#if i was being totally realistic i'd write 90% of teenage boys as being characters from the inbetweeners lmao

[seriousbrat]

Seriousbrat, I’m back because I’m going through a rough time and your answers always pick me up. Wanna discuss matters of the heart?

- Which marauder fell in love easy with everyone and everything? (Or who developed the most crushes)

- Who fell the hardest? (When they have a crush, they’ll be bedridden for days)

- Who never fell in love? (This ice does not crush)

- Who was asked out the most?

- Who did the most asking out?

- Who turned down the most suitors?

- Who was the biggest flirt?

- Who flirted accidentally?

- Who couldn’t flirt to save their lives?

- Who broke the most hearts and who mastered the art of break-ups?

- Bonus if you can tell how each of their first kiss went!

Aww nooo, I'm really sorry to hear you're having a rough time! I'm always willing to answer more of these questions, here are some overly long answers for you ❤️

- Which marauder fell in love easy with everyone and everything? (Or who developed the most crushes) Obviously this is James, who is very much a romantic deep down, much as he might have tried to pretend otherwise. Peter would just have a general blanket crush on any and all girls but wouldn't be able to talk to them, whereas Sirius and Remus would be much more rational when it comes to matters of the heart. While Remus might have had a few crushes I think he wouldn't let them get out of hand because he felt they wouldn't go anywhere.

- Who fell the hardest? (When they have a crush, they’ll be bedridden for days) It's also James, again he's a romantic. Like bro is out there doodling hearts around the initials of a girl who hates him. Yikes.

- Who never fell in love? (This ice does not crush) I tend to believe that Sirius never fell in love, although I've written him as having feelings for James I don't think that's the same as falling in love (obv this is in terms of canon.) Peter also never fell in love imo, like how and when and with whom would he do that.

- Who was asked out the most? Sirius, obviously!

- Who did the most asking out? Probably James or Peter. Peter would generally be too cowardly although he might have asked a few girls out and I think he'd have a "cast a wide net" philosophy. James would be more specific but with a higher success rate overall. I don't think Sirius would ever ask anyone out, he wouldn't really have to and he's not bothered about relationships anyway, and personally I think Remus wouldn't date anyone for fear and insecurity around his condition.

- Who turned down the most suitors? Again, it's pretty obviously Sirius. I also don't think he'd be particularly nice about turning them down unfortunately. Then there's a WIDE breach between him and Remus or James, who maybe turned down a couple of girls but not many. Peter would literally never turn down any girl but alas, he wasn't given many chances.

- Who was the biggest flirt? Hmm, it's between Sirius and James for me. I think once Sirius figured out the power he wielded over women he would NOT be above leveraging this for, for example, free drinks at the Three Broomsticks from Rosmerta. He'd never really mean it, and I also don't think he was a HUGE flirt like he's written sometimes. James I think could be pretty flirty but with specific people.

- Who flirted accidentally? This is difficult! Honestly, probably James. At first I was going to say Sirius-- both are pretty naturally charming which can often be mistaken for flirting. But the thing is I think Sirius can just be colder or more aloof, as well as being very good at reading people so I don't think he'd really flirt accidentally. Now that I think about it Remus isn't a bad shout either, because I think more girls liked him at school than he realised-- specifically the shy, quiet girls who wouldn't go for a James or a Sirius, they'd probably try to talk to him and he'd be really nice but utterly clueless. I still think it's James in the end, because he and Lily did a lot of accidental flirting in their "we're just friends" phase.

- Who couldn’t flirt to save their lives? Peter, obviously. I don't think Remus was particularly good either but also he wouldn't really have tried so who knows. Whereas whenever Peter worked up the courage he'd probably be incredibly bad.

- Who broke the most hearts and who mastered the art of break-ups? The thing is I don't really see any of them as having had many breakups. One or two, maybe three MAX. I never write them as having had THAT many relationships in general, I don't think it's actually that common for an average teenager to have had multiple emotionally intense, serious relationships at that age. While obviously teens do date and hook up, they typically don't approach relationships in the same way adults do like everything is just less mature and more awkward lmao

There might have been a few random encounters that just fizzled out naturally or Sirius rejecting people lmao but those don't really count as breakups imo. So while I don't think James mastered the art of breakups because at most I think he'd have had two before marrying Lily, he probably had the most experience with breakups. But again, only two breakups max lol.

As for who broke the most hearts-- you could say Sirius "broke hearts" in that he ignored or could be mean to girls who really liked him, and hurt their feelings in the process. But James is the one I can see actually hurting a girl who had a real emotional attachment to him. I think when he was younger he definitely had the potential to be sweet, but would in many ways also have been the typical asshole, inattentive teenage boy who cared more about quidditch and his mates and looking cool than his first girlfriend. Then he might have ended up dumping the poor girl for being "too clingy" or whatever. :(

- Bonus if you can tell how each of their first kiss went! For Sirius, Peter, and Remus, I think they'd all have had their first kiss during a Gryffindor party. Sirius first, obviously, perhaps years before anyone else. Peter and Remus might have been during a spin the bottle-type situation tbh.

My answer for James is different, I always imagine it would have been over the summer holidays with the daughter of family friends (in my fic this is Dorcas.) Maybe the first time just a little kid thing and then again properly when they were older. I think James's first kiss would have been rather more romantic than the rest of them, which kind of sets the tone for him being the most romantic of the four.