#if I'm gonna be spending all that time on it I really feel I ought to be being paid

[haetero]

a little death.

PAIRING: aemond targaryen x afab!reader. WORD COUNT: 0.4k

CW: filthy smut, creampie, cowgirl position (save a dragon, ride a targaryen), unprotected sex. dirty aemond smut really. mdni <3

AUTHOR’S NOTE: a little drabble i’m reposting from an old account! hotd season two has brought back every filthy emotion i have :) like, comment + reblog if you enjoy and i’ll give u a kiss c: (divider by the ever talented @/cafekitsune)

ABSTRACT:

aemond was always sure he'd die in battle, surrounded by lesser men. but here, balls deep in your pussy, aemond understands there's nothing more fatal than the sight before him.

aemond's willing to bet you could put the street of silk's finest out of work, mesmerised by the way you rotate your hips onto his length, tits bouncing in rhythm with your perfected movements. he can't force his sapphire gaze from your cunt if he wanted to; your slick coats his dick and drips down onto his tightening balls.

his pretty lady wife, typically adorned in the riches and glory of the targaryen dynasty, weeping on his cock. he ought to light a candle to the seven, aemond thought as you fucked yourself back onto him in a daze. he was fucking you silly, or maybe you were, he didn't care to know anymore.

"fuck, fuck, aem, please," you cry, pathetically grinding onto his cock, as he leans back onto the headboard, taking you with him. chest to chest, your shaky arm comes down from its position next to your lover's face to furiously rub your clit. heat curls in your pussy as aemond slightly reangles his cock inside of you and begins to thrust back into you.

"you're making me feel so good," aemond all but moans into the crook of your neck, his callused fingers gripping your hips as you chase your release. he smells of dragonback and you, you register in some part of your brain that hasn't been fucked to absolute ruin. you feel his tongue dart out to lick up the column of your throat, the taste of your sweat causing aemond to let out a sound akin to a growl.

but it's the pressure of his teeth at the juncture of your neck that has you seeing stars, eyes rolling back as you clench around aemond's cock for the last time that night.

you fall onto his chest as aemond's pace quickens, desperate to flood your pussy with his cum, to mark you as his from the inside out. aemond grunts, bucking his hips into your abused hole. your legs quake as he heaves you up and down his cock, the overstimulation threatening to wring another orgasm out of you.

"i'm gonna fill you up," you mewl at his warning, feeling aemond's fingers grasp you tightly, your cunt clenching around aemond as he finally cums. your mixed spends seeps out of your cunt, a ring of white forming around the base of aemond's cock. planting a kiss on your forehead, aemond pulls you into him, content with watching himself drip out of you.

[rileys-battlecats]

micaclan tumblr dash simulator

☁️ the-fluffiest-puddle follow

I cannot believe the things my friends talk me into. on an unrelated note where can you hide a baby coyote

#puddletalks #seriously where did they find that thing #and WHY did they keep it??

(3 notes)

⭐️ larkstar-unofficial follow

if you catch prey and eat it before bringin anything back to the clan i'll kill you on sight <3 many such cases, unfortunately

🌠 larkstar-official follow

Laureltail I know this is you. I've told you twice now to delete this blog. Meet me in my den this evening, we're having a talk

⭐️ larkstar-unofficial follow

chat i think im going to die tonight

#remember me #never forget my sacrifice

(24 notes)

🐆 speckled-trees-and-autumn-leaves follow

people looove to ask me "oh birchspeckle tell me the future, will the clan thrive this greenleaf, will i find a mate that loves me" but then the SECOND i tell them the exact time and date of their death suddenly I'M the bad guy?? like ok sweaty you're the one that was after forbidden knowledge you don't get to be choosy about what you learn

#justmedicinecatthings #seriously they get so upset when they learn this stuff like. how do you think i feel? #i just gotta sit on this information forever? im not allowed to vent?? #this is why i never hang out in the camp smh

(1 note)

🐦‍⬛ muddy-paws follow

anybody else finding the torment relentless

(0 notes)

💊 owlpounce-official follow

This is your reminder to stretch before partaking in any strenuous activity! The best way to stay healthy and happy is to take steps to avoid being hurt in the first place. Stretching first may seem like a waste of time, but I promise it's much better to spend a few minutes stretching your legs before hunting than to spend a few days in the medicine den recovering from a pulled muscle!

#PSA #selfcare #safe practices

(15 notes)

🍐 having-a-peary-good-day follow

I don't want to name any names, but I feel like we as a clan have an issue with delegation of labor when it comes to the care of our most vulnerable members. Watching the kits is all well and good, but as the only current queen in the nursery right now, I find myself doing so much repair work for the den walls all by myself. Nominally, our apprentices ought to be doing much of this work, but quite frankly, our 'paws simply don't have the necessary experience to fix the more delicate areas, and I have ended up redoing much of their work myself. This isn't to disparage our apprentices, they've been doing their best, but I have ideas as to how we might better address these issues as a clan.

Keep reading

#genuinely I think we could be doing this so much more efficiently #like I understand that the 'paws need the learning experience #but not at the cost of our kitten's warmth and safety #you know? #and that's not even mentioning the elder's den

(7 notes)

💫 swooping-hawk-rising-star follow

fffksnkd. Ssssssksdjsj,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,h

🪷 white-tipped-tail follow

You ok, Hawkpaw?

💫 swooping-hawk-rising-star follow

COYOTE PUP ON MY KEYBOARD

#HELP

(4 notes)

🦊 foxjaw-official follow

The dawn patrol spotted bear tracks this morning just past the northeastern border, near the old hemlock tree. The tracks were old, and did not lead into Micaclan territory. Be that as it may, remember to remain on guard, and to travel in groups of 3 or more until it can be confirmed that the bear has not remained close by.

#PSA #patrol reports

(15 notes)

🏞️ gullys-tuft follow

Why is Sandleap retching into the bushes

#should i really be asking? #do i even want to know?

(2 notes)

🌸 resting-on-your-laurels follow

gonna stuff a frog inside a squirrel for my morning meal. surf and terf

🌸 resting-on-your-laurels follow

dont do this

🔥 embers-and-sparks follow

you can't tell me what to do

🔥 embers-and-sparks follow

dont do this

🏜️ pocket-sand follow

It can't be that bad!

🏜️ pocket-sand follow

dont do this

#the texture #its so bad #i dont want to waste prey but. i dont think i can swallow this #not pogchamp

(13 notes)

—————————————————————————

[not-goldy]

No because when you see how important GCF-T is for Jungkook, how he constantly brings it up including his White day live, look into the lyrics of the song

'But I can't do this alone Sometimes I just need a light If I call you on the phone Need you on the other side'

'Boy, I'm holdin' onto something Won't let go of you for nothing I'm runnin', runnin' just to keep my hands on you',

'I'll be there for you But you gotta be there for me too'

his cover of Only Then

If you start to like someone else If I get used to not being with you When that time comes, when it’s that time Whether you want it or not, I’m going to hold onto you When I get too tired that I can’t even walk When that time comes, when it’s that time Only then we can break up

Like, I understand why Jungkook was kinda salty. That's a man who was literally begging for Jimin to come to him, commenting on his post saying he misses him, doing marathons of Jimin-related content, that's a man who was spoiled by Jimin, by his love and attention. Add to that looming military service and a possibility of not seeing each other for 1.5 years (JK literally got upset when Jimin brought this theme on AYS?). Bro, I get him, I would be sulky, petty and salty, too. I'd want to spend every day, minute and second with my man, too, especially when the said man is Jimin. People need the get tf off Jk's dick.

It's not even that darling

I feel people just like to be miserable like that show is fantastic brilliant fun I was just smiling through out watching them just go and be themselves with eachother and I'm not commenting on anything at the moment because I'm waiting for all the behind scenes and interviews to peice things together to confirm my hunch about them

But one thing we learning, Jimin is not always running to save Jungkook nor is Kook always babying him. Matter fact, when asked who babies Jimin the most members thought that was Tae not Jungkook and there a reason some of us gravitated towards Vmin in the 1st place.

And its interesting watching and wondering what goes through their minds in such moments like is it the adrenaline rush the high the unjudgmental environment cos what makes Jungkook look at Jimin and go I miss him and insist on being with him all the time while Jimin literally be running away from that man sometimes.

Is he overly stimulated by Kook is that why he runs because yo me I'm looking at them as a whole picture not that they exist in these fragmented moments

And I used to say on my main how their dynamic was mostly JK being the one chasing an elusive Jimin and not the other way round.

I'm yet to dissect their conversation about not hearing from eachother blah blah blah but my assumption is if this whole trip was Jimin's way of reconnecting and giving Jungkook that us time he was pouting about that would make so much sense. But also I'm interested in the why they weren't hearing from each other or texting cos I've been said when you see Tae Kook spending a lot of time together it's almost always the case JK and JM on some bs shenanigan.

But I was hoping that wasn't the case this time and Jungkook was genuinely making efforts to connect with Tae- which I deadass feel is the case in this situation. Cos like Jungkook come on, you can't always be this predictable 🙄

Now I'm just starting to wonder, if in going solo acting solo and independent was getting out of hand for both of them. Because for me, I don't see anything wrong with Jimin focusing on his career, getting his own apartment living independently from Jungkook.

If they both want to eat their cake and have it that is what they both ought to do. If they both gonna go into MS together and sell that they are just friends 🙄

THAT IS WHAT THEY BOTH OUGHT TO DO

And I trust Jimin to handle this level of detachment well. With grace and commitment to the plan.

If Jungkook is being pouty about that- sir don't do that😩

I really hope that's not the case here and this was Jungkook going hey let's not create the impression we been doing the gay all this while cos we can't stand to be kicked out of the buddy program 🤡

Jikook has been so careful post their solos and I feel everything they've said and done post solo was so they don't end up screwing serving together.

Like Jimin mentioned, even while they are there they still gotta be careful with what they say and do. People don't understand how serious this whole MS business is for them.

We like to act like shit can't go wrong for them- they still stand to go to jail if they are ever caught.

Or may be I'm just being paranoid on their behalf. I won't lie, unless you've been persecuted for your sexuality you won't understand how serious this whole thing is.

So two things have been confirmed for me, for us:

One, that this while Jikook in MS is serious business and we were not delusional for assuming their were or have been exercising caution with everything going they do.

They don't have the luxury that someone like Tae has to be fueling gay rumors about them.

In fact if it will save them, I will personally lead the Jikook straight campaign cos sometimes being straight keeps you alive.

Two, and and I mean it is clear and there was never a doubt that this whole journey was them wanting to connect- we perhaps just didn't know why.

For me I assumed they wanted that because they were going into Military might be separated for a while but then it turns out they were actually gonna go together anyways so it didn't make sense to me that they didn't spend that time with other people such as family and friends and even the members instead.

Rather they chose to do a show just the two of them.

Now everything is making sense you know??

And Tae saying it's Jeju he couldn't let them do that without him- it wasn't even about spending quality time with his "friends" right before enlisting its more so hey that's somewhere I wanna go.

To me the dots are still not connecting

Cos Jimin, he's like we going away and we doing this for our fans- great idea except if it's for the ones we would have appreciated an 0T7 travel show or at least a majority of OT7 show right before MS. Starting with Jin who went 1st.

This is them. This show is about Jikook. It's not about anyone else but Jikook it's not about BTS vminkook tryminkook no body else but THE TWO OF THEM.

THAT MUCH IS CLEAR.

When Tae arrived they called him a guest. I know that's right. It's the Jikook show period purr purr.

[patrophthia]

just curious | theodore nott

pairing: theodore nott x reader

genre: angst, mutual pining (but they don’t get together boo 👎👎👎 me), theodore wears glasses (yes that’s it’s own genre), reader is called princess by everyone bc i didn’t want to use yn in this

wc: 2.2k

note: i wrote this in two hours while listening to super shy - new jeans (intended for it to be a cute fic) and ended up with this angsty little piece, it’s a wip i ended up abandoning but am putting it up for anyone who might like that sexy pining genre of not ending up tgt, also was gonna stay on my docs but got too emotionally attached to not post it (you better talk to me about this theo or i will cry)

Theodore is a friend of Draco. That's how you know him. Theodore Nott: the tall, cute, and quiet friend of Draco's who's eyes —when he smiles, like really smile, curves upwards in an adorable manner. Theodore who, whenever you were to hang out with Draco's friend group, keeps a closed off expression that is so hard to gauge and read that you gave up the second time you met the lad.

The door clicks open and you prepare yourself for what's to come next, taking in a deep breath as you try your hardest to play it cool. Theodore steps into Draco's living room, shopping bags in his hand as Pansy follows him from a few steps behind.

You try not to think too much of it, friends hold shopping bags for their friends all the time, it's only natural. Pansy smiles when she meets your eyes, her voice soft as she nags you on why she hasn't seen you in so long. "Draco ought to bring you around more, I know you're his friend before ours but there's no reason for him to keep you to himself like he does."

Draco scoffs at that, "it's not like I don't invite her, she just doesn't want to come to stuff."

That's not exactly true though. You do want to come to stuff —if anything you loved going to them, Draco's friends have always been very welcoming and accommodated to your every need; it's just that every time you were to spend time with them, it seems like you can't take your eyes off of one particular person (hint: it's not Draco himself).

And quite honestly, you doubted whether he even knows your name. "In my defence, work has been hectic," you deflect with a small laugh, your eyes betrays you and drift to where the real reason stood. Theodore meets your eyes straight on, and offers you a nod as if he's only noticing you now and was saying his greetings. Yeah, he definitely does not know your name. "But I'm here now so let's enjoy it."

Pansy pouts but let's up when Astoria calls for your group of friends from the kitchen, Blaise right behind her with an apron wrapped around his stature. "Well?" He cocks his head. "What are we waiting for?"

Dinner went by smoothly, mostly Blaise stuffing you with his cooking and Pansy catching up with; asking every question she could possibly think of. You didn't mind if for the most part, actually quite enjoying the attention as the group went on and on. "You're shy, aren't you?"

The question is weird, and not exactly directed at you so you turn back to your plate as you take a bite of Blaise's lasagna (Draco helped cook the noodles for this, he wants you to keep this in mind). You feel something kick mid-chew, looking up to the person sitting opposing you; only to see Theodore with his full focus on Pansy.

You turn to her as well and she laughs as she repeats her words. "You're shy, aren't you?"

"Not really?" You don't think you are, not really. You're just trying your hardest not to make it obvious that you're interested in someone at this very table who does not seem to be interested in you one bit. "At least I don't think I am."

Astoria laughs kindly, finding you cute as she says: "you've just been quiet today, you're never like this with Draco and I."

Yeah well Draco and Astoria weren't plaguing your every thought every time you were within one metres of them. "Oh." you murmur. "I guess I'm a bit tired today."

"Work?" Blaise suggests and you shake your head. "What is it then?"

"Just Boy problems," you say off-handedly, quickly regretting it when their faces turn to one of interest. "But it's nothing big, I promise."

"Are you seriously going to tell us that and not elaborate?" Draco looks offended, hell, he feels offended that you weren't elaborating. "What did that dickhead do?"

Your heart warms at the fact that your friend cares about you enough to immediately hate on whoever might be causing you boy problems but are quick to dismiss the situation. "Nothing, drop it."

From the look on their faces, it looks as if they weren't going to drop it anytime soon. Pansy opens her mouth, ready to say something when Theodore clears his throat, letting you hear his voice for the first time tonight. "Why don't you tell them about who you saw at the shops today, Pans."

Her eyes light up suddenly, going off on how she ran into her scumbag of an ex boyfriend as she was shopping for a new dress. Your eyes found Theodore's, sending him a small smile as you mentally note down on how you'd have to thank him for it later.

And when he offers you a small smile in return, his dark eyes softening —yet not enough for you to see those half moons you hold oh so dear to your heart, you try to remind yourself that he is nothing but a man doing the bare minimum.

"Stay the night," Astoria says softly, "it's late, Princess. I can't have you heading back on your own at this hour."

As much as it sounded pleasant, you can't help but feel like you might be intruding their night (even though you've spent countless night crashing at their place after a bad break up before, you guess that it's just different now that you weren't staying to cure a broken heart with a comforting shoulder —Astoria— and someone bad mouthing your ex —Draco—). "I can't," you tell them. "And trust me, I'll be fine."

Draco isn't chuffed by your answer, looking apprehensive as he thought everything over. Blaise and Pansy left for their shared apartment mere minutes ago so it wasn't like he could ensure your safety with them. But someone else was still here though, "Nott, can you take her home?"

Theodore startles from his spot by the coat rack, pausing with one arm in his coat as he looks at Draco like a deer caught in headlights. Cute. He then glances at you before hesitantly nodding.

This is bad. Oh god. Okay.

"Great," Astoria says with a smile. "Take care of our Princess, please." She then turns to look at you. "Call me when you get home safely, okay?"

At your nod, she hugs you goodbye and sends you out the door. Theodore walking slowly by your side. He's silent when he opens his car door for you and you try your best not to swoon. "Thank you."

He hums in acknowledgment as he walks over to the driver's side, Theodore does a double check to make sure you had your seatbelt on before he started the car. The ride is quiet, save from the song playing from the radio; a familiar tune you can't place a finger on.

He asks for your directions and you tell him, sneaking glances as you did so. His hair is longer than it was the last time you saw him —but to be fair, it has been months since you did; a few dark strands cover his eyes and you resist the urge to reach out and push them away. Maybe even taking out a hair clip from your purse to pin it back just so he wouldn't have to deal with it again.

It's calm and overwhelming at the same time, sitting so still and tranquil next to Theodore like this. You want to say something, you want him to say something; anything if meant you get to hear his voice again. If it meant you get a chance to memorise it and compartmentalise it in a folder that is ardently his.

"Oh thank you by the way." He looks at you for a split second before turning his focus back to the road. "For switching the topic back there."

Theodore only nods and you try not to cry. Why won't he speak? It's almost like he doesn't even want you to be interested in him.

"I really do appreciate it."

He hums this time around, a low note vibrating from his chest. It's either a nod or a hum, that's all you're ever going to get from Theodore, huh?

You bite the inside of your cheeks, looking straight at the road as you did so. Should you even attempt to make small talk? All your attempts have been futile so far so why even try. You didn't mean to huff, or at least not as loud as you did, your arms instinctively as you looked out the window absentmindedly.

This catches Theodore's attention though, prompting to finally say something. "Thinking about those boy problems again?"

You don't answer him, you don't let yourself feel the satisfaction of finally hearing him speak for the second time tonight. You don't say anything related to that topic whatsoever. "Do you have a girlfriend, Theodore?"

You can hear the hitch in his breath, see the surprise in his rapid blinks, feel the shift in the air. The car pulls to a stop at a red light, the tail lights of a car a few metres in front of you shines your faces the same shade.

He looks at you and you hope —no pray, that he doesn't notice the sparkle in your eyes as you look at him. Or maybe you do, you can't tell anymore. The only thing you can tell is that you are so incredibly into Theodore Nott, and him driving you home is not helping your case at all.

"No," he says earnestly. You don't let your eyes flicker to his lips, you don't let your eyes flicker to anything else but his eyes, trying to gauge him for something; anything, only to end up finding nothing.  "Why are you asking?"

A car honks from behind, breaking the two of you away from your trance. "Just curious."

You thank Theodore as he pulls to a stop outside your house, he —just like you would expect from Theodore Nott, only nods at your thanks. And when you bid him goodbye with one leg out of his car.

He tells you, "Goodnight, Princess."

Princess, that's what your friends called you. That's what Draco Malfoy called you at the ripe age of ten years old where the two of you would play royalty and would later be his favourite nickname for you, then further on your other friend's choice of name for you. That's what Theodore Nott calls you because he does not know your name.

"Goodnight, Theodore." You shut his car door behind you, and take a few steps to your front door before turning over your shoulder. Looking back at him at once, finding him reaching for his glasses within his glove compartment; ones with round wired frames that settle flatteringly on his high nose bridge. He shuts his glove compartment box and you turn back to your front door. And unbeknownst to you, with your back to him, Theodore turns to look at you once, and then, twice when you finally enter your house, before finally driving off and into the night.

Curiosity kills the cat, that’s what Theodore thinks as he unlocks his front door. Curiosity kills the cat, is what he reminds himself time and time again as he sheds off his jacket. Curiosity kills the cat, that’s what he knows from the start. But how could curiosity really kill the cat if it was already dying? 

If it had already yearned for something for long; a clenching thirst yet to be fulfilled, if it was already wailing to just be held, would curiosity really kill it then? 

It's weird. It's weird how —now that he thinks of it, he can't seem to recall you ever going on a date. Not a single one. While him on the other hand; yeah, he can't exactly count the amount of dates he’s gone on in the past month on one hand. 

It's not entirely his fault though, he’s trying to put himself out there; trying to find the one despite knowing that said one is constantly running around the back of his mind and was sitting in his passenger seat mere minutes ago. But he chooses to ignore it because one, it's wrong and there was no way you could ever reciprocate his feelings. And two, even if you were to reciprocate his feelings, he will never cross the line between platonic and romantic. 

He’d take the endless yearning over any potential heartbreak any day because the second he crosses the line, there's no turning back. And no amount of romantic feelings you might have for one another will make up for the years of friendship between him, you, and most importantly, Draco. The blond was your best friend before anything else, and he doubts you’d ever risk ruining your friendship for someone like him.

So, for now, he’d settled for the guilt he feels every time he sees you; he’ll hold back on his urges even though it’s clearer to him now, in this very night, than ever that you are as infatuated with him as he is with you. 

He’ll take off his glasses, he’ll place them by his bedside table, he’ll lay in his bed, cold and alone, he’ll try to fall asleep and not think of you, he’ll try and try to make it through tomorrow, make it through the date that Blaise had set up (yet again) for him that will inevitably be the worse hours of his life and think about what it be like had his date been you instead. 

— from bee: yeah i wrote this theodore with jeon wonwoo in mind so what about it?? theodore is so wonwoo coded idc idc

[beanibon]

Hey there! Can you do a vash x reader request where they get into a big argument and reader starts to cry? Like they're still mad at him but they can't stop those tears from flowing

Of course! Love some angst and I am gonna a lil cruel with this one too, so apologies in advance I live for pain.

TW: none really just a copious amount of angst with no comfort >:3

Vash never intended to make you cry, to break your heart into a million pieces in that paper thin walled motel. He just wanted you to be safe, to not put yourself in harms way. But here he was, practically towering over you as you both yelled at each other.

You had accusatory finger pressed to his chest, while Vash flung his arms around to try and get his point across. Neither party was going to give in to other, no matter how much petty insults were thrown between the two.

"Why can't you just accept my fucking help? Everytime you run off and get yourself in trouble, I'm expected to sit back and just let it happen? Fuck that!" You spat angrily, shoving Vash away from you as his face scrunched into a look of agitated disbelief.

"Because you get yourself hurt each time you interfere! What happens if you get killed one day because you can't keep to your business!" Vash countered, clearly frustrated that you weren't understanding him at all. Why didn't you see he just wanted to protect you?

An offended scoff let your lips, arms folded over your chest as you glared at him. "That will never happen! I'm not incompetent you know, I can look after myself!"

"You are incompetent! Not to mention cocky and uptight, you wield a gun like you're not absolutely horrendous with it, and don't even get me started on your flimsy excuses of why you intervene! You're not as good as you think you are and I don't need someone like you to jump to my rescue!" Vash slapped a hand over his mouth, eyes wide upon realising what had just slipped from his lips. Before he knew it, apologies spilled frantically out towards you, only to stop once he saw the tears slip down your cheeks.

Hot, anger filled tears streamed from your eyes, teeth clenched as you tried to silence your sobs. Vash moved forward, hands outstretched attempting to comfort you, only for you to shove him away. You desperately tried to wipe those tears away, angry words pouring from your lips as you continued to argue with Vash.

"I'm sorry I care about you, I'm sorry I don't want to see you get fucking hurt! It's not my fault I got stuck with an ungrateful boyfriend!" You sobbed, now the only one speaking as Vash remained silent, guilt evident having spoken to you so cruelly. So he allowed you to scream, yell and shove him even when he got too close in attempts to calm you.

Vash was so deep in his mind that he hadn't realised you'd become silent, storming past his sullen form as you slammed the door of the motel room, signalling your departure. Now alone in the suffocating room, Vash sat on the edge of the bed, head resting in his hands. He knew you've probably gone to Meryl, spending the night in her rented room while you calmed down. It wouldn't surprise him if the whole motel heard your screaming match, so Meryl comforting you at least brought some comfort, but he knew either way the morning would not be fun.

For now, Vash would let you cry it out, leaving you to catch your breath. Come morning he'd try to mend the scars he metaphorically cut into your heart, asking for forgiveness. Perhaps Vash ought to put more trust in your skills, maybe even take time out of the groups breaks to hone your shooting capabilities, just enough to have some peace of mind that you'd be safe jumping to his rescue.

But until then, he'd remain awake, thinking back on what he could've said instead of what he did. Regretting hurting your feelings.

[senka-mesecine]

Another soldier does try to get you away from Barnes, really tries to turn your head. I'd love a short on how he reacts to the audacity. And of course, what happens to you after entertaining the idea or being piqued with curiosity for the other man. Barnes' intensity could weigh heavy... Xoxo

-

So, basically...what Barnes would do if he was jealous?

Because, hoo boy.

― First of all, it's really funny (and downright frightening) how you'd never be able to tell. In fact, nobody's able to tell. Even those who spend most time with him or around him. He sees what he's jealous of, he assesses it, places what he's assessed somewhere in the back of his mind and it stays there, hidden behind the eyes and a thousand mile stare. Churning, churning, churning in the machine of his mind. Outwardly, he almost comes off stoically detached or too disinterested to care about whatever it was, but the exact opposite is true. He noticed everything, downright to the most miniscule of details. Those eyes of his miss nothing. It's just that someone like Barnes might think his own private thoughts are his own private thoughts most days, and unless he personally decides it and when he decides it (which is usually never) he isn't gonna be here acting like some simple ass motherfucker leaking his heart out all over the place. Nope. He keeps his jealousies right where nobody can see them. That's the way these things should go, he might think. That's the way things ought to be.

― But, thing is, even though he's seemingly cold, seeing you do or say something that causes him jealousy or someone else doing something in relation to you that brings about the same effect is so sickening literal death is more pleasant. To someone like Barnes? Yeah, death is more pleasant. Death's second nature, actually. He's personally sought out death countless times and looked it right in the eye and it's nothing compared to this. This just makes him see red and hear white noise, honest to god leaving me think that if someone can trigger a trauma response in themselves just off of seeing someone they love cause them jealousy, weather or not this person's aware of it and what they're doing to their loved one. Barnes would be such a man. You have to understand his first instinct is to kill. The idea someone could take you away? That you might just want them to? Hey, you don't even have to seriously consider it. Maybe it was playful; a joke blown out of proportion or a common courtesy Barnes just. didn't. like. Regardless, might as well point a rifle at him and he'd just about tell you to shoot.

― But, that other person? The root and causer of the jealousy? They don't even realize something real bad's gonna happen to them because Barnes has that way, as mentioned above, of being entirely poker faced right before he cuts you off, say, somewhere where you're all alone and just murders you in cold blood while looking straight at you. Doesn't at all mind doing it in front of witnesses either, which is a teller just how frightening his anger really is. How overpowering, when in the moment he's conducting this violence he's not thinking about the punishment that might come later; he's just thinking about the other person's death. If it gets far enough, yes, Barnes would definitely kill the person causing him jealousy. It's a casual Wednesday for him, really. As easy as walking out into the woods, intercepting someone somewhere, showing up in their space, taunting them enough or provoking them. Maybe it's blunt and as open as him more or less nonchalantly saying 'I'm here to kill you so you either do sum' 'bout that or die.' Problem? Gone. Barnes is an effective killer and that's that on that.

― Doesn't matter if it's a fellow soldier or a civilian, although I can see Barnes admittedly being more offended if it's a civilian and not another serviceman. It feels as banal as slaughtering a chicken on a farm to him. A soldier? Might just be more covert with that one, tactically speaking; see it more like eliminating an actual foe rather than hunting small game with a tank and as a results, he gets more immersed. Dignifies the hunt with more, well, dignity, if it can even be called that. Accidents happen in war and this person who's been throwing eyes at you could just befall a horrible accident that's actually of Barnes' making, reaching a fatal outcome. Of course, Barnes can come out of the incident entirely blameless and your beau-to-be's dead, so how's that? If he's feeling particularly sadistic, and he often does, might just take some sort of memento or trophy out of the lump of shit's carcass because he's won that right. Might just, in equal measure, present it to you when the time's right. It's a little like a hound dragging the corpse of a mangled rabbit in front of someone's feet. Barnes is making a statement here.

― The main cause why Barnes is going to these extremes is because, in general, he's extreme. But, also? Because he noticed you actually responding to whoever was hitting on you and that shit's like a burning shrapnel to the gut; if your approach to these whole flirting thing was cold or neutral, even politely so, he'd might get into a fight over it at worst. At best? He'd just intimidate the asshole away from you by his mere existence. You being piqued, though? You're entertained? Alright, entertain this --- you just had a man killed. You caused this. Did this to this sad sack of shit long before Barnes ever pulled out a knife to actually execute the target; he might just do it in front of you so the notion has the time to settle in. Barnes won't gloat. Won't really rub it in. But, the action speaks for itself. He's trying to relay that he's not a man to be trifled with. Could just give you a long, lingering glare after it's done so you'd understand. Ma'am, meet the consequences of your own actions. He doesn't quite look like himself when he's in a state like this. Even during most normal days Barnes is a frightening SOB, but now he just about looks downright primal.

― So, what happens to you, you might ask? Strangely anticlimactic conclusion is that Barnes might just go about his day and calm down. Diffuse himself. Yep. You live the same as you always did. He's killed, yeah, so what? He's going to have a smoke and a drink about it. You imagine this is his first rodeo? He's killed before. If provoked or if he felt it necessary, he would again. And if you think this is some landmark event that'll change everything between you and him and pose irreconcilable differences, you're wrong, because for Barnes, it changes nothing. It's a fact of life; two men fight and one dies because the tougher one did him in. 'Cept, he's the tougher one. Now, more than ever, you're his. Wanna know why? Because he's killed for you. How many people can say that? If this was some great, big battle to see who gets you, he's stepped out victorious and someone like him might think that he has a right to you more than ever before. Nothing of note happens to you as a result; you just get to stew in the firm fact of what the ultimately result of making him jealous is forever. His jealousy is a cold, deadly like that just erupts out of nowhere like that.

― There's something...weirdly unhinged and downright hardhearted about the fact that he just continues life as usually with you --- like this whole bloodshed spree was just another fact of reality to him; he eats with you, drinks with you, comes to bed with you, fucks you, his love and passion, however messed up and just about as dark as a lump of coal, remains unchanged too --- sole difference being he has one extra kill notch, as they say, tucked under his belt. That's Barnes and jealousy for you. He gets even.

[weather-cluddy]

Man, today's question really reminded of how little interest Shidou seems to have in Amane as a person. He says he's frustrated that he doesn't have the time to "do something" about her, but even when she approached him, he didn't even try to reason with her or comfort her.

She tries to warn him that he's committing an unforgivable sin that will damn everybody, he's just like "Now, what could you be talking abooout? Anyways, just stop worrying about it and help me, okay?". And when she insists, his reply is "Ok, wow, you're so spoiled. Your parents must've been real soft on you until now, but that's not gonna fly with me, alright? I'm a responsible adult, I'm going to ignore you no matter how much of a brat you are"

He just dismissed Amane's very obvious mental breakdown as a mere temper tantrum, presuming that Amane doesn't truly care about anything she's espousing and that she's just trying to test boundaries. May I also point out how Shidou makes zero mention of Amane in his voice drama, either as a threat or as somebody who, like Fuuta and Mahiru, is in a precarious mental state?

And that casts a really different light on what "having the other adults deal with Amane" is supposed to mean. Is it really about making her more able to cope with the situation? Or just getting her out of the way? If it's about helping her, why does it matter so much that the adults do it?

Say, Muu and Haruka are in the best physical and mental shape out of everybody, and they have plenty of free time. Since Haruka says they're "sticking close" to Shidou, why doesn't he take a moment to suggest they should try to spend a little time with her, make her feel a bit better? Even if they can't convince her to change her mind, it'd at least useful to know in more detail what she's planning, right? After all, Shidou is willing to put his utmost ideal (dying to atone for his sins) on hold for the sake of the injured prisoners. Surely he must be very concerned about anything that could threaten their care, right?

Even if you take is as meaning "Well, the adults have the duty to care for the younger ones, so everyone under eighteen is exempt for responsibility", it's kind of really weird to put all the responsibility on three people having their own mental and physical breakdowns (Mahiru, Mikoto and Fuuta), one guy who said re:Amane that "we can't worry about that now" and "We'll just wait until the situation changes" last time Shidou spoke to him, and who's carrying the weight of being the only line of defense against Kotoko (Kazui) and one woman who's already taking mental care of Mahiru and also doesn't seem to want to have anything to do with anyone else (Yuno). Does a few years of age really give you that much more capability, such that it outweighs everything else going on?

So the fact that Shidou takes the trouble of specifying that an adult ought to help Amane really sounds like he's, at best, blinded by ideology. Only adults can help Amane because only adults are capable of taking meaningful action on anything, and only they have real ideological commitments that can beat a child's silly whims. At worst, Shidou is annoyed that Amane is threatening his worldview of "adults act, children obey", so he wants somebody to step in and bring her back into line. Of course, that person has to be an adult if they're to truly reinforce his perspective instead of opening a different kind of hole into it.

And this is hardly the first time he dismisses a child's thoughts on the basis of their age. In Molech, when Es tells him to treat them with respect as the warden, Shidou's answer is essentially "But we DO have a big age difference, so everything else is irrelevant. Let me pat your head to show how much I pity you, total stranger who's already annoyed at me for being condescending". At this point, either Shidou is being deliberately obnoxious or he's so thoroughly drunk his own kool-aid that it doesn't even register on the shallowest level when a kid tells him not to do something. Kids just go agoo-goo until they hit eighteen, yeah? No need to listen to their babbling.

And it's not just Shidou treating Es as both warden and child, he doesn't seem to have any respect for their ability to form their own opinion as a warden either. He literally goes "Hey, why go through the trouble of actually looking at evidence? Just take me at my word, way easier and faster". Even though by this point it's also obvious how much pride Es takes on being the guard and carrying out Milgram's mission, and that they don't necessarily trust Shidou. Again, either mockery or a frightful failure of basic pattern-recognition when the pattern doesn't match what Shidou expects from a child.

And to tie this back to Shidou's "my heart goes out to you" comment, sure, he's so concerned about any mental toll being the warden might take on Es… But he's still insisting on being murdered by them. Why? Surely Shidou of all people would know that murder can be hard on the killer. And if he wanted to die so badly, surely he can wait until Milgram is over and kill himself then, right? No need to make it Es' responsibility.

One of his last lines in the VD is "I feel sorry that you had to be given this role. And, I truly apologise for being so insistent about sentencing me to death as well… But, you’re perfect. You’ll give me the ending I’m most suited for." So apparently the thing is that being murdered by a child, specifically, would be very satisfying to Shidou, and Es' pain is secondary to that.

Kinda undermines all that talk about how tragic the situation is, doesn't it? In one of the app conversations, we see him being overwhelmed by sadness while grading Amane's homework, and he says "If everything about MILGRAM is true… why did a child like you have to become a murderer? Just imagining what sort of circumstances must have led to that, it makes me so sad…". But apparently his sadness isn't so strong that it'll stop him from setting up that sort of circumstances.

The only way this makes sense to me if it's he's subsumed Es' choices into his own so utterly that he can't imagine anybody, not even Es, could possibly hold them responsible if they did kill Shidou. It was simply suicide with Es acting as a tool for it, no more guilty than a bullet. I'm sure you can see how utterly dismissive this is of Es' autonomy.

TL;DR: I'm sure Shidou loves the idea of children, but so far he's been severely lacking in empathy for actual children when they deviate from his concept of how they ought to be or when their wellbeing comes in conflict with his ideals.

[bropunzeling]

matthew/leon: 1 and 12 brady/quinn: 7 and 20

all under the cut! also i treated them as combos because that was more fun

(things you said at 1 am) + (things you said when you thought i was asleep)

It's a risk spending the night at the hotel when Matthew's entire family is back at his house. Matthew knew that when he looked for Leon across the bar they all ended up at after the skills comp; he knew that when he downed a shot and a beer for plausible deniability; he knew that when Leon hooked his fingers in Matthew's beltloops and leered, sweaty and red-faced and still too sober to really get away with it. He knew that when he waved Johnny off to slip out to the street; he knew that sliding into the Uber where Leon was already waiting; he knew that when Leon shoved him up against the hotel door and bit his lip until Matthew let him in.

Knows that now, phone lighting up with unread messages on the nightstand, glowing against the wood.

He ought to get up. It's a busy weekend. Big day tomorrow. And if he slips away now, he'll avoid the walk of shame in the morning, the pointed questions from Brady and pointed lack of questions from his mom.

But Leon's hot against his side, arm heavy across his torso, breath warm and damp against the skin of Matthew's shoulder. Matthew can feel the steady inhales and exhales that he knows means Leon's asleep, or just about. He wouldn't want to disturb him.

And, of course, there's the part where Matthew doesn't actually want to slip away from Leon. Has never wanted to, not really. Even when he left last summer, trading out salted roads and frozen hands for sand under his feet and the sun on his face, he told Leon exactly where he was going. Hoped that if he did, this thing wouldn't break apart between them.

So far, it hasn't. That has to mean something.

"Fuck, you're heavy," Matthew says softly into Leon's hair.

Leon doesn't say anything back. His mouth is wet against the skin of Matthew's throat.

"And drooling," Matthew adds. If Leon were awake, he'd be offended, and they'd have a little argument, half flirtation and half annoying each other. Right now, though, he can just state a fact.

Nothing. Just Leon's breathing, slow and even, and the occasional buzz of Matthew's phone against wood.

Matthew rubs his hand up and down Leon's spine, feeling the bump of vertebrae under his fingers. Traces the moles on Leon's back, drawing constellations. "I wish we had more time," he admits to Leon's sweaty hair.

An inhale, an exhale. The glow from under the edge of Matthew's phone, bright in the dark.

-

(things you said while we were driving) + (things you said that i wasn't meant to hear)

During the drive to the lake house, Brady stretches out in the passenger seat, shoving it as far back as it will go and slouching down until his knees hit the glove box. He's jetlagged from the flights; Matthew told him he was pushing it to go from two weeks with family in Europe straight into two weeks in Michigan with Quinn, and Brady told him he was a bossy know-it-all.

Brady is pretty dead on his feet, though, so maybe Matthew does know a thing or two.

It's easy to drift off, closing his eyes as Quinn drives. Quinn's a good driver, not distracted like Jack or aggressive like Taryn or just plain bad like Matthew. He has a playlist going, some soft, quiet indie shit that certainly wasn't one of Brady's recommendations, but it's nice enough. Soothing.

A few minutes in, Brady realizes Quinn's singing along under his breath. No, not singing, not even in that tuneless way Quinn has. Talking quietly. "Yeah. Yeah, we're on our way."

Brady slits open his eyes. From the angle, he can see the curve of Quinn's jaw, the rumpled mess of his hair, the threadbare collar of his t-shirt. There's a hole near the shoulder seam, and Brady wants to stick his finger in the hole, touch the skin beneath.

"Yeah," Quinn's saying now. "I picked some up earlier." A pause. "Seriously? Well, I'm not gonna stop for more. Brady's wiped, man. He's already asleep."

Over the speaker, Jack's voice is crackling and mumbling, hard to decipher. Quinn's is clear, though. "Come on, Jacky. Let me get Brady home first."

More talking. The car is pulling up to a stop. At something Jack says, Quinn's gaze flicks over to Brady, then away. "No," he says. "I want this to be a good trip for him."

Jack replies, then cackles. Quinn's ears turn red. "Fuck off. You know he doesn't -- it's not like that."

The car starts to move again. The acceleration has Brady closing his eyes, or maybe it's the afternoon sun, warm through the windshield. The last thing he hears is Quinn's voice, quiet. "Yeah. See you soon."

[the-kr8tor]

Damn now I will forever be known as the Deep Sea Hobie Man lover (GOOD).

Well alright here's some fun facts for a Mermaid R! X Deep Sea witch Hobie (I just woke up at 3:43 pm god save me)

-I've said it before but DSW Hobie in my head wears very flowy black fabrics which almost float around because of the movement of the water. He's a bit less decorated than the reader, but he does have silver embellishments in his hair, maybe a necklace R has made him (totally not a black pearl one so they can match), and his piercings (he saw some people on the above had them and was like damn that slaps I'm gonna copy your Homework). His hair is difficult to think about because I can either imagine it as how he had it in the movie or as very long braids that fall beautifully on his back. The collar of his shirt is like a triangle so skin always peeks out a bit (lucky reader huh)

-DSW Hobie can actually climb on anything. And grab anything. You have woken up multiple times to little circles on your skin because he was cuddling you too tight in his cave(not that you mind plus they look funny)

-DSW Hobie making sure the Mermaid Reader is taking care of their scales, they're so pretty to him. At the same time you're pretty all over, he would spend a lot of time having you sit on his lap as he smooths them out or puts ointment that he made for you on them.

-DSW Hobie who sees way better I'm the dark than the reader, the poor mermaid sometimes slamming themselves on a wall by accident (he'll snicker but come out to help you)

-DSW Hobie who...hasn't been taking as many clients. He's busy, busy with you. Busy with loving you, which is the best type of busy there is (at least he really seems to believe so). And he doesn't want you to see what he can truly do, he doesn't want to shatter your view on him. You're rare, maybe not fragile but what would he do if the only person who's cared for him in the past years leaves too?

-DSW Hobie who creates small shadows for you whenever you're feeling bad, he'll make them tell a story or whatever he can do to see you smiling again.

-DSW which I see as a bit more angry than some of the other Hobie's; his own home is being drowned out by the trash the above sends down. His beloved is constantly heckled by the underwater society because he doesn't have the reputation he ought to have. The sea is cruel, he knows this. He'll be forsaken if he doesn't double his efforts to ensure you're safe

-DSW Hobie who when you start flirting back is fully taken back and stares at you wide eyed, losing his cool as he comes to gently and tenderly wrap you into a hug and pepper your face with sweet kisses.

-If he's ever upset he truly just hides into a corner, covering his face with his tentacles and you'll have to lure him back out with the promise of cuddles and soft words (maybe food too)

-DSW Hobie WHO CAN EAT so MUCH. You genuinely wonder how about up to a point where he explains his magic can easily drain him.

-🪦 insanity, the voices, I have so many assignments due. I HAVE GERMAN DUE <\3 why must I do an oral

The lil suction cups that leave a mark bc he's been cuddling you too long 🥹🥹🥹😭😭😭😭😭😭

R taking care of his tentacles bc they get tired too 😔 and Hobie taking care of their scales whenever they shed (do mermaids shed? 🤷‍♀��)

You wrote this at 3 am???? All I write at 3am are 'her feetsteps' and so much misspellings 🤣🤣🤣 the voices drove you to write this lol 😆 Go study!! Good luck on your exam!

[louwhose]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks for the tag @cooking-with-hailstones!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

uh. 57. not at all prolific.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

234,707

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mostly for Breath of the Wild or Ocarina of Time in the Legend of Zelda, though I've done a couple for different games. Other than that Dwight in Shining Armor, that one random cosmere one, Spy X Family, and Miraculous.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Semblance of a Sentiment

Fall Under Your Spell

One Little Scare Ought To Do You Some Good

HERO x FAMILY

Link's Lawn Mowing Service

deliberately ignoring the sxf ones because I'm not that into the fandom anymore and it's so much more popular that I feel that skews things

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I used to. I should start again. I'm just... lazy.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Ooh. Oh. Oh, uh that's actually a tought one. Well, if I had to say angstiest it would have to be Even Though You're Not Here. Though there are definitely a couple other contenders.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hard to say. I have plenty, but my favorite ones tend to be at least bittersweet, but let's go with... Reading Between the Lines (../.-../---/...-/./-.--/---/..-)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

The closest is once (for my tiny fandom actually) I got a comment that was like "I didn't like this." So I just deleted the comment.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

No

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I do not. The closest I come is putting characters in a different universe that I love.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I did one with @linktheacehero! And I like to rp, so I could theoretically have more in the future... if one ever gets finished, that is.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Zelink. Without a doubt. They just claimed the brainrot about a year and eight months ago and haven't relinquished it yet and I kinda doubt they're gonna.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

A botw au where it starts in a hyrule equivalent to the 1920s. The first chapter is one of the first things I wrote, but I am no longer satisfied with it but some simple edits aren't enough to fix my issues with it so I don't know what to do with it at the moment. I'd ideally love to fix it or restart it or something so that I can get to the parts I want to but I'm just not sure what is going to become of it.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Um... horrible at analyzing my own writing, but I really like the way I am able to do prose sometimes.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Complex stories? Maintaining momentum for a multichapter fic? The biggest thing I feel is doing any sort of action, because I like to spend too much time either in a character's head or in the dialogue.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Cool if you can do it. I can't.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Miraculous Ladybug. Sometimes I miss the fandom, but it's just not the same anymore.

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

It's gotta be When Things Cease to Flow. Probably weird for most people since it's second person POV but I love it because it just works so well for me. Probably the fic I've written I've reread the most.

No pressure but tagging (and sorry if you've already been tagged) @linktheacehero @angelicgarnet @whogirl2011 @deiliamedlini and um. er. whoever else wants to.

[quietmarie]

What am I working on right now?

I realise I haven't really listed what I am doing and have been doing in terms of projects on Tumblr so far, so in case you're curious what I'm doing, here you go. With images and all this is gonna be quite lengthy, so have a look under the cut:

First of all, Job and Uni:

At the start of the month, the new uni semester begun, and I also got a job in programming! Uni courses are pretty chill this year, and I'm at the job two days a week. It's really nice so far, and it involves developing algorithms used for CAM and CNC-machines.

As a uni project I did..

A physics engine for Godot:

Godot is a game engine. As part of an uni course, two fellow students and I wrote the mathsy bulk of a physics engine for it. This includes stuff like collision handling and various joints (like hinge joints you'd use for a physics-based door etc.), but because of time constraints doesn't include collision detection, which is handled by Bullet. Outside of the planned curriculum, I also derived the equations for and implemented rope joints, which simulate, well, ropes.

And currently, outside of uni, I still want to work on the engine by implementing..

Portals:

Yea I want to implement portals using the custom physics engine we built. But not just portals as Valve did them, that would be too easy. I want them to be able to move and interact with other objects while remaining physically accurate (or, as physically accurate as they can be considering they're portals). The current state of things:

The dream is to be able to build gorgeous architecture, like, I'm thinking buildings resting on top of pillars that are always moving. If I can get this to work I really ought to discuss the vision with some artists and creative folk in general, because I feel like there's so much unexplored creativity in art with portals. But yeah, there's still a lot of very intimidating maths/physics until I get there.

As for other private/free-time projects..

SSBToni:

SSBToni is probably my most ambitious project yet. Toni is a Discord bot for the competitive Super Smash Bros. community (currently in 1.9k servers wowee). Her main selling point is the ability to show frame data and hitbox gifs, but she can also do some other stuff like guide you through a full match of Smash Bros. according to a range of competitive rulesets, from rock-paper-scissors through stage bans all the way to game reporting. She's written in Java with JDA, and her code is hosted here.

I want to do ranked matchmaking and Smash profile images later on, so I have to do some web backend work. The bulk of that is private still, but some of that spun off into separate projects which are..

instant-glicko-2:

The Glicko-2 rating system is great, but it has some issues if you want to use it for real-time ratings/rankings. This Rust library aims to solve these issues to allow for good real-time rankings that are still accurate to the Glicko-2 system. I wrote about how I achieve that here, and the code is hosted here. Note that I do want to change some stuff still which I don't mention in the article I wrote, and in the current form it is probably not production-ready.

cache-compute:

In all honesty, maybe my proudest public thing yet, and it's a single-file ~500 line Rust crate. Based on this blogpost by fasterthanlime, the library makes caching for async stuff much easier, which is gonna be extremely useful in web backend stuff. If a resource isn't available locally (cached), you might have to spend some time making a request to get it from elsewhere to cache it. This library makes sure you only make that request once when you need it, and sorts everything out so that everyone waiting on the resource gets a copy the moment it arrives.

Part of why I'm so proud of this is that, for one, I consider the core finished and very much usable, and secondly, because I wrote so many and such long and exhaustive tests for it, just to hopefully be able to catch any weirdness that comes up. Because writing this kind of concurrent code is hard.

And that's it for projects I would want to show off and write about.

There are of course always ideas in my idea list (currently four or five good ones I'm not working on), maybe I'll post about those too sometime. If you're curious or starved for ideas feel free to ask about them too, I don't think I'll be able to do all of them and the list is only growing larger.

[adultswim2021]

Moral Orel #33: “Innocence” | October 17, 2008 - 12:15AM | S03E03

Season three’s objective is to unpack the events of Nature as well as Clay’s abusive nature. This strips Orel of his Innocence. Hey, that’s the name of this episode. 

Was never that big on this one, as it feels like it’s half comedy show/half math problem. A little more interested in answering the question of what the heck was going on at the end of Grounded than it is in being very funny.

Embarrassingly, this lead me to spending most of the time I allocated towards writing this write-up to me sussing out a roughly story-chronological order for the episodes of Moral Orel. As far as I can tell, nobody has really done a scene-by-scene breakdown timeline kinda thing. I didn’t do that. I just listed the episodes and shuffled the order so they’d be less scrambled. It won’t be part of this write-up, because I only like doing things that are a waste of time, and including it would make it technically not. 

Okay, so this episode takes place immediately after the School Pageant, which they say was “4 weeks and 1 day ago”. The main, most useful takeaway that I realized here was that the accepted running order of the show is mostly represented on HBOMax, but I think Orel’s Movie Premiere ought to trade places with School Pageant. Apparently they were supposed to air that way but didn’t. School Pageant is the last season two episode to take place before Nature, and some of season three is set in between. Nature parts one and two weigh heaviest on this season, but School Pageant is a pretty close second.

In this one, the adults have a meeting without Orel, after Reverend Putty has the apocalyptic realization that god is mad at Moralton, in part because of the “God I Hate You Jesus” song featured in said School Pageant. There were also the many catastrophes that were brought on by Orel, perhaps acting as a tool of God’s. The parents vow to delay their smiting by not giving Orel anymore advice. Orel, champing at the bit for adultlike sageness, gets pushed from adult to adult, who offer little nuggets here and there after being browbeat by a wisdom-hungry Orel. This causes him to cobble together one of his more disgusting outings (as seen at the beginning of Grounded), which actually did air before this, but I covered it when it aired as part of the April Fools’ stealth premieres. 

I get why airing Grounded, a heavier episode that dives a little further into Clay’s abusiveness, after Nature despite it taking place afterwards makes sense. This makes less sense, but it’s ultimately a playful exercise that I’m not terribly mad at. The disastrous moment in time when all of Moralton tried to stop giving Orel advice and failed to thwart a terrible misunderstanding from happening anyway is a decent idea. I just think it gets to a point where it’s just spinning it’s wheels and is just marching adequately towards its conclusion which we already saw. 

There is a little bit of foreshadowing for Orel’s teacher, who is seen cutting out a news clipping about a rapist. This is touched on in the upcoming “Alone”, and was meant to pay off in an episode called “Raped”, an unproduced episode that had it’s script leaked. Also worth noting: Jay Johnston is not in this episode, but his characters are, voiced by different people. Scott Adsit voices Coach Stopframe, and David Herman voices Principal Flakey. This is maybe the biggest bummer of the season. I didn’t look that hard, so I did not find a source for this, but I was always under the impression that Jay Johnston similarly didn’t like the direction the show was going in and blew off recording for it. Perhaps he was busy planning a fateful trip to our nation’s capital. Heh, that would be cool :D 

44 NIGHTS OF OREL

I'm gonna keep using this picture. It is just too nice not to. These episodes aired before tonight’s episode:

Grounded (official premiere; originally aired stealthily as part of an April Fools stunt)

Loyalty (literally just for the “omelet facemask” joke which is called back in School Pageant)

School Pageant (takes place before Innocence). Innocence (This one!)

[mandysxmuses]

Compare and Contrast:

Coda + Jemand

Todd + Nero

//OH MAN THIS OUGHT TO BE FUN

CODA AND JEMAND

ok so first things first Coda and Jemand are basically as polar opposite as two people can be, I think. Coda's immensely introverted to the point of barely being able to socially interact with others, while Jemand is incredibly extroverted and charming and loves talking to people, mostly because it helps distract from thinking a little too much for his own comfort about himself.

Coda dresses in trench coats and long, baggy clothing, usually unwashed, and his house looks like a hurricane went through it. He has tendencies to just let things sit and do whatever is easiest, and a lot of the time that means throwing on something he's already worn rather than just doing the laundry. His eating habits are absolutely awful because he'd rather just eat chips than do the building pile of dishes.

Jemand, meanwhile, goes the extreme opposite direction and is extremely meticulous about how he looks. He pampers himself regularly, puts on makeup to doll himself up, and wears lavish clothes. He can't stand messes, though I will admit he has a similar situation to Coda going on where he does not have the energy to physically clean them -- it's just that he won the luck of the draw with superpowers and can literally dismiss messes with a wave of his hand.

He kind of handshakes with Coda on the bad eating habits, but for different reasons. Jemand eats like that solely as a coping mechanism. When he's upset, he eats junk. Otherwise, he once again spoils himself with the sort of foods people would normally have to spend hundreds or even thousands to eat.

I think one of the things they do have in common is sleeping a lot as a coping mechanism, like, if Jemand isn't up eating ice cream he's sleeping, there's nothing else

And if I really stretched it I could say they have the familial issues in common, except Coda's more a victim in his case, since if we look at Jemand's sort of if you squint father-son relation, Jemand's definitely the abuser, so even in that respect they differ

TODDIE AND NEROWO

these two have a lot more in common than the above, but they also differ in so many respects, too

Like already on moral grounds they're on two different sides, Todd's a serial killer who slaughters innocents for fun and Nero's a heroic character who, while having fun whooping all the ass he does, in the end is still doing it with the express purpose of helping protect others. Sometimes in Nero's case (especially in DMC 5) there's more of a revenge motive going, but in the end he's still trying to help out

They both yell and raise their voice a lot. That's a thing. They handshake on the "AAAAAAAAAAA"

They also handshake on not being able to keep their mouths shut for the life of them. Both Todd and Nero have a terminal case of talking shit, it's just that in Todd's case some of the time he can't back it up and Nero, most of the time, can

Todd talks shit more as a "this is the only power I have in this situation and goddamn it's going to kill me to use it but whatever" thing

meanwhile Nero's just like "I have so much power in this situation I'm gonna fucking play air guitar while you're picking yourself up and spitting blood"

I think they have similar taste in music, too? One of the first things you see Nero doing is blasting loud metal music into his ears in the middle of a church and if that is not a Todd handshake I don't know what is

... even though Nero would never handshake Todd, even without the lack of showering he'd feel gross

they also both handshake on being into curvy women, I'm sorry to make that comparison but it's there, I have to

The way they carry themselves is different. Nero's got a lot more confidence in his stride and the clothes he wears are (USUALLY) really fancy

Todd literally just throws on whatever and skulks around

I think one thing they do have in common is their capacity for forgiveness mdklsd Todd's still buddies with Jemand after literally everything those two have done to each other and it's always been really hard to split them up, and Nero does end up sparing Vergil and trying to end his rivalry with Dante despite all the things that he did

I'm sure there is more I could go into, but this is turning into a novel so I'm gonna just leave it there

[marley-manson]

💌 💞 💫 for the fic ask!

Thank you <333

💞what’s the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language

Definitely characters. I write because I want to explore things about my faves and spend some time in their heads. Plotting feels like a necessary evil lol, because I'm not into writing abstract character studies, I want the characters to do stuff. But god it's easily the worst part for me. Figurative language is up there too though, it's fun to come up with a good metaphorical description. I also want to add theme because I can't write without it, if I have no thematic statement I have no idea what I'm writing towards.

💫what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

Your comments are definitely some of my favourites frankly lmao 💖 But generally I love to hear what people get out of my stories, intellectually and/or emotionally. Like what they enjoyed about it, how it made them feel, what choices made them go 'yesss,' etc.

And I know these are writing asks but I also want to add for vids specifically: I loooove when people point out specific editing choices/techniques they liked. Like I had one youtube comment on a Berserk vid point out a series of blood drops I timed to a drum rhythm by cutting out a few frames here and there and I was just like 🥺thank you so much for noticing🥺

Of course I love and greatly appreciate any and all positive feedback always, but yeah if I'm getting specific then these types of comments make me really flail.

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

lol this one was hard to answer bc I'm kind of in a slump right now in terms of my wips. But I'm at 50 pages (!!!!) and getting close to the end of Army Style which is def exciting, and I thiiink I've come up with the climax and essential thematic point of the story, if I can pull it off. Basically focusing on Potter as the good cop to the rest of the army's bad cop, and how that's what clinches Hawkeye's negative character shift, even moreso than the threats.

Here have an excerpt:

Sherm watched him go, hoping this wasn't gonna be the last he'd see of the life of the not-quite party that was the four oh double seven.

"Well," he said, "you have your assignments. It's time for me to make some phone calls." He slapped his knees perfunctorily and stood up. The other two followed suit and they went their separate ways.

He started with Sidney. A signed statement from him could take a day or two to reach Seoul, so the sooner he sent it the better - would've been best three days earlier when he’d asked if it might be necessary, but he supposed he couldn't blame Hawkeye for not wanting to admit that his name could be out there, considering what he was going through now. As much as he considered Hawkeye a friend, he was still his commander first and foremost, and that was the way it ought to be.

Once Radar got through he picked up the phone at his desk. 

“Always a pleasure, Sherm,” said the voice on the other end, “assuming you’re calling to schedule the next poker night.”

“‘Fraid not, Sidney. I need your professional advice. Our favorite captain’s gotten himself into trouble.”

“When’s it due?” 

He rubbed the bridge of his nose wearily. Lord save him from comedians. “Very funny,” he said, in a tone that he hoped conveyed exactly how much he was laughing. 

“All right, what’s the trouble?” Sidney conceded.

“Hawkeye’s just been hauled off to Seoul H.Q. to be investigated for degeneracy.”

“Ah,” came Sidney’s less-than-fruitful response. 

He filled him in on the details. “So what do you think? I was hoping you’d be willing to sign a statement on his behalf, but is there anything you can do besides?”

“Oh sure, I’ll write a letter.” The words came slow and steady, like Sidney was considering everything he said carefully. “I know a few of my colleagues down there so I can make a call too. Not sure how much good it’ll do if someone named him.”

“Near as I can tell it was a name once-removed, if that’s any help. A… friend of a friend of Hawkeye’s put his name on a list. Hawk’s swearing up and down that the kid was just handing over any name he’d ever heard the guy mention.”

“Do you believe him?” 

“I don’t think that matters, now, does it?” 

“If you say it doesn’t, then it doesn’t.” A sigh crackled across the line. “You know, if this was the old days, I’d just fly down there myself and do the paperwork to clear him. Now that could cost me my job.”

Sherm scowled into the middle distance. Maybe he shouldn’t blame Hawkeye; maybe his optimism had just been a decade out of date. He’d known the higher ups were stepping up the blues the last few years, but that was usually how it went in peacetime. He’d figured they’d cut it out while the war was on. But if even Sidney thought he might lose Hawkeye for good… “Is it really that bad?” he asked.

“It’s not good. But in Hawkeye’s case it’s hard to say. If he was a private it’d be over already, but a surgeon… especially one with his record - he’s got a good chance. It really just depends on who’s making the decision. But I’ll make a call or two and see what I can do to help from here. And I’ll send that statement tonight.” 

“Thanks, Sid. I owe you one.” 

“I’ll collect it in chips next time I come by the Swamp.” 

Sidney hung up, and Sherm kept the receiver up to his ear. Sure enough, there was still faint breathing on the other end. “Radar, get me General Imbrie,” he said, relishing the surprised yelp. It was time to start making a fuss until he got his chief surgeon back.

[sadistic-softie]

I was raised by insects.

When I was born up until the divorce, I didn't spend as much time with my parents as I probably ought to. My dad was often drunk and my mom was always away at work, and when together, they argued and fought often. I played with bugs, drank soda, chewed on myself, and ate candy as I fell hungry being unable to cook for myself. I spent most of my time crouched and digging in the dirt. Plucking up grubs and worms, shaking off ants. Watching spiders and millipedes crawl away, in awe of their many legs. Stroking gently upon the backs of soft, dark caterpillars. Worms were my favorite to catch. Slimy, squirming dirt eaters with no legs at all. I often kept them and they often died. Many friends of mine enjoyed splitting them in half to watch both parted sides wiggle. I hated it because I loved worms and I never did it myself, but I also didn't always stop them. Sometimes I liked to watch too. Something was fascinating and magnetizing about the way a worm squirmed in pain when you split it. How both sides wiggled aimlessly. I believe this is the cause of me. Why I've been increasingly drawn to the morbid over the years. I think that's where it started.

Also the trauma of accidentally killing my pet mouse by putting it and my brothers mouse into a container and shaking it when I was 6 because I thought they would find it fun-

Ughhhhhhhhhhhh I fucking hate this

She had a heart attack after I released her and the other mouse, who ended up fine and just did...hyper mouse things because he was hyper??...but I really really don't wanna talk about it beyond that because it made me really sad and upset and I felt horrible about it. I don't know what the fuck I thought would happen when I did that tbh. God, I feel so horrible about it still 14 years later...I just needed to get it off my chest because I've only told therapists about it. I lied when my parents found her and asked if I knew how she died. I even, hid the container. I never told them and Ive cried about it so many times. I know this wasn't supposed to be what this post was about but fuck, it makes me feel awful.

Anyways, I'm gonna go throw up now

[benefits1986]

YE 2023 Countdown: Story Lines > Story Lies

Show. Don't tell. That's how worthwhile stories ought to unfold.

Feelings Management 101 is now in my book. It's not easy but if I want to nail down my "14 going 40" life peg, I'd have to train my protein-deficient social and mental muscles in time for another social construct called NEW YEAR. Let's add subtopics in this rubric so that I don't fall into the trap of overthinking, for a change.

Today is a holiday, I think, but I'm on wellness leave; so, I just had a super "go with flow" day because I usually plan my leaves down to my shot list and numbers of rum/whisky shots taken, too. Since, this day is quite curious, let me try to show how it panned and dollied. CHOZ.

Story #1: Passenger Seat Princess Dashboard Confessions I shared that my 4th anak-anakan was the one who convinced me to go to ina and ama's humble home for Christmas. She asked me to be her passenger princess since she is a student driver. She invited me for brunch in Muni Coffee because she knew I'm getting back to IF after feasting on a whole lot of decent holiday food that doesn't involved spaghetti, macaroni salad, fried white tilapia or ina's famous menudo ng angkan.

I slept for 7 solid hours which is a pleasant surprise as I'm trying my best to refocus my lens that has been wonky for a few months, already. Honestly, I need this break to prevent the 12 out 12 signs of burnout. I asked her if she wanted to review so I could squeeze in even 4 solid hours of work, but, she choked me. LOL. She told me that she'd also run errands and that she'd need me to be with her.

Of course, I said yes, because why not? As we were passing through the balmy roads of ina's sleepy town, we had a real talk without the filters. I asked her how she is, really and this time around, I actually answered her: Ate, "kamusta ka ba talaga" question which I usually evade and divert. She was taken aback when I told her that her luwas to Manila is actually a trigger turned glimmer. I thanked her because that timeframe reminded me that my life is not as crappy as I thought it was. I also told her that her 100% trust with my meager existence is something that keeps me more alive. Of course, we had a good dash of bashing, but I told her that I'm learning a lot from her Gen Z brainwaves. LOL.

Even when she knows that she's the tamer version of wild child, scattered brain, brain fog me, she's allowing herself to embrace emotional maturity way better than me at 23. LOL. Ang lala ko kasi talaga nung 23 ako. HAHAHAHAHA. She also asked me super specific questions that I'm not gonna TMI because, kahihiyan levels 100000.

Honestly, she is my kind of "uncut" journal, too. Medyo lume-level na siya kina soul sis and Ju sa mga puwede akong ma-blackmail levels na 'to. LOLOLOLOL. But, I'm not threatened because she is my safe space when it comes to certain topics that are super ugh.

Syempre, dinaldal na naman ng tatay kong magaling ang Japan trip ko and seryosong if I have the funds and she has the time, I'd take her to Japan with me. HAHAHAHA. E busy na siya sa Q1 since she's off to med school preps. Ako naman, super specific lang din ng budget because medyo mapapalaban tayo ng malala sa JaFunds pero ready naman tayo kahit munti. LOL. Hotel bookings from travel buddy paganaps are super sulit because maganda location. HAHAHAHAHA.

I know, one day, we'd spend 2 weeks in Japan and by then, she's closer to giving me a legit med cert for whatever it is that I'd like to officiate. LOL. Kidding aside, seeing my 4th anak-anakan in her element even if she's stabilizing her body chem, the pressure of being the first doctor sa angkan, her ate-daughter duties and all the things in between, I know she's gonna make way better choices than I did ages ago. I'm kinda living vicariously through her, too.

#2 Kids Say, Do, Feel, Think The Darnest & Darkest Things Since my three Gen Alpha cousins think that I'm 27 years old, I almost flipped. LOL. Ganun ba talaga ako ka-immature? Hahahahaha. They feel like they can just invade my space and don't feel sorry for them or for me. LOL. I find it funny that even when I'm RBF, they seem to come too close whenever there's a window of opportunity.

Mga 3 hours max lang talaga kaya ng pake ko, but, this holiday kagulo with them hits differently. First, I gifted Vi her second violin. It's a hand-me-down from a super good friend who migrated to get married and have a kid. This violin is a reminder of my first ever encounter with an actual hold up. LOL. I did a few lessons, but, I didn't push through as I remember the scenes with every fiddle. The mom of Vi almost flipped because the price tag is kinda steep. I told her that "pahiram" lang naman 'yun. HAHAHAHAHA. Violin-teacher approved because the former owner, my super good friend actually played it for a short while.

Second, Vi is so weird because she kept smelling my pits as she's trying to sleep. Sabi ko tigil niya kasi 'di pa ako naliligo. Sabi niya: Why do you smell so good? Sabi ko naman: UHM. NO. Weirdo kasi si Vi. As in. Artsy e. But, you know why I don't want her actions and her comments? I smell mother dragon's pits when I want to lambing and go to sleep even when I was a full adult na working na. LOL. Ang weird pala nun noh? A while ago, I didn't get triggered which is so refreshing. Small win ko 'yan. Allow the emotions to flow instead of constricting them and CTRL + ALT + DEL them.

Third, my Virgo baby girl (VBG) who's dalaginding middle child is a tough cookie. Medyo kakaiba 'to kasi she and my brother share the same birthday. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Dad teases me na kamukha ko 'to nung bata ako pero payat siya. :p VBG is super moody to the point that it gets off the roof. Very Virgo, very like my brother especially during his early days. You know what calms VBG? Hugs and words of affirmation --two things I abhor. :D But, I've learned that kids who have fucked up mood swings usually feel overstimulated and/or overwhelmed. Hugging her and affirming her even when I feel like a total idiot reminds me of my childhood in a way. As a millennial Tita, I think and see the difference of this approach. It's not easy, might be counter-intuitive to a lot of people, pero wapakels naman ako since wala namang masamang sumubok. She threw a good round of tantrums because she was teased yet again by my brother and her mom.

I gave her space and tried hugging her. I told her that I'm just by her side and that she's a sweet, gentle, smart baby girl. Aba, nakalma. HAHAHAHAHA. 'Yung pagiging middle child niya kasi is medyo sagad. 11 months apart lang sila nung bunso. Ayun, tantrum volcano eruption averted and nahatid namin pauwi ng maayos sa bahay nila since maaga pa silang lalarga bukas.

Third, my binatilyong cousin (Le) who's the only thorn among the roses, is shaping up. He's no longer the bully brother kahit paano. He was actually the one who started my age reveal and he failed miserably. Akala raw niya talaga 27 lang ako with matching wide eyes and mouth opened wide. Le is a thinker and a competitive doer. Siguro kasi siya lang lalaki and he seems to have this thirst to be the kuya when he's but the second child with an ate (my 4th anak-anakan) who's super straightup na strict na RBF. He seems to have a girlfriend na and I'm really glad to see him in a more confident and caring chapter. HUHUHUHUHU. Syempre, mga jokes nilang magkakapatid medyo graphic na graphic. Matic lang sa kanila na DIE as a joke. Sabi ko tigil nila 'yun kasi it's a bad joke. They learn it from YouTube raw and it's a joke, a common one. Sabi ko naman, tigilan nila kakanood ng kunwaring kid-friendly channels.

Kids. I think is not my cup of tea nor my goblet of sangria, but as I told my 4th anak-anakan, if magkaroon ako, TL 'yun. GG pa. TL = true love. GG = God's Gift. JUSQ. I have yet to get my check up again kasi mas madali pa rin for me to go to the menopausal route para tapos na talaga 'tong topic na 'to. :P Mas madaling magiging negotiations and zero chances na ng inception.

#3 The Box of Chocolate and Crate of Lemons Called Life

My tito (Eu) chose to stay in ina's home instead of having a trip with his whole family. His reason: Fighting the gravity pull of his advanced CA. Tito Eu has been battling this bitch for 3 years in no less than Singapore's National Cancer Center. It is a bloody fight and I've been trying to reach out to him more often even when this reminds me of Tito Taurus quite a lot. The thing is that, Tito Eu is dad's "best rival" ever since they were hunting down firewood and getting coconuts at a young age together. By best rival, I mean, 'yung magkapatid na onti lang years agwat and basically outsmarted each outher nung bata. Dad naman is not competitive unless triggered, so, I try my best to help him look after Tito Eu. Dad said that he's not ready to lose another family member to CA.

Tito Eu is a strong force to reckon with. LOL. But, what I like about him is that he wants a healthy debate and is open to a super unfiltered talk. The past months, he's more vocal about how he really feels and this is something that I hope to happen more and more. Since he flies non-stop to get treated and tested, our time to catch up is not that much. I guess that this is another way for me and dad to face death as friend rather than a foe through Tito Eu.

He knows that he's but a ticking time bomb and that his expiration date is just around the corner. Since he's an adrenaline junkie, dad and I egg him to do shit that would make him more alive which are: skydiving, bungee jumping, getting a pimped 4WD pick up and the like.

It's heartbreaking to hear him share that he's feeling the pull of his battle as he's been losing weight because of poor appetite. From 102 kgs, he's now at 100 kg, real quick. I'd try to squeeze in a roadtrip with him if he's up for it in the coming days. When you see him, he doesn't look sick at all, maangas pa rin 'to e. My only hope is that he'd be able to make peace with the things that he's worried about; so he can focus on his graceful finish. Easier said than done, but I know and feel that this sad story is a story of hope and total surrender. While at it, I'd like dad and I to have more open conversations about this topic, too.

#4 Mothers Know Best/Mothers Know Nothing Moms, moms, moms. The world is made and destroyed by moms. LOL. Having a mom is tough. Losing a mom is way tougher; even when it can be "good riddance" at the core.

Moms are usually given a report card that they didn't sign up for, but did anyway. Seeing my titas and cousins who are living the mom life up close and from afar is weird. It's kind of expected from moms to know so many things and know best even when they are clueless about answers and questions, too.

Moms also know nothing because there's no graduate program or even a handbook for this super specific role. However, moms signed up for this and they try their best to embrace all the facets and fuck ups that go with motherhood in the hood.

Losing mother dragon and ina is a game changer. Even when the celebration in ina's house is above average, the menudo and white tilapia of ina are irreplaceable. I've been gently asking my angkan one on one about how they're coping and damnnnnndamin all over and over and over again.

I guess, this is me trying my most challenging empath/wounded healer era to date. While at it, I am also able to come closer to how I didn't grieve mom's loss since 2012. It's always on WIP but now, steroids doesn't trigger me as much. Palliative healthcare topics don't burn me inside out. More importantly, I'm slowly growing into a headspace that's brewed the right way.

I want to go on and on and on and on, but I'm choosing to end this here and now, for now. Catch you later?