#if i had a nickel for every time ive been nearly run over by a car i’d have two nickels which isn’t a lot but it’s weird it happened twice

[alaskan-wallflower]

my teacher almost hit me with his car today btw that was fun

[halorocks1214]

the law of gender

Word Count: 7773

Summary: The Law of Gender states that everything has its masculine (yang) and feminine (yin) principles, and that these are the basis for all creation. The spiritual Initiate must balance the masculine and feminine energies within herself or himself to become a Master and a true co-creator with God

Previous Parts (in order):  Alan | John | Virgil | Scott | You are here! | Kayo | Gordon | Penelope

hello thunderfam community, its, uh *looks at the last part's published date that says november 2020* been a while, huh

not gonna lie, if i had a nickel for every time i wrote 2/3 of a fic for this series and then didn't touch it for months, only to finish it in a few day-long spam sesh, i would only have two nickels, but its concerning its happened twice /lh

i swear to god this series wont be abandoned. unlike other fandoms of mine that i kinda lost interest in thunderbirds is one that is /gen always in the back of my brain (plus i did outline a TON of this AU, far more than im willing to just say "lol im done" over ya know)

also, to the influx of m/c/y/t-based followers ive gotten over the past few months due to my latest hyperfixation that decided to read this: um, hi, if none of this makes sense, that sounds about right. if you wanna know more about tbs and its various incarnations, my inbox is always open, esp since this series im writing is very much an AU and waaaaay darker than the incarnation its based on :> do be gentle tho, tbs is a very teeny fandom, and i mean that in a 'posts only get a couple hundred notes at most' type deal

also, one last note to the thunderbirds side of things: there will no longer be an ao3 link on the tumblr post of the fic because tumblr likes shadow banning things with links that go outside of tumblr! which is probably why the last part didnt do so well :D awesome! i hate tumblr i swear to GOD

anyways, please enjoy!

Valerie Casey thought Jeff was the craziest man she had ever laid her eyes upon.

“Jeff, you’re the craziest man I’ve ever had the chance to lay my eyes upon.”

Playfully shrugging his shoulders, Jeff Tracy leaned back and gripped his beer bottle tighter while using his other hand to grip the back of his chair so he didn’t fall out of it and onto his ass. They were in public, “C’mon, what’s the issue?”

Casey was going to lose it, “Really? I knew the ego boost that you would get from being the First Man on Mars alongside running your very own extremely successful company would be huge, but I never even dreamed it would be this ridiculous.” She fidgeted with the napkin on the table closest to her before finally saying it, “Colorful rockets that can practically defy God himself-”

“And a submarine and space station.”

She nearly threw her hands up into the air, “That’s not the point, Jeff! Do you seriously see there being no issue in making technology that is more advanced than most technology to date out of the blue without giving those in power input first? You know what they could do if it makes them angry? You’re seriously just going to hop in without thinking about any of it?”

He looked her dead in the eyes, “Yes...”

She was going to form a migraine very quickly it seemed, “Money might be useful but it really can’t fix everything, you know. There’s a nice middle ground between ‘money can’t make you happy ever’ deniability and… whatever the hell it is you’re going through.”

It appeared as if he wasn’t done, however, “... Because I have you.”

Whatever Casey was expecting, it wasn’t that.

Jeff leaned forward, “A respected Major in the GDF? Throwing in her two cents? They would eat that up and maybe take my ideas into consideration.”

Casey blinked and cleared her throat, the point Jeff was going for getting to her for some reason, “Well, that’s your first problem. You don’t even know if I will give my support or not.”

Jeff’s grin got much less cocky and leaned more toward being soft, “Yeah, you’re not wrong there. I can’t force you to be on board, I wouldn’t do that to you. It would be unfortunate to be vehemently opposed to the viewpoint of my best friend, but I’m not going to hold it against you. I admit this idea is somewhat of a pipe dream and based on hopeful desires, but…” Jeff took a slightly pained deep breath, “I just want to prevent another Lucille from happening to anyone else.”

It probably would have hurt less if he stabbed her with a rusty spoon.

Lucy was a spitfire of a woman. Hard-headed, stubborn, but determined and had a sparkle in her eyes as bright as her hair. No wonder Jeff was smitten with the lady when she was there for the Cadets tryout alongside them. Jeff practically fell over backward with infatuation, like a child’s first crush, in a sad, adorable way. Jeff and Lucy were two sides of the same coin, which was why Casey was the only one not too entirely surprised when she said yes to the ring.

The news of her death was… shocking, to say the least, and utterly devastating, to say the most.

The funeral was quick, quiet, the family too busy dealing with a hospitalized Alan as well as the news of the baby of the family being in there spreading through the internet like wildfire. Casey did her best to delete any traces off the web, wringing any rookies a new one for daring to try and stir up the rumor mill, but the world was cruel, electing to see the Tracys as some circus act rather than the grieving family they were.

Jeff was a smart man. An incredibly smart, rich man, one that was a father of five children that he was suddenly in charge of with the help of his mother. Casey too had memories of her parents threatening to move mountains for her if it meant she would be safe. Considering how Jeff… spiraled a little bit after Lucy’s demise, how he left his children to fend for themselves for even just a second too long, it’s no wonder he felt the need to perform some grandiose gesture.

Jeff tended to deal in absolutes a lot. Once he laid his eyes on Lucy he was dead set on wooing her, when he took that first step on Mars he realized he could do even more and made an entire company in his name, so when the man accidentally hurt his children in his grief, what was stopping him in making sure he can go above and beyond to making it up to them (to her)?

Casey was still apprehensive, but, “Okay, let’s see what you can pull off.”

Jeff’s eyes widened and his grin became childlike in its enthusiasm, “Holy shit, you’re really going to back me up on this?”

Casey took a sip from her drink while choosing her next words very carefully, “I will stand by your side when you bring your final presentation to the GDF and other governments who need a say in how this operation will work. If their decision is against that, it’s all up to you. It’s the least I could do after all you have done for me and my wife.”

“Hell yeah, Val, you’re the best!” Jeff cheered, only to get a little too happy in his movements and fall backward out of his chair, straight onto the ground and onto his ass with a loud crash.

Casey could only cover her eyes in the direction of Jeff, wondering why she loved this dumbass as much as she did.

The next two weeks came and went, Jeff and his mother planning blueprint after blueprint after blueprint. Casey even got to briefly meet an old college friend of his, a man by the name… Brains, of all things?

“I-It’s a nickname, M-Miss Major. The name’s Hiram Ha-Hackenbacker, b-but feel free to call m-me Brains.”

So Brains was the third person who joined them on their expedition to impress those above them in power. Casey considered herself an unflappable woman, relatively speaking, so the way her stomach felt like it twisted into knots as she walked into the meeting that would decide their fate was a feeling she absolutely loathed.

The two men gave their speeches, their backstories, and their motivations to the whole idea of a national rescue organization. They talked about the technology and how they would achieve it with no detail being left behind. It was hard to not feel at least some sympathy for the idea when Jeff brought up Lucy, how he had a genuine reason as to why such an operation should exist.

Casey was clearing her throat when the General in the room called for her opinion.

She glanced over at her friend and newfound acquaintance. Brains adjusted his glasses with a grin, and Jeff, being Jeff, gave her a resounding two thumbs up.

Taking a deep breath, she took a step forward and spoke her heart out, “There are bound to be risks with such new and inventive technology, I don’t doubt that. But these guys, these men who stand before you today, well, they are just some of the most special and unique ones I’ve had the opportunity to witness. If there was anyone else behind these ideals, I wouldn’t have even considered it. But Jeff Tracy is no ordinary man, if I may point out. I don’t trust many with my life wholeheartedly, let alone swathes of people, but Jeff? If he put his mind to it, he could lead the world and have my full support.”

She turned back to look at him and felt the tension in her shoulders vanish when she made eye contact with Jeff’s prideful expression. She only hoped the people judging their life choices that could easily nip them in the bud felt the same way. They proceeded to have a brief recess so everyone could relax and make final decisions. This was the first time in a while Casey noticed Jeff rapidly tapping his foot nervously.

It took a lot nowadays for Jeff Tracy to show his nervousness.

Eventually, the recess was over and they were back in the room. No displays or blueprints or holograms, just the three humans standing side by side watching the council file back into their seats one by one. The lethargicness of the whole thing only resulted in making them more worried. Finally, the General was done shifting his papers and clearing his throat, catching the (hopefully) soon-to-be Operatives’ attention.

He stood up and brushed off his pants before giving the final verdict, “We are aware that an idea such as International Rescue is very original, so much so that it’s unheard of. There is bound to be pushback from the leaders of the world due to such an unorthodox method of action.”

The three stood with bated breath.

The General let out an elongated sigh, “However, Colonel Tracy is a valued Cadet, one with unrivaled skills and smarts. If he and his colleagues want to put in the work of figuring out how his operation can interact within the laws of other countries, then we don’t see why he can’t pull it off.”

They nodded their heads with grace and thanked the higher-ups for giving them the leniency to pull off their plan. Only once they were outside the building did they start cheering and whooping. “Hell yeah!” Jeff yelled with a fist in the air, “Operation Thunderbirds is a go, lady, and gentleman!”

Brains opted to get an early night’s sleep while Casey and Jeff went to a nearby bar to celebrate even further. The two clinked a glass, and Jeff froze right before the drink touched his lips, “Do you think she would be proud of me?”

Casey swallowed the liquid that she was holding in her cheeks, realizing who ‘she’ was immediately, “Of course, I think she would have fallen in love with you all over again after seeing the amazing man you became.”

Jeff’s grin got even wider, finally taking his own sip, “Heh, that does sound like something she would do.”

Time flew by faster than expected, and Casey got to know Jeff’s sons more and more. Scott and John were showing early signs of being the best of the best, and Virgil and Gordon might not have been following so closely in their father’s footsteps, but the careers they were pursuing were extraordinary nonetheless. She couldn’t wait to see their names inevitably appear in the news for their accomplishments.

And baby Alan was cute, fine, she’ll admit that to herself.

Throughout all the building and the planning and even the babysitting, she and Jeff continued to go on missions together, laughing in the happy moments as they came and went. The ‘Birds themselves might not have been fully completed, but that was a test of the magnitude of their potential when they looked so good even in their halfway-built stages. Casey was just lucky everyone else heard her occasional slips of the tongue of ‘International Rescue’ as a fun little nickname for Jeff while on jobs.

Not that the man helped in any way to persuade them to think otherwise.

“The magnifique International Rescue, ey? Can’t believe I’m so good at my job I can save the whole world just by flexing an arm.”

The bastard, Casey couldn’t help but roll her eyes fondly.

The days went by quicker and quicker and Casey had no choice but to start planning an absolutely spectacular send-off for Jeff when International Rescue was fully up and running and he was retired from the GDF. Everything was going excitingly smoothly.

Until a very large blast consumed the sky as well those ambitions.

“Colonel Tracy? Colonel Tracy are you there?!”

“Jeff, please respond!”

“... He’s gone.”

What was once a dream as bright as a star exploded, leaving everyone else to be burned in the place of a man who would’ve changed the world.

---

There’s something to be said about the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Casey was never the biggest fan of comparing soldiers (and other workers in general) to their fathers if said father was in the same field of work. It left too many opportunities for the soldier to gain a bigger ego than needed, or maybe put too much pressure on their shoulders, as well as left the window open for their comrades to use that relation to harm them if they didn’t like what the father did in his time on duty.

But here she was, looking at 26-year-old Scott Tracy, seeing nothing but Jeff again in those piercing blue eyes. The fire and determination of a man who wants nothing more than to save their fellow humans. She looks on with fondness, faint hurt, and confusion. She never expected Jeff to be the one to pass on his characteristics so heavily to his sons. Some hobbies and values, of course, but if Casey didn’t know any better she might have said she traveled back in time itself to watch Jeff try out for the Cadets again.

“Alan! The throttle is not a stick you use to test your wrist dexterity!”

Talking to Jeff’s mother these past few months, however, has led her to believe that there were certain generational practices in the Tracy family she wasn’t aware of. From what she’s seen alone she’s genuinely shocked Jeff never talked more about his mother. Every day she’s been here she has had at least one ah, so that’s where he gets it from moment while watching Mrs. Tracy help teach Alan.

Which was the other elephant in the room.

When Scott and Mrs. Tracy had contacted her with the idea to continue Jeff’s legacy, she had jumped at the chance. What Jeff was pulling off was monumental, and she now regretted being against it at the very beginning, but it was hard for a man to continue his ideas when he was six feet under. That’s why she was genuinely thrilled to see that his family was ready to make sure it didn’t die with him.

But when she got to the island and saw that their not-so-adult brother was also going to be a part of that legacy...

“Scott, I know I seem like a buzzkill with the same question over and over again, but are you sure sending Alan out as an Operative is such a good idea?”

Scott glanced at her from the corner of his eye before looking back at his younger brother with a grin on his face, “I know, Colonel, believe me, I know. All arguments have been put on the table in front of us here, some of us have even flipped sides more than once, but if there’s anything we’ve all agreed on, at the very least, is to let Alan show us himself what he is capable of. We shouldn’t make a decision until all the facts are laid out in front of us, right?”

She could feel the Jeff Tracy dripping off those words at an unhealthy level.

Nonetheless, Jeff was a smart man, and his sons even more so, so she finally elected to concede her worries for now, “Fair enough, we shall wait and see.”

Looking back at the scene before them, she watched as Mrs. Tracy placed a hand on the boy’s shoulder, “Alan, I know you’re just jittery and nervous and laughter is your best way to get it out, but you’re not going to be able to handle it that way in the real rescues. Once you’re out there, there’s going to be a whole lot more pressure than just your grandma and brothers watching you.”

Alan shook his head as he slid the VR device off, using his now free eyes to give the beadiest look possible to his grandma, “I know, I know, it’s just so- to think that this kind of stuff might be real sooner rather than later-”

Grandma patted his back a few times, “Yeah, we get ya honey, but still, the people inside the collapsing satellite aren’t going to want to hear you talk about how cool the rocket is, they’re going to want you to save them before they become deep-fried astronaut.”

Alan nodded while placing the device over his eyes again, “Right, gotta focus, gotta focus!”

Casey turned to watch the screen before Grandma was fully backed away from Alan in the training simulator. With a flick of white, the display was showing yet another asteroid belt. The entire point of these tests was to see Alan’s reaction times and reflexes, as well as the whole ‘how good of a pilot he really was’ thing. It was set up to start right after a few astronauts were saved from a malfunctioning satellite, but right as they were leaving, a dangerous asteroid storm was hitting, and thus to complete the rescue, Alan would need to navigate his way out of it.

Of course, much more training would take place afterward- the etiquette of what to say to the people you were rescuing, how to properly carry unconscious people, where to place your hands on someone who needed the extra support, et cetera- but the main part of Alan’s job as an Operative would be flying a giant red rocket. She could see the merit in testing out that particular skill first.

One could argue that just because Alan couldn’t fly one of the ‘Birds didn’t mean he couldn’t be an Operative on the ground, to which Casey was 87% sure she heard John planning something like that for the youngest if he didn’t do so well in the simulations, but with the whole ‘a square is a rectangle but a rectangle isn’t a square’ idea in mind, if Alan could quite literally pilot a giant red rocket, then they could safely assume he would be able to do many other things.

So far for this run, Alan seemed to be doing quite well. Keeping his rescuees calm when they panicked, reacting right in time to avoid a stray asteroid. The only mildly concerning thing was when a smaller asteroid dinged one of the thrusters of the rocket, causing some turbulence and one of the NPCs to let out a cry in fear. Alan rolled his shoulder with a grin, “Relaaaax, I’m sure that didn’t mean anything. Uh, probably.”

Casey winced, conveniently ignoring the facepalm Scott was making out of the corner of her eye. Aha, teenagers and their occasional lack of brain-to-mouth filter. The whole ‘proper etiquette’ training came back to her mind rather quickly. An issue for a later date.

As the simulation continued, the belt got thicker and thicker, and the controls were shakier and shakier. Gordon, who had apparently come up to stand next to her at some point, had a concerned look on his face, “Is that supposed to happen? The sticks going janky?”

John, who was standing next to Scott (Casey realized she had to have been paying way more attention to Alan’s simulation than she thought if she missed two entire new people in her vicinity), crossed his arms, “Nope, guess that asteroid did a lot more damage than he expected. Let’s see how he handles it.”

The family stood taut as Alan looked around, trying to get a good grasp on everything that was heading his way, judging what kind of moves he would need to take with the faulty thruster now as an obstacle in play. Then, the ending was approaching, a mass of asteroids so large it was almost a wall with how many there were. Casey would later shamefully admit how she squinted her eyes in an attempt to look away from what she assumed would be failure.

Because with a sudden gracefulness Alan must have kept hidden away, he threaded the needle through openings even Scott grimaced at. Still, he kept his voice low as he reassured the NPCs that it was going to be okay, even speeding up a little toward the last little bit so they would be out faster and the fake humans would no longer have to be as worried as they were.

As the rocket’s flight path smoothed out and the YOU FINISHED screen slowly seeped onto the screen, Alan took off his VR device and turned around slowly to stare at his family. He grinned nervously once he noticed how all of them had gaping mouths of various sizes and shock, yes, even Casey. He rubbed the back of his neck, “Um, was that good?”

Good, he asked? It was more than good, he nailed it! Perfectly too!

It’s not that they were expecting Alan to crash and burn (at least, not as the immediate option out of all outcomes), but to see him dodge all of the giant rocks as if he were essentially flying a non-damaged rocket, not even being hit once… Casey would say it was nothing short of literal incredibleness.

Scott was grinning from ear to ear, “Well, I think my vote will be an indefinite ‘yes’ from now on.”

Gordon had his arms up in the air, “Woohoo! Go Alan yeaaah!”

Casey felt her own smile form when she noticed how Alan got bashful at the praise. You would think he would have somewhat of an ego with his eccentric personality, but when push came to shove with the ‘serious’ stuff, he was rather humble at heart. Tracys are the same, Casey thought to herself.

Later, during their downtime, Alan decided to play his handheld device near Casey, partially because his brothers were busy in other parts of the house doing the things they specifically wanted to do for their breaks, but probably also because Alan wanted to let the victory-high dissipate a little before facing them. It made sense; if Scott was as similar to Jeff as Casey pictured, then his smothering instincts had to have been intense, his brothers not far behind. Alan had very valid concern about being overwhelmed by their celebrations.

As Casey looked through files on a borrowed datapad she logged into with her work account, she heard Alan speak from off to her side, “Hey, Aunt Casey?”

She raised an eyebrow in his direction, humming in response yet not looking away from the ridiculous contract they were trying to get her to sign. Seriously, some people just thought they could pull a fast one over her as if she weren’t a highly respected Colonel in the industry, good lord.

It was understood she was listening, though, considering Alan continued onward, “... Do you think I could be as good as them?”

My brothers went unspoken only in words.

Stopping all other thoughts immediately, she abruptly looked down into the bright, blue eyes of the youngest Tracy. It was hard to tell how long they stared at each other in silence, that heavy question needing an even heavier answer to satisfy it. In that moment, she felt the world stop. She saw a lot of things in those eyes: childish naivety, a small fire of an ego just waiting for fuel to be added, but most of all, there was one thing that caught her completely off guard.

She saw Jeff Tracy’s determination shining just as much in Alan as she did in Scott.

Now, she doesn’t like comparing those to their successful family members, but the Tracys had always been a unique type of breed. Jeff always surprised her, and these last few months spent with his family had done even more of that, hell, they’ve practically blown her out of the water altogether.

Taking a deep breath, Casey gave Alan the most genuine smile she could muster, “Yes, Alan, I think you could be even better one day if you put your heart and mind into it.”

The face Alan made would make you think she told him he could be in charge of International Rescue himself. It looked like he was about to say another thing as well, most likely thank her, but a voice shouted from where the bedrooms were located, causing them to look away from one another.

“ALAN! WE TOLD YOU THAT IF YOU WANTED TO TRAIN YOU HAD TO GET ALL YOUR HOMEWORK DONE!”

Casey peeked at him from the corner of her eye to see genuine confusion on his face. He shouted back, “Yeah! I swear I finished all of it!” Alan stood up from his chair and cupped his hands around his mouth like a funnel, his handheld device forgotten on the table, “I wouldn’t lie about that kind of stuff, you know me!”

A brief moment of silence fell over the house before the shouting started up again, “YEAH?! THEN WHAT’S THIS UNFINISHED ESSAY YOU LEFT OPEN ON YOUR COMPUTER?!”

If you were to ask Casey what it felt like in that moment, she would say you could probably feel the air a pin produced when you dropped it. She watched as all the color drained from his face, and before she could give a disappointed glare, Alan practically stumbled and tripped over the chair as he raced to his room, “WAIT! THANK YOU FOR REMINDING ME-” he bumped his knee into the wall and let out a small curse before he continued, his voice getting quieter and quieter as he ran up the stairs, “I KNEW I WAS FORGETTING SOMETHING!”

Casey was left there to stare at nothing and process whatever the hell just happened. It wasn’t too long before she started to chuckle and helped put back the chairs where they belonged. Jeff Tracy’s sons were all fine young men who would go on to do great things in his footsteps, but they were also children first and foremost. Children who have been through things only found in other people’s nightmares.

But they were still family; it was always nice getting reminders of that fact. That despite the things they’ve had to overcome, they’re sticking close together. That they’re still ready to be there for one another in the blink of an eye, and that they still hold that shred of magical innocence where other men and women seem to fail. While Casey has never held it against those men and women, she could hardly blame them for it even, that just makes her pride in the Tracy family even stronger.

She only hoped that the magic lasted as long as it could before the inevitable.

---

Mopierre Compound.

Casey shuddered. There was a reason they shut this place down. She just hoped that Jeff didn’t think too hard about it as well. If she had a kid that was taken here, regardless of whether or not it was inactive or god forbid actually active, she would definitely lose it.

When John contacted her out of the blue with information about the Hood’s whereabouts (how he had Alan for weeks all alone), Casey took zero time in storming out of her office and getting her soldiers up and running to support the Tracys. The Hood had been causing chaos for far too long, and to commit such an action of stealing the youngest Tracy away and doing God knows what to him-

Casey was done being a failure, the Hood was being stopped one way or another tonight.

And stopped he was. Casey couldn’t stop the gasp of shock leaving her lips when she saw Scott limping out of the compound with a beaten-up Hood, Alan trailing ever so slightly behind him somewhat bewildered but also visibly overwhelmed. Whatever must have happened in there shaken him up, badly, and Casey’s heart ached at the thought.

Gordon was off with Virgil making sure his older brother didn’t obtain any kind of concussion from the obvious head injury he was sporting. Kayo was off talking to other soldiers about what to do with Havoc and Fuse, so she was the first to see the eldest and youngest toddle their way out to everyone. She didn’t make a big fuss, just grinned and waited for the others to notice as well. Casey’s best guess was the sister was waiting for them to be situated before throwing even more hecticness in their faces.

“Mr. Tracy! Mr. Tracy!” a soldier shouted out next to her. Casey turned back to see about three Cadets make their way over to the disheveled brothers. So much for Kayo’s attempt at giving them a moment of respite. She was unable to get a word in as the soldiers rushed over to the brothers, two of which grabbed the Hood from Scott with the last one taking the villain’s place in a more supportive position. They were a good distance apart, but Casey could tell that the elder Tracy wasn’t fairing the greatest, and there was much more than the limp to base her assumptions on.

She realized mostly everyone went silent at the Tracys appearing out of nowhere, and wanting to save them from as much scrutiny as possible, “Hey! All of you, get back to your jobs! We’re highly trained government officials on a mission, not tourists exploring a tropical getaway!”

Multiple YES MA’AMs sounded throughout the area, and with a satisfied sigh to herself, Casey felt like she could breathe again. The soldier helping Scott get to the nearest medical staff walked in front of her, the Tracy giving her a grateful nod once she looked him in the eyes. Returning the gesture, she continued watching as they made their way down the hill, Scott being deposited into his family’s waiting arms.

Mainly John and Gordon, though Virgil was quick to show his affection when Scott was shoved to sit down next to him. The brunet seemed to get cold feet once he was situated, like he was nervous to admit he spilled a glass of milk somewhere, and before Casey could even begin to come up with reasons why he looked that way, she noticed a mop of blond out of the corner of her eye.

Quickly turning, she released a huff of air she didn’t even know she had inside herself at the moment, “Oh, Alan, it’s just you. Scared me for a second there.”

Alan had a silver tarp wrapped snugly around his shoulders- shock blanket, most definitely- which glinted in the moonlight as he shrugged them. He stuck his hands out in the part where the two edges were held together and moved his fingers very specifically, Glad to see I still have it in me. I’ll be sure to remember this when I wanna do something similar to Gordon.

Ah, Virgil mentioned Alan was selectively mute as a coping mechanism. And as much as she wanted to joke with him, keep the tone light, she had simply lived too long a life where she didn’t get such pleasures.

Casey flicked her vision back and forth between the Tracy next to her and the Tracys on lower ground, and unsavory taste filling her mouth at the reasons on why Alan wasn’t going to them, “Alan, I don’t mean to make any assumptions, but is there a particular reason you’re choosing to spend your free time with me? Not that I don’t want you to if you want, but-”

Suddenly, a blur shot out from the group down below, John responding to its movements just as quick as it was, “Whoa! Gordon, wait-”

Taking a moment to fully observe the situation, Casey deduced that it was indeed a tense one with the way John was gripping Gordon’s arm. He seemed to be holding the younger brother back from charging over to what appeared to be the vehicle that housed the Hood.

Oh.

John’s rather loose grasp gave Casey the idea that the older brother was struggling on the decision to either let Gordon loose and go ham or stay responsible and make sure he didn’t also land in jail, much to what was probably everyone’s chagrin. Honestly, if Gordon landed in jail that would just give him more prime opportunity to murder the Hood, not that John wasn’t two seconds away from doing that himself, “Gordon, I’m as pissed as you are, but we all need to calm down for Alan-”

“Calm down?! I get told that the bastard five feet away from my fists potentially tortured my little brother and you want me to calm the hell down?!”

Hoo.

Well then.

Casey wasn’t sure where to start with that.

Looking over to her right where Alan was currently standing, tugging the shock blanket around himself ever so slightly tighter, she could tell the youngest Tracy was in the same position. However, he wasn’t tensed up so much as he was forlorn. It’s like he suspected this kind of reaction, and he felt bad for it.

Ugh, the Tracys and their unnecessary guilt complexes. The only thing Casey wished for was that Alan never reached any kind of level compared to his older siblings. She should have expected her wish wouldn’t be granted. You don’t even get small mercies like that in this life.

Blinking a few times, she noticed Alan staring more intently at her, even waving his hand a little bit to get her to notice again, “Yes, Alan?”

Immediately regretting her normally harsh tone of voice after watching Alan flinch a little bit back, she didn’t even have a second to apologize before she recognized the telltale movements of ASL from the boy, Was I… he stopped in thought as if he wanted to find the exact right word to convey his emotions, Right?

Casey was a little lost on what he asked. She cleared her throat, purposefully making sure she dropped the serious commander facade if only for a moment, “I’m sorry, right about what exactly?”

Alan thinned his lips. It seemed he was annoyed he couldn’t come up with the right words. After another few seconds of struggling, he found his footing, Scott was impressed by how I decided to save the Hood despite everything he’s done to us and other people. He wouldn’t shut up the whole time we were together, but I… I just…

He stopped. Casey noticed how his hands were trembling more than they were before, and his eyes were starting to get more and more glazed as if he was back in the action itself. Well, they may call her Aunt for fun, but she was given the title of Godmother for a reason. Placing her hand on his shoulder, she managed to speak in her softest voice yet, “You what, Alan?”

Alan inhaled deeply through his nose before gaining the courage to continue, I didn’t know which was which, and I didn’t want to risk it. I think if I had any kind of confidence, any kind of idea of which Scott was the right one, I wouldn’t have… I don’t think... for a brief second, Alan covered his eyes and rubbed his face in frustration, but before Casey could egg him on again, he ripped the bandaid right off, I wouldn’t have even waited until they were falling before deciding to let him drop! I would have let him die and I wouldn’t have even cared. I care for roadkill I see on the street sometimes more than I would have cared for him!

With his biggest and youngest eyes yet, he looked directly into hers, tears forming, Would that have made me bad instead? I’m I wrong for secretly wanting that? He took a deep breath, finishing his thought once and for all, Does that make me like him?

Morality has never been an easy concept for Casey to grasp, frankly, it’s not easy for anyone on planet Earth to truly decide what was right or wrong for a situation. No matter what you decide, people will think you made the wrong choice. This is especially worse for deaths at the hands of people not authorized to kill anyone. It would seem simple, right? Self-defense is a human right, no one would get angry at you for protecting your family, it should be simple, but alas, it was not.

People will think you used the wrong thing to defend yourself with; people will think that person shouldn’t have killed regardless, whether it was because they believed in upholding certain laws when it came to handling criminals or they just had a stringent ‘no-killing anyone’ policy because that’s what they grew up believing. That’s not even taking into account the supposed killer’s own beliefs on how they want to handle killing someone. Maybe they believed no one should die without the right to a fair trial. It feels like it should be easy, after all, that person killed someone wanting to hurt them, guilt is the last thing that should be on their mind…

But the human mind was a fickle thing, and it’ll feel whatever it wanted to feel, even if we realized it was illogical in hindsight. It was worse for younger people, oh god, was it worse. Casey had watched firsthand what the horrors of war could do to a soldier’s state of being. War itself was already a horribly grey subject, the last thing those people needed were to be cast into a problem that shouldn’t have even involved them.

To see Alan struggle with the concept, to see him struggle over it so personally, when he should be struggling over college and what job opportunities he now had, Casey was very violently reminded of those traumatized soldiers who’d seen things no one should have had to see, and her chest ached. She’d never been the best with cushy-feely-type words, but she told herself that if it came down to it, she wouldn’t mess it up.

By god she swore not to mess this up. Leaving her one hand on his shoulder and taking her other to place it on the still free one, she made sure his full attention was on her, “Alan, I’m going to start this off by saying you are nothing like him.” Alan looked like he wanted to move his hands to argue back, but she kept her ground, “I’m not going to lie and say they aren’t any similarities whatsoever, but that’s because he’s human!” She rushed out before Alan could take it the wrong way, “He was an awful, disgusting, selfish human, but human nonetheless, of course, there might be some overlap. But that means there’s overlap between him and John, even Virgil, hell, even Gordon! Scott broke his arm in pure anger, do you think that makes him as bad as the Hood?”

Alan might as well have broken his neck with how fast he shook it. Good, she was getting through to him, “Okay, so now you see you aren’t some orphan puppy murderer, glad we got that out of the way.” Alan’s silent chuckles led her to believe that he trusted her, and while that gave her some reprieve, this last part was going to be the hardest regardless of how he reacted before, “Now, as for the whole ‘I wanted him dead part’... I don’t think anyone in their right mind would be mad at you for wanting to take out the man who had tortured you consistently. Forgetting how he hurt the rest of your family, how he hurt the rest of humanity, it would be hard to forgive anyone who would be willing to torture an 18-year-old.”

Taking a minute to see how Alan was absorbing her information, she was relieved to see him at least considering it. Taking a deep breath, she had one final thing to say, “Of course, there are going to be people who disagree with what you did, but that will be because of a variety of reasons. Some people have a ‘no civilian can kill’ policy, some people are contrarian for the sole purpose of having a devil’s advocate to keep the debate hot, hell, there might be a very small minority of people who supported the Hood for whatever reason, but Alan… none of those people matter.”

She watched him blink some of the tears out of his eyes in confusion. Chuckling, she finally took her hands away from him and crossed them behind her back in her Colonel Pose, taking in the scene of all of her soldiers diligently completing their duties next to them, “I have worked with countless people dedicated to their work having to fall prey to having to make that split-second decision. Years of watching people make them, having to make them myself, the most valuable thing I have taken away is making sure you, the person in question who had to consider it or even finish it, are okay with it.” With most of her energy out there, she took one of her hands and rubbed the bridge of her nose in exhaustion, “Now, whether you decide you want to figure out why you may feel that way, or you get help in deciding that these thoughts are actually okay will be up to you.”

She looked back at him with a motherly grin, “Not even your brothers can help you decide. They can nudge in a direction, and I think we both know which direction that is, but it is up to you to decide if that direction is right for you. Men have been fighting over this topic since we first became homo sapiens, Alan, and I don’t think we’ll ever come to a unanimous decision, not in my life, not in your life, probably not even in your potential children’s life. That’s why it’s only up to you, okay? If you try and get approval from those around you, it only ends in you being ripped apart in five different directions. Don’t fall prey to humanity’s whims, there’s thousands of them, and most of them are garbage anyway.”

A few more silent chuckles gave her the belief that her work was done, but when she felt a pair of arms rapidly make their way around her shoulders, the wind was knocked out of her sails, so to speak. She looked down to see Alan pressing his face into her shoulder, the blanket now wrapped around both of them. The words he was saying were clear: Thank you.

Casey just sighed and hugged him back, “Now then, I have a feeling a couple of other family members are about to trip over themselves trying to see you.” She gently pushed him away to look him in the eyes, wiping away the dirt on his shoulders from underneath the blanket, “Go enjoy this time, Alan. You’ve all been waiting for this for nearly a decade.”

Alan nodded as he dabbed at his eyes, slowly but surely making his way toward the rest of his family. Casey watched as he almost stumbled like a newborn giraffe toward his older brothers, sort of slipping on the part of the hill that went from diagonal to horizontal, catching their attention. With how high-strung he already seemed to be, Gordon was the first to hop over to Alan and grab him in a hug.

It wasn’t for long, though. John came over to place his hand on their shoulders, probably informing them of the fact that Alan should be checked out by the paramedics as well for safety reasons. With as little separation as possible, they helped their youngest brother over to where Virgil and Scott were sitting, placing him in between the older two. With no hesitation whatsoever, Alan was quick to grab Scott’s hand while laying his head on Virgil’s shoulder. A thought rang in the back of Casey's head on how Alan hadn’t done something like that in quite a while, hmmm.

Casey scanned the surrounding area, noticing that Kayo was now talking with a handcuffed Fuse and Havoc in the back of a vehicle away from the Hood. It was easy to assume that she was informing them about their potential punishments, but the small grin she had on her face said that more than chats about disciplinary action were happening. Didn’t John mention Fuse being the reason they noted this location in the first place? Casey would need to ask more about that later.

Looking around a little bit more, it wasn’t long before she found the head of the Tracy family himself. Jeff seemed to be deep in his own conversation with Lady Penelope, both of them waving their hands around sporadically. What a wake-up call poor Penelope must have received. Hey so we maybe found our missing baby brother in this random location please join the entire GDF in getting over there while he head to it first please and thank youuu.

Soon, Jeff waved at her goodbye, shoving his hands in his pockets as he turned around. As he made his way toward his sons, he looked up a little higher than expected and made eye contact with Casey. So many words needed to be said, so many plans needed to be thought out, but with one glance, the only thing they realized they needed to do at this moment was smile at each other. It wouldn’t solve everything right away, but for just a moment, it was enough.

Jeff was just as readable as he always had been. Thank you. Thank you for everything. For being there when I couldn’t.

Casey had hoped she was too. Of course, it was the least I could do for you and your family after everything they’ve done. For me, as well as everyone else.

Of course, they would need to talk more. About the future of IR, about Fuse and Havoc’s futures, of Hood’s containment, of how their family would move forward, hell, ignoring all of that, Casey still wanted to just verbally talk with the man. They were close friends, she wanted to catch up with him out of pure want to keep their relationship alive now that he was as well.

But that was a future problem. After all, Jeff finally had all of his sons in his grasp for once, he deserved a moment with them. Plus, she was too busy watching the sunrise over the horizon of the ocean to join him anyway.

For the first time in a near-decade, things felt like they were truly looking up.

[shirtlesssammy]

Hello, Cruel World: 7x02 Recap

Then:

Castiel accidentally swallowed some Leviathan

Now:

Things pick up right where 7x01 left off. Cas is gone, and his vessel is oozing more goo than normal.

He wanders off, leaving Bobby and Dean stunned. Sam, meanwhile, is 100% fruitbat, getting tortured by Lucifer. Dean and Bobby save him from his hallucinations, and all three head out in search of Leviathan!Cas.

Cas, now even more gooey than ever, heads for the water. The others reach the water’s edge just as he descends into the lake, like some sadistic baptism, turning into a vortex of black goo.

o_O uh, no thank you o_O

The good news? The leviathan exploded in in a reservoir that’s connected to the public water supply! Yay!

Dean then notices Cas’s trench coat in the water, and fishes it out.

He gently folds it, holding it close to his body, caressing it with all the pain of loss and words left unsaid (Ha, Boris can’t write. I leave that heavy lifting to the very talented Natasha.) (Natasha: just key smashes in pain.) Long story short: Dean holds that coat like the last memento of a dead loved one, because it is. Bobby and Sam both watch Dean with eagle eyes, and it’s sad. I couldn’t really see through all the water on my face though. Also, when he squeezes the coat briefly before the camera cuts away? Guh.

Sidenote: I can’t imagine being in the fandom this season!! Like, Cas was supposed to be dead, like dead-dead, like really, really, ‘Jared didn’t spoil this one’ dead. Dark times. (Natasha: I wasn’t in fandom but was watching live since season 5. I never believed he was truly dead so I believe I wasn’t terribly bothered. My heart is a lump of granite.)

And the leviathan make their grand entrance into society via a montage set to the Doobie Brothers’ “Black Water”....a little too on the nose show, but I like it.

Back at Bobby’s, Dean turns to what he does best: looking after Sammy. He makes him hydrate and protein-ate, and he checks his stitched up hand.

I’m a shallow son of a bitch, but concerned Dean lit like this is A+ aesthetic.

Sam confesses that he’s not doing well --he can’t tell what’s reality anymore. As Dean tries to wrap his brain around what Sam is going through, we get a better glimpse of Lucifer’s fun torture time for Sam. After all, “You can’t torture someone who has nothing left for you to take away.”

Meanwhile, girl!Leviathan finds an episode of Dr. Sexy and decides she wants to be a doctor when she grows up.

Bobby checks in with Dean on how he’s holding up. (Caring Dad feels everywhere!) Dean deflects.

Bobby calls out Dean with, “You just lost one of the best friends you ever had, your brother’s in the bell jar, and Purgatory’s most wanted are surfing the sewer lines, but yeah, yeah, I get it. You’re – you're fine.” (Their little exchange of yoga and idjit, and their mutual little smiles is just beautiful. #bringbackbobby)

At Stockville High School, the swim team gets a surprise visit from a couple bloodthirsty purgatory monsters.

At Sioux Falls General Hospital, our very own Jody Mills is experiencing her own special kind of torture. While recovering from an appendicitis, she listens to her roommate drone on and on about dubious hospital practices. Dr. Sexy checks in with our favorite sheriff.

Back at Bobby’s, Sam caught the swim team case. Bobby and Sam convince Dean to check it out.

girl!Leviathan and Edgar (listen, I didn’t explain his entrance, but 6 years on, we know who I’m talking about) meet at a playground(!) and talk about the swim team attack. Apparently it was a bit unsightly, but the girl!Leviathan has an idea. Cut to the hospital. Dr. Sexy finds her and she makes quick work of turning into him. Kids grow up so fast these days.

At the high school, Agent Dean notices black goo and instantly knows what he’s dealing with.

Back at the hospital, Jody wakes to see Dr. Sexy secret off with her roommate. I think she’s starting to suspect her doctor is a monster.

She sets to checkout what fresh hell awaits her in her small hell-mouth town.

Dean checks in with Sam (and Lucifer) about the swim team. Goo? Check. Dean asks Sam how he’s doing. Aagh. Spoiler: He’s not doing ok.

Hopped up on gooooood pain meds, Jody continues to track her doctor, but when she sees him play a particular nasty game of Operation by eating her roommate’s liver, she runs, and faints in the hallway.

Jody wakes up in her hospital bed to the ministrations of her nurse. She sputters, starting to ask about Doctor Gaines, when he swans in, patting the corner of his mouth delicately. She quickly spins a lie about itching stitches and searching for a doctor to explain her presence in the hall. Doctor Sexy Leviathan leers at her. The moment they leave she rips out her IV and mutters “Kiss my ass, Doctor Monsterface.” Jody. Never change.

Meanwhile, Sam’s still trying to out-logic his hallucinations. If this is a dream, Lucifer should prove it by showing him the cage. Lucifer tells him that the Matrix only ends when Sam ends it...like ENDS it, ends it. Sam shouts at Lucifer to shut up, which really bolsters his narrative of doing fine when Bobby walks in. “You’ve beat the devil before, kid,” Bobby tells Sam. Lucifer, meanwhile, stabs Bobby in the chest. Not distracting at all.

Jody calls Bobby and tells him that her surgeon is a monster who ate another patient’s liver. “You and I killed zombies that one time,” she reminds him. He can help her. Bobby rolls out to help her leaving delicate flower Sam behind to man the phones.

At the hospital two swim team members and Edgar meet up with Doctor Gaines. Leviathan!Gaines gives them a tour of the facility. They can eat someone every day here since people die in hospitals all the time. The swim team members jump ship and become hospital staff, preparing to feast. Edgar moves on. He’s got other fish to fry.

Sam continues to clean guns when Dean pulls up. Dean grabs the open beer from Sam’s hand (DEAN) and fills Sam in on the status of the hunt. Dean demands Sam’s help while Bobby goes off to save Jody Mills.

Bobby wheels Jody out of the hospital and shuttles her away into a taxi. (After which, I am sad to report, we don’t see her for the whole rest of the episode.) Bobby then heads into the hospital to investigate the leviathreat level. He finds patients rushed immediately from botched minor surgeries to the autopsy table - a.k.a. lunch counter.

Meanwhile, Dean and Sam drive to the hunt, Dean asking after Sam’s welfare. Dean suggests professional help even though, “You are never gonna be okay, Sam.” </heart breaks> Not the kind of BM scenes we like to watch, dudes.

While Sam’s having his heart ripped out in the Impala, the real Dean arrives back at Bobby’s, calling for Sam. Oh thank god. Dean Bean may be going through a long dark teatime of the soul but he’s not so dark that he’s hurting Sammy. Sam is, of course, gone.

Sam and “Dean” arrive at a corporate building where fake Dean scoffs at Sam’s ability to deal. “You think this is an office building, right?” he asks, leading Sam into a nearly empty warehouse instead.

Fake Dean chuckles, then turns into Lucifer. Lucifer tries to goad Sam into killing himself to end the hallucination (always, btw, the most horrifying part of the djinn narrative).

Back at the hospital, Bobby falls into a big pile of nope when he’s interrupted by Doctor Gaines. The leviathan immediately recognizes Bobby - he saw him through the angel’s eyes. (MY HEART) Bobby tries to shoot up the doctor but only explodes his head into recombining goo. It’s enough to let him escape.

The real Dean pulls up outside of the warehouse he tracked Sam to and opens the door. Lucifer turns into a second Dean and Sam immediately trains his gun on the real Dean.

Dean talks Sam down. He reminds Sam that he’s been to Hell. Torture feels different than the pain of the real world. He pulls up Sam’s hand and presses the wound hard. Lucifer begins to flicker. Sam pushes the wound hard enough to make it bleed. “You’ve gotta believe me,” Dean tells him. “You gotta make it stone number one and build on it, do you understand?” Sam nods, still reeling from the experience.

The phone rings. It’s Bobby. He fills them in on Doctor Gaines and the leviathan threat and the boys head back to Bobby’s lot. They’re gonna be okay… And then they get to Bobby’s house. It’s been torched. Nothing but burned books (CRETINS) and no sign of Bobby. They split up to search the junk yard. Dean dials Bobby’s “direct hotline you should not have this number” phone and leaves the following totally okay not at all unraveling voicemail:

“You can not be in that crater back there. I can’t-- If you’re gone, I swear I’m going to strap my beautiful mind brother into the car and I’m gonna drive us off the pier. You asked me how I was doing? Well NOT GOOD. You said you’d be here. Where are you?”

Dean Bean.

Sam and Dean call for Bobby in the junkyard. Sam finds Edgar and Dean shoots Edgar’s head full of lead (but it doesn’t last long for those shifty little guys). Dean drops a car on Edgar just after Sam gets knocked out by a tire iron. Dean’s got a broken leg, an unconscious brother, a dead best friend, and - you know - suicidal thoughts. So season 7 is starting out super great.

Dean calls an ambulance which takes the brothers to - you guessed it - Sioux Falls General. Extra bonus, Lucifer shows up for the ride.

Back at Bobby’s lot, Edgar recombines...

Mississippi Quotes, Won't You Keep on Shinin' on Me?

Why would the devil holodeck you a whole new life when he could just kick your ass all over the cage?

I keep my marbles in a locked friggin’ box.

What am I chopped brains on toast?

We’ve got a whole lot of NC17 Schizz-nickel right over there.

Having a little bag lady moment?

Bobby Singer. My hero.

This discussion does not require a weapon’s discharge.

It’s like a salad, but with pie!

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