#if i am ever to stop being a solitary fish you'd have to drop me somewhere vastly different than a school | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

szampers · 8 months ago

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personal notes from before the szpd epiphany nr. 3. More info in tags

Actually. I am the social nightmare

I really can't tell whether I'm a solitary animal by nature or by nurture. Both probably. Putting someone like me in a school environment is like forcing a fish to live on land. i may have changed schools for the better but this is only making it clear that I've always been like this. A solitary fish.

I guess the appeal in typing is that you get to connect with someone while being alone at the same time, and your thoughts get displayed right in front of you. It feels more precise

#the name solitary fish has stuck around. a fish forced to live on land and failing pretty miserably at that #it is insufferable to be forced to spend time in environments where people interaction is happening all around you #i used to think a change of environment would help be become more open. can't say i was more open than i ever was !!#at its core both environments are still the same. only different people.#only good thing is that i no longer have to see certain people who i can't stand ! that's one weight taken off #if i am ever to stop being a solitary fish you'd have to drop me somewhere vastly different than a school #but texting on the other hand? that is wonderful #i prefer connecting to people through texting much better than through in person #hands down.#schizoid #szpd #schizoid personality disorder #rambling

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