#if I don't get it I'll write it my goddam self

[kaedeakeshisworld]

Vinland saga spoilers episode 18

Ebi-san is a snack I'd have a bite of 🫣 he so fine, why?? Anyways... this dude triggered an 'Alucard(from helping in count form) type of admiration' I hate his ass so much but love him too (my life is a fecking joke)

Girl I thought Gardar had killed Ebi-san but he didn't like ????

Dude really said I can't die yet 💀

Gardar is such a strong man!?! Why is it the long haired dudes with beard having this effect on me always(nah I think it's period me🥰)

Anyways arnheid got beat up so bad I knew the baby wouldn't make it through or her

Ketil made her his punching bag and refused to sell her saying shit among the Lines of she's mine she belongs to me

Crazy bitch I gotta say

But he really thought after violently beating her she would make it through

'Couz you a different type of dim with a sprinkle of naivety coating your eyelids 🤭

If Ebi-san didn't stop him he'd continue

I didn't read the manga but Arnheid is going to die y'all such a beautiful woman gotta go through all this shit a fucking gain

I'm so mad😤

Einar and Thorfinn were sold at least their enslaved life could possibly end (fingers crossed)

Canute with his beard and scar could make me go cross eyed from mere eye contact (I can't keep living like this seriously 🥲)

stuff from other episodes which marked me

Askeladd's backstory was too much to handle but I hate his ass still

thorfinn's dad could choke me and I'd die happily( my size kink doesn't help one bit added to my strength kink)

how could I forget thorkell (he's voiced by my favourite seiyuu of all time so I am overjoyed whenever I hear his voice.)

I need thorkell injected into my bloodstream like Tatsuro Yamashita's discography to live!!

[windingcorridor]

Manhunt is a life-changer, the kind of book that shifts your insides around and makes room for itself. I finished it at 3am last night, and have been wandering around the house since. I feel hollowed out. I want to- need to- read it again. Christ.

This book has a ton of Content Warnings, some stemming from genre, most stemming from its premise and perspective. CW: transphobia, dead-naming, cannibalism, dysphoria, rape, implied incest, fatphobia, public execution, slavery, torture, body horror.

Disclaimer: I'm writing this review from my perspective as a man exploring their gender, folding in They/ Them pronouns with my He/ Him. While I have considered in myself whether or not I am a woman, I don't think I am. Do with that info what you will.

I found Manhunt on a recommendation shelf at my local bookstore- shout out to Eagle Eye Books in Decatur, GA- and its cover grabbed me instantly. It's a shocking image, blunt in its implication and color. It's a fitting one, too, echoing the words inside. You're going to get grabbed and the story isn't going to let go until the last.

You can get a synopsis for the thing anywhere, so no need here. Just know that Fran & Beth's story starts with the punchline- "What if being a man turned you into a rage zombie?"- and runs red with it. Being a trans woman is already goddam hard in the real world- now imagine people looking at you the same way people in zombie movies look at people who have been bit. It's a fantastic grounding device, with Felker-Martin using it as a jumping off point to point out how fucked transphobia can get.

Speaking of rage, this book is so full of anger and hatred, righteous and otherwise. It smacks you, not just inside the content but with its construction. Felker-Martin hates transphobes, trustfund child-adults, people who will put a hashtag on their twitter profile but never do anything. She never writes this out explicitly, but the way th`e story is told? Buddy, she makes that very clear.

The characters are deliciously complex. You start with easy sketches- the pretty one, the strong one, the fat one, the TERF, the trans man, etc- but you hop from perspective to perspective often enough that things begin to mold into a rich picture.

(If I have any criticism of the book at all, it's that, occasionally, we shift perspective so fast and often that timelines can get wobbly. I'll think it's only been a few hours in-story, but then a character will mention it's been a few weeks. It course corrects cleanly, though, and never became too much of an issue.)

One of the perspective characters- Ramona- is a part of The Legion, militarized TERFs who have taken over huge swaths of the US in name of eradicating "men wearing womanface." Thing is, Ramona has a thing for trans women. By day, she's an XX chromosome tattoo wearing Nazi, by night she's sleeping with a trans lover in a secret brothel. She hates her hypocrisy (so many of the characters ooze self-hatred), but she is so caught up in the fervor of her movement that she can't slow down.

These contradictions cover the whole cast. At times, I hated them. Others, I loved them. By the end, all I wanted to do is spend more time with them.

It's here I want to say- I love you, Beth. It's obvious that the author loves you, too. Not in the "here's-some-plot-armor" way, the book isn't cheap like that. The author writes Beth and all of the other trans characters with so much empathy, personal history, and heart, it's difficult not to see them as breathing, beautiful people.

When you have a book like this- one that moves at so much force- you worry that there isn't a way in hell that it will stick the ending. Happy to report that as much of a power-drill the last act is, I left the book satisfied. I, alone in my living room, warm forgotten beer on the coffee table, wife and daughter asleep in the next room, muttered, "Whoa," when I read the last paragraph.

So, yeah. Read Manhunt. It isn't for everyone. The best art never is. But if you allow yourself to be taken by it, hold on.

Nick <3

[ephemeral-phosphorescence]

Hey, so this post got semi-popular so I figured I’d explain the joke a bit more.

Some people have theorised American Gods as an inspiration for this post and while it is strange and blasphemous, it’s not actually what I’m talking about. Rick Riordan (and the contemporaries he popularised) make their money by re-inventing an ancient religion in a modern way. Of course, by doing so, they greatly simplify a diverse, nuanced and complicated set of deities. They do this because Riordan is writing a story for children and getting caught in the complications will interrupt an otherwise flowing narrative. That isn’t to say Riordan’s stories aren’t educational- but they’re a baseline understanding to build on. Not much more. And even that completely glosses over the Modern Greeks and the modern worshippers of those deities today.

Neil Gaiman's approach to fantasy, in series such as Good Omens or The Sandman is to appropriate the Christian mythology for his own purposes, the same way Riordan approaches his chosen religion. And because Christians don't have any goddam self-reflection, it throws them into a fucking tizzy. The idea of their "Sacred Truth" being fictionalised so it can be better used as the backdrop for a narrative has them throwing fits. It doesn't matter that they're allowed to do that with Greek and Roman and Egyptian religions, screw the modern Hellenists, screw the modern Greeks! I'm trying to point out that evangelical protests to books such as this are greatly hypocritical.

I find the Christian obsession with ancient Greek Religion interesting. It's an acceptable deviance from the worship of the Capital G God and an acceptable study topic, unlike say, interest in the Islamic or Buddhist religions. I have a feeling a lot of it stems from the feeling of these deities being an ancient religion and therefore, not a "competitor" with the current christians. As a straight white man in the christian culture of America, this is the perspective Rick Riordan approaches from. As a child, I was allowed to read Percy Jackson and Narnia. I wasn't allowed to read Good Omens or the Adventures of Taashi.

This isn't a bash to either author by the way. Rick Riordan has his flaws but if you consider his approach to be largely simplified and not representative of the Greek Gods as a whole, it's fine. And I'll be honest I haven't even read Neil Gaiman's works (anything that has the Devil in it triggers my religious trauma immensely) but as a practicing christian, I think his satirical consideration of the christian mythology widely important.

Oh, so when Rick Riordan woobifies the Greek gods and writes messy fanfiction about them it’s fine, but when I, Neil Gaiman

[hannibalruinedme]

Shizaya and Nostalgia

This is a very personal late night rant. Many years ago, back when I was a thriving teenager, I discovered "Shizaya". I immediately got obsessed with the pair and started watching Durarara. (I've watched s2 and s3 while it was on going)

I was completely in love with Shizuo and Izaya. Especially Izaya. I was smitten by him. I remember even writing this huge ass love letter to Izaya in my note pad xD. I loved him. I genuinely did so. (I love him still. I love shizaya so damn much that it hurts)

It might sound awkward to some of you, but I genuinely care about these "fictional characters". They mean the world to me actually.

Back to Shizaya.

There wasn't a single doujin left which I didn't read back then. I used to read my favourite ones every night. Along with the ao3 fanfics. Separate folders in my phone for the fanarts and doujins. They were my main ship. The real OTP. Eventhough I knew it was very unlikely, I genuinely did root for them. And the consequence? Well. We all know what happened. Especially to Izaya. (Cried for days)

However my teenage self couldn't accept what happened to her one real OTP back then. After many weeks of tears (and desperate google searches including "will shizuo visit izaya?" "will izaya come back?") I decided to end it all for good. that's exactly what I did. With a broken heart I left the fandom after reading the "Sunset with Izaya".

Now 6 years later, I've come to this conclusion, which is:

Once a fangirl, is always a fangirl.

Once you love something, you never really get over it. The best you can do is to pretend you don't care.

A few weeks ago, I stumbled upon a shizaya fanart which immediately reminded me of my past. My obsession. How they used to feel like home. How a fictional ship can become your safe place. A comfort zone. How genuinely happy you become when you find that one good fanfic! That one too realistic fanart which makes your heart shutter! So I said, FUCK IT, I'll just be strong for once and revisit the certainly dead fandom. (it's been too long).

Guess what? I realized the last shizaya fic was uploaded on ao3 a few hours ago...there are countless tumblrs dedicated to shizaya and they even update frequently.....which, really did make my heart ache tbh. I went on to read the shizaya doujins. They were published more than 10 years ago. I've read them countless times. (Brings back memories :""") )

It hurts to go back to them. It fills me with a SAD AF, NOSTALGIC ACHE. IT BREAKS MY GODDAM HEART AND MAKES ME WANNA CRY FOREVER, yet it's fine. I love it. They still feel like home. No matter what happened to them in the novel, doesn't really matter as long as there are still amazing ppl writing about them. Drawing them. Keeping them alive.

You writers, you fangirls, you crazy girls and boys dedicated to their OTPS.. DO YOU GUYS HAVE ANY IDEA HOW AMAZING YALL ARE? You guys deserve the world. Thank you so much for what you guys do. Thank you so much for writing such amazing fics. Thank you so much for giving our boys the love they deserve. For giving them the ending they truly deserved all along.

PS: it's been so long, so, can any of you please update me with the current shizaya news?? Any update after the sunset novel? How's my boy doing?

What's up with Shizuo in DRRR SH? (Please don't tell me he ended up with vorona now lmao)

Is there any chance they might come back...?

[sillydg]

Unfulfilled Hunger: Tobias X MC

Book: Open heart, somewhere in book 3

Rating: 18+ (Adult content!)

Pairing: Tobias X MC ((Elisabeth Sarah Hughes (Liz))

Title: Unfulfilled Hunger

Rating: Explicit NSFW 18 + Only

Wordcount: 6500

Summary: Thank you so much for your request, @kachrisberry, to write what happens if they get back at Tobias’s apartment, after him carrying her out of the Laser tag game. A follow-up, for “Foul Play”.

Category: Explicit Smut

A/N: First of all, I find it important to say that both Liz and Tobias feel safe to protect their own boundaries and to speak up if something is not too their likings. They're both adults and both are completely comfortable and wanting to engage in each of these activities. A/N: This one ended up a bit longer than anticipated (Pun intended). But I got my hands on Tobias.. and maaaaaybe got a little bit carried away... But no, nah, not going to apologize for that 😉. Please let me know if you guys enjoyed the ride and please sent me an ask if you want to request something for OH or The royal romance, because I loved writing this and I'll hope you enjoy reading it.

Warnings: Foul language (sexy talk and swearing), Explicit adult seksual content. IF you read this FF, you confirm that you're 18 years or older.

Tobias and MC belong to Pixelberry.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Unfulfilled Hunger

Tobias opens his door with one hand, pulling Liz through with the other. “It’s a goddamn miracle that we got home in one piece, Hughes." He slams the door and pushes her against it, crashing his lips against her...

Murmering he continuous; “You almost fucking killed me by touching yourself like that in the car." His hands drifting over her body. "For god's sake, you already came once and I almost caused an accident by just looking at you trembling like that in the frontseat.”

Liz grins as he moves his kisses to her neck. “I had to do something, since I was not allowed to touch you. Besides, I simply HAD to touch myself at the sight of you.” She kicks off her boots.

Tobias bites her neck with a groan. “Ohhh, you dirty, dirty girl.”

Grinning she pushes him away, making him bump into the wall across from her.

“Off with the shirt, Carrick.”

“So commanding.” He gives her a cheeky smile. Such a turn-on.

“For a woman who was first complaining about me getting my shirt off… you changed your mind pretty quickly.”

“Oh save it, Carrick.” She tugs at his shirt, trying to take it off herself.

He grabs her wrists, turning her around. "Oh. I don't think so, Liz." He pins her against the wall with her hands up in the air.

“Now, I believe I was enjoying myself.” His lips find her neck again.

“For god's sake, T. Stop torturing me. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you all week after that little stunt you pulled .

Standing bare chested in front of me, but holding my hands so there was no way of touching you. Brushing your delicious lips against mine, without giving me the slightest taste of your tongue. All I could think of was touching, tasting, savoring you. For god's sake, I know you've noticed me undressing you with my eyes.”

Tobias looks up, meeting her eyes with a twinkle. “Ooooh, was that what you were doing during our daily meetings. I already wondered what you were thinking about when you stared at me like that, biting on your pen. Licking your cherry red lips.”

“Ohh, You very well knew, T. Because you were walking around 24-7 with that goddam annoyingly sexy, self-conscious smirk on that way too handsome face of yours.

God. I had to touch myself every night, when I was lying in bed. Desperate attempt, after desperate attempt to satisfy the hunger you released in me. But it never seemed enough. I'm so fucking hungry for you, Carrick. ”

He leans back to meet her gaze, his eyes filled with longing and frustration. She feels her knees getting weak at the intensity of him staring at her, glad to be pinned against the wall. “Well, it serves you right, Liz.”

He breaks the gaze and unbuttons her short with one hand, letting it slide onto the ground. His hand moves into her red lacy panties, softly stroking her lips, teasing her inner thighs. He smiles at the feeling how wet she already is for him and he lowers his mouth to her ear, whispering; “Now you know how I felt over the past few months, Liz. It started when I first saw you in that deli, with your messy bun and yoga pants.

It became worse after the fire I saw in your eyes when we met at Bloom. You were so snarky at me, Liz. I wanted to bend you over the table, pull up that way to the tight dress of yours, and give you a good spank, just to let you know who’s the boss. And believe me... It sure isn’t Ethan.

But things got really messy from the moment I saw you in that short at the baseball field." He lowers his voice to what almost sounds like a deep growl; "You know why I missed every freaking ball that day, Liz?”

She groans as he moves his hand out of her string.

“Because every time you threw the ball, your shirt would come up ever so slightly and showed this little part of your belly and the fucking lacy edge of your little pink thong.” He moves his fingertip over her sensitive skin right above her panties and she lets out a soft moan.

His hand disappears again in search of her clit, moving softly and slowly. Taking his sweet, sweet time to find the right spot.

The roughness of his stubble, the tickling of his husky voice, and now him touching her at her most sensitive spot... She feels a warmth quickly spreading through her body.

“You ruined me that day, Hughes.” He gently moves two fingers inside her, still drawing slow, sweet circles over her clit with his thumb. Her breath enhances, and he feels her contracting around his fingers.

“I’ve been touching myself ever since at the thought of dropping the bat and taking you right there on the field. Not caring who sees me, trusting into you, making you mine.

So it serves you right.”

He leans back again to take look at her. Her eyes are closed, completely at his mercy. His lips find hers in a slow, deep kiss, and he feels how close she gets to release. He murmurs to her lips. “Not yet, Hughes.”

He abruptly lets go of her wrist, letting his hand slip out her briefs. Leaving her breathing hard as her arms fall, startled at the sudden movement.

He walks away towards the living room, and right before he disappears, he gives her a million-dollar smirk over his shoulder. And after just a second she sees his shirt flying into the hallway.

Trying to compose herself from almost getting pushed over the edge, she leans against the wall. After a few deep breaths, she kicks the short off her feet, following him into the living room. So, we're still playing dirty.

She finds Tobias casually leaning against the counter, a drink in his hand. She swallows as she takes him in. Her eyes drift over his toned brawnylicous abs, moving down to his pants which are hanging dangerously low on his hips, just enough to make her thoughts go wild, but not enough to reveal anything.

She smiles cheekily, trying to hide how taken she is with the sight of him. God, his ego might explode if he only knew. “So, where Is my drink?”

He gives her his signature smirk. “Well, I thought, since I’ve taken my shirt off, I’m going to enjoy a drink while I watch you take your shirt off.. and after that, we can talk about you having a drink.” He moves towards the large breakfast counter and jumps to sit on it, clearly expecting a show.

She turns around, smiling over her shoulder. "Careful what you are wishing for, Carrick. Sure you can handle me?" She starts to move her hips slowly from side to side.

Tobias bites his lip as he looks at her perfectly shaped ass, dressed ever so little by the red lace string she is wearing. As she lets her hands drift over her rounds, he follows her hands up as they grip onto her small tank top. And with one fluid pull, it falls on the ground, right where he likes it to be.

He glances at her as she turns around, showing off her matching set, with all the curves in the right places. He is surprised to see that her bra is practically one small piece of fabric, adoring the sight of her nipples shining and peaking through the red lace.

Smirking, he moves his hand over his chest. “You cheeky Minx. You planned this, didn’t you? Or are you always wearing these matching lingerie sets..”

She sways forward, smiling seductively. Tobias's eyes are completely fixated on her breasts, slowly moving down to her swaying hips and back up, not able to determine where to look.

“I think I’m going to let you find that out for yourself. It might surprise you how diverse my lingerie is… So I suggest you undress me every day from now on…”

He swallows; “God, where have you been hiding, Hughes?”

Shrugging casualy, she cocks up an eyebrow.

“Now about that drink, T.”

He gets ready to jump off the counter, but she stops him. “Oooh no Carrick... you stay... right there, like the good boy you are.” She moves to stand between his legs. “Now, let me take care of this for you.” She tucks on his jeans, pulling them off.

“My, my, what a treat.” She moves her hand over the big bulk in his boxers and smiles. "And you dare to ask, where I've been hiding, T?"

He lets out a deep moan as she keeps caressing him. He leans backward on his hands, giving in to the feeling. She gives him a cheeky smile, puts his legs together, her hands onto the counter, and straddles him after one effortless jump."

Caught off-guard he starts to stumble, looking at the woman suddenly at his eye-level. “What the..”

“Ohh Carrick, Carrick, Carrick” She kisses him softly, teasing his lips with her tongue. Holding herself steady with her hands on his chest, slowly grinding her pussy against his hard cock through his boxers. After a few minutes of exploring, she encourages him to lie on his back. Tongues still dancing and she feels him gasp, the moment he touches the cold marble with his bare skin.

While pulling back, she keeps the friction going, and not only for his pleasure. “I might have forgotten to tell you… But I love yoga, it’s not just the comfortable pants for me. And I might have done gymnastics for a big part of my life. So if you keep up the good work, Carrick, you might get the chance to find out how flexible I really am.”

“For god’s sake,” he murmurs under his breath. She keeps rubbing herself against his hard length, not quite enough to take him over the edge, but enough to let him balance on it...

“Now, I need you to move up, Carrick. I want this whole divine body of yours onto this counter.”

He smirks; "What makes you think that you're the one in control, Hughes? Remember what happened earlier when you tried to command me? Or do I need to refresh your memorie?"

A sly smile appears on her face; "It must be nice, living in that head of yours T. Still convinced you're the one in control? Let me give you a piece of reality, mister." She removes his boxer, throwing it through the living room.

She smirks as they lock eyes, anticipation noticeable on Tobias's face. Of course, the moment he saw her at the deli was the moment where she completely gained control over him. Haunting his dreams, fantasies, and even in bed with other women she regularly popped up in his head, making stuff a lot better. But that doesn't stop him from one last desperate attempt to keep the facade up.

She encircles him with her soft hands, slowly moving up and down, while teasing his tip with a few small, fast licks.

"Nnnghh."

"What was that, Carrick?"

"Oh for fuck sake."

She moves her hand down, following the line under his tip firmly with her tongue. It makes his muscles tense, and he moves his ass slightly up as a deep grunt escapes his throat. “Ohhhhh, Yes Liz.”

Smirking she looks down at the man beneath her. "Now, If you want me to keep doing that, you better move that delicious ass of yours right now, T!"

He starts moving while muttering some swear words under his breath, while she keeps teasing him with her hands and tongue.

Her eyes twinkle and she puts on a naughty smile;“God Carrick, I’m going to have so much fun with you now we have established who is the one in charge.”

She leans in, one hand on the counter and the other one exploring his neck, down to his chest. Licking his lips, inviting his tongue to meet hers. He opens his mouth and lets her in. His hands slipping under her bra, softly teasing her nipples, drawing small moans from her mouth.

Without him noticing she grabs his drink off the counter and she gently pulls back. Their blues meet and she bites her lip. “Now, about that drink.”

His breath stops as soon as the golden liquid hits his chest. She pours it, bit by bit, between the gap in his abbs, slowly moving down to his belly button, her eyes never leaving his.

“Hughes, you’re unbelievable.”

“You better know it, T.”

She puts the glass down, moving her attention to his chest as she softly let her fingers drift through the scotch. She moves her finger to cover his full lips, kissing him softly after.

“Mmh... That’s the good stuff, Carrick.”

She moves her tongue, licking the liquid of his chest, feeling his muscles flex under her touch wherever she goes.

He looks at her, hypnotized, his breath fastening as she slowly moves further and further down. Skin getting more sensitive with every lick, bite and suck as she savors the scotch off him. Oh my god.

His muscles tense as she arrives at his belly button, and when there is no drop left, she moves her focus to his lower abdomen. She looks up, as she hears him moan, smiling at the sight of his glistering abs and the pleasure showing on his face.

He groans; “Oh God, you really are enjoying my body, don't you Hughes?”

“Every fucking part of it..”

"Good, 'cause it's yours to use from now on. Whenever you want, I'll even get you your special beeper for emergencies."

"I'll hold you onto that. Now... ready for some fun, Carrick?"

He smirks contently as she moves her head further down and starts teasing the top of his hardness again.

But then he realizes that it probably would take nothing more than a few sucks to release, given how worked up he already is.

And nothing was further from the truth. Without warning, she stopped teasing, taking his full length in her mouth. After a few seconds of settlement, she starts deep throating him, and before he gets the chance to protest it turns black before his eyes, pushing his head back and he releases in her mouth.

She teases him with a few more sucks, making sure that every drop of him gets savored while enjoying the feeling of his body trembling under her mouth. For a minute he lies on the counter, breathing hard. "For fuck sake, Hughes."

She shrugs with a sly smile "Oops, got a little bit carried away there."

He slowly starts to get regain his senses and he looks up to a smirking Liz, sticking out cheekily the tip of her tongue.

“But, damn, that tasted even better than the scotch T.”

He hides his face behind his hands to hide a satisfied smile at her bold words.

After just a few more deep breaths, he manages to collect himself and jumps off the counter. “Glad that you enjoyed that, Liz, but now it’s my turn.” He scoops her up from the counter and throws her over his shoulder without any effort. Oh, I’m taking back control now.

After a few satisfying smacks on her butt, he sits down on the bed, letting her slide down on his lap. His lips find hers and he starts to unhook her bra, throwing it into a corner. He takes one of her nipples in his mouth while teasing the other with his hand. Her head falls back as she starts to grind once again in his lap. “Oh, God Tobias I already feel you grow again.” She reaches out to stroke him, but to avoid losing control once again he stands up, grabbing her at her thighs, and he throws her onto the soft bed.

“No more touching me, until I’m done with you, Liz. That means AFTER two orgasms, I’m going to fuck your brains out. But now. You’re completely at my Mercy." She nods, biting her lip. "Good girl. Now, grab the headboard, and don’t let go.”

Her eyes start to glister at the commanding tone in his voice and she completely surrenders. Obediently she grabs the headboard.

“And Liz... Don’t make a sound, until I tell you to.”

She swallows and a hot shiver runs through her body, by hearing those words, setting her body on fire. Such a turn-on.

He rips her panties off in one tuck, drawing her in for a deep kiss, while teasing her entrance with his erection. He starts to rubs his dick against her clit. Taken by the urge to feel him closer she starts to shift her hips up, urging him to enter her. Without thinking she sighs between kisses. “God Carrick, I... I need you inside me. I need to feel you deep inside me.”

He immediately stops. “What was that? I believe I heard some sounds coming out of that delicious mouth of yours. Yeah, you want me inside you?”

Realizing that she spoke, her eyes snap open, sucking in a breath while waiting for Tobias to react.

“Three orgasms, it is now.” And without further notice, his lips crash against hers again. His hands firmly exploring her body before they find the place where he started tonight.

He wastes no time, knowing how worked up she was before. His thumb finds her clit, and he sees her biting her arm as he enters her with three fingers, suppressing a moan. God, that’s sexy. He catches the encouragement and starts to moves his fingers faster and faster while sucking on her swollen nipple, caressing her other boob with a firm squeeze.

She trembles, more and more under his touch, finding it harder and harder to keep her moans in. God, she wants to scream his name so badly.

Then he softly bites her nipple and a flick of pain runs through her body, turning quickly into pleasure as she tumbles over the edge, biting even harder in her shoulder, only intensifying her orgasm.

He smirks at her, impressed, but also totally captivated by the look on her face as she comes, shutters and shakes, by his doing. Yeah, I’m never going to get enough of this.

He gives her a few seconds to catch her breath and damn she breaths hard, releasing her arm from her teeth, leaving bite marks.

He gently moves up to guide both of her arms down, which are still clenching to the headboard. He kisses her softly as she opens her eyes to meet his. “You okay?”

She smiles softly and nods. “Good. Ready for me to taste you?” She mouths “Ohh God Yes” without making a sound.

They keep staring into each other’s eyes as the mood shifts 180 degrees. Tobias frowns at her as she takes his face in her hands, knowing very well how much she actually adored this man.

His eyes turn soft and he smiles at her. "You're amazing, you know that, Liz?"

"Show me."

Tobias moves in for a tender and long kiss, cupping her cheeks in his hands. Liz feels her heartbeat rising, now by the soft touch of this man. He covers her body with hers completely as they start to lose themselves in each other. Her hands drift over the back of his head, enjoying the tickling of his soft short hairs, before letting her fingertips drift over his bareback. He slowly undoes her hair and drapes it over the mattress. Their hands meet and fingers entwining. The pillows and sheets are long found on the ground. He drops soft kisses on her neck, murmuring "God, youre beautiful."

He gently lets go of her hands and starts moving, teasing his stubble against her sensitive skin on his way down, breathing in her warm scent on the way. He looks at her glistening clit and gives it a few quick licks.

She directly moves her hips a bit up and he realizes how sensitive she is.

“I can’t wait for you to scream my name, Hughes.” She smiles at the permission to make sounds again.

“Then make me, Carrick.”

He moves his hands up to her hips, pulling her softly towards the edge of the bed as he gets on his knees, laying her legs over his shoulder. He starts licking her softly and slowly, savoring her smell and fluids.

“I need more, T.” She softly grabs his head urging him to come closer. He smiles cheekily and pushes his head back up; “I’m sorry? I believe I missed two magic words?”

“More, PLEASE Carrick, give me more.”

"That's what I'm talking about."

He starts licking and kissing again, but still moving his tong teasingly slow and soft while looking cheekily up to her.

She looks down to meets his eye, and he gives her the sexiest smirk she has ever laid eyes on. “For god's sake Carrick, if you’re going to smirk like that every time you taste me..” He suddenly moves up the pace of his tongue, forcing her to stop talking midsentence. "Nnnngh."

“Yes? Then?” He smiles against her clit, back to teasing her.

“Now you're the one who is unbelievable, T."

"Don't tell me things I'm already aware of. Now, finish that sentence, Hughes."

She sighs, longing for more tongue. "We are going to need a private conversation like this at least two times a day.”

He keeps his smirking up; “Then that's settled” He pushes his head down and lets his tong flick expertly, fast, and firm, letting his fingers assist by moving in and out of her.

“Nnnnhhhhgggg… T..” Her hands grab the sheets and he lets his finger slip out of her, to pull her even closer, steadying her hips. He picks up pase, encouraged by the deep moans. She trembles more and more, urging to move her hips, but his stern grip keeps her in place. You’re not getting away, Hughes.

She starts to move her hands, looking for something to grab as the sheets are not enough to hold onto. Her hands find his head again.

“Fuuuuuuck Carrrrrriccck.”

Yes, that’s it.

She pulls up her knees, body shocking and sweating, and he feels how she comes with his mouth still on her. Seeing her tremble like that...

God, I can’t wait any longer.

“You taste so good, you know that Hughes. Here. Taste.” He kisses her slowly, his hands encircling the back of her neck to draw her even more in, his dick rubbing against her still sensitive pussy, causing her to keep shuttering her body from time to time.

“Are you ready? You've been such a good girl, so I will fuck you towards you’re third orgasm, Liz, don’t you worry.”

Still with her eyes closed, she nods and lets out a satisfied sigh, letting him lead her up on the bed again.

As he completely covers her body with his again he places his dick before her entrance. Theirs eyes meet, both filled with longing to finally get close. She softly moves her hands behind his neck, teasing him with her nails. Maintaining eye contact he slowly starts to move inside her, until his eyes roll back at the feeling of how tight she is.

Her breath enhances, and she smiles, enjoying the visible pleasure on his face. He keeps slowly moving against her until he fills her completely.

Her eyelids start to flicker as he slowly starts thrusting into her.

“God, you’re big, Carrick.” She matches the movement of her hips to his rhythm, moving her legs around his waist to encourage him to go deeper. His lips find hers as he picks up the pace until he is not able to hold his upper body up, with the pleasures running through his body.

He lets out a deep, almost animalistic moan; "So tight Liz, you're so tight."

Leaving her lips and he hides his face in her neck, sucking at her sensitive flesh, leaving his mark.

Her nails slide from his shoulders to his back and smiles against his ear. “Fuck, this is so much better than in the dreams I had about you... T, you fill me up perfectly.”

She feels how he starts to lose control, picking up his pace, more firm with his thrusts as she speaks.

His voice sounds low and gruff. “Ahhh... You've dreamt about me, Hughes? So what did I do to you in these dreams?”

With him putting more power in his thrusts, she feels how he is hitting the right spot over and over again and she moans. “O god yes, Tobias… You... you fucked me in the middle of the diagnostics room on the round table, the next day in the supplies closet, NHHHGGG, on fucking Ethan’s desk, when the rest was out for lunch.”

“Ohhhhh Yes Hughes.” He moves his hands between them, as he keeps thrusting harder and harder, faster and faster while massaging her clit.

Liz is unable to talk as she feels how her body is taken over by the pleasure, quickly rising from her toes to her head, closing her eyes and she certainly was not able to think straight anymore... “Youuu... You… yyy… test nnnnhg lab”

“What are you saying, Hughes?” He smirks, leaning on one arm looking at the woman crumbling to pieces under him. He tries to stall his orgasm, but it gets harder and harder at the sight of her losing her mind, combined with the sexy talk rolling over her swollen lips.

He takes her breasts in his mouth, murmuring “Come on baby, let go once more. Show me that beautiful look on your face.”

His words were enough to push her over the edge, he notices, leaving her breast and again hiding his head in the crook of her neck. Biting, sucking as she encourages his thrusting, drawing blood with her nails on his back.

“Fuuuuuuck yeah, Carrick.”

He feels her pussy contracting around him and lets out a deep groan. He wants to savor the feeling, but the damn release was so close, it was unfightable.

“I need you to fill me up, T. Please... I need you to come.”

He keeps thrusting, barely managing to hold it together as she keeps stumbling each time he slams into her. "Nhhhhhhgggg, Liz, God Liz."

She grabs his head out of her neck, to make him look up, straight in her sparkly, wanting eyes and he keeps thrusting into her, while barely able to hold his own body up while leaning on his hands.

“Fulfill the hunger, Carrick… still my appetite. ”

Holy fuck.

That was it, he feels how he is not able to fight it anymore and he releases, A deep groan escapes, filling her up, like as she wanted it.

His eyes rolling backward “Gnnnnnggg Hughes, for fuck sake…” He sinks through his arms and after a few more thrusts he holds still, both breathing hard, clenching onto each other. After a few minutes, he gives her a bunch of soft kisses on her forehead, before rolling to the side.

“You’re something else, Liz.” He gently grabs her arm, to place soft kisses on the bite mark.

She smiles, still out of breath. “You know, I expected more oooh Lara and ooooh Miss Croft.”

He snorts and she looks at him in surprise.

“You know what Hughes…” He moves his fingertips over her bare body, encircling her nipples before ending at her lips. He smiles softly and just stares at her in awe.

“Seriously, you’re not going to finish that sentence?”

“I’m sorry I got distracted. You know what it is... I lied to you that night we were drunk. You were my fantasy, but I couldn't just say that right. You are my colleague and I've never had the idea I could be something more until I saw the look on your face when you looked at me last week with my shirt off."

She sighs; "Well, It's already hard to hide it with your shirt on Carrick, but it appears to be a real-life mission impossible when you're standing bare-chested in front of me. It does weird things to my brains and body you know."

"Soooo, me suggesting to Ethan that the new work outfits should be shirtless is not an option?"

She giggles; "Oh no, you do that, please. As long as I get to watch when you ask him. Imagine the look on his face."

Tobias bites his lip at the thought; "True, though, I cannot imagine him saying no to a shirtless you...Miss Croft." He winks and pulls her close to his chest, softly caressing her arm.

"O God, I made a total fool out of myself didn't I?"

"Not at all. Never apologize for looking that delicious. Besides, she was my fantasy until you knocked her off her throne, Hughes."

"Oof, so I've drawn some bad blood there, or what?"

"Nah, actually you might have teamed up a few times.”

She laughs; "Well I'm always open for suggestions Carrick, so if you bump into her...never hurts to ask."

His eyes start to glister at her words. "I never dreamt of you being this naughty, Hughes."

"Is that right, Carrick? So, how did I actually do compared to fantasy Liz?"

He smirks “You’ve proven from our first kiss that reality can beat fantasy by a long shot.” He turns to his side to give her a sweet kiss on the lips.

"I don't think I dared to dream that kissing you would feel this good Liz."

Her eyes start to flutter a bit, relaxing at his words. "So I guess there will be a next time, ha?"

"For me, absolutely. I can't wait to get caught with you day after day, making out in the supply closets until they just give us our own, with our names on it, to have a little fun in."

She smiles softly, barely able to keep her eyes open, murmuring; "I would love that, Tobias"

He removes his arm gently from under her neck to get up. He grabs the blankets, covering her and he lifts her head gently to lay it onto a pillow.

"Mmh, thank you T."

He smiles and plants a kiss on her forehead as she gets comfortable, shifting around, moving on her side.

He returns to bed, drawing her in to spoon.

“So about that whole yoga and gymnastics. Care to show me tomorrow in the shower?”

She smiles gently with her eyes closed. “Absolutely. And after that, you might want to show me around in your apartment... I might have missed everything except for 'naked you' and the breakfast counter.”

He laughs and looks at her in all his tenderness. He closes his eyes and moves hides his nose in her hair, breathing in her warm scent, focussing on the sound of her breathing.

Murmuring on the brink of falling asleep. “Deal, Miss Hughes. Besides you can have anything you want from me, anywhere. Because it's very clear that I was never the one in control, and hell, I love it."

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Please let me know if you want to be added or removed. Also please let me know if you want to be tagged for OH, but not for smut like this. Taglist: @schnitzelbutterfingers @kachrisberry @jerzwriter @gkittylove99

@choicesficwriterscreations

[homesickhalfling]

Barry S3 E2 - my thoughts as the episode aired. What do they call that? Live blogging? Whatever I'll put it under a cut to spare you

- wow he's so hot just leaning there fuck

- title card cut always makes me laugh

- THE COOLEST GIRL IN THE WORLD ♡ Elsie Fisher!

- "people don't argue in perfectly scripted arguments"

- the music changes when he enters the room. There's like a dull hum when he's there

- A PURPOSE

- oh my god the editing is great in this show. The slow pull and one sided perspective of this conversation.

- Pacing. Cinematography. Writing. Timing. THIS IS HOW YOU MAKE A SHOW

- the head hitting again!

- yelling 😳😨 but 🥵😏

- Bill is such a FUCKING GREAT ACTOR

- the hypocrisy of her lie grows. She is writing about standing up to her abuser and getting out from under it (which was a lie) but now its clear to everyone that she never really did get out from under it because she's still being abused

- those poor girls are traumatized

- the door unlocking thing, so funny! How smart the way he sneaks in these organically funny moments into such serious ones

- Barry yelling at Cousineau in the trunk so plainly in front of the security guard that can clearly see there's no one else in the car so he is either (1) crazy and yelling to himself or (2) there's someone in the fuckin trunk???

- skinny papa moment- I've definitely had this moment in real life lmao

- the mug hehe such a tough crime boss drinking out of this silly mug

- you actually can report that to HR! You should! Domestic abuse partners showing up at work has killed many people (like that nurse a few years back) it still falls under workplace violence and harassment

- "You're a bad actor Mr cousineau" LOL

- "literally the worst date ever. I'm not exaggerating this time.. No look, he ordered MILK with dinner!" Fucking KILLED ME

- Africa by Toto again

- aww farmers market and sangria so gay

- Luke and Lorelai!!

- OMG CAITLYN RILEY HEY GIRRRRL!! I AM SO PROUD OF YOU Holy shit

- D'Arcy Carden is so freaking cute 😍

- Barry flipping the script and using Cousineau's speech in his audition... wow

- "everyone deserves a second chance" 💔

- there's a lighthouse on Hanks hand (OFMD brain kicks in)

- "wait are you breaking up with me?" Nnooooo! Hes saying I love you!! Hes saying I love you too much to bear the thought of your death and I need you to live, which is why I have to leave. Amaaaazing heartwrenching writing.

- the extended sound effects as he leaves omg omg so good, way to make me laugh when I'm down

- more Metallica

- the plot exposition in this show is so *chefs kiss* my favourite thing about Barry is it never underestimates the audience. (Its so fucking meta and self aware) the show presents itself to a smart viewer who can glean the story development through the details in set dressing, blocking, lighting, sound, cinematography. It all works to tell the story so perfectly and doesn't try to hammer in the dumb shit we can know just from visual queues with bogged down or overdone dialogue.

- this phone call where she's apologizing after he yelled at her (1) and he's just acting like nothing even happened (2) is a very real (and again wildly self aware and meta) depiction of what an abusive and unhealthy relationship is like! She's stuck doing everything she can (making him dinner, putting on his fav music, buying him a new controller, saying she wants to hear that he's happy) just to placate this damaged man to try and keep his wrath away. This poor girl is just like me... can't keep herself away from damaged men.

-also the writing of her character to always think of herself first in every single scenario is just very organic and consistent and you'd barely notice it if she wasn't so goddam annoying

- Wilhelm scream!!!! YES BILL

- "I don't understandwhy you're leaving me" "you have too many dogs." With the visual gag of all the dogs chasing Cousineau in the background 🤣 (counted over 20 btw)

- "little girl" dude she's literally a grown ass adult

- crazy homeless man

- does he think he's dead? Omg the dog

- OMG BARRY'S THERE "we both committed a little too hard " omg omg so good omg scary 😭 scary smart and hot 🥵👌

- the seat pat!! I am delighted every second of this show

- "can you say it?" 😫 he is so broken omg that is terrifying

- *IMMEDIATELY RESTARTS EPISODE*

- "I swear on Janice's soul not to say a word to anyone".. and then he does!?!? to literally the first person he sees!!! Did she mean nothing to you? Wow

[mysynthfetish]

KORRRRRRRRRRRRG

Aloha, my invisible internet friends. The weather can't decide if it's damn well spring or not here in central west Japan, the cherry blossoms have come and gone and yet today and yesterday we had rain and now it's wintry chilly out there. Feic. Or is it Feck? I love how the Irish use this one. Seems like the actual F word is a no-no but either of the aforementioned is OK. I love it! Anyway... On with the show.

Wanna talk about CRYPTIC?! Jesus fucking christ on a motorized 4WD pogo stick with turbo and a Yoshimura exhaust system. I recently saw a video done by AudioPilz about the S3 being a "Drum Machine Mystery" and thought "Heh, really?" Found one for $45 on the auction and said yeah Let's see about this. Boy, was he NOT kidding at all about this thing. Damn near need a fucking Doctorate in codebreaking to figure out how this thing fucking works. The premise seems simple enough: two timbres can be combined to make a sound that you assign to a drum pad in a kit. You can build kits, then make patterns and even songs, and it has an internal effects processor and a shit-ton of outputs. As well as an 8 track sequencer. What the fuck Korg was thinking with this thing, who the hell knows. It's fucking HARD AS HELL to use and people who give up easily will probably throw this fucking HUGE bastard of a machine straight out the window in no time at all. It's taken me literally a week and a bit to actually figure out what the manual is trying to get across regarding how you edit a timbre, and that stays edited, then you go into the kit part and fiddle with the timbres assigned to a pad, and then go about editing all the pads to build a kit. Talk about time consuming?! Jesus fucking christ. BUT. If you do take the time to get your head around this thing, you will be rewarded with drum sounds the likes of which NOBODY else is using, period. And in a world where every fucking person is a goddam bedroom producer nowadays, well, originality has to come in somewhere. I'll probably not have the patience to actually write patterns or put together songs on the thing, and will end up sampling the sounds I make into the MPC, but there you go. Probably not as flexible synth-muscle-wise as a Kawai XD-5, but again, pretty damn powerful in its own right. I can't begin to tell you how much headache medicine I downed because of this thing though. I should probably buy stock in Excedrin. For real, I even made a cheat sheet:

Right? Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck... But I'm slowly working my head around this thing. Definitely one of the most difficult machines I've ever tried to use. Aaaargh. Oof. Grrrrrr. Feck.

The other recent addition. Blue LCD, blue LEDs, new backup battery, fully working order, $248 on the auction, yeah ok let's just get it over with. I have an O3 with the RE1 editor already. But the O1 does wave shaping. So... It was cheap enough, and I'll be able to sell the O3 and RE1 to make up the difference and maybe then some. I can't t believe that the synths I saw and drooled over when I was in my early 20s are now things I actually have in my possession. And at a 10th of the cost. Oh how times have been kind. But then again I see on Reverb people are buying Alpha Juno 2s for like nearly $800 a piece back in the US. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!?!?! Are you people fucking crazy? $800 for an AJ2?! Shame on you! A friend in California put it like this. US wealth inequality is at an all-time high, and there are more younger people now with more money than we'll ever have. They lack an authentic self, but they can afford ours. Maybe that's exactly the fucking deal. Makes me wanna punch holes in the empty heads of these vapid young synth consumers. What a fucking travesty. Venture Crapitalism shall be the end of us all. If the 'Rona don't do us in first.

Anyway... The O1/W is a beauty. Right there alongside the SY77 for beautiful evolving digital ethereal pads and crazy ass sounds. The JV-2080 ain't too far off that track either. Now I just have to get inspired again and start producing. It's the beginning of the school year here in Japan so it's an extra busy, extra stressful time. I've been downing about a glass and a half of Irish whiskey every night before bedtime. Oof. Lovely stuff though. Maybe not the best of ideas though. Well me pals, I hope the best to you. See you next time.