#if he hadn't thrown away all the letters he got in the past he would've learned about kaname sooner

[uchi-mochi]

Regret pt. 2

Part 2 to 'Regret' as requested! <3

Warnings; slight spoilers for the Sebastian quest line, falling out between characters, not really proofread

Word count: 2.4K

Link to part 1 here; https://at.tumblr.com/uchi-mochi/regret-sebastian-sallow-x-reader/z2zdc0w6pqh3

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : - ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ - : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

It had been month since the events in the catacombs. You hadn't spoken to Sebastian since the incident.

When you got back to Anne and Solomon you were met with a devastating sight; Anne was crying as she clutched her side, Ominis desperately trying to calm her down. She was in pain, both physically and emotionally. Solomon was pacing around the living room cursing under his breath. You grimaced at the burn wound that was etched into his chest, most likely inflicted by one of the hexes that Sebastian had thrown at him.

Ominis had rushed towards you demanding an explanation. You couldn't remember what you had said to him at that moment, not that it really mattered. You wanted nothing more to crawl into Sebastian's sweet embrace, for him to tell you that everything was going to be alright while he gently stroked your hair.

But you felt like that Sebastian was gone.

You could only hope for him to return back to you once again.

Admitting that you missed the friendly banter and flirting, the midnight trips to the kitchen (where the two of you may or may not have been caught by one of your professors, earning the both of you detention), visits to Hogsmeade on the weekends and the not so effective study sessions.

You missed Sebastian Sallow.

Ominis had been practically glued to your side since the accident. You understood more than anyone that he was in desperate need of company after what happened; Sebastian was his best friend and he had to watch him turn towards the things he despised the most.

There was no point in thinking about how many times you had cursed Sebastian in your head.

And there was no point in thinking about how many times you had blamed yourself for the accident.

You needed to take your mind of of things and once again you found yourself in the room of requirement. In the past you would have gone to the undercroft. In the past you would've gone to Sebastian.

You shook your head in attempt to drive away your thoughts, focusing back on the book that was placed on your lap. Professor Hecat had given you assignment to study the patronus charm;

'This ancient and mysterious charm conjures a magical guardian, a projection of all your most positive feelings. The Patronus Charm is difficult, and many witches and wizards are unable to produce a full, corporeal Patronus, a guardian which generally takes the shape of the animal with whom they share the deepest affinity. You may suspect, but you will never truly know what form your Patronus will take until you succeed in conjuring it' your book read.

"This advanced spell is precisely what you need" Professor Hacet had said to you. "If you're able to master it, I'm sure no other spell in this class will be as difficult anymore. The trick is to focus on a happy memory, one you treasured most"

A happy memory, one you treasured most. All you could think about was Sebastian Sallow.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : - ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ - : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

'Meet me at the Slytherin common room entrance at midnight. I have something I need to show you'

Sebastian had send you an owl after classes had finished for the day. He wasn't in his usual spot in potions class or defence against the dark arts. Ominis was as clueless as you was about the Slytherin's whereabouts. Seeing the letter had made you smile; Sebastian meant trouble most of the time. But whenever trouble did arrive the two of you had eachother's back.

Midnight couldn't come fast enough. Dinner was mostly uneventful except of the explosion coming from the Gryffindor table, most likely from one of Garreth newest potions. Once again, Sebastian was nowhere to be found.

It was very out of character for him to miss class. Sure, he'd get into trouble for all sorts of things but he was keen on learning. You had to admit you were slightly worried.

The clock couldn't strike twelve soon enough. You had spent the evening studying with Ominis to pass the time.

"You seem out of it, Y/n" Ominis commented. You internally groaned at how obvious your nervousness was to even Ominis. "Sebastian left a note on my door telling me to meet me outside the common room" you sighed. "and seeing how he wasn't in class today..." You looked at Ominis as he thought. "You never know what you're getting into next with him" Ominis said. You could spot a knowing glint of mischief across his face. You had learned how to read both Ominis and Sebastian quite well over the months you had known the two. "Don't tell me you know what he's planning" "I never said anything about that" Ominis said, ending the conversation.

It was now a few minutes before twelve. You had put more effort into your appearance than usual. As much as you didn't want to admit it you wanted to look good for Sebastian.

The castle seemed to look abandoned at this hour. The only figure you could spot was Sebastian who stood leaned against the wall next to the Slytherin's common room entrance. You had to admit he looked more put together than usual today. You were glad you weren't the only one who had put in the effort.

"And here I thought you weren't gonna show up"

"Just like you didn't show up to class Mr. Sallow?" You joked. 

"Very funny" Sebastian dramatically rolled his eyes but a smile still lingered on his face. He looked at you, admiring the way you looked, admiring the way the light of the candles illuminated your face so beautiful. "What's the occasion?" Sebastian asked with a smug tone lingering in his voice. "You"

Your comment seemed to take Sebastian aback. "I'm honored" He was clearly blushing as he fiddled with the sleeve of his robe. "You look beautiful, by the way"

"You look quite dapper yourself" the two of you had flirted from time to time before, but this felt different. The atmosphere had a different weight to it than usual, making you curious as to were the night would lead you.

-

"So where are we going exactly?" You asked for what was surely the hundredth time.

"We're almost there"

Sebastian and you had succesfully sneaked past both Peeves and the perfects that patrolled the halls of the castle. The two of you now found yourself in the highlands outside of the castle, close to the forest.

As you got closer, lights emerged from the grass as tens, if not hundreds of fireflies flew out into the night sky. Your eyes widened in amazement; you'd never seen anything as beautiful as this.

"Herbivicus!" Sebastian said casting a spell, making the flowers on the ground spring into full bloom. You gasped in amazement.

"Sebastian, this is amazing!"

"I knew you'd like it" Sebastian walked over to a blanket that was placed on the ground and sat down, patting the spot next to him. You followed him down onto the blanket and rested your head against his shoulder. Sebastian placed his arm around you, pulling him closer towards him than you already were. He smelled nice, floral with a hint of cinnamon. "You're so warm" you mumbled into the crook of his neck making him smile as he gently squeezed your shoulder.

"I noticed you were quite stressed these couple of days" Sebastian said. "I wanted to do something nice for you, then I came across this place and I immediately thought of you"

You hugged Sebastian tightly, earning a soft laugh out of the boy. "Thank you, Sebastian" you mumbled into his chest.

You couldn't be in denial of your feelings anymore. That night you fell even more for the Slytherin trouble maker than you thought you'd ever could.

That night, you fell completely in love with Sebastian Sallow.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : - ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ - : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

The memory you treasured most only brought you more pain. You wouldn't be able to cast a patronus like this anytime soon. Not like this. You sighed. Why did things have to be so difficult?

The 'if only's' spiraled through your head. You were so so tired of feeling this way. Tired of missing Sebastian. There had been many times when you were close to simply walking up to him, pretending that nothing had happened that night in the catacombs. That he didn't spiral as far as he did into the dark arts. That he didn't break all the promises he made to you and Ominis. That he didn't try to kill his uncle.

You knew that both Anne and Ominis were no where close to even forgiving him. But you, you wanted the man you loved back into your life more than anything. Though you didn't dare tell Ominis that, not after what had happened.

You were done with pondering in your chair. It was clear you weren't going to make any progress today.

Just as you were about to leave, the door to the room of requirement opened; the sly above your room turned dark, the lights that were still present in the room seemed to shine on you.

And then the figure stepped in.

Sebastian sallow.

You were frozen in place. Merlin, you did not expect him to find you here. You had wanted to tell him about the room of requirement in the past, thinking it would only be fair after Sebastian had showed you the undercroft. But you couldn't anymore.

"Y/n?"

His voice sounded more raspy than usual.

"Sebastian?"

You didn't know what to do. Then you remembered; the room of requirement showed you what you needed the most. In the past it had been a simple place to study. But now...

Sebastian closed the door behind him and stepped into the room. He seemed as surprised as you were.

But what could you say? What was there to say? You didn't-

"I'm sorry" Sebastian said, fists clutched against his sides. "I'm so sorry. I should've never gone as far as I did. The promises of the dark magic, the promises of that stupid relic led me down a path neither you or Ominis could've followed. And still, I was angry and confused on why you wouldn't help me"

"Sebastian-"

"No, please let me finish. I understand if you hate me, I understand if you want nothing to do with me anymore but I beg of you, please" He looked so disheveled. So broken and tired. Yet you saw a glimpse of the man you knew. "That day in the catacombs... It never should've even crossed my mind to hurt anyone in any way like that. I don't want to think about what would've happened if it wasn't for you. I'm so sorry, Y/n"

Sebastian was crying at this point. He took your silence as a sign to go, turning around to leave.

"Please, wait" you were desperate to release all the feelings you had bottled up inside for so long, and this was your chance. "Everyday I've tried to make you realize the path you were treading on. And when I saw what you were capable of at the catacombs I..." You paused and took a deep breath. "I've blamed myself everyday for what had happened" Sebastian wanted to say something, but now it was your turn to interrupt him. "And I know I shouldn't feel this way. These are not my mistakes, but living with them is so hard, Sebastian"

Sebastian hesitantly walked closer towards you. When he saw that you didn't flinch or step back he gently placed a hand on your cheeks, wiping away your tears with his thumb. You didn't even realized that you were crying.

"I've been such a dumb witted idiot, putting you through all of that. Just know that if you let me, I'll do everything in my power to make it up to you"

"Stopping with avoiding me is a good start" you said, making Sebastian chuckle.

"I wouldn't dare to anymore. Not now, not ever. I'm sorry I've put you through all of this"

Sebastian pulled you into a tight yet gentle hug, making you melt completely into him. You had missed this feeling so incredibly much. "You're so warm" you mumbled into the crook of his neck. Sebastian pulled you closer as he laughed softly. Merlin, you missed the sound. You pulled your face out of his chest. You wondered if it was just your imagination but it looked like Sebastian had grown over the month you hadn't talked to him.

His hazel eyes met yours. They were absolutely gorgeous. Sebastian leaned in closer to you, albeit hesitantly. His hand found his way back onto your cheek making you lean against his touch. A part of you still screamed for you to pull away, tell him that this was all a mistake. But you didn't, you couldn't if you wanted to. The man you saw in front of you was the Sebastian you so dearly cherished.

"This might sound highly improper, but can I kiss you?" Sebastian asked bashfully.

"Please" you whispered, and Sebastian closed the gap between the two of you without hesitation. Your hands found their way into his hair, gently pulling and playing with the locks making Sebastian groan as he deepend the kiss. The hand that was still placed on your waist gently squeezed your side. Was this heaven?

The two of you pulled apart in need of air. Your breathing was slightly out of control at this point. Sebastian scanned your face in search for any signs of regret, relieved when he didn't find any.

"I thought I lost you Sebastian" you whispered.

"I thought I lost myself too" Sebastian pulled you back into his chest. "Whenever I thought about what happened in the catacombs, I... I saw your face of disappointed, I saw how the person I had become scared you. And now I've vowed to never, ever hurt the person I love ever again"

Sebastian Sallow loved you. Butterflies erupted in your stomach at his words. Merlin, you were head over heels for this man.

"I've read about the room of requirement, about how it shows you what you need the most, and-" you had never seen Sebastian Sallow nervous before. You cupped his cheek with your hand. It seemed to calm him down. "And I'd like to stay by your side forever, if you'd let me"

"I would love nothing more, Sebastian"

[so-what-eichi]

new obbligato thoughts dropped but i don’t feel like compiling them here

just know that the mv and all those jokes dropped right after i realized that kaname might end up hating beemeru for doing his bestie dirty