#if i keep the rhythm i should be done rewriting by the middle of november but then i'll have another editing round before typing
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Little update for anyone counting: VtM doctor superion AU is still in rewriting phase. I'm at page 32 of 106 and it is the equivalent to page 52 (of X) in the new version.
#that's twenty additional pages. i have no idea of how long this is going to get lol#perhaps it goes up to 150 pages instead of the original 106. i don't know. don't expect it.#if i keep the rhythm i should be done rewriting by the middle of november but then i'll have another editing round before typing#and i won't start posting until i have more than 50% of it typed. so. i'm estimating a 2025 launch#i did say this would be the most self-indulgent fic i ever wrote lol. it really is.#but meanwhile i'm still doing drabbles and the occasional challenge so it's not all radio silence from me#i REALLY wanted to get some meta in as there are a whole lot of topics i'd like to analyse in wn still#but the mindset for fiction and non-fiction is so different... sigh.#maybe while the sweetest chill is being posted. it should buy me some seven months with a weekly update lol#of course i intend to get back to the teenagers au while that's happening but between one thing and the other...#ANYWAY. enough babbling. this is just so you know i'm busy#silly blabbering
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2019 year in review
Soā¦ The 2010ās are almost over. Huh. What a decade itās been. Hard to comprehend how much has changed in 10 years. I can barely believe that I was in high school at the beginning of this decade, and now Iām a college graduate with 2 degrees whoās been working at the same job for the last 3 years. But trying to summarize the past 10 years in a single post is a good way to give myself an existential crisis, so letās not do that! Instead, letās just focus on 2019 because there has been more than enough shit thatās happened to me in this year to talk about.
PART 1 OF 2: 2019 AND 2020 GOALS AND RESOLUTIONS
Huh, looking back through my archives, I apparently didnāt make a tumblr post about my goals this year. I definitely had some, though. Lemme list āem off real quick, and then weāll go through them point by point.
1)Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Pay off all my student loans 2)Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Finish some song comics 3)Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Make art for my Redbubble account 4)Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Finish the first rough draft/script of a game I wanted to make 5)Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Practice ASL 6)Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Sew some stuffed animals 7)Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Finish some fan fictions 8)Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Work on Ghost Switch 9)Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā AMVs 10)Ā Ā Do some original writing 11)Ā Ā Make illustrations for my fan fictions
Okay, first off, the student loans. I was actually SO CLOSE to successfully completing this one bUT THEN MY CAR HAD TO BE A WHINEY PISS BABY AND HAVE ITS ALTERNATOR DIE ON ME WHILE I WAS ON THE HIGHWAY AND THEN A BLOW OUT THREE WEEKS LATER.
GOD, if I had to summarize this year in two words, for me it would be āCar troublesā. I swear I spent more on auto repair in the first third of this year than I ever have just freakinā OWNING a car. All four of my tires had to be replaced, my alternator failed and my car literally just SHUT OFF while I was driving, and I was barely able to coast into a gas station. Both my front breaks and rear breaks were worn down the metal and I only learned this when my car was barely able to stop after I had to slam the petal down full force! Ā I went in for an oil change, and they found some problems and then I didnāt get my car back for three days! I donāt even like owning a car! I hate driving! I hate my countryās refusal to provide universal, free public transportation! I NEVER ASKED FOR THIS!
Oh-kayā¦ number 2. Finish some song comics. I didnāt finish any. But that doesnāt mean I didnāt work on them. I have made tiny progress, but thatās certainly better than no progress. One of these song comics I hope to be realizes is going to be a collab with one of my friends. Itāll be a long-time coming as itās pretty low priority for the both of us, but if anyone else out there was disappointed with KH3ās ending, weāre gonna have yaā coveredā¦ With SONG!
3. Make some redbubble art. I actually did this one! Not in the way I expected, but I added (technically) 3 new designs to my redbubble in the middle of the year. If you like butterflies and dragons, I got some product for you~!
Number 4, finish a script for a game I want to make. Iā¦ thought about this. I thought about this a lot, but I never put pen to paper, soā¦ oops. It almost happened! I debated making this my main writing project for NaNoWriMo this year, but ended up having more inspiration for another story. Maybe next year? (god, I hope not. I donāt want to wait a full year just to write something)
Number 5, practice ASL. I just straight up didnāt do this and I only have myself to blame. Still keepinā up that Danish Duolingo streak, though. 4 years going strong and not a day missed yet.
Number 6, sew some stuffed animals. Again, another one I just straight up didnāt do, but I have an excuse of trying to save money while my car crashed and burned in every other sense except literal this year. Hopefully 2020 will be different. Iāll definitely be able to pay off this last loan within the first half of 2020, and then I can start saving for whatever I want to buy.
Finish some fan fictions was number 7, and I did this! Well, I only finished, 1, but it was a story Iāve been working on for over 3 years, and it came out to over 200 THOUSAND words long, which is the longest thing Iāve ever written, and Iām quite proud of myself. Now that the big story is out of the way, and Iāve gotten into a good rhythm of working on Ghost Switch, maybe I can squeeze in some short writing sessions more frequently. (either that, or just wait for my car to break down again and then go on a writing spree in a pepboys. The lord and the fan fic discord know thatās solely why I finished my other fic this year)
Speaking of Ghost Switch, working on it was a goal this year too, and I did that! I kept it up all year and took a vacation in November and it was wonderful. While the major plot points have been in place since before I started drawing, I still need to script each arc beyond Snowdin, but hey, by the time we get there, itāll be 2022 so I got time. (Note, donāt do this, kids. Script your stories and comics thoroughly before publishing. The road Iām on is paved with misery and pain and it will only end in tears unless I change lanes soon)
Number 9, amvs. Do people make AMVs anymore? Idkā¦ the last one I made was... Jesus, 5 years ago? (it was a gravity falls/fall out boy crossover, if you were curious) Iāve been wanting to do 2 more for just as long, but in order for me to do that, Iād have to spend time re-watching the shows to find the footage, and then actually edit them together, and I just donātā¦. feel like it. Maybe someday, but not any day soon.
10; do some original writing. I did this! For nanowrimo! I wrote the first draft of some original fiction Iāve been planning for a year or two now and it completely sucks! But itās on paper now and Iām happy. Will I revise and edit it? Sure, but not for a while. I want to let it sit and forget about it and look at it with new eyes months from now so I can be sure I can make it better when time comes to rewrite.
11, make illustrations for my fan fics. Now that You Monster is done, I want to go back and add pictures to it. I didnāt do any this year, but I did keep a list of scenes I wanted to draw, so I have plenty of ideas to do as warm up sketches next year~ I kinda want to stream them~
So, that was 11 goals, and I successfully fulfilled 4 of them! Thatās! Not a very good ratioā¦ QmQ So, goals for 2020. Some Iām gonna keep from this year, some Iām gonna drop and some Iām gonna add. In short I would like to,
1)Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Finish paying off that last student loan 2)Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Put more stuff on my redbubble 3)Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Illustrate my own fan fics 4)Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Sew at least one stuffed animal 5)Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Make an enamel pin 6)Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Read one new book a month 7)Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Write one page a day/Complete at least one new fan fic 8)Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Learn Python or C# for the game I want to make 9)Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Finish fully scripting Ghost Switch 10)Ā Ā Boost my patreon
Most of these I think are pretty self-explanitory, but Iāll go into detail just a bit because Iām on a roll and typing my thoughts helps me feel less alone in the middle of the night when youāre super tired and you know you should probably go to sleep, but the toddler in you is throwing a tantrum and doesnāt wanna go to sleep just yet, but you canāt fight the progression of time either way.
Number 1- I should be able to reach this goal by the end of March. End of June at the absolute latest. Once that goal is met, my secret new yearās resolution will be unlocked as well!
Number 2- I want to put more art of my OCs on redbubble. These OCs are tied to the game I want to make. Thereās already some art of them up there, but I want at least one piece for each character.
Number 3- Mostly for You Monster. Embrace the cardinal rule of fan fic and apply it to fan art. If you want to read aboutĀ see art about certain ideas, scenarios, or what-ifs, you gotta make it yourself.
Number 4- I have 3 potential ideas to sew. One is definitely leagues easier than the other two and will probably be chosen if/when I have the time and materials.
Number 5- This year I got really, REALLY into the idea of making enamel pins. Unfortunately itās a pretty big investment (like, $350 to make 100 pins youĀ might not even sell). If this happens, itāll probably be towards the end of the year, and if I get enough interest. Iām currently torn between making an original enamel pin and one based off Undertale. Weāll just have to see where this goes.
Number 6- Back in 2018 when I paid off one of my many student loans, I rewarded myself by spending over 200 dollars in used books. All these books had a theme; they were focused on dragons because I have a problem. I have not yet read a single one of these books I have bought, and I would like to fix that. I have, like, 20 unread dragon books, and even if I only read 12 out of 20, I would consider that an amazing accomplishment and money well spent.
Number 7- I currently have about 8 different WIPs I could work on. (well, I donāt know if I can even call them wips. More like, a general idea and a title written down.) I want to build good writing habits, and if I can write just 200 words a day, hell, even 200 words a week and just one of my 8 stories done, I would consider this goal met.
Number 8- Iām torn between making my game in unity or renāpy. I know jack shit about both. Renāpy is more user friendly, but unity will allow me more customization. (Lol, can you guess what kind of game I want to make yet?)
Number Ā 9- I really just want the full story to be done and written incase anything goes horribly terribly wrong in my life and I find myself unable to continue making ghost switch in comic form. Then at least I can finish the story by other means, you know?
Number 10- It always surprises me every month when I get that patreon email saying I got paid. Sure, I donāt even make double digits on it, but it still awes me enough to know that people out there like my work enough to throw me a tip. I canāt thank my patrons enough for supporting me and I hope to one day be in such a good place I can update my comic/song comics/writing frequently enough without need for goals or milestones. But until that magical day arrives, money is always a great incentive for anything, I suppose. ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ
Ā ALRIGHT. PART 2 OF 2: SHIT THAT HAPPENED TO ME IN 2019
Cheesus crust what a year. This year started off great! Back in late January Kingdom Hearts 3 FINALLY released, and let me tell you a little story. Back in the summer of 2006 I was a 13 year old middle schooler with no way of making money other than by doing house hold chores at a rate of 25 cents a task. A few weeks ago, I had a sleep over at a friendās house and they let me play this weird game called āKingdom Heartsā and god, I was instantly hooked on it. That summer, I did over 800 chores, enough to earn myself 200$ and buy myself a playstation 2 (just in time for the ps3 to come out, gg me) The only games I had for the ps2 were KH1, 2, Re:CoM and Okami, and I beat them allā¦ except Okami. Miffed that the PS3 wouldnāt allow for backwards compatibility, little 13-year-old me made a promise. I looked myself in the mirror and said āI will not buy the next playstation console until KH3 comes out, AND BOY that was probably a good choice for me to make with my level of gaming. Iām even less of a casual gamer than the average casual gamer, but I have been waiting 13 years for this piece of closure, and I even told my friends and family that āthe day Kingdom Hearts 3 comes out is the day I will buy a playstation 4ā. My dad apparently thought this was the funniest shit, because he literally took the day off from work that Friday to drive me on base to get the game and console (he thought it would be less crowded than a regular walmart, I suppose). I paid $400 on a ps4 pro while he bought me the game. Again, I have an impecible sense of timing seeing as the PS5 is now right on the horrizion, but just like before, Iām not buying a new console until the next KH game is released. See you in 2045, sony~. While I was at the gamestop on base, I also picked up Okami HD and The Last Guardian. For all of February and even early March, I took my time playing through KH3. Andā¦! It was the best disappointment Iāve ever played. After a month away from gaming, I started The Last Guardian and finished it in a couple weeks. I love trico and would die for him, but trying to get 100% completion on that game is udder insanity. Okami, HD, howeverā¦ again after a month break after finishing TLG, I started replaying Okami. I think I had only managed to get about halfway through the game before I justā¦ stopped playing it on my ps2 version. I am currently SO CLOSE to getting a 100% on the ps4 version. In fact, Iāve beaten the game. I only (techinically) need 2 more trophies to be done; 1st, escape the water dragon without being eaten, 2nd, I need to beat that dumb stupid race with Kai, in order to get the last bead on my rosary, as well as the top dog trophy. I hate her so much. I hate this race so much. Itās awful and bad.
Flash forward to December! Earlier this month I was at Barnes and Noble, buying myself a planner for 2020. I exit the store and notice that thereās a gamestop across the street. For shits and giggles I go inside to look at their game selection, and I find KH 1.5 and 2.5. Now, my PS2 died a few years back (it just wonāt read my discs anymore, I donāt know why) and I havenāt been able to replay any of my other kingdom hearts games since. If you had seen me the day I finished kingdom hearts 3, after the ending credits rolled, you would have heard me say āManā¦. I wish I could play kingdom hearts 2 againā. AND NOW I CAN, ALONG WITH BBS which I had never even played yet, but knew the story of. Iāve restarted playing kh1, and I was so happy to hear that familiar music when I booted the game up for the first time. While at the game stop, I also picked up Rime and Tearaway, two games that had looked interesting to me. At the time of writing, Iāve finished Rime and am 25% done with tearaway. Rime wasā¦. An interesting experience. I learned about it through Jacksepticeyeās channel a couple years back and thought the art style was enticing. For a super casual gamer like me, I found the puzzles just the right level of challenging and exploring was a blast! The music gave me VERY strong Princes Mononoke vibes, but the overall story left something to be desired. Overall I had fun, and enjoyed completing this game to 100%. Now for tearaway. Can I just say this game is super fucking adorable? I know the original was on the ps vita and the gameplay there was arguably more diverse and imaginative, but this game is just so fucking cute I donāt care?? ALSO, this gameās sound track is ABSOLUTELY incredible and Iāve only heard the first fourth of it! Listen to The Orchards, Pig Riding, and Gibbet Hill Pilgrimage for a taste of their wonderful beats and fantastic use of string and woodwinds! God, Iām so excited to get some more games in 2020. Iām proud to say I currently own more ps4 games than I ever did with my ps2 (and now the majority ARENāT Kingdom Hearts titles!), and Iām still hoping to play Journey, The Witness, and Abzu before everything becomes ps5.
What else happened to me this year. Oh, I went to a doctor for, like, the first time in seven years. I also had my blood drawn for the first time ever, and the nurse said the most disturbing thing to me while she did it. Now, whenever I get shots, I refuse to look. I did that here. So she thought it would be appropriate to say to me āCan you feel your blood leaving your body?ā Ladyā¦ You can clearly see I am uncomfortable with what is happening here. Why, of all the things you could say, did you choose to say that. Unfortunately, while my doctor is nice, she keeps wanting to run tests on me, that I just cannot afford with my current salary, and my monthly insurance is about to go up to 200$ a month, so Iāve cancelled my next appointment with them, and donāt plan to go back until itās absolutely necessary. Capitalism is fun, guys. Preventative healthcare is for wusses.
I started going to a chiropractor on a monthly basis. Story time- I donāt know when it started, but sometime late last November I began to notice that I had a headache that just... wasnāt... going away? And each day it was starting to get a little worse. It made it hard for me to find a comfortable position to sleep, it made it hard for me to be in bright areas or move fast. So I said to myselfĀ āOkay, if this headache persist through the month of december, then something is proooobably wrong and I should go see someone about it. And hoo-boy were thing wrong with me. By the time this January rolled around, I couldnāt even stay on my feet for more than a few hours without it physically hurting to just BREATHE. So I started going to this chain called The Joint (A+ name, I know). THey aksed meĀ āHow are you doing?ā I saidĀ āIām in painā and they saidĀ āWe can help fix that!ā. Iāve only been to a chiropractor once before in my life a few years back after my freshmen year of college because I began to notice my hips werenāt able to support me? LIke, I would lie on my back, and I couldnāt push my hips up when my feet were flat on the floor. I also couldnāt climb anything steep, because my legs just couldnāt push me up if my knee had to bend more than 90 degrees when I lifted my leg up. (Turned out both my hips were apparently out of place). This time only one of my hips were out of place (which they fixed. they said one of my legs was an inch ālongerā than the other because I had been leaning all my weight on one leg when I stand). But two of my ribs were apparentlyĀ āStuckā which was why it was hurting for me to just breathe, and one of my shoulders was missaligned too, causing one of my trap muscles to constantly be streched, which was pulling on my skull, and causing the headache. Anyway, after they popped all my bones back into place, I still felt terrible, but by god, that night was the first time in weeks I was able to sleep without a migrane. A chiropractor canāt magically heal your arthritis, or fibro, but I definately think they have merit to keeping your posture good and helping your body with things like circulation. 10 outa 10, would recomend. Itās all the fun of getting your neck snapped without the dying!
Earlier this month I got together with two of my friends and we baked Christmas cookies. It was a lot of fun, as well as a great learning experience. A member of my family has a gluten allergy, so we used rice flour for most of the cookies. We learned this is a bad idea! The cookies will just fall apart! A few memberās in one of the friendās family have nut allergies. Other friend and I knew this and were careful to avoid cookie recipes with nuts, bUT THEN COMPLETELY FORGOT THAT ALMOND MILK AND ALMOND EXTRACT COUNT AS NUT. IN FACT, ALMOND EXTRACT IS PURE CONCENTRATED NUT JUICE AND WE FELT SO BAD FOR ALMOST ACCIDENTALLY POISONING THE FAMILY.
Earlier this year me and these same friends took a field trip to Hobby Lobby and just dicked around the store for a couple of hours. It was super fun, 11 outa 10, would recommend, a great date idea for your artsy S.O.
Back in May I went to a wedding for the first time in my life. (well, not true, but the first one I could remember) we left at 5am, drove 5 hours to get there, hung out at a zoo and spent the night in a la quinta before the wedding day. I slept on the bathroom floor because my mom was snoring too loud in the main room and keeping me awake, and the rest of the day was just spent me trying to keep myself together because I was pissed off and tired.
Other than all of that, nothing really major happened to me this year. I guess one more thing Iāve tried to do this year is started the process of breaking certain internet addictions so I can use my free time for more personal projects. Seriously, I found myself watching way too much youtube and following blogs that didnāt even make me happy. I had a personal intervention with myself where I sat down and asked myself, āwhy do you watch these videos and youtubers? Why do you follow these blogs? Do you really enjoy their content? Do you really care? If you stopped watching/following them, would you even notice?ā After critically thinking it over, Iāve found myself unfollowing several channels and blogs and suddenly I feel so much happier. I thought I would miss it, but I realized I didnāt really care if I saw their content or not. I wasnāt missing much. And now I feel like I have more time to draw, read and write. If you think you spend too much time consuming and not enough time creating, I suggest you try and de-clutter your internet habits as well. Itās done wonders to un-fuck my headspace.
Andā¦ well, that about sums up my year. How are your holidays going? Anything fun, exciting, dramatic happen to you this year? I hope your new year is warm and safe! Good night, everybody!
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