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sftyngs · 8 years ago

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BTS Orchestra! AU | Seokjin

Ya girl is back with more bts orchestra! au’s, also imagine kim soekjin in the all black concert attire IM–

anyways, enjoy!

Jimin ver. | Yoongi ver.

oh man

this one is gonna be gr8

ok so Kim Seokjin is like a fucking prodigY

he’s that one kid who plays like every instrument in the string orchestra pluS does banD aNd choir

but his true love is orchestra ok he don’t joke around with his precious orch

also he’s super good too like wtf

everyone is lowkey jealous but highkey in love with him oK

anyways he started off playing violin freshman year

he was probably second chair too bc his audition was perFect

then sophomore year he switched to cello and then halfway through the year played bass bc (“Seokjin can you play bass this semester, I know you’ve never pla–” “ok”)(and he was one of the best fucking bass players the orchestra has had, next to Min Yoongi of course)

but then found his true love pLaying VioLA OMG

he’s the one kid that always has to start shit with the cellos about what instrument is the beSt (but the cellos are always like “dude wtf u played cello” and he’s always like “sO”)

is the viola first chair but sometimes leads the viola and violin sections in sectionals

gets really defensive when someone says violas are lame

gives them the stink eye and then ignores them and then that person feels v bad and apologizes bc (“yoU inSULTEd SeokJin oPPA hOw dArE–”)

he even has his own lil fan club within the music department

like all the girls in orchestra and choir and band all bonded over the fact that they all think Kim Seokjin is so beautIFUL

he knows about it but doesn’t really say anything and when someone (Yoongi) brings it up he’s like “whEn wiLl u evEr YoOngi”

ok let’s be real here he’s best friends with dearest Yoongi who plays the bass and piano

he’s like one of the only people who can actually talk to him and make yoongi laugh but also give him extreme secondhand embarrassment

like seokjin is always telling dad jokes and making stupid puns 1. Bc he thinks he’s hilarious and 2. Bc it makes Yoongi cringe so much he has to leave the room for a few seconds

its gr8, jokes aside(literally) they have a tru bromance its cute

anYWAYS when seokjin plays solos during practice all the girls sigh bc wOw (his solos always have people crying)

nOw, you do both orchestra and tennis so sometimes u miss practices for both and it’s kinda hectic but u love it

tbh you love orchestra like it’s one of ur favorite extracurricular activities but like kiM SeoKjIn makeS u sO nervOus omFG

like u didn’t even know Jin knew ur name until he turned around in his seat and asked you if you had any rosin

ur a viola player btw u sit behind seokjin and its v nerve racking bc sometimes the second chair viola isn’t there and neither is ur stand partner so the conductor makes u sit up next to Seokjin and its like fUck ‘doNt makE anY mistAkeS’

anyways Jin was like “hey Y/n do you have any rosin”

you literally stop tuning ur viola and stare at him bc “you know my name?”

Jin rolls his eyes and tbh looks offended

“yes I know ur name why wouldn’t I, I know everyone’s name”

and ur like “,,,,,??? Bc u never talk to me”

and he’s like baffled bc he taLks to evEryoNe whY doeSnt he talK to yOu

“I’m pretty sure we’ve had a conversation before”

and ur like “nope”

“what about that one time at the spring concert when we talked while tuning the kid’s instruments”

“that wasn’t even me seokjin”

,,,,,,,”oh”

so Jin is like “well from now on I’m going to have a conversation with you every day

and ur like WH a t

and he like smiles and ur like GshdBDBSKZJGDDB FU KF

and he keeps his promise okay the next few days u go to practice and when he sees you he says hi and asks you how ur doing and at first ur were like wtf leave me alone but after the second day ur like okay I guess I can roll with this

then the day after that u don’t come to practice bc like hey u gotta go to tennis practice

and Jin is so confused bc he has a stREAK GOING

so he asks around and then like one of the other violists is like “lol u didn’t know??“

and for a second Seokjin panics bc WhTA IF SOMETHING HAPPENED

and the kid is like "they’re on the tennis team they always go to practice on this day”

and Jin just stares at the kid like ,,,,wh a t

so throughout the whole practice Seokjin is like “how do I do this, why diDNT THEY TELL ME IM–”

so after practice he finishes cleaning up and stacking chairs and stands bc hES A SAINT

and then he’s out the door highkey speed walking over to the tennis courts bC HE IS NOT LOSING HIS STREAK BUt also bc he really wants to see with his own eyes u playing on the tennis team

when he finds you on the courts ur like doing suicide runs bc someone on ur team insulted the coach and now y'all are in trouble

ur cursing said person out bc “dude wtf whY wOULD YOU—”

and Seokjin is just like staring bc wow he didn’t know you did tennis

and he just stands there staring like he’s seen the most amazing thing in the world

after u finish suicide runs one of your team members goes to get a drink of water and they’re like "are you looking for someone?”

and Seokjin is like “oh yeah I’m just waiting for y/n”

so ur teammate shouts back at you and their like “HEY Y/N YOUR BOYFRIEND IS HERE”

and u turn around bc ur like “ w haT”

and when u see Seokjin, he does like this lil wave and smiles at you with that gorgeous smile and gOD u want to meLt into the groUnd bc kIM SEOKjiN

everyone starts whistling and catcalling you two and ur just like “shUT UP”

jin decides to play along and when you walk up to him he throws his arms around you and screams “jAGIYA I MISSED YOU”

and ur whole team just starts yelling and hooting and wolf whistling at you two and you can’t keep ur cheeks and ears from heating up

so u drag Seokjin by the hand to where the locker rooms are and your like ?????? “What is it”

and Jin is just like “I didn’t know you played tennis”

and ur like “that’s because you never talk to me”

so he’s like “weLL that’s why I’m here, you can’t just break my streak like that y/n”

but ur like “everyone knows I don’t go to practice today”

"i diDNT KNOW”

u get up real close and touch his chest lightly with ur index finger, and u can hear his breath stutter bc wow heLlO

“well now you do”

Kim Seokjin is ShOokT

and then u start to walk back to the tennis courts before your coach gives u more suicides

and u can hear Jin running up to you and then he’s like “go out with me”

and you stop and ur like “whA t”

Jin can’t really understand what the fuck he just said either but fuCK IT

He like shrugs and he’s like “go on a date with me on Saturday”

and u just stare at him for a few seconds and then,,,,,“ok”

seokjin is lowkey in shock bc wow you really said yes

“I’ll see u around Kim Seokjin” and then ur walking back to the courts and Jin just keeps staring after u bc wow

halfway home he’s like !!!!!?????? “I SONT HAVE THEIR NUMBER WHT THE FUCK KIM SEOKJIN”

and he startles Yoongi so bad he almost crashes the car and Yoongi is like “hYUNG WHAT THE FUCK”

but Jin can’t think bc he’s scrolling through his contacts to see if he has someone’s number who will possibly have your number

after Yoongi starts driving again he’s like “whAT are u even looking fOr”

and Jin is like “I ASKED Y/N ON A DATE AND I DONT EVEN HAVE THEIR NUMBER”

he’s kinda lowkey whining and almost crying

Yoongi is so ready to slap his friend bc–“hyUNG WHAT THE FUCK I ALMOST CRASHED BC OF THAT”

but he sees the distress on seokjin’s face and he’s like “okokok look I have their number I’ll just give it to you”

and Seokjin gasps really loud and he’s like “REALLY”

Yoongi just nods

“wait why do u have their number” insert suspicious and slightly jealous Kim Seokjin

“we were once in a quintet and I needed their number to give them a ride chill hyung”

hhHhhhHhmMmMmMmmMMM

anyways Yoongi gives Jin your number and sends him on his merry fucking way

gOd he can’t believe he’s friends with him

anyways Jin texts you later in the day asking if he has the right number

and your like ,,,,,,????? How u have my number

seokjin is like “Yoongi gave it to me I hope u don’t mind”

and ur like “lmao ok,,,,,”

u think it’s cute he was too shy and forgot to ask for ur number

anyways u arrange details for the date and oh boy oh boy u both are hella nervous but still excited

finally the day arrives and both of u are like holy sHIT this is acTUALLY HAPPENING

ok not to be lame but like u both are music dorks and so Seokjin decides to take u to see a symphony concert and little does he know that they’re playing ur favorite piece and when u get to the concert hall ur like ????? “Can u read minDs”

and he’s like “n-no…why? Do u not like it????? I thought it would be n-nice,,,,,wE caN gO somEwhEre eLse if u wNt”

but u just beam at him bc “Seokjin idk how u knew this was my favorite symphony piece ever but this is honestly the nicest thing anyone has ever done thank u so much”

he melts, he’s like so close to just kissing u then and there bc “I think I’m in love o fuCk”

so u guys get the tickets and walk inside and ur so excited ur basically skipping up the escalators

seokjin has never seen someone look so beautiful,,,,,,,wOw

when u get to ur seats ur like !!!!!!! “ThIS IS SUCH A GOOD VIEW SEOKJIN WOW”

Jin just keeps look at u bc he can’t get enough of u

from the moment the first player starts tuning and practicing before the actual concert starts u are so enthralled like holy moly

then the actual music starts and oh boy

there’s this look of pure bliss and love on ur face Seokjin can’t describe it but he loves it so much

bc he’s never found anyone who can really appreciate classical music on the same kind of level as him

there’s a certain part in the song that has u gripping Seokjin’s hand like ur life depends on it

he’s pretty sure he saw some tears in ur eyes at some point

whenever there is a viola solo you two hardcore freak out bc those are so raRE

and he’s just honestly so content sitting there and listening to beautiful music and looking at someone just as amazing

man he has it bAd

at some point u two just end up holding hands bc it feels nice and just comfortable

towards the middle of the concert u see a married couple sitting in front of you who is like falling asleep and u start giggling

and u nudge Seokjin to get his attention and he looks at u like ????? even tho u look cute, why u giggling

and u subtly point at the couple and when he sees he stares for a while before he starts shaking bc he’s trying not to make any noise as he laughs

this makes u laugh more and soon u both are just a giggling mess and people are starting to throw u looks

at this point u both don’t care bc ur so gone and the guy’s head is lolling around and his wife is trying to both stay awake and wake up her husband and oh man

u hide ur face in Seokjin’s shoulder bc u just can’t and ur trying to calm down enough to pay attention to the concert and Jin just thinks it’s really cute and he’s like !!!!!!!!!!!!

also not to mention ur like ‘his bicep is so firm’

once the concert is over u wait for everyone to leave and u two just sit there bc wow that was so beautiful

u look over at Jin and ur like “thanks so much for this, you have no idea how much it means to me”

he smiles at u and intertwines your fingers and he’s like “my pleasure”

you two keep looking at each other bc u two just can’t believe ur here with a person u both care about

then u both start leaning towards each other

and slowly but surely you two kiss

and it’s the most gentlest thing ever

like his lips feel so nice on urs and vice versa

Jin doesn’t want to pressure u so he takes his time and once he pulls away he just stares at you and smiles the sweetest smile

ur just like “wow…”

then the ushers are kicking u two out bc “excuse me, the concert is over, you can’t stay here please exit thank you”

u two are like o riGht

whilst walking out Seokjin is like “man I’m so glad I asked u for rosin that day”

ur like ?????? “u know this could have happened faster if you haD TALKED TO ME BEFORE”

and Seokjin is like "I SWEAR TO GOD WE’VE HAD A CONVERSATION BEFORE OK, FIGHT ME ON THIS Y/N”

u just snort and walk towards the car

and Jin runs after u like “jAGIYA WAIT”

“j-JAGIYA?????!!!!”

oh man Kim Seokjin is sO whIpPed for yoU

but so are u ok its fine its ok

Bonus:

on the following Monday u two walk into orchestra practice together holding hands

lots of stares and open mouths

someone dropped their bow while staring

“what do u mean u two are together wh AT”

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alwaysjaimee · 8 years ago

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1-100 ;)

wow alright!!

1) Sexuality?

Straight

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

Alison Sudol, Emily Blunt, Taylor Swift, Emma Watson

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

‘forehead. If it hadn’t been for Voldemort, Harry would still….’ - Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - J.K. Rowling

4) What do you think about most?

Everything. Anything I can stress or worry about mostly

5) What does your latest text message from someone else say?

its the crying face emoji…

6) Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

with Pjs

7) What’s your strangest talent?

um I don’t even know tbh

8) Girls…. (finish the sentence); Boys…. (finish the sentence)

‘Girls can conquer the world’

‘Boys can drive you insane’

LOL

9) Ever had a poem or song written about you?

Not that I know about

10) When is the last time you played the air guitar?

prob yesterday in the car to annoy my friend

11) Do you have any strange phobias?

I don’t think any of them are necessarily strange… Although I have a fear of Hyenas yet there are none anywhere near me or have I ever really been around any…

12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

I don’t think so..

13) What’s your religion?

technically atheist. but I do think there is a god out there

14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

Reading or hanging out with friends or my dog

15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

I like both

16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

A Fine Frenzy. That counts as a band right?

17) What was the last lie you told?

Im not actually sure

18) Do you believe in karma?

Yeah a little

19) What does your URL mean?

‘Always’ is from Harry Potter and ‘Jaimee’ is my name

20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

I think my greatest weakness is; animals (

I think my greatest strength is; my judge of character

21) Who is your celebrity crush?

Eddie Redmayne and Zac Efron

22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

nope

23) How do you vent your anger?

many ways. Song writing, dart throwing, crying and sleeping etc. depending on the situation also bottling it up for later

24) Do you have a collection of anything?

I have a collection of snow globes and keyrings from places I’ve been. I also have a few Pop Vinyls. I also collect all the movie tickets and concert tickets that I’ve attended.

25) Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

Depends on the person

26) Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

sort of. I don’t think Im fully to the point I want to be just yet

27) What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

Hate; Balloons popping, scrapping of forks/spoons on plates, nails on a chalkboard etc

Love; waves crashing against the shore, pianos, acoustic guitars, laughter etc

28) What’s your biggest “what if”?

‘What if I had the courage to do that’

29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

yes to a degree

30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

right arm; Book

Left arm; Pillow

31) Smell the air. What do you smell?

The coconut ‘Victoria Secret mist’ I sprayed earlier

32) What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

um idk

33) Choose East Coast or West Coast?

of America? or Australia?

America; Seen the West Coast, not the East so ill go with East

Australia: East

34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

Voice wise Michael Buble

35) To you, what is the meaning of life?

Love. Family and Friends

36) Define Art.

Everything. The essence of the world. A way to make everything okay, even for a little while

37) Do you believe in luck?

sort of

38) What’s the weather like right now?

coldish

39) What time is it?

1:55am

40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

Yes I do drive. NO I haven’t crashed

41) What was the last book you read?

Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban

42) Do you like the smell of gasoline?

sort of

43) Do you have any nicknames?

Scout

44) What was the last movie you saw?

Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them

45) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

cracked my head open

46) Have you ever caught a butterfly?

Ive had them land on me but not ‘caught’ them

47) Do you have any obsessions right now?

Im low key obsessed with Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them

48) What’s your sexual orientation?

straight

49) Ever had a rumor spread about you?

yes

50) Do you believe in magic?

Yes. Makes you believe anything is possible.

‘Without even the possibility of magic, you’ll never find it’

51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

If what they did was bad enough, then yes

52) What is your astrological sign?

Aries

53) Do you save money or spend it?

spend. but if I have something to save for I’m generally quite good

54) What’s the last thing you purchased?

a birthday present for a friend and face wash (riveting I know)

55) Love or lust?

Love

56) In a relationship?

not right now

57) How many relationships have you had?

none that were very important

58) Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

nope

59) Where were you yesterday?

Out for lunch and shopping with one of my friends

60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

my slippers, iPad, pillow, lamp and a box

61) Are you wearing socks right now?

Nope

62) What’s your favorite animal?

Dog

63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

humor/wit/sarcasm

64) Where is your best friend?

at her house asleep

65) Spit or swallow?

LOL

66) What is your heritage?

Australian, New Zealand, English, Irish, Scottish

67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

Watching Youtube videos

68) What do you think is Satan’s last name?

um wtf

69) Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

some questions just shouldn’t be asked

70) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

I think so

71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

Save the dog. Couldn’t live with that guilt. If your boss still fires you after that, they’re not a good person to work for

72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a) Thats hard. I think maybe? but then thats a lot to put onto someone

b) Spend as much time with everyone as possible. See nature, read, try new foods etc

c) To an extent, hell yes

73) You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

GAH THATS HARD.

love. if someone really loves you they will strive for your trust and vis versa

74) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

‘Blow Away’ A Fine Frenzy

75) What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

Trust, love, communication

77) How can I win your heart?

Being genuine, funny, kind hearted and trustworthy

78) Can insanity bring on more creativity?

honestly it can

79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

moving on

80) What size shoes do you wear?

between a 9-10

81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

something like

‘family and friend. kind to everyone’ or something

82) What is your favorite word?

Serendipity

83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

break

(darker than I would have thought)

84) What is a saying you say a lot?

‘bless’ and ‘anyway’

85) What’s the last song you listened to?

‘Lifesize’ - A Fine Frenzy

86) Basic question; what’s your favorite color/colors?

Purple, blue, light green/pastel green, pink, black

87) What is your current desktop picture?

iMac; Golden Gate Bridge at sunset surrounded by cloud

Laptop; Yosemite with a pink/purple sky

Phone; Me and my friend before she left to move to London

88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

wow. um no one. well I mean, no one Im actually gonna write…

89) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

hmm thats tough

90) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

scream and cry without a doubt

91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

Telekinesis

92) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

probably something with my parents when I was younger. Like a party or game night or something like that.

93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

the stuff that happened in 2012

94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

Does Zac Efron count?

95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

London

96) Do you have any relatives in jail?

Not that Im aware of

97) Have you ever thrown up in the car?

I don’t think actually in the car. but outside the door, yes

98) Ever been on a plane?

Yep

99) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

STOP HATING ON EACH OTHER. ACCEPT EACH OTHER. HATRED AND ANGER DOESNT SOLVE ANYTHING. WE ARE ALL HUMAN. WE ALL BREATHE THE SAME, BLEED THE SAME, DREAM THE SAME. NO ONE IS BETTER THAN SOMEONE ELSE SIMPLY BECAUSE OF THEIR GENDER, RACE, SEXUALITY OR ANYTHING ELSE. STOP KILLING EACH OTHER, STOP BULLYING EACH OTHER. LET PEOPLE LOVE WHO THEY WANT. HELP PEOPLE, DONT HURT PEOPLE. PROTECT EACH OTHER. BE KIND TO EACH OTHER. BE KIND TO ANIMALS. PROTECT ANIMALS. PROTECT NATURE. BE KIND TO OUR PLANET, ITS THE ONLY ONE WE’VE GOT

yep basically.

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adambstingus · 6 years ago

Text

Are You The One Season Finale Recap: Just Put Me Out of My Goddamn Misery (PART TWO)

Since everyone bitches and whines about how long my recaps are, I separated them into two parts. Pick up a book, you lazy pieces of shit and read part 1 here >>

Chuck is like, were not going to win so next match ceremony Im picking Britni and everyone is like Chuck and Alec start yelling at each other and having a food fight, which pisses off Alec more because hes a firm believer that you should never waste food.

Alec: WE SHOULD NEVER QUIT Chuck: Eat a dick dude

Chuck goes up to push Alec, which is a huge mistake surfer brah, and Alec shoves Chuck to the ground like hes made of paper. Alec, congrats, your ovaries have officially transformed into a small chode of a penis. Gotta start somewhere.

Britni is like You would shove Chuck, who btw looks like a Ken doll version of the lead singer of AFI, for money?! Thats some shit ONLY poor people would say. Britni, people have done way worse shit for way less money. Read a book, tune into the news, watch Empire (or read my recaps).

Rashida and Devin are like And I agree. I did not sit through 10 weeks of this retarded shit to watch yall give up.

Devin is like If I can get this fresh batch of mentally incapable humans to win this stupid fucking reality show, it would be equivalent to the greatest feat in sports history. Which sport? Speed walking? Turn on ESPN Devin, I fucking dare you.

Zak and Hannah are mourning the fact that they arent a match, and tbh, I am too.

Cheyenne is talking to Devin about how he is disrespectful and is like

Devin: (actual quote) Im a shit head, but not a total shit head. – I honestly dont even need to try and be funny for these recaps, they all say enough stupid shit where I dont even have to try.

THE GAME

Chuck is like, I was hammered last night and said dumb shit and Im going to actually play this thing. Thank god Chuck, otherwise I seriously would have cunt punted you, and your little dog too! (Britni)

The game is the easiest one of the season: its an obstacle course with girls sitting on their back. There is a true/false section, where if the team guesses it right, then they get 30 seconds off their time.

Zak and Kayla are in first, which is crazy because Zak might be the smallest out of all of them. Alec is terrible with this shit and is back to being a giant bitch.

Melanie and Tyler go to the true or false thing, where Mel admits she offered Chuck a threesome, which is a new low.

Kayla and Zak win, being the Italian stallions. Rashida and Devin get second and Mel/Tyler get third because they answered the question right- aka, Mel is a closeted freak.

Stacey is talking to Nelson about how she has no idea who her match is and shes talking so fast I could have sworn it was a Gilmore Girls episode. You can def tell Stacey is fucking hammered in this, but its cool. I love Stacey. And apparently so does Nelson. Okay whatever.

Meanwhile, Alec is flirting with Amanda and Kiki is like WTF. Which is literally her reaction to everything- WTF.

THE DATE

Theyre hanging out on fucking boat that doesnt even have a bar. That sounds like some Life of Pi shit.

Devin and Rashida are flirting and shes like except this shitty white guy with a butt chin.

Zak and Kayla are like you remind me of my family so they must be a match- some fucking Freudian shit right there. Chelsey the aspiring psychologist is probably fucking creaming her pants somewhere in the distance.

Tyler and Melanie are like, were besties and Tyler thinks thats code for match but Mel was like,

THE TRUTH BOOTH

The group makes a smart decision for once ,(they probably all broke out in hives afterwards because we all know they are allergic to brainpower), and send Zak and Kayla to the truth booth. Hannah is like Hannah save the stupid lines for Hunter please, babe.

Zak and Kayla make their way to the truth booth, looking like a set of fraternal twins walking into their grandmas 90th birthday. Not gonna lie, Im stressed right now. Im on bottle number 2 of wine, and shit is REAL rn.

Results are in and- THEYRE A PERFECT MATCH! YAAAAAAASSSS.

Everyone is screaming and jumping while Hannah is like, . Its okay Hanz, its not like these matches are real. Those rules arent even real! They were real that day I wore a vest!

Alec and Kiki are flirting and they are drunk AF and Kiki is like Shes talking about how she got stupid fucking matching bracelets for her perfect match and Im like

Devin is doing his shit math again using red solo cups, I feel like an algebra class is being taught in a frat house. Aka this shit is dumb AF.

They determine there are two scenarios- one where Kiki mtches with Alec, and one where she doesnt. Guess which one best friends forever bracelet Kiki wants?

The decide to use deductive reasoning and rationality.

Jk, they decide to flip a fucking coin. I CANT RIGHT NOW WITH YOU PEOPLE. Hunter is like Here is a quarter and ew, I dont trust anyone who has change offhand like that. Get a fucking debit card, you hillbilly fuck.

Kiki is upset because they get scenario one, but you know if the coin flipped for the scenario she wanted shed be like PERFECT! ITS ALL SETTLED, THIS COIN IS HOLY.

Tyler is like, Fuck your heart Tyler, fuck it. Austin is like WOAH you need to figure this shit out. Like I dont mean to sound aggressive, but if you fuck us all over were probs gonna stab you.

Never did I ever think that the game would rest in Tylers hands. Take a drink to that.

THE FINAL MATCH UP CEREMONY

Devin is like, there is a high possibility we lose- not high, almost definite. But he thinks they chose scenario one for a reason, that reason being a coin flip.

Ryan gives some speech about love and how they need it and its like, save it Ryan. Empire comes on in 20 minutes and I need to get this show on the road.

Austin is first and he picks Britni– basing it off the fact that he wanted a girlfriend who would be a ghost for most of their relationship and they would get together eventually when it was convenient. You know what thats called? A fuckbuddy. You came on a reality show to find a fuckbuddy. May I suggest Tinder next time?

Hunter is next, and Ryan is like, do you all have a strategy? And hes like clearly fate isnt on our side, so we decided to do a coin flip. So, fates not on your side, and you decided to rely on it again? Seems legit.

Ryan is like, And Connor and Chelsey are like

Hunter picks Hannah, which is a weird match but whatever I dont care anymore. Im gonna be honest, this whole season I thought Hunter was secretly gay.

Devin is up next and he picks Rashida. Rashida, girl, I have been praying for you. Clearly I am a sinner because my prayers have not been well received. My b.

Tyler is up next and were all on edge. Hes like I think Melanie is my match truly and this is the biggest plotline he has had all season, so hes rollin with it. Tyler ends up picking Cheyenne, and everyone breathes a sigh of relief.

Alec picks Amanda, and Kiki is like WTF (again). What is she gonna do with her bracelet?!!!!

Nelson picks Stacey and RyDev is like, And shes like, Okay, thatll work. Cant wait for an invite to the wedding.

Chuck is up next and gives an inspiring speech. Well, it would be inspiring if he wasnt talking to a band of idiots who put their fate in a coin toss and if he didnt look like a homeless folk singer.

Chuck picks Melanie. Shes like, well this sucks because well never date because hes still fucking Brittni. Maybe you can get that threesome you wanted, skank.

Kiki is last, and ends up alone, well, because her match is Mike. #tbt to Mike. LOL. She shows those bracelets to Ryan and Ryan tries so hard not to fucking vomit on her. Kiki is like I am not confident at all Mike is my match and honestly, ditto.

The beams and RyDevs dramatic hand motions begin. They get 4 beams, which they have never gotten before, so #progress..They get a 5th, then a 6th, then a 7th. Everyone is on edge as fuck, and I am stunned into complete silence at home. Even my boyfriend, who has migrated out of the room is whispering no fucking way to himself. Idk if he is saying that because hes surprised Im silent for once, or surprised that they just might actually win.

They get 8 OMG, They literally need one more to win the fucking game. Im shaking.

THEY GOT TEN BEAMS! THEY WIN THE FUCKING GAME.

MIRACLES HAPPEN (queue song from The Princess Diaries)

MTV IS THE LAND OF DREAMS

IM CRYING

IM SCREAMING, I FEEL THINGS

Okay, Im back. Wow Im hammered. So its made clear- either MTV is a magical place where miracles prevail, or this shit is staged AF. I mean, we all saw The Hills.

Wow, thats it for this season and this truly unique group of escaped mental patents. Thanks for reading, even though, lets be honest- I made your shitty Thursdays infinitely better. And to the cast who read and tweeted me, thanks for having a thick skin. Low key surprised I havent received a death threat from Britni by now. Good luck existing in the real world, you all are sure gonna need it. And if youre ever in California, come buy me a beer, because god knows I deserve one for putting up with your shit.

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from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/are-you-the-one-season-finale-recap-just-put-me-out-of-my-goddamn-misery-part-two/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/178560286887

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