#if buddie fans really want buddie then u need him to walk 100 miles thru the desert knowing what he's repenting FOR before he deserves buck

[dadvans]

on shannon.

shannon was not the great love of eddie's life, she was the biggest mistake that he could never reconcile, because she died. her death i think prevented eddie from ever doing any sort of meaningful self reflection on what kind of partner he was trying to fight for when shannon left him.

they were so young, and eddie liked the idea of having a wife who was a mother to his kid that he could escape from, because it meant he didn't have to put in the effort to maintain a relationship. whenever he was actually with shannon, he never allowed her any grace to suffer or make mistakes or be her own person. the only time he ever met her halfway was when he was chasing her, and he would chase her to the original line she had set in the sand, hoping after hope that he would finally step over it, which he still never did.

shannon wasn't the great love of eddie's life, and eddie should never have been the only love of hers. she deserved to find someone who would give and take to be with her. eddie deserved to see what shannon looked like when she was actually loved, and how she could have thrived in a partnership with someone who wanted more than just the idea of her.

and he still is just chasing the idea of her! beyond high school sweethearts, did he ever know or love the woman that she grew into while he was away, when she was being a mom, when she was dealing with her mother's breast cancer and a disabled child all on her own? he was so good at putting her in a box labeled Shannon and taking her off and on the shelf when he needed her, and he keeps taking that box out now and sorting through it without realizing or loving who she was outside of it. he deserved to be left by her, and it's a shame that she died, because he deserved to live with the weight of knowing she could have left for good and still lived and thrived. he deserved to be slapped in the face with all the things he never provided by seeing it in someone else.

so many of eddie's relationships are based on what they can give him, how he can be supported by them. i don't think he's ever been able to realistically support himself long term. i do really hope in the next episode we see him go scorched earth with everyone in a way that he has to learn how to live with himself without other people. and i hope that's how he gains closure on shannon. he needs to learn that she was never the love of his life because she gave him what she needed while living in the absence of his own affection and sacrifice. he wants to repent for something so bad, but he doesn't realize this is what it is.