#if anyone guesses it I'll tell them but it was written during a period where I wrote under different pseuds a lot

[cookinguptales]

For fanfiction tropes, fake dating and soulmate AUs

I'd give those an A! I think I'd be very hypocritical if I said otherwise considering how often I've written them.

That said, I feel like I only like soulmate AUs if there's a reason for them to believe that something's gone wrong and they don't have have a soulmate. It's my favorite angst to write. I've done it a bunch of different ways... their soulmate has a name that doesn't fit the necessary naming scheme, their soulmate is an alien, their soulmate is undead... I just love the angst of a character believing that either their soulmate is dead or that they're so fucked up that they don't have one... only for them to find out surprise!! joke's on you, you're loved as hell!

And fake dating is just always fun. Like the possibilities for UST are just limitless. And the internal angst, too! It's super fun to write and to read.

[firawren]

Asks about my OTPs

Pick your top 10 OTPs without reading the questions, then answer the questions after you've made your list

Elizabeth and Darcy (Pride and Prejudice)

Belle and Beast (Beauty and the Beast 1991)

Anne and Wentworth (Persuasion)

Chuck and Sarah (Chuck)

Killian and Emma (Once Upon a Time)

Peeta and Katniss (The Hunger Games)

Stede and Ed (Our Flag Means Death)

Catherine and Henry (Northanger Abbey)

Snow and David (Once Upon a Time)

Leslie and Ben (Parks and Recreation)

Now here are the questions and answers!

1. Do you remember the episode/scene/chapter that you first started shipping 6? – Probably some time during the second book, when they really become a team protecting and comforting each other.

2. Have you ever read a fanfic about 2? – Haha yes, and written many!

3. Has a picture of 4 ever been your screen saver/profile picture/tumblr screen saver? – Nope!

4. If 7 were to suddenly break up today, what would your reaction be? – They kind of are broken up? It's devastating, but I hope season 2 will fix it!

5. Why is 1 so important? – Because they got me into the entire Jane Austen universe, which is one of my main interests and hobbies now.

6. Is 9 a funny ship or a serious ship? – Mostly serious, but they have their funny moments.

7. Out of all the ships listed, which ship has the most chemistry? – Elizabeth and Darcy or Chuck and Sarah.

8. Out of all your ships listed, which ship has the strongest bond? – Probably Peeta and Katniss since they went through such intense trauma together.

9. How many times have you read/watched the 10’s fandom? – 3 times, and I'll do it again.

10. Which ship has lasted the longest? – I don't know what this means. In their canon? Snow and David have been together for over 40 years by the end of the show, I think. In my heart? I've been into Belle and Beast ever since the movie came out over 31 years ago. In fandom? Elizabeth and Darcy have been going strong for over 200 years!

11. How many times, if ever, has 6 broken up? – I suppose they weren't really a couple during the period where Peeta wanted to murder Katniss lol! Plus they were fake dating and fake engaged for most of their relationship, so it's hard to tell what "broken up" means in this sort of context where they're not truly together to begin with.

12. If the world was suddenly thrust into a zombie apocalypse, which ship would make it out alive, 2 or 8? – 2, because Beast is a literal beast with claws and fangs and crap, and Belle is very smart. 8 are sweet little cuties who would get killed immediately lol!

13. Did 7 ever have to hide their relationship for any reason? – They both were kind of in denial about liking each other romantically, but that's not really the same thing. And they kind of broke up right after officially acknowledging they wanted to be together! I guess Stede was hiding his relationship when he went back to Mary.

14. Is 4 still together? – Kind of. The awful series finale makes their future murky.

15. Is 10 canon? – Yep, all of these ships are. I'm basic haha!

16. If all 10 ships were put into a couple’s Hunger Games, which couple would win? – Well Beast is the most dangerous physically, but he wouldn't want to kill anyone. So I'm going with Chuck and Sarah due to their physical training and Sarah's skill and lack of remorse over killing anyone she needs to.

17. Has anybody ever tried to sabotage 5’s ship? – Mostly Emma herself haha! I guess Neal and David kind of did, but not really actively/aggressively.

18. Which ship would you defend to the death and beyond? –  I strongly believe in all of them, but Belle and Beast are the most in need of defense because some people see them as toxic, so I'm the most prickly about defending their relationship, I guess.

19. Do you spend hours a day going through 3’s tumblr page? – Nope, they're not super popular on Tumblr. I think only 1, 5, and 7 have a strong presence on Tumblr.

20. If an evil witch descended from the sky and told you that you had to pick one of the ten ships to break up forever or else she’d break them all forever, which ship would you sink? – I guess Catherine and Henry just because they could each easily find someone else to love and be happy with and not be forever devastated by their breakup. They're not, like, soulmates, just two cute young people who happened to get thrown together.

Tagging some people if they want to do this: @loonysama, @thefamilybruno, @annaofthenorthernlights, @bad-at-names-and-faces, @thecassadilla, @keeshya6, @bethanydelleman, @thatscarletflycatcher + anyone else! (No pressure to do this as usual!)

[poetryofyouth]

mmhhh that last post made me think about Things™ again no no bad brain stop it also i didn't know there is a 30 tag limit per post hah

i am currently in a bit of a weird place regarding the whole SH thing because i don't think mentally i am all that unwell... the regular amount of unwell mostly, only occasionally suicidal and rarely all that serious about it. Though fascinatingly enough while in the past it was a bit more gradual - either low or ok or even genuinely good for long stretches of time - nowadays the thing that confuses me is that i will have a ok day and then still have a very bad night. or vice versa. it is a bit unforseeable when it will be bad and i honestly usually don't even see a reason.

anyways so the point is i am not unhappy... not significantly unhappy at least. But still in the last few months the topic of self harm has been more present for me than in the last two years, and i can't really tell why because i don't FEEL worse overall. And yet i have been slicing up my legs like back in the Bad Days.

I think a part is that I honestly don't really have any consequences now. I mean you learn with time. Put down a towel so you don't make a huge mess. Period Pads absorb a lot of blood. I can probably take apart any drug store razor in a matter of minutes. It's a skill babes and i have 11 years of practice

But I live alone now, no one i have to hide from. No one to notice if i were to get a little blood on the bedsheets after all. I haven't worn shorts in public in years so i don't even have to feel like i have to sacrifice wearing shorts now that i have fresh scars again. My legs habe never been scar-free in 11 years, so at this point it isn't really like i feel any need to preserve nice clean skin, there barely is any unscarred skin on my body, or well at least not where I would consider cutting. It's not like these kinds of scars will ever be really gone, so why try to not add new ones? what exactly is the downside even to not do that?

In truth I have never truly understood why some people (inpatient nurses) are so godddamn bothered. I mean, drinking yourself into oblivion every weekend is probably wayyy more dangerous and unhealthy and people do that openly. The fact that i eat wayy too much sugar and never exercise is way more detrimental to my body i am sure. But occasionally insuring myseld would shock people so much more. I am sometimes tempted to "accidentally" let my pants ride up at work so people would see my legs.... i wonder what their reaction would be. I think it would be disgust. My scars are not dainty scrathes i think most people wouls find them pretty shocking..

This might be the most crazy thing i have written here but, sometimes i get something out of it - feeling fresh cuts tingle under my pants while i am at work, acting normal. It is a certain kind of thrill, knowing i couls start bleeding without noticing and having people figure out that something is up. A lot less fun when i actually bleed in public hah but that hasn't happened in a long time, i am fairly good at avoiding accidents like that nowadays. practice makes perfect. But being in pain, having to not let anyone notice, continueing a friendly conversation, doing my job like nothing is wrong - that adds a bit of spice to the whole act of it.

It is annoying however because occasionally there will be times when i cant hide.. i have a gynecology appointment in September and there is no way my current scars will in any way be hideable during that. But i guess i'll cross that bridge when i get to it

And - that was in winter, way before my current return to the habit, something i still think about is when I dated someone for a while, and eventually I was undresses at a certain point. she didn't say anything back then, but later she texted me, asking about the scars. And honestly that was so very upsetting to me, her nonchalantly confronting me via text message about that, i lost all attraction for her. it sounds weird probably. i mean it was good before that, but at that . moment i knew it had to end because i just couldn't deal with that. i was not prepared for conversations like that. That probably makes me a bit of an asshole but i ended it shortly after that, i just couldn't see her anymore without thinking aboht that... it is silly of course, i mean people reacting to that is a consequence of my actions that i should have known would happen

but honestly, back then, it wasn't even on my mind. I hadn't done anything in a long time.. i didn't even think about my scars because at that point most were faded to white and not all that visible, i at that point had the least-visibly scarred body i had had in years.

I have started thinking that that probably is a reason for now... i mean, if even then my scars that i dont even notice anymore, are so shocking and worrysome to someone else - then there basically isn't a future where my scars won't be shocking - even if i never did anything again, so many parts of my body will never not be scarred. That kind of tissue damage only fades but will always be there, your fingers will always be able to feel them.

So why even bother. I won't have a body that isn't shocking in some way, why try to not do it again. I think some of the new scars are acts of pettiness to her... if she would ever know that i am sure she would feel horrible. She is a good person.... I am glad we don't talk anymore. I hope she is alright , I hope she finds someone who won't drag her down like I inevitably would. Maybe I choose to do this again so that i would never even consider getting close to someone like that again.... maybe. Maybe it is just a well-known and reliable comfort. Maybe it is my secret act of rebellion, maybe i like to prove to myself that i can endure pain. maybe i just like seeing blood. yeah it's all of these things

[i-like-sparkly-things]

Beautiful?

A Halstead!Sister

'But they don't know. They don't know what it's like to be you. They didn't know what it was like to wake up everyday, to a body you never asked for.

A body nobody wanted.'

Warnings : eating disorder, body insecurities, body dismorphia

Requested : Yup, by anon , 'could u do a fic where she has an eating disorder? and doesn’t tell jay but then one day she passes out at school and has to tell him?'

Word count : 1.7k

Note : this took too long I don't know why 😭but yall Guess who's thankful that yall bear with my English ? me. :) and ps this is my first request!! And yall please please know that all of you are so freaking beautiful and worth fighting for. Know that you are loved and it is never, ever weak to ask for help.

**************************

The constant pain and sleepless nights were paying off. Your eyes sparkled when you saw your new numbers. It was working.

You took your diary, crossing out breakfast on the to do list after eating a banana.

This was going to be simple. check what you eat, check your weight and repeat . You knew that if you tried really hard, you would be the one in control.

Control. That's all you wanted. Such an easy, yet painful thing.

You looked to the mirror, as your hands hovered over your ribs sticking to the skin . You'd never felt so beautiful in your life. But your eyes roamed down to your thighs. The flesh of your legs were touching. It wasn't enough.

It was never enough.

'' Y/n , come on ! Move your ass! I need to get to work!! '' Jay shouted for you, from downstairs.

'' Shut uppp I'm comingg'', you yelled back.

Ever since your mom had died, dad always kept to himself leading you to stay with your brothers. It had become a routine. Jay  would drop you off at school and Annie's mom would give you a ride home.

Lucky for you , Jay was constantly busy with cases. He hadn't noticed your new diet or the mood swings.

**************************

Your teacher had started the lesson. And slowly you sensed something wrong. Your head was pounding. God why is she so blurry? You look to Anne sitting next to you and she's Blurry too. You felt your body giving up to the swaying ground.

'' y/n!! '' Annie shreiked as your limp body crashed to the floor.

****************************

'' Chuckles!? '' Trudy called out,climbing the stairs to intelligence. "Do I look like a cocktail waitress to you? Where have you been??"

"Morning to you too, sarge" Jay sighed. "and its detective"

" Well , Detective , Y/n fainted at school and wanted you to pick her up"

"What ?" he asked shocked, aldready beginning to pick up his jacket.

"Sarge" he said, looking to Voight for approval, although he would leave nonetheless. "Go."

*****************************

"Mr. Halstead" the school nurse addressed him, as he entered the clinic.

"Call me jay. Y/n, are you okay? what the hell happened?" he asked you worried.

You had never fainted before and apart from the flu every couple of years, you had a clean bill of health, as far as he knew.

"Jay, I promise I'm fine. Just got a little dizzy, that's all" you answered knowing how overprotective he can get. Now all you could hope for was that he would let this slide.

"I tried getting some food in her but she told me she was fine" the nurse explained to Jay.

God No. the the salad she offered you had so many calories.  you had made too much progress nothing was going to stop you especially a simple fainting episode. It was a minor setback but you were sure you could continue your weight loss diet.

" What, WHY? " he questioned, but just  as you were thinking of a better reply " You know what, I'm gonna take her home." he interrupted your thoughts as he spoke to the nurse.

" Only if you are sure, you're good"

" I am Jay. One hundred percent." you replied, happy to skip the rest of the school day.

It's not like you've been paying attention any ways. You'd zone out a lot during class and  your constant hunger and cramps didn't help either. But you drowned these feelings away with small sips of water and occasional slices of cucumbers.

You Craved the Emptiness. the feeling of being lighter. The feeling of being....... perfect. It was intoxicating.

Taking your school bag, Jay wrapped a study arm around your shoulders , guiding you through the school corridors and towards his truck.

"God, I can't wait to go to bed", You said climbing the truck and fastening your seat belt.

"Yeah right. I'm taking you to med" he stated. "WHAT? Jay, what the hell ? I told you, I'm fine!!"

You knew Will was working and didn't want either of your brothers to know about your new diet or how much weight you had lost. It was too late to quit. The disgusting image in the mirror was slowly getting better..... getting thinner, prettier.

"You've never fainted before Y/n, and I promise I'll get Will to run the exams and do all the tests" he assured you.

****************************

"Y/n, I thought I told you I never wanted to see you here again.", Maggie greeted, pointing a finger at you.

"Awwww  but I missed you", you pouted, " No don't do that. your brother's waiting in treatment room 3 so you better get going." she instructed and you dropped your school bag near the nurses station.

You and Jay enter the room, to a very worried Will. "Y/n, what happened?" he asked , gesturing you to sit on the bed.

"did you hit your head when you fell? Did you fall in the bathroom or something like that?", he continued, not giving you time to answer.

"what did the nurses say? are you stressed about school?" " Will-", you interrupted his rambling " I'm fine, just..... got a little dizzy."

You watched , as he took his pen light to your eyes. "Ah! Will, stop!!" You said, trying and failing to refrain him.

"You know, it'll be easier if you stop squirming" Jay commented with a smug smile. "Your not going anywhere"

"Shut up" you groaned.

You need to get out of here. What if they gave you food. What if they found out you were hungry all the time. They'd never stop making fun of you. They'd tell you that you were overreacting and that all this was so unnecessary.

But they didn't know. They didn't know what it was like to be you. They didn't have floppy arms or fleshy thighs. They didn't know what it was like to wake up everyday, to a body you never asked for. A body nobody wanted.

******************************

"Jay" Will called out, seeing him outside your room. It had been a couple of hours since you were bought in.

Will had ordered some tests, being the ass he was.

Wonderful. You just hoped that all the tests would be normal and you could get the hell out of there.

"yeah man? just needed to text Hailey, Why, what's wrong?" Jay asked, studying the worried expression on his brother's face

"It's Y/n. "

***************************

You were fiddling with the hem of your t-shirt when your brother's walked in, staring at you, as if you were a ghost.

"Y/n," Jay croaked out his voice laced with dread, "how long?"

No. No. No. This can't be happening. God, you knew that they were going to hate you forever.

"what the are you talking about?" you needed to try to get them to back away."Is something wrong?"

They were standing on either side of your bed. Jay came closer and sat down on your right the beside your knees, eyes never leaving yours.

"Your tests-" Will started, "They came back showing you have severe deficiencies. That your body is struggling to survive. That it's not getting enough food." he broke away from your gaze.

"We um-" Jay, as if almost on queue, continued."We looked through your school bag and found your diary. "

You sucked in a sharp breath and shook your head. No. He knew. They knew.

All your calorie counts, the amount of calories you can have in a day, your research on diets, workouts, to do lists, hell, even your Period Tracker was written down. (although you barely had it anymore)

That book was the reason you were finally becoming happy with yourself. Your body.

'I'm sorry', you mouthed "I'm so, so sorry" This was it. Your voice hitched, as tears flowed down your cheeks. "I was finally happy"

In an instant, your brothers were by your side.

Jay engulfed you into his chest, your words circling his mind. 'Finally?' God, you lived together! You were his sister! His baby sister! How could he have let this happen to you? How could he not have noticed that you were drowning? That you were starving yourself. What kind of brother was he?

Will rubbed your back, until your sobs became quieter. He was a doctor. A damn doctor! God knows how long this has been going on, but at the end of the day.... he failed. He failed to be there,..... when you needed him.

"Y/n, you don't have to do this. You're beautiful Y/n. You really are. And I'm sorry that anyone else has convinced in otherwise" Jay breathed out, hoping you heard him, in his embrace.

"It felt good, Jay" your voice was muffled by his shirt, but to your brothers, your voice was loud and clear.

"Did it?" You turned to Will, "Did the hunger feel good?" his heart broke saying the words out loud.

'Yes', you wanted to answer. Of course it felt good. You were getting so many compliments from your friends at school. Boys started acknowledging you now.

It was like you finally existed. You felt...... worthy.

But with all the strength you could muster up, you couldn't get the words out. Because there was always one voice that told you to quit. The voice you'd been drowning out for so long. The voice that told you, that you were in fact, beautiful.

Your mother's.

"No" you said, realizing that Will had tears in his eyes as well.

But you couldn't find a hint of shame in them, no matter how much you searched. Instead, you were met with the immense worry and guilt of your brother.

"We can help, Y/n" Will said, as he took your hand in his, "We will help and we'll be there every step of the way."

"Every step" Jay assured and you turned to him. "All you need to do, is let us in"

You weren't prepared for this. You had no idea what to say.

You didn't want to feel tired all the time, always craving for food. But the idea of going back - back to all that shame - that's what scared you.

"Y/n," Will spoke up, seeing as you were struggling to answer, "I promise you, we are going to make you feel better...... and we'll fight those thoughts of yours together."

You took a shaky breath.

Thoughts.

Your thoughts.

You had let them consume you for a long time now. Too long. maybe..... Maybe the right voice to follow, was your mothers'. "okay-" you sobbed, "okay", and once again you found yourself in Jay's arms.

You, clinging to him like your life depended on it and him holding you tight, because it did. His hand rested on your head, tangled with your hair.

Will saw a tear make its way down his brothers cheek, something he hasn't witnessed often.

Your brothers sat silently, listening to you cry. Taking in the conversation, only having a glimpse of the pain you were in.

You had a long, long road ahead but as you sat in your brother arms, you felt a sense of peace, comfort maybe.

******************************

Masterlist

[zutaraplatter]

Avatar: The Last Airbender Critique

There are already a million of posts like this one, and I might be saying things that’ve already been said a million times but I’ve recently become reheated about the ATLA ending and wanted to let it out -_- No one asked, this is true, and this may or may not be a way to stall from this final project I still have to complete, but here’s 10 things I didn't like and/or would change about the show that likely shouldn’t need changing because they should have been done in the first place.

1. Katara should have apologized to Sokka after TSR

It should have happened and it didn't. In my canon-avoiding mind, Katara and Sokka have a heartfelt conversation where she apologizes for the awful things she said, Sokka says he forgives her and he's sorry if he wasn't as there for her as much as he should have been, which he follows up with "but I'm happy you listened to Aang and took his advice," leading into my next point

2. Katara should have said that not killing Yon Rha was her choice

And thats why it was the right one. Not because Aang already said it was wrong. No no. It was the right choice because that's what she chose. I love my mom to death and can't imagine losing her in any way, let alone the way Katara did. And I can't say for sure that if I was in her shoes that I know what I would have done f that yes I do I would have killed that motherfucker. But I also know that if Katara decided not to kill him, then that was one of two correct choices because they were Katara's choices to make. Not Aang's or anyone else's and this should have been clarified. I know it's a kids show but I said what I said. Next point.

3. Katara should have said more after telling Aang she was unsure at the Ember Island Players

Katara hasn't had any trouble saying how she feels, especially when it comes to helping others and making them feel better, whether she was right or wrong. But she holds back or overly softens blows and seems to even shrivel up at times when it comes to Aang. And me no likey. I had a boyfriend who I adored and admired and just genuinely looked up to. I'm also a shy and anxious person who hates confrontation, but because I loved him, I never refrained from telling him when he was wrong. I might have been a little shaky about it but I did it tho because when you want to be with someone you walk through the grass and stomp through the mud. And I personally feel like either in that moment or later on in an added scene that Katara should have voiced to Aang how unheard and disrespected she felt about his words before TSR and his actions on the balcony. I hate being uncomfortable and my secondhand embarrassment is toxic but I would love to see a scene of this. I always imagined Katara saying stuff like "But I'm not you Aang, and I'm not an Air Nomad," or "Zuko could understand why I needed to go, and I'd hoped you would too," or...I'm out of ideas but you get the idea. And you know what, I know I'm a hard Zutara shipper, but them having this conversation would honestly make me respect their relationship a whole lot more should it be believably written to end on a good note (I don't see how it could be but hey I'm an open minded person and I did think they were cute together once upon a time). Basically, all I'm saying is that Katara is no small voice and she should have been written that way when with Aang. Boyfriends can make you shy but should never make you weak. Period. Next point.

4. No rock! ONLY GROWTH!!!!!!!!!!!

I still squint my eyes whenever I remember that rock that unblocked Aang's chakra. What even was that? The laziest writing possible in my opinion. That's what. And Aang deserved better. What should have happened should have been that Aang started to lose to Ozai. And then as Ozai's about to deliver the finishing blow, Aang has flashbacks of everyone he's trying to save and honor, ending with a very prominent flashback of Katara with the guru's disembodied voice reminding Aang to let go of his attachments to become all he needs to be...then BOOM! Baby boy is back on his feet, chakra unblocked, he kicks Ozai's ass, I'm crying hysterically on the floor, as are the rest of us, and he wins. Then at the end of the series, instead of a kiss, he gives Katara an apology. She accepts, everyone else comes to join them on the balcony, cinematic group hug, camera pan into the sun. I don't know lol. Basically what I'm saying is that Aang did not deserve some deus ex machina. He deserved to grow and become his best self like everyone else got to.

5. Aang should have heard differently in The Storm

Katara is a very fate-minded person and this is when I saw potential for her to become a toxic character in regards to Aang. When he admits that he ran away from home 100 years ago, Katara tells him that that was basically a good thing because he was meant to be here and now. Like...no? What Aang did, though understandable for someone so young, was still wrong. Yes he would have maybe been killed but I'm like 10000000% sure they had a plan to protect and evacuate the literal avatar. And what was technically "meant to be" was a new avatar. But hey, what's done is done and kicking Aang while he's down is a no-no in this household. But that doesn't change the fact that Aang needed and deserved honesty. Maybe the fisherman could have said this, I don't know, but I feel like Aang should have been told by someone that although running away was wrong, it's a blessing he and Appa were able to survive and be able to help save the world now with his amazing friends found-family. Maybe this is too harsh, and maybe even outright wrong, but I felt like Aang deserved a truer answer here to support and comfort him.

6. MAILEE!!!!

Do I even need to go into detail?

7. Spiritual sigh*

Don't make me go into detail -_- I will say though that although Aang and Katara are both amazing individuals capable of earth shattering things, they were not a healthy fit for one another. This is evident in the original series and especially in their children from LOK. They both deserved the best but better than one another.

8. ZUTARAAAAAAA

This is a Zutara blog you KNEW this was coming, as it should. There's just too much. There's too damn much. I would give a real paragraph to this too, but, I mean, there's already so much proving that this was the pair. Fics, metas, rants, this site. Scroll through my blog or any of the ATLA related blogs I follow and...dude. These two were meant to be together and I'll mourn the narrative brilliance WASTED for no good reason every day for the rest of my life. No reason these two shouldn't be married with three kids. sob. I will take this part to say thank you to the amazing fic writers that gave Katara, Zuko, Mai, and Aang what they deserved that the writers didn't have the guts to give them themselves. Next point tho.

9. AANG AND ONJI

Good God almighty. Why not this? WHY NOT THIS? I'm putting on my bullet proof vest and I'm going to say this; Aanji is cuter than Zutara. Now before you scorn me or whatever, let me explain. Zutara for me is like steak. No. Chicken parmesan. I like chicken parmesan better. The point though is that Zutara is savory. You know? I don't see them as cute, I see them as Obviously. Aanji on the other hand is like a bag of my favorite candy. They are like a brownie. A cookie. Girl Scout Samoas!...I don't know what words are anymore. This post got way out of hand. I guess what I'm saying is that for Zutara, I scream, but for Aanji, I squeal. I hope that makes sense. But here's the main point I want to make. Onji never knew who Aang really was. And Aang was always, at his core, himself. She very obviously had a crush on Aang for his personality and that was crazy cute and frankly preferable to Katara's "I...guess he is." (you know exactly what I'm talking about) Anyway, I kept wanting more of them together. I wish all the time that we'd gotten to see her again, with a more fleshed out character and all. And in the way that I imagine the show should have gone, she could have been the perfect love interest for Aang, during this episode or way later, even in the comics! Another WASTED opportunity for greatness and I will, again, never recover T-T

10. Iroh get your ass back here

Maybe this is a misguided critique but I hated that Iroh just left Zuko alone in the fire nation at the end of the series. Baby was in trouble in every sense of the word and Iroh was just like "See ya! You got this nephew." I'm expected to believe that? I'm expected to accept that? No no no. He should have at least stayed for a few years to help Zuko stay upright and, you know, alive. And by "upright" I don't mean "good." I just mean been there to support him because Lord knows he needed it, at least in the beginning of his reign. It was cute that Iroh was able to settle down with his own teashop after all those years of violence and mourning and running and this and that. I was more than happy for him for being able to have that peace finally. But I still think it could have waited a little while longer so he could support Zuko.

That's it I guess. I know not everything I've said makes the most sense in one way or another, but I enjoyed putting it together all the same. Thank you for reading and have a great day. I'll go finish my final now.

(Edited for a typo)

[atiny-piratequeen]

Oh okay, in the story I'm writing the character who is being penetrated is the dominant one, and I think it would be really hot for her to train him gradually over time to adjust and be able to accommodate her body, moulding and conditioning his dick as well as his mouth to be able to take her, purely for her own benefit. I'm into d/s and powerplay so I assume this is why I like it. I into everything that comes with it, her "training" his dick to adjust to her pussy including being made to have his dick inside her for extended periods of time as part of his training, as well as him being told to use toys to size train himself on his own. And then slowly introducing different sizes (could be bigger or smaller, honestly I was kinda confused when you immediately started talking about smaller sizes cause in my head I was actually imagining size training to take larger orifices like how you were saying about in my first ask with larger insertions), and how it would be slightly painful/uncomfortable for him at first but she praises him and tells him how good he's being the whole time. I have some sadist tendencies I'm also into the idea of him getting to confident and trying to take more than he can handle at that moment and going to rough and hard and it being painful for him as a result and ending up "bambi walking" as you put it lol (although I feel like this is a different topic to gradual size training, and also even though I find the idea hot I don't actually want to send anyone to the hospital by fucking them, I don't find sexual injuries sexy in real life). Maybe it's weird, but I find the idea of his body literally needing time to physically adjust to her extremely hot, as well as his body being trained to take something it couldn't before and her needing to spend time on with him to help him and prep him properly to take her without being in pain and not risk hurting him if he's not ready for it, I like the vulnerability of him possibly being hurt so she has to help him prep and be gentle with him.

I'm not talking about if the partner being penetrated isn't turned on enough or isn't wet enough, or if they're uncomfortable or in pain, I'm just talking about them training their partner to take them before actually fucking them. Also, what if it's a demon au like with your fic and they literally have a different biology to humans and their genitals are different and so their dick needs to be trained to get used to it (this is not what I'm currently writing, it's just another thought I had).

Obviously using a toy that's way too small can be uncomfortable and cause injury but like you said, that's also true of someone who just decides to insert a 12 inch dildo up their ass no?

"there’s no real reason to train someone’s dick for insertion" "i suppose the only 'training’ you can do is with fleshlights that are a bit small for your dick size but like…thats a bit of an extra step when you should be prepping your partner" Idk tho isn't it kind of weird to prescribe what is the "right" way to do things or what "should" be done or that there's no reason to do something because surely that is down to the people involved and what they like/prefer? It seems you're saying that size training is necessary if you want to have sex with a toy/dildo that is larger than average? And quite a few people liked it so I'm assuming they agree, but what I don't get is what do people do if someone with a larger than average dick and/or their partner don't like or want these roles? Like I assume this must have happened before? You said that words of praise are important but what if the other partner doesn't particularly like to receive praise and would rather give it? What if the person with the larger dick likes the idea of being trained by their partner more than their partner being trained? What if the person being penetrated prefers to be the one to give foreplay and help prep their partner for sex and the big dicked person prefers to receive foreplay and be taken care of and be gently and slowly prepped by their partner?

Like I like having vaginal sex and I'm not into painful sex or receiving pain during sex but if I meet a partner who happens to have a larger dick, does that mean I have to do this if I want to have sex comfortably? Honestly I hate the idea of needing to be "trained" or "prepped" to take someone's dick, just thinking about it is kind of making me feel sick to be honest. I would much rather be the one doing the training and prepping, I want that role instead, but I still want to be penetrated at the same time, so where does that put me?

It sucks that it's not called size training, because for better or for worse the more edgy or obscure the kink or tag is the more attention and notes it tends to get and size related kinks in particular are usually very popular. I guess it just sucks that I see so many writers writing for these kinds of kinks like with your demon au fic and they get so many notes and comments from people who just love it praising them and gushing about how hot it is and it sucks to know that I'll probably never get that kind of attention because like your saying it isn't possible for me to write those kinks in reverse or if I can it won't appeal to as many people because there's no real reason for the act or doesn't make sense like it does the other way around and then I just, feel like I can't compete because I can't write stuff like that or write those kinks because it doesn't work that way around. And then I feel bad for feeling bad or for wanting that same kind of popularity or attention because I feel like I'm being ungrateful or bitter and I don't know how to deal with it. But thank you for talking to me.

I...m not gonna lie like the end of this ask really has a kind of vibe that rubs me the wrong way tbh.

I was going to try and tackle the several points here but on fucking god the way you came at me over this and how shit in here is worded really comes off as fucking rude. I never said every single time someone takes someone larger they need to be trained for it. Your first ask was literally "what is size training" not "does someone always need size training to take a larger person"

People always write things that may not be 'common' or have a specific name for it but the fucking passive aggressive (whether intentional or not) "I'll never get as many notes as you/people who write it like xyz" really rubs me the wrong way and felt like a fucking punch in the face to someone i was trying to help in earnest based on the questions you asked me.

Write whatever you want. But you dont go into someones fucking ask box and basically guilt trip them because of note count just because of a difference in the content you make and how you make it and the way readers consume it.

I cannot tell you how many times I've written something maybe my readers have never seen before or dont quite have a popular niche but people end up loving it. If you're that passionate about your work, write it the fuck anyway but don't ever go into someone's box sideways with the way you spoke to me at the end there.

By the way, what you're talking about sounds closer to cock warming with a submissive male and possible orgasm denial. Because like i said in both asks, you cant really train a dick for tighter things. If HES too uncomfortable taking a partner thats too tight, his partner should be looser. If your female character sits on his dick to get him used to her vagina, thats still her body slowly loosening up and eventually it'll be easier on him. And obviously size training isnt needed in every case and people are different. I never said anything was a hard line in how sex should happen.

[snarkwrites]

12 | gangsta; sweetpea

NOTES:

It's been a while. I've had these two chapters written for a while now but I haven't had time to sit down, edit them a little better and post them. Since I have time now, I thought I'd go ahead and do that, whether you guys asked for these next two chapters or not.

Sorry this took forever! Sorry I'm so slow, I've been settling into a new house and taking care of some IRL stuff / taking a little break. I swear, I'm going to update everything sooner or later. >.>

I love you guys.

WARNINGS:

NON/ LOOSE CANON COMPLIANCE - this is the biggest warning, so if you’re into things that follow exact canon plot you are… definitely not going to like this. ANGST & SLOW BURN, HEAVY SEXUAL TENSIONSTARTING NOW, ACTUALLY - this is just so everyone who started reading this thinking the smut would transpire in a hurry knows that apparently, it is not. VIOLENCE / SWEARING & FIGHTING, POSSIBLE UNDERAGE DRINKING AND OTHER SHENANIGANS- look.. it’s high school. shit happens. also apparently, my ofc Alyssa uses the word fuck like all the time?…EVENTUAL SEXUAL CONTENT / A VIRGIN ORIGINAL CHARACTER- this one is self explanatory. yes, i plan to write a smutty chapter in this at some point. when? i don’t rightly know. it’s got a while before we get there. STALKER TW - this chapter marks the true appearance of Alyssa's ex, Dave Novak. It's hinted heavily that he's a gross asshole who likes to play mind games.

If you're under 18+, probably not a good or wise idea to continue reading this series. Because there are going to be a few dark and adult themes within. I'll warn here, of course, but you need to understand that I don't control you. If you continue to read after having read the warnings and you're upset or don't like something... Totally on you, friend.

PAIRING:

Andrews!Sibling OFC x Sweet Pea.

TAGGING:

@brithedemonspawn is the only person on my Riverdale tag list. If you want to be added, the link to do so is below.

OTHER PARTS:

ONE - TWO - THREE - FOUR - FIVE - SIX - SEVEN - EIGHT - NINE - TEN- ELEVEN - soundtrack

OTHER STUFF:

[ about my writing - tag list doc ]

T W E L V E.

[773 - 589 - 7956] attachment

[773 - 589 - 7956] I think I decided how you can repay me, scarlet…

[773 - 589 - 7956] Better enjoy your quiet and happy little life while you still have it, scarlet. Because soon it’s all going to be ripped right out of your pretty little hands.

[773 - 589 - 7956] That boyfriend of yours isn’t even gonna be able to save you this time, scarlet. You’re mine.

[773 - 589 - 7956] See you soon, scarlet.

Each new text that came in had me tensing up. Careful to keep my phone out of sight of anyone who was nearby. My heart was about to beat right out of my chest and my stomach felt like it sank to the floor. I was barely listening to anything being said around me and I guess it was more obvious than I thought because Toni cleared her throat, nodding to the phone in my hand.

Gazing at me in concern.

“Everything okay? You look like you’re going to be sick.”

“Yeah,yeah. Everything is fine.” I lied. I think at that particular point in time, I was just trying to convince myself that this was all some kind of bad dream. Or worst case scenario, Dave was making empty threats.

Toni eyed me suspiciously. I tried to give her a convincing smile, but I’d have had to be an idiot to even think for a second that she believed me. She eyed my phone and reached for it. I managed to shove it in my pocket.

“Trust me.” I pleaded. She gave me a wary look and sighed, grumbling “Fine, okay. Alright.” under her breath.

And I did my best to push the texts out of my head. Jumping in the conversation she had going on with Cheryl and Veronica. Laughing and talking as if nothing were wrong.

Lying through the skin of my teeth.

XXX

“What’s got you so jumpy?”

The question caught me off guard. I wanted to tell someone what was going on, I really did, but… I didn’t want to worry anyone, either. I was at least 99.9 percent sure that there was absolutely no way that Dave would show up in Riverdale, at least that’s what I was hoping.

I did my best to play it off. Shoveling french fries into my mouth just so I didn’t have to answer right away. My cell phone lit up and I flinched before I could stop myself.

Toni reached for it and I quickly grabbed it and shoved it in my pocket. She gave me a concerned look and I muttered quietly, “Probably just Reggie...again.”

“Reggie’s with that new girl though?” Cheryl spoke up. Gazing at me thoughtfully. My breath caught in my throat because if anyone would catch on to there being something truly wrong with me or something off in the way I was acting, it’d be her or Polly.

So far, I’d managed to fool everyone else into thinking I was alright, even my dad and my brother.

,, Dave won’t come here, it’s not worth the hassle. He’s just playing mind games. That’s all this is. Pull yourself together.” the thought came and I managed a smile, shrugging.

“You’ve been acting weird all week, now that I’m thinking about it.” Cheryl was the one who said it and she gave me an expectant look. Waiting.

“I have not.”

,, I do have one secret I can spill. Maybe if I tell them about my crush on Sweetpea…” and so that’s what I did. Sighing as I reached for the shared plate of fries between the three of us. Raking my fries through my vanilla milkshake and taking a few deep breaths to kind of collect myself, both from Dave’s harassing texts and what I was finally about to get off my chest about having feelings for Sweetpea.

“You have. Start talking.” Toni spoke up, watching me. Sizing me up. If I had to guess, I’d pin money on her sitting across the booth, trying to figure out what was up with my jumpy attitude all week.

“Okay, alright. Fine. But what I’m about to tell you two does not leave this table, okay? It.. It can’t. If Sweetpea ever found out, pretty sure he’d start avoiding me and things would get weird.”

Toni and Cheryl exchanged a look and then Toni nodded. Chewing a mouthful of fries as she muttered calmly, “Go on.”

“ I may or may not have a crush on Sweetpea.”

“Oh, you definitely have a crush on him. It’s kind of obvious.” Cheryl gave a soft teasing grin and I sighed. Dragging my hand through my hair and taking a few seconds to let her words sink in. I almost dreaded asking, but I felt like I had to given that she said it was obvious. “Oh god.. He doesn’t suspect anything.. Right?”

“Oh, he’s the only one whose oblivious. But the rest of us, we’ve known a while.” Toni teased me. Then asked calmly, “Is that all? Why’s that have you so jumpy?”

“Because I know how bad I am at hiding things, okay? I was kind of… I dunno, freaking out I guess.” I eyed her, waiting. Searching her face in the hopes that she accepted what I said and didn’t keep pushing. A few seconds passed and she laughed softly. Took a sip of her strawberry milkshake and asked with a smirk, “Are you gonna do anything about it?”

“Probably not. Every time I even think about it, I manage to talk myself right out of it. He’d laugh his ass off, okay? Besides, remember all the flirting he was doing with Josie when they had to work together during the play?” I pouted as I pointed it out.

Cheryl and Toni exchanged looks and Toni laughed. “He was doing that to make you jealous. Or that’s what I think he was doing. Either way… I think you should do something. He’s not going to and trust me… I’ve known the guy my whole life. I know him well enough to say that I know he has a thing for you. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have been so cranky when you two first met?”

“I thought he was just naturally grumpy?”

“Oh, he is, but the way he was towards you was totally different. He’s only that grumpy when he’s trying to keep his defenses up.” Toni informed me before finishing off her shake.

The door to the diner opened and Sweetpea walked in, Fangs in tow. The two of them were laughing about something. I gave both Cheryl and Toni a pleading look and Cheryl seemed to pick up on my unspoken plea to change the subject thankfully, because she asked, “Are you going to F.P’s retirement party at the Wyrm?”

“Yeah.” I answered, finishing off my milkshake. Sweetpea flopped into the booth beside me, carelessly slinging an arm over the back of the seat. His hand brushed against my shoulder and I swear just the small brush against me felt like someone had taken a livewire and dragged it over my body real slow.

Toni smirked at me, nodding at Sweetpea while he was too busy wolfing down french fries to notice and I shook my head.

“I dare you. No… I triple dare you.. Flirt with him.” Toni gave a teasing grin as she mouthed the words to me and I swallowed hard.

She’s not playing fair. She knows I can’t turn down a dare.

I happened to glance out the window of the diner and when I thought I saw Dave standing there, leaning against a streetlamp, one hand in his pocket and a cigarette dangling between his lips, I nearly choked. This prompted Sweetpea to start hitting me on the back lightly as he laughed and looked at me in concern. “Damn cherry, are you trying to kill yourself?”

Toni’s brow raised and Sweetpea explained what happened earlier in the day, how I’d nicked myself with the scalpel in our first period class while doing a dissection. What Sweetpea didn’t know was that when it happened, it was because I thought I’d seen Dave standing outside in the parking lot, only to blink and the parking lot be empty.

I have got to stop letting his stupid mind games get to me. It’s just because he’s texting me again. It’s just because he knows how to work me up and get me all scared, he used to be good at it when we dated.

He’d never come to Riverdale. He’s just doing this to me for his own sick amusement and every single time I let him get to me, especially when I’m to a point where I’m so paranoid I’m imagining that I see him everywhere lately, it’s letting him win and that pisses me off more than anything.

I’m supposed to be stronger than that, damn it.

Toni eyed me suspiciously and I braced myself. When she didn’t bring up my skittish behavior, I relaxed a little.

I wanted to tell someone what was going on, but at the same time, why? I’m pretty sure this is just Dave, being an absolute bag of dicks.

It has to be that. It has to be.

XXX

He stood outside some podunk little diner right in the heart of town. The hazy red neon gave off a comforting and inviting warmth and he lit his cigarette, fuming in anger as he watched her sitting inside.

“I know you’re not ignoring me, scarlet. I know you’re not.” he muttered, mostly to himself as he turned the collar of his leather jacket up against the wind and started to walk towards the South Side.

Maybe it was time he paid his old buddy Eric a visit. Eric was out of prison. Eric was the one who’d told him where Alyssa was to begin with, though he didn’t realize it.

Dave chuckled and shook his head as he walked towards the shitty apartments on the opposite end of town where Eric lived. Eric owed him a few favors. He was coming to collect.

“Did you really think I was jokin when I told ya I have friends all over? That you weren’t ever gonna get away from me?” he mused to himself as he knocked on the door of a first floor slum apartment.

Eric opened the door, leaning in it lazily. Blinking at him in a daze and smirking. High fiving him as he asked him why he was in town.

Dave whipped out his phone, showing Eric a picture of Alyssa. At first he gave him some story about her running off while he was in the pen. Eric wasn’t buying it, he could see it written in the expression on his face. And that only made him angry. Eric owed him. He was here to collect the favor owed. All he wanted was for Eric to help him out on this one little thing.

Eric shook his head, chuckling in disgust. Gazing at him with a brow raised. “I think you need to leave, man. Now. You don’t want the heat this is gonna bring down on you. And I’m not about to get on a Serpent’s bad side, even if the Serpent in question is just a damn kid.”

“See, I’d like to just put this all behind me, man... but she’s the whole reason I even went to prison to begin with. Then I get out and find out not only is my girl not loyal, she’s also the one who snitched on me?” Dave eyed Eric. Getting irritated because this was not how he saw the conversation going.

“I’m telling you, you need to leave. Forget about Alyssa. I see her around all the time with some kid… Sweet Pea or Green Bean, some shit. The Serpents are not people you fuck with, man. Not around these parts.”

“You know the Serpents aren’t shit to me… Right?” Dave quipped, smirking. “I’ve got this under control. I just need you to help me out a little… C’mon, man. You owe me.”

“I don’t fucking care. I’m not helping you do whatever it is you’re here to do. What I oughta do is put a bullet in your fucking head for even thinking I’d be down for this shit. She’s a kid, man. A fucking kid... Favor or not, man… I’m on the Serpents side with this. Not yours. You need to leave.” Eric warned, giving Dave a firm glare as he folded heavily tattooed arms over his chest.

“Oh, so that’s how you’re playin, huh? Okay. Alright. All I wanna do is see her again. I’m not going to do anything. I just want to straighten things out. Get a little closure on the situation...”

Eric scoffed. “This coming from the king of overreaction. I don’t trust you.I’m breakin code of my gang by even talking to your ass. Nope. The answer is no. I’m not helping. Do whatever you have to do to me, but I’m not about to help you scare some kid. I’ve got better things to do with my time, buddy...”

Dave’s arm shot out and he pinned Eric against the door of his apartment. Smirking at him calmly. “I know you haven’t forgotten just how much your sorry ass owes me. Because that’s what this sounds like.”

“I guess that’s what it is then. Because I’ve seen what the Serpents can do. I’m not about to bring all that down on my head.” Eric stepped back inside his apartment, slamming the door in Dave’s face, leaving him to glare at the closed door and take a swing.

“Guess I’m doing this all by myself.” Dave mused as he turned and wandered down to a shitty dive bar nearby. He needed to have a few rounds. Come up with a plan.

And a little after midnight, after finding himself a few new talkative friends in some local Ghoulies, things were starting to look up for him. And he was slowly forming a plan.

Now he just had to wait. Pick his moment. Toy with her a little more.

“I’m so close I can almost touch you, scarlet. Soon… Soon you’re going to pay for running your mouth to mommy about me...” he smirked to himself as he unlocked his hotel room and stepped inside.