#if I failed there's a good chance I'd wind up with brain damage... and fuck man... I can't even get by as is
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
.
#it's a shame that I don't have a gun where I could be confident that I could kill myself#both cause I'm pretty sure I know what you're supposed to aim for; and because there's no chance medical help could get here in time#the reason I don't hang myself is because I'm only about 80% sure that things would hold#I just don't trust that belt; not quite enough anyway; and I'd trust my knot work less not to mention I lack a rope#...basically; what I really don't trust is everything to hold once my unconscious body starts flailing#if I failed there's a good chance I'd wind up with brain damage... and fuck man... I can't even get by as is#so basically I either have to do it right in one go; or I need to wait till I can make sure I'll do that#that's the only reason I'm not killing myself... well... if not right now; then tonight... yesterday... tomorrow#just can't be sure enough#of course I'm afraid of dying; but frankly today or in a hundred years... it doesn't change anything; there I just have to plunge#but my real fear is fucking things up#I need to get my hands on a gun; I need to die; I'm so utterly unfit to live and just such a useless blight on the world#I provide nothing; I need to be gone
1 note
·
View note