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izzyy-stuff · 4 months ago

Text

𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐃 - 𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐈 𝐒𝐎𝐎𝐁𝐈𝐍

choi soobin x afab!reader

summary: After you found out the smarty-pants in your class was in love with you you thought it would be fun to play around with him a bit, but things take a wrong turn when he is the only one you can text when you are horny and he doesn't hesitate and runs to you, making you feel better than any of your ex boyfriends could.

words count: 3.9k

warnings: smut content, she/her pronouns used twice (in the texting part) sorry 🙏, oral, vaginal fingering, unprotected sex (don't!!), cum eating, gentle sex, squiting, idk tbh

You glanced to your side, watching the black-haired boy on the other side of the classroom as he wrote down some notes. If you were to be honest, you weren’t paying any attention to what the teacher was saying, so you had no idea what he was writing down either. But it didn't matter anyway, you knew he would let you copy his notes later.

It was one of the perks of having the class’s smarty-pants be in love with you. You chuckled when you saw him look your way too, smiling at him before you turned away again.

“What's going on there?” The black-haired girl next to you asked, her eyebrow raised as she pointed at the male on the other side of the class. “Why do you two keep stealing glances at each other?”

“You know Yeonjun, right?” You asked, watching as the girl next to you nodded. “Who doesn't,” your best friend scoffed. “What does he have to do with anything?”

“Well, he is the one that told me last week our little nerdy here has a crush on me. It all makes sense now if you think about it. I couldn't wrap my head around why he would always send me the lesson notes when I asked for them but not to others. I told Ryan he could ask Soob because I thought he wouldn't have any problems with it, but it turns out he only sent them to me to get me to like him, or something,” You explained, watching as your best friend laughed quietly.

“It's kind of cute though that he does that.”

“But I don't want ‘cute’ anymore,” you rolled your eyes. “I want someone who can actually make me cum and not just stare at me questioning why I wouldn't finish as if he even tried.”

“Okay, I know the last boy was a fail as fuck, literally, but who knows,” the black-haired girl shrugged. “You want to tell me you think he of all people could make me cum?” You scoffed. “Please, he probably hasn't fucked a girl in his life.”

You said that, but God, you had no idea what was coming your way.

“Who are we gossiping about?” You turned as you heard the male’s voice, scoffing at how needy he was for the tea. “No one,” you shook your head. “Your rival,” your best friend grinned, answering instead when you didn’t do so. The blond boy scoffed, looking at the black-haired boy. “Oh yeah, I am so sure he didn’t fuck a girl - or anyone else - in his life,” he agreed.

“I am pretty sure I’ve been with a girl more times than he has,” Ryan next to him nodded, joining their conversation. “Kinda crazy,” you commented, laughing. Before you could say anything else, you were stopped by the teacher hitting the board with his hand, making you look his way. “As I was saying,” he started his speech again, giving you a warning look before he turned around, facing the board again so he could write down a few things.

Your head fell on the table soon after out of boredom, and before you could even start paying attention to what the teacher was talking about, the bell rang, announcing the end of the lesson.

“Okay, guys, who is coming with me to grab lunch?” Your best friend turned towards you and the two boys behind you. “I am passing,” you mumbled immediately, not even fully sitting up and simply turning your head towards her. “I am going,” Ryan proclaimed, already standing up from his place, the blond following him right after.

“Okay, I see you guys later, then,” you smiled at them, waving them off as they left the classroom. You knew you should get up too and move to your next class, but you were starting to feel unwell, and the thought of getting up sounded terrible. You sighed, closing your eyes for a few seconds. You knew this classroom was empty for another hour or so anyway.

“Hey, are you alright?” You opened your eyes again upon hearing the soft voice and feeling the tap on your shoulder, blinking a few times to make your eyes focus again. “Mhm, sure I am,” you mumbled, sitting up straight as you looked around. The class was empty by now, only the two of you were left there. “Why? Were you worried about me?” You chuckled, teasing him. Suddenly, it was as if your headache completely disappeared when you saw the nervous look on his face. “Relax, I am joking,” you shook your head, but couldn’t hide your smile.

“I don’t want to annoy you,” you started, slowly packing your stuff as he stood beside you, waiting like a puppy. “But do you think you could give me today’s notes, Soob?”

“You-” he gulped, trying to ignore the nickname. There was simply something about you calling him Soob. “I don’t want it for free though. You could consider it as me owing you one and helping you when you’d need it?” You suggested as you stood up, grabbing your now packed bag. “Uhm, sure,” he nodded, not even paying full attention to what you were saying.

“I’ll text you tonight about the notes then,” you beamed happily, looking like a completely different person as you placed your hand on his arm as a sign of thank you. You were devastated minutes ago, but whoever would see you now wouldn’t believe him if he told them so. Soobin wasn’t sure why, but he was glad you looked fine again.

Soobin threw his bag on the side of his room, jumping into his bed immediately after the long day. He laid down on his back, simply staring at the ceiling of his room. He reached into his pocket for his phone, seeing two unread messages from his best friend. He opened his phone, staring at the two texts. “Look at Instagram” “Thank me later” There wasn’t much for him to question. Even though to many it might seem confusing, he knew exactly whose Instagram he should check. There was only one person that the two of them talked about together after all.

The black-haired male clicked on the icon, waiting for the story to load for a second. Then his eyes widened at the sight. It was a picture of you, but not just any picture. He sat up immediately, looking properly at your body. You were wearing a white top, cropped slightly above your waist. He couldn’t help but notice you weren't wearing a bra underneath, your nipples showing through the fabric. Then he saw the black miniskirt, that you definitely pulled higher than you should. He gulped, remembering how you touched his arm earlier today, your fingers brushing on his skin as your hair fell in front of your face.

He whined silently as he felt his boxers becoming tighter the more he stared at the picture, your body curves exposed for anyone to see. He shared the story with Yeonjun, his best friend, and immediately texted him how good you looked.

Only, did he not know it wasn’t Yeonjun he shared the story to.

Soobin stared at the messages, screaming as he turned his phone off faster than ever before. He couldn’t believe it. He just told you he needed you. There wasn’t anything worse that could be happening at the moment. Not to mention the image of your body was still stuck in his head, making him hard.

He stared at the messages again, his heart fighting with his brain at that moment. He didn’t want to make you do anything, he felt like it would be too forced, even though you were the one suggesting it. But a part of him knew this was his only chance. There was no way he could get you differently. He knew about your dating history, so he also knew you had never been with anyone like him. It was always the boys like Yeonjun, who just understood how to talk to girls properly, how to make them fall for them. But he wasn’t like that, he had no idea what he was doing.

And just like that, he was in front of your place, rethinking his decisions as he knocked on the front door, trying his best to ignore the boner in his pants that still hadn’t gone down. How could it be when you shared a picture like that with him?

“You came,” you mumbled as you opened the door, looking up at him. Soobin looked down on you, noticing the same top you had in the Instagram picture. He gulped, his eyes then falling on the bottom part of your body and the white panties that were the only thing you were wearing. “How could I not?” He whispered, making sure this picture would stay in his mind.

You grabbed his hand as you took him inside, closing the door behind you immediately. It was only now that you noticed how big his hands were against yours. You just hoped he could use them too.

Soobin blindly followed you to your bedroom, his mind full of thoughts about how he should go about this, while his eyes were stuck on your ass, unable to look away as you walked in front of him.

“Can I-” he started as his eyes followed you while you sat on your bed. “You can do absolutely anything, Soob,” you interrupted him, watching as his face turned red. “Soob? Soobie?” You smirked, noticing what the nicknames did to him. “Is that what turns you on?”

“Everything about you turns me on,” he admitted, slowly getting closer to you while you moved back, not taking your eyes off him. You didn’t say anything, you couldn’t. You simply bit your bottom lip as you found him above yourself, holding eye contact. This was becoming more intimate than you thought it would.

“Is it okay for me to kiss you?” He wanted to assure himself one more time. You thought about it for a second, not wanting to give him any hope, but also desperately needing his lips on yours. You nodded to him in the end, grabbing the collar of his shirt and bringing him closer to yourself, pressing your lips on his, your mouth slightly opened which only made it easier for him.

His right hand found its way to your boob, carefully sliding under your top, his cold fingers brushing over your nipple. You groaned into the kiss, clenching around nothing but thin air. It felt pathetic. He had barely touched you and you were already getting wet.

Soobin left your mouth for a second, getting a disagreeing whine immediately that made him smile as he started placing wet kisses all over your neck, slowly moving down to your collarbone and then between your boobs. Your lips parted as you breathed out from the pleasure, raising your head to look at him. “Mhm, take it off,” you whispered, your hand reaching for his sleeve. He didn’t hesitate for a second and listened to you, taking his shirt off while you took down your own, exposing your breast to him completely.

“Fuck,” he groaned at the sight, feeling more and more uncomfortable in his sweatpants. He ran his fingers through his hair, looking at your body one more time before his lips found their way to your breast again, his hand cupping one of them as he pressed kisses on your other boob, his tongue making wet circles around your nipple.

“Fuck,” it was you groaning this time, quiet moans escaping your lips as your nipples became hard at his touch. “Soob, please,” you whined, throwing your head back into the pillow. “Please, what? Hm?” He asked, not even looking up and just continuing what he had been doing until now, his lips moving down again, leaving wet traces on your stomach now as his hands found their way to your waist. “I don’t know. Just- fuck,” you moaned out again when you felt his lips on your clit through your panties.

“Just?” He asked again, looking up at you. You could swear you had never seen anything better in your life. The male was in between your legs, his breath landing right on your clit as he looked at you, absolute need in his eyes.

“Just fuck me already,” you begged, watching as he took down your panties, his eyes fixated on your already leaking pussy. “I don’t think so,” he informed you, moving up again so he would face you. “I doubt you could take it just like that,” he whispered, moving his fingers to your lips. You didn’t need to hear anything else and immediately opened your mouth, sucking on his fingers.

Before you could even register his actions you felt him slowly inserting his two fingers into you, carefully watching you. He did so to make sure he was doing everything right. You weren't completely wrong when you said he probably hasn’t been with a girl in his life. He couldn’t say he would have much experience, but all of his friends were sex addicts - and now he could finally see why - and they couldn’t keep their mouths shut every time the topic came up, so it was only natural for Soobin to catch on to a few things.

You gasped, your eyes rolling back. You knew there was an obvious difference in your hand sizes but god, his fingers were bigger than you thought. “Fuck, curl them now,” you commanded, not daring to look down. He did as you said, feeling his precum on his boxers. He wanted nothing more but to fuck you right then and there, but he knew he had to wait.

It didn’t take much longer for you to squirt on his fingers, especially after he added pressure to your clit too, his thumb making slow circles around while his fingers were stretching your inside.

“Can I eat you out, please?” He asked, looking up at you again, his thumb still rubbing your clit slowly. “Please, y/n,” he begged, making you go crazy. You weren't sure if it was the way he begged you, the way he said your name, or because of his breath on your skin, but you couldn’t say no to him even if you wanted to. “God, please do,” you whined out and just like that, his tongue was pressed on your pussy right away, not wasting any second of the time he had with you.

It had been months since you had cummed thanks to a boy, so you didn’t have any expectations for him when you invited him over. But you were wrong when you thought no boys knew how to take care of their girls anymore because he did exactly what he should, making you cum on his tongue a few minutes after he went down on you, not leaving your trembling cunt even then, letting you ride out your orgasm as his nose was pressed on your clit, his tongue carefully licking every last bit of your cum.

“Soob,” you groaned, pulling his hair, making him finally raise his head and look at you. “Fuck, you’re so pretty,” he mumbled, going up again to kiss you. “And delicious,” he informed you, pressing his lips on yours. “Fuck, Soob, you’re too good,” you mumbled before you kissed him again, slowly sitting up. “Come closer,” you said, grabbing the hem of his pants, and pulling him closer at the same time.

He groaned, his eyes shut tight, his lips unable to stay away from yours. You smirked into the kiss, your hand grabbing his trembling cock over his pants, making him moan. “I don’t usually do this but…” you started, breaking your kiss so you could look at his body properly. “You were so good earlier,” you praised him, not breaking your eye contact as you changed your position so you would be kneeling. “Pants off, baby,”

That alone was enough to make him go crazy. You calling him baby just did something with his head. And with his dick.

“Fuck,” You breathed out when you finally pulled down Soobin’s pants and boxers, your pussy clenching around nothing again. You knew he would be bigger because of his height, but this was more than you had expected.

He cupped your cheeks, making you look up at him. “Are you sure?” You chuckled, simply nodding. “I can take good care of you too, you know,” you proclaimed, looking up at him as your right hand wrapped around his cock, not breaking your eye contact. You knew it must have been making him go insane.

You started slowly, simply kissing his tip and licking off his precum. Then, you decided to try to take his full length into your mouth, but stopped shortly after getting to his half, already feeling like you were going to gag any second. There was no way you could do this.

However, Soobin saw it differently. To him, it looked like you were playing with him, moving slowly and carefully on purpose to tease him. His hand found its way to your head, carefully tugging the hair that was getting in front of your face behind your ears before he held your chin up, making you look at him, his dick still in your mouth. “Think you can go faster, pretty? Please,” He asked, hoping maybe begging would help him.

He groaned when he felt you suck harder, trying to go faster too but failing miserably. He chuckled at the sight, his hand in your hair so he could control the speed himself. “If you want to stop, just punch me, or something, okay? Try not to bite my dick off if you can’t take it anymore, though,” he told you, and before you could even look up at him again and question what he was talking about, he was moving with your head on his own as if you were just a toy to fulfill his needs. If you were honest, you were glad he did so. It was turning you on more.

“Fuck, just a bit more,” he moaned out, thrusting his hips into your mouth as you sucked on him. He didn’t dare to look at you just yet, he felt like he would stop if he saw you in the moment, scared he might have been hurting you by determining his speed.

When Soobin finally looked at you there were tears in your eyes, and his cum was all over your mouth. He cupped your cheeks, wiping the tears from your eyes with his thumbs. “Sorry,” he mumbled. You looked up at him, high on all the pleasure you felt until now thanks to him. God, you knew you needed to do this more often from now on. You licked the corner of your mouth, making sure not a single drop was wasted.

“You’re not done yet, are you?” You asked, your puppy eyes almost making him cum again right away. “Fuck, no I am not,” he answered, leaning down to you to kiss you again.

Soon after, Soobin found himself sitting on the edge of your bed, his back pressed against the white walls while you sat on him, your head on his shoulder, biting into his skin so you wouldn’t get too loud as he fucked you. Holding your ass, he was helping you remain at the same speed, moaning along with you. “So close, Soob,” you cried out. “Hold in a bit more,” he whispered, closing his eyes as he felt himself getting closer to finishing again, too.

“Fuck,” you breathed out, a mixture of your own and Soobin’s cum leaking from your pussy. You raised your head slowly, your cheeks completely red as you looked into his eyes, still sitting on his cock. “Soob, this was the best sex I’ve ever had. God, you were so good.” He bit onto his bottom lip, watching your fucked out face. “Oh, yeah?” He asked, even more embarrassed than you were. “Does that mean you’ll let me fuck you again next time?”

“Soob…” you mumbled, just watching him for a second before you carefully got off him. He just shook his head before you could say anything else. “I know, I know, don’t worry,” he muttered. “I still needed to try it,” he smiled awkwardly, his dimples being the cutest thing you had ever seen. “Let me help you clean yourself up before I leave. It's the least I can do,” He suggested. You nodded to him, convinced this was the last time you were together like this. You couldn't be more wrong though.

You knew you couldn’t stay away from him for too long when he helped you to get into your bathroom and his fingers found their way to your clit again, making you melt at his touch. Even worse was when he carried you to your bed after he switched your bedsheet for you, asking you to let him eat you out one more time before he would leave you alone for good.

You just couldn’t let him get away.

“Fuck, Soob,” you mumbled, sitting on the edge of your bed, watching him kneeling in front of you, begging to feel your cum on his tongue again. “You’re going to be the death of me, aren’t you?” His innocent eyes looked up at you, his hands rubbing your thighs. You sighed, “Just stay here.”

You could swear you saw sparks in his eyes as the words left your mouth. “Really? Can I?”

You nodded, agreeing. “Sleep here tonight, I’ll let you eat me out again next time.”

Soobin smiled proudly, his hands squeezing your thighs. “Only next time?”

“God, just come here,” you proclaimed, pulling him up from the floor into a warm kiss, feeling his hands roaming on your body again. The night was still nowhere to be done.

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illubean · 6 months ago

Note

Bit of a long winded fluff/crack headcanon request: Illumi, Feitan, Chrollo, and Phinks developing the most infuriating crush on a gn! Reader who is just a lazy sopping wet dog of a person?

Reader will nap anywhere.

Will just kind of flop where ever they are when under too much emotional distress and refuse to move

Hell, sometimes they to be physically scruffed and carried/dragged to do social stuff and does the whole liquid cat thing where they go entirely slack just to be difficult. Overall reader's pretty reliable and will (begrudgingly) do just about anything the guys ask if incentivized, they're a surprising understanding and active listener, a highkey terrifying and precise combatant, and could probably be bribed to do anything from cuddle and never speak about it to horrible violations of the geneva convention for snacks and a nice nap afterward. They're incredibly easy to please and not that most/any of the guys would ever admit it but not being near them makes everything feel exponentially worse.

But they're also stubborn, incredibly low energy, and frankly seem a bit stupid on closer inspection to the point the guys are probably questioning "no- god- fuck- why???"

HXH Men with Lazy!Reader

Characters: Illumi Zoldyck, Chrollo Lucilfer, Feitan Portor, Phinks Magcub Type: Crack, Headcanons, Gn!reader

IM NOT DEADDD

Warnings: mentions of violence, mention of pregnancy like once

Illumi Zoldyck

if you didn't have any special nen or whatever he would've killed you by now out of pure frustration

you were set up in an arranged marriage because of your status, and at first Illumi could not care but surprise surprise he caught feelings eventually

and it was upsetting.

1) he was feeling something 2) IT WAS FOR YOUR STUPID ASS

ALL YOU DO IS LAY AROUND THE MANTION AND EAT HOT CHIP

you remind him of Milluki sometimes and that just makes him even more mad

every time you guys are sent on missions together he actually has to drag you because you refuse to do any type of physical labor

if he's feeling particularly nice he'll throw you over his shoulder instead

at this point Illumi is only sent on missions with you to make sure you actually do it

because otherwise you would never be anywhere on time...

you're able to handle your opponents just fine you just...rather not

which is part of the reason Illumi gets so irritated with you

you have so much potential yet don't utilize it

at this point the only solution he can think of is knocking you up (if ur capable of getting pregnant) and hoping the kids don't come out as lazy as you...

Chrollo Lucilfer

with him being the leader of the phantom troupe aka your boss you should probably listen to him without hesitation but your ass does not gaf

he's learned how to deal with you

he keeps candy in his coat pocket just as a bribe if you don't feel like doing something he's asking of you

when he runs out you begrudgingly do what he asks anyways but not without complaints

Chrollo doesn't really mind having to physically move you places himself, considering you do most of his bidding anyways

but that's only because he likes you <3

if you were anyone else he would leave them wherever and whether they get up and follow him back to base is up to them

and because he's so lenient with you you feel bad sometimes and end up sucking it up and walking yourself

he doesn't mind your laziness as much as the others because you get your job done and could probably beat him up if you wanted to so who is he to tell you how to live your life?

he never sends you on missions alone, he needs to be there to make sure you actually do it (no he doesn't he just can't be away from you for too long)

Feitan Portor

this man is on the verge of killing you.

what the hell is the point of Chrollo keeping you around if all you do is lay around doing nothing and talk back when asked to do something??

he swears you act like a 5 year old boy sometimes

when he needs something from you he will threaten physical harm but its actually just empty threats

theres no fighting within the troupe and no matter how much he wishes he didn't, he likes you

and surprisingly, his threats are incentive enough to get you up and moving

most of the time...

other times when you refuse to move or just flop onto the floor he is grabbing you by the ankle and dragging you the rest of the way to wherever you need to go

he doesn't care if you get scratched and bruised up, if you wanted to avoid that then you should've just gotten up and walked by yourself

sometimes to get you to do things the rest of the troupe offers you things on Feitan's behalf

"Hey if you get up and beat this guy's ass with us Feitan will carry you all the way home instead of dragging you" "Like hell I will"

after seeing you in action for the first time Feitan is even more upset that you're so insufferably lazy

you are quite literally one of the most valuable troupe members but you??? never want to follow orders?????? this is literally your job

you're lucky he likes you because if you were anyone else he'd leave you where ever you decided to lay down and let you die there

Phinks Magcub

this man is going to argue with you for DAYS

at this point he feels like you refuse to do anything just because it makes him mad

hes another one who tries using incentives but he never follows through with what he promises

when you ragdoll he will begrudgingly carry you wherever you need to go

this guy battles your laziness with loud, annoying and never ending complaints

and tbh? it actually works most of the time

he gets so annoying that ur like "FINE FINE I'LL DO IT JUST SHUT UP ALREADY"

if you catch him on a good day he'll carry you/give you a piggy back ride without complaints

sometimes he uses your laziness as an excuse just to hold you <3

sry this one is so short I cant think of anything

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gureumz · 1 year ago

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the thinker

rating: explicit

member: sunoo

premise: after someone on your dormitory floor dies, your professor, sunoo, seeks out to solve it himself. concerned and bearing responsibility, you offer to help (in more ways than just gathering evidence). what you discover is more than what you bargained for.

notes: MAJOR DEPICTIONS OF VIOLENCE AND DEATH, graphic retellings of murders, dark themes, again this is a dark fic pls if you can't stomach it don't force yourself, thriller/suspense, fem!reader, law student!reader, law professor!sunoo, student x teacher relationships (all concerned parties are legal), dom!sunoo, slight breeding, dirty talk, light gagging, mentions of pregnancy (unrelated to the reader), lmk if i missed anything i'm fading

a/n: second of my 1k follower special! this was a doozy. changed a little of the premise because the story just took a life of its own oops ! also a late birthday thing for our boy sunoo. longer than the last one please enjoy (responsibly).

ANOTHER DISCLAIMER: i do not, by any means, claim that this is how the person depicted in this story acts or is in real life. this is a work of fiction with a made-up persona. please consume RESPONSIBLY.

a figure stands silently outside her door.

all is quiet. the occasional laughter is heard, but nothing is amiss.

the figure knocks, bowing his head low. he knows about the eyes. the eyes all over the walls.

she opens the door. effortlessly beautiful. a swan blessed in grace.

the figure embraces her. cradles her in his arms. holds her in his hands.

the swan falls.

---

you couldn't wrap your head around it.

a murder. right down the hall from where you slept, where you studied, where you bathed, so oblivious to the carnage taking place just a few doors down.

you heard the guttural, terrified scream of her roommate. everyone on the same floor did. rushing out of your room, your own mind racing with thoughts of the unthinkable, you see yunjin sobbing on the floor in front of her dorm room.

the one she shared with kazuha.

the door was wide open, light spilling out onto the dim hallway. yunjin was still crying, clutching her stomach as if physically pained by what she's seeing.

"s-someone call security, police, anyone!" yunjin shrieked, hands reaching out towards her doorway, hesitant.

some students have rushed to her side to see what she's hysterical about. all of them recoiled once they saw what awaited them in the room.

"she's dead! kazuha's been attacked!"

you blink, unaware that your heart rate had picked up in the few minutes that you recounted the events of that night.

it's been a week now since the school announced an immediate lockdown of the campus. classes were canceled, no one was to leave their dorms unaccounted for. those who live in the university accommodations were not permitted to exit the campus unless personally picked up by their parents or guardians. those who had family in another district, another province, another country lamented feeling trapped.

'what if the killer comes back? isn't keeping us here the wrong move?'

'what if it's one of the students? they need to question us all. especially those on the same floor.'

you had the same thoughts. but you knew how important the first seventy-two hours of the investigation were. so, for the first three days no one left. every floor of every dorm building was guarded. no one was allowed to move about alone. always in twos or more.

you fidget now, unable to focus on the voice droning from the front of the lecture hall. you raise your eyes to see professor kim, pointing at a slide projected on the screen, explaining something about warrants.

he catches your eye and you immediately shift your focus to his presentation.

it's as if nothing happened. a funeral was held, a memorial erected for kazuha in the lobby of the law building, and eventually, classes resumed.

you've heard whispers that yunjin opted out of university accommodations altogether. no one has seen her since.

"right!" you hear professor kim bellow from the front, clapping his hands together and startling everyone in the lecture hall.

for someone with such an amicably handsome face, professor sunoo kim was a ruthless criminal law instructor. he was particular about punctuality and never entertained any suggestions regarding extra credit. he was, by all accounts, as stiff as a board inside the classroom.

"that's all the time i have for you all today. read up on the cases i gave you because i'll be expecting the digests by thursday," professor kim calls out, gathering his belongings.

a hushed chatter falls over the lecture hall as the students start to leave. there haven't been any memos or reminders put recently regarding the murder but it's still the same. in twos or threes. no one is comfortable moving about alone nowadays.

you start to follow, mindlessly collecting your papers and your laptop, but a figure approaching your desk causes you to stop dead in your tracks.

"________," professor kim's voice glides through your ears smoothly. he smiles down at you as you sink back into your seat.

"hi, professor kim, " you greet, nodding briefly in acknowledgment.

"how have you been doing? you've been uncharacteristically quiet today," professor kim points out.

it's true. you're usually one to participate in discussions, always caught up or ahead on the readings. but with the events of the past days, you couldn't bring yourself to care much about anything.

it's not as if you were particularly close to kazuha. she lived on your floor and you've had small talk with her in the common lounge. nothing ever went beyond polite chatter.

"i think everyone's kind of out of it, professor," you reply. "ever since...you know."

you look up to meet professor kim's eyes and his gaze softens when he realizes what you're referring to. he nods understandingly, watching as the rest of the class files out of the lecture hall.

"and whoever did it is still out there," you say lowly, voice dropping to a whisper.

"i know," professor kim agrees, voice suddenly gruff. you watch as his eyebrows pinch together.

"i've been...looking into it," professor kim continues.

you eye him curiously, your back straightening as professor kim perches himself on the table in front of you. you get a whiff of his perfume; sweet but still subtly masculine.

"the police are on the case, but of course i've worked criminal cases like this before, and with my knowledge of the school and its people...i couldn't help but pry a little," professor kim explains, shifting so he could look at you better from his vantage above you.

"what did you find?" you ask, feeling small under the watchful eye of your professor. he grins down at you, reaching over to squeeze your arm briefly.

"i can't tell you," professor kim deflects. after a few moments, he stands, walking back to his desk now but it's too late. you're intrigued, stomach churning in anticipation.

"you can't or you won't?" you call after him. professor kim stops and glances back at you.

"there's the ________ i know," he says, chuckling. he continues on to his desk, packing up the rest of his things. you watch with steely eyes.

"i don't want any rumors about this. it's a tragic event that has no business being turned into campus gossip that will most likely devolve into some urban legend decades from now," professor kim says pointedly as if berating you. you shake your head, unable to contain your curiosity.

"i won't tell anyone, professor kim, i promise," you implore. you rise from your seat, startling the professor.

he regards you for a moment, eyes traveling down your body and only now do you see professor kim. truly see him.

he towers over you, standing tall at a 5'10 or 5'11 based on your estimates. he dresses crisply, but you don't miss the brightly colored socks beneath his perfectly pressed trousers. you take note of the broad expanse of his upper body underneath the short sleeve button-up he has on.

his face, one that you've looked at two times a week for the past six months, fully came into focus now. striking eyes, a sharp nose, lips that were redder than your own. thicker, too. so thick and plump and always shining with what you could only assume was lip balm.

"sunoo," professor kim says after a moment. "call me sunoo when we're not in class."

you swallow, confused. "sir?"

"wrong," sunoo laughs. "just sunoo, please. i can't be any more than five years older than you."

that, too.

his age. so close to his students' that it's not uncommon for a lot of you to wonder if he'd ever messed around with one of you. you vaguely remember thinking that you wouldn't mind being that person.

"sunoo," you repeat. the name feels foreign on your tongue, as if you're stepping over a boundary you're not supposed to cross.

"okay, sunoo. i promise not to tell anyone what you know about the...the incident."

you catch yourself before you blurt out the word 'murder'. fear grips at you, as if saying the word out loud would bring down bad fortune.

sunoo takes a deep breath, slinging the strap of his messenger bag onto his shoulder. he approaches you again and with you standing, you're relatively eye to eye.

"you know what my consultation hours are. come by right after," sunoo says. you nod and seemingly satisfied, sunoo smiles, walking out the door of the lecture hall.

you linger for a moment before you realize you're all alon. a chill runs up your spine. you dash out of the hall faster than you've ever moved in your life.

---

"they're looking into the professors now. it's kind of fucked up, don't you think?"

you lift your eyes from the book you're reading, regarding your friend in confusion.

"what do you mean 'looking into the professors'?" you ask, scooting closer to hear better.

jake sighs, motioning for your whole table to squeeze in tighter. you scan the library quickly, to see if the coast was clear. your other friends press their shoulders against yours, waiting for jake to reveal what it is he has to say.

"they've cleared most of the students on kazuha's floor. it wasn't one of them." at this, jake turns to you and you nod.

you're brought back to the day after the murder. policemen knocked on everyone's door, questioning and taking witness statements. you had held your roommate's hand the whole time while you were being pressed for answers. you remember crying that night in fear for your own life.

"it only makes sense they widen their search," you supply. "they started with the professors teaching the classes kazuha was taking, correct?"

jake nods. "exactly."

"how is that fucked up?" sunghoon asks from your left, directly across jake. the latter rolls his eyes, tapping the table in mild annoyance.

"think about your own professors. do any of them look like the type to murder you? to want to murder you?" jake says in a whisper-shout. the whole table falls silent, nervous eyes meeting each other.

"no," sunghoon finally answers.

"right?! but what if one of them was capable. we wouldn't know. and if it was one of her professors, i'm sure kazuha suspected nothing, either" jake explains, emphasizing every word with a finger to the table.

you shiver, suddenly overcome with a dreadful fear.

"i need to go," you say, pushing yourself off your chair. you glance at your watch and realize it's time for you to meet sunoo, anyway.

you bid a quick goodbye to everyone before storming out of the library. the hallway seems even chillier than the freezing library. you wrap your arms around you protectively.

---

"you look shaken up. what's wrong?"

you swallow thickly as you shut the door behind you, eyes downcast. your breathing is labored, having run all the way from the library to the building that housed the professor's offices.

you look up to see sunoo standing by his desk, a look of concern on his face. he crosses the room in a few wide strides, fingers gently prying your chin up so you could look at him.

"did you run?" sunoo asks, reaching into his pocket. he hands a handkerchief to you, gesturing at your forehead.

"it's chilly in here. dry off before you get a cold," sunoo advises.

you take the handkerchief, absently dabbing at your forehead. you lean against the heavy wooden door.

"sorry, prof—i mean, sunoo," you begin, trying to steady your breath. "i came from a class and didn't want to miss you here."

sunoo smiles. "i was going to wait for you, anyway."

you meet his eyes but you say nothing, opting to straighten yourself up instead. this is the closest you've been to sunoo, and the way he looks so worried for you nearly threatens a smile out of you.

"you know, we could both get into big trouble for this," sunoo points out, walking back to his desk. he eases himself onto his chair, motioning for you to do the same on one of the two seats provided for his consultees.

you sit, suddenly nervous about what sunoo could possibly have figured out. you watch him rifle through a folder of papers before pulling one out.

"did you know kazuha had a boyfriend?" sunoo begins, setting the paper down and pointing to it. it's a copy of someone's student file.

you lift it to see better and a familiar name is typed at the very top.

yoshi kanemoto.

another post-grad getting his master's in anthropology or some other. part of the post-grad and law school varsity basketball team. he's a friendly enough guy, if just a tad bit shy. he and kazuha haven't been going out long, or so you've heard. you've seen him around your floor a few times and he didn't seem to ring any alarm bells in your head.

"it's always the boyfriend first," you observe.

when violent crimes against women are committed, the first place law enforcement looks into is any present or past relationships.

"accomplished young man, if i do say so myself," sunoo declares. "totally cooperative and was said to be devastated with the news."

"but...?" you ask, anticipating a caveat with the positive introduction.

"reports say they were fighting the night of the murder," sunoo expounds, shrugging.

"was there ever a history of violence? abuse?" you question.

sunoo shakes his head. "none that i've heard. but i was trying to pull some strings at the detective's office the other day. i guess i pulled one that put this whole thing into perspective."

you suck in a breath. "what did you find?"

there was a pause. sunoo purses his lips, exhaling.

"kazuha was nine weeks pregnant when she was killed."

you blink. it takes you a moment to realize what you just heard. you fall back against your chair, a hand coming up to cover your mouth. the hairs on your arm prickle.

"so...you think the fight was because of that. a-and yoshi killed her to get out of the responsibility?" you ask, voice trembling.

sunoo shrugs again. "maybe. maybe not. but it definitely puts kanemoto in a bad light."

you don't say anything, a weight in your chest rendering you speechless. you and sunoo sit in silence for nearly a minute, with sunoo carefully studying your expression.

"no one else knows this. only the detectives and me. and now, you," sunoo informs. "so, i need you to be very quiet about this."

"of course," you immediately agree. "i won't tell a soul."

sunoo smiles sympathetically, pushing himself off his chair. he comes around the desk, moving to sit across from you. he holds his hand out to you, waiting.

you place your hand in his, relaxing as he runs a thumb over your knuckles.

"i'm sorry for dragging you into this," sunoo says, patting the top of your hand with his other one. "but when my top student asks, it's hard to refuse."

you laugh at this, eyes landing on your clasped hands.

"thank you for entertaining my...unusual request," you say, chuckling lightly.

"anything else you've discovered?" you ask, averting your eyes to the papers on sunoo's desk.

"if...i'm allowed to ask," you add, peering back at sunoo momentarily.

sunoo hums, reaching over to the scattered papers on his desk.

"yunjin is taking the rest of semester off, i hear," sunoo says, idly toying with the files.

"smart move," he adds.

you nod, throat thick once again with uncertainty. you stand, pulling your hand away, much to sunoo's surprise.

"leaving so soon?" sunoo questions. you smile, nodding politely.

"it's getting late and i don't really trust the campus nowadays after dark," you reason.

sunoo nods. he gestures for the door and you follow.

"let me walk you to your dorm, then," sunoo offers, smiling. a flash of something passes his eyes and you recognize it as hesitance.

"you don't have to," you automatically answer. you pause, realizing that you'd be walking alone at dusk through paths and hallways where a killer may have potentially walked.

the thought alone fills you with a visceral fear.

"i know," sunoo agrees. he hurriedly rushes to his desk, grabs his phone and keys before returning to your side.

"and i totally understand if you don't want me to, but i would feel much more at ease if i did," sunoo says, eyes pleading.

you nod, already reaching for the knob. "alright."

sunoo seems relieved as the two of you walk out of his office. he locks it before you start your way down the hall.

the journey is quiet, with sunoo's hands in his pockets and yours clasped tightly around the strap of your book bag. the night is chilly as you cross the courtyard to get to your dorm building, with barely anyone out at this hour. the walkways are lighted up to the extreme, illuminating every corner of the campus that the beams of light can reach.

you arrive at the entrance to your building and sunoo turns to you.

"now i can go to bed later tonight without any worry," sunoo says with a smile, eyes shaping into crescents. you can't help but grin back.

"please be careful on your way back," you remind. "and go straight home, if you can."

sunoo chuckles, reaching over to lay a hand on your arm. you inhale, the warmth from his palm bleeding through your thin sweater.

"i will," sunoo reassures. "i'll see you thursday, okay?"

you reach up shakily to grasp sunoo's outstretched arm, your own fingers curling around it.

"i'll see you."

---

somewhere, in a shadowy corner behind a bundle of brush, the figure stands, unmoving. concealed by the darkness, he watches through the windows, etching onto his mind the little details.

someone is playing the guitar next to an open window, puffing out smoke despite the building's prohibition on any narcotic substance. someone else is reading, the thick tome in their lap illuminated by a nearby lamp.

and someone else is merely looking out into the night sky. a pretty bundle of hair on their head billowing in the soft breeze. they seem nervous, shaken. lines appear between their eyebrows. like they're deep in thought.

the figure in the dark watches the thinker a little bit more, entranced by their beauty. eventually, they're satisfied. they stalk off into the night, the image of that one person's hair burned into the back of their eyelids.

---

"now, i understand midterms are coming up so i need you to be more attentive with your grades," sunoo eyes the lecture hall, staring pointedly at everyone's faces.

"don't wait until finals to scramble for that passing grade. i try to be gracious, but it's not a free-for-all," he continues. sunoo closes his laptop and the screen behind him goes black.

"remember, pre-test next week. you have tomorrow, the weekend, and monday to study," sunoo says with an air of finality.

"you may leave," he concludes with a wave of his hand. the room lets out a collective breath.

a few students stay behind as the rest trickle out of the doors, hounding sunoo with questions. he answers, face stoic and eyes focused as he gives curt, direct answers.

you stand from your seat, hovering around your desk, unsure when the others would leave. finally, they seem satisfied enough with their ambush on sunoo and they walk off, letting the door slam behind them.

sunoo spots you and his expression brightens. he beckons you over and you approach him, watching his slender fingers work on the stacks of paper in front of him.

"i must say, i'm excited to read your digest later tonight," sunoo admits, a bashful look in his eyes.

you laugh. "who gets excited to read a case digest?"

"i do," sunoo responds abruptly. "only when it comes to yours, though. you're always thorough, including all the details but organizing them in a way that's quick and easy to understand."

"that is an impressive feat, _______," he adds.

you feel your face heat up, your stomach giving way as if falling to the floor beneath you.

"you give me too much credit," you answer meekly, avoiding sunoo's eyes.

"you're a talented student. and i'm sure you'd be a talented lawyer eventually," sunoo reassures, shrugging on his bag. he steps in front of you.

"do you have a class after this?" sunoo asks. you shake your head 'no'.

sunoo nods, eyes trailing off to the side momentarily, as if pondering on something. he turns back to look at you, his signature bright smile returning.

"do you want to grab a bite together?"

you're taken aback by sunoo's offer, unsure what to do or say. the automatic response making its way up was a polite refusal. but sunoo has done you a favor and you think that this might be him asking for something back.

"are you sure?" is what you opt to say. sunoo's eyes narrow but he's smirking, as if this wasn't what he was expecting you to say.

"yes, i'm sure," sunoo replies. "don't worry about all that ethical stuff. i'm only taking you out for coffee and some snacks. besides, we're done with my class now, aren't we? i'm just plain old sunoo to you."

you giggle. "you could never be plain to me."

sunoo's head bows, his cheeks rounding even more as a blush creeps onto his face. you watch, amused, as sunoo obstructs half of his face with his hand.

"just say yes, _______," sunoo says from behind his hand.

you laugh fully this time, noticing as sunoo's ears turn red as well.

"alright, yes. i'd love a coffee with you."

---

the campus cafe stays open until midnight on most days, but since the incident, they've bumped it down to 9 pm.

it's now 8:30 and no one else was at the cafe but you and sunoo, seated at a booth tucked away near the back. the baristas have started to discreetly clean up for the night, emptying the pastry case little by little, but neither you nor sunoo had the heart to suggest leaving.

"that's some gnarly stuff," you comment as you try to digest the story sunoo had just told you about one case he worked on recently involving one woman literally stealing another woman's baby from her womb.

"it was sad overall," sunoo counters, leaning back in his chair from across you. you feel his legs shift against yours and a shiver runs up your spine.

at some point during the hours you've spent talking, sunoo had managed to sandwich your leg between both of his under the table. he held it there, rubbing against your ankle from time to time with his own, like your very own version of footsie.

"the trauma the actual mother got from it was unimaginable. and as for the woman who took her baby away from her, it was clear that she was not right in the right state of mind. those around her refused to see it as that and withheld proper care for her," sunoo recounts, staring directly into your eyes.

his brown irises seem brighter under the yellow-tinged light of the cafe, dancing with something you can't quite put your finger on.

before you could say anything in response, sunoo reaches over the table to where your hand rests. he takes it in his, slowly intertwining your fingers together.

your heart hammers against your chest. sunoo is still looking at you, silent, but a thousand words poring from his intense gaze.

"i'm parked not far from here and my apartment's just a short drive away," sunoo begins, his thumb drawing patterns onto your palm.

your eyebrows raise, your chest heaving as you take deeper breaths. your body seems to seize up.

is this really happening?

"gonna tell me more about your cases, professor?" you ask, purposely taking up his title again in conversation.

sunoo smiles knowingly, digging the nail on his thumb a little deeper into your palm. your breath hitches and you nearly quiver.

"i can. but i'd like to know more about the stories you have to tell if that's okay," sunoo says, rubbing over the little crescent-shaped dent he made.

"what do you want to know?" you question, raising an eyebrow.

sunoo grins.

"everything."

---

true to his word, sunoo seems to want to know everything.

everything about your body, that is. but he reasons that your body can tell a million different stories about yourself, too.

"like how you like being kissed," sunoo says, pulling away momentarily from your lips as he slams the front door shut behind him.

he presses his mouth against yours once more and you groan, pulling him closer by the front of his shirt. sunoo slips his hands under your own blouse, nails dragging down your back as he guides you to the couch.

sunoo distances himself again, kissing down your neck, still clawing at your back. you squirm, whimpering pathetically.

"your body can tell me what your pain tolerance is," sunoo whispers lowly next to your ear, catching your earlobe between his teeth.

"and i have a feeling it's pretty high, sweetheart."

you moan, pressing yourself closer to sunoo. he retaliates by shoving you down onto the sofa. your hair is a mess, your blouse skewed and wrinkled on your body.

"it is," you confirm, quickly pulling your shirt over your head and tossing it to the floor.

sunoo bites his lip, fingers working deftly on his belt. he gets it undone and hurriedly unbuttons and unzips his pants, pulling it down along with his underwear.

"show me," sunoo commands, reaching down to grab your jaw, lining your face up with his half-hard cock.

you sit up, grabbing onto sunoo's firm thighs with one hand to steady yourself. you grab the base of sunoo's cock in the other, pumping slowly. gathering spit in your mouth, you envelop sunoo's length with your mouth, a hiss escaping the man standing above you.

"god, that mouth," sunoo begins, threading his fingers through your hair. "i knew it did more than give me the right answers in class."

you moan around him, peering up at sunoo through your lashes. sunoo's eyes darken as he watches you take more of him, going down all the way to the very base.

you pull back, coughing. sunoo tugs you closer by the hair and you yelp in surprise.

"come on, i know you can do better," sunoo urges.

you wrap your lips around sunoo again, sucking in hard. you start to move, bobbing up and down, taking more and more of sunoo in as you go. he doesn't shy away from noise, moaning and groaning as you repeatedly let his tip hit the back of your throat.

"fuck," sunoo mutters, yanking you off him.

"bend over the back of the couch, baby. keep that cute skirt on."

you wipe the spit from your chin, tears pooling at the corner of your eyes. despite your debauched appearance, looking as if close to crying, the wetness between your legs is undeniable. you reach down to pull your panties off, and a dark spot is clearly visible on the fabric.

sunoo takes it from you, grabbing your chin.

"open," sunoo says. you oblige, letting your jaw fall slack. he shoves your panties in your waiting mouth and you gasp in surprise. the sound muffles around the damp cloth.

"bend over," sunoo barks. "don't make me repeat myself."

you lean over the back of the couch, sticking your hips out as far as they would go. you hear sunoo give a sound of satisfaction, his hands moving your skirt up further your body and exposing your ass and drenched pussy.

without a word of warning, sunoo plunges in half of himself and you cry out. you breathe through your nose, your underwear constricting any airflow through your mouth.

sunoo eases the rest of his way in and your eyes roll into the back of your head.

'yes! god yes! feels so good, sunoo!' is what you want to say but it comes out a garbled mess.

sunoo starts moving, shallow at first, as if pacing himself. slowly, he moves more and more of him out of your pussy before roughly thrusting back in. eventually, he finds a suitable rhythm, his hands gripping at your waist tightly.

"feels amazing," sunoo compliments. "my favorite student. so good for me, so obedient, always doing what i tell her to do."

you whine, looking back at sunoo. you'd give anything to see his face up close at this moment.

sunoo leans down, kissing your temple. he reaches in front of you, pulling the panties from your mouth. drool drips from your lips and you sob in embarrassment.

"dirty," sunoo comments disapprovingly. "drooling all over my couch like some whore."

"i-i'm your whore," you croak out weakly. despite the wetness in your mouth, your throat had seemingly dried up.

sunoo seems impressed by this, chuckling darkly. "yeah? you're my whore? mine to use?"

you nod, moaning wantonly as you feel sunoo deliver a particularly hard thrust.

"yes. d-do anything to me, please," you continue. sunoo grunts, movements speeding up.

your head spins, a knot in your abdomen tightening with each drag of sunoo's cock against your walls. you press your face against the couch, sunoo's name falling from your mouth like a mantra.

"gonna cum? gonna cum all over my cock?" sunoo taunts, pressing his chest against your back.

"yes," is all you can reply. sunoo' bites into your shoulder and you shudder, the sting adding to the sensations coursing through your whole body.

"me too," sunoo says. "gonna pump this pussy with my cum."

you whimper pathetically and this eggs sunoo on. his thrusts turn erratic and you're thrown into another level of pleasure.

"sunoo, i-i'm—!"

your sentence is cut off as your orgasm rocks through your whole body, a high-pitched moan echoing off sunoo's apartment walls. he continues to stretch you out, despite the sensitivity, chasing his own high.

"just like that, sweetheart, so tight, so goddamn tight," sunoo chants. a moment later, he shudders, finishing deep inside you, his whole cock buried in your pulsating hole.

soft whimpers continuously escape you, too dazed to form a coherent sentence. sunoo pulls out moments later, replacing his length with two of his fingers. you protest but it falls on deaf ears.

"i know sweetheart, i know," sunoo coos, kissing down the expanse of your back. you slump against the sofa, weak and panting.

sunoo gently moves you to face him, a soft smile on his face, a total contrast to the filthy act you just participated in.

"feel good?" sunoo asks, kissing your nose.

you nod, eyes suddenly heavy. "s'good."

sunoo chuckles, wrapping his arms around you.

"come on, we need to get you cleaned up."

---

the figure observes through glass tonight.

some of the thinker's hair is pinned up, the other half of it flowing down their shoulders. they laugh at a joke.

the thinker's phone goes off. the figure in the dark gives a start, fingertips tingling in excitement.

the figure slinks back into the shadow.

the thinker will finally be theirs.

---

"they made an arrest today."

you look up nervously from your phone, having just read the local news reports.

"the boyfriend, right?" sunghoon continues, holding his own phone up for everyone to see.

just as he says this, the rest of the bar's chatter slowly turns grim and quiet as patrons, mostly students from your university, discover the new development in kazuha's case through their own social media.

"she was pregnant," jake says in disbelief, eyes glued to his screen.

"he probably thought getting rid of them was the easiest way out," sunghoon deduces.

"but on campus? by stabbing her?" you counter. "he could have gone about this differently."

"maybe he panicked," jake offers. "or wasn't thinking straight."

"they're still going to put him on trial so he still has a chance to be proven innocent," sunghoon says.

you shake your head, leaning back in your seat. "i'm not convinced, is all."

jake snickers. "you have a better theory, ms. law student?"

you give him a look and jake holds his hands up in defeat. your phone suddenly vibrates on the table, momentarily distracting you. picking it up, you see a notification.

you're at paradoxx bar right?

you suppress a smile, realizing it's a text from sunoo. you type out a reply confirming your location and he responds just as quickly.

come meet me outside for a bit? i'm in the alley out back.

you take a quick glance around the table at your friends, but it seems as if jake and sunghoon were engaged in another topic. you pocket your phone, clearing your throat.

"i'm gonna go meet a friend real quick outside if you don't mind. i'll be back before you know it," you say, sliding out of your seat, ignoring the curious looks from your jake and sunghoon.

"want us to come with you?" sunghoon asks.

you wave him off. "i'll be fine. it's a busy night. lots of witnesses."

jake snickers at this but a look of discomfort washes over sunghoon's face. you pat his back reassuringly.

"i won't be long, i promise," you say, already walking away.

you exit the bar and the wind immediately whips your hair around. you sweep it out of your face, making your way to the alley between the bar and the building beside it, the designated smoking spot for the bar patrons or any other people passing by.

you're startled to see that it's completely empty. worrying for sunoo, you rush the rest of the way, footsteps bouncing off the walls.

"sunoo?" you call out as you round the corner.

true enough, your criminal law professor is standing there, partially concealed by the shadows, but you'd know that strikingly pale face from a mile away.

"hey," he responds, stepping fully into the glow of the bar's back door light, the only source of illumination in this little corner. he's wearing a black hoodie and black jeans, making him look younger, possibly passing as a student himself.

"i missed you," sunoo whispers just as you step into his arms. he pulls you into an embrace, kissing the top of your head.

"we saw each other at class earlier," you point out, beaming up at him. sunoo chuckles, leaning down to kiss you square on the mouth this time.

he pulls away barely an inch, your noses still touching. his breath fans against your face.

"yeah, but i missed you," sunoo reiterates.

your mind flashes back to the night in his apartment, yet to be repeated. a fire ignites in you at the thought of having sunoo to yourself like that a second time.

"so much that we're agreeing to meet behind dingy bars now?" you tease, kissing a spot on sunoo's jaw.

sunoo hums, a large hand resting loosely around your neck. his grip tightens and you gasp softly, the first hints of arousal appearing within your core.

"exactly," sunoo responds.

you laugh lightly as sunoo backs you up against the bar's back wall, a knee pressing between your legs.

"here? really?" you ask, a hint of amusement in your voice. you wanted to berate him playfully for his choice of a quickie location but his hand around your neck tightens even more.

"s-sunoo—"

sunoo clamps down even harder on your throat and your eyes grow wide. you open your mouth to utter something, a safeword, but you belatedly realize you don't have one. not with sunoo.

"yes, here," sunoo confirms, smiling sweetly. you shake your head, tapping rapidly on his arm to signal that no, you need to stop.

but sunoo digs his fingers deeper into your skin. you gasp, but no sound comes out. your head starts to feel light and that's when you see sunoo pull something out of his back pocket.

the smooth glide of metal against metal reaches your ears. a moment later, you feel a sharp prick on your side.

a switchblade.

"do you get it yet?" sunoo asks, looking down at you with the same look he gave you whenever he asks a question in class. as if quizzing you on details of a case.

"i am the same height as kazuha's boyfriend," sunoo begins, piercing your torso deeper.

you tremble. you feel the urge to throw up.

"he doesn't dress a particular way, either. a mask, a hoodie with the hood up, and plain pants would do it. any camera that would have captured me going in and out of her room would have been fooled."

you claw at his arm now, frantically swiping at any part of him that you can reach, but you know that the oxygen is rapidly decreasing in your body, rendering you weak.

"you want to ask me 'how?'. 'why?'" sunoo continues. you wrap your hands around sunoo's arm that's holding you down instead, scared that any more movement would lead to the knife plunging even deeper into you.

"she was my closest colleague's student," sunoo says. "i saw her exit his office one time and i thought she was the prettiest thing i've ever laid eyes on."

"after you, of course," sunoo adds, kissing your cheek. you jerk away but pain shoots through your head.

you're losing too much air.

"it wasn't hard for me to gather enough information about her. you saw how easily i could weasel information out of the police. the university registrar is a walk in the park," sunoo explains with an amused laugh.

"now, why did i do it?" sunoo repeats. he smiles, placing another, longer kiss to the side of your mouth.

"just because."

what follows next is a blur to you.

you feel pain rip through your torso and you feel it repeatedly, over and over and over again. you want to scream. you have to scream.

but you can't.

the damp ground greets you like an old friend, slamming into you as you fall. there's a pain in your face as you lie facedown, in your head, too, but nothing compares to the burning you feel in your stomach, climbing up and down and all around all at once.

the pain disappears moments later, replaced by a dull, numbing throb. you feel cold but warm at the same time.

you feel sleepy.

you hear footsteps fading somewhere behind you but you don't give them any mind.

at this point, you just want to sleep.

the wind blows. your hair flutters one last time.

and then, you sleep.

#enhypen smut #enhypen scenarios #sunoo smut #sunoo scenarios #w: sunoo

483 notes · View notes

lemotmo · 2 months ago

Note

This was an interesting ask. Also I never thought of them as maybe being the same person. Do we think they might actually be the same person? Because that kind of makes sense 😳

Q. I know you're not answering anymore B/T questions but I would like your advice or opinion on something. I was/am a Buddie shipper. I will fully admit that I went over to the B/T side of things when they went canon but the closer it gets to the new season the more my Buddie heart is re emerging. But I'm concerned with how I'll be received back in that tag. I made B/T edits and everything so I'm not sure I'm welcome anymore. Should I change my blog name and start over? Just pretend like it never happened and hope no one calls me out? Or make a post about it and then not talk about it again? Genuinely interested in your opinion. Thanks in advance!

A. Hi anon, obviously I can only speak for myself here, but I would say it depends on what your behavior was like this off-season. It was not unexpected that some people would ship the current canon. What was unexpected was how nasty everything became as a result. I'm not going to point fingers one way or the other in this reply. Because we all know where everyone pretty much stands on that issue. If you stayed in your lane, so to speak, and just made your edits and enjoyed the content you saw, I don't think most people will have an issue. However if you were one of the ones going from blog to blog threatening people, calling them names or sending them hate messages, you're going to have a harder time. How you choose to re enter the tag is entirely up to you. If it were me though, I would probably make a post about it just so everyone knew where I stood now. But I'm analytical that way and that does not work for everyone. You're not obligated to defend or explain your taste. If you feel your behavior requires an explanation of some kind then how you choose to explain yourself is entirely up to you.

I will say that you're not the first person to message saying you've decided you really do prefer the other ship. Myself and many other blogs have received lots of similar messages. That was always going to happen. The novelty was always going to wear off. It's part of fandom. People come and people go. It's a ship with very little context. So it's difficult to keep large numbers of people interested. It's why they've resorted to suddenly having insider information from multiple, completely made up, sources. None of these people are real. They're trying to convince people to stay and this was the best they could come up with. I will say the set designer insider was the most amusing. Because basic media knowledge should have figured into their nonsense at least a little bit. You don't build sets for non main cast members (and we already have confirmation that he didn't get promoted to a main). And you certainly don't give the directive of 'masculine with MMA stuff' as your set description( give me a call break). It's utterly nonsensical and ridiculous that anyone would believe any of it. Or that anyone would be that desperate for followers. There are two people, anon, that I can think of who would never be welcome on my blog, and I'm starting to believe they're both actually the same person. If anyone has proof of them really being two different people please feel free to share because I really am starting to think it's all one person. As long as you're not that person/people then I think you can find your way back. It's fandom and at the end of the day fandom is supposed to be fun. Enjoy what you enjoy without insulting others and you will be fine. 😉

Thank you Nonny!

I admit that I hesitated on posting this. I don't want people to come jump at me for posting this ask. But the original asker asked a very interesting question, so here goes nothing...

Listen, fandom is supposed to be fun. It's a happy place where we indulge in our love for fictional characters. It isn't all that serious. I love coming online in the evenings (or quickly in the mornings) to look at some fandom stuff and reblog some things. I love it here and I love 911, but it doesn't consume me.

I wouldn't have time to let it consume me. I'm a single working mom. For me fandom is a nice way to relax. A place to get lost in for a while and then go back to the real world. It's fun.

So yeah, there is no requirement or list of things you need to get through to step inside of a fandom. You just start posting about it.

When 7x04 aired, I never made it a secret that I didn't vibe with Tommy. I posted about it, looking for like-minded people. That's when I got my first hate messages about being homophobic for not liking Tommy or not vibing with BT.

As time went on, I admit that I got angry there for a while for being accused of things that weren't true. I 'stayed in my lane' and, after my initial BT posts where I was critical of their relationship, I stopped using the BT tag or Tommy tag, because it didn't feel right and I wanted to avoid getting hate.

But yeah, I was angry for people getting upset for my opinions on a fictional character. So yeah, I lashed out in a few posts and I'm not proud of that, but I also soon realised that it didn't solve anything. It only created more hate. (That's also why I don't post anything BT fandom related these days, except for this post. But this isn't about hate. This is about answering someone's question.)

There's also the fact that I've been shipping Buddie for years now and yes, I still wanted them together. Finally our moment was there. Buddie was in reach. I don't multi-ship. All respect to you if you can, but I can't do it.

All of this to say that while I am upset and angry with people who accused me and others of doing terrible things, accused me of homophobia and biphobia, dropped really nasty messages in my ask box... I'm not angry or upset with people who actually ship BT in a normal way, like we ship Buddie here on Tumblr. I'm not talking about Twitter here, because that's a very different environment than Tumblr. Tumblr makes it easier to just avoid things you don't want to see.

So ship what you want to ship. I don't care one way or the other. It's all okay. We're all in the same boat. People love what they love. But don't be nasty about it and harass people over it in their asks and comments. That's all. And this goes both ways by the way. No matter which fandom you're in, don't go seeking out people or posts to comment to or to harass. I quite often come across posts I don't agree with from both sides of the fandom, so I just ignore that post and move on. It isn't that difficult.

So yeah, if some fans want to start posting Buddie again, I don't care. Good for you. If you only want to post BT, I still don't care. Good for you! It's all good. It's only fandom.

I do think that the biggest hurdle for the OP will be the blocking. At this point half of the Buddie fandom has blocked a ton of BT fans for various reasons and yeah, half of the BT fandom has blocked a ton of Buddie fans for various reasons. It will be hard to start communicating again if we can't even see each other's posts anymore and can't communicate directly.

That's all I have to say about this. I won't be answering any more asks on this topic, because I really want to focus on the show and Buddie now.

IMPORTANT! Please don't repost this ask and/or a link that leads straight to my Tumblr account on Twitter or any other social media. Thank you!

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.

Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

#anonymous blog I love #nonnies galore

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anakinsgirlfriendreal · 1 year ago

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Parts Of The Truth

Masterlist

Chapter Five

Warnings: discussion of fertility issues, maybe some spelling errors, a child, foul language.

Five chapters already? Insane, I love writing so much and idk but my motivation has returned after so long. PREPARE TO BE SICK OF ME.

"Padme" you stare at her with an awkward, anxious smile on your face. You're so fucked you think.

She smiles at you, no hint of hostility or faux politeness, a genuine smile, but her eyes seem sad. "Uh, I'm sorry to just pop in like this but I got your address from Ahsoka. Do you mind if I come in." You hesitate for a moment but you let her in.

She steps into the house, following your lead as you walk back to the living room, where Darcy was laying on the couch, eyes glued to the TV, still in her pjs.

"Sorry for the mess, this is what the house looks like when you spend an entire weekend with a three year old."

Padme chuckles, "It's okay, no judgement here. Hi sweetie" she waves at Darcy, you pray she doesn't see any resemblance. Darcy waves at her.

"Are you my mama's friend?" Darcy sits up immediately curious. You scoop her into your arms, kissing her head before placing her on the floor.

"How about you save the questions and go take a bath, let mama and her...friend talk okay?" Darcy pouts. "But-"

"Now" it comes out more firm than intended but it worked, she ran up the stairs to her bedroom.

Padme sits on the couch as you try to put away all of Darcy's scattered toys. "Sorry to just drop in. I just...I didn't know who else to go to, I figured since you work in the office you're the best person to come to about this sort of thing" she sighs. Your brows furrow.

"What is it?" You ask curiously.

She hesitates, kissing her teeth. "I think that my husband is cheating on me."

You're at a loss, opening your mouth but no words form, you sit next to her. "...Wow uhm, why...why would you think that" you try to sound as clueless and convincing as possible.

"I'm sorry to just dump on you. i just figured that if...is he seeing anyone in the office. Is anything weird happening that i should know of" she asks, it sounds like she's scared to hear the answer. you swallow the lump in your throat, pushing down your guilt, your body suddenly hot like you were about to combust.

"I'm sorry Padme, there's nothing I can think of." You sigh, going to the kitchen to get water, she follows behind you sitting on the stool at the counter. "He loves you very much, I don't think he would do that" you lie straight through your teeth, offering her a glass of water which she politely accepts.

"I know he does, it's just- Okay, about three years ago, we found out that i can't get pregnant, and we both really wanted a baby. So he put thousands of dollars into fertility treatments and different doctors and medications but every time we tried...none held up" She opens up to you. You feel sick to your stomach, guilt consuming you.

"Padme, I'm so sorry"

She looks at you, her eyes glossed over with tears. "He was patient and kind about it you know. He said that we'd keep trying and if it didn't work then we could adopt but then suddenly, he says that he's 'over it' that he was happy and that he didn't care anymore. I've been trying to push him to adopt but he's fighting me on it something about how he doesn't raise someone else's baby and it'd be better just us."

Your eyes gloss over listening to her, you knew why he stopped; because of Darcy, because you gave him what Padme couldn't, your stomach twists into knots.

Padme continues, "I figured that, maybe it was nothing but then he started coming home later, sometimes he wouldn't come home at all and he'd say that it was a late night at the office or that he was running over proposals so I let it slide you know. But I just can't shake the feeling that he's hiding something" she places her hand over your own. "Please, if you know something, just tell me"

You bit down on your lip, contemplating. What kind of a person were you? Sleeping with a married man, having his baby when his wife was struggling to do so. You defended your actions in your mind; to be fair; you didn't know. "I don't know anything that can help Padme, I'm sorry."

She sighs, "it's fine" she runs a hand over her face. "It's just nice to talk about it finally to someone, i felt like it would drive me crazy just holding it in"

You nod, completely understanding that feeling.

"I hope we can be friends." she smiles, you return the smile, nodding. Darcy runs down the stairs, in a fresh onesie, her hair brush and teddy in her arms, she climbed up on the stool handing you the brush to comb her hair. Padme smiles at her. "That's a cute bunny"

Darcy nods. "Yeah, his name is whiskers, my daddy gave him to me, my daddy always buys me stuffies." Padme smiles.

"Yeah? Your daddy sounds pretty cool"

"Mhm, he works a lot but my mama says it's so he could buy me all the teddies in the whole big world." She holds the bunny out to Padme.

Padme takes the bunny, playing with her, you feel nervous like Darcy may something and explode your life, you finish braiding her hair and she runs into the living room, back to watching Paw Patrol. Padme watches her tiny form, smiling. "She's bold"

You chuckle, "A handful too." You smile, talking about your baby, for a moment the guilt fades only to return again.

"Are you and her dad...together?" She asks. "Sorry i don't mean to pry"

"it's fine and no well, it's complicated" You take a deep breath. Padme chuckles.

"Ugh men, so annoying."

You laugh, "You can say that again. Hey, are you in the mood for wine?" You know it's an absolutely horrible idea to befriend the wife but you aren't exactly the best at decision making. Clearly.

"Day drinking? I love your style." Padme raises her brows.

You spent the afternoon, finishing a bottle of wine with Padme, while Darcy melted her brain with cartoons. You talked and laughed, trading stories and giving advice which you of all people shouldn't be doing. You had almost forgotten that you were responsible for ripping this woman's dream away from her, forgetting that this new friendship will inevitably take a horrible turn.

#anakin skywalker x reader #anakin x reader #hayden christensen x reader #anakin skywalker x you #anakin skywalker #modern au #ceo x assistant #parts of the truth

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solradguy · 1 year ago

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I hope this isn't too inappropriate a question, but I was wondering if you have any advice when it comes to binders? Like, I know a lot of the minutia, but are there any companies you recommend that make good ones? I'm new to the whole actually-doing-it part and I've found conflicting stuff so I though it was better to ask someone who went through that whole thing already. Tbh I don't know anything about your transition and you might not have even did much of that but you're like the main transguy I know

No worries at all!! I'm really comfortable talking about trans stuff and what I've had to do to get where I am, so if you have any other questions please don't hesitate to toss 'em my way and I'll do my best to help out. The only major trans stuff I haven't done yet are any surgeries and changing my name/legal gender marker (pain in the ass to do in Ohio....).

I got kinda lucky and don't really have much boob tissue going on so I don't bind very often, but I do have two GC2B binders: a full tank and a half one. The full one is a lot more comfortable, imo, because I can tuck it into my pants and it kinda like smooths my entire situation out instead of squishing just my upper body and chafing under my ribcage lol. Unfortunately, GC2B's binder quality has dropped BAD in the last 5 years or so. If you can get one for free or dirt cheap then it might be worth it, but otherwise I'd avoid them.

One of my other trans masc buddies has some binders from Underworks that he really likes. He used to have one of the GC2B ones and it got a huge hole right in the middle of it after less than a year... As far as I know, his Underworks ones are still holding up and it's been over two years now. He did say that they were pretty stiff when they first came in and that washing them with just a tiny bit of fabric softener helped. Be careful using too much fabric softener on them though or they'll loosen up maybe too far. Here's their site: https://www.underworks.com/tri-top-chest-binder

I've seen people say Shapeshifter's binders are good too, though I don't personally know anyone who has one by them. They're a lot more expensive than the Underworks binders.... Here's their site: https://shapeshifters.co/

Make sure you read the sizing charts!!! The very first binder I ever bought was WAAAAYYYYY too small because I didn't read the chart very well... I've found that following the chart and then going up one or two sizes fits the best, depending on how big your chest is/how much compression you'll need.

Here's a big spreadsheet document of a lot of other trans resources with comments on specific things for each site too, like where they're based, shipping details (if the packaging is discrete or not, etc), if they're a charity, and so on. There are other binder websites listed and sites for other gender affirming clothing and packers and stuff too: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1lSKoxVant40alYL-MZAP9QekUxjl3mH2EB3MidSk0b8/edit#gid=0

There's also this post with even more resources, but it might be a bit overwhelming going through it all right now haha Including it anyway just in case: https://solradguy.tumblr.com/post/719033735814742016

Good luck!! I hope you're able to find one that both fits and is comfortable to wear for long periods ^^

#asks #long post

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royaldepravity · 3 months ago

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Doll, I t)(ink it's time for everyone to see you for w)(o you really are, so follow t)(e following instructions~ Be a good girl, and strip down to be completely naked until t)(e collar comes off on t)(e 1st. Convene court, and )(old it, w)(ile you're s)(amelessly and openly masturbating. Suck off or eat out anyone w)(o you're talking to, w)(en you're not speaking. And offer your )(oles to everyone on t)(e palace staff as a free use cum-dump! And of course... Don't forget to ask t)(em nicely to decorate your s)(ell~ You can tell anyone w)(o asks t)(at you're being forced to do so, but you can't )(ide away, and you can't order t)(em not to listen to you w)(en you're begging for t)(em to use you like a free-use w)(ore~

This can only end well...

With great but ultimately meaningless hesitance, the Queen heads to the Throne Room. Fortunately, the room is empty when she arrives, allowing her to strip down (save for the collar) & take her place on her throne. She does cover herself with a shawl, but only until she actually has to be exposed. Once in place, she calls for her Court to convene, & waits.

It doesn't take terribly long for people to arrive, with a summons from the Queen being more than enough to compel most to drop whatever they're doing. After all, if she's calling them, it must be important. Wendy gets a few odd looks due to the shawl (& a few Guards seem intrigued), but nobody questions it. Once everyone has arrived, the Queen reveals herself, & begins the meeting.

The reveal is met with shocked gasps as those assembled watch their Queen openly playing with herself, one hand between her legs while the other toys with her chest. There is quite a bit of chatter, but the Queen is able to speak over it, projecting her voice supernaturally so that none can speak over her.

"People, people, please, calm down. I am sure you have many questions & concerns regarding the nature of this meeting, & I urge, nay, IMPLORE you to voice them, but before that, I am compelled to tell you something else first. As a show of appreciation for all of your hard work & loyalty throughout the years, from now until the 1st of August, I am offering up my body to you. Any & all who work within the palace are welcome to use me as a... free use cum dump... No matter the time, place, manner of use, or what I might be otherwise engaged with, unless it interferes with someone currently enjoying these benefits. No fighting over turns. I also encourage you to decorate my body however you wish."

Of course, this announcement is met with an even louder reaction from the crowd, but the Queen manages to calm them down, & get them to ask her questions. One of her advisors, WISELY, asks her what prompted this. With an audible sigh of relief, the Queen rises from her throne, approaching said advisor. As she does so, she points to the collar around her neck, labeling her Doll.

"You see this collar around me neck? It's one of those accursed anon magical items." She begins. As she gets in front of the advisor, she sinks to her knees, & begins the process of getting out his cock. Despite the shock of the situation, the simple sight of the Queen, nude, on her knees, is enough to ensure that it is already rock hard by the time she gets it out, taking it in hand. "As long as I'm wearing it, which lasts until August 1, whenever anyone gives me a command while referring to me as Doll, I am compelled to obey. And I have been commanded to act like this."

As soon as she's done talking, she takes the advisor's cock into her mouth, beginning to suck him off with masterful skill. The advisor groans, legs nearly giving out right away, but her manages to stay upright. The advisor asks if this is really ok, & the Queen pulls off long enough to reply "I have no choice in the matter, I have to obey." before resuming. After a moment, he asks her if she, Doll, is really ok with them taking advantage of this situation, & pleading with her to be honest. Once more, she pulls away. "I am more than ok with it."

Such a confession, while not entirely revealing, is enough that, when she resumes sucking, the advisor doesn't last much longer before cumming, the Queen gulping it down. She takes the time to milk every last drop from him before tucking his cock away, getting up, & beginning to return to her throne, only to be stopped by another question from someone else. Turning towards the new speaker, she heads over, gets down on her knees, & the process repeats...

Gradually, those among the Queen's advisors, as well as the other top ranking officials in the Palace, are able to figure out how to proceed. How to contain the spread of information so that this doesn't damage the Queen's (or Prospit's) reputation. What to do if an emergency comes up & the Queen is otherwise engaged. How to deal with any potential unannounced visitors. What sort of rules should be established around the Palace simply to keep the peace...

These discussions take some time, in no small part due to the fact that the Queen spends pretty much the entirety of them on her knees, pleasing whoever she last spoke to, at least when she isn't speaking herself. Though, with the distraction of the Queen's oral efforts (& her hands being used to entertain others when speaking to more than one at a time), these conversations don't exactly go quickly. And, once most of the big questions have been answered, & the Palace Officials & Advisors are able to figure things out themselves, the Queen is prompted to speak less & less. Still acknowledged & asked for approval, but they wouldn't bother her with such details on a normal day, much less now.

Of course, even once the overall policies for the next few days are sorted out (the the Advisors & Officials are all too drained to do much else), there's still plenty of other people that the Queen needs to address. Conversations left to have, proposals to go over, business to be done! And, with their beautiful & beloved Queen at their full disposal, well, let's just say that their motivation to work had never been higher...

#m!a doll collar #cullerofcute

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thedistantdusk · 2 years ago

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Hello! Hope you're doing good! I'm a huuuuge fan of your works! You're really brilliant istg! Just wanted to ask if you're working on any Harry Potter fics currently.... I understand if you don't want to answer this. It's absolutely fine if you're on a break or something. Hope you are happy and having fun! Take care, lots of love!

Hello!

Thank you, that’s very kind.

It’s… interesting to me that this ask arrived in my inbox late last night (when this old lady was dead asleep! 😴) because this is a topic I’ve struggled with for some time. I suppose now is as good a time as any to discuss it.

After immersing myself in original content for over a year, I’ve come to the realization that I’m better suited to original publication.

I can already hear the follow-up question (“Why?”)… and yikes, I’m hesitant to answer, because my reasoning is the sort of thing that’s often misconstrued/taken personally on Tumblr.

Please know that what I’m about to say does not describe a single person or event, and it’s absolutely not intended as a personal attack. However, since I’ve been wrestling with this for some time (and since I get frequent asks about it), I’d like to think my feelings are valid enough to explain myself.

So! Here’s an explanation, in the form of a story.

A couple of weeks ago, I attended a writing conference and got the opportunity to chat with an author who’s been doing this gig for ages, with a number of professional accolades to her name. She also started out writing Harry Potter fanfic, so we got to talking about the transition from fic to OC. She no longer writes fic (and didn’t write canon pairings, so had no overlap with my experiences in that regard) but she offered a sage piece of wisdom that has stuck with me since.

I’m paraphrasing, but the gist of what she offered is that in most cases, when comparing big-name fanfic authors to big-name OC authors, the standard of content quality is almost exactly the same— but the accepted standard of professionalism couldn’t be more different.

And maybe this statement is obvious to you, but it really threw me for a loop! 😅 To clarify, she wasn’t saying that this statement is necessarily anyone’s fault, or that individual fic writers are to blame for the overall culture of some (not all!) fandoms. She also wasn’t saying that any author— or any person, in general— deserves disrespect.

She was simply commenting on the difference of what’s considered “part of the job” when comparing reader interactions between fanfic vs OC communities. She wasn’t even speaking about Harry Potter in particular, so if you’ve had a different experience, I believe you! This was her feedback, and hers alone 😄.

Unfortunately, though, it did ring extremely true for me. Imo, when “professional” authors (and yes, I hate using that term, because all authors are valid) engage in objectively outlandish/unkind behavior, they often face consequences— at least in the court of public opinion.

However, I simply can’t say the same is true for fandom. Imo, there are few other venues where folks who actually want readers/followers are publicly supported in behavior that, in my opinion, should receive a call-out instead of a round of applause.

Again, this is just my experience, and I’m not describing everyone. Many fanfic writers (including the ones I beta for 🥰) behave as true professionals. And if you’re reading this and completely disagree with me, that’s totally okay! Nothing I’m saying should be intended to take away from anything you’ve experienced. I’m simply describing my own personal feelings/the feelings of a peer with whom I discussed the transition from fandom to original culture.

So… will I write fic again? Given the circumstances I’ve described, this will be a challenge. I love organizing fic exchanges and festivals, working on the subreddit, and supporting the creation of new content. But after witnessing, first-hand, the way that OC authors engage with the public, my experiences in fandom culture feel unnecessarily toxic by comparison.

Which leads me to my point: After quite a bit of introspection, I’ve had to accept that there were many times over the past few years when I should’ve been kinder in my public handling of reader interactions/Tumblr asks.

I, myself, fell into the “fandom trap” of responding to innocent questions in a way that embarrasses me now. I take full responsibility, but I can’t change the past. The most I can do is apologize and offer a greater degree of kindness in the future.

So! I know that’s a long-winded explanation, but the transition to OC has really opened my eyes. I wholeheartedly support anyone who continues to write fic/produce for fandoms; this, again, is literally just my experience. I’ll always be around discord for a chat and conversation, but I’m not sure if writing fic is for me anymore.

In closing, it saddens me that this post (which is literally about kindness/professionalism) will probably inspire passive-aggressive reblogs and hashtags, but this will only be a prime example of why HP content creation may no longer be for me 😅.

In short, this indefinite break will probably continue, but I truly appreciate your support ❤️.

Take care!

#not harry potter #fandom culture #fanfic culture

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moonlight-breeze-44 · 2 years ago

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Another Update!

Hey, friends! I'm back with another Fandom Update and this one is much happier than the last. After an extended break and a few months to heal, I'm excited and really pleased to announce that I'm coming back to the Shadowhunters fandom!

It's been a really rough few months, but I've managed to get through the worst of it with help and support from my friends, and now I feel ready to jump back into the fray. I've really missed fanfic writing, especially for Shadowhunters, and I'm so happy to be back at it again. Alec Lightwood and I have a lot of time to make up for.

With that being said, asks are open as always and I'm happy to announce that after I answer some prompts in my inbox that I feel I can, I will be opening prompts again! I can't wait to get writing and creating for any of you that may follow me and want to send in prompts and requests <3

As always, I will also be writing for other fandoms, so you can expect to see some Leverage, Criminal Minds, Supernatural, Detroit: Become Human, and various other obsessions bleeding through! I'll also be accepting prompts for those when I open my inbox officially again.

Thank you to all who have supported me this far, and know that I am so fucking excited and happy to be back. It's been a tough year, but I know next year can be a lot better. <3 Your support always has and always will mean the absolute world to me.

That's it for now, and if you have any questions or just want to talk, don't hesitate to drop me an ask or a message! I love you all.

~ Em

Here are some of my new works, for anyone who's interested :)

Jalec Secret Santa fic

Supergirl Secret Santa fic (rare pairs)

Supergirl Secret Santa fic #2 (Supercorp)

New Shadowhunters fic! (Read tags)

Shadowhunters Christmas gift fic for my friend Evi <3

Thank you!

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uppervalleye · 7 months ago

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Upper Valley Honda

Although Upper Valley Honda is based in Vermont, they cater to a sizable clientele from New Hampshire. When they get to White River Junction, they hope to visit the oppressed and try to mediate a settlement. There are no Upper Valley honda dealers near me that provide Honda service in the Upper Valley region, which includes parts of Vermont and New Hampshire. The parking lot can be accessed from the addresses mentioned previously. When it's most convenient for you, don't hesitate to stop by one of our many Honda dealerships. Speak with a reliable lender right away. We can fix your Honda on the same day you bring it in, regardless of how old it is. There are numerous reasons why the name Upper Valley Honda is intriguing. Situated close to Vermont's White River Junction, upstairs Valley Honda is a well-liked hangout for contented Honda owners. Now is the perfect time to stop by and inquire. Joining our team is an incredible opportunity for you to make an impact.

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It seems as though there is an endless Every Certified Pre-Owned car comes with a guarantee and has undergone a thorough 182-point inspection.

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From our large inventory, find the ideal pre-owned car for less than $15,000. You are welcome to look through the used car classifieds at your convenience.

It captivated my interest to the extent that I started to question my place in Manchester's social scene.

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translations-dark-matter · 9 months ago

Text

Living as an Extra in an Omegaverse novel

Chapter 67

I should have just let it go even after seeing it. If it's a gift, it should be used instead of keeping it unused. I shouldn't have made a big deal out of using the same fountain pen. I ended up shooting myself in the foot.

"Are you curious about this?"

"No, I'm not."

Even though I shouldn't have asked, Shin Tae-oh's raised eyebrow didn't come down easily. Without realizing it, Tae-oh found himself half-lying in the chair, examining the fountain pen from various angles.

“Jin-ha gave me a fountain pen.”

I could have just said that I didn't know because I hadn't unwrapped it.

"I thought it would be fine since I saw the secretary using it."

Ah, I've messed up.

I don't know if Shin Tae-oh set a trap or if I jumped into the pit with unnecessary words... Well, what does it matter? What's important is that I've been thoroughly caught up in Shin Tae-oh's scheme.

"That's why I like having a secretary."

"Sir..."

I tried to stop him from saying such words here, but Shin Tae-oh added with a playful smile.

"The secretary has a keen eye."

He knew I deliberately said it subtly, but he pretended not to.

"I received it as a gift."

There was no need to mention that I didn't buy it, but Shin Tae-oh didn't even pretend to hear. Since I was the cause of this conversation going in this direction, I couldn't blame anyone else.

Se-hyeon looked away from Shin Tae-oh and said:

"...I'll take the documents."

Now there was no choice but to avoid him. So I picked up the documents and paused when I saw the empty signature line.

Somehow I remembered that he said he wouldn't let me leave without capturing me.

"Please approve."

‘So that I can leave.’

With Se-hyeon subtly pressuring him, Shin Tae-oh willingly detached himself from the backrest, as if indicating his readiness.

"What are you doing this morning?"

"I have a marketing team meeting scheduled..."

Didn't we just have a briefing earlier?

"I'm asking you, not the secretary.”

"I... I'll be preparing for the meeting."

"What about lunch?"

"I'll be preparing for a meeting."

"And in the afternoon?"

"I'll be working..."

"What would an office worker do?"

In response to Shin Tae-oh's question, Se-hyeon blurted out dismissively, realizing that he unintentionally hit a nerve. He immediately closed his mouth in the awkward atmosphere.

Amidst the tension, Shin Tae-oh furrowed his eyebrows and focused his gaze on the documents.

"Do you know how caring our secretary is?"

Me?

"While I was suffering from illness, he was receiving urgent documents."

But isn't that part of the secretary's job?

"I thought he would only be concerned about me without knowing anything. He works all day today and even tomorrow... His dedication is truly remarkable."

If you have any complaints, just say it openly.

As Shin Tae-oh's frustration reached its peak, work was disrupted, and he only handed special approval documents to those who came to see him as a result.

Unless it's a special case where someone needs to come in person, it's common for the secretary to keep and receive approval for such documents. Se-hyeon couldn't understand what had triggered his sensitivity.

"It doesn't matter. The past is the past, what lies ahead is important."

Shin Tae-oh was just talking to himself. Se-hyeon didn't understand what he had done wrong when he was just doing his job, and he didn't know how he should act in response to Shin Tae-oh's mention of the 'future.'

"I'm counting on you."

For what?

"Go and see for yourself."

Tell me what you're expecting, and just let me go... Just go?

***

Shin Tae-oh, accompanied by Lee Jin-ho instead of Se-hyeon, entered the editing shop.

With something predetermined in his mind from the beginning, Shin Tae-oh headed towards a specific place without hesitation, and Lee Jin-ho followed him.

"Will you watch with me?"

"Me?"

"Why is the boss, who never makes such requests, acting like this today?" Lee Jin-ho nodded obediently, even though he wondered.

"I'll give it to Ahn Se-hyeon."

"You mean Ahn Se-hyeon, not Yoo Jin-ha?"

Lee Jin-ho asked with a puzzled expression. It was to the extent that he confirmed using a name that didn't have any formal rank attached to it.

"Yes."

"Well then... Is there something between the two of them?"

Lee Jin-ho glanced at another person and subtly asked Shin Tae-oh. Previously, he only had suspicions, but now, as he went through the discharge procedure, he was certain.

Shin Tae-oh's affection had shifted to Ahn Se-hyeon.

"But..."

With a confused look, Lee Jin-ho glanced at the coat that Shin Tae-oh took out.

Until now, Shin Tae-oh had chosen gifts for Yoo Jin-ha. Even if the size didn't fit, it was natural to assume that it was meant for Yoo Jin-ha.

So far, Se-hyeon had been responsible for delivering gifts to Yoo Jin-ha, but Lee Jin-ho was not completely ignorant of it either.

"The recipient has changed, but why does the design you choose remain consistent?"

It's an extremely rigid bamboo preference.

Or perhaps, from the beginning, you didn't see clothes that would suit Yoo Jin-ha, but rather picked designs that you wanted him to wear?

"I think this will suit you well."

As expected, Tae-oh was recalling Se-hyeon with a similar design in mind.

"What on earth is this?"

"What?"

Once they were alone after shooing away the surrounding employees, Lee Jin-ho leaned closer to Shin Tae-oh.

"What kind of perverted behaviour is this?"

In response to Lee Jin-ho's reaction, which seemed to question his sanity, Shin Tae-oh turned his head and locked eyes with him, still holding the coat.

"If you're only going to put on the coat, isn't it a bit lacking? Shouldn't you also match it with a suit to wear underneath?"

"That's not what I meant."

Lee Jin-ho firmly held onto his words and spoke with a cold tone.

"You're trying to make Ahn Se-hyeon wear the same design that you intended for Yoo Jin-ha."

"Did I... say that?"

In response to Shin Tae-oh's flippant reply, Lee Jin-ho clenched his fist. If he weren't the boss, he would have wanted to punch him right then and there, but he held back and restrained himself.

"The recipient has changed. So you should change too."

Lee Jin-ho kindly explained to Shin Tae-oh, who seemed clueless and likely to repeat the same mistake for his junior from school.

"You need to show that you value that person specially. That's how the other person can understand your feelings."

With sincere advice that aimed to prevent his unrequited love from ending in vain, Lee Jin-ho handed it over, and Shin Tae-oh fell into deep thought with a serious expression.

He couldn't help but wonder why someone who had never paid attention to anyone else suddenly acted this way towards Ahn Se-hyeon. But well, this was as much as he could interfere.

As Lee Jin-ho found himself speechless, he looked at the clothes while waiting for Shin Tae-oh's response. When was it? There was a time when Se-hyeon had come carrying a white padded jacket. He claimed it was for Yoo Jin-ha, but effortlessly carried out the errand with the boss's personal emotions involved.

"So, you're sending it to Assistant Manager Yoo Jin-ha?"

"Yes."

Even though he said it was his first time as a secretary, he seemed to distinguish between the boss's official duties and personal matters, without any emotional fluctuations.

Moreover, he smoothly avoided the disliked elements that Shin Tae-oh was wary of, and quickly rose to the position of Executive Secretary.

Was that what appealed to Shin Tae-oh?

Now, thinking that his thoughts were gradually being organized, Lee Jin-ho turned to Shin Tae-oh. If he understood my advice, he would put away the things he had taken out and start anew...

"This one is the most beautiful."

"...What?"

With a perplexed look, Lee Jin-ho looked at the coat pointed out by Shin Tae-oh. It was the very first item he had picked.

"You did understand everything I said, right?"

"It's special."

Shin Tae-oh extended a cashmere coat to an employee, asking for it to be wrapped, then turned to Lee Jin-ho.

"I didn't know either, but it turns out it was Ahn Se-hyeon from the beginning."

"What nonsense are you talking about?"

"I chose it while thinking of Ahn Se-hyeon."

Perhaps it was the white padded jacket at first, but as Lee Jin-ho struggled to understand the situation, he belatedly recalled something.

"So you...?"

"I didn't know back then. It just happened that way."

So, it meant that there was no need to choose a new design.

"Instead, I need to become special to Ahn Se-hyeon."

That way, I can make him look back at me.

"How can I appear attractive in Ahn Se-hyeon's eyes?"

Lee Jin-ho stared at Shin Tae-oh with a bewildered look and then grabbed his own head.

"To think it was Ahn Se-hyeon from the beginning... No wonder he would say things that didn't make sense to Yoo Jin-ha. Back then, I just thought he was crazy..."

As Lee Jin-ho watched Shin Tae-oh receive the wrapped clothes, he muttered to himself.

"He didn't know my feelings."

"I had my own reasons for that, so please understand, hyung."

Shin Tae-oh tapped Lee Jin-ho's shoulder and left the store.

"What if I get rejected again like with Yoo Jin-ha?"

"Se-hyeon won't reject you."

"So you're confident?"

Did he know Yoo Jin-ha would reject him and still give him the gift?

"Well, first of all, it's a gift that caught Ahn Se-hyeon's eye, so it should suit his taste."

"How do you know that?"

"He touched it and looked at it carefully."

Even if Lee Jin-ho didn't understand, Shin Tae-oh added the next statement as if it didn't matter.

"The sleeves of the clothes Se-hyeon's currently wearing are worn out. It's the perfect timing to buy a new one. And I have a very suitable excuse to pass it on."

Shin Tae-oh successfully executed all the strategies to give the coat.

As a result, when Shin Tae-oh said that Se-hyeon had no choice but to accept it, he became even more excited, not knowing what to do. Lee Jin-ho looked at him with pity, unable to bear it.

"Do you want to give it to him so badly, even if it means doing all that?"

He called it a gift.

Why is it so difficult to hand over a single item?

Anyway, it wouldn't be bad if Shin Tae-oh gave the gift, and Se-hyeon would be happy to receive new clothes. There was nothing wrong with it.

"What's the excuse?"

Lee Jin-ho couldn't erase his doubts until the end.

***

Se-hyeon found himself in a perplexing situation.

"How can I accept it?"

What could be going on in Taenyang's mind as he extended the coat and rambled on with nonsense?

Prev / Next

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lilyevanstan1325 · 11 months ago

Text

✨ Astral Lovers ✨

Chapter 8

Steve POV

This is the only sentence that has been ringing in my head since the jet took off.

"I'm sorry Steve.I swear I would have spent my life with you if it had been possible"

Before the sun rose this morning, we headed out of New York to one of the hangars belonging to the S.H.I.E.L.D.

As promised by Natasha no one asked any questions and Fury had already prepared everything we needed for us.

Now we're flying, sitting in religious silence.

Natasha is at the controls.

Bucky, on the other hand, keeps giving me anxious glances, believing that I don't notice.

I think he is afraid I might have a mental breakdown at any moment.

The first to speak since the jet took off is Nat.

"Ok guys, the course is set.We are flying off the radar and the audio and video recording devices are disabled.There is no evidence or trace of what we are doing.Arrival is expected in about 40 minutes"

I sigh.

I feel relieved.

The fewer people are involved in this, the better.

What if it turns out that Lily is dangerous?

What if she can't come into contact with our world?

Ever since Nat put this thing into my head, I can't think of anything else.

Actually, I should have already thought about it myself.

The way she moves between space/time is not a normal human ability.

If we add the fact that she does it unconsciously it is even more concerning.

What would be the extent of her power if she used it consciously?

Is she really that dangerous or is she in the hands of the wrong people?

I really don't know what would be worse.

"Thank you, Natasha" I say with a smile that doesn't reach my eyes.

I get up and start nervously towards the tail Bucky makes my own gestures and follows me.

"Please Buck" stop looking at me like this, you freak me out" I sigh heavily as I free myself from the safety harness.

"Sorry buddy, I just want to make sure you're okay" he admits, "Whatever we find here today won't be easy"

"I know" I admit, "I think I've mentally prepared myself for the worst"

"Please will you stop?Why the hell do you have to act like a drama queen?You're unbearable" Nat lets us know what she thinks of us from without even look in our direction.

The redhead rolls her eyes without giving him time to finish his speech, which she immediately replies.

"Oh I'm sorry if it doesn't seem like a good idea to fill his head with everything will be fine bullshit!We are adults and aware, it is better to be ready for anything" my best friend snaps.

"Even thinking about the worst doesn't help either.Can we just wait and see how things turn out?You're a little too gloomy, Barnes"

"For God's sake, would you two stop?"

I feel on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

"Why do you have to fight about everything?"

They look like two kindergarten children.

Natasha engages the autopilot and after getting up she walks over to me.

She puts a hand on my arm.

"Sorry Steve.We're all a little nervous"

"Romanoff is right.This trip is an unknown and today we could find answers to questions that maybe we shouldn't even know"

Bucky looks out and keeps talking.

"What if we stir something big with our curiosity?Things like time and space travel can attract the attention of the wrong people.And we are only three"

Bucky smiles joylessly.

"Three of the best" the former Russian spy points out.

"We may be the best but we are still three.I think we should have told someone else in case we needed help.I know you don't want anyone to know anything about her until we have a big picture of the situation, I'm only concerned for your safety, for our safety"

I understand Bucky's concern.

"I know pal, but I can assure you that if the situation were to precipitate I would not hesitate to contact the base.Or S.H.I.E.L.D. Your safety comes first for me" I say.

A beep warns us that we are almost at our destination.

Each of us takes our place again.

Nat takes off the autopilot and resumes the controls.

We are flying over Indiana, the green extends visibly.

Nat is looking for a fairly flat spot to land and hide our jet.

Right on the edge of the city of Brookville are dense clusters of trees.

Natasha is an excellent pilot and with a few maneuvers, fast and clean, she manages to land in the middle of a small clearing hidden among the trees.

Before going down we better hide our weapons under the civilian clothes we wear.

I opted for light jeans and a blue sweatshirt, hidden under the sweatshirt is a gun.

I hate guns but Natasha insisted that none of us three were totally unarmed.

And my shield cannot go unnoticed so the gun seemed to me the best alternative.

I lower the visor of my baseball cap to my eyes and adjust my glasses to my nose.

We must try to go unnoticed as much as possible.

Three Avengers running around town would attract too much attention.

Natasha wears simple black leather pants and a white tank top and a brown leather jacket with a hood that she has arranged to lift over her head.

Under her jacket she hides her inevitable and adored batons.

Bucky instead wears dark jeans and a red sweatshirt.

He also opted for a baseball cap.

Inside the belt of his trousers are his knives.

We walk towards the edge of the city.

Watchful and attentive, looking around with caution.

It all seems pretty quiet.

The roads are not very busy, at this time of the day most of the people are at work.

The street is lined on both sides by low-rise buildings, mostly built with mornings ranging from red to orange.

There is peace.

Quiet.

The opposite of New York.

We walk a few more minutes and a sign tickles my memory.

I slow down until I stop, my teammates don't notice it.

"Cougars Bar" I whisper.

This is the bar where she told me she works.

"Hey guys, stop" I yell calling for their attention.

They stop abruptly, looking around, and then turn their full attention to me.

With my hand I signal them to join me.

"This is the bar where she works, or in the end she should work there"

I am anxious.

"Ok, let's go in.Let's order something and try to gather as much information as possible" Bucky begins confidently.

I envy him.

In this moment I lose all my self-confidence.

We go in and take a seat at the table further down near the window.

From here we have a great view of everything.

A very tall, muscular man with short red hair approaches us.

"Hi I'm Jhon.Welcome to the Cougars Bar.What can I bring you?"

"Three coffees.Two blacks, one with milk.Thanks"

This time it's Nat talking.

I can't seem to say a word, mentally I'm zoned out.

The man marks our order, his muscular arms full of tattoos which seem to dance on his skin following the rhythm of the pen that scratches on the paper.

"I'll be right back" so he says he walks away.

"What's Barnes, scary?" teases the redhead.

"How the hell do we get out of here?" Bucky begins, "Did you see how big that guy is?You ask the wrong question and he beats the shit out of you"

I join her laugh.

"I'm not scary, my arm is in vibranium and the super soldier serum runs through my veins!I'm just saying we have to do everything we can to stay under the radar.I have a bad vibes, guys"

After a while Jhon comes back with the coffees.

"Quiet morning" begins Natasha blinking her long lashes in the direction of the bartender.

"Yes, it's always like this here.For the partying you have to wait for the weekend.Brookville is a peaceful and quiet little town.You're not from here, are you?I don't think I've ever seen you" Jhon seems intrigued.

"No we're just passing through.We wanted to say hello to an old friend of ours.We know he lives here in Brookville but we don't have his home address"

I try to appear as relaxed as possible, so I continue.

"Let's just say that for 20 minutes we have been practically spinning around in circles"

All three are giggling a little.

"Here we all know each other.Maybe I can help you" say Jhon affably.

Perfect.

He took the bait.

At that moment another customer enters the bar.

Jhon apologizes promising to come back immediately and walks away to serve the new customer.

Bucky nods.

"I think it's better to ask about the father, let's not talk about her" suggests Nat.

"Ok here we are, he's coming back" I mutter between my teeth.

The other customer is sitting at the counter enjoying his coffee.

"Who are you looking for?" Jhon asks us.

"We're looking for Dr. Ross.Philiph Ross"

Jhon's expression changes.

That's not a good sign.

"The doctor doesn't live here anymore, I'm sorry"

Damn

"Couldn't give us some more news?"

I hear Bucky ask.

"No, I'm sorry" all traces of John's kindness and cordiality have disappeared, replaced by a wall of hostility.

Only I notice the man at the counter watching us?

Will he have recognized us?

It seems that the topic of this speech has aged him 20 years.

John walks away with long and heavy strides, his shoulders hunched.

I knew this could have happened but I still feel overwhelmed by the events.

She is not here.

Who knows where she is.

Heartbroken I sigh, better not to push any further.

I nod to the others, it's time to go.

I'll find my answers elsewhere.

We pay for our coffees and greet him as if nothing had happened.

Once outside I tear off my glasses and hat.

I furiously run my hands through my hair.

What trouble am I getting into?

Am I putting my friends in trouble?

Nat is about to speak when a voice behind us reaches us.

He's the man who walked into the bar after us.

"You have to excuse Jhon but despite 10 years have passed he is still very shaken by the Ross family thing.We all are a little bit.Follow me" he waves us his hand and crosses the street.

This may be the only chance for a good lead.

Bucky shakes his head as if to say don't bullshit, stay here! but obviously I doesn't listen to him.

I follow the man and my two friends, after exchanging a worried glance, follow me.

A few meters further there is a cemetery.

The man enters and stops in front of the first tombstones.

It's of white marble.

Shiny and full of fresh flowers.

Gilded engravings to enrich them.

I reach the mysterious man and stop beside him.

Bucky and Nat are behind us.

"There was a big explosion in the pharmaceutical company where Dr. Ross worked 10 years ago" the man begins with his story.

"That day with him were his wife Sophia and his daughter Lily.That poor girl was just 15 years old, she went to school with my son, Paul.They found their bodies under the rubble only after 2 days of searching.It was an immense pain for the community.Sophia and Lily were very similar.Beautiful, good.Two kind and sunny women.Philiph was destroyed.A year later he left Brookville and no one ever saw him again.Until 2 years ago we learned the news of his suicide.A horrible end, a wonderful family destroyed"

My vision becomes blurred.

I feel wavering.

In front of me is her tombstone, her name engraved on it.

I feel Bucky's strong hands assert me by the shoulders, his voice seems far away.

Muffled.

"It's okay pal, breathe"

I hear Natasha exchanging a few more words with the man and thanks him, he goes away throwing me worried looks.

I feel like I'm going to throw up, my head is spinning.

I can't breath.

I feel my friend's hands pushing me down, shortly after I feel the fresh grass beneath me.

Natasha's face appears in my field of vision, fear and sorrow in her eyes.

She gently tries to make me lower my head between my legs.

I hear the words panic attack and immediately understand their intentions.

Therefore I indulge them.

I lift my knees and put my head in the middle, raise my arms to cover my head.

I try to breathe deeply.

After what seems like hours to me I feel in control of myself again but I can't look up at my friends.

I am ashamed of how I feel, how I am reacting.

I feel their eyes on me.

I take a last deep breath and look up at them.

In their eyes there's so much pain for me.

"It's late"

My words are just a slight broken sound.

I clear my throat, feeling the tears push behind my lowered eyelids.

"She no longer exists"

"Do you really want to give up like this?"

I look at my best friend without understanding.

"What the fuck am I supposed to do, brother? Jesus Christ!She's dead!What the fuck do you want me to do?"

I'm screaming with all the anger in my body.

I know it's not his fault, I shouldn't scream at him.

"Don't do that, don't beat yourself up.We keep searching,digging"

"Bucky what the hell are you saying?But are you listening to yourself?"

I can't think rationally, I can't go on with this now.

"And you?Are you listening?We both saw her, did she look like a 15-year-old girl?Did we see a ghost?" he laughs without enthusiasm, "Wherever she is now she is a grown woman, and maybe she is also in danger.We won't give up like this, not now!"

I stand up, my gaze fixed on her tombstone.

Elisabeth Ross, loving daughter.Sweet and loyal friend.

08/13/1996 ~ 09/15/2011

Bucky is about to speak again but Nat stops him, puts a hand on his chest.

"Not now James, let's leave him alone for a few minutes" she grabs his hand and drags him a little further.

James?

It's really weird.

Nobody ever calls him that, much less her.

I watch them go away.

He talks, gesticulating animatedly as Natasha watches him with her arms crossed in front of her chest.

When he calms down she places a hand on his shoulder, a hand that he promptly covers with his.

A sweet gesture, two intertwined glances that are communicating without the need for words.

At that moment I understand.

A sweet smile breaks my mask of pain.

Was I too busy with myself and my problems to notice what was going on around me?

I'm a really bad friend.

I sigh.

I turn my gaze back to her name engraved on the white marble.

Bucky is right.

She can't be dead.

The woman I met, who I held close to me, who I kissed is an adult.

She knows where we are.

She doesn't know when.

And her mother's death does not coincide with the story she told me.

And according to her, her father is still alive.

There is something strange about this whole story.

Too weird.

I stroke the tombstone.

"I will find you.That's a promise"

And with this whispered promise I return to my friends.

We are on the jet, we are about to land in New York.

The return journey was particularly quiet.

Not even the redhead has tried to get close to me, she knows perfectly well that this is not the time.

I'm trying not to think about Lily, I can't do this now.

I need to detach myself from everything to try to lucidly analyze everything we have discovered today.

So to distract myself I look at my friends.

How did I don't figure it out?

Of course I don't expect someone like Nat to break out on me on a topic like that but Bucky...we have always told each other everything.

Why didn't he tell me about this?

Are they afraid of my reaction?

Absurd.

I am so happy for them.

I have to find a way to get they to tell me everything.

I'll try with Bucky, I wouldn't get a word out of Nat's mouth even if I put her under torture.

As soon as we land, Natasha greets some of her colleagues.

Meanwhile, Buck and I take a seat in the car.

"Is there something you want to tell me, man?"

Bucky looks at me without understanding

"No, I don't think so.Why?"

"Are you sure?"

"Ok now you're scaring me.What the hell is wrong with you?"

He looks nervous.

Natasha is approaching.

Now or never.

"So you and Natasha...huh?"

Bucky chokes on his own saliva, starting to cough.

His eyes seem to want to get out of their sockets.

While he is still shaken by coughing spasms, the former Russian spy gets into the car, positioning herself in the driver's seat.

She looks in the rearview mirror.

"Are you okay, Barnes?If you have to die please don't do it in my car"

I burst out laughing and Nat follows me but she doesn't know we're laughing for two totally different reasons.

If she knew why I laugh, she probably wouldn't laugh anymore.

In my pocket the phone buzz,I grab it and look at the screen.

A message from Bucky.

I smile.

I put the phone back in my pocket.

Not a word Steve.I'll tell you everything you want to know.But please not a word in front of her.She'd tear my heart out of my chest without hesitation.

I smile.

Will this be enough to get her out of my mind?

No, but at least I'm trying.

Lily POV

It's been nearly two months since that damn day.

The moment I opened my eyes that morning all I did was cry.

I phoned Jhon and told him that I wasn't feeling well at all that day.

"Seasonal flu.Take a rest.We'll talk as soon as you recover" he replied as cordial as ever.

Even if it wasn't exactly a lie.

That day I had a lot of discomfort, so much so that at a certain point I thought I was dying.

A pain had radiated from my chest and I could barely breathe, so gathering all my strength I called my father at work.

He returned 15 minutes later with our doctor.

Dr. Flinch, a small and overweight man.

Kind and with a word of comfort always ready.

He had known me since I was a baby.

After a few checks it was revealed that my heart is fatigued.

Absolute rest the doctor's sentence.

"For the moment it's better if you stay home.You have to rest"

My father adamant in his next move that is to call Jhon to tell him that for a while I would not be going to work anymore.

These were the only words my father said on the matter.

Great.

That meant whole days with nothing to do but think about Steve.

The insult in addition to the damage.

Whenever I fell asleep, I woke up in New York.

Without having to think about it, without having to concentrate.

It was as if my mind knew very well where my heart wanted to be.

Not caring about the conscience screaming loudly to stop, that we would all get hurt in the end.

Over the past few months, I've seen he pretty much every single day.

In front of his house, in front of his favorite bar or in front of what I think is his workplace.

That big glass tower with a big stylized A on top.

I have also begun to take into consideration that he is real, that maybe I have an ability or a power?

But all this changed nothing because at the end of the games I could not still live alongside him.

I don't know how to define it...some kind of power that transports me to other dimensions.

But it was enough for me to see him.

He was always in the company of James or Natasha.

Sometimes I saw him with another boy, dark skin and a bright smile, or with Sharon.

My chest hurts to see him with her but I'm glad that at least he has moved on.

Glad he's happy.

He is always beautiful to feel bad, he looks more muscular than I remembered and he has cut his beard.

I miss him so much.

Do you miss me?

What about me, Steve?

The answer is obviously no and I, as always, cry in a corner away from his eyes.

Its almost midnight.

I should go to bed but I don't want to, I'm afraid to see him again.

I can't live like this anymore.

I'm tired of seeing him and not being able to touch him, hug him.

Not to be able to kiss him.

God how I miss his lips.

I think about his kiss all the time...his mouth soft on mine.

His tongue that claims me with sweetness and possession.

I have to distract myself, think about other things.

I lean my back on the headboard and grab the book I left on the night stand the previous evening.

I begin to read another chapter of Pride and Prejudice, I reread the same paragraph three times but without understanding what is written there.

I am too tired.

And without even having time to think about it, I fall asleep.

This time when I open my eyes I find myself directly in front of the entrance doors of the tower.

I remain motionless for a few minutes.

I don't know what to do, the temptation to go in and look for Steve is great.

But I have to restrain myself.

What could I tell him?

I can't go to him like this after all this time.

Better walk away before anyone can see me.

I turn around but I can't take a single step that I collides with a hard chest.

Two hands grab me by the shoulders to avoid me to fall.

"Woah!Are you okay, sweetheart?"

I look up and meet the gaze of a man I have already seen.

One of Steve's friends.

Up close he is even more beautiful, dark skin smooth as silk and a smile that shines.

He looks at me smiling sweetly.

"I'm sorry but you moved so fast that I didn't have time to avoid you.Did you hurt yourself?" he asks me.

"No, it's okay.Excuse me instead!I didn't want to get on you like that!"

"You say that as if it were a bad thing for me"

A big smile on his lips and he winks at me.

I blush violently.

His hands are still on my arms.

After a few more seconds he lets me go and holds out his hand.

"I'm Sam, Sam Wilson by the way "

When he smiles his eyes smile too, small and adorable wrinkles form on the sides of them.

"I'm Lily" I feel free to tell him my name, I don't think he knows who I am.

After all, why should he?

Why Steve would ever tell to someone else about me?

"You were looking for someone?Are you lost?"

I don't know what to answer.

He sees the uncertainty in my eyes.

"Do you by any chance need help?Do you want me to call you someone?"

I'm about to answer when I see Natasha walking out of the tower at a fast pace.

"Sorry Sam but I really have to go.It was a pleasure"

I apologize quickly and leave as fast as I can.

I hear Natasha's footsteps behind me.

"Lily please stop!Let's talk for a moment"

I freeze on the spot.

She knows who I am.

I can't stay.

I have my heart in my throat, I can't turn to her.

"Steve isn't there!" exclaims the woman behind me, "Steve is not at the tower.Come with me.Let's have a chat you and I"

She continues to speak to my back.

"Please, come back with me"

I sigh and finally I turn to look into her eyes.

"Thank you" she whispers with gratitude and relief.

We go back in absolute silence.

As soon as we enter, I am fascinated by the luxury that is around me.

"Is this place yours?"

Natasha throws her head back and laughs heartily.

"I'd like to.But noo, it's all Tony Stark's here.It's our headquarters.You know...the Avengers"

I don't answer.

We take the elevator and go up to the top floor.

We arrive in a corridor full of doors.

I assume they are bedrooms.

"Here are our private rooms.Follow me"

And I do.

At the penultimate door on the right Natasha stops.

She opens the door and invites me to enter.

The environment is bright and welcoming.

The room is really big and includes a small sitting room with a minibar attached.

Next to the large window there is a sliding door.

I think the bed and the bathroom are hidden behind that door.

"Take a seat" as she says so, she beckons me towards the large black leather sofa.

"Would you like something to drink?" she asks me with a big smile as soon as I sit down.

"Anything as long as it's strong"

Natasha bursts out laughing again.

God she is so beautiful!

Steve could very well lose his mind over such a woman.

Natasha has a beautiful face.

Shapely and slender, her every movement exudes femininity and sex appeal.

Green eyes and plump red lips like sin, her red hair looks like living flames framing her face.

I have the same sexy appeal as a potato instead.

"I have what you need" and with that she goes to the minibar and grabs two glasses and what appears to be a bottle of Kors Vodka, one of the most expensive on the market.

She pours me the first shot and I drink it in one sip.

It is pure fire.

I cough but I welcome the sensation of warmth that spreads from my stomach.

Natasha follows me.

We repeat both the action.

Thanks to the Vodka, I am the first to speak.

"How's Steve?"

I watch her carefully, her gaze worried.

She pours herself a third shot and swallows it.

I feel terribly guilty.

"Not so good" she sighs heavily, "Mostly he pretends to not worry us"

I feel my eyes fill with tears.

"Hey listen, it's not your fault!"

"Yes, it is!"

"Lily you only did what you thought was right for you"

"Exactly.Right for me!"

Tears now run hot on my face.

I run a hand over my eyes in anger.

I don't want to sound pathetic and I don't want her pity either.

I keep talking.

"I didn't think about Steve or how he could be.I behaved selfishly"

"You didn't think it was real.What could you know?" the redhead replies while she watches me carefully.

She looks like she is studying me.

"Now you don't think that anymore.What has changed?"

There is a moment of silence between us.

"I don't know" I admit disconsolately, "In the last two months I have appeared in New York every single time I fell asleep.It cannot be a dream, or a coincidence.There is something in me, something I don't know and I cannot control.And if anyone can help me that someone is you"

My words, even if whispered, are deafening.

"Even though Steve hates me"

I look down at my hands that are still holding the glass.

"What?" is Natasha's shocked response, "How the hell can you come up with such an idea?"

I feel devoured by shame.

"Lily?" Natasha's voice calls me softly.

I take my gaze into her, my heart beating frantically.

"Steve hasn't stopped looking for you for a moment.Neither me or Bucky"

"Oh Bucky...he hates me"

Both of us smile.

"Nah...do you know that was him who insisted for looking for you?"

"Really?Why?"

I am genuinely impressed.

"Because he believes in the truthfulness of your feelings.And in Steve's"

Another tear escapes from my eyes.

Bucky is a really good guy.

Natasha waits patiently for me to absorb all this new information.

I am now asking her a question.

"You say you looked for me.So you went to Brookville.How can you not find me?"

I see the woman in front of me moving uncomfortably.

"Yes we stayed in Brookville but you weren't there.You and your father haven't lived there for a long time"

I don't have time to answer that a female, artificial voice spreads through the air around us.

"Agent Romanoff, Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes have just returned"

"They are in the living room with Mr. Stark and Mr. Wilson"

"Where are they now, Friday?" Natasha asks and Friday's voice immediately answers clear and precise.

"Ok, thanks Friday".

I panic, Natasha notices immediately.

She grabs me by the shoulders with strong and sure hands and she looks me straight in the eyes.

"Hey Lily, listen to me.I can get you out of here without him noticing.Is that what you want?"

She looks at me so intensely that I can't hold her gaze.

"Is this what your heart really wants?"

I am about to respond when, for the second time in a few minutes, I am interrupted again.

But this time I don't have the time to understand what's going on.

The door opens violently, banging against the wall.

Natasha moves me behind her and stands in front of me with her arms outstretched, as if she were ready to shield me with her own body.

I just hear her whisper "What the hell..."

Steve POV

I am in the training room.

I've been punching the bag for over an hour.

I feel the sweat running down my back and stomach.

My forehead and hair are also wet, drenched in sweat.

I better arrange the bandages on my hands and keep hitting.

I need to let off steam.

In my eyes only her face.

Her smiles.

Her tears.

Punch.

She hugging me.

Punch.

She kissing me.

Punch.

And then the trip to Brookville.

That damn tombstone.

The punches become more constant and violent.

I review the hundreds of articles I have read about the accident at that pharmaceutical company.

Her name on that tombstone is the only thing I can see.

I hit two more punches and the punching bag falls off the ceiling and flies across the room.

I remain motionless panting, my hands resting on my hips.

I hear footsteps behind me.

I know who he is, I don't need to turn around.

"Man, what did that poor sack do?" Bucky asks me.

I go to the bench and take a bottle of water, I drink it all in a few sips.

"Do you need something?"

I don't mean to be rude but he found me at the wrong time.

"I'm actually here to scold you and tell you that you're a bad friend"

I immediately look up at his face but I see that he smiles.

"I heard you had lunch with a friend when I have been asking you to go out for a beer for weeks and all you do is give me a no"

I sigh.

I'm sorry he feels left out.

"I'm sorry brother, I'm a bad friend"

"Nah...you are a very good friend because tonight you will come with me without making a fuss, right?"

More than an invitation, it looks like an order.

"At your orders, njSergeant Barnes"

I do the military salute.

We both laugh.

"I still can't believe it.You and Natasha..."

I tell him laughing.

Bucky rolls his eyes.

"I don't know whether to take it as an offense.Why do you find it hard to believe?I am a very interesting person.I am beautiful.And I am good in bed" he exclaims with a mischievous smile.

Now it's my turn to roll my eyes.

"You know what I mean" I continue.

"You should talk to her about it.Seriously I mean"

"I know, as I told you it all started by chance.At first it was just sex.Healthy and fun.Little by little it became more serious" my friend replies, "At least for me"

"She said she needs time, Steve!What else can I do?" so saying I notice his eyes are veiled with a slight sadness.

"You know better than me what Nat is like.Stay close to her and give her time"

I pat him on the back to console him.

"I am convinced that between you two it will work"

We have almost arrived at the Avengers Tower.

The night we spent in the bar was nice.

We hadn't done this in a while.

I've been neglecting my friends too much lately and they don't deserve it.

They've been as close to me as ever in these two months and the least I could do was give Nat that lunch and a night man at my best friend this evening.

We enter through the large doors and enter the elevator.

And when I thought I was feeling a little better, my brain shows signs of imbalance.

I swear I can smell her perfume.

This is not good.

We stop at the piano bar for a last beer before going to sleep and to our great surprise we realize that one of the sofas is occupied.

"Sam, man what are you doing here?Shouldn't you be in Washington?" I ask him.

Sam is seated, his right ankle resting on his left knee and a bottle of beer in his hands.

Next to him an impeccable Tony Stark, in one of his four-zero suits and in his hands a glass full of precious amber liquid.

"Hey guys!Change of plans.They postponed the meeting with the Secretary of State for tomorrow morning so free evening!" so saying he raises his beer in the air for an imaginary toast and takes a big sip.

Me and Bucky sit down with them.

Tony serves us a beer.

We all take a few sips in silence.

"Where's Nat?" I ask Tony

"Why she's not here with you?"

With this question I immediately catches Bucky's attention, I know he was wondering the same thing but he couldn't find the courage to ask.

Not to attract attention.

"She's in her room with a friend" Tony replies.

What?

A friend?

We all laugh together.

"And what a friend..." adds Sam, "Petite, with a great ass.One I would gladly teach two moves!If you know what I mean" continues Sam.

He is like that.

Always ready to like a beautiful girl.

Always ready to fall in love with the beauty of the moment.

"But who is she?I've never seen anyone come to see her" Bucky murmurs and then takes a sip of his beer.

"Her name is Lily" answer Sam after another sip of beer.

"Actually you're right Barnes.I've never seen her.She will be a friend from Washington" replies Tony thoughtfully, "Sam?Did she tell you her name?"

My heart stops for a few seconds and then starts beating in a furious and irregular way.

I jump up, the beer slips from my hands and crashes to the ground.

"Shit"

This is Bucky.

"All right Rogers?Are you okay?" Tony overlaps.

I can't answer them, I turn quickly and start running towards the upper floor.

I don't even take the elevator, I don't have the strength to stay still inside that big metal cage.

I hear Bucky running after me, calling my name.

"Hey buddy, wait.Calm down!"

But I continue moving like a train, unstoppable.

I open the door to Natasha's room with unprecedented violence.

The noise of it reverberates within me.

I enter in the room with a few steps.

I see Natasha appear in front of me with her arms outstretched, hiding her from my eyes.

When she realizes it's me she relaxes a little.

"What the hell..." she whispers and then raises her voice, yelling at me.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Rogers?Does this look like the way to get into other people's rooms?"

I can't pay attention.

I only have eyes for the wonderful creature that lurks behind her.

God I didn't remember she was so beautiful.

My heart seems to come out of my chest and a smile begins to graze my lips.

"Honey..."

I whisper but my smile dies as quickly as it was born.

My heart stops as soon as I register her expression.

She isn't smiling, she doesn't look happy to see me.

Her beautiful eyes are wide open and full of panic.

I take another step towards her.

"Honey?"

This time I'm much more hesitant.

She instinctively takes a step back, hides a little more behind Nat.

My arms fall helpless along my body.

Why does she behave like this?

Natasha breaks the silence.

"Lily and I were chatting, James do you mind accompanying Steve to his room?"

I feel my best friend's hands grab my shoulders and exert a little pressure, pulling me back.

"C'mon man.Let's go!"

I oppose a bit of resistance.

I look for her eyes but she doesn't even look at me, she stares at the floor.

I feel my heart breaking.

I let Bucky push me out of the room, completely dazed.

When suddenly I hear a whisper.

It's her voice chocked by tears.

Only one word.

I see her overtake Nat and literally tear me out of Bucky's hands.

"Wait!"

She throws her arms around me and starts sobbing against my neck.

It all happened so quickly that for a moment I don't know what to do.

I look at my friends, they both smile at me.

And so I do it.

I lean over her wrapping my arms around her back and squeeze her as tightly as I can.

She is so small and delicate in my arms.

I sink my face into her hair and breathes its essence.

They smell like wildflowers, those beautiful white and yellow flowers that fill the meadows in spring.

I get up taking her up with me.

Now her feet no longer touch the ground and holding her like this I take her to my room.

I desperately need to be alone with her.

Once in my room, I make her feet touch the floor again.

We stay hugged and she continues to cry.

I feel that I too can no longer hold back the tears.

And so I let myself go.

All the anxiety and frustration of the last few months slip away along with my tears.

She notices it and tilts her head back to look into my eyes.

Her hands caress my neck and slowly descend on my chest where they rest delicately.

She raises a hand to wipe away a tear that hangs from the side of my face.

"I'm sorry, Steve.Can you ever forgive me?" her is a barely audible whisper.

She looks like she's about to cry again.

I grab her hand, the one on my cheek, and kiss her palm.

Then the back of it.

I look intently into her eyes.

"You don't have to apologize for anything.You have nothing to be forgiven for"

I am sincere.

"Now I'm just happy to have you back with me"

"This time I want to stay"

My heart quickens his pace at her words .

We stay like that, eye to eye.

Blue and black that merge.

I grab her face in my hands, with my thumbs I caress her cheeks.

I kiss her forehead first, then the top of her head.

I desperately want to kiss her lips but I hold back.

I don't want her to feel pushed to go further.

I want to give her space.

I take her by the hand and make her sit on my bed.

I bend on my knee and from the drawer of the night stand I grab her little earring.

"I have something for you" I whisper softly to her.

I open my hand in front of her sweet face and her eyes light up as soon as they see the little jewel in the center of my palm.

"Oh God" she exclaims and grabs it with a shaking hand.

"It's my mother's earring.I thought I lost it" she whispers.

"I found it in the bathroom of my house the night I saw you disappear in front of my eyes.When I saw it I had the confirmation that you were real.If you hadn't been, how could I have owned something of yours" I say.

She wears her earring and stares at me with teary eyes.

I am still kneeling in front of her.

"You're real" she whispers as she puts her hands on my face.

I immediately cover them with mine.

"You are real" she repeats smiling.

And she kisses me.

Gently, without haste.

I get up on my feet and pull her up with me.

"This is real.You and I" I tell her and then I kiss her again, this time with more passion.

I kiss her with all the desperation I have.

I forcefully push my tongue into her mouth, I hear her moan softly.

My hands are now on her hips, digging my fingers into her flesh.

Afraid that she might disappear at any moment.

She lets herself be devoured by my mouth.

Her hands pull and stroke the hair on the back of my neck.

I detach myself from her and lean my forehead against hers.

We are both short of breath.

Lily pulls away from me to look me in the eyes.

"Natasha told me you stayed in Brookville but I wasn't there.I don't live here anymore"

I try to keep a serene expression.

She looks scared and worried.

When everything is clearer and we know the truth I will tell her everything.

Now she doesn't need to know what we found in Brookville.

I kiss her again and hug her.

"Don't worry about that.Wherever you are, I'll find you" I reply softly, "Now the only thing that matters is that we are together again"

Everything would be fine.

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