#if it makes you feel better I'm thinking of having Riko in this AU

[leedee013]

101 Ways Not to Say I Do ! excited for start of it

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"And how do you know that, Hemmick?" Neil said, keeping his voice calm even as he wrapped his free arm around his waist, one of the tell-tale signs of nervousness that he always displayed when he felt he was backed into a corner. Andrew didn't think Neil was aware that he was doing it, actually.

"It's called the internet, idiot!" Nicky said. "There's only one place you two could have gone to, and it's not just some tourist trap. It's a place for people who are eloping."

Neil passed the phone back to Andrew, who begrudgingly let it fall back into his hand. Andrew zoned out Nicky's nagging as Neil turned as if to head towards the shower. He reached out and caught Neil's shirt before he could get very far, instead tugging Neil closer to him. Neil's piercing eyes scanned Andrew's features, finding amusement in something that he found there, and folded his arms around Andrew's shoulders. Andrew also knew that Neil could feel his accelerated pulse through his shirt, or take note of how Andrew's gaze was glued to Neil's lips, watching as they curled into that infuriating smirk of his.

But of course, when Neil shifted to lean in, it broke enough of the spell to let Nicky's voice invade his consciousness again. "—Drew? Andrew? You two had better not be fucking right now. In case you forgot, I need you to pick me up from the airport. Now."

Andrew clenched the phone a little tighter as he was distracted from the man in front of him. "Which exit?"

"Any. Just call me when you're here."

Andrew hummed his acknowledgement and hung up.

MASTERPOST

[ninyard]

So what do we think about that draft where jean kill himself on the phone with kevin ? Or an au where kevin off himself because he couldn’t handle riko’s and jean’s death?

(coming back from my mini mental health break to drop... this. uuhhh cw for jean kills himself on the phone with Kevin sorry)

-

It was late when Kevin's phone rang, loud enough to startle him from a light sleep, a half enjoyed Exy match still playing on his laptop.

Jean

Kevin paused the video.

Why was Jean calling him at this time of night? He should've been sleeping - No, at practice. Maybe he had just finished. Which schedule was he even on, now?

He pressed the green button to answer, but the feeling of something off came much quicker than any voice that would have followed. Dead air, for a moment too long, an electronic hiss, and Jean didn't speak.

"Hello?" Kevin answered, hearing a movement as he held the phone to his ear. "Jean, did you mean to call me?"

Jean laughed, a weak laugh, short and muffled. "I didn't think you'd actually pick up. That makes this all worse, doesn't it?"

His words were not English, instead French, spoken too loudly to be a secret. Kevin sat up and looked at the time again to make sure it was really as late as he thought it was. Maybe it's nothing, he comforted himself with a lie, a way of ignoring the churning feeling in his stomach that something wasn't quite right.

Jean's breathing was heavy, accompanied with a hum every few seconds, less of a happy sound, more of a struggle to keep quiet in whatever pain he was feeling.

"Why are you calling me?" Kevin whispered, like he might be heard if he didn't speak quietly. "Where is he?"

Jean laughed again, taking an inhale into the deepest parts of his lungs, before he said, "It doesn't matter."

"It does," Jean's uncharacteristic lack of care as to the king's whereabouts worried Kevin - If Riko wasn't with him... Kevin looked at the time again and again, trying to remember Riko's schedule. Why couldn't he remember?

Where was he, and why was Jean alone?

His question came out cautious. "What's going on?"

"Nothing that you can change," Jean's sigh was tired, a dismissal mixed with pessimism and hopelessness. "It's already done."

"What is?"

His heart started to pound in his chest, pushed by the tone of Jean voice, speaking french out loud without a care, no fear in his voice, but something different taking its place; Kevin was afraid, scared of the truth. Jean would never be so careless - so reckless and nonchalant. Something was wrong, so very wrong, and putting two and two together only left Kevin with too many questions and a rope around his chest.

"I hoped you wouldn't answer." Jean's voice cracked as he spoke, and Kevin shut his eyes at the sound. "I'm not even sure why I called in the first place, but ah. Here we are."

"Stop that. Where the fuck are you?"

"Only where i was always going to end up." He laughed, but instead of an awful, awkward sound, behind the laugh was thinly veiled pain. Something hurt. Jean was in pain, and Riko wasn't around, and Kevin started to pace, like he would find the answer somewhere else around the room.

Jean swallowed hard before continuing, "I would ask you how to say goodbye but you're not known to afford such courtesies, are you?"

Kevin stopped. "Goodbye?"

"Ah, so you do know how to say it," The sigh that followed had something behind it, something wistful, something painful, something... final. "Goodbye," he spoke in english, before a shaky inhale brought him back into French. "Are you happy?"

"With what?"

"Everything." His breath blew loudly through the mic of his phone. "With who you are, away from this place. In general, Kevin, are you happy now?"

Kevin hesitated. "Sometimes."

Jean hummed. "Better than never."

"What did you do?"

Jean doesn't respond immediately, and Kevin knew then what he hadn't wanted to know at all. He didn't want to know, he didn't want to assume, but then the sound of a sniffle and a low cry followed, and Kevin felt his heart start to break.

"What did you do, Jean?" He asked again, no louder than a whisper this time, quiet enough that he could hear Jean's whimper as he started to gently cry.

"Will you stay with me?" Jean replied, a swallow in his throat, the phone being placed down somewhere. "I don't want to die alone."

"Let me call someone," Kevin begged. "Why? Why would you- Why? You promised. You promised."

"Be quiet." He pleaded, and Kevin covered his mouth with his free hand. Was this happening? Jean's words were not as angry as his tone would have suggested, instead a soft quiver in his voice, as he tried to hold back the tears that Kevin pictured rolling down his face. "Just stay with me or fuck off and don't let my last thought of you be that you're an insufferable bitch."

Kevin almost laughed.

He almost laughed, knowing what was happening, knowing Jean was fading away on the other line, as he cried, dealing with whatever he'd done to himself, however it was happening.

"Tell me something I don't know," His accented voice was getting weaker with every agonising second that passed. "Talk to me."

Jean knew everything about him, almost everything, so much so that he couldn't think of something new, something that he didn't know. This was his only light in a dungeon of darkness, and that light was fading quicker than he'd left him alone all those months ago. It was not comfort Jean was looking for, but perhaps company, or a presence, just to believe that someone cared, to feel like someone was there at the end of it all. He didn't really want to know Kevin's trivia and fun facts; He said it himself - he didn't want to die alone.

"Don't do this to me," It was all that he could say, a desperate, despaired attempt, no other words meaningful enough to get him to change his mind. "Let me help you."

"You can't," Jean responded. "Not this time."

And Kevin knew that it was the truth.

He thought for a moment. What was he even supposed to do? He thought about calling for help anyway - on the one hand desperate to keep him alive, while on the other hand knowing what would be waiting for him on the other side of survival. There were no scenarios in which Jean would prosper. If Kevin called for help, it would have caused a scene, and he swore he could already hear the cracking of bones under the Master's cane, and the muffled screams that would follow.

Kevin pictured a fate almost worse than death in every attempt to end that night differently; Jean's choice had been made - this was it, and this was his goodbye.

The understanding did not make the reality any easier to digest, though. Instead it sat heavy in his stomach, weighing him down, into the fabric of the sheets he sank back down into.

"I'm sorry," He said. "I've never said that to you before. I wish i never left you."

"I don't," Jean had started to slur his words. "You deserve to be happy. Even just sometimes."

"You do too."

Jean clicked his tongue, but he didn't comment.

Perhaps he knew it was what he deserved, but it had always been more of a mythical concept than anything achievable. He knew what that darkness felt like, the familiar sound of those swirling spirals, the thoughts of can I live like this forever? that fueled the fire to bring him to this point.

The silence on the phone line lasted for an uncomfortable moment too long.

“Jean?”

Jean mumbled his response after another long pause. “Mmm?”

“Tell me something,” Kevin turned his question back on him. “Something that nobody knows about you.”

Jean’s laugh was so weak it could barely be considered a laugh anymore; more an exhale of air with something behind it. “I wanted to be a writer. Before all of this.”

“What would you write?”

Jean thought for a moment. “Poems. Things nobody would ever read. Sometimes…”

Kevin’s heart started thumping again as Jean trailed off into a mumbling silence. “Sometimes..?” He prompted him.

“Hmm?”

“What would you write other than poems?”

“Something for the theatre,” His words were slow and tired. “Something to be… performed.”

“What kind of stories?”

“Ah.” Jean sucked in a long, laboured breath. “Dramas. Something to leave… Mmm-” There’s a dull thud on the other end of the line. He couldn't hold back his quiet groan. “Something…”

“Jean.” Kevin wanted to tell him to be quiet, to wake up, to perk up. He wanted to tell Jean that his joke wasn’t funny and he was waiting for the punchline to come.

“Kevin.” He said, long and drawn out, twice the length it needs to be.

“Did you ever show anyone? Your stories?”

“Only Elodie.” His sisters name rolled off his tongue with a wet, gentle cry. “My actress.”

Kevin thought about her then, not knowing where her brother is, not knowing that he was dying on the other end of the phone.

“Did she like them?” When Jean didn't respond, Kevin raised his voice. “Jean.”

“Mmhmm,” He answered, not much of an answer at all. More of an acknowledgment of his quickly dimming consciousness, a murmur of life to prove he was still there. “Can’t talk much longer.”

“I know.” The painful acceptance left his mouth with a bitterness Kevin couldn't quite describe. “Tell me about her. Elodie.”

“I wish…” Jean spoke through almost shut lips, and Kevin winced at the sound of sleepiness as it started to consume him. “All alone.” He finished a thought he never spoke out loud. “I think… I'm tired.”

“I know.” Kevin said again. “Are you going to sleep?”

There was a struggle in his inhale as he answered, "I think so.”

Fuck. “Are you sure?”

“Mmhmm.”

There's a moment of silence.

“Jean.” Kevin calls. He could still hear his hollow breathing on the other line, but he called his name again when all that followed was silence, “Jean?”

“Mmm?” His breath slowed down to nothing, and Kevin was certain he could hear the slow and irregular ba-bum, ba-bum, ba-bum of his friends struggling heart.

“I love you.” Kevin said, but he felt sick as the words left his mouth. It felt worthless to him then, an empty promise. Words that should've been said far too long ago. “And I’m sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t keep you safe.”

“Mmhmhm,” Jean hummed in three syllables. "Safe."

And Kevin waited as the silence drew on. He heard it, the final breath that left his lips, the rattle of his breath through lungs too weak to take it.

One second, he counted, and another.

Another, and another, and another, and a million moments passed with nothing but silence and the knowledge of Jean's soul hopefully finding solace in another, brighter place.

He put his phone down, too scared to hang up, and waited for a sign that this wasn't final - waiting for a sign that said this would simply result in a punishment taken too far, that in a months time when Jean's wounds healed he would call Kevin again and apologise for breaking his promise.

Kevin tried not to care about the promise, to not watch the duration of the call going up and up and up with not so much as a peep from the other end of the phone. He tried not to wonder what would happen next - would his parents be informed, would they care? Would they send his body back to France, or would he die, anonymous and insignificant, buried in some American plot of land somewhere, that nobody cared enough about to put a bunch of flowers on top of?

Would the Master call Kevin, would anyone let him know, when they didn't know Kevin had taken another breath after Jean had taken his last?

"Oh Jesus fucking Christ!" The voice on the other end of the phone scared Kevin out of the depth of his thoughts. Was it Zane? He wondered, his finger hovering over the button to end the call, or was it just another voice of a nameless Raven who would forget about this all once the sun rose? "Get the King, tell him it's-"

Kevin hung up before he could hear any more.

The panic attack that followed was not a friendly one - It started slow, but before long, his chest was stuck in a vice, and his heart was prepared to take off. Kevin couldn't hold it in anymore - he cried, choking on the breaths that left his hands numb.

Kevin didn't hear Andrew coming in, but he stood by the door frame, watching, hardly visible through the blurry haze of tears in his eyes. Andrew glanced at the still-lit-up phone screen on the bed beside Kevin, and shut the door gently behind him.

No words were enough.

There's nothing that could be done to make everything okay again, nothing he could hear that that would stop the guilt, and the sadness, and the hurt, that all-consuming hurt.

All Kevin had to offer then, was pain, and bottomless grief, as he held his racing heart while it broke into a million, tiny pieces.

[carbon-dated-gal]

My personal HCs of Jeaneil bestfriendism

Tws: mentions of human trafficking, sh, injuries, parent death (Mary).

(Also set in Raven!Neil AU)

•Nathaniel willingly participates in human trafficking after Mary's death, b'cuz fuck you. Living without any real destination had killed Mary's humanity and identity and he's not going to end up like her.

•Belonging to someone, meant having their brand on your back (literally) and that was going to be his saving.

•But for better for worse, ichirou was the one to pay millions of dollars for someone something like him

•ofc, this meant Nathan couldn't touch him but it also meant he would end up in the exact same place that his mum had died for

•but that was when she doubted his capabilities in exy but now that variable was taken out, no?

•By the time abram arrives at Evermore, Jean already had been living there for an year

•anyway, jean and Nathaniel meet when they were both 15 yrs old. And due them both being in hard rebellious phase, they take swings and jabs at each other cuz well...

•they were about the only ones who saw each other as equal instead being something either above or below them

•he Goes by his middle name w both Jean and kev

•Jean picks out all the bell peppers from his meal and Neil sneaks them onto Kev's plate who begrudgingly eats them

•Codependency, man. So much codependency. You'll never see one w/o the other

•sometimes when Nathaniel/abram (ur pick) sneaks them out, it starts raining and jean immediately hates it. But his partner catches a couple droplets into his hand and he flicks them onto jean, smiling like he had no demons waiting for him back home

•and jean thinks the rain might not be so bad.

•post-game interview and reporters are onto jean asking him one intrusive question after and jean just glares at them. Flat eyes and all.

•'Ram jumps in, and asks the reporter why their mum doesn't love them and maybe that's the reason they turned out like this in life— Kev pulls him away by his collar, apologising to the reporter

•they get into trouble for that ofc

•when Kevin begs jean to help him after riko breaks his hand, abram tries to stop him. He knows they'll have to pay the price but the look jean gives him is absolutely heartbreaking, "it's Kevin, abram. We have to help him."

•Nathaniel doesn't help. But hours later, when riko asks about Kev's whereabouts, he steals himself and refuses to answer.

•stitching each other while trying to make the other one keep their head down. With, Nathaniel's presence in the nest, jean finds keeping his opinion to himself... A bit harder than in canon.

•"why the actual fuck is that man wearing fucking jorts here?"

"I dunno, jean. They look kinda cool"

"I'm sorry, cool?"

•abram: "yk, that one time when you took a step towards the right with riko, you'd have reached him faster if you skipped on ahead to him—"

Jean, dead tired and barely even listening: "jfc, it's 2.30 in the morning go tf to sleep."

•abram was the one to snatch away the blades from jean. He hides them and cradles Jean's face in his hands, avoiding the bruises. That was the first time Nathaniel had seen a man that vulnerable and comfortable around him

•after kev leaves, Nathaniel tries to take over his job by swallowing the vegetables from Jean's plate. He promptly spat out that piece of broccoli.

I have more ofc, but I feel this post is becoming a bit too long so.

[unwillingtoreachout]

Helloooo darling I'm here to tell you about butcher!Neil 🤭 sorry it's so long omg—I completely understand it takes a while for you to respond dw ❤️ actually your don't even have to respond to it at all if you don't want, I won't be offended :)

So in this au, for whatever reason, Nathan was allowed to keep Nathaniel and train him up as a second butcher, which means that this Neil is a very different Neil to the one we get in canon. He knows his way around a knife. He is a fighter, not a runner, but neither is he the Exy prodigy he would have been if he'd gone to the Nest. His father banned him from playing Exy when it started getting in the way of his training.

He never knew Riko, but he did get know Ichirou very well. I have to say that this au is mostly based on two moments from canon. Number one:

This single throwaway line really struck me in my reread. ‘Your father was someone to me.’ Like oh my god. From most people this would be a nice, if perhaps bland, sentiment. From Ichirou Moriyama, this is a strange and unexpected vulnerability that (the way I see it) betrays something more than a professional relationship. I'm not saying that they were best buds who had sleepovers and confessed all their darkest secrets and crushes to each other but like. I think Ichirou admired Nathan at the very least, and clearly held just enough affection for him that he wanted to talk to Neil and made him more inclined to give him a chance. ‘Your father was someone to me.’ Did Nathan care for Ichirou how he never cared for his own son? Did Ichirou respect Nathan the way he never respected his own uncle? We'll never know, but I'm sure as hell going to think about it. Anyway so this got me thinking about how close Ichirou and Neil would have been if they grew up together, and one potential answer is: very. So that's where this comes from.

In this fic, their relationship is really fucked up, and I have to put a disclaimer before I start properly explaining that I don't condone any of this lmao, I'm just exploring a fictional concept. In this fic, their relationship lies somewhere between brothers, best friends, lovers, and a ‘master and his dog’ dynamic. It's not really any of those things, but it's a weird fucked up combination of elements of them. Nathaniel has been taught from a very young age that the power dynamics in this world are strict. He is better than most people, above them, and he has to know this. He carries himself with a swagger and an arrogance that comes with knowing ten ways to gut a man and the power to make it happen. But he's also hyperaware of anyone who's above him in the pecking order, and it's automatic for him to submit to them easily, never putting up a fight or speaking out of turn (okay he's still not perfected this one, this is Neil we're talking about, but he's more restrained than in canon). This means that, no matter how close he is with Ichirou, and how much Ichirou cares for him, they sre never going to be equals. Ichirou is always going to have power over him, even if that power exists solely in Nathaniel's mind—it's so drilled in, he's never going to get away from it. (Think of Jean and his submissiveness, his need for structure. It's just devastatingly ingrained in him by this point.)

It was always said that Nathaniel was going to be part of Ichirou's personal guard/squad, that's what he was trained for, and he finally took up that position when he was 14/15 and Ichirou was 18/19. For a couple years, he accompanied Ichirou everywhere, guarding him, protecting him, carrying out his dirty work. Falling slightly, obsessively, in love with him. He always knew that he would die for Ichirou without any hesitation. If Ichirou handed him a gun and told him to pull the trigger, he did it, no matter who was on the other end. He usually preferred knives, though. Ichirou accommodated this.

This is getting LONG omg sorry so I'm not gonna go too in depth on Ichirou's feelings for Nathaniel but basically he trusts and cares and worries about him, and he feels a sense of duty and responsibility for him that I think is natural in anyone who has a friend a few years younger than them, yk? But he's not a good person, and he knows that Nathaniel will do anything for him, and he isn't going to not use that to his advantage.

Now on to the actual plot lmao sorry. Here comes in the second canon moment that inspired this:

That got me thinking.........what if Neil actually was a mole?

The summer before Riko breaks Kevin's hand, when Nathaniel is 16, Ichirou grows worried about Riko, and it's partially concern for his brother, but mostly just concern for how his ways (and Tetsuji's) might affect their business. So, secretly, because he doesn't want Kengo to grow worried or angry, he decides to send Nathaniel into the Ravens, undercover, to spy on them. This starts with his year in Millport (though it might make more sense if it was a more well known highschool because this time the whole point is for him to be recruited...idk), where he gets to play Exy again for the first time in years. Here, he becomes Neil Josten. Despite himself, despite knowing that it's immature and he has more important things to worry about, that this is just a game, just a means to an end, Neil is absolutely thrilled. So fucking excited to be back, especially because this year he doesn't have anything to worry about except improving and getting recruited to the Ravens. It's basically everything he's ever wanted but couldn't have, and now he's being ordered to do it. Literally the dream.

Except, Kevin leaves the Ravens, and with him goes Neil's chances of being recruited. They'd counted on Kevin's unorthodox recruitment methods to get Neil on, knowing Riko wouldn't give a shit about a newbie unless Kevin convinced him to give him a chance. Now, they were fucked. They decided to wait out the rest of the season just in case, and were just about to give up on it all when Wymack approached Neil. This wasn't what Ichirou had planned at all, but he realised it was an opportunity he couldn't turn down. Neil wouldn't be up close and personal with Riko like he'd wanted, but this way he could at least keep an eye on Kevin and make sure he wasn't spilling all of their secrets, and it could prove to be useful in a whole host of other ways. So, Neil accepts.

I think the fic would have very similar events to the canon trilogy, but it would feature Neil being even more mysterious than canon (if that's possible lmao) and keeping Ichirou informed of all the goings on, and Andrew would definitely be even more suspicious of him and not let him off as easily, so they'd probably have a much stronger rivalry, but Neil still manages to work his way into the Foxes's hearts somehow. He's very resourceful.

Not entirely certain how I'd end this but I like the idea of Ichirou realising that Neil is much happier like this and (once he becomes the head of the empire) releasing him from his duties, instead allowing him to just spend his life playing Exy.

Jesus Christ, sorry that this is so long, I was certain it was going to be a short explanation but then I just kept going 😭😭😭 I hope it makes sense, at least!!

First of all, sorry if you sent this some time ago and I'm just now replying 😭

Second of all tho, AHHHHHH!!!! THIS IS SO EXCITING, I LOVE THIS IDEA!!!!

Okay so, the whole "your father was someone to me" I did not remember at all but that's really interesting because that could imply so many things, and it makes me wonder if Neil feels like he has to live up to Nathan's standard in a way in order to gain Ichirou's approval (idk this setting is kind of reminding me of how Riko is always trying to get Kengo and Ichirou's attention, so maybe Neil is willing to do anything for Ichirou because he thinks that's how Ichirou will pay attention to him??) maybe I'm reaching but even if that's not the case I'm still really intrigued by their dynamic

I love the idea of Neil actually being a mole and the only person who truly suspects anything is Andrew (and maybe Aaron a little bit), and also Neil trying to act like a normal person when he hasn't been normal a single second of his life. It makes me wonder if he'd fall for the stuff that Neil does in canon, like does he figure out the twins swapped places quicker? Does he suspect Andrew is trying to drug him and he goes along with it to not raise more suspicions?

Alsoooo, Neil getting back into exy and loving it??? I'm gonna cry because I always loved how it's pretty clear that Neil could have always ended up like his father or like Riko but instead he chose to obsessively play a sport with his found family instead of violence. And I feel like, in this case, it's similar in the sense that when he is given the choice he would still choose exy and still choose the foxes

[capcavan]

I actually want to congratulate you on your work because what I don't think a lot of people in this fandom understand is that Riko is a character that is FUCKING HARD to get right. Not just to understand, but to WRITE. You can't make him too unhinged or he's just a cartoon villain and you can't make his actions too light (If you're writing within canon) or he looks like a pathetic clown instead of the actual threat he is on canon and if you aim for the middle he can end up just bland (AND I WILL SAY the greatest offenders in this are Riko haters and not his stans). And even in your most redemptionest AUs you manage to write him in a way that is consistent with the existing characterisation. I have yet to come across from a post by you that didn't make me think "yeah, if things went different, he could have turned out like this"

I feel pretty honoured I feel like I just won fandom and riko is shipped to me in the post . I would like to thank my parents for making me fucked up enough to get him.

There is few things that contribute to it all pretty much. And I will use this as excuse to talk about them all its 7 am and I slept 4 hours let's goooo

I actually see riko as very pathetic and non threat myself and I'm pretty sure Neil and most foxes do as well because even on my first reading of the books something stuck out to me pręty severly

Characters who actually killed people in those books

Andrew Aaron Renee Neil ? The foxes are pretty hands on with murder

Riko? Riki never actually got his hands dirty it does separate him already in cannon as all bark no bite whose only way to be intimidating is to use family name and people who follow him menawhile Riko himself is scary only to Kevin.

Riko's buildup in narrative as threat is very good but I really wouldn't confuse it as fear of him himself.

Riko's roast perfectly sums it up

Riko is pathetic used and delusional

I'm sorry if this is spitting onto what you said I am happy you like my things but I truly believe that riko is pathetic and I say this fully loving his character and issues his character puts light on.

He is scary only if you give him power as abuser (wchih is what this fandom does a lot in their need to have black and white villian ) but as a person he is pathetic.

But seeing riko as pathetic is seen by people as " he is poor and sad and I don't want to feel this way about him BC he is bad person "

He is not pathetic little kitty

He is pathetic eaten by anger and frustrations and unable to cry from all the pain he is in I can see how killing him could be seen as mercy actually.

Another thing I think people don't get right

Is that riko is not 100% delusional about his value

He has skills and he knows he is worth something he is fighting to have his father acknowledge it not because he does not feel worthy but because he knows he has a lot to offer and wants a chance to show it

He does not feel worthles he is just frustrated that others see him as such

Also growing pains are important thing to show

I think saddest and my favourite thing about riko is that the better person you let him be the more unhappy he will be.being good person won't erase things he did in the past and hurt he caused and the further you go the heavier it will be on his conscience and this is balance in act and I have way too many versions of the story where I let him snap

So yeah riko is pathetic clown and he is scary only when you don't understand this I'm sorry to blow his cover like that !

Maybe my reading of character is different in the end we all base things we create on things we know and while I never did such horrible things I know how it feels to grow into being a better person than I used to be and I know how it feels to still not believe you did got better even when I have friends to prove. There is a lot of comfort in seeing someone so horrible get nice things not because I did those horrible things but because I know how it feels to not deserve anything nice and hate myself enough to self sabotage.

I could go on also to talk about difference between gloryfying physical abuse in fandom and ignoring psychological abuse but maybe that's a talk for another time.

[knickknacksandallthat]

sorry to bother but do you have a plan of when part 4 will come out

ofc it’s perfectly fine if you’re not ready, from the looks of it this is a really big project

Hi anon!!

Oh my goodness, no it's no bother at all! Honestly, I would much rather be talking about fic writing than doing boring things like making a living (which consumed MY LIFE last week).

Ha! And you said it - this fic series has definitely been all-consuming. But I really love this particular AU, so let me tell you I've been working on it non-stop whenever I have time and have the following figured out so far:

My outline currently has the next fic at 12 chapters, though I have a sneaky suspicion that it'll become longer.

I have 53K written so far (but that's before editing😅).

It will have alternating POVs between Jean and Jeremy.

I wish I could give you a better sense of timing, but honestly it all comes down to my work schedule and what free time I have. At this point, I feel like I'm aiming toward April - but don't quote me.

And because I haven't posted something about Once in a Blue Moon on here for a while, here's a new snippet to chew over while I keep hustling as a thank you for your patience! 🥹

OIAB scene under the cut:

The LA airport is hot and muggy. It makes sweat bead down Jean’s neck and uncomfortably gather beneath his collar. Though he wears the lightest long-sleeve shirt he owns, the material still feels constricted and stifling, sticking to his skin. He has the insane urge to tear the garment off him and walk around bare-chested just to feel some relief.  Of course, he would never do so. In fact, the mere thought of it makes him pull his sleeves down farther, covering the backs of scar-ridden hands.  At least his head is cool.  He runs a hand over his buzzed scalp once more, the fuzzy feel of it still odd to him. Abby had suggested it so they could see his stitches better. And since so much of his hair had been pulled out anyway, it seemed to make sense.  Still, he hates how foreign the feeling is. He’s a stranger in his own skin. Has been, for some time he thinks.  He glances up anxiously at the clock on the wall, his knee bouncing as he waits. His flight landed ten minutes ago, and he thought his captain would be waiting here to greet him.  Apparently, he thought wrong.  Laughter erupts from behind him, and Jean jumps. He immediately spins around, only to find a family standing nearby, laughing at the antics of their two-year-old. He watches them for a moment before slowly turning back, clasping his hands in front of him and clutching them tight. Anxiety slowly begins to creep under his skin. Had he gotten the day wrong? Or the time? Did something happen between Palmetto and here that caused a delay? Should he call someone to ask?  He opens his phone and looks through the few contacts on his list.  Abby Winfield David Wymack Jeremy Knox Kevin Day Renee Walker Jean scowls.  His preference would likely be Abby or Renee, though he thinks the latter would have no information useful for this. Wymack, he would tolerate. He skims over the fourth name on the list because he’s never thinking of that fucker again in his entire life, if he can help it. Then he stares at the fifth name, the contact information for him uploaded without his knowledge into this new phone Abby got him. Jeremy Knox.  Starting Trojans Striker. #11. Played 52 games last season, scored 41 goals, and had 36 assists. Captain of the USC Trojans for three years straight. Fifth-best striker in the NCAA.  (Fourth, now that Riko is gone.)  Weaknesses: favors left side for goals, left knee injury in his sophomore year of high school, and overly attached to wellbeing of teammates. Jean scowls again.  If Knox is anything like the person who recommended him, he’s bound to be both a waste of Jean’s time and breath. After all, he can certainly strike punctual off the list.

Thanks again for the ask, anon!

[deeppenguinstudent]

I have no jeandrew prompts however I would love to hear your thoughts because I fear I'm being converted and it's wonderful

Oh my god I've been blessed, I absolutely love ranting about them so much!!

Their dynamics just make so much sense (kinda?) to me. Obviously it'll never happen in canon but scenes and scenarios just plague my mind sometimes.

Post-canon/Pro exy au:

This is the AU I think about the most honestly. Can you just imagine them on the same professional exy team as literally the best defence line the ERC has ever seen? So obviously, they have to go on a lot of press duty since Jean is ex perfect court, and it is slipped that Andrew was offered a position.

They fucking hate the press, Andrew in particular since he can see the hidden innuendos within the questions that are sent Jean's way. So he responds to them with a curt response before asking the interviewer to move along to the next question. So then Andrew starts his shit. He's not sure of what happened to Jean in the Nest, so he proposes a game to keep each other in good grace without breaking out into a brawl every time they speak.

Since by some grace, Jeremy and Neil aren't in the picture (God knows how), they slowly start to attract each other. Andrew has a thing for making standoffish people break under him while Jean gravitates towards him because he enjoys Andrew's decisiveness and steadfast wit. Andrew also especially remembers the small things about Jean. He blames it on his eidetic memory when, in actuality, he patiently listens and retains every small thing that Jean speaks about. Jean falls in love, of course, because no one had cared enough to know anything about him.

Raven Andrew AU:

What if Andrew said yes? Obviously, he knows of Riko's wrath, but he realises Jean's presence as the wimp beside number 1. Riko has the entire perfect court with him (minus Neil, he's still finding a substitute), so naturally, Andrew's and Jean are temporary partners. None of the Ravens disturb Andrew particularly because of his rumours of being put to juvy because of killing a man (it's not true of course, but Andrew entices the rumours mainly because he just thinks yeah I like none of these fuckers better they leave me alone). Jean, on the other hand, had the biggest mouth behind Riko.

Andrew hears of the rumours of Jean being a whore. So he puts it to the test, he slowly indulges in Jean's presence talking to him the post to jibe back at him. Also Andrew completely defies Riko by speaking German behind his back and Jean is privately praying Andrew would stop because he gets the most shit. They have to shower together, do everything together so they get closer obviously.

They learn of their shared love for literature and mainly converse like characters in popular literary books and compare Riko to the facetious and most annoying characters in front of him. Since riko cares for no literature, he thinks they are complimenting him. I feel like Jean would absolutely fall first but he doesn't want a repeat of Kevin to happen so he lets his feelings silently subdue.

Honestly, I feel like the confession would be something along the lines of Andrew claiming he's jealous of Kevin or something. And Jean is like yeah, he's a pretty awesome striker but Andrew scrunches up his nose, looks at Jean and just utters his confession much like he did to Neil and gives him the option to decline but Jean just blurts out You don't want to be with me over and over again and Andrew feels something unsettling occur in the Nest.

So then he starts to actually pay attention the Ravens beside Jean and he gets wind of the rumour of Jean and him sleeping together. He wanted to let bygones be bygones but he heard the Raven utter out something jarring about raping Jean to Jean's face that makes him tense and he just snaps. He takes his goal keeper racket and stalks over to the backliner and hits him across his stomach.

He gets heavily whipped by the master but he doesn't care he just goes to the shared room of his and Jean and demands an answer. It's when Jean finally breaks down and tells him that Andrew decides he's had enough of this stupid nest, riko and Moriyamas.

Jean also stays with Andrew very tightly since of course none of the Ravens try shit with him around.

Foxes Jean AU: (abit NSFW?)

Okay so this was my first draft of the Foxes Jean AU before I decided to change it to Kevjean😭 but I may indulge in this with snippets or maybe a one chapter one-shot.

Basically, after Wymack rescues Jean from the Ravens, Andrew doesn't trust him at all. So obviously, he invites Jean over to Eden's Garden. Jean levels him with a look before saying no and walking off. The cousins are shocked at this because no one other than Dan had the balls to talk to Andrew like that.

Andrew's interested in Jean because he is hot, tall, French, and such a travesty that Andrew yearns to unfold and break. Jean on the other hand wants nothing to do with Kevin and thus avoids Andrew because those two are joined at the hip. So comes Renee that invited both Andrew and Jean to hang out, she doesn't come obviously and she leaves Jean and Andrew to their own devices to talk it out as Wymack had requested.

They do talk it out but instead Andrew asked if Jean has ever fought before to which Jean says you want me to spar with you? You're like half my height, I could win with no experience. Andrew just smiles creepily and they start to train, Andrew's criteria was that if he wins Jean has to answer one singular question and that if he loses, Andrew would leave Kevin in Jean's hands and he was free to take Kevin wherever after.

Jean agreed because he thought he could win but as he felt Andrew on top of him, knife in his hand pinning Jean's arms over his head with a knife and his other hand pushing Jean against the floor. So then Andrew goes close to Jean, his lips almost touching, but he waits. He doesn't move forward, and then he asks, "Yes or No."

Jean's breath hitches before he cranes his neck to kiss lightly. They pull back before Andrew kisses Jean bruisingly into the dead of the night.

This is how they cope with each other. No one knows, of course, except Renee because she's all seeing. But anyways, they're basically having little trysts when the rest of the Foxes are busy.

I'm not going to get into the jeaneil aspect of this (this fic was originally jeandreil), but long story short, Jean realises he's catching feelings for Andrew, obviously but he knows that Andrew doesn't do love at all. So he moves away from Andrew, he gravitates towards Neil and finds him growing more attached to the runaway, and this scares him because what if the Ravens were right? A man shows him a minimal amount of attention, and he grovels at their feet? So what if he is actually a whore?

He doesn't think more because Neil finds out about Jean and Andrew one day. Jean says there's nothing, but Neil can see it in Andrew's eyes because he can read Andrew very well. Normal Andreil take place, but they both secretly yearn for Jean, too.

I think long story short basically they three end up together 😭😭

I'm so lazy for typing out every idea I have but if I have anything else I'll share it with you♡♡

[evelhak]

Reply to @myndless88 who filled this ask, being so wise to know that I wanted to see the KnB version even though I asked for Sailor Moon, because I was getting self-conscious about never asking about anything but KnB! Thank you so much. Here’s my version. <3

My OTP: KagaKuro (duh)

My NOTP: You know what, kinda same: Any other ship involving Kuroko, but also Kagami, and it’s not that I can’t see any potential in other ships, it’s just that I want KagaKuro to be forever. And I guess the Kuroko ships bother me a bit more too, because it’s Kuroko who always gets the harem treatment and there’s just something about it that I dislike. I don’t like the idea that everyone is into Kuroko over anyone else. I guess Momoi, Nash and Hanamiya make my blood boil the most, though.

MY OT3: I don’t think I have one... I have plans to explore polyamory in my fics but that might be happening between characters who all just happen to be my OCs. :’D So, that doesn’t count.

A currently canon ship I’m okay with but don’t prefer: It’s true practically no ship is canon, except Riko and Kiyoshi being exes... or like Tsuchida and his nameless girlfriend. But I do consider Riko x Hyuuga (is there a ship name for that, I’ve never seen one?) and AoMomo being sort of canon because it has been so heavily implied. But they still don’t count for this, because they are my preferred ships. So, really can’t think of anything.

A ship that would only work in an AU but would be awesome: I also can’t think of anything, because my brain just doesn’t work in AUs... if something needs an AU to work, then to me it kind of doesn’t have a point. (My exception is dreamworld fics that contribute to my huge canonverse story. I’m not opposed to reading other people’s AUs though, I’m quite intrigued about yours!) But no, I can’t think of any ship that would be inherently interesting. Not that I couldn’t be convinced.

A ship I’d like to see explored but not stick around: Sometimes when I’m half-asleep, my brain is like... If KagaKuro broke up for a while in adulthood, I could see Kise and Kuroko having a one-night stand... but when I’m all there, I’m like, no, I’m not going to write that. (Everything that it would thematically bring to my story has been explored already, so I’m not going to repeat myself just so Kise can fulfil some teenage fantasy). So, that’s a bad answer, actually. Hmm, well, I kind of see AkaFuri as something that could happen (way in the future) but wouldn’t last. So that’s a better one.

A ship that may as well be canon:  Well, same as you, KagaKuro and MidoTaka. But also Riko x Hyuuga and AoMomo.

The ships I’d give my OTP pair if the other died: I really don’t want to think about this, but if I’m honest, yeah, if both Aomine and Kuroko ended up alone, I feel like they might end up together. Interestingly enough, I feel like the same could happen with Momoi and Kagami. I know that’s a rare pair for sure, but I’ve discovered the potential of their friendship in my fics. Under no other circumstances could I see either of these ships happening, but in these particular cases I think it would eventually happen, because in my headcanon these four keep becoming closer friends as they get older, so the pull of the person who understands your loss would probably be irresistible in the end... dear lord, I don’t want to think about this further.

A crossover ship I’d dig: This is too much for me.

A ship that would work great in a Coffee Shop AU: I don’t think I can do better than your AkaFuri idea. I'm embarrassingly ignorant of popular fanfiction tropes, to be honest.

A ship that would work great in a sitcom AU: I know this doesn’t say much, but I’ve been kind of shipping Yagi with an OC lately, I’m not sure yet, but I do think they would be funny enough together for this.

I'm happy to do this for another fandom too if anyone wants to know.

[augustmourn]

forgive me if you've already covered any of these but:

8, 26, 30, 37 for the fic asks!

8. What song would make a great fic (to either write or read)?

Predictably: The Dismemberment Song

26. Would you rather write a fic that had no dialogue or one that was only dialogue?

I think I've written no dialogue before -- I wouldn't have thought of it, but I was going through a few pages of my fic and remembered a sleep as cold as death (Reylo triple drabble) which has no dialogue. But I think as a challenge (for a fic longer than 300 words) I would be interested in dialogue-only -- I don't always feel super confident with my character voices, so it would take some work.

30. Have you ever written something that was out of your comfort zone? If so, what was it, and how did it affect your approach to writing fic thereafter?

Well... the first explicit fic I ever wrote was about the Onceler. From the Lorax.

I wish I were joking.

But it unlocked something in my brain, and I'm very glad it did, because I discovered I absolutely love writing porn and in the past almost three years I think I've gotten pretty good at it.

37. Promote one of your own “deep cut” fics (an underrated one, or one that never got as much traction as you think it deserves!). What do you like about it?

Already answered! But I'll add another one, because why not: the nest, All for the Game, Neil/Riko F/F AU. It's literally just a sequence of noncon scenes with a dozen or so different kinks, so I understand why it's not popular, but noncon is my comfort zone and I had an absolute blast with the amount and variety of kinks I managed to jam in there. Fic is always better when you're having a great time writing it.

writing questions!

[seoafin]

Morgannnn (it me again, surprise??)

I feel like the first time i sent that long ass rant message i didn't really fully express why i'm so in love with your stories and your writing so i'm gonna do it here and also share some other thoughts along the way! <3

First of all, the way you write feels so smooth and in place that i actually have a feeling i'm reading the canon material its self (it is canon idc) and also how you portray Gojo? the way he's in love with the reader, him being absolutely whipped for his children, him as a whole person? it feels so in character to me that it doesn't have anything off putting like you would enouncter in most Gojo fics. I suck at giving a thourough explanation but i will do my best: firstly, rip to my youth was an absolute gem to read and the way you've written everything, everyone, the way you've portrayed and written Riko healed my soul because i love her so much, she's my precious child that deserved the world. the semingly bad mouthed gojo behaviour, the way he's been a menace in hs and also the same time how reader seems to always ground him?? "it's my fault for thinking you could do better" (was that the line? i hope i got it right oof) please the way she can always bring him back on the ground and make him feel human, it's loveee, love LOVE that makes this man human and you have done such an amazing job showing that via his interactions with Geto and reader, even Shoko subtly! Also how you talked about friends also being platonic lovers and vice versa, im so ALL for that! i love how you portrayed that through them, the cuddling, hugs, gojo simply existing in her space because she got used to it and at this point pretty much allows it, and honestly for someone as weary and distrustful as Gojo, it would honestly take alot for someone to enter his shell like that and he allows himself to be vulnerable. I like how you write him as a guy that has no game and gets zero girls lmao because its true its canon, i like to think that he's more interested and drawn towards reader's attention and its her that he really wants but she's just so goddamn oblivious!!

Absolutely loved how you written them with Megumi and Tsumiki, Megumi being mama's boy, it's canon too i love to see it, Gojo being so touchy and clingy with reader is a big yes for me. So in conclusion, i also love you for leaving cultural notes and you're actually willing to stand up to fandom discourse and racism thats plagued within it, i wish people understood or tried to take japanese culture into account when writing Gojo or any other character, it really shows the nuance and its something thats being dismissed even in english translations, it just ain't there. But you, you've done it everytime and it makes me fall in love with your work all over again, i just think it's very neat and you as a person here and the way you interact with your followers is very pleasing, at least those that are nice and considerate towards you, i simply love your energy. You're like a better version of Gege Akutami lmao 😭

With that said, i love how we agree that Gojo is a touch starved bisexual virgin loser that cries himself to sleep, i also agree with previous anons that said Gojo doesn't fuck around at all, because i myself just don't see it as Satoru way of coping let alone being the one to use humans that way, it simply contradicts everything else he is as a person and despite being an asshole and sucking most of the time, i'll say it again, it's love that makes him human. Idk how reader and Gojo started dating (family au) or rip verse but i like to think that as the previous anons said, they were it for each other, and Gojo being a cheeky lil shit that he is didn't say a word at first but was glad nonetheless, brings me back to when you talked about friends being platonic lovers and such, so i do think they'd be messing around w each other like that for a bit before anything serious actually started happening, until reader stopped being so oblivious 😭 also the way he proposed lmao i loved that its so Gojo thing to do, but yeah, Gojo dad is also superb, the way his kids treat him is hilarious but they do love him nonetheless, ahhhh im practically rambling at this point but i LOVE LOVE everything!! the day i found your blog was the day my soul was cured, so thanks for simply existing? Anyways, im very awkward when trying to write my thoughts thouroughly so please forgive me for that and i hope you'll continue to slay and stay amazing! 🥰

ms tina i read this message over literally 50 times in the span of one hour and stared at it on the subway so i could straight up memorize it. like this message is going to go on my gravestone it's going to BE my gravestone. im going to expose myself as a ff writer in real life but i do NOT care i want this to be the last thing i see before i kick the bucket

yes ur right!!! rip!mc did say smt along those lines (i don't rlly rmb either lmfao) in hs i think rip!mc is one of the first people along with geto who is unafraid to tell him what she thinks but it isn't in a malicious way which is what gets gojo even more annoyed bc she isn't necessarily out to antagonize him even though he antagonizes her 😭 (it was full on menace behavior from him in hs)

SO TRUE IT'S ALL ABOUT LOVE. are they friends?? are they lovers?? who knows! who cares! they Are in love though! i do not like how friends and lovers are categorized as two different things. all friends are and should be lovers in some capacity.....that's friendship that’s love baybe. the concept that maybe we should be a little in love with our friends is so true. so good. i abide that in every (healthy) thing i write bc friendship is the basis of love!!!

i love writing hs gojo bc he IS lame he’s a loser with exactly one friend. he wants to tell rip!mc that he likes her outfit and ends up telling her the color clashes with her skin tone. hs gojo is immature and bratty and it’s the last time he gets to be. i rlly like writing rip!mc in the perspective of still seeing gojo like that even as adults. even when he’s smoother and little more charming and smiles more easily and makes a fool out of himself on purpose she’s still seeing the bratty tongue tied gojo he was in hs so yes they ground each other

im happy ppl read those cultural notes!!!!! and im even happier that ppl still like this blog despite the discourse i drag into it bc smts i just see something and it ITCHES when i can’t say anything like god we should be calling this out.....i am too messy sometimes but im afraid it’s the only way i can make this fandom and writing somewhat tolerable not only for me hopefully anyone else that has ever been aggrieved by popular fandom 😭😭😭

im going to sound very sappy but thank U for reading and sending me this wonderful lovely amazing message that i am mentally printing out and digesting i love it so much. like i don’t think i can thank u enough for giving me kindness and encouragement i am so insane rn with emotion. i am so so so so happy u like my writing enough to send me this big ass message about it and it’s getting messages like this that make writing worth it...anyway i am Emotional

[sucker-for-minyard]

I can't escape from Butcher!Neil/Nathaniel so I'll write random stuff about him

First of all Nathaniel Wesninski is a very sexy sensual gorgeous name oh god i love saying it in my mind

Imagine Butcher!Nathaniel playing for the Ravens like it was planned. He'd look so pretty in the black and red uniform.... With his ginger hair and the tiny tattoo under his blue eyes......please.......

OK OK

How would he interact with the Foxes???

In a scenario where he does get to play for the Foxes, his relationship with them would be a lot different. Nathaniel is colder, quieter and not as lively as he is in Canon. That would change his dynamics with them significantly.

The team, initially, would probably see him as another Monster, or even worse. I doubt Andrew would say anything about his past and his father but the team would know. There's something off about Neil. They can feel it deep down and they're scared of it. For some time, at least.

Renee, as the brave queen she is, would trust Andrew with all her heart and try to trust Neil too, after observing him from afar.

Imagine if Nathaniel was as impulsive (violently) as Andrew was in the beginning. He won't hesitate before grabbing a knife from his pocket and that's not a good thing, especially coming from him.

>>I think that if Andrew had to put himself in a role where he has to be the one controlling his impulses to be able to control Neil and his outbursts it would be really interesting<<

And Neil isn't really like "oh I'm going to kill you because I like killing people". He just can't help but react to minor threats with extreme violence. That's the way he was raised. that's what he was taught by his Father.

Really daydreaming here about impulsive and violent Butcher!Nathaniel

Beside his violent outbursts, Nathaniel is extremely reserved and doesn't really react to things in the very expressive way. He won't show his emotions openly.

I know I'm being edgy please let me be happy and cringey

Andrew would be a lot more cautious about Nathaniel, specially if Aaron is near. He doesn't trust Nathaniel's self control and he shows it.

Matt would have a harder time to bond with the man now. But i believe that his sweet and genuinely caring nature would touch Nathaniel (eventually). He'd have a harder time adjusting to the healthy way people were treating him, but he'll be fine.

OK BUT what about his name 😔

(im asking myself this is a Q&A with myself)

WELL. Nathaniel came from the Ravens. He is already somewhat known, especially being Riko's number 3.

Differently from Kevin, Nathaniel can't just switch teams and hope for the best. And in this AU, changing his name also won't do him any good. People already know him.

He'd still be Nathaniel after joining the Foxes

But.

He would be Abram with Andrew.

Andrew was the one who asked about his middle name. The blonde felt the name 'Nathaniel' too heavy in his tongue everytime he said it. It was a name drenched in blood and suffering. If Andrew can make Nathaniel feel at least a little bit better and ease some of the weight everything in his life has, he'll do it.

And that would be enough for Nathaniel. He won't change his first name, because being Abram to someone he loves is more than he ever could ask for.

Nothing in here makes any sense AT ALL and I'm not happy about it. I just wanted to write about my dear baby Nathaniel :( ily butcher!neil ily

[aymmidumps]

hhhh ATLA au?? (don't feel pressured to answer right away I'm sure you're sick of ATLA asks) but whaddya think the timeline of the Andreil relationship is? Like when in their relationship would Neil ask about earthbending 👀

its fine!!! i’m glad ppl are still interested in the au :’)

as for your question... hmm. i think it would be months in. This au is based off the ATLA universe, but it doesnt necessarily follow neither of the stories (the atla and the tfc one) there is a mixture of everything, and it has its own timeline! it would go a little bit like this (it got so long omfg sorry)

- Neil arrives with the excuse that it will be for a short time, Andrew immediately suspects of him, even More when he finds a wanted poster of him inside his bag (the classique “you went through my stuff?!” from the first book) Neil gives him half truths that don’t fully convince Andrew, and he decides to give some of his own. - Riko appears and challenges Neil letting everyone know he’s the avatar, and Andrew feels like killing Neil too. He stops Riko with earthbending before he gets to end Neil bc ofc he’s starting to like Neil by now. Just a little. They have a talk, more exchanges of the truth, but Neil still doesn’t tell him about his father looking for him. - Wymack starts helping Neil with airbending, then Dan and Matt with waterbending bc that’s the order. Andrew knows Neil will need an earthbending teacher soon but he’s not offering, and Neil doesn’t want Andrew to teach him either. Or rather, he knows Andrew will say no, and Kevin repeatedly affirms Andrew doesn’t care about anything, so he gives up before even asking.- Riko is back at it again, he stages a whole situation that has to do with Nicky’s parents sending him a letter from the North Pole. The letter is real, but Riko has other plans for them down the road. He pretends to make them leave their hiding,and that’s what he gets. Some of his men ambush them and take Andrew with them (kind of like with Toph when she gets captured) and it happens so fast none of them can react at time. Neil and Kevin are the only benders, but Kevin seems unable to attack men of his own background (they’re Firenation) so there isn’t much Neil can do, even mastering two more elements already, and fire is still out of the question. (angst! angst! angst!)- Now with Andrew out of the way Riko feels like can do what he wants. Neil and Kevin know this, so Neil decides they should split up, Kevin should stay with the rest for protection, and he would be the one getting Andrew out of the Firenation prison. Kevin tells him his plan sucks ass (not with that wording) but Neil is too far gone to care if he gets killed. Kevin reluctantly gives Neil some useful information to get him and Andrew out of there.-  This is when Andrew teaches himself metalbending. Riko searched his background and knew he didn’t bend metal, honestly it was considered Impossible to bend even for most Earthbenders. Riko thought it wouldn’t be a problem, but Andrew knew better. Bending the thick metal bars of his cell was easier than he expected, but breaking out of the prison wasn’t. - Neil arrives as a prisoner. (yes, he just turns himself in) just at the moment where hell breaks loose and Andrew starts fighting like 20 firebenders on his own, so he joins him. Andrew is genuinely surprised to see him but also genuinely Pissed ((“I told you to stay back and let me handle it” “if it means losing you, then no”)) Neil remembers what Kevin told him: “If Riko is there, his airship must be there too, that’s your only way out” so they both get out of there like that, they fuckin steal Riko’s airship. Obviously not without fighting Riko first and winning! For Now. - So ofc after that stupid act of bravery Andrew starts seeing Neil way more differently. His attraction to him is off the walls and he can’t bear losing him. After some stalling, Neil finally asks, or rather he just says “I came here so you could teach me everything I need to know about earthbending” half expecting a No, but Andrew says yes (in his own way) surprising Neil, and Neil’s lessons on earthbending finally begin. and they’re the Toughest ones...Andrew does not go that easy on him. 

and well there’s more to it but i’m still figuring it all out! again, im sorry this got so long mdmkdkdkkdjkd im using this as a way of putting my ideas down so i don’t forget...

[aftgficlibrary]

I need anything with Andrew centric pLEASE I already asked all the things I dreamt to read but no one ever writes about nothing more than neil centric and I'm just tired of read the same things over and over again

We do have a somewhat robust Andrew POV tag, but I’ll add some here-Atlas

light fires at night (to push back the void) by inthesea (M | 61,862 | 3/3)

The first time Andrew realizes he wants to hear the words, Neil isn’t even doinganything. He’s just sitting there, staring at the horizon with that stupidly dramatic faraway expression of his, and letting the cigarette burn down between his fingers all the way to the filter — an outrageous waste of good nicotine, if you asked Andrew.

(Or: 20+ times Andrew and Neil say I love you, and one time they say it out loud.)

Better Than a Grave or a Hearse by iaquilam (Not Rated | 41,794 | 6/6)

“What do you think of the Ravens’ new player?”“He is nothing to me,” Andrew says, staring up at the ceiling, and then amends, “he can’t keep his mouth shut.”Renee hums in agreement. “He doesn’t seem bad for a Raven.”“Guns don’t seem bad until you shoot them.”“Do you think he’s going to end up shooting someone?”“I think that anyone who can’t keep their mouth shut is a liability and a danger.”Or, Riko is hellbent on bringing Kevin back to the Nest, Andrew is hellbent on stopping him, and Neil Josten is hellbent on making problems for everyone involved.

/Violence

a world alone by ephemeralsky (T | 54,850 | 6/6)

“It will not be cheap,” Andrew finally says.

“I know,” Wymack says. “Two bottles of Johnnie Walker sound good to you?”

“Four,” Andrew says without missing a beat. He thinks about having to deal with Nicky later on, about the additional work he has to do, and decides that he will not do anything for less.

“Three,” Wymack argues.

“Four or we have no deal.”

Wymack mutters something about blood-sucking hooligans under his breath before he concedes with a, “Fine.”

(or: a High School AU where only some of them are high-schoolers)

Where Everything is Good by iaquilam (Not Rated | 10,804 | 1/1)

“Shut up,” Andrew says, and lets the door slam shut behind him. It’s satisfying in a petty sort of way, but he’s never claimed to take the higher road. “I do not care if you are recording.” “Your friend is charming,” a voice says drily from the corner, and Andrew pulls up short. Two things: he was not expecting Neil Josten to be here already. And he was not expecting Neil Josten to have a voice the color of the sky at noon. Neil Josten is a singer with a dark past and smart mouth. Andrew Minyard is a music producer who has synesthesia and secrets of his own. Their paths cross the day Andrew realizes he has never seen a voice quite like Neil’s.

Every Choice Leads To You by SpangleBangle (G | 2,809 | 1/1)

Andrew knew they had to get up at some point, if only for the bathroom, but was loathe to hurry the moment along. He would take every greedy minute of Neil snug in his bed, for as long as he could. It was the choice he’d made years before, and the one he made every day when he saw Neil’s ‘good morning’ smile. He had a feeling it was a choice he’d be making for many years to come. And while that thought should be terrifying, with Neil sweet and content in his arms, fear was far away.