#if it's Left Field please correct me bc im having such a hard time reading his character

[devotioncrater]

my original tags on this post were this, which im gonna continue expanding on in a fit of Word Vomit Processing. most of this stuff has already been said by various people in the fandom:

the only way this repression makes sense is if wilson's biggest core Desire is to feel loved for who he is, including his bitchy attitude and chronic lying and affinity for gay culture. he also wants someone who understands that his work schedule – his work in general – is going to be whack. some nights he won't be at home. sometimes he'll have to leave mid-whatever.

(the professional aspect is easier to digest, which is why he's the resident slut of PPTH. nurses, patients, etc etc. they know the nature of his job already, as opposed to his, say, his first ex-wife).

but the kicker of this Desire is that wilson doesn't believe he can be loved unconditionally for who he is. he shows/expresses time and time again that he compartmentalizes love as what he is for the other person. most overtly, house's enabler. less overtly, the role of Caretaker Husband (first marriage).

his core Fear, then, is a double-edged thing where on one side, he is Never Enough; but on the other side, he is Too Much.

with his first ex-wife he was Never Home Enough.

with bonnie he was With House Too Much.

wilson is like. a mess. a true mess. this Fear mixed with this Desire makes it difficult for him to communicate what he wants/needs from others. he's hidden behind a wall.

Desire-driven: If I Am In A Bitchy Mood, I Hope They Will Still Love Me

Fear-driven: If I Let Someone Take Care Of Me, I Will Prove To Be Too Much

Combo-driven: If I Pretend I Don't Have Needs, And Fulfill Them Somewhere Else, The Other Person Will Love Me More Because I Am Not A Burden To Them

additional thing: wilson has a tendency to hide behind altruism when his motivations are selfish (see his reactions to house's ketamine treatment).

he's been repressing shit so long, tbh at times i don't think even he 100% understands the Why of what he's doing or what's missing inside or what could help him. there's shame attached to this entire thing, because repression stems from shame. hence, the chronic lying.

the crux of his constant cheating is that it's an easy out. it isn't about the sex, per se, but more of the fact that he feels trapped and can't bring himself to be honest and ask for a No Fault Divorce. because then he'd have to reconcile — and i mean Reconcile way beyond the shallow nod of acknowledgment — with the fact that he's been emotionally cheating on his wives with house. and what would that say about him? about why marriages are an ill-fitting shoe? ergo it's just easier for his fragile, internalized comphet worldview to inherit the role of Sleazy Serial Cheater Husband.

this repression is also a common phenomena of toxic masculinity, because men who preform in toxic masculinity feel like it's their "role" to be a caretaker even at their own expense. especially in regard to their romantic relationships with women. a Strong, Suffer-In-Silence archetype.

except wilson cannot fit in that archetype because wilson loves a good bitch session. absolutely he bottles things up, but how many times have we seen him roll his eyes? sigh? do a whole body cringe? whenever house crosses a line, he bitches about it. this dude's born to be a notorious bitcher, yet (self-)conditioned to bottle it in.

furthermore, because wilson has a compulsion to fit into the societal box of a straight man with a wife and a career (reinforced by a later remorse of never having kids), wilson believes all these goals are what he should aim for. that if he attains them, he'll feel okay with himself. but shocker, he never fits quite right. he gets bored. and so instead of looking introspectively about why that is, he throws himself deeper into denial.

with house he seems to attain a sense of control that he cant find inside himself or in his failing romantic relationships. he acts more surefooted and less impulsive when house and him are on good terms. thanks to house's own wild life, there isn't a chance for monotony to fester.

house is externally as fucked in the head as wilson feels he himself is internally, and this provides wilson a form of relief in Camaraderie. there are hundreds of times where house acts out in questionable behaviors, but wilson seems to understand his motivations more often than not. wilson can see right through house. why? because wilson has known house for decades. he's seen it all. and whatever new thing arises, wilson can extrapolate empathy from his own lived experiences. they're interwoven with similarities.

moving in with house works until it doesn't. until wilson has no more viable excuse for why he's a 40-something-year-old man living with another man that he can't tear himself away from.

on paper, house fits into wilson's Core Desires, and alleviates Core Fears by not leaving even at wilson's worst. shit, he even encourages out everything wilson tries to hide away. wilson is happiest with house. wilson is most affected by house. house takes and takes and takes from wilson, but when it does matter, he will meet wilson halfway (i.e. the sincere s3 rehab apology).

but when compared against a heteronormative dreamscape? house couldn't be more ill-fitted. middle-aged, needy, a man, a doctor, short haired, callous, misanthropic, prickly, impulsive, an addict, a man. probably not straight.

and like. the ironic thing is that house does love wilson for who he is as well as what wilson is for. but house is a man, not a woman, and house is so far from perfect that it's inconceivable for wilson to begin to justify a romantic relationship with him. the whole Keeping Appearances thing would just. fall apart. completely.

Come Here, Go Away. it makes sense given that wilson feels fundamentally unloveable as himself. feels fundamentally wrong as himself. he molds this Boy Best Friend relationship with house to the very brink of Platonic, but refuses house to say I Love You or make any serious romantic overtures. it's too painful. he wouldn't be able to chase after this Heteronormative Ideal anymore. wilson would have to make peace with himself and all his insecurities. wilson — chronic liar wilson — would have to be honest with himself about his entire landscape of needs/wants.

Come Here, Reaffirm I Can Be Cared About No Matter What And That I'm Okay.

Go Away, You Don't Fit Into My Precariously Built Self-Image And I Don't Want To Smash A Mirror About Who We Are To Each Other And How That Reflects To The Outside World.

the wall isn't as high with house as it is with his wives, but it's still something that needs to be leaped over. usually through bets, pranks, lying, manipulation. there's a ritual, a process, that he has him and house partake in before he gets his needs met. it's only ever direct when he's at a boiling point or when the situation calls for it (i.e. in s3 with scenes of him yelling at house to get out of his office; or him telling house to make things right with tritter; or that entire atlantic city hotel pushing-things-til-they-break scene).

wilson is a fundamentally lonely character. does he have other friends???? does he have hobbies???? no. ergo wilson needs house to be on his own miserable level because he has no one else. he would be all alone otherwise. misery loves company. this isolation also could tie into why he consistently chases after The Heterosexual Club. if wilson is Straight, he isn't Othered. 2004 america was notoriously homophobic sowieso.

the funny tragic thing about this is that wilson lectures house on finding happiness. like dude, firstly that is rich coming from you. secondly, if house found happiness outside of you, you would try to (subconsciously) sabotage it out of anxiousness. if house found happiness with you, you would try to sabotage it out of avoidance. make up your mind!!! you can't have your cake and eat it too.

anyways. the comphet goes crazy sick inside wilson. My Body Is A Cage That Keeps Me From Dancing With The One I Love type beat. like i genuinely truly believe that if he had just had one (1) gay orgasm with house, it'd change the trajectory of his life. but alas. he finds comfort in man-made misery and refuses to be honest about why that's easier to deal with than happiness.

he runs and runs and runs away from himself in the hopes that who he should be is someone far better/more likeable. or at the very least that it's someone Fine, someone tolerable

writing a hilson fanfic in wilson's pov is like

[gunnrblze]

Mischaracterizations are prevalent in fandoms. I'm curious, which ones of the CoD:Ghosts franchise bug you the most, and make you want to pull out your hair once you see them in fics/other materials?

This question created several additional thoughts, so I’m putting all my yapping below the cut lmfao.

Tbh it doesn’t bother me a whole lot except when it’s a large part of said character, or one of their only canon descriptions/facts/etc. I think it’s great for ppl to create what they want, esp when a lot of the ghosts have little/no info so we quite literally have to make shit up and fill in the likely blanks, but if you’re straying so far from who a character is…😟

Like, Keegan is described and shown throughout the game as being a very quiet man…so it does make me side eye when people portray him as this talkative guy, or someone with a really big personality lol cause that’s just not the vibe. That’s why I rb’d that thing, because I was thinking about how he’s the most popular ghost by far, and I think a lot of those fans aren’t necessarily into the rest of the ghosts game (and they don’t have to be, just an observation). I think that’s why so much of the content made about him outside of the actual ghosts fandom seems out of left field, bc people just kinda take a hot character and do whatever with him (which again, is fine, free will in fandom is good and necessary). I also think that’s why so many people get him confused as being part of other CoD games, because they aren’t aware of where his character even comes from in the first place.

Now this may be a bit of an unpopular opinion bc I know a lot of ppl hate some of the smut aspect that’s written about these characters, because they include themes that are/seem ooc, but I’m gonna be honest…that part doesn’t bother me so much because at the end of the day, people just want to put their fantasies and ideas onto hot masked man…and I get it lmao. Not to say im necessarily gonna read it, esp stuff with hard kink type shit, but it’s more so bothersome when people mischaracterize them because they don’t pay attention to the actual canon character in other fics/materials.

That’s why I kinda separate smut fic from everything else a bit, because a lot of smut I’ve noticed, especially with Keegan specifically, is written ooc, because making it canon/character correct isn’t the point, the sexy time shit is. Now I still prefer reading smut that seems largely in character lol, but I do have to defend the larger idea here that it’s not a crime to write an ooc smut fic because half the time…the smut is the main focus, not the canon/implied personality of the character.

I completely understand the shock of seeing certain smut in the first place (talking about the more fucked up shit here…), especially when it’s then placed on a character you know and love, but it honestly doesn’t bother me that much-and maybe it’s because I’ve been on the internet for too long💀- but that’s kinda the point of fandom I think…doing whatever pleases you, having an outlet. That’s the type of smut I think is very obviously written with the idea in mind, and not necessarily ‘would the character do/behave like this?’. Because yea, these ghost boys would most likely not do all these fucked up things, but I think people still deserve the freedom to write it, and they’re going to anyways lmfao (IF you’re tagging disturbing content correctly, you owe people that much!)

I’ve been having those thoughts for a while now so I had to yap them out of my head lol, but to answer the actual question, aside from Keegan, I hateeee seeing the Walker fam mischaracterized. I think because (it seems) they have more info available on them compared to the other ghosts, so when I see people just giving their personalities a 180 I’m like…Hesh would NOT act like that😩. Especially with Elias because he’s my husband obviously…so people missing larger parts of his character or stuff that’s implied about him makes my eye twitch a little lol.

Also, I don’t typically see a whole lot of ooc stuff for the ghosts in the first place tbh (minus Keegan, bc he has reached the CoD masses of course). Because we’re a smaller fandom, and I think people tend to stay in character more in smaller fandoms (at least from what I’ve seen) because there’s so little content available on characters, and it’s like we’re all clinging to what we DO know about them lmfao.

Thanks for attending my ted talk 💋

[batfamtv]

me after writing smut: is this who i am? is this who i represent? lmao i've never written smut until trese, i guess the thirst was too much, let me know how y'all like it! thank you so much for all your support, ily <3

(ﾉ´ з `)ノ

kambal x reader; established relationship

gif by @rasputinaillyanna (see their original gifsets here!)

sfw

the three idiots

seriously, alexandra feels like she keeps aging 20+ years whenever you three are together and goofing around

this is one of the reasons why you’re not allowed on the field with them, they’d get absolutely nothing done

that, and the twins simply wont put you in danger under any circumstances

alexandra also treats you like a sister (in law) and wants you safe, but can only do so much to keep you out of their lives since you still find ways to help them out

absolutely rowdy when you’re with basilio, you and him practically have a lot of inside jokes and a secret language

people would give you both weird looks when you’re out in public, just because you’re both so damn loud

with crispin you’re more mature (but not a lot), he does these grand gestures like taking you out on expensive dates, takes instagram/pinterest style pics of you

basilio also takes pics of you, but those are some of the most unflattering ones that he sends to your groupchat as memes

the ppl who arent familiar with your relationship with the twins are almost often confused when they see you with just the one twin: they’d think “huh i saw this couple a week ago, but i could have sworn the boyfriend had much shorter hair, it couldn’t have grown that long in a week, right?”

when you do go out with the twins, they flank you and you almost get squished in between them, so sometimes you have to push them both to the sides so that you would have space to move around

the three of you like to just chill at the mall sometimes, go window shopping and then eat samgyup/mang inasal later on

other times when you manage to drag alexandra with you, people would assume that you guys are on a double date, and alexandra has the ugliest/most disgusted look on her face as she corrects them “these are my brothers” “im gay”

in your groupchat (just you and the twins) crispin is the sweet, doting one who would text you “have you eaten?” “want us to pick something up for you on the way home?” while basilio sends you memes and selfies of the twins

they send you videos and pics of pets they meet “today we met brownie and blackie”

with regards to living arrangements, the twins have separate rooms (basilio’s is the messy one, smells weird)

when you moved in, alexandra offered you your own room, and most of the time that’s where the boys stay anyway

the bed is much larger than theirs because it needs to accommodate all three of you

you three try to cook meals for ate alexandra, but it almost always turns out disastrous - mostly when basilio insists on helping

so you always make him run errands (“can you go pick up some more garlic and magic sarap”) while you and crispin man the stoves

you braid basilio’s hair while crispin tunes his guitar!!

and you spend a couple of hours listening to crispin play the guitar, basilio’s head now resting on your lap

crispin’s movie taste are like *film* and *poetic cinema* while basilio might enjoy movies that are so bad they’re good, but you three are all suckers for superhero ensemble movies and horror movies

the boys become really annoying when watching filipino horror movies because they like to point out mistakes in the film “aswangs dont do that” “why would you go there all alone are you stupid???”

“please boys i just wanna watch the movie”

a huge cuddle pile

both boys run hot, so during cold nights (that never happen, bc you live in the philippines) you’re all warm and toasty between them

both light sleepers! they were pretty heavy sleepers when they were kids/teenagers, but the occupational hazard of their jobs require them to be ready at a moment’s notice

they still, however, snore quite loudly

crispin doesn’t ever tend to move positions when sleeping, he wakes up in the same position he fell asleep in

basilio rotates around the bed like hands of a clock

most often falls off the bed, but clumsily climbs back up and cuddles you

really really simpy when it comes to you, though most of the time it’s just you three sharing one brain cell (it’s with you, mostly), they can be quite romantic and cheesy if they want to

crispin probably has his brother as just “Basilio” on his phone, and “Y/N ❤️" for you

basilio has “my love ❤️😍😘💘 ” for you and crispin’s number isn’t even registered lol

nsfw under the cut

nsfw

threesome? threesome

boys barely do anything separately and usually just have a Single Thought in both their heads, so if one is horny, the other one is 69% (lol) horny as well

you realize that crispin doesn’t like to be teased at work, but basilio enjoys it so much

you find this out when you’re alone and horny, so you send a pic of you touching yourself to the boys in your groupchat

crispin sees it first, but doesn’t say anything?? he honest to god just left you on read

meanwhile basilio also sees your pic not too long after and you quickly get a “what the fuck” as a reply from him

like 10 mins later he sends you a pic of him in what looks like a washroom and his cock is straining in his pants

he texts you “had to find a washroom so fucking fast so that ate alex and the police captain doesn’t see me so fucking hard in my pants” and “wanna eat you pussy babe”

crispin does text you when the three are on their way home, not mentioning the picture you sent “we’re on our way home”

and at first you thought he is mad at you bc he didn’t bring the nude up?? does he not want you anymore :(

but the moment they arrive crispin all but sprints to your shared bedroom and sees you there, in your underwear

holds your cheeks in one hand, “what the fuck was that baby, hmm? what did you send us?”

you try to ask if he’s mad bc you sent him a nude, ask him if there’s anything wrong, but he just lets your face go as he takes his suit off, basilio finds his way to your room, locks it, and gives you a kiss

basilio whispers “missed you baby” against your mouth before moving away to undress

crispin, now fully naked in front of you, makes you suck his cock, which is hard and twitching, its tip leaking with precum, he makes you place both his hands on your head, “do you know how surprised i was when i saw a text from you and it’s a picture of you touching your cunt? hmm?” he sighs as he sees you looking up at him, eyes watering as you struggle to take all of his cock down your throat “i had to stop myself from getting hard in front of everyone, baby, basilio couldn’t even do that”

basilio huffs but the boys reposition you so you’re in bed and on your back, crispin kneeling to your side, his cock still throbbing in your mouth, basilio positions himself between your thighs, moaning when he sees how wet you are

basilio removes your panties before rushing to sniff your cunt, groaning in delight--you’re sure his eyes roll to the back of his head before he dives into your cunt

you moan into crispin’s cock and he grunts, shoving more of his cock into your mouth, now moving faster, “i really wanna cum down your throat baby, would you let me?”

you nod and he pushes his cock all the way into your mouth, your nose practically touching his groin and pubes

you gag, for a moment panicked as you try to breathe in, while crispin just eyes you, his cock growing ever harder when he looks at your face wet with tears and drool, he grabs your hair, softly at first, to make sure you’re okay, and when you nod crispin groans as he sets up his pace, groaning as he feels his orgasm building

basilio, meanwhile, is licking and sucking your clit with three fingers knuckles deep in your cunt, and when he starts to feel you spasming, a telltale sign that your orgasm is approaching, he pulls his mouth and fingers out and quickly replacing them with his fat cock

immediately, you and basilio both groan, your eyes roll to the back of your head as you feel yourself so full of cock

basilio curses under his breath before taking your legs and resting them against his shoulders “fuck, y/n, im sorry i’m not gonna last long” “your pussy got me so fucking hard you tasted so good baby, you know how much i love your little pussy, right?”

crispin groans at this before he pulls his cock out of your mouth, leaning down to kiss you, he then moves down your neck and your tits, making sure he marks your chest

basilio whimpers and thrusts three more times before releasing a long groan, his cum exploding deep in your pussy “fuck baby you feel so good” he manages to pull out and you see his cock wet with his cum and your juices before settling beside you, panting harshly

you barely had the type to recuperate before crispin flips you on your stomach, making sure your face is resting on the pillows before he thrusts into you with a grunt

“fuck, still a tight little pussy after basilio rammed your cunt, huh?”

your eyes rolling, you couldnt do much other than hold onto the sheets and basilio’s hand, moaning loudly when you feel crispin’s fingers on your clit

“can you take one more, y/n? can your pussy take one more load?”

speechless, you nod, trying to grind your ass against crispin’s hips, but his hands on your hips hold you firm

he grunts approvingly, “good baby, take it deep in your pussy okay? and cum on my cock, baby, i wanna feel it”

you cum on his cock, almost violently, and twins groan at the sound of your moaning, and the sight of you spasming and shaking on crispin’s cock

a couple of deep thrusts later, crispin also cums deep into your pussy, his cum now mixed with basilio’s

crispin moves to get a washcloth to clean the three of you up, before all three of you collapse in bed, huddled together, basilio with his arms wrapped from behind--already falling asleep, you rest your head against crispin’s arm

“so, no more nudes when you’re at work?”

crispin laughs softly before pressing a kiss on your forehead, “unless your cunt is ready to take two cocks at once, no nudes when we’re at work”