#if he were to acknowledge bruce can truly be affectionate and attentive that would hurt him so much more

[austenpoppy]

Interestingly, there are those issues of Gotham Knights (Gotham Knights #8-11) in which Bruce hypnotizes himself (because he wanted to prove to Dr. Strange Batman and Bruce weren't the same person) so that all he remembers is his Brucie persona.

At first, when Bruce keeps being Brucie even though there's no one else, Dick thinks it's a strategy on Bruce's part, that they're being bugged.

Gotham Knights #11

Then he starts to get more and more frustrated, to the point that he yells at Bruce to snap out of it while doing a move with his leg that sends Bruce flying. Dick is apologetic because Bruce was supposed to block it (he always blocks it because of a tell Dick apparently has). And that's when Dick begins to be terrified.

Gotham Knights #11

Shenanigans ensue, and Dick as Nightwing ends up asking him why he took his first ward in when they're in Doctor Strange's lair. Brucie answers something along the lines of "I don't know, but I liked him. He was fearless, effusive and full of grace."

Gotham Knights #11

And wouldn't you guess ? Those were the words Bruce used in those files of him to describe Dick.

Gotham Knights #10

Later, Dick reminds Bruce of the words of the oath they'd taken, and that's what stops the autohypnotic suggestion. Turns out Bruce was counting on Dick to say the words to free him.

Gotham Knights #11

(Also can I just squeal at how cute it is that young child Dick Grayson spent days practicing the oath speech ?).

So the way I see it, Dick felt very disconnected from the Brucie persona for the longest time. Bruce said it himself : "You have almost no relationship with that man."

Gotham Knights #11

Up until that moment he knew it was an act, and had trouble reconciling this persona with the man he knows. If anything, the fact that Brucie was an airhead had to be weird, irritating and maybe frightening to him - did he despise Brucie as much as Bruce does ? Batman/Bruce is the one who knows what needs to be done, who cleverly thwarts the villains' plans, and can take care of himself and others - he's someone to be relied on. Brucie, on the other hand, is someone who relies on others, a civilian who doesn't know his left from his right and needs to be protected. In that same issue of Gotham Knights, Dick was fully confident Tim, Alfred and he didn't have to fear Dr. Strange when it appeared Bruce was alive because he was certain Bruce would know what to do. Then when the Brucie persona took over, he fearfully tried to reassure himself Brucie knew how to take care of himself.

He once told Tim that it must be hard on Bruce to play stupid all the time, and that it was why he didn't try too hard to be Dick Grayson (meaning he didn't spend time crafting a role).

Robin volume 4, #12

Also in the JLA/Titans team-up when "Vic" was showing his friends the things he thought they wanted most, he shew Dick a Batman running at him and hugging him tight (not sure whether this was before or after the whole thing with Dr. Strange, though). Dick was shell-shocked for a few seconds, until Batman grinned (we know Bruce can smile and laugh, but it's certainly rarely a big toothy grin he can't keep off his face). Then he yelled at the illusion that he was not Batman, and walked away scoffing when the illusion kept telling him he was proud of everything Dick'd done and wanted to know how he felt.

JLA/Titans #1

So, apart from the fact that it's absolutely heartbreaking because it shows how little affection Bruce has given Dick over time and how he's not the type to be interested in how Dick feels (there's another panel in NTT of Bruce being too busy with Jason working on a case when Dick, depressed after Kory's wedding, wanted to talk to him; Bruce dismissed him, wished him a happy birthday in passing and Dick ended up muttering "The more things change, the more they stay the same), I think it's interesting that Dick saw this wasn't Batman thanks to the smile in particular, and right after the hug. Indeed, this may not be Batman's smile, but it's certainly Brucie's. And Dick reacted here after that the same way he would to Brucie - dismissively.

So if I had to hazard a guess, I would say Brucie had to be rather demonstrative in his affection toward Dick - this would tie in with other panels of Brucie showing Dick proudly to ladies at party. And also if Brucie was too dismissive of Dick in public, this would've garnered attention and raised eyebrows.

But the thing is, "Brucie" being affectionate, if that was indeed the case, didn't make Dick think this was how Bruce could act. He dissociated the two in his head, the two were separate entities: one he feared and adored in equal mesures, one he could dismiss without a thought; one who he relied on and knew all the answers and could protect him, one who was stupid and needed to be protected instead; one whose approval, love and attention he craved but barely received, one with whom he wanted nothing to do with but kept showing him around at parties.

Was separating the two personas and thinking Bruce couldn't be affectionate, attentive and fun a coping mechanism, a way to protect himself ? Maybe, and personally I would say yes.

In that case, learning from Bruce the files he created about why he took Dick in as Robin and how he wasn't sure how he considered Dick had to mess with Dick's head. And two issues later in Gotham Knights, Dick wrote that letter to Bruce he never sent about how he wanted Bruce to be sure about how he felt, how much he wanted to matter in Bruce's life and - most heartshattering of all - how he knew Bruce would trade him in a heartbeat for his parents while Dick would never do the same.

As an aside, some people may think it's weird for Bruce to reflect on Dick's role in his life after calling him son at least twice (at Donna's wedding, at the end of Knightfall), or for Dick to doubt his place in Bruce's life after that.

For the first case, Bruce was trying to think about why Batman had taken Robin to accomplish the mission he had set himself to do. It was also a point in his life when he started to question the duality between Batman and Bruce Wayne, became crankier and crankier to those around him and decided, right after Vesper Fairchild's murder, that Bruce Wayne was no longer of use to him.

As for Dick, he's spent his entire life getting mixed signals from Bruce : Bruce took him in and made him his partner, but fired him from the role after his first real encounter with Two-Face; he raised him, but never adopted him (at that point at least), and adopted Jason instead; he called him his son twice (that I remember at least), but also told him several times he never should've had a partner in the first place and threw him out after Jason died, and chose Azrael to replace him when he broke his back (learning Dick wasn't even with the Titans at that point but was flying solo makes this so much worse); is he valued for his usefulness in the mission or for himself ? So in the end, it's not surprising he wasn't sure where he stood with Bruce.

The Brucie and Dick relationship.

[Obligatory ‘new to comic canon’ warning, where I use my Tumblr to process all my thoughts!]

While thinking today about the impact that Bruce and Batman have on Dick growing up, I realised there was a third person to consider.

What impact does Brucie have on Dick?

Because Brucie is a big part of the Bruce/Batman/Brucie identity triangle, although he often isn’t really taken into consideration when looking at their overall relationship with Dick.  However, Brucie is who the world in general sees – his colleagues, his ‘friends’, the women he dates and the people he socialises with.  There are articles written about him in the papers, paparazzi snapping his pictures.  Businesses and charities being set up in his name.

The thing is though, once Dick comes along, Brucie isn’t just a solo act.  Now, Bruce has to decide what role Dick plays in the persona.

Brucie is deliberately crafted to send particular messages: he’s not a threat, he’s easy to manipulate, he’s rather stupid and clumsy but well-meaning and incredibly likeable.  Which means that, when they are together in public (or even when Brucie is talking about him without Dick being present), Brucie and Dick are meant to send a message as well.  I can’t see their public relationship not being just as carefully crafted as the Brucie one – if it’s not, it puts the whole Brucie persona at risk.  This isn’t Bruce having a relationship with Dick, after all – it’s Brucie.

I haven’t seen enough of Brucie and Dick together to really formulate something based more deeply in canon, so a couple of thoughts instead about what that message might be intended to be.  Is the message supposed to be that they are a shiny happy family (completely normal, as much as a man and his ward can be)?  From what we know of Brucie, that would mean that Brucie would likely be more openly affectionate when they are together, much more tactile and prouder of Dick than Bruce or Batman would be.

Is the message more supposed to be the scatterbrained playboy who collects things that interests him in a well-meaning way but moves on quickly, meaning Brucie is more likely to be kind but dismissive of Dick and their relationship?

Both versions send a message: one that is we are a normal, functional family (who clearly are not Batman and Robin!), one where the relationship is more superficial and Dick isn’t really quite that important anymore and therefore you shouldn’t worry too much about him/think about him/consider him to heavily connected to Brucie at all (and all the risks that might involve for Dick, Batman and Bruce).

Both serve a protective role and both are deliberately crafted, but neither are necessarily healthy for actual Dick in the long run – especially as this would have all started when Dick was 9-10 years old.  He’s not only having to navigate his own, actual relationship with Bruce (and Batman), but manage a fake version of it as well.  And, while Dick knows that it’s all an act and probably at times finds the whole Brucie situation deeply amusing while being frustrated at other times with how people underestimate Bruce, I could also see how the deliberate choices that Bruce makes about how Brucie and Dick’s relationship is portrayed could have a deeper impact.

After all … Affectionate!Brucie potentially highlights that Bruce chooses not to be like that with him at other times - he’s clearly capable of acting that way but doesn’t necessarily feel that way.  Or, at the very least, it highlights what could have been but isn’t.  Dismissive!Brucie potentially highlights some of Dick’s greatest fears.  

There are also things that Dick could learn just from Brucie away from the Dick and Brucie relationship (you never show your true self to people, even if they are not a threat – they are ALWAYS a threat) that have the potential to shape how he sees the world.

Again, none of these are fully realised thoughts or ideas.  There are also a dozen other variations of the Brucie and Dick relationship that Bruce might have crafted, but I think the thing I am getting at is that Bruce would have crafted something – and that potentially this might have had some impact on Dick.  He grew up with Brucie alongside Batman and Bruce, after all.  I could see young!Dick absolutely leaning into it and loving to play whatever the role was (love the ‘it’s us against the world’ feel), but you get the sense that as he gets older, some realisations might creep in.

Which leads me to my last random thought: are there some versions of the Brucie and Dick relationship where Brucie of all people is actually a better parent than Bruce is (especially later on)?  Brucie – who is generally ridiculed and looked down upon by everyone who knows that he is an act?  Who is meant to represent all the things that Bruce and Batman aren’t so as to throw people off their scent.  Are there versions of the Dick and Brucie relationship where Dick might actually prefer some of those Brucie traits to some of Bruce and Batman's more harsher edges?  

From a purely evil head canon perspective, I kind of like the thought that, out of all the Batkids, Dick is the only one who actually enjoys Brucie at times, because when Affectionate!Brucie is in action he can lean into the warmth of the father-son dynamic without it being complicated or difficult, even if it is just for a short time.  And you know what the kicker would be?  Bruce would probably tell Dick afterwards how well he played the role.

…. I did not intend to have so much to say about this relationship as I did!

[batboys-batboys-whachu-gonna-do]

"Let's finish this, brat! I want to go home," Jason yelled under his helmet while kicking one of the men that surrounded him.

"Todd, I'm not freaking magical so shut the hell up and do your damn job!" Damian yelled back from the other side of the room, where Jason couldn't directly see him. The only confirmation of Damian's work was his cursing and the bodies of the enemies hitting the floor loudly.

He chuckled under he's breath as he saw two of them trying to get up and then immediately sitting back down because of the current Robin's threats.

"Dare to come back here, and.." he said whilst flipping a man and making him hit the floor with a thud "...and you'll definitely NOT like it," he finished kicking another one's kneecap.

A strong punch in the stomach woke Red Hood from his trance, the poor guy wasn't even in a defensive stance so instead of using any weapon he just threw an uppercut knocking him out.

Jason had to admit that he tried to call the attention to him, but the kid was and easy target, or that's what the bad guys thought...and that affected greatly to the point where Damian had almost 15 more people around him than the legendary Red Hood.

Even if Jason knew that the brat could handle it, it was still unfair. For them, not for Damian, who seemed to enjoy it.

The Hood headed rapidly to the other room because of the sound of a threatening blade.

"What did I tell you about being too mean, Dames, huh?" He said, eyeing the many unconscious men in the room. Did he just talk like Dick? Dear god.

"T-T," Damian answered him using the handle of the sword to break some guy's nose.

Jason joined him amused by his little brother's way to obey his orders, they worked rarely in silence and more effectively than normal, just a few comments between them. Even if they weren't the best friends, there was always a promise of protection between them.

Almost half an hour later, they were done. Mostly because it was very easy: clear the place, no killing.

The master mind of the organization had already been taken out of the equation and the people in the building weren't even near the high ranks...they were just thieves and the trash that desperately craved something in the streets.

"Guys, we have a problem," Tim spoke in their ears as they waited in the rooftop of that place in the middle of nowhere and added, "you'll have to wait, we're having trouble in here."

Jason groaned,"How much, Timbers?"

"Five hours, more or less," Red Robin answered trying to sound at ease but failing epicly.

"Drake," Damian said softly but with a clear hint of anger, "What the hell happened?"

"Madness. No one is hurt, but this new whatever that is got us in a trap and with some kind of device blocked the Batwing and almost everything else. We're working on it," Tim explained quickly as if he was in a rush.

"I want a call at any change of situation, Drake." sighed Damian. Tim huffed at that, but answered affirmatively.

Jason started wandering around the rooftop, touching everything and looking more bored with each step. Damian analyzed the night, noticing in a weird gleam by the door, maybe the moonlight reflecting, but suddenly realized what it really was.

He moved faster than he thought he could and pushed Jason and himself off the roof.

"What the fuck, kid?" was the only thing that escaped Jason's mouth. He desperately tried to catch Damian in the air but something up there exploded, they felt the heat and the strength of the bomb making everything blow away,pushing them apart.

From that height, it was granted a certain death and in the commotion he couldn't even find Robin.

Out of nowhere a hand found its way to his and took a tight grasp. Damian had improvised, his eyes looked determined but he knew pain was going to come as soon as the rope tensed.

"Damian, I need you to push me up,"Jason shouted. They were in a horrible position, if they stayed like that both of Robin's arms would end up broken.

Damian tried his best, but there was no way he could just lift a man twice his size just using his body and there was no time. The rope tensed, and the sound of a loud crack and a feral whine flooded the air.

"Fuck, I'm so sorry, Dames," Jason said pulling himself up when they reached the wall. "Don't move, I'll take it from here," he added in a whisper watching the pain in Damian's eyes. The poor kid couldn't even talk.

Jason grabbed something out of Robin's utility belt and secured him to his chest.

The harsh surface of the building made climbing easier, he broke the nearest window and carefully entered the room trying to not cause Damian any more pain.

The kid soon started to drift into sleep, almost passing out.

"Damian, I'm gonna have to put them in place," warned Jason without hesitation, "or it'll be worse."

Robin just nodded and prepared himself by biting some cloth that Jason handed him. He closed his eyes and screamed as he felt the waves of pain hit him, big tears formed and disappeared into the cloth.

A soon as all Jason could do at the moment was done, Damian fell asleep.

"Timmy, we had a problem," Jason informed him, emotions mixed with his voice.

Tim made an annoyed sound and was interrupted by Jason,"Damian got both of his arms broken and I seriously don't want him to stay injured in a place like this. He's asleep because of the meds that I found in here, but I wouldn't trust them. Plus, we didn't kill anyone so they'll be probably waking up soon and if the police arrives..."

"Damn," his brother huffed on the other side of the line, preoccupation very present in his tone, "We'll get there as soon as we can or I'll send you someone"

"Okay," Jason simply responded, almost irritated, looking back at Damian, who was spreaded on the floor. He took his helmet off and putting the boy wonder in his arms he sat down, resting Damian's head in his shoulder and covering him with his cape.

An hour later Damian woke up with a grunt, "shit," he whispered waking Jason up too with the sound.

"Don't move too much," Jason warned him, so the little Wayne just rubbed his head on Jason's shoulder trying to find comfort.

"I'm sorry, I should have noticed before,"he said to the kid in his arms.

"Don't be," he answered and chuckled, "but it actually was your fault."

"I know," Jason stated bluntly, taking all the blame on himself. There was a change in Damian's eyes.

"Hey," he whispered, "don't worry about it. We're a team, like hell I was going to let something like that happen."

"And here I thought you hated me," he answered, surprised and filled with guilt.

"Tt, I'm just bugging you. If I truly hated you, I'd just ignore the hell out of you." Damian added, fully awake but still weak.

"Wait, but you do that with Tim all the time, does it mean...?" Jason stopped talking because of the bat-shut-up-now-stare the kid was giving him.

"Obviously not, if I really hated him I'd just start to question his job. You see, while you are in need of someone who acknowledges your presence, he is in need someone who trusts his decisions," Damian slowly explained with a stern look, like it was obvious

Jason was startled by how much the kid was talking in such pain, but let him continue, Damian never talked much to him anyway.

"The only moments I truly intervene physically is when he's stuck or about to do something stupid." The kid added thoughtfully.

"Dames, you two fight like every day"

"First of all, Drake is 24/7 in a state of sleep deprivation, and he needs to get out of the damn cave from time to time. Plus I get to bother him, it's a win-win situation," Damian told him glaring annoyedly to the ceiling and continued, "but I'm almost always aware of what he's investigating. Being in that state can compromise the missions."

"And what about me, pup? Do you have an eye on me too?" Jason laughed as he saw Damian nodding in an odd manner, with unfazed but surprisingly warm eyes.

"I know where all your safe houses are. Remember whe you got pizza delivered every time you were in one? Yeah...and no sleeping unless I know everyone is home. Pennyworth doesn't like it, but I use the time wisely." Damian was slipping many of his secrets in that conversation, maybe it was because of the situation or the medicine, Jason thought.

"What about the girls?" Jason asked.

"I respect them too much to do anything to them, and Cass will still eat my food even if I lick it so it's pointless. I've gotten to appreciate our current Fatgirl" Damian smiled at the thought, "..and everyone gets enough annoyed with my fights with Tim so there's no actual need. The only one that never seems to be bothered is Dick, I'd have to really kill someone to for him to be mad at me and I think he would still forgive me."

"He would, but you don't want to see him truly mad. He's worse than Bruce"

"Really? He never seemed to be like Father," Damian wondered and perked his eyebrows up, encouraging Jason to speak.

"He's different in many ways, but Bruce raised him up and some things always stay with us." Jason explained, hoping Damian would understand him.

"Father is.." Damian started but Jason asked right away, "why do you call him like that?"

"What else should I call him, idiot? He's my father," said Damian harshly, making his question sound way more stupid than it was.

"It's just that it doesn't sound affectionate, I don't know," Jay said.

"Maybe it's because of the way I learned English." The kid said as if it explained everything.

"Wait, English isn't your first language?

"Nope, it's Arabic" Damian responded. Suddenly his eyes lighted up remembering something.

"The first Christmas I spent here was very weird, mostly because reading about something is pretty different from experiencing it.

Anyways, for some Dick of a reason," the boy said gaining a a hard laugh from Jason, "Father didn't let me go on patrol because Dick said that I had to stay home and enjoy the real Christmas. How the heck would I enjoy being alone? on Christmas? But at the moment I really didn't get what it all was about so I followed what Pennyworth said. And I'm not gonna lie, I actually had fun, but it was just the two of us, and surely Pennyworth wanted to have everyone already home as much I wanted." He made a pause, making sure Jason was listening and kept going, " All of you arrived later than expected and I was so tired because of the patrols of the nights before that somehow I just switched languages. I called Father Baba , he almost choked." A grin spreader on Damian face, but the pain could still be clearly seen.

"What does it mean?" Jason inquired mostly because he wanted to hear Damian's voice, because in fact he knew what it meant.

"It's something like daddy, more or less" the kid confessed, and switched his position to face Jason. He didn't look bothered nor embarrassed, just tired.

"Maybe he wasn't ready to hear it," Jason suggested shrugging slowly to not hurt Damian, but he managed to hurt him with his words.

That's when it hits him, the hopeless look on Damian's eyes, the pout on his mouth and the way he tried to hold back his tears: Damian was just a kid. Jason would call him that to annoy him, not because he thought that the Robin was one. It didn't matter how hard his eyes looked in the field, he had seen worse stuff in his short life than Bruce in his own, and the boy was still a little kid.

He had been programmed since he was a baby to be perfect and he had betrayed his mother by joining Batman, a man he didn't know, and Jason bet it was way harder that it sounded.

Jason remembered his time with the League and wanted to shout, he wanted to kill Talia with his own hands. He wanted to slap Bruce in the face and tell him that Damian needed him, that he himself needed him. He wanted to erase the bad memories out of his brother's head, but the sad truth was that maybe he'd have to erase everything.

Instead of saying anything, he just pressed his foreheads together as he had seen many mothers do to their children . Jason didn't expect the sound he heard, it was a genuine giggle. Damian Wayne was giggling, that broken kid. A kid that got dragged into a cruel world, that had no chance,no choice, that didn't think he could choose.

Jason giggled too, the boy's laugh was contagious enough to make him feel something tingling in his chest. He really needed to stay away from Dick and his gross brotherly behavior.

"What is so funny?" He asked Damian while opening his eyes only to see a pair of green ones staring him back.

"I can't explain why, but it makes me feel better."

"Yeah?" Jason asked incredulous, still the smile in his face

"Affirmative," the boy answered resting his head against the Hood's shoulder.

"Hey, pup," Jason called after a while, "do you like being a Robin?"

"Honestly? I don't know, but I have to do it. Father needs a Robin," he answered simply.

"No, Bruce needs a son. Batman needs a Robin," the man closed his eyes, "you've been fighting for too long and you didn't even choose to do so. Is there something you wanna do, kiddo? I know you're super intelligent and probably in the League they already thought you all any school could teach you, but...?" He inquired, feeling Damian moving nervously in his lap.

"I enjoy painting," the kid said, kind of embarrassed and proud at the same time, "Pennyworth says I'm as skilled in that matter as I am in sword fighting," he added.

Jason let an approving sound escape his lips," and that's much to say since you'd kick all of our butts if we were challenged to a duel, including Bruce"

"Probably," he answered, but didn't sound proud or anything else. It was a plain voice, he probably had bad memories about it. Maybe even nightmares in which he had to fight his family.

"Let's do something," he told his younger brother, "while you recover I'll do all of your patrols and when you're back on the game I'll ask you again if you want to go on field. If you want, maybe you and I can put our patrols together and if you don't want to I'll talk to Dick and Bruce. Maybe I can make them understand, you know, that way you avoid getting in fights."

"If I decide to quit, I want to be with you when we tell them" Damian stated, still unsure but determined to stand for himself.

"Okay, buddy" Jason answered, caressing the boys hair.

Damian fell asleep again in that position, curled in Jason's legs. Jason talked to the device in his ear.

"Timmy, how are we doing?" He asked, but instead of hearing his brothers voice there was a deep rage filled voice: Bruce.

"What the hell happened there? It was a simple mission, almost impossible to get hurt and you still managed blow more things up." The man said in the other line, not that Jason wasn't used to it, but one thing was getting himself hurt and other thing was being the cause of someone getting hurt. So for once in his life, he didn't talk back, he just listened to Bruce ranting and telling him all the stupid things he had done that night, and in all his life. He could hear the preoccupation hid behind the rage, but it was unreachable for everyone.

"Father," they heard Damian in the communicator, his voice muffled and sleepy, "no blame must be held, the trap was placed to be undetectable."

Bruce released a grunt of disapproval, but he sounded also relieved.

"I want the details of what happened when you come back, and you two are grounded" Bruce stated firmly.

Jason just couldn't contain himself and said, "Bruce I don't even live with you and Damian has both of his arms broken" he could feel how Bruce was about to snap again, but Damian snorted just before Batman could even start. Bruce stopped himself immediately and asked with an alarmed voice, "what's wrong? Something happened?"

"What? No, Bruce, he's just laughing. Have you ever heard of that?" Jason answered, looking at Damian in his lap, who chuckled and said, "You're an idiot, Todd."