#if anyone's curious HELL NAH I didn't manage to beat them lmao do i look like a gamer

[viridiave]

forced myself into a state where i can actually indulge in 8path for exactly a day and I'll probably fuck back right into the void after this. but hey. hey. if you have octopath 2.

play the update. play the update, it's like god - we were meant to love and fear it

my full notes (live reaction reenactment) on the update under the cut, SPOILERS AHEAD!

NOBLE TEAM

IT'S FUCKING REAL

I STILL CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE IT'S REAL

HHHUH

THEIR SPRITES ARE LOWER RES BUT IT'S NOT STOPPING THEM

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN THEY HAVE COMBO MOVES

WHAT

WHAT IN THE MOTHER OF FUCKING GOD IS THIS

FUCK EVERY POLL YOU'VE EVER SEEN ABOUT THE ORSTERRA CREW VS SOLISTIA CREW AIN'T NOBODY IS FUCKING SAFE

THEY CAN BOOST??????? HELLO???? FUCKING EXCUSE ME?????

god fucking of course Olberic has motherfucking BOLSTER DEFENSE

OPHILIA??? COUNTERS???? ELEMENTAL AND FUCKING PHYSICAL??? SINCE WHEN

OPHILIA AND ALFYN TAG-TEAM FUAOSJAKSAKSKA THEY HAVE MOTHERFUCKIGN COMBO MOVES????

OH MY GOD TRESSA AND OLBERIC TOO

MY ASS IS DEAD IT'S SO DEAD

NO OF COURSE HOLY SHIT OF FUCKING COURSE TRESSA ALSO HAS MOTHERFUCKING HIRED HELP AKJKAS

ophilia's buff rotation is interesting. i can't tell if she's going right-side down or if she's actively prioritizing certain members

WAIT THEY HAVE NEW VOICE LINES

HOLY FUCK????

i NEED to see the battle AI. show me the specs Square Enix I fucking beg you.

ALFYN'S CONCOCTS ARE SO MEAN OH MY GOD

CASTTI CAN DO FIVE AT ONCE BUT IT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER TO ALFYN

why did i try and face them with Noble Team members too

well okay i guess. i guess we'd just be straight-up dead if i didn't have castti teme and partitio here jesus Hikari's carrying damage

too bad i never use him as DPS

WH

TRESSA

TRESSA NO WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU INCREASE DEFENSE WHEN YOU GET BROKEN

TRESSA WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU'LL BUY MY FUCKING WEAPONS

WHA

WAIT YOU DIDN'T EVEN GIVE ME MONEY FOR IT I HAVE TO BUY IT BACK FROM YOU

Therion was a bad influence on her lmao

AND OLBERIC'S NOT WEAK TO STAVES RIP

WHY IS TRESSA WEAK TO STAVES

my ass is so fucking cooked

WH

THEY HAVE FUCKING JOB CHANGES?????

OH MY GOD SCHOLAR OPHILIA IS CANON

THEY HAVE NEW MOVES I'M DEAD I'M SO FUCKING DEADDDDD

WAIT

HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE

HUNTER ALFYN

I FEEL UNREASONABLY FUCKINGVALIDATED AKSJAKSAKSKAS

oh god what are Tressa and Olberic

hOLD UP ALFYN AND HIS ARROWS WAHAHAHAHAHA WHAT THE HELLLLL

oh.

oh my god.

w. warmaster olberic

wARMASTER OLBERIC IS REAL

….NOOOOOOOO I'M SO FUCKING DEAD WARMASTER OLBERIC IS REAL IT'S OVER IT'S SO OVER I'M DEADDDDD TO HIMMMMM

sidenote: i'm writing all of this after the fact, trying VERY hard to recreate my real-time reactions. and uh. this. this made me get up from my fucking chair and scream into a pillow so loud people thought i was getting anal

I didn't

oh. wait. if. if he's real.

and Tressa's on the field.

there she is. the motherfucker herself.

RUNELORD FUCKING TRESSA

I WAS DEAD BEFORE NOW I'M IN MOTHERFUCKING SUPER HELL. THERE WAS NEVER A CHANCE

NO OH GOD HERE IT COMES TRANSFER FUCKING RUNE

WE'RE PAYING FOR OUR HUBIRS WITH BLOOD AND THE SCREAMS OF THE DAMNED

…WAIT HOLY SHIT ALFYN AND OPHILIA ARE IN THE RED

THERE'S A CHANCE

THERE'S A CHANCEEE

HIKARI'S POPPING THE FUCK OFF

oh my god of course Brand's Blade is a 1 hit KO move

i'm scared. i don't want him to wreak havoc on me i need to keep fucking breaking him -

ALFYN'S DOWN

HE WAS THE MOST DANGEROUS ONE THAT'S GOOD

OPHILIA DOWWWWWNNNNNN

ALRIGHT JUST. TIME FOR THE 2 GOD MODE TRAVELERS I GUESS

god it'd be so mean if i saved Olberic for last. but he put that on himself he has motherfucking Physical Prowess as a passive

oh no Temenos is the only thing that can kill him huh.

OF COURSE HE GOES FOR THE FUCKING MAGE EVERY TIME

WH

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN THE RUNES BYPASS SIDESTEP???? THEY'RE ELEMENTAL NOW????

H E L L

OH SHIT TRESSA'S IN THE RED THERE'S A FUCKING CHANCE

TRESSA'S DOWN

alright 4 travelers at full health with sidestep and defense buffs out the ass. we'll be good we'll be good we can weather olberic. thank you Prayer for Plenty

THIS FEELS MEAN I REGRET IT NOW LMAO

THAT DIDN'T KILL HIM

oh no his full buffs

WAIT NO HIRED HELP BEASTLINGS. JUST ONE MORE

FUCK YEEEEE

w

what

wha wha what the fuck wai

w-wait

hu

H H U H

OPHILIA YOU WERE DEAD HOW THE FUCK DID YOU REVIVE EVERYONE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?????

WAS THAT JUST PHASE 1???

NO

NOOOOO WE'RE SO DEAD

oh wait they're changing back

…oh no. they're more dangerous like this somehow

WAIT

WHAT'S HAPPENING HUH

WHY DID HE CHALLENGE HIKARI WHAT

WAIT WHY IS IT ONLY THEM

HOW LONG DOES THIS FUCKING LAST FOR?????

they're just in a cycle of countering and evading jesus

oh ok that answers tha -

TR

TRESSA

TRESSA WHAT THE F U C K

TRESSA GIVE ME MY FUCKING MONEY BACK WHAT THE FUCK??? WHAT THE FUCK

HIRED HELP BEASTLINGS WAS THE ONLY WAY I COULD BREAK THEM THAT'S SO MEAN

oh my god i'm dead

TRESSA WHAT THE FUCKA SKAJSAKS SHE CALLED OVER THE FUCKING??? ROGUE CREW??? HOW

WHAT

WHY

WAIT

WAIT SHIT I'M JUST DEAD

…i need to lie down

ROGUE TEAM

okay rogue crew what do you have for me

i'm so scared oh my god

GOD

WAIT

THERION YOU SON OF A BITCH GIVE ME BACK MY ITEMS

THEY HAVE INCIDENTAL ATTACK???? FUCK OFFFFF

LINDE'S HERE

…OH FUCK LINDE'S HERE

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN CYRUS CAN LOCK HIS FUCKING WEAKNESSES

god of course he's DPS in this fight. cyrus is just. too much man

of course Cyrus is weak to Swords. and Daggers apparently

WA

WAIT WHAT

PRIMROSE???

FUCKING HELL

WELL OK PRIMROSE SAID HAPPY PRIDE MONTH SHE JUST ALLURED THRONE

O WAIT POG PRIMROSE AND THERION COMBO

SO

OH THERE IT IS CYRUS AND H'AAN COMBO!!!

…WHY ARE THEY BOTH SO BUSTED

did

did Cyrus just. give me a weakness.

what

what the fuck

AY YO WHAT THE FUCK

yeah ok i'm dead.

i'll. i'll try again later i need to see how Noble Team plays out till the end

ALRIGHT WE'RE BACK IN THERE WHAT DO YOU HAVE FOR ME ROGUE CREW

FUCK I FORGOT THIS WAS THE FIGHT WHERE CASTTI'S USELESS

oh my god they're cooking. i feel so unsafe. Therion is even more of a little bitch than usual

ALRIGHT GOD GUESS I'LL FUCK MYSELF WE'RE DEAD IKE 5 MINUTES IN LMAOOOO

MOTHERFUCKER I FORGOT H'AANIT HAS FUCKING PATIENCE

you know what Temenos doesn't need. Salt the Wound. why the hell did I put that on him

HOW LONG DOES ALLURE LAST FOR JESUS

oh my god Ochette. Ochette's Beastly Claws are NASTY damage woah. I need to make her do that more often

WELL ALRIGHT CYRUS IF YOU'RE GONNA BE A BITCH LIKE THAT

i wonder if they had to get chris niosi back for this role or if they just. had all these extra voice lines lying around

still not over the sprite quality being so drastically different lmao

hired help Beastlings save me. save me Hired Help Beastlings

O-OH. OH NOOO…

DAMN WHY CAN'T I HAVE THIS MUCH LUCK WITH BEWILDERING GRACE???

sidestep is saving my ass right now

I love that Primrose keeps piling her buffs onto H'aanit Square Enix said happy pride

HUH

MERCHANT THERION IS REAL LMAO

…OH NO DIVINE WIND

HE JUST STOLE OUR FUCKING LICENSES AKSJAS FUCK YOU THERION

AH THERE HE IS AKSJASK SORCEROR CYRUS - WAIT WE WERE ACTUALLY INTIMIDATED BY THIS STEPHEN STRANGE LOOKING TWINK LMAO

UNFORTUNATE

STARSEER PRIMROSE OF COURSEEEEE

AND THERE'S WARRIOR H'AAN JUST TO ROUND IT OUT

GANG'S ALL HERE SQUARE ENIX HAS SPOKEN

i could say i'm surviving but. the reality is that all 11 of my plums are GONE

alright Grail of Life don't fail me now

GOD OF COURSE SHE'D TARGET PARTITIO WHO HAS THE FUCKING DIFFUSE

alright time to stall

AAAAA THERION'S DOWN THANK FUCK

AIGHT SEE YA PRIM

CYRUS DOWN. STAY DOWN.

H'AAN LEFT ALRIGHT COME AND FUCK ME UP PHASE 3

what

what the fuck

i get ophilia and the aelfric thing but what the fuck happened here

NO FUCKING WAY THERION JUST STOLE OUR EX MOVES

GODDAMNIT TEMENOS IS USELESS NOW

GODDAMNIT TEMENOS IS EVEN MORE USELESS NOW AKSJA PRIMROSE STOP TAKING HIM

oh my god what do you mean H'aanit can also Provoke all

LINDE PHYSICAL PURSUIT I'M IN HELL

and Cyrus has. delayed attacks.

…good thing i never lasted long enough to figure out if that thing 1-hit KOs JESUS