#if I've learned anything throughout the years it's that 1: prejudice serves nothing and 2:

[chaoticrystal]

I’m so sorry to bother you, but you left some tags about someone telling you to go run without knowing you and your health problems. 1. Totally understand as a wheelchair user myself but 2. I feel like maybe reframing this for yourself would be more helpful, like if the person does not know you have invisible disabilities, they could just be offering advice that has helped them non-maliciously. You can just chose to note that it probably wouldn’t be good for you bc of XYZ reason they don’t know and move on. Sometimes people aren’t trying to be ableist and malicious, especially since you say you hike.

I think noting how much someone actually knows about your illness can help Re-frame the outlook on the situation. That person probably just wanted to help if they said it that way in that context ! Not everyone wants to hurt you, even if some people do!

ah thank you! In this case I think it was an ableist remark by the tone and the other contents of what they said. I appreciate this ask though! Unfortunately some people just... aren't kind about such things. They did try to argue with me after I brought up a reason I can't and I quickly shut that down. It ended up bothering me way more than it should have and is still pretty fresh in my mind as it happened only yesterday.

I'm grateful that I'm surrounded by people who do genuinely understand and do give good advice! And because my disabilities are mostly invisible, it rarely happens that people outside of my group make any comment at all about them. It's just... unfortunate when they do. Most "advice" I've been given by strangers throughout my life has been thinly veiled to just straight-up unsolicited and disparaging comments about me or my parents for "letting me be disabled" (when in reality they've only done their best over the years to help me succeed as a person despite the struggles they had too.)

Adding disabilities into the equation doesn't negate the respect and decency you deserve... It is my firm belief that everyone, despite their personal situations, should be treated with kindness, and that wasn't even afforded to me by those select few, just because I'm slightly off of what they view as acceptable. It adds insult to injury that they were trying to frame it as "being helpful" in those situations.

In the end, it doesn't matter that I do take care of myself, that I hike, or that I look physically "healthy", there are still people with pre-concieved ableist notions that are apparent when you tell them you have "health problems." People should be afforded decency no matter their problems and that decency should be reflected in what they chose to say to you. After all is said and done, those negative interactions will never be as important to me as the generous and genuine advice that I've been given by those (strangers and friends alike) who were kind to me.