#if humans hibernated we would procrastinate it or put it off for work like we do with normal sleep

[ghosts-to-reid]

Our Last Summer (4)

Summary: The Losers come face to face with Pennywise.

A/N: I’m so sorry for not uploading, school started again and i’m currently procrastinating revising RE. I’ve been writing this for a week and its shitty im sorry.

(PART 1) (PART 2) (PART 3)

The Losers had gathered at the fair. You were all stood in an alley way looking at the missing kids posters, which had began to stack on the wall. Knowing that the posters were now stacking made you feel physically sick. The most recent poster had the name ‘Edward Corcoran’, plastered in bold on the front.

“They’re saying they found his arm all chewed up by the stand pipe.”

“He asked to borrow a pencil once.”

Bill stepped forward and flicked through the missing kids posters.

“It’s like when a new kid goes missing, the rest are forgotten.” You muttered

“Is it ever gonna end?” Stan said from beside you

“What are you talking about?” Eddie asked as he passed Richie an ice cream cone

“What they always talk about.” Richie scoffed, as he took the cone.

“I actually think it will end, At least for a little while.” Ben said, you all turned to him.

“What do you mean?” Bev asked

“I was going over all my Derry research and charted all the big events. The iron works explosion in 08, The Bradley gang in ‘35, and the blackspot in ‘62, and now all the missing kids... This stuff happens every 27 years.”

It was a little while later and you were all now sat on some benches in the park, all around the kids played and watched whatever was happening on the stage behind you all. You sat with you legs crossed and your head resting on your arm as you listened to them all talk.

“So let me get this straight... It comes out from wherever, eats kids and goes back into hibernation?” 

“Maybe its like... Cicadas? They come out every 17 years.” Stan spoke with a small shrug. Mike shook his head.

“My grandfather things this town is cursed. He says that all the bad things that happen in this town are because of one thing. One evil thing that feeds off the people of Derry.” Mike looked down at his hands

“It can’t be one thing, we all saw something different.” Stan said

“Or maybe IT knows what scares us the most and that’s what we see?” 

“I saw a leper, it was like a walking infection.” Eddie’s voice shook slightly. You thought to what you saw

“I saw Betty Ripsom in the woods, I was definitely not afraid of her.” You rolled your eyes slightly.

“But you didn’t. Because none of its real. Not Eddies Leper, Or Y/N seeing Betty, Or Bill seeing Georgie, Or the woman i keep seeing-”

“Is she hot?” Richie interrupted which gained a small groan from you

“No Richie. She’s not hot. Her face... its all messed up. None of this makes any sense. They’re all like bad dreams” Stan ranted 

“No they’re not i know the difference between a dream and reality, if it was a dream, how do you explain Y/N’s scratches huh?”

“What did you see? Did you see something too?” Eddie asked Mike.

“Yes. You know that burnt down house of Herrace avenue? I was inside when it burnt down. Before i was rescued, my mum and dad were trapped inside the next room. They kept trying to get to me. But it was too hot. When the fireman finally found them... The skin on their heads had melted down to the bone.” Mike’s lip quivered. You gave him a look of sympathy. “We’re all afraid of something.”

“You got that right.” Richie scoffed.

“What are you afraid of then?” You asked, He paused before replying.

“Clowns.”

The next day you all rode your bikes over to Bill’s house, and gathered in his garage. You helped Bill hang up a poster of Derry’s sewer system on the wall. The group gathered around the projector and looked at the wall, Bill  flicked on the projector and the town map appeared over the map of the sewers.

“Look.” Bill pointed the poster “Its where G-Georgie d-disappeared. There’s the iron works, and the black spot. Everywhere it happens, its all tied by the sewers. And they all meet up at the-”

“The well house.” Ben interrupted. You could feel your stomach sink as you could recall the story Ben had told you all at his house. 

“It’s in the house on Neibolt street.” You said quietly

“That creepy ass house where all the crackheads and hobos sleep?” Richie asked just as Eddie took out his inhaler.

“I hate that place, it always looks like its watching me.” Bev shivered 

“That’s where i saw it. That’s where i saw the clown.” Eddie wheezed 

“T-that where i-it lives.”

“I can’t imagine anything wanting to live there.” Eddie shot up from his seat and stood in front of the group

“Can we stop talking about this? I-I can barley breath! It’s summer! We’re kids! I-I’m having a fucking Asthma attack! I’m not doing this!” Eddie shouted before ripping the poster off the wall

“What the hell! Put the map back!” Bill shouted the Eddie, just as he finished the projector started the flip through the pictures on its own. your breath hitched in your throat, pictures of Bill’s family began to project onto the walls, pictures of his mum, dad, him... and Georgie,

“Whats happening?” You stood up with wide eyes. Mike tried to fix the projector but the pictures just kept changing, Until it got to a slide of Bill’s parents with Georgie, His mum’s face was covered by a messy mass of ginger hair. The slides began to change again, this time more rapid. Instead of the pictures changing it stayed on the same picture, just zooming in on Bill’s mother, it sped up until it began to look like a moving picture. The hair began flowing and it revealed a clowns face, smiling sickly at you all. You screamed and everyone around you began to stand. You could feel your breathing increase, Richie was shouting and so was Eddie.

“Turn it off! Turn it off!” Bev shouted, and Mike kicked it over, though that didn’t do anything. The projector just continued to click. It projected another image of the clown onto the wall, where Stan stood. It continued to do so until the image was empty. You held your breath unknowingly. The projector clicked one one time before the clown came to life and jumped out of the wall. You screamed again and backed against a wall, vaguely aware of everyone around you shouting to Stan. The lights flashed on and off as the clown crawled across the garage, trapping Bev against the wall. You snapped out of whatever trance you were in and ran over to the garage door and pulled it open, light began flooding in and the clown was gone. Bev staggered over to you and thanked you before going to hug Bill.

“What the fuck was that?” You asked, wheezing slightly

“It saw us! IT knows where we are!” Eddie shouted

“It always did.” Bill muttered as he walked out of the garage and into the bright day light. “Let’s go.”

“Go where?” You asked, a puzzled look on your face.

“Neibolt. That’s where G-Georgie is.” Bill looked determined.

“After that? Are you crazy?” Stan shouted

“Yeah its summer. We should be outside.” Richie murmured.

“If you say its S-Summer one more f-fucking t-time,” Bill said angrily as he grabbed Silver, and rode away. Leaving the rest of you.

“Bill! Wait/2 Bev shouted after him but he simply ignored her and continued on. 

“We should go after him. Come on.” You said as you walked over to your bike and climbed onto it, Bev followed and so did the rest, albeit reluctantly.

“Bill!” Bev shouted to him, h was stood in front of the Neibolt house’s doors. “Bill you can’t go in there! This is Crazy!”

Bill stood his ground in front of the group, a determined look on his face.

“Look! You don’t have to come with me. But what happens when another Georgie goes missing? Or another Betty? Or another Ed Corcoron? Or one of us? Are you gonna pretend that it isn’t happening like the rest of the people in this town? Because i can’t. I go home and see that Georgie isn’t there. His clothes, his toys, his stupid stuffed animals but.... He isn’t. So walking into this house, for me... It’s easier than walking into my own.”

“Wow.” You glanced at Richie who was stood beside you.

“What?” Bev asked

“He didn’t stutter once.” Richie said before walking up the porch stairs of Neibolt. The rest of you began to follow, but were stopped by Stan.

“Wait! Shouldn’t we have people keep watch?” He asked. You could tell he was terrified to even be stood in the house’s garden. “You know, just in case something bad happens?” 

“Who wants to stay out here?” Bill asked, everyone except you, Bev, and Bill raised their arms. 

“You guys are wimps.” You sighed.

“Fuck.”

In the end, the group decided to draw straws. Bill, Eddie, and Richie were the ones that ended up going inside. You, Bev, Ben, Mike and Stan stood outside, staring at the house.

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this Bevvie.” Bev looked over to you and put her hand on your shoulder. 

“They’ll be fine...” She muttered, but her tone sounded as if she was trying to convince herself that they would. 

Behind you Stan had began crying, You turned around and walked over to him.

“I can’t go in that house Mike. I can’t.” He sobbed quietly. You felt your heart drop, you looked over to mike who had the same sad look in his eyes. He put his arms around you both and you leaned into Mikes side.

After a few moments of being stood like that, crashing and screaming could be heard inside the house. All of you jumped and looked at each other.

“We gotta get inside. They might be in danger.” You said to them, Bev nodded in agreement.

“Shouldn’t we get somehelp? Like an adult?” Mike asked, fear evident in his voice.

“Adults are the ones ignoring this shit. We’ve got to go in before its too late!” You shouted, Bev looked around the garden and picked up a bit of fence that had broken off.

“Come on.” She said before running into the house, you ran after her and so did the others. 

The five of you followed the sound of voices into what you assumed was the kitchen. You got there in the nick of time, The clown was running over to Richie in Bill but Bev quickly impaled it through the head. Your hands went to cover your mouth as you screamed, its face was distorted and the blood didn’t drip or flow like a humans... It just floated. 

“Get Eddie!” Someone shouted but you couldn’t move. You were frozen in fear. You just stared at the clown, your breathing heavy. The rest of the losers were screaming, trying to help Eddie up, but all you could do was watch the creature in horror. Its hand became distorted and turned to talons. It stepped forward and screamed, making the others scream too. It laughed a twisted laugh before turning and slashing its talons on you and Ben. It slashed Ben’s stomach and Grazed the top of your thigh, That’s when you snapped out of your trance. Pain took over your leg and you bucked over, letting out a whimper of pain. Your leg felt like it was on fire, white hot pain shot through your leg as you tried to stand to escape. Your breathing was rapid as you could feel hot tears racing down your face.

“Don’t let him get away!” Bill said, strangly calm as he got up and followed IT. 

“Bill! We have to help Eddie!” Richie shouted “I’m gonna snap your arm back into place!”

“Don’t you fucking touch me!” Eddie shouted, holding his arm away from Richie, which became evidently futile as Richie grabbed it and snapped it back with a sickening crack. Eddie screamed out in pain. 

The group began to run out of the house. Richie and Bill helping Eddie as you tried to support your weight. You screamed in pain as you fell over.

“Guys! I can’t walk!” You screamed, Bev ran over to you and helped you up, she supported most of your weight as you ran to the door as fast as you could. Bev helped you down the stairs. Richie held his bike up and helped Bev get you onto the back. He quickly peddled away , as he did you risked a glance at your leg. The flesh was ripped open and blood stained your shorts. You let out a whimper as you felt tears flow down your face again.

“You! You did this!” Eddies mum pointed an acussing finger at you all, as she grabbed him roughly and threw him into the car. 

“W-w-we were atacked M-Mrs. K-”

“No! Don’t!” She shouted, silencing Bill “Don’t try and blame anyone else.” She shouted. She began to fumble with her keys, dropping them on the ground.

“Let me help-” Bev began to bend down to grab her keys for here but was silenced by Eddies mum

“Don’t! Get back!” She said as she bent down, with obvious difficulty. “I know what they say about you miss marsh. And you (L/N) and i don’t want dirty girls like you toughing my son.” She got close to your faces, you leaned back. Richie, who was helping you stand and keep steady, frowned at her words. She began to walk back to her car, with a few more insults to you all, she got into the car and drove off, Eddie looked through the window at you all with a frown as she drove away. The group walked into the road and watched them drive off. 

“I saw the Well. I k-know where IT is. A-And next time w-we’ll be more p-prepared.” Bill stuttered as he turned to the group. The idea of returning to that place made you sick to your stomach.

“No! There will be no next time Bill!” Stan shouted, he looked near enough to tears again. “You’re insane!”

“Why? We all know no one else is gonna do anything.” Bev sighed 

“Eddie was almost killed! Y/N can barley walk! And this mother fucker is leaking hamburger helper!” Richie shouted, He used his free arm to motion at Ben, who stood with his hand on his wound.

“We can’t pretend it’s gonna go away!” Bev shouted, You had never seen her more determined. “Ben you said it yourself it comes back every 27 years.”

“Fine! I’ll be 40 and far away from here.” Ben frowned. “I thought you wanted to get out of this town too.”

“because i want to run towards something. Not away.”

“I’m sorry but who invited Molly Ringwald into the group?” Richie shouted, you gave him a little push. “I’m just saying! Lets face facts! Georgie is dead stop trying to get us killed too!”

“T-Take that B-Back.” Bill growled. Richie pushed you away, Stan grabbed you before you could fall over. 

“Richie-!” You began, but before you could finish, Bill and Richie began to fight. 

“Guys stop it!” 

“This isn’t going to solve anything!”

“Stop it!”

Richie got pushed to the floor and you and Stan held him back and Ben and Mike held Bill back

“You’re just a bunch of fucking losers! Stop!” Richie shouted as he puched you and Stan away. 

“This is what IT wants. It wants to divide us! We were all together when we hurt it. That’s why we’re still alive!” Bev shouted.

“Yeah? Well i plan to keep it that way.” Richie shouted as he walked towards his Bike, Shoving Bill. Stan, Mike and Ben followed. Yous stood rooted in the ground and Bev turned to you.

“Y/N-” she started but you shook your head.

“I can’t do this Bevvie. I’m sorry.” You muttered, frowning at her. You hobbled over to Stan who helped you onto the back of his bike. You looked back at Bev and Bill as you rode away. You felt guilty for leaving Bev like that, she was spur best friend. But, you couldn’t do this. Not after what had just happened.

It had been a week since after the incident at Neibolt and you still hadn't spoken to Bev. You ignored all her phone calls, asked your mum to say you were out if she came to your house, You even hid behind dumpsters if you saw her in public. Your mum had almost fainted when she saw your leg, Stan had ridden you home that night, helping you to your house. He even helped calm your mother, coming up with an excuse.

“Y/N where have you been- Oh dear god what happened to your leg!” Your mother shrieked. Your arm was around Stans shoulders as you stood at the door. Your mother stepped out of the way and let Stan walk you inside and sit you on a chair in the hall way.

“It was a dog. A big dog came out of nowhere while we were in the woods today. It jumped on her, but i managed t get it away, but i was a bit to late.” He rushed out

“Thank you, young man. Oh dear God we have to get you to A&E.” she sounded hysterical. She put your arm around her shoulder and stood you up, She grabbed her keys from the table and walked out of the door. Stan followed behind and closed the door. Your mother shoved you into the car and shut the door. 

“Do you need a ride, young man?” She asked Stan. He shook his head, and got onto his Bike. You watched him ride off down your street as your mother started the car.

After that, it was you, Stan and Richie. It was weird at first but you soon grew close to them. It was hard not to after the indecent. You found yourself sat in Stan’s Bar Mitzvah, next to Richie. You sat in a state of entertained shock as you listened to his speech. You couldn’t help but laugh quietly to yourself as Richie stood up, applauding him.

A few days after Stan’s Bar Mitzvah, you were left home alone. Your leg had healed enough that you were no longer in pain when you walked on it. You were sat at the kitchen table, finishing your summer homework when the doorbell rang. You looked up and glanced to your mum.

“Go and answer the door sweetie. I’m a bit busy right now.” She said as she took the laundry out of the washing machine. You sighed as you stood up and walked to the door, not evening looking through the glass at who it was. There stood Bev, an apologetic look on her face. You frowned at her.

“What do you want?” You asked

“Y/N listen, I need to talk to you. I want to apologise for what happened. I shouldn't have tried to push you like that, it’s my fault you’re injured. Please forgive me?” Her voice was sad, you could tell she was truly sorry.

“There’s no need to apologise Bev. It’s not your fault im injured, that’s all me. I was... Paralysed. I couldn’t move at all. That’s why i’m injured.” You gave her a small smile “Do you maybe wanna catch a movie? I heard that that new Nightmare On Elm Street was pretty good.” Bev laughed lightly and you both shared a smile

“Sure. I’D like that.”

Tag list: @sound-board-controls @its-called-being-spontaneous @veryweirdintrovert @heartless--girls @aritzapander @holycoldcoffee @michi-bruh @funelatra

(ones in italic are those who i couldn’t tag)

[themanuelruello]

How to Set Homestead Goals You’ll Actually Achieve

I currently can’t breathe when I walk outside…

That’s what below zero temps and crazy wind chills will do to ya.

Thankfully, even though the outside portions of our homestead are deep in hibernation at the moment, I have plenty to work on inside.

When I recently mentioned some of my favorite end-of-the-year rituals on Instagram, it prompted some interesting discussions around the things we do to set ourselves up for another 365-day stretch.

If you’ve ever struggled to set goals (that actually happen) for your homestead or future homestead, I made a video just for you.

We’ve been homesteading for almost a decade now, setting lots of goals, doing lots of projects, and have definitely figured out what does and doesn’t work. In this video, I’m sharing my best tips and practices that I use every single year to make sure our homestead goals turn into reality.

How to Set Homestead Goals You’ll Actually Achieve

(Keep scrolling if you prefer the written transcript version instead of the video!)

1. Keep Your Goal List Manageable (aka Don’t Go Crazy)

Don’t get me wrong: I love audacious goals, and dreams and big thinking, and we’ve been known to do some pretty crazy stuff, but I also know from personal experience that putting too many goals, or goals that are too big, on your list can not only cause you to feel scattered and overwhelmed, but can also cause you to feel really frustrated when you’ve been working your butt off, and then, only find yourself a quarter of the way through your list.

Make sure you have some quick wins built into your goal list so you can really feel that sense of accomplishment, which at least for me, is the very best motivator to keep going. The definition of manageable will really differ from person to person, but for us, I found it works best to break up our yearly goals into four different categories, and then, pick three to five specific goals, more than that in a minute, for each category. The specific categories that I like to set goals in are:

Family and Personal

Our Homestead

Our Blog/Online Business

Our doTERRA Business

The exact number of goals YOU set will depend on your situation, and it’s totally okay to go lighter in one area so you can focus elsewhere. We’ve done that many times.

The yard project that almost killed us.

Example: Last year I put way too many projects on our homesteading category of goals, and then come June when we were knee-deep in the middle of a huge yard remodel, and it was kicking our butt, and I realized it was gonna take the majority of our summer and the other things weren’t going to happen, I was really, really frustrated.

To remedy that from happening this year, I’m writing down a much more realistic list that I will be plugging into the calendar ahead of time so I know exactly how many months, or weeks, or whatever I have partitioned off for each homestead project.

2. Don’t Forget to Push Yourself (Great Things Never Came from Comfort Zones)

If a goal feels super safe, and comfortable, it’s probably not gonna be enough to really create the growth that you need. My rule of thumb is to keep expanding a goal until you feel a flutter of butterflies in your stomach. That’s usually a good sign that it’s enough to push me out of my comfort zone to get the development and growth that I’m looking for personally throughout that goal process.

3. Make Your Goals Specific and Measurable.

I’m guessing you’ve heard this one before, but it really is crucial– I promise. Vagueness in setting goals is not your friend. It might feel more comfortable at first to have a broad target to aim at, but what you’re really doing is giving your brain just a million ways to skirt around doing the work, and that will absolutely prevent you from taking a hold of that goal, and making it come alive.

Measurable just means that you’ll have a clear marker to know when that goal has been reached. It’s really easy to write something like cook more on your list, but what does that really mean? And, you need to break that down.

In order to set yourself up for the maximum success, clearly define each goal to make it attainable for your situation. Rather than putting “cook more this year” on your list, try putting down specific action items such as “bake a loaf of bread each week”, or “learn how to make homemade broth.”

Do you see how the first goal felt really lifeless and vague, but the second one felt more alive with purpose and meaning? That’s exactly the same sort of feel that you’ll want to create in your own homestead goals for this year.

4. Write, Date, and Tell!

Every time I say this, someone argues with me, and says, “I don’t like writing goals down. That’s not how my brain works. I like to go on spur of the moment. It feels just scary.”

I get it–promise! But if you’re really serious about making your goals a reality, you’ve gotta get serious enough to write them down and give them a due date. There is something just magical about putting something on paper. I don’t know what it is, but it works.

It’s crucial to assign a date to your goal, and it doesn’t have to be a super tight deadline, but the human brain takes action the best when there’s an element of urgency, or some sort of date attached. Also, when you speak your goals out loud, it gets it out there in the universe, and not only can the person you’re telling help to hold you accountable, but when it comes out of your lips, you tend to take it more seriously as well.

5. Break it Down, Then START.

Even if you set the very best goals in the world, and spend all sorts of time making them just right, none of them will work unless you put this next tip into action immediately. You gotta start, and yes, it’s usually the hardest, and I wish I could tell you some magical tool, or secret sauce that would make starting just as easy as pie, but guess what? If it was easy, then everyone would do it, and they don’t. Do they? But, you will.

My best tip here is to START FAST. Do it before your brain can talk you out of it, and have all those excuses bubbled to the surface. It is the hardest part, but once you get that momentum going I promise it gets easier and easier. I still struggle with this, a blank page, an empty piece of bare dirt, a barren garden plot.

They all tend to make me feel a little bit stressed, and a little bit paralyzed. It’s really normal. What I’ve learned to do is to never demand any sort of perfection from myself on Day One. The mission on the first day is to simply get something, anything started.

I might hammer some words out on paper without punctuation, or spelling just to get it out of my brain.

I might map the garden out on paper, and then, get my first round of seeds ordered.

I might research the materials I need for our next building project, and then, put them on a supply list, or maybe even call the building store, and get them shipped and coming my way.

(That time we ripped down a million old pheasant pens on our property)

The first step does not have to be epic, or magical, or special, or perfect. It just has to be something. If you do something on day one, when you come back on the subsequent days, you’ll find it gets easier and easier.

Lastly, remember: it’s okay to be flexible in your goals. Sometimes plans shift and change, and you gotta give yourself some grace. There has been many years where our epic list of projects just didn’t happen the way I wanted to, and I had to be okay with it. The only thing is, promise me that you’ll be honest with yourself, and know the difference between procrastination, and just flexibility, because there is a difference.

A Few of Our Personal Homestead Goals for 2019:

ONE: Redoing our pens and corrals. Our homestead theme for this year is refinement. We’ve done a lot of construction, a lot of building, a lot of creating, and some of those systems worked really good when we first put them in 8 or 10 years ago, but they’ve stopped being efficient and productive, and so, we’re going back into some of those places that we built awhile back, and making them better.

The first element of that is our pens and corrals. We have a cattle chute and a few alleyways, but when we built them, we didn’t understand how the cattle would best flow, or the most efficient way to work them. The plan is to redo all of our cattle handling facilities this year so they’re safer and more efficient.

TWO:Building a Milking Parlor 

I’ve milked out in the open barn on the cement pad for a long time. It worked fine at the beginning, but I’m ready for a more efficient system. I’m tired of dealing with mud, or a big sloppy pile of manure, or the horses chasing the cow around every time I try to milk. It’s just not working anymore.

I’m ready for a designated milking area that I can keep more sanitary and organized. I need a place where I don’t to wrestle manure or the other animals, or whatever.

We have a few other areas of the homestead that we’re working on improving and refining this year, but we’re keeping things fairly simple as compared to some years in the past, since we have some other projects in the works that will benefit YOU…

…Like our very first cookbook which launches in April and makes me so giddy that I’m almost speechless. There will be many sneak peaks and LOTS of bonuses and freebies coming along with its official launch, but for now here’s a sneak peek of the cover.

Alrighty my friends: your turn! What homestead goal are you most excited for in the coming year?

The post How to Set Homestead Goals You’ll Actually Achieve appeared first on The Prairie Homestead.

from Gardening https://www.theprairiehomestead.com/2019/01/set-homestead-goals.html via http://www.rssmix.com/

[mavwrekmarketing]

Sheila Ferguson made her name singing in The Three Degrees in the 60s and 70s. She’s one of eight famous people who went to Kerala to film the TV programme The Real Marigold Hotel, which is designed to make people think about growing old in India. She says the experience completely changed her life.

I went to India as a sceptic. I’d never been there before. I did some research, saw that they’ve got arranged marriages, they’ve got snakes, they’ve got mosquitoes and I thought, “What the hell do I want to go to India for?”

But I believe in the philosophy that you should try everything once, to see if you like it. So I found myself in Kerala riding sleeper trains – which I will never do again as long as I live – and living in a communal home with seven other OAPs. I got more than I bargained for.

The first thing that struck me was how busy it was. The city was crowded and smelly but there wasn’t as much poverty as I expected from watching the film Ghandi! It turns out that Kerala is one of the richest states on the subcontinent. When we first got there I was behaving like the problem child, I was a real handful. I even asked Bill to swap rooms and he was gentleman enough to agree.

Image copyright Getty Images

Image caption The Three Degrees in 1974 – Sheila Ferguson with Valerie Holiday and Fayette Pinkney

But that didn’t last too long. I met some fascinating people and got some valuable perspective on my life back home. India entirely changed my attitude towards my life.

Until I went to India I never realised that I was lonely. I thought I was just fine. But living with seven other people communally in India held a magnifying glass to how solitary my life actually is.

In some respects, I’ve not had human contact for years. It’s really the emotional and mental stimulation of talking to other people that I’m missing.

Image copyright Sheila Ferguson

Image caption Sheila and Jon

I live on my own, one daughter’s in Dubai, one’s in England and I’m in Majorca. My partner Jon died in 2010 and it’s time I got the hell out of here!

My social life really dips in the winter because everybody hibernates. My cleaner comes to my house on Thursdays but other than that, I could go all week without seeing another soul.

I could fall down on the steps in my house, or in the swimming pool and nobody would know for a week. I think my family are concerned about me living alone, but I never thought of it until now. Now I understand their worry.

Find out more

Image caption Residents of The Real Marigold hotel: Amanda Barrie, Paul Nicholas, Bill Oddie, Lionel Blair, Dr Miriam Stoppard, Dennis Taylor, Rustie Lee and Sheila Ferguson

In The Real Marigold Hotel, eight celebrities visit India to see how retiring there would differ from growing old in the UK.

You can watch the programme on BBC One at 21:00 on Wednesday 8 March or catch up later online.

In India, at the dinner table the seven of us would be talking, Bill Oddie telling us about his grandchildren, Paul Nicholas showing pictures of his daughters and his wife. I would be thinking, “They all have families to go back to and I’m going back to an empty house.” That’s when it really sank in. If I’m not careful I will end up sitting alone, at the head of my 14-seater dining table in a wedding dress, like Miss Havisham.

When my daughter, Alex, came out to visit me in India from her home in Dubai I realised just how much I missed my family. I want to see them more and now, thanks to my time in India, I am ready to find a new love.

I hadn’t been on a date since Jon died so I was shocked to be asked out by a gentleman at a drinks party in Kerala. Usually I’m the one asking a guy out, so when he just came out with it at first I thought it was a joke, I thought that the crew had put him up to it! He was very upfront, no nonsense. It’s been so long since anyone has said things like that to me, it was really lovely.

Since then I have been on another date in England. I think once you open up inside, your aura looks different to other people, so it may be that I was blocking myself off before.

I have been threatening to move back to England for the past four years. Soon after Jon died, I realised I didn’t suit living alone but I didn’t do anything about it. I kept putting it off, procrastinating. Probably because I wanted to stay here in Majorca in memory of the life I had built with him.

I threw myself into work. But this year, because of my trip to India, I am putting my house on the market so that I can move back to England in the spring. My two daughters grew up in Berkshire and I love it there. I’m really looking forward to being near my friends and family again.

Image copyright Sheila Ferguson

Image caption Sheila’s home in Majorca

In India, families are a close-knit unit, they do not disown their elders as we do in Western culture. They take responsibility and take care of one another. India has also helped me to become more understanding and patient with my mother, who turns 95 this year.

It calmed me down too. I’ve always been hyperactive and my work requires constant energy and enthusiasm – live now, sleep later. Being in a more spiritual place, where I had to give up control to others, helped my mind to open and to realise that the small things don’t matter so much.

I found that when I was rehearsing a panto in Ipswich everything was going awry, everything was late, it was a tech rehearsal, we opened the next day and everything was a mess. I just sat there and looked and said, “Well OK they’ll get it together. I know my lines.” And I just calmly went back to my dressing room. Any time before India I would have thrown a fit and I’m known for it.

The Marigold Hotel changed me and I’ve carried that lesson into my everyday life.

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