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mirrortouchedsea · 1 year ago

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I belong with the salt and the sea and the stones (Save them all for me)

Pairings: Kaoru Hakaze/Kanata Shinkai

Notes: Fantasy AU, Work in Progress, Inconsistent updates

Chapter 1/? Next

Word Count: 6,831

Summary: When they asked him about what he had been doing out there, he told them about a strange blue haired boy. The servant told him there was nobody who could fit that description, as blue hair wasn’t natural and they were miles away from the nearest town. They told him it was probably just a figment of his imagination he came up with to help cope with the loss of his mother. Kaoru felt it deep in his bones that Kanata was real.

Read on AO3

---

Kaoru’s eyes burned in the sea breeze as he sat on a large rock far away from his father’s castle. He was eight years old and his mother had just died. His father has said something that was fuzzy in Kaoru’s mind now, but still stung enough that he ran away. Something about needing to grow up already.

The noise clouded his mind and made it hard to focus on anything, but the gentle lapping of the waves eventually calmed him down.

At some point he must have buried his head in his knees, and a gentle tapping on his foot made him look up.

“Who’re you?” he asked, a little irritated.

“I am ‘kanata’” the boy responded, curious green eyes staring right through Kaoru’s.

“I’m Kaoru.”

“It is nice to ‘meet’ you, kaoru,” the boy said, tilting his head.

It was strange to Kaoru, that another boy would be out here this time of day, the sun slowly setting over the horizon. There wasn’t a nearby village and none of the servants had ever said anything about having kids.

“Where are you from?” he decided to ask.

Kanata’s face turned sad.

“I cannot ‘tell’ you that right ‘now’.”

Kaoru’s face scrunched up.

“What do you mean?”

“I cannot say.”

There wasn’t any use in pushing the question further.

“Why are you ‘here’?” the strange boy asked, laying his head against his arms, which he had folded atop the rock.

Kaoru opened his mouth before closing it again. Why was he here? He was mad at his father, he was grieving his mother, his siblings were grieving in their own ways and were much too old to care about little Kaoru.

“My mom loved the ocean,” he said, avoiding a direct answer.

Kanata hummed and started drawing designs on the rock with his finger.

“Did something happen?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

Kaoru would have left it at that, but clearly Kanata was determined to do something about Kaoru’s bad mood.

“Do you want to play a ‘game’?” he asked after a few moments of silence.

“What kind of game?”

There wasn’t really anything to lose. He needed to get his father’s voice out of his head, and may as well try whatever game Kanata was thinking of.

Kanata dove under the waves for a moment before emerging with what appeared to be an oyster. The boy with blue hair smashed the oyster on the rock and started drawing something with the sharp edge.

Kaoru watched as Kanata scratched a few crude lines in the stone. They formed a small grid and Kaoru didn’t recognize it from any of the games he would play by himself in the castle.

Kanata drew a crude ‘X’ in one of the grid spaces and held the oyster shell out for Kaoru to take.

Kaoru took it but his confusion must have shown on his face, because Kanata began to describe the rules of the game.

“We will ‘take turns’ drawing an ‘X’ or ‘O’ in these spaces,” Kanata pointed to the little squares individually. “I am ‘X’ and you are ‘O’. Whoever gets ‘three in a row’ will win.”

Seemed simple enough. Kaoru drew an ‘O’ in the space opposite Kanata’s ‘X’.

He passed the oyster shell back to Kanata, and the game was over quickly. Kaoru had tried to block one of Kanata’s attempts at getting three in a row, only to be foiled by Kanata’s clever set up.

“You win!” he exclaimed, in awe of the strategy he had to put into such a simple game.

Kanata chuckled.

“Would you like to play again?” he asked.

Kaoru nodded and began drawing another grid on the stone before drawing in an ‘X’ in the upper right corner.

The two boys covered that rock in little grids with Xs and Os well into the night. At some point they had lost track of who had won more games, but it didn’t matter as they tried to outsmart each other the next round.

Kaoru almost didn’t notice how late it was until someone started calling his name. He looked up and saw that the moon was shining bright overhead with the stars. How long had he stayed out with Kanata?

“Sorry Kanata, that’s one of my dad’s friends calling me,” he turned to say goodbye to his new friend, but found that they had slipped away while he wasn’t looking. The only evidence of their encounter were the grids covering the rock and the broken pieces of oyster shell scattered around him.

Kaoru opened his mouth to call out to Kanata before he heard his name again.

“I’m coming!” he yelled as he stood up and stretched. His knees felt a little cramped from sitting on the rock all evening. He shot one last glance out to the ocean, hoping that Kanata might be out there and he could at least say goodbye.

There was nothing but the calm waves crashing to shore.

“Oh thank goodness, Kaoru you’re okay!” the servant said as they picked him up.

Normally Kaoru would protest against being treated like this, but tonight he just curled into their arms.

When they asked him about what he had been doing out there, he told them about a strange blue haired boy. The servant told him there was nobody who could fit that description, as blue hair wasn’t natural and they were miles away from the nearest town.

They told him it was probably just a figment of his imagination he came up with to help cope with the loss of his mother.

Kaoru felt it deep in his bones that Kanata was real.

---

Kaoru went back to the rock again the next night, desperate to see Kanata again. To prove that he hadn’t made up the boy in a fit of grief.

The remains of the oyster shell had been blown away during the night, but the scattered grids with Xs and Os remained.

He sat out on the rock again and dipped his feet in the water. Maybe Kanata will come back again today.

Over an hour had passed when Kaoru began pulling his feet out of the water and he had decided to just go back to the castle. Maybe Kanata was busy today, or maybe his parents had taken him back home, wherever that was, and they couldn’t meet again.

Maybe their meeting on the rock yesterday was supposed to be just that.

Kaoru had stood up and was shaking his legs dry when Kanata poked his head out of the water again.

“Kanata!” he exclaimed, quickly sitting down again.

“It is good to ‘see’ you again, kaoru,” the boy smiled at him, laying his head on his arms again. “I am ‘sorry’ for ‘leaving’ yesterday, but it is ‘dangerous’ for me to be here that ‘late’.”

Kaoru still couldn’t understand what Kanata was saying. It’s not like Kanata was a mermaid or something, right? His mom had told him those only existed in stories.

They were both kids though, so he probably meant it was dangerous to be out that late alone. Just like what his father’s servant had said last night.

But now Kaoru had proof that Kanata was real. He was right there!

Kaoru reached a hand out to touch Kanata’s hair, just to make sure.

Kanata pulled away before he could feel it for more than a moment.

“What are you ‘doing’, kaoru?”

Kanata was frowning.

“I-- uh…” Kaoru started.

What was he doing?

“I just…wanted to make sure you were real, I guess.”

“Why would I not be ‘real’?”

“I dunno, my dad’s…friend said that people don’t have blue hair.”

Kanata laughed.

“You can ‘touch’ it then, but please be ‘careful’.”

Kaoru gently reached out once more and gently grabbed a lock of Kanata’s hair in his thumb and forefinger.

It was grainy and scratchy, as if it wasn’t quite hair. Kaoru tried to recall one of the books he had read in the library about hair on sea creatures being less like hair and more like…it was on the tip of his tongue but he couldn’t quite recall.

“Why does it feel like that?” he asked, pulling away.

Kanata chuckled.

“I cannot ‘tell’ you yet.”

Kaoru groaned.

“When can you tell me?”

“Maybe when we are both ‘older’,” Kanata responded.

“That’s so far away though!” Kaoru wrapped his arms around his knees and laid his head against them.

They sat in silence for a few moments.

“Thank you, Kanata,” Kaoru finally murmured, letting the breeze carry his words away.

Kanata hummed and tilted his head as if he hadn’t heard what Kaoru had just said.

“I said ‘Thank you, Kanata’,” Kaoru said a little louder. “For yesterday, I mean.”

“You seemed ‘sad’ and I wanted to ‘grant’ your wish and make you ‘happy’. Are you ‘happy’ now, Kaoru?”

“A little bit…but what do you mean ‘grant my wish’?”

Kanata’s eyes widened, like that was something he wasn’t supposed to say to Kaoru.

“I…need to ‘leave’.”

Kanata tried to move away from the rock but Kaoru grabbed his wrist at the same time. It was wet and slimy.

“Promise me you won’t leave me, Kanata.”

Kaoru felt tears pricking at his eyes. He couldn’t have the only person who had ever treated him like a normal kid, like a friend, leave him like this. He wouldn’t let them.

“Is that what you ‘wish’?” he asked.

“Yes! Yes it’s what I wish. Please be my friend…” Kaoru felt the tears spill over as he pulled Kanata’s hand closer to his chest. “Please, Kanata…”

Kanata looked conflicted. His eyes went from scared, to uncertain, to a slew of other emotions that Kaoru didn’t have the words for before he finally settled on one. Determination.

“I promise that we will be friends, kaoru.”

“Pinky promise?” Kaoru let go of Kanata’s wrist and held out his hand, pinky outstretched.

Kanata looked curiously at his hand before holding his own hand up in the same manner. Kaoru linked their pinkies and shook on it.

“You have to keep your promise now!”

The two boys laughed at their deal and Kaoru felt like a weight was lifted off his chest.

---

Kaoru returned the next day, and the day after that. He came back to their spot as frequently as he could just to catch even a glimpse of his new friend, his only friend.

Some days he would sit out there for several hours and Kanata wouldn’t even peek his head above the water before Kaoru gave up. Others, Kanata would meet him there and practically jump out of the water to greet him.

Those days they would spend hours talking, playing games, just being kids. Both of them would come to cherish every moment of it, not knowing when their parents would take them away from each other.

It was one day at the end of the summer when Kaoru was told by his father that they would be returning to the city, casually leaving out the part about returning to a castle. Kaoru’s summer spent out by the ocean would be over.

That day, he walked back down to the beach, finding a familiar blue head of hair laying on their rock already.

Kaoru’s mood was so bad that he couldn’t even bring himself to call out to Kanata like he normally did, running and giggling and excited to see his friend.

He pulled himself up on the rock and began running his fingers through Kanata’s hair (something the other boy had grown more used to since their first encounter).

“Is something ‘wrong’, kaoru?” he asked, picking up on his mood.

Kaoru hummed dejectedly.

“Yeah. Father says we’re going back home tomorrow,” he sighed and turned towards Kanata. “I don’t want to leave you though.”

Kanata dipped his fingers in the water before doodling small designs on Kaoru’s feet and legs. Kaoru jumped slightly at the sudden touch but quickly relaxed and let Kanata trace the various designs.

“Will you ‘return’ here again?” Kanata asked.

“Maybe next summer, but that’s so far away. I don’t want to leave.”

Kanata tilted his head in contemplation.

“Why don’t we make a ‘promise’ then?”

Kaoru’s mind flashed to earlier that summer and their promise to be friends.

“Promise to meet again next summer?” He held out his pinky.

Kanata took it in his own, familiar with the gesture this time.

“Promise.”

And with that, their fate was sealed.

---

Kaoru wandered the palace halls when he returned. What was Kanata doing right now? Was he feeling the same way? Did he still wait for him at their spot, even though Kaoru had told them he was leaving?

Kaoru found himself in the library, flipping through books about the ocean and the creatures that lived there. Kanata still hadn’t gotten out of the water all summer and Kaoru was beginning to think something was up.

He may be 8 years old, almost 9 mind you, but he wasn’t stupid.

He found a few books on mermaids that his mother had insisted on keeping for him. He had always been a mother’s boy growing up, hadn’t he.

All of the books said that mermaids either weren’t real, or if they were, they avoided human contact at all costs. Was Kanata just a strange child from a nearby village? Nobody had ever mentioned a village that was close to their summer residence. Maybe they kept it a secret.

There was no way Kanata was a mermaid, Kaoru decided. Kanata just liked to be in the water. But how did he manage to sneak away whenever one of the royal servants called Kaoru back for dinner time? Surely he would have noticed footprints in the sand.

All of the information made Kaoru’s head swim. Everything seemed to be in conflict with everything else. Maybe he just wasn’t looking close enough. He would have to investigate further when he returned to their summer home the next year.

He closed the book and looked outside, realizing just how late he had stayed up again. Hopefully his father didn’t have any plans the next day and he could sleep in a little bit.

Kaoru padded through the halls as quietly as he could, being very careful to avoid slipping and falling. Most of the doors were closed and the only lights came from the wall sconces that had been turned down for the night. Enough to see by for the nightly cleaning but nothing more than that.

He was almost back to his room when he noticed that the door to his father’s room was open and the lights were on. Kaoru debated if he should peek in or just go to bed. It was getting late and he would get in trouble if they found him out this late.

He quickly decided to walk closer to the door and try to listen to what was going on, but he didn’t want to spend too much time lingering at the door.

“...blue haired boy at the beach?” He caught the tail end of a sentence.

“Yes, and it seems he spent most of his time down at the beach playing with his ‘friend’, though we’ve never seen this blue haired child.”

“Thank you for the information. You may go now.”

Kaoru quickly started running towards his door at that. It was only two doors up the hallway, he could make it before the servant walked in the hallway and noticed him.

He gently opened the door and prayed that it wouldn’t make any noise as he slipped inside and closed it again.

What had he just heard? His father was talking to one of the servants that had taken care of him over the summer, that much was clear. And it was someone who knew about Kanata, which he had only mentioned maybe once or twice before realizing nobody believed him about the boy’s existence.

Hopefully it was just nothing.

Kaoru took a deep breath and closed his eyes, trying to calm his heart rate down before bed.

In.

Out.

Kaoru opened his eyes again and got into bed, not even bothering to change out of his day clothes before falling into a deep, dreamless sleep.

---

Kaoru manages to avoid being asked about Kanata and what they did this summer. He overhears conversations between his father and his advisors late at night, discussing if the blue haired boy might be real, and what he could be.

Kaoru regrets saying anything at all about Kanata, but every night he prays to whatever god is out there that they don’t go looking for him.

He debates telling Kanata about everything next summer when he’ll be back at their summer home.

Kaoru is only 9 years old and has to consider the consequences of his actions in such a serious manner. It often keeps him up at night, waking him from nightmares where Kanata is kidnapped and forced to give up information about…mermaids? He can’t quite tell since the scene cuts out before he can try and save his friend.

Kaoru doesn’t get much sleep. He has bags under his eyes and less energy and everyone notices but nobody says anything. His family talk at him rather than to him, not that he minds much since it goes in one ear and out the other.

Everyone assumes he’s still grieving his mother and leaves it at that. And to some extent, it is. He still yearns for his mother’s touch, her gentle hugs and the stories she would tell him every night and the love he felt whenever he was in her presence.

He cries himself to sleep those nights, only to be woken up to nightmares of Kanata being captured and thrust into a reality where he has nobody to comfort him anymore.

---

The next summer, Kaoru bolts to their special rock. His eyes scan the ocean for any sign of Kanata: his blue hair, green eyes, odd splashing amidst the waves.

He even goes to shout Kanata’s name out before realizing that it might not be the best idea. So Kaoru sits on the rock and dips his feet in the water, kicking them gently to create little waves. He would do his best to wait patiently for Kanata and organize his thoughts.

He got there when the sun was still high in the sky and it was almost sunset when Kanata’s head poked out of the water. Kaoru almost jumped off the rock and into the water to give him a hug when he noticed the tell-tale green eyes and light blue hair. Kanata beat him to the punch and practically tackled him in a hug.

The two boys laughed for a few minutes, Kanata rolled off Kaoru and sank back into the water before Kaoru could get a good look at the lower half of his body.

Their giggles died down and Kaoru took a deep, shaky breath. Why did this have to be so hard? It’s not like Kanata was actually in any danger…right?

“Kanata, can I ask you something?” he said, looking down at his knees. His hands curled into fists on his lap.

“Of course, kaoru,” Kanata replied, laying his head on the rock like he always did.

“Are you…a mermaid?” he asked, still not looking at Kanata. He could feel his face heat up in embarrassment. “I mean…that’s silly. Obviously you aren’t a mermaid, those are only from fairy tales and it was stupid of me to even ask--”

“Kaoru,” Kanata interrupted. “I am a ‘mermaid’.”

Kaoru looked up, eyes widened in confusion. Kanata was…a mermaid?

Before Kaoru could ask what he meant, Kanata shifted and raised a tail partially above the surface of the water. It was a deep blue-gray color with shark-like fins.

Kaoru had never seen something so beautiful and he wanted to brush his hand over it, like he had with Kanata’s hair last year. He knew he shouldn't, especially since Kanata had hidden his tail from him for so long. He must have had his reasons, given how in the stories humans always hunted mermaids to show off and take them away from their families.

Kaoru didn’t know much about Kanata’s life in the ocean, but he couldn’t imagine taking Kanata away from it either. Even if it meant they got to see each other more often.

Kanata lowered his tail back in the water, creating a gentle splash as he moved back towards the rock.

Kaoru opened his mouth, closed it, and then opened it again. He was too awestruck to speak. His friend was actually a mermaid?

Can he touch Kanata’s tail?

Why was that his first thought? Kaoru slapped his cheeks and got his thoughts in order.

“That’s so cool, Kanata!” he exclaimed. It wasn’t a lie, Kanata’s tail was very, very cool to the 9-year-old boy with two legs.

Kanata chuckled.

“We are not supposed to ‘tell’ humans about our ‘existence’. Please do not ‘tell’ anyone ‘else’ about this.”

Kanata’s tone was more serious than normal and understandably so.

“Of course!” Kaoru said, maybe a little too quickly. “I pinky promise!”

Kaoru held out his pinky, which Kanata accepted with ease. Kaoru laughed and lay back on the rock, and Kanata pulled himself up to join him.

The two boys talked for hours, watching the clouds move and pointing out the different shapes (Kanata insisted they were all different types of sea creatures even when it was clearly a duck), catching up on the past 9 months of their lives. Kaoru found out Kanata’s birthday was only two months before his, and that Kanata had always wanted to try human food. Kaoru told Kanata about his mom and his fascination with the sea that she fostered in him.

Eventually, however, it was time for them to part ways once again. Kaoru couldn’t risk the castle servants catching a glimpse of Kanata now, and it was almost time for dinner, which meant they would be coming to get him soon.

“We will meet again ‘tomorrow’, yes?” Kanata asked, sliding back into the water.

“Of course! Wouldn’t miss it for the world!” Kaoru replied, putting his stockings and shoes back on. They would be full of sand and smell like sea water later, but someone else would deal with that.

Kanata chuckled.

“I look forward to seeing you ‘tomorrow’, kaoru.”

He slipped beneath the waves and swam away.

Kaoru swears he saw Kanata wave at him before he got too far away. Kaoru waved back.

---

That night, the servants asked him again what he had been doing out so late. Kaoru took a moment before answering, leaving them only with a vague “Playing in the ocean.”

It wasn’t a lie per se, but it wasn’t the entire truth.

He ate dinner with his family in relative silence, letting the conversation happen around him and only offering a polite nod when asked a question he wasn’t paying attention to. His mind was still on the blue haired boy he knew now to be a mermaid.

Kaoru eventually holed up in the library with some of his favorite books to read for the night until he got too tired or his candle burnt out, whichever came first.

He had grabbed a few books related to mermaids, ones that his mother had read to him when she was still alive. Kaoru could still see part of her in them, the little crinkles where she would hold the page, the tears when she turned a page too fast, excited to continue the story with him.

Kaoru could feel the tears pricking at his eyes, so he put the book down and grabbed another one, but it was no use. Every book in the library had been something his mother had picked out herself for everyone.

Kaoru decided that he had read enough for the night and walked back to his room. Just like he had a few months ago, he paused in front of the cracked door to his father’s quarters and listened in.

“--mermaids. I thought they were just a myth but could he really…” his father’s voice trailed off, but Kaoru could put 2 and 2 together.

Kaoru did not sleep very well that night.

---

“Hey, Kanata. Can I ask you a question?” Kaoru kicked his feet in the water, gently splashing Kanata’s face.

Kanata tilted his head. “What do you ‘want’ to ‘know’, kaoru?”

“I thought mermaids were supposed to keep their identity a secret, so…I was wondering why you told me?”

The question hung in the air for a long moment. Kaoru couldn’t bring himself to breathe.

“It is because i ‘trust’ you, kaoru.”

“Can you really trust me? I haven’t even told you about who I really am.”

Kanata furrowed his eyebrows.

“What do you ‘mean’, kaoru?”

Kaoru took a deep breath and stared at the water. He dipped a finger into the ocean and began drawing little circles with it.

“I…never told you that I’m a prince. And my dad is the king of this land.” He couldn’t bring himself to look at Kanata.

“Well I don’t see why that would ‘change’ anything between us?” Kanata responded. “I am also an ‘important person’ back home.”

“You are?” Kaoru asked, curious now.

“I do not think I can ‘tell’ you the ‘details’ though.”

“Is that why you always talk like that?” The question slips out of Kaoru’s mouth before his brain can keep up with it.

“What do you ‘mean’, kaoru?”

“I mean it’s like…” he had to pause for a moment. How could he begin to describe how Kanata spoke?

“It’s like…you emphasize random words more than others? And you pronounce things weird sometimes.”

“I think ‘you’ are the one who speaks ‘weirdly’, kaoru.”

Kaoru laughed.

“Well I guess we both talk weirdly then.”

Kanata chuckled and moved to sit on the rock with him.

“I trust you because you are ‘like me’,” he said simply, answering Kaoru’s earlier question. “I don’t think you would ‘tell’ anyone my ‘secret’.”

That made enough sense, Kaoru supposed. It’s not like Kaoru had anyone he really could tell, since he didn’t like his father and his siblings never took him seriously. He hated being so much younger than them sometimes, but it was times like this where he didn’t mind.

It meant he had Kanata all to himself.

He felt Kanata lean his head on his shoulder. The two boys looked out at the sunset together until they eventually fell asleep.

There was nowhere else Kaoru would rather be.

---

Much like the last summer, Kaoru spent his days running off to the beach, sitting on that rock where he had met Kanata all those months ago.

The anniversary of his mother’s death hit him hard, but Kanata proved more than enough of a distraction from the tense atmosphere around his family. It was so thick that week he could have cut it with a knife.

Kaoru was suffocating the more he spent around his older siblings and his father. Even though Kaoru was only 9 years old, he was expected to start taking on more serious duties in the next few years, and they only wanted to prepare him for that.

Kaoru just wanted to hold onto his freedom for as long as possible. So he continued to meet with Kanata and play games, swim, and make up stupid stories about the different people in their lives.

It was the only time Kaoru was ever truly free to be himself anymore.

He swore he would engrave these memories on his brain so he could think back on them when he inevitably had to return to the city at the end of the summer.

He also spent his nights having to sneak back from the library, where he was constantly reading up on mermaids when the weather was too bad for him to go visit Kanata. He would sneak past his father’s room and catch glimpses of late night conversations that he didn’t want to stick around for.

What he did manage to hear made him worry about Kanata, though. Did his father know about mermaids? Would they try to hurt Kanata and his family? Had they tried to do that in the past and were using Kaoru to get them to lower their defenses?

Was Kaoru hurting Kanata by being his friend?

These questions burned in Kaoru’s mind as he tried to sleep, but it was useless. By the end of the summer, the bags under his eyes were noticeable enough that even Kanata could no longer ignore them.

“Have you been ‘sleeping’ well, kaoru?” he would ask, always cupping Kaoru’s face in his hands.

“I just had a bad dream is all. Don’t worry about it.”

The response was automatic, devoid of any real feelings. It was a lie of course, and Kanata saw right through it, but never said anything.

Kanata would just offer Kaoru a place to close his eyes and said he would protect him from the bad dreams, “if that is what you ‘wish’.”

That’s how Kaoru slept the last month of the summer: long naps on the beach with Kanata stroking his hair and calling him a good boy. It was a strange habit that he had, but Kaoru didn’t mind.

It reminded him of his mother, and that was all he needed to relax to the touch.

He never had a nightmare while sleeping on the beach.

---

If Kaoru was being honest, it was harder for him to go home this summer than it had been last year. He and Kanata had gotten closer and Kanata was more open now that Kaoru knew about his secret.

The two played in the water frequently, Kanata using his tail to splash Kaoru on the rocks to taunt him into jumping into the water. Kaoru would retaliate by jumping in and tackling Kanata in a hug and dragging them both under for a moment until Kanata righted them and brought them to the surface, laughing and smiling.

Sometimes the two would swim out beyond the rocks, Kaoru clinging to Kanata’s back to stay above the water and Kanata would swim in slow circles and coax fish to the surface for Kaoru to pet.

Kaoru would spend the rainy days in the library looking for books on the fish that Kanata showed him, learning all that he could to try and impress his friend with his knowledge. Kanata would always smile and say that the fish loved Kaoru too.

All of that just made it harder for Kaoru to leave. The carriage was waiting outside and his father was calling his name, but Kaoru’s legs wouldn’t move. It was as if his legs had been screwed to the floor until one of the servants gently nudged him forward.

The tears came to his eyes as he made his way forward, arms hugging his torso to try and find some sense of comfort as he left their summer home behind for another 8 months.

Kanata will still be there next year, he told himself. Just hang out until then.

---

They were 10 years old the next time they met. Kaoru had devoured everything he could at the main castle’s library during his 8 months away and had way too many questions for Kanata.

Have mermaids always hidden themselves from humans? Why did they start hiding themselves? Have there been other humans who actually knew about mermaids? Is anything in the fairy tales he grew up reading true?

Kanata, for his part, did his best to answer these questions.

Mermaids haven’t always kept themselves hidden from humans, but recent events have made them hesitant to expose themselves. There were cases of humans using magic to come down to mermaid kingdoms, but most of their accounts were greatly exaggerated. And yes, there was a way for humans to enchant themselves to go under the water, but it only lasted a few days even when cast by the strongest of magic users.

Most of the fairy tale stories were just that, stories.

Kaoru became fascinated by the idea that people could visit the world of the mermaids.

“Do you think I could do that one day?” he asked, sitting in his usual spot on the rock and gently kicking his feet.

“You will need to ‘learn’ how to ‘swim’ first, kaoru.” Kanata replied, laying next to him.

Kanata had become more comfortable pulling himself out of the water around Kaoru since their first meeting.

“Agh, that’s true. My mom wanted to teach me but my father thought it was ‘un-prince like’ or whatever.” His face crinkled into a pout.

“Do you think you could teach me how to swim, Kanata?” Kaoru asked, turning to face the other boy.

“I do not have ‘legs’ so I do not think it would be very ‘effective’.”

Kaoru laid down and crossed his arms.

“But there has to be some way I can learn to swim, even if you can’t teach me.”

Kanata hummed in thought for a moment.

“I might know ‘someone’ who can help ‘us’ with our ‘problem’.”

Kaoru shot back upright again.

“Really!?” he asked, eyes shining in anticipation.

“Yes, but I will have to ‘ask’ him ‘later’.”

Kaoru nodded his head and moved to hug Kanata on the rock.

“Thank you, Kanata!” he said, nuzzling into the boy’s neck.

Kanata chuckled.

“Of course, kaoru.”

---

It was another two weeks before Kaoru got to meet Kanata’s other friend, a boy from a small fishing village nearby named Chiaki Morisawa. The boy had deep chestnut brown hair and brilliant red eyes, and entirely too excited to meet the other friend Kanata had apparently been talking about for the past two weeks.

Chiaki explains that he didn’t have time to come all the way up the bay until today, which was normally a day of relaxation, though his parents knew he liked to hang out with some kids from other villages in the bay. As long as he was back before the second meal the next day they wouldn’t worry about him.

Kaoru was a little shocked at first to see Chiaki as he was, in clothes that had seen better days but clearly were well taken care of anyway, and a straw hat that was on its last legs after who knows how many days on the water.

Chiaki was also shocked to find out that the friend Kanata had been talking about was the prince of the kingdom. Evidently Kanata had kept their unspoken promise to keep that a secret. Kaoru had to clap a hand over his mouth to keep him from yelling out how shocked he was at the revelation and had to bribe him not to tell anyone he was giving the youngest prince swimming lessons of all things.

Not that anyone in Chiaki’s village would believe him anyway, Kaoru thought, but he just wanted to keep these meetings as quiet as possible. What would his father think if he found out he had been meeting with a commoner, after all.

Kanata helps Chiaki pull his little boat to the shore and Chiaki almost tackles Kaoru in a hug as a greeting. Kaoru didn’t mind this behavior from Kanata, but he had just met Chiaki. Kaoru puts his arms up to brace and keep some distance between them until Chiaki pulls away.

There’s a sinking feeling in his gut when Chiaki pulls away with a slight frown, but Kaoru shoves that aside as Chiaki begins talking excitedly again about swimming.

Kaoru wasn’t wearing anything too fancy, opting for some simple cotton clothes that could be easily washed without issue, though they still seemed fancier than Chiaki’s own clothes.

Kaoru followed Chiaki into the water and listened to his explanation of simple swimming motions. They wouldn’t move beyond where they could touch the sand today, just so they didn’t have to worry about accidentally drowning.

First things first though, Kaoru had to learn how to float on his back.

“You’ll want to relax and lean your head back and keep your arms and legs straight,” Chiaki guided his hands under Kaoru’s back, and Kaoru had to try and not to flinch at the touch. Chiaki’s hands were much rougher than Kanata’s or anyones at the castle. But Chiaki was trying to be gentle and Kaoru knew Kanata was nearby.

He did what was asked and leaned his head back and arched his back. Chiaki’s hands guided his movements.

“I’m going to let go now, okay?” Chiaki said.

Kaoru couldn’t respond before he felt Chiaki’s hands leave his skin. It took everything in him not to tilt himself upright again. He closed his eyes and willed himself to stay in the arched position.

“Good boy!” Chiaki said. He must have picked that up from Kanata.

“Don’t call me that. Only Kanata can call me that.” Kaoru said, continuing to float.

“Oh, sorry!” Chiaki seemed overly apologetic over the whole thing. Kaoru didn’t say anything.

Once Kaoru was able to get himself from standing to floating unassisted, they moved onto basic movements. Chiaki found a stray piece of driftwood that would support Kaoru’s weight, despite how uncomfortable it was to hold, so that he could practice kicking his legs.

This part was surprisingly hard. Kaoru had to focus on keeping his legs as straight as possible while moving them up and down, while also making sure his hips moved in rhythm with them.

He still hadn’t quite gotten the hang of it by the time Chiaki realized he had to go home for the night.

“Just keep practicing…”

“Hakaze.” He doesn’t know why he gave Chiaki his family name.

“Right! Just keep practicing, Hakaze! I’ll see if I can come back again next week and we can keep working on swimming!”

“Of course,” he replied, with half a smile.

Kanata waved goodbye as well before helping Chiaki get his boat on the water and the two left to go back to Chiaki’s village.

Why was he so…disappointed in meeting the other boy? Maybe that wasn’t the right word, but he had been so excited to meet him just two weeks ago. Was it just the time that had passed? Was it the idea that Kanata, despite being a mermaid, was able to make another friend so easily? Did their personalities just not mesh very well?

Was Kaoru just being too hard on Chiaki?

Was he…jealous?

Kaoru didn’t want to sit with the thought for too long. He needed to get back again and change his clothes.

He walked back to shore and shook himself dry in the same manner a dog would before changing into his dry clothes. They still clung to him slightly but it was better than the dripping wet clothes he was wearing.

What was this heaviness he felt in his heart?

---

Their routine continued for the rest of the summer. Every two weeks, Chiaki would get towed over by Kanata on a small canoe and they would have swimming lessons. Kaoru’s progress was slow but it was paying off.

By the end of the summer, the three of them were splashing and having fun away from shore. Kaoru had grown more…tolerant of Chiaki. He didn’t flinch when the boy crushed him in a hug, but he still pushed him away once the moment grew too long.

He felt a pit in his stomach whenever Chiaki and Kanata seemed to be in on something together before dragging Kaoru out with them. He wasn’t an afterthought, clearly, but it felt like he wasn’t in on the joke.

He missed the days when it was just him and Kanata. They had grown fewer and far-between as Kanata kept telling Kaoru that it was just stuff at home.

“You do not need to ‘worry’ so much, Kaoru. There is just some…important business my family ‘needs’ me for.” Kanata told him one day, on a rare day where it was just the two of them.

“I just…wish that I could help you with it. I miss when we just got to hang out every day.” Kaoru felt tears well up in his eyes. Why was he crying over this?

“Fufufu, but we are both growing ‘older’ and being given more ‘responsibilities. You have not been able to visit the beach as often as you would ‘like’ either.”

Kaoru sighed. He was right. Both children were almost 12 now and Kaoru would have to give up all the free time he had enjoyed until now. But he still hoped that he and Kanata would be able to still be friends.

“Why is life so haaaaaaard Kanata?”

“I don’t know, Kaoru. But we will get through it ‘together’, yes?”

“Of course! I would never dream of abandoning you!”

“Then let’s make a ‘promise’.”

Kanata stuck out his pinky, a now familiar gesture between the two boys, and Kaoru gratefully accepted.

#shay writes #enstars #ensemble stars #kaoru hakaze #hakaze kaoru #kanata shinkai #shinkai kanata #kaokana #there will be other characters and some other stuff Later but for nowwwwwwww yeah.#chiaki is there he doesnt get a tag though #also uh. ch2 is written i just need to edit it but i dont wamna #if anyone wants to beta lmk i'll send you the link for it #but the first of a long process of me getting my fics transferred to tumblr text post format #enjoy!

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