#if i left hours ago i could've been drinking hot chocolate with blankets but no

[calamitoustide]

should've just skipped my last class and went home

[nctworststuff]

Pairing- Boyfriend!Renjun x nospecific!reader

Warning-Death,Cancer

Genre: Angst

a/n: Here what you guys got after a months I’m not post anything. Also Thank you my friend,Lucy because helping me a lot :). Hope you guys like it

He always with you

He avoided meeting with you lately. You missed to spend time with him so much. You missed his scent, his hugs, his kisses, his presence, but most importantly, you missed him.

You recently spent a lot of time in your apartment, all by yourself. Watching movies, drinking hot chocolate and staying under your fluffy blanket. Sometimes you went to hangout with your friends, but not as often as you used to. However, today you couldn't take it anymore. I have to visit him, now!

Deep inside you knew that he would never cheat on you. What if something bad had happen to him? Maybe he got sick or maybe something in his family came up? You didn't know. Helplessly you scrolled through your media social. Usually, he would be active on Instagram. Always adding things to his story or at least posting the pictures he made. But ever since 3 weeks ago, you haven't seen him post a single thing. As if he vanished.

You took a look at your photo gallery on your phone. It's filled with pictures of you and Renjun. Everytime the two of you had met in the past months, you had taken at least one picture. Are you okay, renjun?

You didn't want to waste your time anymore, so you walked into your bedroom to change your outfit. You arrived at his house that felt like a second home to you. Big dark clouds covered the sky and sun. It may rain soon. You slowly walked to the door and opened it with the spare key Renjun gave you not so long ago.

You couldn't see him when you entered. Maybe he is in his bedroom? You steped further into his apartment. It was a big mess. You tried to comprehend what could've happened here. The TV was on, adding some noise to the otherwise quiet space. Some old snacks that have neither been fully eaten nor thrown away, covered the floor. It surely wasn't healthy for him to life in all this trash.

You finally went upstairs and pressed the door handle down slowly after knocking and getting no reply. Who knows, maybe he's sleeping? However  you suddenly heard a faint crying sound instead of the silence. What's happening to him? Thousands of thoughts were running in your head, creating one scenario worse than the other. "Renjun?" You softly called out his name and fully opened the door. He turned his head and body to look at you, surprised by your arrival. His eyes were more red than white and his face looked as white as freshly fallen snow did.

"Y/n? W-what are you doing here?" He looked at you with what you could only assume was an angered expression. You slowly approached him and sat down on his mattress beside him. You hesitantly leaned your head on his shoulder and put your hand on his thigh, joining his own one. Oh, how often you had fiddled with his slender fingers before. They were just as beautiful as the art they created, but now they were just dried skin and bone. You were convinced, something bad happen to him!

"And why are you crying?", you asked him in return, probably a bit too late, but not that it matered anyways. He kept quiet for about a minute, before taking a deep breath and forcing those awful words out of his mouth. "I have a disease! I-I have cancer..." He closed his eyes tightly to hold himself back from sobbing. The fear that lived within him ever since the doctor told him he was going to die earlier than expected, suddenly skyrocket in your presence.

Shutting you out in the hope of making you forget him, had been so much easier than seeing your heart break right in front of him. You didn't deserve the pain he caused you, so why...? Why are you still here y/n? Why couldn't you stay away from me? "So that's the reason why you pushed me away? The reason you avoided me? Why didn't you tell me? Renjun? Explain it to me. Please explain everything." you looked at his eyes that beared so many emotions, while he bit his chapped lips.

"I-I don't know. I... I was just so, so scared. Actually, I-I knew I had cancer... It... They told me a year ago."

His confession was interrupted by a hiccup. He started crying again and put his hand on his face. You've been together for 3 years and he kept this a secret for all the time, telling you just now? "I-I'm only going to live for one more week. My doctor said there is no other way for me." Why? Why did he need to leave like this? Couldn't he be healthy and grow old with me? Searching in your confused and helpless mind you looked for a solution.

"Hey, i-it's okay. Its not your fault! I-I could spend all my money for your surge-", but he cut you off with a harsh movement by his hand. "You heard what I said. There's no chance, y/n!" Now your eyes were filling with tears, blurring your sight. This can't be true! "You said you would never leave me. You- You promised." The tears poured out of their home, painting a wet line down your cheeks until they dropped down your chin, falling. You too, felt like falling. You were so angry, but not at him, no, he didn't wanted this either. You were angry at the situation. At the fact that you couldn't do Anything.

Watching your little emotional breakdown, Renjun stayed quiet. After he had avoided meeting you for so long, seeing you come back to him, crying with him, still caring for him, there was only one thing he wanted. "Y/n? Can I ask for one last thing, before death is taking me?" He moved his hand to your shoulder, pressing it softly. "Anything for you, Renjun!" You desperately looked into his eyes, meeting his softened expression. "I just want to spend my last week with you. Please. One last time?"

Day 2

Standing in the kitchen for about half an hour, you had made a healthy breakfast for the two of you, since he loved your cooking. You poured some hot porridge into his favourite bowl and placed it on the tray. Walking slowly to not drop anything you brought the food to his bedroom. He was still asleep, looking utterly peaceful.

While you put the tray on a near small table, you called his name softly, to wake him up. Upon hearing his name, his eyelids fluttered open. Still a bit sleepy, he rubbed his eyes and gave you a questioning look. "I made some porridge for you. Should I... feed you?" You smiled at him shyly. He could just nod his head, feeling exhausted even after taking such a long nap.

You sat down beside him and took the spoon to feed him. He followed your every move as you put the still warm porridge in his mouth. A big smile suddenly stretched across his cheeks. "I knew your cooking would never disappoint me!", he complimented, making you giggle. Yet, you couldn't ignore the sad feeling in your chest, knowing you had to accept the fact that he was going to die soon. Only five days would be left after today.

Of course Renjun noticed the way your expression changed. “I dont like to see you sad. Please smile for me” He grabbed your other hand too, making you smile. The smile only he got to see. You don't even know if the sweet smile you were currently wearing on your face would show up for another guy, but for now it seems like it is just for Renjun, who finally noticed the bracelet on your wrist.

"You still wear that bracelet?” His eyes fixated on your wrist. You just watched him with sparkling eyes, while thinking back to how you got that gift.  “Of course! It looks so pretty and it bears a lot of memories for me!” He smiled at you with just the same sparkles glowing in his eyes, making your heart beat unbelievable fast in your chest. You didn't knew why, but the comforting feeling of love, the love created between the two of you, filled your now shared room. Softly touching your own cheeks you felt how they heated up.

“It's- wait... I gave you the bracelet 5 years ago, when it was your birthday? A-and we still didn't turn into lovers that day, did we?”, his eyes widened. You simply nodded and started chuckling, him joining not much later. Of course you could still remember the day he gave you the precious bracelet. He was being so shy back then, when he planned to give it to you. Haechan, Mark and all the other dreamies kept hyping him up, after he gave it to you.

“You know what? I really can't believe our relationship will just end soon. I really thought we would last longer. I'm sorry!” He smiled at you again, but this time it was a sad smile. You sighed, closing your eyes in agony. “It's not your fault, it never was, Renjun! After all, these moments are the most precious ones that we have. Trust me, I will love and remember you until I take my last breath!” I'll really do! Besides bringing it up first, you hated talking about his disease so much.

Not because you blamed it on him. Not because you couldn't believe, he was going to die soon, no. You hated talking about it because you feared being left behind. You hated the fact that you'll eventually forget about him. That you'll forget how he smelled, how his hands felt, how his hugs felt. And the worst thing was, that you'll forget how it felt to be loved by him. When did all your laughter turn into cries?

Day 4

"Look! It's your favourite flower!” Renjun points his finger to a small bunch of flowers in the middle of the park. You loved going to this park with him before and today wasn't any different. Softly swining your linked hands back and forth and slowly walking near your favourite flower felt like one of those cliché moments from a drama. Especially when you kneeled down to smell on it.

The heavy, but lively smell of the rose lingered in your nose, bringing up even more memories. Renjun gave you one of those exact roses, when he had confessed that he liked you. A small grin made it's way to your lips. “It looks so pretty.”, Renjun said while putting his arm around your shoulders, “Pretty like you!” You couldn't help, but roll your eyes. This was typically him. Renjun loved to compliment and tease you at the same time

You loved the moments when he was simply being himself. He was acting different. Usually he would be rather harsh, or how people liked to put it, ignorant towards other people’s feelings. But he always cared for you. You were his soft spot. It was only normal that couples had little fights from time to time, but renjun never let the two of you be angry at each other for a long time.

He always was the first one to apologize, or if it wasn’t his mistake, he would still want to make up, inviting you to do something that you liked. His classic line which always worked was weather you would want to eat some food ugh him. It was one of the many personality traits that you liked about him

“Ah! I really want to draw the pond and swan over there! It’s unbelievable pretty!” He excitedly took out his paintings tools and moved the stuff around until it stood perfectly within his reach while drawing. You just followed him and tried to not get in his way.

Tipping the smallest brush into the water glass, he started to draw the perfect scenery in front of you. He truly was talented at this. You couldn’t help but admire the way he let the colors dance on the Canva “Your drawing is so unbelievable. It really does look like it’s real”

His face lit up,once the words left your mouth “This is the last painting I”ll before I’m gone. I want it to be perfect!”he still smiled at you, but his eyes showed how he truly felt. The sadness dominating any other feels. Once again, you sighed. It has been almost 3 years, since you’ve been a couple and now you two just stood there, waiting for him to leave

Quickly noticed How your mood shifted towards a bad one, you tried to change the topic

There will be enough time for me to sad once he left

“Do you remember that this place is the first place we met and-“ “The place where I confessed my feelings for you?” He finished your sentence with a smirk. Chuckling you nodded at the statement

That day he called you and asked you to meet him at the park “ can you cell me?” was that he said, when he actually was going to confess to you. You can’t forget that day. You never will. It’s a very precious moment to you, even if he stuttered a lot and the confession felt really awkward too

“Your birthday is this week, isn’t it?” Renjun suddenly asked. You stopping your thoughts. Right, you totally forgot about your birthday. Surprised you just hummed and nodded. “What do you want for your birthday?” You didn’t need to think twice “I just want you stay alive and healthy. I wish you could always be my side” you smile confidently

That will never happen

It was obvious to renjun, but to avoid you sadder he just smile sweetly at you instead of responding “Can we go somewhere after this? Maybe the shopping mall?” You asked him. He looked at you and hugged you close to his chest “Of course!”

He would spend his time with you wisely and make sure that every precious and special moment will never be forgotten

Day 7

I can't lose him! Please!

You buried your face into his shoulder and grabbed his sweater like your own life depended on holding it. You couldn't believe he was going to die in less than a day. He couldn't... Your fragile, pathetic hope only faded more when he started coughing. In the last few days his condition extremely worsened and you tried to understand why people needed to suffer before dying so much. Isn't death enough?

“It's your birthday tomorrow, isn't it?”, he quietly asked while stroking your back.  “Yes” Your answer was barely loud enough to hear, being muffled by his neck. Still, you hugged him only tighter, afraid of finally losing him. “Y/n, I'm so sorry if I'm not able to be with you tomorrow to celebrate your birthday.” You knew what’s he meant. No, this couldn't be happening! Why were you suddenly to dumb to accept it?

“Please find a better guy than me. A guy who will make you happy, who will stay loyal to you and only loves you. Find a guy who will stay by your side forever. Don't find another guy who'll make you feel dissapointed.” You wanted to tell him, that he never disappointed you, but he already pulled you into a sweet kiss. His lips felt so soft. Soft but rough. It was like your first kiss with him. It was like your first night with him. But in reality, it was your last kiss with him. Yet you saw it as another moment that had been created in this special time.

“You know... I am never going to stop loving you!” You said and looked at him. His face was so pale, you could see the soft blue shining through it. “Me too, honey. There are 7 billion people on this earth but I fell in love with you. We have been a long journey together. Everyone can fall in love but not everyone has a happy ending with it. I'm sorry that I couldn't keep my promise, Y/n!” I know, Renjun.

The worst part for you was that it all happened so fast. But somehow you still hoped this was only a dream. That you would wake up to a healthy Renjun wishing you a happy birthday. Finally the clock was showing 12 AM. It was your birthday. Sounding just as sleepy as you felt he whispered a soft “Happy birthday, Y/n!” He stroked your hair while looking at you with loving eyes, a smile on his lips for the last time, before you both fall asleep under your shared blanket.

Not knowing, that they were his last words.

Day 8

You woke up from a deep slumber and moved your blanket. You saw that Renjun was still ‘sleeping’. Softly you shaked him to wake him up, with no sign of success. He didn't response in any way. After a few more times of you trying to wake him up and him still not moving an inch, you tried to recall which date it was today.

No, it can't be.

Yesterday was the last day you would spend with him. One week. Seven days. All moved by faster than you could remember. In your final hope you searched for his heartbeat, but you didn't hear anything. You couldn't. Now you would need to accept the fact that he was gone. Forever.

You start sobbing. "Renjun, please wake up. Please!" Despite your wobbly arms, you shook his body, screaming so uncontrollably loud that it even hurt your ears. It's my birthday. Today is supposed to be a happy day. This has to be a nightmare. I'll always be by your side. Resonating in your mind you hear a faint voice, but you just ignore it. Renjun was right. Not everyone has a happy ending. And you were certainly one of them.

I'm sorry for breaking our promise

©ɴᴄᴛᴡᴏʀsᴛsᴛᴜғғ@/ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ

[justapotatonow]

Sunshine boy ch.1

Summary: Lucas and Y/n have been best friends for a long time, so what will happen when there's trouble in paradise and a new person enters their lives.

A/n: ello so ik this is bad bUt I've never done a written series before so yeet🤠🤡 also special thanks to @sadyeehawismy2ndname and @marsgotnojams

Masterlist

It was about 3 months ago when Y/n noticed Lucas getting distant. She didn't think anything of it at first, because they didn't have to spend all their time together. But she hasn't seen him in 2 weeks and she was starting to feel a little lonely even though she had lots of other people to hang out with, she still missed her best friend.

That's why they decided to meet up at the new coffee shop that opened just a few weeks ago but seemed fairly interesting.

But after over two hours of listening to coffee shop music and calling Lucas for the thousandth time, she decided to check Instagram and see what her friends are up to. But when she got a notification that Lucas posted a photo, she was curious and clicked on his profile. And sure enough, he just posted a photo of him and his friend, Kun, who she's only met very briefly, at one of their many parties. She knew the photo was recent because of Lucas' hair color, which he only changed recently. But what hurt her the most was the caption "Never let your best friends be lonely!".

Most customers had left already and it was almost time for the young barista Jungwoo to close the shop. But he was more worried about how he was going to drive back to his dorm without crashing his bike into a bush somewhere. And he was, of course, worried about the cute girl in the back of the shop whos been there for over two hours looking pretty sad. And since the costumers have cleared out and it was only the two of them in the shop, he decided to come over to her table with two cups of hot tea and two chocolate muffins.

She decided to just order a last drink and go home. What Y/n didn't notice that it was getting late and that there was a pretty bad rainstorm outside the cozy coffee shop.

The girl's thoughts were interrupted when the young boy sat across from her and pushed a cup of tea in front of her. "Uh, I couldn't help but notice that you looked sad so I thought that this might cheer you up a little." after which he smiled shyly. "oH my, I'm so sorry you probably have to close the shop, I'm really sorry I'll go now" she added with an embarrassed laugh. "No, no it's fine! Really! It looks like we're gonna be stuck here for a while anyway." he pointed to the window and she finally noticed the heavy rains storm outside. "Fuck. How am I supposed to get home" Y/n said and sat back at the table. "I texted the owner a while ago, he's a good friend of mine. But it could be a while before he gets here. Something about an important meeting he has to attend."

"So we're stuck here huh?"

"Yeah looks like it."

"Why don't we get to know each other then," she said shrugging her shoulders and taking a sip of the slightly colder tea.

"Well, my name is Kim Jungwoo"

"Pleasure to meet you Jungwoo, I'm Y/n Y/l/n"

She kept checking her phone to see if Lucas texted her, which didn't go unnoticed by Jungwoo "So who are you waiting for?"

Y/n looked out the window and told him she was waiting for her best friend who she hasn't seen in a while.

"Lucas?"

"..Yeah, do you know him? or are you just really good at guessing names?" he laughed in response, a sound she could get used to.

"I've seen you two around campus before. And almost everyone knows you two! You guys are really popular, why do you think it took me all this time to come over and talk to you? ".

"Oh come on Jungwoo I don't bite" she laughed "not unless you want me to" she smirked at him and he shivered.

"Are you cold? Our heater broke this morning, but I can get some blankets from the back if you want"

"That would be great. Do you need any help?"

"It's fine, they're not very heavy. I'll be right back!"

Jungwoo comes back a few minutes later with the blankets. He proposes to move to the couches which were standing under the stairs to the second floor. She agreed, and when Jungwoo made himself comfortable on the couch, Y/n sat next to him and pulled the blankets over them.

He looked at her with wide eyes and she said that it was to "preserve heat" to which he just nodded his head and stared at the coffee table in front of them.

Jungwoo asked what had happened between her and Lucas and they got to talking. They talked about their families, school, past relationships and somehow they ended up falling asleep on the couch, legs tangled and not realizing how much time has passed

Y/n's phone ringing woke them up she saw Lucas' face lighting up the screen and Jungwoo signaled for her to pick up.

And so she did, only to be greeted with Lucas yelling at her and asking her where she was. "Why should I tell you?"

"What do you mean 'wHy sHoUlD I tElL yOu' I'm worried, it's storming outside."

"Oh so now you care all of a sudden."

"Send me your location I'm picking you up"

"No. Lucas calm down you're overreacting"

"I'm overreacting? Okay sure"

Then Jungwoo sneezed and mouthed 'sorry'

"Who was that??"

"A very nice guy I met today. We could've been hanging out right now but you stood me up and I've waited for two hours. Do you know how embarrassing that was?"

"I'm sor-"

But she hung up before he could finish the sentence.

"He seems... nice?"

She laughed at his attempt to lighten the mood.

"Jungwoo, thank you for today. Honestly, you cheered me up. Id like to keep in touch." she said scribbling her number on a napkin.

Y/n gave him the napkin and a kiss on the cheek. "Call me anytime." she whispered in his ear.

She left the cafe with a smile on her lips leaving a shocked Jungwoo behind.Sunshine boy

It was about 3 months ago when Y/n noticed Lucas getting distant. She didn't think anything of it at first, because they didn't have to spend all their time together. But she hasn't seen him in 2 weeks and she was starting to feel a little lonely even though she had lots of other people to hang out with, she still missed her best friend.

That's why they decided to meet up at the new coffee shop that opened just a few weeks ago but seemed fairly interesting.

Most customers had left already and it was almost time for the young barista Jungwoo to close the shop. But he was more worried about how he was going to drive back to his dorm without crashing his bike into a bush somewhere. And he was, of course, worried about the cute girl in the back of the shop whos been there for over two hours looking pretty sad. And since the costumers have cleared out and it was only the two of them in the shop, he decided to come over to her table with two cups of hot tea and two chocolate muffins.

But after over two hours of listening to coffee shop music and calling Lucas for the thousandth time, she decided to check Instagram and see what her friends are up to. But when she got a notification that Lucas posted a photo, she was curious and clicked on his profile. And sure enough, he just posted a photo of him and his friend, Kun, who she's only met very briefly, at one of their many parties. She knew the photo was recent because of Lucas' hair color, which he only changed recently. But what hurt her the most was the caption "Never let your best friends be lonely!".

She decided to just order a last drink and go home. What Y/n didn't notice that it was getting late and that there was a pretty bad rainstorm outside the cozy coffee shop.

The girl's thoughts were interrupted when the young boy sat across from her and pushed a cup of tea in front of her. "Uh, I couldn't help but notice that you looked sad so I thought that this might cheer you up a little." after which he smiled shyly. "oH my, I'm so sorry you probably have to close the shop, I'm really sorry I'll go now" she added with an embarrassed laugh. "No, no it's fine! Really! It looks like we're gonna be stuck here for a while anyway." he pointed to the window and she finally noticed the heavy rains storm outside. "Fuck. How am I supposed to get home" Y/n said and sat back at the table. "I texted the owner a while ago, he's a good friend of mine. But it could be a while before he gets here. Something about an important meeting he has to attend."

"So we're stuck here huh?"

"Yeah looks like it."

"Why don't we get to know each other then," she said shrugging her shoulders and taking a sip of the slightly colder tea.

"Well, my name is Kim Jungwoo"

"Pleasure to meet you Jungwoo, I'm Y/n Y/l/n"

She kept checking her phone to see if Lucas texted her, which didn't go unnoticed by Jungwoo "So who are you waiting for?"

Y/n looked out the window and told him she was waiting for her best friend who she hasn't seen in a while.

"Lucas?"

"..Yeah, do you know him? or are you just really good at guessing names?" he laughed in response, a sound she could get used to.

"I've seen you two around campus before. And almost everyone knows you two! You guys are really popular, why do you think it took me all this time to come over and talk to you? ".

"Oh come on Jungwoo I don't bite" she laughed "not unless you want me to" she smirked at him and he shivered.

"Are you cold? Our heater broke this morning, but I can get some blankets from the back if you want"

"That would be great. Do you need any help?"

"It's fine, they're not very heavy. I'll be right back!"

Jungwoo comes back a few minutes later with the blankets. He proposes to move to the couches which were standing under the stairs to the second floor. She agreed, and when Jungwoo made himself comfortable on the couch, Y/n sat next to him and pulled the blankets over them.

He looked at her with wide eyes and she said that it was to "preserve heat" to which he just nodded his head and stared at the coffee table in front of them.

Jungwoo asked what had happened between her and Lucas and they got to talking. They talked about their families, school, past relationships and somehow they ended up falling asleep on the couch, legs tangled and not realizing how much time has passed

Y/n's phone ringing woke them up she saw Lucas' face lighting up the screen and Jungwoo signaled for her to pick up.

And so she did, only to be greeted with Lucas yelling at her and asking her where she was. "Why should I tell you?"

"What do you mean 'wHy sHoUlD I tElL yOu' I'm worried, it's storming outside."

"Oh so now you care all of a sudden."

"Send me your location I'm picking you up"

"No. Lucas calm down you're overreacting"

"I'm overreacting? Okay sure"

Then Jungwoo sneezed and mouthed 'sorry'

"Who was that??"

"A very nice guy I met today. We could've been hanging out right now but you stood me up and I've waited for two hours. Do you know how embarrassing that was?"

"I'm sor-"

But she hung up before he could finish the sentence.

"He seems... nice?"

She laughed at his attempt to lighten the mood.

"Jungwoo, thank you for today. Honestly, you cheered me up. Id like to keep in touch." she said scribbling her number on a napkin.

Y/n gave him the napkin and a kiss on the cheek. "Call me anytime." she whispered in his ear.

She left the cafe with a smile on her lips leaving a shocked Jungwoo behind.