#if it helps. for context. i'm pretty certain i have npd and bpd

[clowngore]

hi fellow cluster b personality disorder havers. um. does it get better

[askaborderline]

i never thought i might have bpd until i found the borderlinereminders blog, and i realized that... almost everything fit into how i react to triggers, my mindsets, how i experience and process emotions... i think i even have an fp, my partner of almost 2 years, we got attatched to each other weirdly quickly and for a long time we barely spent any time apart, and we were happy with that... everything from splitting on someone and struggling to remember the good things that have happened with them to going to unhealthy and often downright harmful lengths to avoid someone leaving or rejecting me... i dont know. im glad that i followed that account. im still not entirely certain that i have bpd but so much is strikingly similar that i dont know if i can really deny it. i thought that i had npd before because i have a lot of symptoms of that too, but the symptoms almost line up better with this? idk. i dont look at the symptoms in the dsm and go "that sounds like me", like i do with the other disorders that i have or think i have, but i relate so much when those same symptoms are given in other contexts, like anecdotes or ways to cope with them... i know its not your place to diagnose me or anything, but can you have a disorder and relate to other people with that disorder, but not relate to the symptoms when theyre presented in that clinical phrasing that the dsm-5 has? if that makes sense

Hi anon,

It makes total sense and you absolutely can have BPD without relating to the DSM phrasing. In fact, let me share some little-known facts with you: the DSM is, frankly, written by a bunch of old neurotypical men who pretty much only ever make any changes to it when they're yelled at by enough doctors for five years. While I'm not saying it's completely useless, it's very outdated in some regards (for example, it's still an ongoing debate on whether or not BPD is "just PTSD", which is absurd). Especially when it comes to Cluster B disorders, the DSM is incredibly outdated and frankly kind of ableist - they're referred to as "dramatic personality disorders" and "borderline" is a relic from when they thought BPD came from being "borderline psychopathic". There's also tons of symptoms of BPD that are just straight-up not listed in the DSM, including (most grievously imo) FPs!

So, yeah, you can absolutely have the symptoms of BPD and not at all relate to what you're seeing in the DSM. It desperately needs an update. I've actually known several people with the same dilemma as you. I hope that helps!

Cheers, Jane