#if i hadn't gotten the role i would have gone right along with my perfectly reasonable life plan and probably never acted again
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
so i'm trying to come to terms with starship iris ending, y'know, as one does when there's a project that you auditioned for on a whim as a total amateur, eight years and a lifetime ago, that is finally coming to a close, and i am really truly trying not to get sappy about it. but.
in another universe, there is no ishani kanetkar. she was born with this show, for this show, and it's still a little unbelievable to me that there are people i've never met who know who she is. it's even wilder that there are people i HAVE met who want her, this person who has never been fully real but has always still been me, to help them tell their own stories.
i recorded the pilot episode on my wired earbuds' built-in microphone, in a bedroom in my grandparents' home in mumbai. those grandparents are gone; that house of my memory too. but every time i come back to this show, i remember sitting on the bed of the small room that once belonged to my great-aunt, trying and failing to find a scrap of quiet so that kay grisham could tell violet liu it would all be okay.
so maybe some of the things i'm feeling are for the end of a story, but i think some of them are also for the ishani who started telling it, who can't go back. some of them are for ishani kanetkar, this ephemeral self and not-self, whose own time is one day going to be over. and some of them are just for me, now, who looks forward to a future with other projects and other people but not this project, with these people, and is sad to say goodbye. i hope i can do my part to give it a truly phenomenal send-off.
#tscosi#ishani speaks#urgh i DID get maudlin but like.#what do you do when you can pinpoint a decision that changed your life in ways you didn't even know it could be changed!!!#if i hadn't gotten the role i would have gone right along with my perfectly reasonable life plan and probably never acted again#but instead so many of my memories of the last 8 years are overlaid with the stories i got to help tell. because of this one#always‚ in the end‚ because of this one#SUE ME I'M AN ACTOR I GUESS I'M GONNA BE A BIT DRAMATIC
228 notes
·
View notes