shit that occurred, there’s a plan apparently?? idk what the plan is. but hes making children kill each other. so idk. maybe hes trying to off them so they dont corrupt his plans. he acts like a cocky bastard however, and has a weird god complex. thats why i made many death note references. 

oh, and theres a lot of cahoots for THIS particular dilemma, (not even all of homestuck this is just for...one part of the story), but ill take a screenshot of one of my posts about it bc i do not feel to type it up rn:

oh not only that! but scratch is a “first guardian” which means hes in charge of the whole planet or some sort of being that REPRESENTS the planet?? in this case alternia. and yeah idk, im rereading that part now bc before i was more angry than anything so i didnt process it completely, and its still sorta confusing. he has a genetic code, the same as every guardian apparently, considering they SHARE the sequence? but that code grants them omnipotence? what?? and “when merged with a host of great intelligence, near omniscience as well” im not sure what this means, if its a random genetic code that gets into a living being which CREATES the first guardian or if its a first guardian that has that code and NEEDS to have a host. 

but if doc scratch has been here since the birth of the planet, what does that make lord english? hmmm, how powerful IS lord english in this case if the fucking “first guardian” is a servant to him. im curious

ummmm also he glows like bec? jades dog? idk if thats just an art choice but the similarities are so uncanny that i had to point it out. makes me wonder. tho.. iirc bec glows bc he eats radioactive food or something,,,, i really forgot, i havent seen the kids since december okay.... but idk, he glows like him so that means he can do the space teleportation schtick as bec does, which is how he probably gets from place to place i presume. idk if its BECAUSE of that very same “genetic code” the first guardians have, making bec a first guardian himself (of earth maybe??) or if its just a coincidence. and knowing homestuck, could be either. tho im guessing we’ll uncover more of that later as it doesnt seem like we’re supposed to know right away and i may be pulling shit out of my ass based on a green strobe light resemblance

also terezi called out vriska to scratch, so im pretty sure hes now going to now kill vriska

well

probably not but dw if you do ill turn around and pretend i saw nothing

and thats it folks!

haha.....

.......

aradia and sollux........ 

...... :(

thats sad gang..it really is

[diddlesanddoodles]

DUMPLING ch 42

The dress was a buttercup yellow with white rimmed sleeves that dragged on the floor. Nenani stood very still as Lolly carefully pinned the dress in several places to get the fit just right. Her mother stood to the side, watching with an odd mixture of emotions.

“You look beautiful, Nenani,” she said. But there was something in her eyes that made her look sad.

“The sleeves are so long,” Nenani said, tilting her head to look at Lolly and flapping her arms. “I look like a bird...”

“It’s the fashion right now,” Lolly said with a suppressed grin. “All the ladies at court are wearing them long. You will be turning heads when they see you.”

“Why do I need to be turning heads?” Nenani asked, feeling nervous. After her talk with Jae and Farris about the upcoming dinner, she was beginning to have serious reservations about the whole ordeal.

“Because you’re going to a dance,” her mother told her straight faced. “And it’s better to go wearing the proper shoes.”

Giving her mother a befuddled tilt of the head, Nenani asked, “Huh?”

“This dinner will be our first introduction to the Vhasshalan court in an official capacity,” Oira told her. “It would be better to make a good impression. And clothes are the first thing they will see. Well, aside from us being human that is. People at court have a certain capacity to be shallow and cruel. It was true in Silvaara and it’s true here in Vhasshal. We have to present to them a carefully painted picture so we can’t give them anything that might come back to haunt us later.”

Nenani looked up at Lolly with an anxious look. “I don’t think I want to go...”

“Don’t fret, Nenani,” Lolly told her gently. “All you need to do is stand there and look pretty. His majesty and your mother with handle everything else.”

As Lolly finished the fitting, Nenani could not strike the feeling from her mind that she was not going to enjoy any of it.

…………………………………………………..

It was a little awkward carrying her dagger and the roll of leather, but even as Jae asked for the fifth time if she needed help carrying anything, she assured him she was fine. But as they rounded the edge of the guard barracks and made their way to the smithy, Nenani turned to stared at Jae as he walked beside her, noting the bottle in his hand. When he looked over and saw her staring, his brow furrowed. “What?”

“I thought you were going to get rid of that,” she said, pointing to bottle of whiskey.

“I am,” Jae replied with a dismissive shrug. “I’m givin’ it to Connar. To try and bribe him into making your belt for you. Not that I think he would refuse you. But a little bribery never hurt. Plus, it’s easier to give this away then just dump it.”

“I don’t understand how you could drink that stuff,” Nenani scrunched her nose up and adjusted the roll of leather under her one arm. “It smells terrible.”

“Wasn’t drinking it for the flavor,” Jae assured her. “But a lot of folks swear it’s the best tasting whiskey you can get. Keral’s famous for it.”

“Still smells bad.”

“Funnily enough,” Jae shot back with a smarmy grin. “So does Keral.”

In all her time living in Vhasshal, Nenani had met all the resident humans save for one; Connar. He was a metal and leather worker in the King’s smithy alongside his guardian, Hev. Another name Nenani was familiar with, but had no face to match it with. The metal medallion around her neck, Jae’s neck, and all other humans in the castle were all made by Connar. Ostensibly due their smaller size, the job was much more suited to human hands than a giant’s.  

And as they drew nearer to their destination, the steady beat of metal striking metal became more pronounced and there was a metallic bite to the air itself as though she could smell the forge in the smithy just as she could smell the ovens in the kitchens. But instead of crusty loaves of yeasted breads, the only thing being pulled from the mouth of Hev’s fiery forge were the glowing bars of heated metal.

The smithy was a wide squat structure more reminiscent of a barn than a proper workshop. There was no door, rather the whole front of the building was left open. Tables were strewn with tools and weapons of all kinds and all in varying states of manufacture or repair. There was a barrel off to one side filled to the brim with flat metal blanks in the vague shape of a sword, only waiting to be heated and shaped into their final form and given a hilt. The walls were filled as well with swords and daggers, axes of varying sizes from a small hatchet to an enormous battle ax. And then beneath all of it, Nenani could heard the great breathing bellows of the forge and waves of heat hit her face as they approached.

They passed under the shadow of the smithy’s interior and Nenani scanned the walls as they pushed inwards. So much metal and weaponry and leather. It reminded her of the first time she was taken into the kitchens where she saw all the knives and cleavers therein, but even that paled in comparison to the sheer number of blades hanging from the walls and laying atop tables.  

“It’s pretty nice coming here in the winter,” Jae told her. “Stays nice and warm. But the summer is just brutal.”

Nenani paused to look over at a mace casually leaning against the leg of the table, marveling at the idea that anyone could pick up something so lumbering and heavy. It looked like it would be a challenge even for a giant.

Beside her, Jae slipped the bottle of whiskey under his arm and cupped his hands around his mouth. “HELLOOOOO!”

From further into the space came a response. “Hello?”

Jae turned to her and grinned before yelling back, “Hello!”

A pause and then a confused sounding, “Hello who?”

“Hello you.”

“Hello me?”

“Yeah.”

Another pause and an amused response came back. “...Jae? Is that ye?”

The young man laughed and called back, “Yeah, its me.”

There was a series of clanks and the sound of something shuffling around the dirt floor before a giant head peaked out from behind a wall near the back of the room. He had a round pleasant face and a dark, short cut beard with streaks of grey. His long black hair had been pulled into a long queue and it swung out from behind him when he poked his head out. Large brown eyes stared at them and then there was a flash of white teeth. “Well so ye are!”

The rest of the giant’s body followed his head from around the wall and he walked with long legged strides over to the pair of humans. A dark leather apron covered him from his chest down to his shins with the tawny fabric of his sleeves rolled up over thick burly arms. Despite considering herself very well accustomed to giants by this point, Nenani could not quell the sudden nervous bubble that form inside her as he bore down on them. He was more broad shouldered than either Farris or Bart and perhaps even taller. He towered over them for only a moment before he dropped down to one knee, leaning forward even more to be closer to their level. His face and arms were deeply tanned and there was a faint dusting of metal shavings stuck to his face and beard.

“Been a while since yev been down this way,” he said to Jae with an easy smile. “Was startin’ to think ye didn’t like us no more.”

“Nah, nothing like that. Things have just been kind of...hectic?”

The giant threw his head back with a loud short bark of a laugh. “So I heard. Some nutter tried to kill ye? Threw ye off the roof was it? Must be goin’ up in the world if someone found ye important enough to try and assassinate, lad. I’d congratulate ye, but it sounds like it’s more a pain in the arse than anythin’.”

“Nah, no such luck. I was just collateral,” Jae replied, gesturing with his thumb to Nenani. “He was after this one. Hev, this is Nenani.”

The giant’s thick eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Ah! So yer Farris’s lil’ squeaker? Ah, well, I suppose yer a Princess too, eh? Please excuse the state of me, yer grace. Always get a bit manky in the shop.”

“I’ll make you a deal. Don’t call me ‘princess’ or ‘your grace’ and I’ll forget everything else,” Nenani replied with a small smile.

“Oh?” Hev asked and then looked to Jae in confusion.

“She hates the titles,” he explained. “Best to just drop them.”

“Ah, well. I’ll try to do that, but forgive me if I slip once or twice. I don’t mean nothin’ by it.”

“Is Connar about?” Jae asked, holding the bottle up with a grin. “We got a commission for him.”

Hev dipped his head and huffed in amusement before lifting up again with a nod. “Oh, sure. He’s just nappin’ over near the rag pile. Cold weather makes his leg ache, so he likes to build himself a lil’ nest over there. I’ll get ‘im fer ye.”

Hev pushed himself back onto his feet and after a few quick stride of his long legs, disappeared back behind the wall. His voice could be heard clearly enough. “Connar, ye up? Come on then, wake up. Oi! Ye lazy bum. Put yer shirt back on. How can ye be complainin’ about the cold when he ye haven’t even got yer damn shirt on? Now get dressed and try to pretend yer civilized fer all of a few minutes, eh? Ye got company.”

There was a fainter groan and then a curse. “Huh? Wait...Really?”

“Yeah, Farris’s ward’s is here t’see yer sorry arse. Y’know...the Princess?”

“The...Princess? Wait. What?! Ah, shit!”

Hev gave a loud laugh.

“Where’s my shirt? Hev, where’s my shirt?”

“How should I know?”

“Well, I put it there and now it’s gone!”

“I didn’t steal yer grimy little shirt. What’d I even use it fer?”

“I dunno. Hide it for a laugh?”

“Ah, not this time.”

“Dammit...I know I had it...”

“...ye check yer pants?”

“What?”

“I said did ye check yer pants?”

“...wha…? Why would I check my pants for my shirt?”

“Because it’s tucked into yer arse, ye fuckin’ dolt.”

“What? Oh! Hey! There it is!”

There was a pause and the Hev said in a contemplative tone, “Sometimes I wonder how ye ever managed to miss seein’ that trap. And sometimes, like now, I don’t wonder quite as much.”

“...fuck you, Hev.”

“Love ye too, lad,” Hev replied cheekily and then shouted back at Nenani and Jae. “OK, yer grace. He’s decent enough. Oh, sorry. Already forgot about the title thing. I mean...yeah, yer good to come on back.”

Nenani shot Jae a look of confused amusement and he just grinned back. Rounding the wall that Hev had disappeared behind, the floor dropped two steps and opened into a large round room with a cone shaped ceiling that ended in a sharp point. Flat openings near the pitch of the roof were opened to the outside, letting smoke and heat escape. The farthest wall from the entrance was dominated by a round bricked forge that, to Nenani’s eye, looked very much like one of Quinn’s ovens, only much much larger. Around the lip of the forge were long black metal poles. Some were nestled into the glowing coals or leaning against the forge itself. Off to the left side was a large bellows, sitting on the ground and positioned perfectly for a giant to step upon it with their foot to breath air into the fire. Next to that sat a giant black anvil with on large hammer resting upon it.

To the right of the forge was an open barrel of water and just beyond that was a large pile of rags, all colored black from soot and dirt and it was there that Hev stood, looking down at a human as they adjusted their shirt and quickly tried to force their messy mop of hair into something presentable.

When Nenani and Jae hoped the last step and down onto the dirt floor, Hev looked up at them and flash a grin. “Ye might need to forgive the state of this one’s dress as well. I’d say he’s just feelin’ under the weather, but...he never really looks any better than this.”

“Shut it you.”

Nenani found herself slightly taken aback when she finally laid eyes on Connar. She had expected an older man by the way everyone spoke of him, but he was surprisingly young. Older than Jae, but perhaps more Riley’s age. Perhaps even a bit older, but only just.

Connar was a lean, dark haired young man with thin gray eyes and his face was marked with faint white lines across his tanned skin. Old scars. His hands were similarly marked, but the most prominent feature of his person was the distinct absence of his left leg. In it’s place was a carved wooden replacement. From his left knee down, his leg was gone and he stood instead with a false one peaking out from the folded fabric of his gray trousers. However, instead of a plain round peg as Nenani had seen before on some sailors, Connar’s fake leg was carved as though to mimic the real leg he had lost. It had even been oiled and polished and he wore a shoe as well to match the one on his right foot.  

He must have seen her staring at it, because when she looked up to meet his eye, he wore a knowing expression. “Lost it to a snap trap a couple years back,” he explained. “Some fucker was pouching on the King’s land while I happened to be trespassing through it and snap! No more leg.”

Her eyes widened in horror at the prospect. “That’s terrible!”

“Oh it was,” Hev agree vehemently. “Lil’ fella almost bled out in my arms.”

“But you’re not here to listen to my sob story,” Connar said, waving a hand and looking down at the roll of leather under Nenani’s arms. “Have a project for me, your grace?”

Hev bent down and tapped Connar on the head.

“Ow!”

“She doesn’t like titles.”

“Fine! You just needed to say. Ugh, that hurt!”

“Ah, I didn’t get ye that bad.”

“Says you,” Connar shot back, rubbing his head and wincing. He shook off the pain and annoyance and turned his attention back to Nenani and Jae. “So, what’ve you got for me, your-not-grace?”

“Nonna gave me this,” she said, holding out the dagger. “And I was wondering if you could make me a belt for it.”

Connar reached out and took the dagger, pulling it from its sheath and inspected the blade. Holding it to the light, he turned his eyes to Nenani. “You’re Thorn?”

“On my father’s side. Yeah.”

His eyes drifted down to the amulet around her neck. “And what about that?”

“It’s a fire opal,” she explained. “It helps keep my magic from spilling out all at once so I don’t die.”

Above them, Hev grunted, his eyed wide. “That can happen?”

“Yep,” Jae answered for her. “Almost did.”

“Well, that would be bad,” Connar replied. His eyes lingered on the metal chain. “Might want to swap that chain though. The links are far too thin to be holding up something that heavy. It’s gonna bust loose if you’re not careful.”

Connar slipped the dagger back into its sheath and then inspected the leather work of it. He hummed appreciatively. “They’re well made. The metal is very good. The blade needs sharpening, but I don’t think they really sharpen these. They’re ceremonial if I’m remembering right. Can’t have little kids stabbing each other, I suppose.”

He handed it back to Nenani, but as she tried to reclaim the dagger, the roll of leather fell from her arms. Connar picked it up and let it unroll. Holding it up, he whistled. “This would do well for a nice belt. But, is that all you’re wanting? Just a belt? There’s a lot more material here.”

She shrugged. “What else could you do with it?”

Connar gave her a devilish grin. “Oh, so many things. Tell you what. If can trust me enough, go on and leave me this here leather and come back to see me in...oh, about two days? I’ll have something for you.”

She nodded and smiled. “Okay.”

Jae stepped up and held out the bottle to him. “Here. Something to sweeten the pot.”

Connar’s eyes lite up. “Is that what I think it is?”

“Yeah,” Jae replied. “Promised Farris I’d keep away from it. So I’m back sucking lime flower leaves.”

Connar quickly rolled the leather back up and slipped it under his arm before eagerly grabbing up the bottle. “Well, that’s your loss,” he said and then looked back to Nenani. “Let me revise my previous statement. Come back in three days and I’ll have something you’ll absolutely love. And I’ll see about getting a better chain for your amulet too.”

“Thank you!” she said excitedly.

Conna held up the bottle. “No, thank you.”

………………………..

Despite the cold weather, the repairs on the west wing were coming along at an astonishing pace. All the broken roof tiles had been pulled off and the masonry underneath taken apart, stone by stone, and finally the fire damaged wood beams. Large new timbers had been delivered and installed to replace them and the masons were now laying back the foundation stones with fresh mortar. But as the giants worked, their craftsmanship was not the focus of Nenani and Jae’s fascination.

“How would it even have gotten there?”

“It must be part of the original structure. Like the tunnels.”

“You’re saying that the humans who built those tunnels would have also been the ones to build that?”

“Well, who else would have?”

“There’s no way!”

“They must have, though. Unless ancient Vhasshalans did.”

“It’s huge!”

“What? You don’t think humans can build big things? Have you ever seen castle Nethwyn? Well...I guess you haven’t. But’s it’s freaking huge too. The great hall was big enough to fit a hundred people and thirty giants comfortably. At least that’s what I always heard.”

From the vantage point of a high gable, Jae and Nenani stared down into the open wound of the west wing’s roof and at an enormous stone head that rose up from within the thick walls. It was nearly as tall as a giant and three times as wide. The damage done by the dragon’s attack had revealed it when work began on the repairs and more astonishing was that there seemed to be more the further down they went. The back of its head faced into the corridor and was the majority of what was visible while its face, still obscured by the outer stone wall, looked out into the valley.  

“I thought Warren was just having a laugh when he said they found a giant head in the wall,” Jae said. “Or that maybe I just understood what he was telling me. Yaesha had given me some potent tonics.”

“Do you think there’s more of them?” Nenani asked.

“Maybe,” he said lightly. “But seeing how dug in that one it, it might take another dragon attack for the others to be dug out.”

Nenani made a face. “I wonder if he’s gonna have them wall it back up.”

“Don’t know. Seems a pity to cover it back up again.”

“Yeah.”

A short silence fell between them.

“So,” Jae said, breaking the quite, and tilting his head to peer at her curiously. “You ready for your official debut at court?”

“No,” she replied, her eyes watching one of the workmen slather a trowel with mortar and place a vaguely square shaped stone into place and giving it a rapid tap with the butt of his trowel before turning back to his bucket and beginning the process again with the next stone. “But I’ll be there. I’m just gonna do what Lolly said and just...sit there and look pretty. I guess. The dress is pretty heavy so that might be all I can do anyway. Are you going?”

He sighed. “Warren asked me if I would come and I tried to make an excuse, but Rosanna answered for me. So I’m going. And she’s already picked out my clothes for me and everything. And I swear she’s deliberately choosing the doublets that are just constricting enough for me not to be able to have any free movement. It’s like what I imagine wearing a corset’s like.”

Nenani laughed. “She knows you better than you give her credit for.”

“I mean...it’s nice not having to look over my shoulder all the time, but really. She’s starting to act like she’s my mom. Just this morning for example! When I went to talk to Warren, she didn’t like how I combed my hair and then did it for me. And Warren had the biggest shit-eating grin. It’s been years since I’ve had the urge to hit him, but ugh...got really close then. Could have done with that arm of yours. Wouldn’t thrown my damn shoe at him.”

“Yale must be right, then,” Nenani giggled. “Maybe she’s practicing being a mommy on you.”

Jae glared at her with an unimpressed look.

“So, speaking of the dinner,” Nenani said, steering the conversation away from the subject of the Queen. “Do have any pointers for me? On what I should and shouldn’t do?”

“Oh sure,” Jae replied. “A warning: a lot of courtiers might try to mess with you.”

“Mess with me?” Nenani frowned. “How?”

“Nothing too bad. And I don’t think Eldherst will bother you. I’m gonna bet he’ll be pestering Warren about the armory again. I just mean a lot of the Lords in power now were there during the war and some still harbor...ill feelings towards humans. Though not overtly. They’re a lot more...subtle about it. One or two of the older ones just saw me as Warren’s pet when I first came. One of them even asked me once wear my leash was and why I wasn’t on it. Should’ve told Warren about it, but I was still a kid and just wanted to leave. But I told Keral the next day. Supposedly he crushed up a dried red dragon pepper and slipped it into the Lord’s snuff box.”

With a look of horror, Nenani put her hand to her nose. Her mind supplying the mental image of someone snorting even just a small bit of regular pepper sounded horribly painful. But her horror turned into giggles and Jae grinned with her.

“For you though, the one I’d look out for most is Lord Calem. Tallish guy. Always wears this hideous yellow coat and wears too much cologne. You’ll be able to smell him long before you see him.”

“Why? Does he not like humans?”

“No. Opposite in fact. He is...very friendly.”

She looked at him askance. “How...is that a bad thing?”

It was Jae’s turn to make a face. “He’s a well meaning, but totally condescending idiot with no sense of personal space. And when he drinks, he gets all...cuddly. Especially with humans. I’ll tolerate Kol’s nonsense to a point. He’s my friend. But not Colem. He’s one of the main reasons I stopped going to those things.”

“What?” she laughed.

“Yep. He’ll want to pet you. Like...a pet. Like a dog. After two glasses of wine, he’ll get all up in your face and try to pet on you,” Jae said with a grin and then shrugged. “And since you’re small and cute, better watch out.”

She blinked at Jae’s choice of words, feeling her face flush.

“What?” he asked, looking at her.

“Nothing,” she replied quickly.

“...serious. You all right? I mean, the guy’s annoying, but he’s no Thrist.”

“It’s not that.”

“Then what?”

“...you just...well...you called me cute.”

“Uh huh..?” He drawled, squinting at her and she felt the heat in her face increase and she turned away from him to try and hide it. He leaned into her field of vision, a single eyebrow raised. “You feeling okay?”

“Yes.”

“You sure?”

“Yup.”

“Because you’re red.”

“I’m fine.”

“Like...beet red.”

“I said I’m fine!”

He smirked at her suddenly. “Oh.”

“Shut up,” she snapped and rose to her feet, turning to the open window behind them and hoping down onto the table below.

Jae leaned over to peer at her. “But I didn’t say anything...”

She glared at him. “I said shut up!”

With a smug grin so reminiscent of Keral that she felt the very real urge to punch him, he said, “You...you don’t fancy me do you?”

“No!” Her fingers sparked as she slammed the window shut and then pulled the latch down for good measure.

“Hey!” Jae got to his feet and pushed at the window. “Open up! Geez, Nenani, I was just joking!”

Nenani pretended she couldn’t hear him as she carefully climbed down the table leg, too angry and mortified to feel any pride in having gotten down off of a table all on her own.

“Nenani! Come one!”

“There are other windows!” she called back as she rounded the corner to find the tunnel door.

....................................

BONUS ART: Oh look! It’s ol’ Hev. 

[soccialcreature]

rebels s4 first-time watch liveblogging! (just jedi knight on bcuz i only wanna watch the good eps of this show)

sorry. the hair is bad. maybe dont let a blind man give himself a haircut

kanan and hera r the only too bitches i care about in this house

theyre soooo cuuuute ugh

y go to the fuel depot tho that seems like a recipe for disaster

kanan didnt have to b dramatic about it i think they all cudve gotten away if he had just got in the ship. theyve been in tighter situations before

can kanan b a force ghost tho? just to talk to hera. idc about the others. hera seems rly broken up about this

hera: *crying*.  chopper:  bur bur. bur bur bur bur bur.    hera: *sniffles* youre right

ezra and hera reminiscing about kanan is actually really good and really hits :(

the side plot is stupid. y not just use a bomb-bomb and kill that little grey bitch. a fuckin paint bomb? r u serious?let zeb kill him bitch goddamnit zeb deserves a little murder. as a treat

what the fuck is happening

god fucking damnit dave u fucking furry ive had enough of these fucking wolves

i hate how they talk

EZRA SAID “AHSOKA” <33333

leave hera alone she needs like 5 fucking minutes to grieve her baby-daddie’s death goddamn

FUCK YEAHHHHH WE R GOING BACK TO THE JEDI TEMPLE i love the jedi i miss the clone wars :(

im gonna say it. the loth-cats cudve been cuter

ohmygod dave finally made his dream come true of having his characters ride wolves (bcuz he said he wanted ahsoka to ride a wolf at some point. but these guys riding wolves r fine too i guess. ahsoka makes anything cooler tho... jus sayin)

AHSOKA

this is some force-power-bullshit that i can GET BEHIND. TELEPORTING WOLVES HELL YEAH

WHY CUDNT THEY JUST FUCKING KEEP THE STORMTROOPER OUTFITS THAT THEY STOLE THE FIRST TIME WHY. DO THEY HAVE TO DO THIS SAME BULLSHIT EVERY. GODDAMN. EPISODE

they literally have no asses

who the fuck is this crusty bitch

COURUSCANT lets go there. i miss the clone wars :(

wait wheres rex. is he safe? is he alright?

y does sabine have to b here

good job ezra u got it. u cracked the code. ahsoka is the daughter <3

sorry nothing was happening so i blanked out for a bit but now we are in the world between worlds AND I AM HEARING THE VOICES OF ALL OF MY FRIENDS GOD I LOVE U GUYS OBI WAN AHSOKA ANAKIN I LOVE YALL

this scene is very cool tho

ugh stop can i skip the sabine scenes? i wanna hang out w ezra in the world between worlds

AHSOKA AHSOKA AHSOKA AHSOKA AHSOKA AHSOKA AHSOKA

SO FUCKING COOOOOOOL

she shud do the thing again where she falls onto her back and kicks the enemy away i think thatd b rly fun

hellooooo hottie

ahsoka  <3

does she know shes the baddest bitch in the galaxy? i feel like she doesnt know. i feel like sabine thinks SHES the baddest bitch in the galaxy but rly its ahsoka

is it like ahsokas job is to dramatically go “anakin...” 

when did she name the fucking bird

ok god complex ezra

ahsokas been through so much shit in her lifetime. she can literally understand any trauma just name it

cud we not have done one more take to have my guy palps say ahsokas name correctly? i mean its not a huge deal but like. was he payed by the second???

“i will. i promise” ahsoka ur so fucking cute

wh

whered it go

how can the entire temple just skrrt away

REX

KALLUS

AHHH MY FRIENDS

WOLFFE AND GREGGOR

HONDO

okay what the fuck is happening y did everyone just show up

ahsoka said “ima take a nap hmu after the finale”

i hate this fuckin grey dude

hondo ily

sorry i stopped paying attention but wolffe just had a line so im back now

OHMYGOSH

BOYFRIENDS

KALLUZEB IN THE SAME FRAME OHMYGOODNESS

oh my fuck this next episode is HOW MANY MINUTES LONG?????

hera in this ep b like ‘am i gregnant?’

kallus ur the coolest bitch in this whole show (minus ahsoka)

go hera <3

yo what the fuck

this episode is 47 goddamn minutes so that we have time for this pig catapulting bullshit?

the whole second half of this show is just the writers making excuses to have thrawn do absolutely nothing while still pretending like he’s a threat

why r there 2 separate animal dues ex machinas in this finale?

yoooo ezra i actually rly like u bro :(((

hey where the fuck is darth vade y did he just dip out of the show. i feel like he cud help the empire out in this situation

very weird that thrawn supports sabines patreon or whatever the fuck

heyyyy palpatine what the fuck

they were rly broken up about kanans death for like. an episode. but theyre chill now theyre over it

y is palpatine into ezra?

can kallus and zeb smooch? just once? please? wud that b so hard?

how is this pig not dead

oh lmao he is dead hahahahahahah

im still confused about how greggor didnt die in clone wars. i thought he died? was i tripping?

palpatine is trying so hard not to saw “dewit” right now

what does destroying the temple accomplish?

HOW R THEY STORMTROOPERS MISSING THESE SHOTS WHAT THE FUCK HE IS A STATIC TARGET

oh so NOW ull kill the little grey bitch

GOD FUCK THE PIG IS ALIVE????? ARGH U AINT CUTE BITCH. JUST DIE

y cant he get out of there tho

bro a bitch is crying

yooo

theyre dating

hera’s makeup

the way i broke down when i saw ahsoka

tears

[mrpenguinpants]

Dabi x Hawks Roommate/Marriage AU

I just went through a really stressful uni application process. I’ve got 2 essays due tomorrow. But I’m here. Again. I feel like I make these too long but whatever. Anyways

Oh yeah btw, I’m totally down to write shit. So just send me a request. It doesn’t have to be dabihawks (I’m literally only writing dabihawks cause I'm obsessed) or hero academia. (I’m really just lonely so) Also does not have to be headcanons, idm writing actual fics. Headcanons are just easier for me. 

This is also not connected with the tattoo artist dabi x dancer hawks, this is just self-indulgent stuff

Hawks and Dabi moved in together when Dabi saw an ad on his college board for a roommate

“So I’m broke af and really lonely so I’m looking for a roommate. Contact me with the info below. It’s okay if you’re a murderer. College is kicking my ass and I’ll gladly accept death.” 

Dabi calls him that day 

“I’m not a murderer but I can probably get us both killed in a week” 

He meets with Hawks after school as they walk back to his apartment 

“Basically, just don’t do anything that lands me in deeper debt. Pay for rent and whatever else you need, and don’t be a dick. Either than that, I’m sure when we actually start living together we can make some ground rules” 

Dabi is a tiny bit concerned “You serious? Not that I’m not accepting but shouldn’t you be a bit more concerned with who you let in your home?” 

“Please, I don’t have anything worth stealing, I’m broke, and I’m ready to die at any given moment. Unless you start shitting on the floor I don’t think we’ll have a problem. Is there something I should be concerned about?” 

Dabi moves in the next week 

If there was anything Dabi should have been concerned about, its Hawks

Hawks literally has no  s h a m e

Dabi lived with his siblings before moving out when he graduated from high school. He has some level of decency 

Hawks, however, has been an only child with neglectful parents

Not that Dabi minds too much, anyone is better than his father, but it’s only been a week and Dabi has seen Hawks butt-ass naked 4 times. Not that he minds

But there is only so much his homosexual heart can take 

So Dabi sits him down one night over take-out (none of them know how to cook. The only time they do is when Hawks friend Rumi comes over or when Dabi’s sister sends him food) 

“Dude, I know we just met and just started living together and it’s great. But you need to put your dick away when I’m here” 

“Is it distracting?” 

“Yeah. It is. I don’t know what kinda things you’re into but I don’t walk around with my fucking dick in the air” 

“I’m gonna be real with you right now. I really just want to get laid...by you...like right now”

what is shame amirite? 

They just stare at each other for the longest time before Dabi shrugs 

“Sure” 

After that, they got a lot more comfortable with each other (because I can’t be bothered to do slow burns (pun intended)) 

(Gonna be real with you, this part is just me throwing ideas out) 

One day, Hawks comes home stressed out and looking like death itself before throwing himself on the couch next to Dabi and laying his head on his legs

Dabi just looks at him “Rough day at work?” 

Hawks just explodes at that “THIS FUCKING CUNT OH MY GOD. SHE WAS GIVING ME SO MUCH SHIT ABOU-”

Dabi nod along as Hawks yells his feelings 

“I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I just want to sleep for a century” 

Hawks looks at him with the biggest puppy eyes Dabi has ever seen 

“You wanna get shit-faced drunk even though it’s a Tuesday?”

“PLEASE” 

During their first days of living with each other, Hawks and Dabi decide to eat dinner together. You know, talk and get to know the other

Since they both don’t know how to cook they just order takeout 

It’s really awkward 

“So, how was your day?”

“Uh, it was...goood” 

“Cool. Cool”

God kill me 

Dabi reflects on his life when he was still living with his siblings and what they talked about at the table. About 99.9% of it was them shit talking on their dad 

“So, you know that security lady. The one that hangs around the cafeteria?” 

“Yeah? What about her?”

“She’s a bitch, isn’t she?”

“OH MY GOD LET ME TELL YOU THIS ONE TIME-”

Yeah. Dabi’s got this. Turns out Hawks loves to shit talk and rant about people

He calls his sister and mom later that day to thank them 

They think he’s high but whatever works 

Dabi’s family comes to visit him over the break. Hawks is freaking the fuck out cause what if they don’t like him and make Dabi move out? How is he gonna survive on this own? What if they are really scary and murder him? (not that he is opposed to that but he rather die later and with Dabi)

Dabi isn’t that concerned. It’s only his sister and mother coming to visit and they are just coming to make sure he’s still alive 

“Hawks. You need to calm down. Trust me, they’re cool”

“BUT WHAT IF THEY DON’T LIKE ME. WHAT IF THEY DON’T GIVE ME THEIR BLESSING????”

“Hawks, we’re not dating nor are we getting married”

“Dude, we ride together we die together-”

“I don’t think that saying works here”

“-We’re practically soul mates at this point”

“...shit you’re right”

Dabi introduces Hawks as his boyfriend to his family

His family is proud of him even though they are 110% sure Dabi blackmailed or paid him 

It happens after they graduate college. They decided to stay together in the same shitty apartment 

They were sitting together on the couch watching Disney movies (Hawks request) 

Hawks is leaning on Dabi as Dabi is bored out of his mind

“Dabi?”

“Yeah?”

“We’ve been together for like 4ish years now right?”

“Yeah”

“And if I were to die what would you do?”

“Probably kill everyone, burn the world to the ground and then kill myself”

“I love you-you know that?”

“I do” 

Insertawkwardpausehere

“-So I was wondering if you wanted to get married or..something” 

“Yeah sure” 

They both pause. Look at each other. Before screaming 

“Wait really?!”  they both yell at the same time. Hawks is literally in tears rn

“I-I don’t really have a ring, I mean I can go into the kitchen right now and get some tin foil bu-”

“Woah Woah wait Hawks. You wanna get married??”

“BITCH IF YOU GO BACK ON THIS RIGHT NOW IM KICKING YOU OUT” 

“FUCK YEAH I WANNA GET MARRIED”

“GOOD”

“GREAT”

“FANTASTIC”

“AMAZING” 

They calm down after an hour 

“Are you sure though Hawks? It means you’re gonna have to be with my crusty ass”

“Dabi, I’ve seen your dick. It’s not crusty” 

“I think that was the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me”

“I literally proposed to you”

“And I accepted” 

Dabi calls his family to tell them the good news and Hawks calls Rumi. It was 4am so obv they didn’t pick up so they left a voice message

“Sup fuckers, I got married to my bird boyfriend. Tell our homophobic father he ain’t invited to my wedding”

“RUMI!!! I JUST PROPOSED AND HE SAID YES! WHAT DO I DO! AM I DYING? I THINK I’M DYING” 

Just letting you know, I’m totally continuing this in the future. I WILL MAKE MY BOYS HAPPY 

[sainadazai]

When your crush is angry all the time

Ch.3

Sharks or whales?

  Ch.3 

Sharks or Whales is not a stupid question 

Bakugou pov

°•○●○•°•○●○•°•○●

"I noticed it, you aren't slick katsu!"

"The fuck? Noticed what!"

"You know what, how could you"

"WOULD YOU STOP CRYING ITS ANNOYING AS FUCK"

"you don't even tell me you love me, but you can do that"

"The fuck...we only started dating like a week ago"

"Yea but- but- i"

"You what? Huh? Tell me what your talking about or get out of my face"

God, I really need to stop making impulse decisiones. I could just keep fighting with her though...she is always hotter when she is angry. That's how this all started in the first place, at that damn sports festival. Why did I have to find it so hot? 

Fucking occhaco, are you really only my type when your in battle? 

"Just shut up okay." 

"Wh-"

I made myself quick to press my lips to hers and when she gasped I skipped my tongues in too. I wanted to be slow and sensual, even with tongue, but I couldn't. The slower I kiss her the more I remember how much I am not right for her. How she is feeling something but I can't feel it anymore. I skipped my hand behind her back and drew our lower bodies closer together. 

At least occhaco is a good kisser. I bet that stalker bitch from earlier isn't. I bet she is crusty and musty and fucl she was hot though. No. She is weird, she probably got in here because of her mom so she is spoiled. What a fucking princess. 

All of a sudden chaco trips on something and is pulled away from the kiss she falls backwards and landed flat on her ass. It takes some work not to laugh but whoever did that is going to die. Even if I wasn't really enjoying myself there, I could've been. They wouldn't know. 

I look down at my girlfriend in shock. What catches my eye first, though, is something wrapped around her ankle. I bent down to see what it was. I quickly got confused because she had a dead vine wrapped half way up her call and an equally dead rose on the end of it. 

"What the fuck"

I look back up to see the stalker doing her own thing and talking with shitty hair and a dulce face. It has to be her, no one else has this quirk. I don't know her quirk, but nobody else would've done this. Fucking wierdo. 

I start walking across the classroom to where she is sitting on top of her desk, manspreading and laughing with my extras. 

"No, I'm a serious shark or whale?" Y/n asks with the most serious face I've ever seen.

"Uhm sharks, duh"

"Why though?" 

"Sharks have cool sharp teeth and they move super fast" 

"Everyone says that, but think about this...whales are so big and fat and they dont even care, they are just fucking bosses, being slow as shit and still monchin on krill and small animals, they dont even have to fight or anything"

"I-y/n you-"

"No, imagine you could just walk around with your mouth open and food would just go in. "

"Oh my god, she is right," dunce face made a stupid look of awe at the girl. 

I wanted to snap her for fucking doing that to occhaco...but for a second I was actually distracted by how she was right about shitty whales. Fucking wierdo, though.

"Oi, stalker bitch" 

I could tell she was a creep by how fast her eyes lit up after I yelled at her. Who does she think she is? She likes it when i'm mad or something? 

"Me!? Yes sir, what do you need?" She hopped off of her desk and practically bounced over to me. 

"What the fuck was that, you shitty stalker?" I spoke darkly and pointed to where me and my fucking...girlfriend had been kissing. 

"What do you mean?" She asked, looking at me with a serious face. 

"That fuckong stunt you just pulled with the fucking flower," I hissed leaning down as I yelled at her. 

"Oh, I was jealous." She said once again completely seriously,  but she had a bright smile on her face. Why is she being so straightforward, has she never met a guy before? Half the girls in this school crush on me, obviously, but they wouldnt dare say dumb shit like that to me. 

"THE FUCK" 

"I saw you kissing your girlfriend, and it made me get this feeling like i wanted you to not do that...I mean, are you dense, never been jealous before? Or do you not know what it means..."

"I KNOW WHAT IT FUCKING MEANS, BITCH! BUT YOU DONT FUCKING KNOW ME, BACK OFF!"

"But..." she looked at the floor again, I swear if she fucking cries I will throw her. 

Her aura went 360 and for some reason I got a shitty feeling in my chest, but it was moving lower...I think. Was I horny right now? What the fuck, no. 

Her head came back up and she was smirking, I wonder if this is something she got from her mom...

Those e/c eyes met with mine holding an erotic feeling that shot down my whole body. Her face was so fucking pretty right now, for no good reason and she fully lifted to peer up at me. It was much too effective in turning me on, since I was already leaning towards her a bit in my anger.

I grosled at the feeling, and then she rose her finger to point at me, just like fucking lunch time. She pressed it to my chest making me want to hit it away, but for some reason I waited to see what she would say. 

"I only really came to see you..." she spoke in a ridiculously seductive tone but at the same time...a whisper. 

"W-"

"Shh" her finger was brought off of my chest and pressed to my lips in a huh motion. 

"Don't worry boom boom, I know I don't know you but if you would enlighten me im sure I could understand you a bit better...I only have one question..."

"SPIT IT OUT YOU SHITTY STALKER!"

as soon as i yelled her finger retracted and her face returned to an innocent smile. Why does this bitch have so many faces? She looked way to excited for her question, while I was confused as to why it felt like two seconds ago she might litteraly try to fuck me, and now she looks like a kid in a candy store. 

"Sharks or whale, bakugou? SHARKS OR WHALES!?"

oh fuck this shit...

Timeskip* one week of y/n being totally confusing but also sexy later. 

Y/n pov 

°•○●○•°•○●○•°•○●○•°

I think I did something bad. I think I actually got them to break up. I don't wanna do that because my new friend mina explained what homewrecking was, and that isnt my goal. I just want to know if seeing his face all the time makes it less special, or if this crush is more. 

I shouldn't have gone so hard in combat training I guess..

"Whatever, its was stupid anyway"

"Yeah, uraraka, you deserve better than him, fucking dick"

The cute round-faced girl had tears bordering her eyes and was allowing everyone to comfort her in her loss. 

I felt pretty fuckibg terrible about what I had caused, I mean they were in a real relationship. If I had been dating somebody for a long time, and then some weirdo showed up and ruined it...I would hate her. 

"I cant believe he is so mean.." she clung to who I think is yaoyorozu, and cried into her chest. 

"It's not your fault, you didn't know he was all like that, it was only a week"

The creation- quilled girl spoke as she pet occhaco's hair and soothed her. Wait a fucking mintue. They only were dating for a week? The fuck?

"Hahahahahaha oh my god" I couldn't help but break out into laughter. 

This past week I came to teams with the fact that maybe her and him had something real, so I figured I'll settle for being free from hell, as opposed to trying to..I don't know. I don't even know what my plan was when I moved schools. I wanted to see him, meet him, make him angry again or something. 

However I never thought through a plan. So I suppose I would just have to enjoy the fact I can have male friends now. I started to back off, but one week, and she is crying over him burning me up a bit. What the hell?

"Y/n what the fuck!?" Ashido whispered and yelled at me. 

I turned a bit to face her, instead of the ridiculous scene in front of me. She had her brows furrowed and looked at me like I was crazy. 

"Think about it mina..they dated for one week...and she is crying because they broke up..it's like..it's like...bahahaha," i couldn't finish the thought without laughing but asido seemed to also find my humor in this situation. 

I saw how she almost laughed before catching herself and feighing seriousness. The other girls, minus occhaco and momo, had turned their attention towards us, looking wearily at our closeness. 

"Excuse me, I AM GOING TO GO TEACH Y/N SOME DECENCY" mina whispered yelled again, turning to face me with a fake angry look. I wasn't sure what was happening, because I have never been in a situation like this before. So I let out a little giggle and nodded, my face red and starting to hurt from the smile and laugh I couldn't suppress. 

Mina grabbed my arm just under my elbow, gripping it almost tight enough to hurt. She dragged me around the corner of the living room, into the hallway of yaoyorozou's house. We had all been told to rush here after school for an urgent matter.

When I first read the group texts I kinda thought it might be an orgy, so I figured I would come even though I didn't really want to. However..I showed up to this mansion to find a crying floaty-girl and a lot of food for some reason. It confused me because at my old school girls didn't really cry, or get sad, or be emotional. When they did it was usually about reason things, like a stolen diary, hair pulling during combat training, or one of the worst offences at my old school: playing pop music. 

Yeah, it's a weird thing for a ton of princesses and rich girls to care about..but I've seen girls lose eyes over playing "mad at disney '' in the dorms when we all know it is pretty much a sin.

Mina pushed me back against the wall of the hallway, and I would be aroused if now for the fact that she backed away and crouched over herself in laughter. 

"I-pfft I don't baha know why but bahahaj you are so right"

I didn't even become surprised by her action, I just laughed with her letting myself slide down the wall. 

"If you hadn't asked pfft bakugou that question, they would probably still be dating!" She was fucking wheezing and an idea came to my mind.

"Hey, ashido, you think if they made it to two weeks they could have scheduled a time to bahah hug in the halls"

"Y/n pfft, I think that's more of a ....3 three week anniversary thing"

We were both in fetal positions in momos big velvet- themed hallway laughing our asses off. We had no idea how the guys were reacting to this strange break up, but if a girl hated me for one of my key personality traits I'd be pretty set on..not dating them either. Good for you boom boom. Pftt ``y-you think someday we can -maybe um..mk-kiss in the mo-mouth"

"Omg your too much bahahaha"

3rd person pov

Meanwhile bakugou, kaminari, kirishima and sero were sitting in separate places around kaminari's room, not minding the huge fight between their friend and y/n...and occhaco for some reason earlier. 

"I don't get it, why did you hit her after she already beat you bakugou..like y/n was so cool and I get you dont like to lose but that royal quirk thing was many as shit and you ruined the vibe"

"Tch, whatever, she is just a weirdo bitch"

"You know that's not true dude...she actually pretty hot"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP DUNCE FACE, YOU WANNA ME TO TREAT YOU LIKE MINETA" 

"Jeez, just being honest. We all know you like it when girls can fight...i mean it's like the only reason you went out with uraraka anyway."

"THAT FUCKING ROUND FACE! WHO IS SHE TO CALL ME TOO FUCKING SCARY." 

"I mean, you kinda were, but she a bit overreacting, sure"

"Shut up sero, if she is scared, she is allowed to be scared. Its not manly to shame her"

"I know kiri, but like, if you are gonna date bakugou, shouldn't you be someone who doesn't cry when he is mean. Cuz like he is mean all the time."

"I guess..I kinda imagined she would try to calm him down but she kinda just made us all feel guilty, huh"

"YEAH CUZ SHE IS A WHIMPY BITCH"

"Shut up, this isn't about you bakugou"

"THE HELL IT ISN'T"

"Hey guys, don't you think it's kinda weird that we are in a like...serious conversation, but we are all on our phones not looking at each other," Sero pitched in, still not taking his eyes off of his phone screen where he was playing clash of clans. 

He was right, the four boys were in opposite corners of the room occupying themselves with different social media. 

"No" kaminari replied as he scrolled through his phone, not actually doing anything on it

"Not really" kirishima added in, as he was searching instagram, looking for y/ns account because he had developed a curiosity to what she looked like out of uniform. 

He had only got a glimpse of her casual clothing on the first day, not enough to even process, and for some reason when you trained you hadn't had a hero suit either. It seemed you would just wear a tank top and sweats during hero training in your first week. 

Unbeknownst to him, you hadn't had one to wear in the first place. Most of your planning for life revolved around being lazy and not needing to do any work. So, unlike the students here, you had not planned or sketched any type of hero suit. You were however working on a pretty simple one that just allowed you to be comfortable while you worked, but mom definitely was going to um...do something about that. 

"its fucking normal tape arms, everyone does this shit" bakugou spoke kinda quietly. He was just hoping no one would look up and come see that he had actually succeeded in getting your instagram. He was finding out... a lot of new things. For one, he definitely wasn't seeing your casual everyday attire. 

His thoughts were a mess, he figured, unlike kirishima, that he would use your first and last name. While his friend used y/n kayama, your well known mother's last name. He had first went on the Internet and found that you scared the last name of a king, and he knew that your quirk was royal from what you explained during your battle with him.

The outfit you wore on the first day had him in for it. As that style was exactly his type, his eyes lingered too long. However seeing you as a ballerina and a fucking princess gave him a weird feeling. He didn't know what it was, but he hated it. He hated you, and your pretty posture and cool style and your fucking princess shit. He even hated the irony in how he called you a princess for even getting into U.A. However, if you were truly the princess of the elementus quirk family...he was going to have bigger problems than your stupid questions in class. . . .

[zxcerjnvxrh]

a list of my least favorite presidents, because i live to revise this list and it literally never gets old for some reason

5. James Buchanan

the love of my life, binky barnes, is named after this guy, which is a fucking tragedy

for context: 15th pres (1856-1861) pres immediately up to the american civil war

he can’t single-handedly be blamed for the war but he didnt do shit to stop it

he basically wouldnt take a stance on slavery and then was surprised when war broke out lmao

he was also probably gay, so like thats cool, but also: slavery.

4. Thomas Jefferson/John Adams

they share a spot bc i hate them both with equal intensity. they were also bffs (for a while until they hated each other??? it was weird)

3rd and 2nd pres

john adams’ level of anti-immigration is literally on par with trump

the alien and sedition acts of 1798 

thomas jefferson was a hypocritical piece of shit

im not just talking about the “all men are created equal” whilst owning literal slaves thing either

this bitch claimed to be a “strict constitutionalist” meaning he wanted to follow the constitution word for word and didnt like extra interpretations. nowhere in the constitution does it grant the president the power to buy MASSIVE grants of land without going thru congress. guess what the fuck tjeffs did

fuck manifest destiny in its entirety

also fuck thomas jeffersons stupid barbie dreamhouse in monticello

3. Andrew Johnson

this BITCH

hes the other side of the fuckhat president lincoln sandwich (by which i mean hes the 17th pres, following lincolns assassination) 

he basically fucked over reconstruction

for whatever reason, most textbooks fail to call him out for being the racist peice of shit he was

wow what a racist!!! even tho slavery was over by this point but he still managed to fuck over black people like it was his job!!! whoddathunkit

im also pretty sure he was crusty as fuck

i just googled him and yeah, hes ugly

2. Andrew Jackson

TRAIL OF TEARS

TRAIL OF TEARS

TRAIL OF TEARS

7th pres

racist as fuck and also literally crazy??

one time davy crockett (who like....hated him) saved his life from a would be assassin and jackson got pissed that crockett hadn’t let him beat the shit out of the guy himself

jackson routinely said “fucking fight me” to people who opposed him and won

i honestly thing beating people into a pulp with his cane was a legitmately passtime of his

like when he was brutally massacring native americans that is

2.5. Ronald Reagan

you know why

he gets the 2.5 spot bc if you had asked me 4 months ago i wouldve said hes my least favorite but then Nov 8th 2016 happened

40th pres

my family had no lineage in america in the 80s but my dad distinctly remembers watching reagan say “sanctions dont work”  about south african apartheid and the hatred he felt in his heart that day was genetically passed down to me

the fact that he let THOUSANDS of americas die from the aids crisis simply bc they were gay and him/his administration were basically like “they deserve death anyway”

ksjdhfkjhf fucKC THIS GUY

he also is the face of the evangelical right and as someone who grew up in both christian and conservative space: FUCK. THIS. GUY

ronald reagan is the reason why snakes manifest in my house

also the reason why so many gay americans lost their lives/their friends /have such a fucked up history ha ha i hope he dies twice, somehow

1. Donald Trump

listen to me: i have both serious and comedic complaints about every man on this list, but donald trump takes the cake because he’s taken a piece of every shithead from history and implemented their bullshit into his campaign/presidency in some form or fashion

donald trump would get along swimmingly with john adams. i dont trust anybody who could get along with john adams

trump is ruining my country right before my eyes and i feel fucking powerless

im sick that he will ever go down in history as an american president

i wish i could personally tell donald trump how much i hate him. i feel like he needs to know.

i like to drop hints that i hate donald trump

i hate donald trump