#if he spent it not wanting to leave yuugi's shadow?

[kathairoscloset]

Yknow, I know we like making fun of Kaiba for being so obsessed with Atem that he builds a portal to the afterlife "just to challenge the pharaoh to a card game", but I find it so fascinating at the same time because in many ways, Kaiba's grief feels a bit like a reflection of the fans' grief about Atem's departure.

Granted none of us can do the insane bullshit that Kaiba can lol, but many fans do think that having Atem depart isn't real closure, no? For many, Atem dying in this way isn't him 'moving on', it's him just, dying. He was a boy who never got to be a man, a boy who never got to live, and according to the narrative the only way he gets to live is to... die? The hell does that mean, bish he should've stayed! He should've gotten to experience life's ups and downs, play card games, eat falafel, just live life. This is absolutely unfair, it doesn't fit with the story's theme of choice vs. fate, and so and so forth.

And so going to Kaiba, I think a bit of his grief represents that. His lack of closure in his relationship with Atem, the one person who managed to understand him, whose strength he respected, hoped to surpass... is just fucken dead? The hell does that mean, bish he should've stayed! I needed to beat him! I needed him to be here! I need my fucken friend rival back!

And because of that, he goes through everything possible to bring him back. He takes the Puzzle, he disregards Yuugi's worth as just "a vessel", and even after, he still builds that damn elevator just to see Atem again. It's that wish of "he needs to come back" that fans have, only to its absolute extreme, and I find that parallels to it very interesting.

[mutogamingco]

He had been out cold for a while, regaining some strength far away off the face of the earth and decided to get back to some people or the other he had had to leave in a drastically quick way - probably stepping on some toes - the good old fashioned way.

A warm, greasy meal and a good time spent together.

Entering the designated shop in the immediate premises, he wanted to just grab something and go quickly... but realized he knew one of the customers of the store.

Who was sitting in a booth close by, already enjoying a meal and obviously going through something he couldn't see well from his place in the entrance.

Mariku had his doubts about staying, especially as he didn't know if Yugi would cause him any problems, especially after seeing him, when they had only had terrible interactions in the past... but he still entered the shop and stood at the end of the small line.

A shadow creature could hope, right?

It was a popular place between his apartment and work, so Yuugi treated himself once in a while on his way home...especially when he knew he'd rather go home and sleep than do any cooking. It was better than settling for cup noodles.

He read through some notes as he ate, oblivious to the comings and goings of the people around him. Unable to distract himself from work, Yuugi decided to go over things once more just in case he'd overlooked something.

Suddenly, the hairs on the back of his neck bristled and he blinked, chopsticks stalling halfway to his lips. What was this feeling? A discreet glance at the door came up empty, and he shrugged to return to his meal.

But movement out of the corner of his eye made him look again and he had to grip them tighter to keep from dropping the takoyaki.

No, it couldn't be!

But it had to be.

Was he...in line to order food? Like any other person?

Maybe he wouldn't see him...if he pretended his was invisible.

Yuugi went back to his notes, though he'd lost all motivation to read them.

[pot-of-terv]

Goodness I almost didn’t finish this in time, I got a horrible migraine yesterday and today the time got away from me because I spent the day with a friend... But here it is!! I wanted to draw more but the writing took longer than I thought and now it’s so late that I should’ve been in bed over an hour ago :_D 

THEY FINALLY TALK... a little. But it’s a good beginning.

PuzzleJune 2021, Week Three: Dimension (Rules, Impossible)

It's a comfortable silence. Atem would be content to just stay there, feeling warm and loved, lodged between Yuugi's arms. Perhaps he could even doze off.

But he knows what he said, and he knows Yuugi is now waiting for them to talk. Their mental link through the Puzzle might be gone but maybe there's some kind of a residual connection left, because the feeling of expectation in the air is almost palpable.

"We're both going to get cricks in our backs if we don't move soon," Yuugi interrupts his thoughts. He sounds sleepy and some part of that guilt Atem felt before raises its ugly head.

"I– yeah," Atem mumbles and with obvious reluctance, lets go of Yuugi's waist and sits up. Something must show on his face because Yuugi peers at him curiously.

“I’m sorry for waking you, aibou,” he sighs and offers an apologetic smile. “I know you would’ve liked to sleep longer.”

Yuugi lets out a startled laugh and shakes his head.

“Uh-huh, but you’re way more important than that. You should know that, right?”

Atem is taken aback by the blatant sincerity of those words. It tends to happen a lot around Yuugi, and he’s not sure if he’s ever going to get used to it. On some level though... It feels nice. He chuckles and smiles at Yuugi, this time honestly.

“I guess I should.” He pauses. “Thank you, Yuugi.”

This time it’s his partner’s turn to look surprised. A slight blush climbs onto his cheeks which Atem notes, amused. Even now it’s not exactly a regular occurrence for him to call Yuugi by his name (it feels odd on his tongue – it’s hard to shake the memories of being called with that same name) and he resorts to ‘partner’ more often than not but he has been trying. He has his name now – no reason for him to withhold Yuugi’s own from him.

“I-it’s fine, other me,” Yuugi says and looks away, breaking their eye contact. He looks happy, though, so Atem doesn’t worry about it too much. What he does worry about is the conversation they’re about to have.

He stretches, probably more theatrically than necessary, then shuffles backwards on the bed to lean his back against the wall and snags Yuugi’s pillow to hold under his arms. He feels awkward and clumsy despite his mind having cleared up and he feels that he needs the extra comfort. Yuugi pulls his legs onto the bed and leans against the headrest.

They fall into another silence, yet this is a pondering one. Still not awkward, still not bad – Atem is pretty sure they’re not even able to have awkward silences. It’s a comforting thought and he hugs the pillow in his lap closer to his chest to cover his inappropriately goofy smile.

“We really don’t do this, huh,” Yuugi snickers after a while, breaking the stillness that had fallen over the room like a blanket.

Atem tilts his head on the side to look at him, leaning his cheek on the pillow.

“We really, really don’t,” he answers with an easy grin. Yuugi smiles back and there’s such fondness in his eyes that Atem could very well just drown in those purple depths. He sobers quickly though and his grin falters before vanishing, leaving his mouth in a tight line. He looks into Yuugi’s eyes with a new sharpness and the other boy mirrors his expression as if it’s his second nature (it probably is, considering). This is it.

“I’m so sorry for everything I put you through,” the pharaoh blurts out before he can overthink it. Yuugi looks almost shocked so he barrels on, “I know how greatly you suffered during those weeks leading up to the ceremonial duel. Those feelings were never a secret from me and I’m so, so sorry for not making it right… before it was already too late.”

There’s the familiar feeling of a lump in his throat and he fights to keep his eyes locked into Yuugi’s. He deserves honesty and Atem can’t allow himself to turn away. A shadow casts over Yuugi’s face and he's silent for a moment before speaking.

“I kind of knew. That you knew. I’m not too sure how it made me feel, though,” he says quietly. “Not very good at least, if I’m honest.”

Atem nods. He had presumed as much.

“I thought… I thought you just really wanted to leave. And I couldn’t blame you for it, I mean… you were dead, and the dead deserve their rest. And on top of it, that’s your family and friends you would’ve gotten to see in the Afterlife. Of course, it still hurt me,” Yuugi smiles sadly and lifts his knees to tuck his chin against them. “But I can’t blame you for that.”

“Why not?” Atem asks sharply and sits up straight. He squeezes the pillow against his stomach. “You have every right.”

All of a sudden Yuugi looks a little exasperated and he runs a hand through his hair, breaking their eye contact.

“Because… I don’t work that way?” he offers with a wince.

“Nah, you do,” Atem counters slyly. “You just don’t want to make me feel bad.”

Yuugi’s eyes snap back to his and the answer is written clear as day on his face.

“Well, that’s–! That’s!” he struggles to find the words before he just sighs and his shoulders slump. “Yeah. Okay. I want to blame you for it! But I can’t!”

Atem’s eyebrows rise toward his hairline as he stares at Yuugi in surprise. He opens his mouth to say something but Yuugi is faster.

“I love you too much to be able to.” His cheeks flush crimson and he slaps his hands over his face. “Don’t look at me,” he mutters, “I know that goes without saying but you just had to make me say it!”

Atem is completely speechless. Every direction he thought that this conversation could take them, this one was not what he had expected. Talk about dimensions, he thinks, perhaps a little dazed. Of course, it’s– it’s a given that they love each other–

“No,” Atem interrupts his own thoughts and throwing the pillow to the side, he crawls to Yuugi and kneels next to him. He takes a gentle hold of Yuugi’s right wrist but doesn’t pry the hand away from his face.

“It shouldn’t go without saying. Because we went with things without saying anything, you – and I – got hurt. And that should never happen again.” He takes a deep breath and feels himself smile.

“I love you, Yuugi, and that’s why I thought I had to leave. I thought you’d be happier. I couldn’t let myself be the reason you never got to live your life to the fullest, because if I stayed with you as we were, that’s what would have happened. I thought I knew the rules up until the last second.

“Turns out, I didn’t. I had another choice, a third one… I would have been a fool not to take it because that’s what I had always wanted in the deep recesses of my heart. You remember, right?” He tugs softly on Yuugi’s wrist to try to get him to look at him. “That night you asked me who I was. I told you I wanted to stay with you forever. Those feelings never changed.”

Yuugi lets his hands fall from his face but his eyes are closed tight. There are tears there, forming in the corners, and Atem wants to kiss them away. He doesn’t.

“I–,” Yuugi chokes on his words at first but keeps going, “I remember. I always remembered, but… I guess I stopped believing in it along the way. I didn’t want to hold you back, either. I never wanted to lose you but if it meant that you’d be happy, I’d do anything.”

He finally looks at Atem, eyes wet and shimmering, and laughs, voice thick with emotion.

“We’re such dummies.”

Atem holds out his hand and brushes a single tear off Yuugi’s cheek as it falls, his chest tight and heart fluttering somewhere in between his throat and ribcage. He almost doesn’t dare to talk in fear of his voice breaking... but what would that matter? They’re already laying out their hearts in front of each other, revealing the feelings that they had tried to keep private for reasons that don’t make much sense anymore – if they ever did.

“We are,” the pharaoh smiles and if his lip wobbles then be it. “Aibou… can you promise not to do anything like that anymore, to not… to not keep your feelings concealed for my sake?”

Yuugi takes his hand and squeezes. It makes warmth bloom in Atem’s chest.

“Only if you promise me the same.”

They just look at each other then, searching the other’s eyes. Would they be able to keep such a promise? After all those months of keeping things locked away, of always thinking about what they thought was the best for the other, of never talking things through? They both know it has to change, so… why not start now? They’re finally on the same page and moving forward, they need to keep it that way. Never rushing ahead or falling behind.

Simultaneously they both break into wide smiles and as Atem reaches for Yuugi’s other hand, they speak.

“I promise,” they say at the same time and it surprises neither. They laugh together, free and unburdened, and Atem leans forward to press his forehead against Yuugi’s. Yuugi meets him halfway and seeing the happiness in his eyes that close, Atem feels the prickle of tears in his own. They’re too close to look at each other for long but as they lean away they’re still smiling, still holding hands, tears now on both of their cheeks, and all is right in the world.

Despite everything, they still have each other, and their hearts are lighter. They’re aware that there’s a lot more where that came from but this is a better start than either of them could have hoped for.

They have each other, they have time, and nothing is impossible.

[sage-nebula]

Top 5 Jounouchi moments

5.) “I’ll never give up on myself, or on you! So you don’t give up either, okay, Yuugi?”

There’s a whole lot more to this scene than just that line, but basically: during Death-T, when they’re locked in the falling block room but before the blocks start to fall, Yuugi has a minor freakout because he thinks it’s his fault that everyone is stuck inside there with him. In return, Jounouchi has a minor freakout because he’s upset that Yuugi is blaming himself. And that’s all well and good, but what makes this scene stand out for Jounouchi is that he ends up opening up to Yuugi (and Honda and Anzu, since they were also present) about how much he used to absolutely hate himself but how that changed when he met Yuugi and returned the piece of the Puzzle he stole. This is significant in a couple ways:

One, Death-T happens smack in the middle of the school arc, and so it’s still fairly early in the series. When the manga starts, Jounouchi is chock full of toxic masculinity that informs his behavior and choices, and part of that toxic masculinity is a refusal to be vulnerable with others, or to show any kind of sensitivity. See: how he didn’t want to admit that he believed in fortune telling in chapter . . . four, I think it was, and so he blamed them going to see the fortune teller on Anzu rather than admit that he was the one who wanted them all to go. But here, he’s opening up and revealing vulnerabilities about himself. He’s admitting that he used to absolutely hate who he was, that he took his self-hatred out on Yuugi, and that he started to like himself for the very first time when he returned the piece of the Puzzle he stole. He’s being vulnerable in front of his friends, which is something that he absolutely would not have done at the start of the manga. It’s a significant point of growth for his character.

Two, it’s also significant because the reason he’s doing it is not for himself, but rather for Yuugi, which is something consistent with Jounouchi’s character throughout the manga. Jounouchi is incredibly selfless and would quite literally die for those he loves. Here he’s vulnerable not because he wants the others to know that he has had horrific self-esteem throughout his life, but rather because he wants to show Yuugi just how important Yuugi is to him and make it plain that Jounouchi himself is better off because he has Yuugi in his life. He makes sure that Yuugi knows that Jounouchi will always believe in him and always be there for him and presses Yuugi to acknowledge the same. This is especially poignant considering the next chapter, wherein Yuugi tells Jounouchi and Anzu about Atem, and Jounouchi once again reaffirms that he will always consider Yuugi his best friend, no matter what other spirit resides in him (or the Puzzle as the case may be). It’s just a really beautiful moment.

4.) If you tell Jounouchi he’s going to die, he will face an Egyptian God and walk backwards into life.

Sure, he “lost” the duel. (“Lost” being in quotation marks because if they weren’t playing with holograms the attack would have counted and he would have won.) But the fact remains that Jounouchi Katsuya played a Shadow Game against an Egyptian God and not only tanked the hit, but even though he did die, that death was temporary. A direct attack from an Egyptian God during a Shadow Game only managed to kill him temporarily. He spent, what, a handful of hours in that hospital bed, tops? A handful of hours and he was back on his feet like nothing ever happened. And it’s not even like this was some random-ass Shadow Game either. This particular Shadow Game delivered direct damage to his body / life force with every Life Point he lost. He took hit, after hit, after hit, with the finishing blow being the fires of Ra and he still managed to survive. Like, yes, he died for a little while. For a couple hours. But then he woke up and was fine. And he’s not like other characters in this series, who are reincarnations of ancient Egyptian mages or who have Millennium Items backing them up. Nope, he’s just a punk from the wrong side of the tracks who is too goddamn stubborn and determined to live to be killed. Whether gang leaders (Hirutani), professional serial killers (Chopperman), revenge-driven Millennium Item wielders (Malik), or actual gods (Ra), no one can kill Jounouchi Katsuya for long, and that’s goddamn amazing.

3.) Throwing Hirutani off the roof and out of his life.

Okay, listen. We all know that I love the Trash King Bitch himself and that I do wish that he had come back later on in the manga, even though he wouldn’t have any interest in Duel Monsters and so it wouldn’t make much sense for him to be involved in those arcs. Despite this, though, I have to say that I do love how his part in the story wrapped up for Jounouchi. When we first saw Hirutani, Jounouchi (understandably) had to be saved by Atem. He didn’t get to settle things with Hirutani on his own terms. So when Hirutani comes back in chapters 48/49, Jounouchi gets a chance to settle the score and close the book on that part of his life for good, for himself. Yes, at first he’s put into a bit of a jam when HIrutani has Yuugi literally hanged by the Millennium Puzzle, but Jounouchi manages to save him, and then—with Yuugi’s encouragement—is able to tell Hirutani to go screw himself when Hirutani suggests that Yuugi will be safe so long as Jounouchi complies with what he wants (which Jounouchi did consider, until Yuugi spoke up and said that would never happen, giving Jounouchi the strength to agree). But even without my own Wishshipping bias, the entire fight on the roof was just [chef’s kiss]. Hirutani reminiscing about their past in an attempt to sway Jounouchi’s feelings, Jounouchi winning the fight despite Hirutani throwing glass in his eyes, and then finally, knocking Hirutani off the roof of the warehouse. It was a way to win the fight, yes, but it was also symbolic. He knocked Hirutani off the roof and out of his life. He closed the door on that relationship for good, and it was a very poignant and important moment for him that often gets overlooked.

2.) “Yuugi, I will stand with you on the edge of the River Styx . . . but I won’t let you cross over!”

Everything about the scene where Jounouchi saves Yuugi from the Black Crown fire is just . . . [chef���s kiss] Let me count the ways in which this scene is incredible:

1.) Jounouchi realizes pretty quickly that Yuugi will not leave that raging inferno without putting the Puzzle back together and freeing it from the table. He just won’t. And instead of continuing to fight with him about it, Jounouchi quickly takes control of the situation and tells everyone else to get the hell out while he stays behind to help Yuugi. Once everyone else is out of harm’s way, Jounouchi calmly stands there amongst the raging flames and thinks the above line. He’s literally willing to stand at the edge of death with Yuugi, no matter how bad the flames or the smoke is, but he’s equally as determined to make sure that Yuugi lives. But even setting aside my Wishshipping bias (again), I feel that this is such an incredible display of Jounouchi’s character, particularly in contrast to how horribly the anime liked to portray him. Jounouchi quickly analyzed the situation, took command of the others there and got them to safety, and then held his composure in the middle of an inferno while he watched over Yuugi. He thinks quickly on his feet, he’s decisive, he’s strong, and he’s resilient, and this scene showed all of those qualities beautifully.

2.) Jounouchi is the one who figures out how to free the Puzzle after Yuugi has put it back together (and Yuugi has passed out). Although Atem does manage to psychically connect with Jounouchi while Jounouchi is trying to pry Yuugi’s fingers off the Puzzle, in the manga all he says is Jounouchi’s name; Jounouchi is the one who spots the pipe and uses it as a wrench against the table to free the Puzzle from where it was stuck, declaring loudly that they were not going to die in that fire as he did so. Again, he’s resourceful and thinks quickly on his feet. Any characterization of Jounouchi as stupid just because he has bad grades and his mouth runs before his brain catches up sometimes is flat out wrong, as proven by this scene here.

3.) And finally, that scene where he carries Yuugi out of the flames . . . absolutely beautiful, a masterful work of art, 10/10, even better in the fully colored version of the manga. He holds Yuugi in a bridal carry and gets him out of that burning building, making good on his word to not let Yuugi die there. Absolutely immaculate. [chef’s kiss]

1.) Sacrificing himself to save Yuugi at the pier.

Anyone who didn’t see this coming just does not know me at all, but yeah, the pier duel is my absolute favorite part of the manga for so many reasons, and again, I feel like I have to count the ways here:

1.) First of all, it is impossible to talk about this without talking about how Jounouchi managed to break the Millennium Rod’s power over him. As stated above, Jounouchi is just a boy from a broken home. He doesn’t have an Ancient Egyptian preincarnation, he doesn’t have magic powers, he doesn’t have a magical artifact. All he has to his name is ¥600 and unmitigated gall. And yet, despite practically anyone casting him aside as unremarkable, he and he alone managed to completely break the power the Millennium Rod held over him, through nothing but sheer determination. This is, again, not talked about very much, despite it being one of (if not the) most remarkable feats in the entire manga canon. No other character managed anything even remotely close to this. But although the Rod held Jounouchi for a time, just like Ra’s attack, the effect only lasted for a handful of hours. Jounouchi throws off the chokehold of dark magic in a handful of hours like it’s nothing. His audacity is unparalleled and I love him for it so much.

2.) Jounouchi’s connection with the Red-Eyes Black Dragon is never explained, but it’s extremely present both here and when he comes back to life later on (which in-universe is like two days later, tops, because so much happens in so little time in YGO), but it’s still worth remarking upon. In this particular instance, Red-Eyes was on Yuugi’s side of the field. The duel was over. There was absolutely no reason for Red-Eyes to react or listen to Jounouchi at all. But when Jounouchi called for her, her eyes flared to life and she attacked him as he requested before her hologram vanished. That moment will always stick out to me, particularly since we don’t know why Red-Eyes has such a connection to Jounouchi, but she very obviously does in a way that we see with only a few other humans and monsters in the series. 

3.) Jounouchi Tarzan-swinging across the pier on the chain of his handcuff and swiping Yuugi’s key before they’re both dragged into the ocean is just an admirable feat of athleticism and dexterity that is just [chef’s kiss]. Sure, he doesn’t have enough time to unlock Yuugi before the anchor drops, but he has enough time to grab Yuugi’s key, and considering how tiny that key was and how deep the box that held it was, that’s still pretty impressive.

4.) And finally, the big one . . . although Jounouchi’s self-esteem definitely got better after he befriended Yuugi, there’s a huge difference between “better” and “good”. Jounouchi doesn’t give up, he refuses to go down without swinging, he doesn’t take kindly to others putting him down. But while Jounouchi doesn’t take insults from others lying down, that doesn’t stop him from insulting himself or from feeling very badly about himself and his own capabilities. He’s very quick to blame himself for things entirely beyond his control, and to feel that those failures are a result of his own inadequacies. For example, he blamed himself for Shizuka being afraid to remove her bandages, saying that it was his fault and that he wasn’t good enough to give her the courage that she needed. This was the entire reason why he entered Battle City: so that he could give her the courage she needed. (And then he stays in Battle City to fight Malik and help Yuugi, but that’s a digression.)

The reason why this is important is because part of feeling like you’re inadequate, like you’re responsible for whatever goes wrong, like you’re a screw-up who will never be good enough, is also feeling like you’re not really deserving of the love or respect of other people. Again, it seems a bit paradoxical to say that’s the case with Jounouchi given how he’ll talk himself up when it comes to certain subjects and how he doesn’t stand for others belittling him, but a.) his bravado is often false, and b.) just because he won’t let others bully him doesn’t mean he won’t bully himself. When it comes to Jounouchi’s loved ones, he puts them on a pedestal and therefore, on some level, sees them as being better than him. Shizuka and Yuugi can do no wrong, so whatever goes wrong in their lives is probably his fault somehow, whether it’s because he caused it or because he can’t fix it. And he always needs to be better, to be deserving of the love they give him. He needs to earn it, you know? (In his eyes, at least; you know they wouldn’t agree with that.)

All of this is relevant because Yuugi telling Jounouchi that he loves him here just . . . shakes Jounouchi to his core. As Yuugi is giving his little speech, Jounouchi actually tells him to stop, not only because he can tell what’s likely going to happen after (because after all, Yuugi said that he wanted to buy enough time to say what he wanted to say), but also because hearing that someone loves him, and loves him so strongly, is basically earth-shattering for him. To be clear, in Japanese culture people don’t really say “I love you” to each other. Culturally, it’s just not a thing at all to tell your friends that you love them. Even married couples very rarely say it. It’s like a “you might say it on your death bed” kind of thing. The word that Yuugi used, too, is incredibly strong; “daisuki” is basically “head exploding levels of love and affection.” There’s a reason why, in stories like this, it’s usually reserved for dramatic confessions of love. But setting my Wishshipping bias aside once again, I’m not bringing this up to make an argument of how much this comes across as a romantic confession (though it does), but rather to explain just how strongly that would affect Jounouchi. To hear Yuugi say “I love you” using a word as strong as “daisuki” . . . I doubt he was able to even fully process how that made him feel until days later, much less in the minute he had before Yuugi’s life points hit zero and the anchor dropped. For someone who feels as if he’s never been good enough, for someone who has to deal with the fact that his own parents don’t love him . . . being told that someone he cherishes and holds so highly does love him is beyond profound.

But then, to build on that — the anchor drops, they’re dragged under the ocean waves, Jounouchi frees Yuugi from the cuff. He apologizes . . . and then he says thank you with a soft smile on his face. Jounouchi knows he’s going to die (although he is going to try to use the key on his own cuff just in case), but he’s still thanking Yuugi while smiling. He’s thanking Yuugi for loving him. He is, indirectly, saying that he loves Yuugi, too. And he smiles as Yuugi’s eyes open a little, because if nothing else he wants Yuugi’s last image of him to be one of him smiling in gratitude and love.

Excuse me while I go cry at this beautiful and poignant moment. 

(But also yes, the entire scene really does come off as a romantic confession, especially in the original Japanese, and especially when you compare it to romantic confessions in other manga aimed at the same demographic, and if one of them was a girl there wouldn’t even be a question about whether it was romantic or not, thank you and goodnight.)

[nolifepoints]

“May all your marshmallows burn.” You choose the ship!

I know this has been in my ask box since December. Sorry for the wait! I got… a little carried away. I sort of wanted to contribute to Pridecember even though I’d never written pride before, but I also wanted to add another ship Cupcake likes, and… my brain chose puff.  Which I’d also never written before. Lol.

So, please, enjoy this silly fic about Jounouchi inviting everyone to a campout after Atem returns in a secret bid to get to know him better and promptly getting mad that Atem and Kaiba are “ignoring” him. :v

Post-canon, returned Atem AU, established pride, unestablished puff, 1.8k words.

Excerpt:

“Thought you hated‘em,” said Jounouchi, leering at him.

Kaiba shrugged. “No,I just don’t find them very exciting.” Nonetheless, he extendedhis stick and allowed the marshmallow to ignite. Atem did the same,taking the opportunity to brush shoulders with Kaiba.

“That’s it?Just… ‘not very exciting’?” Jounouchi squinted at Kaiba. “Youfeeling okay?”

Another shrug. Thelittle glance at Atem told Jounouchi everything he needed to know,and the encouraging smile Atem returned? Damning.

Atem crouched by thebonfire. As it flickered, the firelight drew out the shifting,alchemical hue of his eyes, a color Jounouchi had never been able toput a name to. So like Yuugi’s. But the face was different now –familiar, in the abstract, a song he could recall only in fragments.As Jounouchi watched, Atem inched closer to the fire.

“Just, uh… becareful,” said Jounouchi, wringing his hands. He knew,realistically, that Atem understood the boundaries of his physicalform – even before he remembered himself, he’d piloted Yuugi’sbody, after all. But part of him still worried, especially now thatAtem was mortal again – as far as any of them could tell. Jounouchiwasn’t eager to test it.

“It’s alright,Jounouchi. I can handle myself around fire.” A smile played onAtem’s lips.

“Right.”Jounouchi flushed. Atem had probably been around a lot more firesthan Jounouchi ever had, now that he could remember them. “So, youwant to-” He paused as Atem moved back and settled beside Kaiba.Several quilts were spread around the makeshift campsite (which wasreally just a secluded corner of the Kaiba estate), but of courseKaiba had taken up residence on the one furthest from Jounouchi. Ofcourse Atem had to join him.

“To what?” Atemblinked up at him, still smiling. At least he looked eager enough.

“Maybe… roastsome marshmallows?” Jounouchi indicated the bag at his feet,alongside several clean sticks he had gathered earlier in the day.

Atem rubbed hishands together. “Sure! That’s definitely something I’ve neverdone before. I’ve never had a marshmallow at all.”

“They’re hardlyremarkable.” Kaiba scooted a little closer to Atem. “Just sugar.”

“You’re hardlyremarkable!” snapped Jounouchi, waving a stick in Kaiba’sdirection. “Don’t listen to him. Marshmallows are great,especially over a fire.”

“Can’t wait,”Atem said, letting his leg touch Kaiba’s. Kaiba said nothing at all– only glanced at Atem, who met his gaze and smiled. This touch wasnot accidental.

Jounouchi sighed andbegan spearing the fluffy confections. Even if he had invitedeveryone, in his heart, he had done this for Atem. He didn’t needto know him to love him. He already did, just as much as he lovedYuugi. Yet, their entire relationship passed in the shadow of oneworld-rending crisis after another. They would always have DuelMonsters, but what else was there? When had there been time foranything else?

It was just… beingalone with him was a little intimidating. What if they reallydidn’t have anything to talk about but Duel Monsters? What if…

He just had to workaround it, that was all. Ease in. Get everyone together. Theimportant thing was that Atem was here again. If it lasted forever –great. But they didn’t know that, and Jounouchi wasn’t going totake any chances this time around. The problem was Kaiba.

(Wasn’t italways?)

He didn’t protestKaiba’s presence here, in theory. Aside from the fact that he letthem use his yard for their faux camping trip, Kaiba could use anyreprieve you lured him into. Jounouchi suspected that, if not forAtem, he wouldn’t be caught dead here.

It wasn’t likeJounouchi begrudged them their happiness, either. Atem was happy– Jounouchi couldn’t deny it. It was even kind of nice to seeKaiba smiling to himself when he thought you weren’t looking. Hecould pretend he didn’t have feelings all he liked, but it wasobvious to anyone who spent five minutes with him that he was one ofthe most emotional people on the planet. They just weren’t usuallypleasant emotions. It was a change of pace, anyway.

But did they have toalways do this? Right in front of him? Leaving him completely out ofthe loop? To make matters worse, it would be a while before anyoneelse arrived. He was the one who organized this, so he came early.Kaiba lived here. And Atem… probably had been here already.

When he handed themtheir sticks, something else troubled him: Kaiba didn’t complain.He didn’t snipe. He just… accepted his.

“Thought you hated‘em,” said Jounouchi, leering at him.

Kaiba shrugged. “No,I just don’t find them very exciting.” Nonetheless, he extendedhis stick and allowed the marshmallow to ignite. Atem did the same,taking the opportunity to brush shoulders with Kaiba.

“That’s it?Just… ‘not very exciting’?” Jounouchi squinted at Kaiba. “Youfeeling okay?”

Another shrug. Thelittle glance at Atem told Jounouchi everything he needed to know,and the encouraging smile Atem returned? Damning.

“Well,” saidJounouchi, “how nice to see the great Kaiba lowering his standardsenough to eat marshmallows with a peasant like me.”

“It’s… not sobad.”

Jounouchi paled. Notonly was Atem flaking out on him, now Kaiba was, too. Not thatJounouchi really wanted to get into it with Kaiba tonight, but theyhad – a certain relationship. It was just how they were. Somethinghe could depend on.

Apparently, though,Kaiba had more important things to concentrate on right now. Likesneaking his gloved hand over Atem’s beneath their coat sleeves. Ifthey thought they were being subtle, Jounouchi would hate to seeobvious. “May all your marshmallows burn,” he whispered.

“What?” askedAtem, head swiveling in Jounouchi’s direction.

“Oh, nothing…nothing at all.” He tried to grin, though it was more of a grimace.There was nothing like witnessing a flirt fest to remind you that youdidn’t have a date for Christmas Eve. Or Valentine’s Day. Or theforeseeable future. Not a single romantic prospect to speak of.

Well. Maybe one. Butthat was – no. Just a little gaming here and there, and even thathad probably only happened because Shizuka had to drop out of thecampaign for a while. If he’d made a habit of staying aftereveryone else left, laughing into the night, enjoying the company ofthe dungeon master… that wasn’t so abnormal, was it?

A rustle drewJounouchi’s attention. Atem sat up now, drawing his hand away fromKaiba, and started forward. “Oh!” With satisfaction, Jounouchinoted that both of their marshmallows had burned… as had hisown.

“Oh, come on…”Jounouchi yanked it out of the fire and blew furiously, feelinganother pang of satisfaction as Atem observed him and did the same,and his heart softened as Atem stared at his charred marshmallow witha furrowed brow. “Aww, don’t worry about it,” he said. “Somepeople even like ‘em burnt. You have to try it at least once,right?”

That did the trick.Atem brightened, and, before Jounouchi could stop him, popped theentire marshmallow into his mouth. His eyes widened, and his handsshot up, hovering in front of his face. “Hot-!”

“You gotta let itcool more than that!” He started to say something else, but Kaibaclutched Atem’s arm in concern, and nobody was looking at Jounouchianymore. Again.

“I’m fine,”said Atem, murmuring thickly around molten sweetness, though therewere tears in his eyes. He swallowed hard and stuck out his tongue,sighing as the cool air washed over it.

“Do you needanything?” asked Kaiba, grabbing Atem’s hand. “A drink?”

If Jounouchi had towatch another minuteof this…

“Hello, everyone!”

There he was. Anangel, here to rescue Jounouchi from this unfolding disaster – tosave him from his loneliness. And also from himself.

“I’m not late,am I?” asked Bakura. His eyes swept over the deserted campsite, andthen – over Atem and Kaiba, hands still entwined. “Ah.” Heflopped down directly beside Jounouchi, who could almost cry. Atleast someone was nice enough to sit with him. Very close, infact. As close as Atem was to Kaiba.

“Not at all,”said Jounouchi, peering down at him. It wasn’t the first time he’ddone this, of late – sitting a little closer to Jounouchi thancircumstance strictly necessitated. Until now, Jounouchi had chosento interpret this innocently: Bakura simply failed to register hisintrusion on Jounouchi’s personal bubble. He was, after all, soeasily distracted. Now, though… with their shoulders nearlytouching… Jounouchi swallowed. “You cold?”

But that wasn’treally the question Jounouchi was asking. Of course he was cold. Itwas cold. He wondered if someone as… self-absorbed as Bakurawould even pick up on it, but the look in his eyes when he noddedbanished all doubts. Steeling himself, Jounouchi draped an arm overBakura’s shoulder, and when Bakura relaxed against him, he relaxed,too. “No one’s really here,” he continued Casting a sharpglance at the others, he added, “We’re hardly even talking.”

“Sorry, I- got alittle distracted,” said Atem, scooching away from Kaiba. “Let’s-”

“No, no, don’ttrouble yourself about me now,” said Jounouchi, frowning.

Atem and Kaibastared at each other, blinking. “Are you… not having a good time,Jounouchi?” Atem asked, genuinely confused. “I just thought-since you and Kaiba don’t get along so well, we were trying to-”

How could Atem be sodense? Jounouchi’s free hand balled into a fist. “Me and Kaibaget along just fine when he’s not ignoring me!”

“Ignoring you?”Kaiba was just as bewildered now. “I thought I was…” Hewrinkled his nose. “’Behaving myself.’” Obviously not hisphrasing. Jounouchi had one guess for whose it was.

“It doesn’treally matter now. You can keep ignoring me. Whatever.” He squeezedBakura’s shoulder. “I have Bakura now.”

Bakura laughed andgave Jounouchi’s arm a mock slap. “Be nice. They’re justenjoying each other’s company.” Atem couldn’t help but smile.Kaiba set his jaw, but he didn’t deny it.

“I guess,”Jounouchi said, narrowing his eyes at them. He couldn’t keep thesulk out of his voice. “It’s just-”

“Shh.” Bakurasnagged a marshmallow out of the bag and shoved it into Jounouchi’smouth.

“Mmph!” Herelaxed and swallowed the marshmallow, flushing deeper as Bakura’sfingers brushed his lips on their way back to the bag. Satisfied,Bakura offered him another, gentler this time. He took it, wide-eyed.

“There,” saidBakura. “That’s better.” Leaning close, he whispered, “Thisweek was awful, and I didn’t sleep at all last night. If you wantto show them up, take advantage of my temporary lack of shame anddesire for companionship.”

“Um,” saidJounouchi, swallowing his marshmallow.

“Even if it’sjust to spite them, you know, I really don’t-”

“No!” saidJounouchi, managing to startle all three of the others, tearingKaiba and Atem from their own whispered conversation. Now thateveryone was looking at him, Jounouchi wasn’t so sure hewanted it anymore. “What’re you waiting for?” he said, wavingdismissively at Atem and Kaiba. “He’s right. Enjoy each other.”

They gave up andscooched back together. Atem’s hand found its way to Kaiba’s– perhaps emboldened by the current state of Jounouchi and Bakura. It wasn’t the end of the world. Jounouchi would have other chances

Bakura, on the otherhand, peered at Jounouchi, head tilted. “No?”

Jounouchi sighed,whispering back. “I mean, it’s not- it’s more than-” Heexhaled, gratefully accepting the marshmallow Bakura extended, givinghim a moment to think. “Are… you doing anything on Christmas?”