#idk. there's so many people following me but my stuff barely gets any notes. so it doesn't feel worth it

[trans-axolotl]

I'm a psych survivor & want to find community in general or join conversations on here but it seems like no one really cares what I have to say & a lot of the conversations on here about mad liberation etc. are so academic that I feel alienated & shut out by them, and afraid of being talked down to & made fun of, even though I was (barely) able to master's degree and thought I was fairly intelligent. it seems like the academics mainly want to talk amongst themselves. idk. it's like the more I try to connect the worse I feel. I guess you probably don't have an answer to this but I appreciate your blog & how accessible your writing is

💜💜💜anon i think you have SUCH an important point. for me, the most meaningful mad community that i've found has always been when I've been institutionalized and just talking with other mad people, where most of them don't have any experience with mad liberation politics or antipsychiatry or any of that vocabulary. But like--time and time again those are the people who just get it the most, and are some of the most insightful people I've met. And I know that if some of my psych survivor friends came on tumblr, I think they would be judged for not having the "right" language or not communicating clearly enough or whatever. Which makes me so fucking mad, especially considering how many of us are disabled in ways that impact our communication, processing, and language. and how to me, it feels like such an important value of mad liberation to celebrate different styles of communication and all the different ways we're going to show up and exist as mad people! I'm sorry that you haven't been able to find a lot of welcoming community on tumblr--I know how exhausting and isolating it feels to not be able to connect with the people that are Supposed to actually understand and support you.

and it's not that I hate academic stuff about madness--I'm currently at university studying disability studies and really appreciate disability scholars. I think it's super fucking important + there's a lot of really talented people doing cool work. But I think that especially in disability studies, there needs to be a LOT more of an effort put in to actually make research + writing accessible. If half our community can't access any of the writing about our community, that's fucked up, you know? I'm always getting into arguments at university lmao when I talk about how we should do more to translate academic work into plain language. especially since i think it's a form of injustice when we are kept away from resources and knowledge that would let us build a political understanding of our experiences. it just feels super important to me to think about accessibility and what that means in mad spaces and psych survivor spaces, and who feels welcome to participate in our spaces and who feels left out of them.

and i also don't really have answers or solutions for How to Make That Happen on Tumblr--if you or any followers have any suggestions i would def love to hear them. i know that a lot of people are going to come on tumblr to do a lot of different things and that some people see this mostly as an academic space for them, where some people just come on here to talk or create art or a million different things.

For me, I use tumblr as a space where I want to talk and connect with a lot of people about all kinds of topics and hear psych survivors opinions on a ton of stuff. a lot of my posts are pretty casual, but when i make longer educational and political posts i spend a lot of time thinking about the best ways to translate really academic concepts to a wider audience. when i sit down to write out a long post i try to incorporate as many accessibility features as possible like using bullet points, putting in summaries/ Tl;DR sections at ends of posts, adding in real life examples when I'm defining complicated technical concepts, adding content notes, and more. Before I post, I read through my posts and highlight every time I use a more academic or technical term. Then, I think through whether that vocab is necessary for people to understand the post, or if there's better language I could replace it with. A lot of times I do end up keeping in some technical terms in my posts because it is honestly the most direct way to explain some of the stuff I want to talk about, but it's been super valuable for me to go through and really think about it, even when some terms stay in my writing. that's just my process and what works for me and I really don't think that other people need to write the same way I do lmao, but if anyone ever wants to talk about writing in plain language & easy read PLEASE come into my inbox bc i love talking about this and want to chat about it with more people.

other things i'll say is that i've found that virtual/in person psych survivor/antipsych support groups are often times a lot more welcoming and accessible and are just like, people talking about things and hanging out together. I've heard really good things about Wildflower Alliance's support groups, and also recommend the Hearing Voices Network. Project LETS has been running an exceptional psychiatric survivor support group for almost a year that is more casual and is a really great community, I'm hoping that they're going to open up availability again in the spring so that might also be worth checking out in the next couple months. Campaign for Psych Abolition in the UK runs a mad art space that seems super fun. i wish there were a lot more existing groups cause it sucks how few things there are tbh.

anyway, know that you + anyone else are always welcome to chat in my inbox or on any of my posts and you will not face any judgement from me. i genuinely love talking to other psych survivors so much and want to hear what people have to say. the only people i get annoyed at on my posts are psych students and other mental health professionals who leave really bullshit stuff on there lmfao.

sending you all the solidarity, anon <3

[pomefioredove]

Hi congrats on 500 followers!!! Love your writing

Thanks for doing this interesting event and this is my first time joining one, so I'm not sure if I'm doing something right lol

I'm just going to write how I know people describe me for personality and how I'm like. And no first years pls

My personality most people describe as hot and cold in a way while also being very loving and supportive, as in I'm very quick at changing moods like a filp of a switch. I care far too much and try to help others (be it family or strangers) and was called very soft for it if not for my alter ego, a split personality of mine that is fairly aggressive to others and is very protective of me. (something, something because of ptsd, autism and a complete mindbreak in the words of my doctor)

Considered a bit obsessive and protective of people I really care for/love like my siblings for example as I'm very willing to throw hands whenever harm comes to them

Eldest of 7 siblings and is like lilia specialising in babysitting, would occasionally go full mother hen Mode and fuss on people. Was raised as a guy for the first 7 years of life.. So considers myself gender fluid leaning feminine (afab)

I'm fairly tall at 5'8 and slender, long knee length black hair that is straighter than my sexuality and gender. not really beautiful even though even though my true name translates to lady brilliant beauty (more of a title than a name lol)

My interest is in the arts and history (mainly in fashion and architecture, don't ever ask me about war cus idk), I've picked up pretty much every single art skill like pokemon cards like for example : embroidery, sewing, painting, sculpting, cetak fabric and dyeing it(draw designs on fabric with hot wax, and proceed to dye it with a paintbrush, a really old traditional art) , drawing, singing, dancing, lace making, soap making, and other DIY stuff

My hobbies are reading, sewing, embroidery, bird watching, dancing, cooking, gardening, and baking. I work mainly as a tailor and sew custom clothes for daily wear and special occasions.

My lifestyle is pretty simple as I don't go out a lot and barely interact with people other than family and clients, tho I mainly stay home as my studio is just at home so I don't go outside much but I still do found fun going out once a week and doing various of activities. I'm still completing my training to be a full flege tailor at a local trade college.

I'm very lazy and gets tired easily, so you can found me falling asleep any time anywhere like silver. Tho social interactions and anxiety drains me the most and is the main culprit on making me fell asleep randomly. I don't really indulge myself other than DIY projects, stuff like games and makeup somewhat bores me and food doesn't really have my interest even though I found so much fun baking and cooking. but I still do it on occasion and do enjoy trying out new games, makeup techniques and recipes. I'm more disciplined on my time and follow my personal rules and laws to a t. tho my schedule is still sporadic, I timed everything I do daily and at most would spend 2 hours a day on gaming and movie watching..

That's all I can think from the top of my head currently, if it's too much pressure or if you don't feel comfortable for any reason, I don't mind if you delete this instead, have a nice day!!

I match you with 𝐕𝐢𝐥 𝐒𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐞𝐧𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐭

The First Impression:

...Admittedly, I am very drawn by the tailor thing. We've heard a million renditions of Vil and the manager, the co-star, the makeup artist, etc, but tailor is new and adds a whole different dynamic, IMO.

You exist completely outside of Vil's high-stress world, and he finds that quite charming. You're not a model, not an actor, not even a petty famous designer (who refuses to take any of his notes, SMH). But Vil cares far more about skill than status, and so, you immediately catch his eye.

Why He Fell:

There are as many differences as there are similarities, those of which Vil learns to adapt to (though, he really wishes you'd stop calling yourself lazy and not beautiful, when that's obviously not true). And despite your tendency to stay in your comfort zone, he comes to understand that you're open to trying new things, which is probably one of his favorite things about a person. (He takes a lot of pride in teaching you new makeup techniques).

You're responsible, you have goals, you focus on refining your skills... he sees a lot of himself in you, in all the best ways, and he's somewhat relieved by how mature and intelligent you are. He's absolutely enamored with your technical skills, as well, especially in sewing- he might even find himself coming to you for advice.

The Relationship:

You and Vil experience love in all its forms in a very similar way. You're passionate, protective of your loved ones, and deeply caring despite everything. Your shared "motherly" traits balance each other perfectly, and makes your relationship very equal in all ways... just as long as you'll let him pamper you every once in a while.

[icedmetaltea]

Talking about stuff

Really contemplating leaving tumblr for another site in the near future... does anyone know a good substitute? Like, on one hand I love this site, but on the other hand man. I've been getting way less notes lately. I can't help but feel like it's my fault, that either I've been posting too much and am annoying people or my art/writing has gotten worse. Same issue with ao3 so leaning on the latter possibility.

I know it's selfish, but it's not like I'm the only one who feels this way. Lots of artists and writers have been complaining about the discrepancy between likes/reblogs. No matter how many followers I've gotten over the years, the success of any piece of art/writing will depend on who reblogs it and when, and how many reblogs it gets in general. If it doesn't get enough it quickly gets swept under the rug like it never existed.

A single piece of art or writing can equate to many hours of work on my part, and if it's barely seen it's like... why bother.

I know it's selfish, I know there are still people who reblog and comment and everything, and truly I appreciate it, more than anyone could ever know.

But I also just feel like an annoying failure who never stops talking and that people would prefer if I was gone. So they can look forward to seeing stuff from the real artists, the real writers, the people who actually have talent.

I want to be someone people see and are able to feel happier as a result... right now I just feel like a burden to not only everyone in my life (hence why I've been distracting myself by drowning myself in art lately) but also you guys.

I know I'm not just a source of entertainment, I know I shouldn't care so damned much about what others think, and again I know I sound really fucking selfish to worry about all this, but it's been eating at me so much lately.

So I see a couple options.

Take time away and let the water run clear so to speak then abuse the fuck out of the queue so I stop mass reblogging (a nasty habit of mine, surely annoying to many)

Move to a different site, if there are any where I won't feel like such a speck. Idk. Maybe I'll feel like that everywhere.

I guess I could rectify that side blog idea I had a while back so asks, headcanons, doodles, non-fnaf posts and whatnot, just keep this up for main art/writing. Kinda leaning toward that rn. Less spam, less annoyance.

Just disappear for good. Delete it all. It's been a thought in the back of my head for a long time anyway. Start new somewhere else. Or just draw/write for myself. I also don't want to make any rash choices atm cause I know the past 3 months have been hell and I'm not thinking clearly. I've been depressed as fuck and I may regret choices I make right now. But what if I don't? Maybe I'll be better for it idk

[chubbydino]

I stumbled upon fool’s gold when I was looking up brocedes fic (yes in 2024 i know) and omg was I drawn you with your amazing writing. On my way to order your novel!

I wanted to know if you had any tips for new writers trying to plan their novel, keeping track of storylines and ways for improve their writing?

thank you! i really appreciate it.

my advice under the cut

for commercial novels, i'm definitely not the one to ask, as i'm still very much a newbie when it comes to self-publishing. i will say commercial fiction and fanfiction are completely different beasts. if you're a new writer, i would try fanfiction first to see where you stand, so to speak. commercial novels are very hard to sell without a fanbase unless you really know what you're doing, and even after publishing (almost) 3 books in a year, i still barely know what i'm doing.

fanfic lets you write what you want, and you can tell almost immediately if its resonating or not because the readers are already there. word gets around quick in fanfic spaces. if it doesn't do well, you have to figure out why. my older fics have terrible grammar and punctuation mistakes that would never fly in a real novel. sometimes i made up for it with a good enough story that people could ignore those things (Horsepower, for example lol) but it wasn't until i really started focusing on learning that it started coming together. i still have problems with commas and semicolons LOL. once you get that down and pair it with a good story, the magic happens!

i will say that finishing what you start is absolutely necessary. i used to get stuck at 30k words. now i can write that in 2 weeks or less. it's important as a writer that you deliver on your promises to finish what you start. for fanfic it's more okay to abandon something, but you will burn fans. i have 3 fics i'll never finish, 2 no one really read in the first place but 1 was on track to be my most popular fic ever and i just...didn't write anymore because of life. nowadays i'll shorten the story and finish it before abandoning it.

yes, fanfic is about having fun etc, but i take it seriously, especially when people are depending on me to create for them. while you don't make money on fanfic, you get what every business pays a shit ton of money to have: people engaged in your content/you. the readers here on tumblr, ao3, and in the discord server make writing fun for me. i'm very lucky that many of those people have also followed me into novel writing by joining my patreon and buying my books as well. if i only finished half of the books i started, i doubt those people would stick around, no matter how much they like my writing haha. i don't write for myself, i write to share stories with those fans.

as for planning, i'm also not really the person to ask haha. for fool's gold i just scribbled down sparknotes of race weekends and wove the plot into them. my best fics maybe had an ending in mind early on (HLS) or a premise i wanted to explore (for PAPM, a amnesia fic where the MC never gets his memories back but there's still a story). a lot of it is intuitive, but i'm still learning. for my professional writing i loosely go off the 3-Act breakdown and Save The Cat! but i only started doing that in the past year or so.

In fic writing, you're forced to work with what you've already written and make it work. In professional writing, you better be ready to hack it to pieces and rewrite the whole thing (Redline lol) to make it better, and people will still not like it. like, people are mad at me for how i ended Short Shift because they think I'm going to tropify it lol.

i see all my stories as movies in my head, so i rarely have to dig into my notes to see what actually happened because i "saw" it happen. idk how to explain it. for FG i wrote most of it without flipping back through. i do forget stuff, but for fanfic it's usually fine. for professional writing, i have beta readers checking that everything makes sense.

in short, just write. soooo many people i know want to write a book and then spend months planning, planning, planning, and never write it. my first attempt at a novel is 85k words and took over a year to write and will never see the light of day. meanwhile wheelspin is 106k words and i wrote it in 3ish months.

there are a lot of shitty books out there making careers for people. as long as you have a good story and a good editor (or knwo how ot edit yourself), you can do a lot and learn as you go. but just keep in mind that self-publishing is like 40% writing and 60% business. i spent 6 months taking free classes on self publishing before Redline debuted just to be able to do the basics. it's a steep learning curve, but worth it when you can hold your own book in your hands. :)

[catinfroghat]

Starfield is getting a bit annoying to finish at this point because I'd had no trouble with the side quests but now I'm doing the main quest line there's so many bugs that stop my progress and I have to work out how to fix before continuing... I feel like it's a game that I will maybe come back to in a few years and enjoy it a lot more with mods and patches and tbh for the most part it is fun just too repetitive after a while and still annoyingly buggy. But I sometimes think maybe it's because I'm playing it start to finish whereas a game like Skyrim I love but I just dip in and out of so I don't get so bored with the repetition. But also in Skyrim every single cave is individually designed so it does feel a bit more varied whereas Starfield is procedurally generated so after a while you see the exact same copied and pasted building with the exact same loot and enemies spawning in the exact same places with the exact same notes left behind to tell the story of what happened there which is so boring I just end up avoiding exploring because it pisses me off to see the same layout all the time... I also agree with some of the criticisms that the game is very sterile like compared to fallout where there's limbs being blown off and weird stuff and grime Starfield barely even has blood which I'm not saying I would have liked it to be a gore fest or anything but like even the "pleasure planet" where people say it isn't safe and there's drugs etc. it's like you go to the seedy clubs and they have the vibe of a school cafeteria and no one tries to rob you or anything and even the pirates are mostly just rude but reasonable people and these are things that a patch won't really fix because it's ingrained in the writing idk I still really enjoyed most of the side quests like the Terromorph quest line is probably one of the best quests I've played in any game ever to the point where I wish that had been the main quest instead of having to go to loads of identical temples and float around trying to catch magical lights for ages which is just a pain after the first 2. Plus I think it's kind of cruel for the game to kill off one of your closest companions (You get the choice of 2 and it's the 2 that you have spent the most time with/have the highest affinity with) because then you might end up with characters you like less for example the game made me choose between andreja (my wife) and barratt (my favourite character) so now I just have Barratt from the companions that I don't mind having as followers which means less variety (I don't use Sarah or Sam because they both nag at me too much I end up wasting ammo shooting them to get them to shut up) and it's making me want the end of the game to come sooner because I miss having andreja around

[ufolane]

i've seen a lot of different takes on swapfell/fellswap sans's eye, so here's my go at it!

[myheelsdontmatchmysweatpants]

A/N: I would like to preface this by letting everyone know that I am in no way knowledgeable about actual science things. That being said I am amazed that in a random draw I actually managed to get a prompt that had to do with flowers lol. This is my contribution to the BakuHarem Collab! Please take a second to check out the other contributions here!

Warning: bad science, no protection, swearing, overs!mulation, accidental exhibti0som, intoxicated smut? idk sex pollen is a drug i guess.....

W/C: 3.5k

“Bakugou, dude. We should not-”

“Shut up Kirishima!” Bakugou walks through the sterile hallways checking every corner for signs of other people. “That bitch took my top spot with some bullshit flowers?!” He finally gets to the lab that was granted to you for your research. After winning first place, stealing first place in the UA university science expo. He walks into the observing lobby, looking through the large window to make sure you weren’t working in the lab after hours.

“Just keep quiet and listen for any one coming this way.” He walks over to the security door and holds his key card up to it, the light on the scanner turns green and he hears the dead bolt slide open.

Kirishima is lingering behind him, hovering in the doorway. He turns to Bakugou to talk him out of this again but his friend has already entered the lab. “Ahh geez.” He didn’t even wear any safety gear.

As the door clicks shut behind him, Bakugou stops to examine the lab. Several different species of flowers in full bloom behind temperature controlled enclosures. Some of them are recognizable; lavender, chamomile, and jasmine. “I thought it would smell like the perfume department, this fuckin place smells like heaven.” Guess it wasn’t a new shampoo she was using then.

He walks through the aisles turning his head this way and that, trying to find something, anything that he can fuck up without it being overtly obvious. He gets to the back corner of the lab and sees a piece of familiar equipment. “Perfect.”

*****

“He said WHAT?!”

Your roommate flinches at your reaction to her news. “He told Professor Aizawa that your ‘Viagra flowers’ are a joke to the science department and they should ‘wither and die’.”

You’re fuming. That fuck tard Bakugou, mister my shit don’t stink is ridiculing my research? “All that man knows is how to blow shit up! Just cause I beat him in the expo this year, he thinks my research is a joke?!” You stand up from the couch, pacing in front of it and you can’t decide whether to scream or cry. “Why did I ever like that twat?”

Cause he has wide shoulders, big hands and scarlet eyes that -

“Oh for the love of god shut up.” Screw your inner thoughts.

Ochako watches you pace, worrying in her eyes when yours line with silver and your neck flushes bright red. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have told you that.”

You stop moving and look at her, guilt flooding through you as she slumps forward. “Don’t apologize, I was talkin to myself babe.” She nods her head weakly and you stand up straight “I’m gonna go.” You walk to the door grabbing your coat and key card.

“W-where are you going?” Ochako follows you to the door and grabs your wrist gently. You turn to her and smile, she was always so sweet but you knew that if shit went down she would be right beside you, kicking ass.

“I need to blow off some steam, so I’m gonna go check on my ‘Viagra flowers’.” She huffs a laugh and let's go.

“Alright, don’t stay too late.”

You nod, put on your shoes and leave the dorm. It’s a bit of a walk to the building the lab is in and hopefully the cool breeze will calm your mind.

*****

As you walk into the building you are grateful that your professor is more of a night owl than most students. Considering how many naps he takes during lectures it is no wonder he can’t sleep at night. You contemplate going to his office to say hi but think better of it.

Don’t wanna end up venting about Bakugou to my professor of all people.

You walk down the hallway and notice the door to your lab is cracked. Not unusual, a lot of students from your class have been coming and going to see the different species of flowers and plants you are growing. Assuming someone didn’t shut the door behind them you take your phone out of your pocket to check the time. Out of the corner of your vision a quick flash of red and you walk right into Kirishima, Bakugou’s friend and one of your classmates.

“Hey! How- how's it goin?”

You take a step back, rubbing your nose from face planting into his giant chest. Does this guy eat boulders for breakfast? “Hey Kiri! Just gonna do some late night tests! You checkin out my garden?”

“Yeah! Flowers are pretty.” He laughs, it’s high pitched and obviously forced.

You take in his nervous appearance, the fact that he is still standing in front of the door and your mood sours.

“Where is he?”

Kirishima looks like he is gonna try and stall but one look at the fury in your eyes and his head hangs down. “He’s in the lab,” you rush past him and punch in the code to open the door. “I tried to talk him out of it!”

The door clicks shut and the spiky blonde huffs in annoyance somewhere in the back of the lab.

“I told you shitty hair, if you’re gonna keep a look out you have to stand outside.”

You clear your throat and his head shoots up. You walk over to him, taking note of all of the plants and equipment, taking note of anything that looks different. As you get closer to him you notice that he smells particularly good tonight.

Keep it in your pants idiot

“Really Bakugou?” You stop a few steps away from him, noticing the various disassembled parts on the counter top behind him. “What were you gonna do, break my extraction equipment and make it look like a malfunction? Are you a B-Movie villain?”

He stands up and you are reminded of how small you feel next to him, wide shoulders, arms barely fitting the t-shirt he was wearing, strong chest that tapers to a toned waist. He laughs and you look at his face. What I wouldn’t give to just lick from your navel to your neck.

“A B-Movie villain huh? That’s rich coming from the fanfiction cliché scientist.” He crosses his arms, your eyes quickly dart to the sight of his biceps flexing with the movement then back at him.

“Fanfiction cliché? What the actual fuck are you talking about?” You take another step towards him, softly inhaling his scent. Why does he smell so good?

He laughs at you again, the sound caresses your skin and you realize your feeling very, very hot. You drag your fingers through your hair, your eyes zeroing in on a bead of sweat running down the side of his face. When you lick your lips and shift to take another step closer a small part of your brain connects the dots. “What. Did. You. Do?”

Bakugou looks at you, noticing your flushed cheeks and eyes that show you aren’t quite your normal smart and sexy self. Reaching behind himself you hear the unmistakable sound of clinking glass, he grabs a beaker, an open beaker. “Just grabbed this from your equipment, I know how long it takes to extract this stuff. Would suck if it were to suddenly go missing.”

“You idiot! Do you know how potent it is in that form?!” You reach for it but he pulls the beaker out of your reach. “Why do you think I keep it enclosed? You have to close it up now!”

“Why should I?”

Honestly how stupid can this guy get?!

“Put it back in the enclosure first and I’ll explain it to you!” Your breathing is getting heavy, the closer you get to Bakugou the hotter your body feels. You lunge for him again and trip, he hurries to put the beaker on the table behind him and catch you. Put off balance from the position you both crash to the floor with him underneath you. Sighing in frustration you lift yourself up only to bump your head on the table, knocking over the beaker and spilling the extract over you both.

“Shit!” You scramble off of him and run to the door, pressing the exposure button and effectively locking it. You turn to Bakugou and back up trying your best to keep your distance. “Stay on that side of the room, if we’re far enough apart the effects won’t be as bad.”

“What are the effects?” The question is spoken so calmly that you almost convince yourself he didn’t speak at all.

“What are the fucking side effects!?” His shirt is soaked, sticking to his tanned skin. The outline of his chiseled body makes your mouth go dry. You look back at his face, his mouth twisted in frustration at your silence but no less attractive. The sharp angle of his jawline, pink lips slightly chapped, aristocratic nose, scarlet eyes that-

“Take a picture, it'll last longer.” Shaking your head to clear some of the fog in your brain, you focus on him again.

“It’s an aphrodisiac so obviously it enhances sexual desire.”

“Yeah-yeah, sex pollen I get it. But what else?” he rings out the bottom of his shirt, lifting it slightly and you avert your eyes.

“It is not sex pollen, I don’t even use the pollen of the plant.” the last part coming out in a mumble. “The aphrodisiac only works on people who are consenting adults that are attracted to each other.” You clear your throat.

Bakugou freezes for a moment and looks up at you, examining you. The flushed skin, short breaths, and how you keep as much distance between the two of you as the small lab provides.

“So why are you so far away then?” The smirk on his face is sinful as all hell.

Cheeky bastard.

“Surely I don’t have to spell it out for you.” Resisting the urge to turn your face away from him like a pouty child..

“HA!” The smug look on his face momentarily lifts the cloud of lust and replaces it with anger. “Of course you’re attracted to me, who wouldn’t be?”

“Well, aren't you a cocky bastard?” Hoping you're not about to embarrass yourself you take a chance and muster up some courage. Slowly walking up to him you notice that his forehead is glistening with sweat, his breathing heavy, ears and back of his neck flushed with pink. “Tell me, Katsuki. How are you feeling?”

A few steps and you can see his hands balled up in white knuckled fists, a few more his jaw clench and unclench. Once you are only an arms length away you can see him swallow harshly, Adam's apple bobbing, nostrils flaring. You push your breasts against his toned chest, the light friction causing a moan to escape your mouth, the sound going straight to his cock.

“I’m - I’m fine.” Bakugou clears his throat, the sound of his first name from your lips sweeter than it should be.

“Lookin a little flushed, you feeling hot?”

He doesn’t answer, his attention captured by the closeness of your body, your lips, the tops of your breasts peeking out of the v neck top you’re wearing.. He stops breathing when your tongue flicks out to lick your bottom lip.

“Cat got your tongue?”

On impulse his hands move to rest on your hips, eyes never leaving your lips. “What was the question again?”

“How. Are. You. Feeling.” you walk your fingers up his chest with each word before pulling his head down so you can whisper in his ear, the anger fading fast. “Katsuki.” You hear him growl, the sound reverberating through your core, then you're being picked up.

“I’m gonna ruin you.” Bakugou crashes his lips to yours, pressing you up against one of the walls and bracing you with one hand so that the other can wrap around your throat. “Fuck, you drive me crazy.” He bites your lip, licking it to soothe the hurt. “Smart, funny, sexy, beautiful.”

You whine at the words and grind against the bulge in his pants, your pussy throbbing with need. “Need to feel you touch me Bakugou.” He stops moving and you shift to try and grind against him again but he holds you tight, slightly squeezing the sides of your neck.

“What happened to calling me by my first name, baby girl?” Loosening his hand and crouching down as if to put you down you sputter out “Kat-Katsuki Please touch me.”

The feral grin on his face has your pussy drooling and you all but sigh in relief when he stands up straight and slips a hand under your shirt, cupping one of your breasts. “Oh god yes.”

“You’re so soft baby,” he pulls one of the cups down and rolls your nipple in between his fingers. “Take off your shirt, wanna see those pretty tits.”

Katsuki keeps playing with your nipple when you rip your shirt off, making short work of your bra and tossing it. As soon as the other nipple is in view he dives down to suckle it, his mouth hot. You throw your head back, grabbing fistfuls of his hair and pushing your chest out to give him better access.

He is merciless in his teasing, alternating between breasts, making sure to suck each nipple till they are both hard peaks. Kissing the top of your soft globes, your collarbone and neck, everywhere his mouth goes is left with a mark in varying shades of red and purple.

You grow impatient with him, needing to make him feel as good wanting to feel him with your hands, mouth, teeth.

“Wanna feel you too Katsuki.” you whine as he pinches one nipple while nibbling the other one. When you pull on his hair a little he groans but lifts his head, pulling both nipples with him before letting them go.

“What do ya wanna feel, baby girl?”

With all your inhibitions throw out the window you lean down and whisper in his ear. “Wanna feel you fuck me.”

You pull away and he quickly sets you down, you’re about to object when he takes his shirt off in one smooth motion then starts unbuttoning his jeans. You rush to follow, unzipping your pants and pulling them down, before you can pull down your panties he grabs your hand stopping you. “Leave ‘m on.”

Katsuki picks you up again before you can get a good look at his cock, but when it's pressed against you there is no need to see it. “Fuck you’re huge.”

He smirks at you, smug pride in his eyes. “Glad you approve.” Reaching a hand down he pulls your panties to the side and runs his fingers through your wet folds. “This all for me?” bringing his fingers up to show you the slick dripping down them he puts them in his mouth and sucks. “Gonna have to enjoy that tasty treat later.”

Your body is burning up, breathing is heavy as you both watch him drag his cock along your wet slit before pushing in. Your moans echo in the lab and neither one of you cares as Katsuki's cock drags against your inner walls until bottoming out. Right now is not the time for slow strokes, not with the aphrodisiac flowing through both of your bodies, so he starts a pace that has your ass slapping against his thighs.

“C-cumming!” You scream out before your body bows in on itself and you're creaming around his cock.

“Already?” a sideways grin on his face Katsuki starts moving you up and down in time with his thrusts, his cock reaching that much deeper. “Gonna cum for me again? Come on baby, wanna feel you milk my cock.”

Your mind is going blank, the only thing running through it is Katsuki. “Please don’t stop,” you dig your nails into his shoulders. “M Gonna cum again.” His thrusts go shallow and the head of his cock drags against your walls, hitting all the right spots.

You’re repeating his name endlessly, the only word that is in your mind then you’re cumming again. Your legs tense around his waist and your pussy clenches down hard enough that he has to stop moving or risk hurting you. He watches your face contorted in pleasure and starts thrusting as soon as he feels your orgasm subside.

“One more.”

Your head fuzzy, body limp from two orgasms. “I can’t!”

“Wrong,” Katsuki pulls out for a second, setting you on the floor and pushing on your back. You obediently bend forward grabbing the edge of the counter top and he wastes no time in rutting back into you. “You want me to stop?”

“NO”

“Then you got one more beautiful thing.” He sticks two fingers in his mouth, getting them wet then reaches around rubbing soft circles on your puffy clit. His other hand gripping your hip, before moving up and grabbing your shoulder using it as leverage to fuck into you harder.

“Come on, cum for me.”

You turn your head to the side trying your best to look in his eyes, yours tearing up at the overstimulation. “You cum too, fill me up Katsuki.”

“Oh fuck yeah.” Bending his knees he thrusts up into you and with the new angle, teasing circles being rubbed on your clit and the feral moans coming out of his mouth you cum one last time.

Fuckfuckfuckfuck

Katsuki cums after you, rope after rope of cum coating your fluttering walls.

You both stand there catching your breath. Katsuki pulls out and you whimper, “Oh don’t worry beautiful,” he picks you up again, walks over to a chair and sits down with you in his lap “not done with you yet.”

By the time you are spent both of you are exhausted and lost track of how many times either of you came. He helps you stand up, quickly pulling your panties back in place. “Don’t want you leakin.”

You giggle and pick up your clothes from the floor, he helps you get dressed and you both walk to the door. Making sure to check the air quality before leaving the lab you confirm that nothing is left in the air and unlock it. Before opening the door you turn to him opening your mouth to ask a question but he talks first.

“Let's go back to my room, yeah? I’ll help you clean up.” His voice rough from moaning and growling but you can see a small smile on his lips. Even though you know that the effects of the extract have worn off you can’t help but worry that he is still under their influence. Nodding your head you turn away from him again and open the door, walking into the lobby.

“I assume you're finished with the lab?”

You stop dead in your tracks, Katsuki bumping into you. “P-professor Aizawa?” Red hair peeks out behind him and Kirishima looks at you both with a nervous sharp toothed smile and red face. The fog of your memory clears and you vaguely remember hearing knocking on the window and door while you were… indisposed.

Katsuki steps in front of you, from the lack of red on his face or neck you know he isn’t nearly as mortified as you. “How long have you been standing there?”

The tired eyes of your teacher examine both of you. “Long enough.” He sighs heavily and pinches the bridge of his nose. “You are both to meet me in my office tomorrow morning.”

And just before you can’t get anymore embarrassed he walks out and says over his shoulder. “The labs aren’t sound proof, and these walls echo.”

@doinmybesthere @patchworkpuzzle @eyebagsbutglam @sugarspiceanddynamight

[helnjk]

Stitching Together - G.W.

George Weasley x fem!reader 

Requested: yes !! by my lovely bean marissa @lumos-barnes

please accept my humble request for a george x reader where the reader owns a shop in diagon alley and one day they walk into WWW and george knocks over a whole display, he is a complete SIMP & cannot compose himself. complete buffoonery when the reader is near. they become friends & do all these nice things for each other and the reader is oblivious like "george, i'm so lucky to be your friend" (even though the reader is secretly simping) and he's like "um what, i'm literally in love with you"

Word count: 3.1k

Warnings: mentions of meals and drinks (coffee), but other than that it’s just pure fluff & Dumb Idiots In Love

A/N: somehow i always end up writing george knitting? idk how it happened, but it happened. i hope you like it marissa 🥺💕

–

You took a step back to admire your handiwork. 

After what seemed like neverending hours, the layout of your shop was finally perfect. From where you stood, you had a view of the streets of Diagon Alley, several passersby coming and goings from your sight. The display of charmed knit work by the window was already moving, demonstrating simple stitches that formed into a scarf. 

It had always been your dream to open up your own shop in the most prominent wizarding area of Britain, with your passion for knitting and crafting, but the timing had always been off. Now, about a year or so since the war had ended, your grandmother surprised you with the capital to make your dreams come true. 

The gesture was extra special because she was the one who first taught you how to knit. Many summers were spent in her cottage, sitting side by side and working on personal projects together. 

Outside, your sign read ‘Stitching Together: Grand Opening’. There were a few flyers posted right on the door and on the window advertising the different classes and crafting groups you were offering, as well as the different products that could be found in your store. 

It was as if your heart could burst at the sight of your fully furnished shop and you could wait no longer. With a flick of your wand, the sign on the door flipped to say open and that was that. 

–

“Hey Freddie, have you seen that new shop that’s opened down the street?” George yelled from the bottom of the stairs once the last customer of the day made their leave. 

“Haven’t gone in, but it’s gotten a lot of customers from what I can tell!” the disembodied voice of his twin replied from somewhere above. 

As he began the process of cleaning up and reshelving, products floating in midair or zooming towards their proper shelves, he called out once more, “What type of store is it d’you reckon?” 

“Arts and crafts? Something like that.” 

George’s eyes drifted towards the shop window, where he could just barely see the outline of the new store. Dusk had begun to set in London, so the sky was filled with brilliant hues of purple and orange. His curiosity getting the better of him, he decided that he would go welcome the new shop owner to Diagon Alley. 

With a shout to let his twin know where he was off to, George strode out of Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes and into the brisk weather. Luckily for him, Stitching Together was still open. He could see you bustling around inside, fixing displays and swishing your wand to tidy everything up.

It had only been around a month since your shop had opened, but the local wizard folk of London seemed to be very keen on buying the different things you sold. Many came around to purchase the instructional books and the different kinds of wool and yarn, and some of your regulars had even taken an interest in the classes you held weekly. It was a great way for you to get to know the community and to establish friendships. 

You had always taken note of the joke shop a few shops down from you, but with the hustle and bustle of just opening, you hadn’t had a chance to visit or introduce yourself to the owners. It was just your luck that one half of them pushed open the door to your shop, the little bell at the top of it ringing to indicate his presence. 

“Oh, hello!” you smiled, turning to face the redheaded man, “Welcome to Stitching Together, what could I help you with?” 

Unbeknownst to George, your heart began to beat rapidly in your chest. How could a man be so positively handsome you didn’t know, but at the sight of him standing by the door, all you could think about was how gorgeous he was. And he hadn’t even uttered a single word yet! 

The charming smile he sent your way did not help the heat you could feel creeping up your neck. “Just popping by to say hello and welcome to Diagon Alley! My twin and I run Wheezes just down the street,” he said. 

Your smile grew as he stuck his hand out for you to shake, “Oh I was just thinking about how I’ve been wanting to pay your shop a visit! I’m Y/N, by the way.”

“George Weasley at your service,” his hand was firm and warm as he shook yours, eyes sparkling with something you couldn’t quite name. “Nice to meet you!” 

“So tell me about your shop!” 

Somehow, after that evening, George Weasley snuck his way into becoming a part of your daily routine.

Every morning he would show up with two cups of coffee in hand right before your shop was set to open. After realizing that you depended on caffeine to function throughout your day, he made it a point to bring you one everyday. As you sipped on your coffees, the two of you would spend a few minutes chatting about your plans for the day before going to work. 

Whenever you would offer to pay for your own cup or even try to insinuate that you could get your own coffee in the morning, just so that he wouldn’t have to go through the trouble, he would stop you in your tracks.

“But George–”

“Nope!” he would say in a voice louder than yours. “I’m doing this out of the kindness of my heart. I really feel for your customers who have to deal with a Y/N that hasn’t had her coffee fix. Could you imagine the grumpiness? Not on my watch!” 

You would roll your eyes, but secretly it warmed your heart how sweet this boy could be. He was slowly inching his way into your life and becoming a great friend. 

–

“So,” said Fred one day as George had gotten back from delivering your daily coffee, “The bird from the knitting shop, huh?” 

His twin only rolled his eyes in response, used to the teasing that came with being brothers (and twins) with Fred Weasley. Instead of engaging, George went instead to do the routine last check over their store before they officially opened their doors. Still, Fred couldn’t resist the temptation to continue provoking him. 

“Oi! C’mon, you bring her coffee everyday even if you don’t like the stuff. If I don’t remind you that you have a store to run, you would spend the whole day staring out the window just to catch a glimpse of the girl! Tell me you’re not whipped for her,” he teased, following George through the shop.

From their position at the till and on the second floor, both Verity and Lee tried to hide their smirks. This was too good a story to not eavesdrop on. 

“Come off it, Fred.” George rolled his eyes. “I’m just being a good friend, that’s all!” 

“Yeah but you wouldn’t mind being more than friends.” 

The cheeky wink Fred sent George was not appreciated, as the prior soon found out, having to duck away from a stinging hex. Still, Fred’s laugh rang through the semi-empty store as he ran away from his brother. 

Later in the day, as the lunch crowd tapered off, the four of them were left to mull around a bit. Lee and Verity were off taking stock in the back room, Fred was doing some accounting (because his twin couldn’t be trusted with any sort of math), and George was reshelving some Skiving Snackboxes. 

The bell above the door to the shop rang, but he couldn’t quite tell who came in from his position towards the back of the shop. 

“Welcome to Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes!” he yelled, rushing to get all the boxes in order before he could help the new customer, “I’ll be with you in just a second!” 

Just as he admired his handiwork, eyes scanning the display to make sure nothing was out of place, a familiar voice called from behind him, “It’s alright, take your time. I’m not looking for anything in particular.” 

George almost jumped out of his skin as he heard your voice. He was so surprised that as he turned to meet you, his elbow caught on the edge of one of the Snackboxes and the whole thing toppled over. 

You watched as the tower of boxes crumbled around him, and your hand automatically covered your mouth as you tried to contain your laughter. It didn’t work, though, and soon the whole store could hear your guffaws. 

Thankfully, George was a wizard, and what would’ve taken a muggle quite some time to fix, only took a quick flick of his wand. 

“Oops,” you smiled at him bashfully as he finished, “Didn’t mean to startle you, Weasley.”

“Erm, it-it’s alright,” he blushed, “I just didn’t expect you to come ‘round today.” 

In truth, the reason why George was so flustered at your appearance at his shop was because he had just spent most of the afternoon thinking about you. He often did that, getting lost in his thoughts about the many little things that made you, well, you. The deep breath you took before that first sip of coffee in the morning, revelling in the aroma. How your face lit up when you spoke about the different people you met in your classes. Your hands and how skillfully they worked whatever project you were creating at the moment. 

He wouldn’t admit it to Fred, but what his twin had said earlier in the day was accurate. He was absolutely smitten over you. 

“Well you’ve been a regular over at mine for the last couple of weeks, I’m just returning the favor and visiting my favorite redhead at his place of work!” 

“I-I,” he stuttered, his brain refusing to acknowledge the fact that he was your favorite anything. 

Fred, who had heard the commotion and had gone down to check if everything was okay, nearly face palmed as he watched George fumble through his words. The man was whipped for you, no doubt about it, and as a good twin, he decided to save his brother from further humiliation. 

“I think what my lovely twin here is trying to say, is that you just haven’t met enough redheads to make your decision about your favorite one,” he said, smoothly inserting himself into the conversation. “Fred Weasley, at your service!” 

Your smile immediately brightened at the sight of George’s twin holding out his hand for you to shake, “Nice to meet you! I’m Y/N, George’s told me loads about you!” 

“Has he?” Fred raised his eyebrow, turning to look at George who was still a little dumbstruck at the sight of you in his shop. “Well, that just means it’s my turn to spend some time with such a lovely lady. C’mon, I’ll give you a tour of the shop!”

“Oh I’d love that.” 

With a small glance and wave at George, you took the arm that Fred was holding out for you, and so began his (largely amusing) tour of Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes. 

“What in Merlin’s name was that!” yelled Fred the moment you left the shop. 

George groaned into his hands, embarrassment creeping back into him. He had acted a fool, unable to even mutter a single sentence to you the whole time you were around. 

“Mate, I have never seen you so flustered around a girl,” his twin muttered, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder, “Just tell her you’ve got feelings for her! Ask her on a date, do something! From what I could tell, you’re not the only one who’s caught feelings.” 

“It’s not like that between us,” he said, “I doubt she even notices how much I fancy her.” 

–

Somehow, George wound up taking Fred’s advice. Though, in typical-George fashion, he never explicitly mentioned to you anything about the way he felt. 

Instead, he would stay around your shop longer in the mornings, taking slower than usual sips of his coffee (which he still couldn’t say he preferred over a good cup of tea). Other days, he would come around closing time and help put everything back in order and if he was lucky, the two of you would go out to dinner. Of course, he would also never let you pay a sickle for your meal, no matter how much you insisted. 

Weekends were usually spent together as well. 

Saturdays were for brunch and muggle films on the telly. It was one of the rare occasions he would drink a beverage in front of you that wasn’t that (god forsaken) coffee. 

Sundays were more for crafting together. He would floo into your flat after having lunch with his family and the two of you would continue working on his little project. 

“My mum loves to knit,” he mentioned one day, while he observed your quick hands skillfully moving the thread through your needles. “She knits us all sweaters for Christmas. It’s become a tradition of sorts.” 

“That’s lovely,” you smiled up at him.

“Yeah, anyone who’s practically family gets one too. Like Harry and Hermione,” he mused.

“I could teach you how to knit her something, if you wanted,” you offered. “It’d be something pretty simple though, especially if you’ve never knitted anything before.”

The smile he sent you was so dazzling, you had to take a moment. You were practically melting under his tender gaze and you swallowed thickly, trying to gain your composure. 

 “That’d be bloody brilliant, Y/N!” 

You only hoped he didn’t notice how your face got hot and how your hands couldn’t move the needles to do what you wanted, too flustered to be precise with your movements.

Since then, the two of you spent most of Sunday afternoons making sure George had the correct strings of yarn on the correct needle. You would keep a close eye on him and his progress, but most of the time he was alright on his own. Sometimes, he would purposely sit closer to you on your couch and you could practically feel the warmth radiating from him. 

In between knits, your eyes would drift towards his focused face and you would smile. George had a habit of poking the tip of his tongue out when he was knitting. Something about the gesture helped him concentrate, and you found it absolutely adorable.

The more time you spent together, though, the more confused George got. It was getting to a point where in his head, it was impossible to miss what he was trying to say with his actions. You had to have caught on by now. And, since you hadn’t acknowledged what was going on between the two of you, he had assumed that this was your polite way of rejecting him.  

On a chilly morning, he clutched the warm cups of coffee in his hands as he pushed the door to Stitching Together open with his back. 

“Morning, Y/N!” he greeted.

You grinned in his direction as he made his way towards you. The moment he placed the warm drink in your hands and you took your first sip, a small moan of gratefulness escaped your lips.

“Merlin, I don’t deserve you,” you mumbled to your cup. 

“Sorry?” George asked, brows furrowed slightly. 

“Oh nothing!” you quickly said, “I’m just really glad you’re my friend, Georgie.” 

Friend. 

The word seemed to make his heart sink down to his stomach and ignite something in him at the same time. It was time that he told you how he felt, no matter what would happen afterwards. He couldn’t keep going on pretending he wasn’t head over heels in love with you. 

“Erm, about that Y/N,” he began, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his work uniform, “I’ve got to tell you something.” 

It was now or never. 

You smiled up at him encouragingly, almost oblivious to the bundle of nerves that were most definitely visible in his expression. 

“I-I don’t want to be just friends, Y/N,” he said, lips pursed in anticipation.

“What do you want then?” you still didn’t understand what he was trying to say. 

In a burst of confidence, George took your hands in his and gripped them tightly, “I want to be with you. I fancy you loads, I think I might even be in love with you, Y/N. Honestly, I might’ve been in love with you from the moment I first walked into your shop.” 

Your lack of an immediate response left him to back track, “But I understand completely if you don’t feel the same way, I just wanted to get it out there.” 

For a moment, the two of you were silent. George eyed you nervously, wondering what was going on through your head, bracing himself for the rejection that he thought was on the tip of your tongue. 

Finally, he couldn’t take it anymore, “Y/N? Do you want me to go?” 

Instead of answering, you flung your arms around his neck. He was so startled at your sudden gesture that he almost didn’t notice your lips on his. Almost. 

As suddenly as you had kissed him, all of his apprehensions melted away. Almost automatically, his arms found themselves wrapped around your waist and he pulled you closer to him. Your lips melted together seamlessly. It was as if this was where the two of you were meant to be, and you couldn’t help but smile into the kiss. 

Sooner than you had liked, George pulled away from you slightly. Despite his best efforts, he couldn’t help but dip his head down to peck your lips again. Once, twice, three times. This left you a giggly mess, your nose scrunching up in a way that was practically begging him to kiss it as well. 

“Does that mean you fancy me too?” he murmured against your lips. 

“Absolutely, head over heels,” you smiled in return. 

The pair of you spent a brief moment with your foreheads pressed together, giddy smiles on your faces. That was until a knock on the door of your shop sounded. Immediately, you sprung apart, a blush coating tip of George’s ears and cheeks. 

A few people stood outside, eyeing you amusedly. 

“Oh shit,” you said, hurrying to flip the sign on the door to say ‘open’ and to unlock the door with a flick of your wand. “I completely forgot I had a class today.” 

As the small group of people began to file inside, they sent knowing glances your way to which you only groaned softly and looked up at George.

“I’ll see you tonight?” you asked hopefully. 

With a kiss to your cheek and a mischievous grin he said, “You can count on it, love.” 

–

General taglist: @expectoevans @george-fabian-weasley @gxthsanrio @slytherinscribbles @harpyloon @nuttytani @mesmerisedangel @amourtentiaa @sarcasticallywitty15 @lumos-barnes

Weasley twins taglist: @whizboingies @pineapplesandpinas @papapapadumb @Mrs-g-weasley @a-castle-of--glass @hey-there-angels @leovaldez37 @pinkypurplemagic @werewolfslut @surprizeshawtyy

crossed out means i couldn’t tag you for some reason, sorry!

[sxfik]

I have an idea!

Ok so we all know that Hanseo is abused by his big brother, and if i remember correctly, the jipuragi trio found out about it from the guillotine file for the first time.

Now hear me out, what if the jipuragi trio found out about the abuse from Hanseo himself, not from the guillotine file??

After failing to burn down geumga plaza, Hanseok threw that object at Hanseo, telling him not to dodge it, and it left a scar on his forehead. When Hanseo visited jipuragi, he seemed proud of that scar, right?? Because thats what he got from saving geumga plaza, and he hoped that the scar would show them that he wants to be on their side.

BUT lets forget about all those stuff for a moment.

Hanseok loves to strangle, threaten, and hit Hanseo with the hockey stick. It certainly happens more than once, so i figured that there must be a bunch of scars and bruises on his body right?? What if the jipuragi trio noticed one of his scars/bruises?? I know Hanseo always wear long-sleeved stuff, so its not exactly visible, but what if someone caught a glimpse of it??? Perhaps the scar/bruise was on his arm???

Maybe when Hanseo visits jipuragi, Vincenzo asks him to wash some coffee mugs, and as Hanseo is rolling up his sleeves...

"yo whats that on your arm??"

And maybe Hanseo is like "thats a bruise..? Do you not know what a bruise is??"

Okay, idk. I have no idea how he's gonna react if that happens. I just feel like Hanseo wouldnt be proud of his scars if he didnt get them from trying to save geumga/jipuragi people.

And now im just wondering, what do you think? How would Hanseo react, in your opinion? If the jipuragi trio really did find out about the abuse from Hanseo himself, how would that affect their relationship? Im really curious about what you think

Hhhhhhhh sorry if its too long. I just thought that this might be a good way for Hanseo and jipuragi to kinda get closer with each other...

han seo headcanons (part one)

helloooo, thank you for sending an ask in :D

SORRY this answer is super long and for some reason my phone isn't allowing me to add a keep reading cut thingy, apologies in advance to the amount scrolling you have to do

tw: abuse

i've been thinking so much about this ask and just how han-seo would react to them finding out, and honestly i never really took note of how many long sleeved shirts he wears. i believe han-seok has switched a lot more into emotional manipulation and abuse than physical abuse but he has a lot of anger issues. i'd honestly imagine him using han seo as a punching bag for any and every inconvinence that happens to him, even as an intern.

i also agree with you, han seo is someone who is a very bright personality who tends to hide his hurt and emotions, and he's very very good at it as he has been living under a psychopath his whole life. he's good at hiding his anger (although it definetly bubbles over in smaller outbursts) and especially his hurt (i.e. the scene that han seok throws that candle holder at him and he just smiles back). han seo has a lot of anger at himself for not speaking back or being able to act like himself. like in that scene in the office, you can tell as he curls his fist that he wanted to speak back so badly. even when he finally snaps against han seok, he said "i'm getting tired of being afraid of you." i feel like he'd be embarrassed that even after years, he hasn't been able to escape his abuse

next>

(you can also read the following on ao3)

i feel like this scene and their dynamic would play out something similar to this:

han seo joined the team and has been working with vincenzo and cha-young for around a month. at this point han seo isn't walking on eggshells with both of them, he's a lot more comfortable and visiting their office regularly without choi/han/han seok finding out.

sometimes it's vincenzo and cha-young providing him books to study economics from, maybe even giving some brotherly/sisterly advice to him. every couple weeks, vin and cha-young give him quizzes and slowly, he's getting better and better

over time, he even got closer to the plaza residents (even though the residents were definetly cold to him in the beginning, miri scaring the shit out of him by doing her ghost thing, the lady with the lipstick from bye bye balloon staring him down, snack bar lady refusing to serve him, larry also scaring the shit out of him by doing his zombie routine)

but despite this, they adopt him into their family, han seo doing small errands for the residents, him buying the best coffee, food and getting camera equipment for the snack bar lady's son. han seo gifting the pawnshop couple with cute baby items etc.

(obviously he buys the most expensive shit bc he's still a rich boy, but they dont have to know)

(side note: he'd be fucking adorable with a baby, imagine him being the babies "uncle han seo" who gets them the best gifts !!)

even though he was comfortable with all of them, every once in a while his facade would slip.

every once in a while, someone would make a sharp movement towards him and he'd flinch. or if someone makes a quick step towards him, he'd back up and stiffen up on instinct

even if it was someone patting his back or just making a quick movement, he'd react on instinct from the years of abuse from han seok. but no one ever said anything about it if they noticed.

one afternoon after lunch, they were washing dishes, han seo on washing duty and cha-young drying and placing them back. and han seo was in his full sleeves and cha-young notices his sleeves getting wet

"yah, roll your sleeves back, by the end of this your whole sleeve will be wet! you know how uncomfortable those sleeves would be?"

"ahaha, it's alright noona, i'll be fine"

han seo tries to laugh it off, grining at her with one of his wide grins but there's something off about this one. but cha-young gives one of her patented glares and he rolls them up carefully, shielding his arms from her view, and continues washing the rest.

cha-young doesn't take note of his bruises at first, but noted the care he went through to shield his arms from her. his arms were posed almost awkwardly and he was on high alert

it wasn't until after they both finished and he was drying his hands that cha-young saw the massive bruises he had, climbing up his forearms and under the sleeves

he stiffens when he sees her stare, and quickly tries to cover them but she grabs them before he could hide it

she's completely quiet while she stares at his arms. after a moment, he speaks up

"oh i accidentally banged these against my doorway, they're just small bruises. it's go away in a couple days" he smiles at her again but she could tell from the way his shoulders were frozen and the wavering of his voice that it wasn't the truth

"did he do these?" she asked him, her face completely neutral and her voice barely a whisper. she's still looking at his forearms, her fingers ghosting over the bruises.

han seo just looks down and the silence is enough of an answer for cha-young. he walks away, embarrassed that she found out about it, even though his years of therapy told him that it wasn't never his fault, he still felt the shame and anger of not being able to break free.

he's quiet for the rest of the time, feigning tiredness and finding an excuse to leave the plaza

that night, it was just vincenzo and her working at the office late, in preparation for babel. cha-young's mind was still on what she saw that afternoon. abruptly, she stands up, her hand gripping the pen in her hand as she turned to vincenzo sitting at the other desk.

"did you know that bastard hurt him? he's been abusing han seo this whole time?" she asked vincenzo, her voice seething with anger

"i know."

"you know??? why didn't you ever say anything?"

vincenzo looks up at her from his stack of papers, setting his pen down.

"it wasn't my place. i picked up on it when he flinched when mr. tak reached toward him to place a hand on his shoulder."

cha-young sat back down then, her lips pressed together, and vin went back to his paperwork

"we should get him out of there. who knows what han seok would do in one of his rages?"

"couple nights ago, we went to drink makgeolli and i offered him a way out. i told him if he ever needs to leave, and if he's ready to leave, he has a place at the plaza."

"and is he? leaving that is?"

"no. he thanked me, but said that he needed to stay until his brother and his group crumbles to the ground."

cha-young let out a sigh, biting her lip, the worry on her face all too evident

"hong cha-young byeonosa-nim, we shouldn't baby him. jang han seo deserves revenge against his brother just like we do and the choice is ultimately up to him."

"i know. i just worry."

they stayed quiet for the rest of the night, working late but the topic never leaves cha-young or vincenzo's minds

the next day, han seo avoided her like the plague, not wanting to talk about what she saw yesterday

but while he was studying, she approached him, a glass of juice and a snack in hand, setting it next to him. she checked over his work quietly as he took a break and glanced at his arms, doing a once over just to make sure he didn't get any new ones.

"well done, han seo, you're doing well" she smiled at him and ruffled his hair and han seo let out a breath of relief and gratefulness that she hadn't treated him any different

from then, cha-young and vin only got fonder of han seo and han seo was pretty much adopted by them. after the battle and han seok is in jail permanently, he moves out of his apartment, and gets one closer to the plaza.

mr. nam would show him how the organization worked at jipuragi and put him to work, the paralegal grateful to have an extra hand around the office

eventually, even han seo grows an affection to the instant coffee and buys more for himself and his apartment

vin would take him shopping for suits, both rich boys obsessed with their sleek looks. they take cha-young with them once but she manages to sleep off at every shop they go to.

vincenzo also plays hockey with him regularly and the plaza invites him to plaza game nights. they get up to all kinds of mischief,

han seo loves spicy food, just like cha-young so they make it their mission to go to try every restaurant and compete to see just how much spice they can handle. obviously vincenzo doesn't even make it past the first round of the spice competitions but cha-young and han seo have the same competitive streak that keeps them going

han seo is also dropping hints to both of cha-young and vincenzo that they should get married. constantly teasing vincenzo about cha-young in the way only younger brothers do

obviously on one of cha-young and han seo’s days out, han seo drops hints CONSTANTLY, trying to get her to admit cha young likes vincenzo

and OBVIOUSLY she slips up, and han seo doesn’t let go of it

he does the whole younger brother teasing every single time he catches cha-young glancing at vincenzo at the firm

“cha-young noona and vin hyung, sitting in a tree. K I S S I N—” “HAN SEO!!!”

obviously chayenzo eventually get together but decide to keep it a secret (and of course, they were awful at it)

eventually when they reveal it to the office, mr. nam and han seo react like that one scene in suspicious partner (“quick, act surprised” “*gasp* you guys are together??????? we had no idea!!”)

han seo is basically adopted as a younger brother to both cha-young and vincenzo and even the plaza loves his presence and he gets to have a peaceful existence for the rest of his life

anyways han seo deserves a happy ending with a good family. he deserves a second chance with a family that LOVES AND CARES FOR HIM AND GIVES HIM CHOICES AND ALLOWS HIM TO BE HIMSELF. (and yes this covered more than just one scene but I HAVE MANY THOUGHTS ON HIM) as always feel free to add on :D

[xxxtrouvaillexxx]

Let’s Strike a Deal

A/N: This is late, I know. If you have not realized from before, I’m really bad at meeting deadlines. Well, at least deadlines that I’ve created for myself to follow because I like to procrastinate things and frankly… what am I gonna do to myself? Band myself from tea until I’ve written a chapter? I don’t have the self control for that! And life is hectic. But you know, enough with my excuses and onto the story. Hope you enjoy. I always love feedback so please be sure to leave a comment! ALSO I wanted to give a TRY (key word) to first person. If I don’t like it... I might change it, idk. I should never write anything at 3am as per evidence below, especially without editing lmao

Pair: CEO!Tom x Reader

Synopsis: Y/N, the small town of Hawkshead girl trying to make her way in the big city of Westminster, London. Not as easy as she thought. When things start to take a turn for the worst one afternoon and only one man in the crowd of hundreds decides to help her, she does something rather uncharacteristic and gives her savor her number in case he could ever use help of his own. Course, she never expected for him to actually call her out on it.

Masterlist

Warning(s): none… yet. Cursing?

Word Count:

My time was limited. There was nothing left that had to be done here or anything left to pack. Everything I’ve ever owned sat in a car on the way to my new apartment and last of the suitcases were in the bed of my brothers pickup at this very moment while I sat on the floor of my room. There wasn’t anything left for me here, I knew that, but it was still difficult to say goodbye to the place that carried so many of my favorite memories and the imprints of my childhood that still were splayed around the surrounding room.

There were two dents in the wall right in front of me from when I was ten and hit my head after tripping on one of my toys, thumbtack holes that littered everywhere above the bed from forts that I would make with my brothers and friends, nail polish that was spilled on the carpet from times when I was too distracted with talking than keeping the bottle up straight, my engraved initials on the windowsill. The memories that I had made in this room were countless and they were all absolutely priceless.

“Y/N!” I heard your mother call from the living room, her voice was slightly hoarse from held back emotion and it broke my heart to hear her like that. “You got to get going, dear! You’ll miss your train if you wait much longer to head out.”

Taking a deep breath and slowly standing from the, now old, bed I made my way toward the door, feet dredging behind me and scuffing the floor as I walked out. “I know, Mama. I’m just-” the words caught in my throat and I was at a loss. “I’m really going to miss you guys so much.”

“Oh stop it, you’re gonna make me cry if you keep on like that,” She said giving a tight hug before pushing me out the front door. “You are going to love it in London so much you’re not even gonna be thinking about us here, so get goin’. Your brothers already waiting for you in the car.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at her antics, “I love you Mama! I’ll call you when I get there!”

Jumping into the passenger seat of the truck, I waved final goodbyes from the window, dramatically blowing kisses as the car started to drive away.

“You better!” She exclaimed, watching as we pulled out and down the road.

“She is going to be a mess when I get back home. I can’t believe you’re going to leave me to deal with that alone!” Christian, stuck driving you to the train station much to his dismay, gave you a mocking glare. “After all the things I’ve done for your, this is how you choose to repay me? I’m pretty sure I’m getting the short end of the stick here,” he laughed humorlessly.

“Ahhh~” I cooed and smiled, “You’re only saying that cause you know you guys’ are going to be missing me so much!”

“Miss you?” He scoffed, “Yeah right. What we’re going to be missing is your baking. It’ll be the greatest blow our family has faced since 1824.”

I gave a scathing look, “And what, if I may ask, happened in 1824?”

“Don’t know, but something bad probably.”

»»-——————————————-««

I have never been so sore getting off of a bus in her life. The cheapest route to get to Westminster from Hawkshead was a train and 8 bus stops, totaling up to 10 or so hours in and out of vehicles. I groaned and stretched when my feet planted on hard asphalt for the first time in what seemed like forever. But, for all the soreness, I had made it to my destination with time to spare.

It was louder than I had imagined, crowded with traffic from all directions and people running any which way to get on with their lives. It was bustling and busy. Lively. Not exactly what I was used to which made me smile. 

Wide.

I made it. 

I only had a suitcase with me, the rest of her belongings would be delivered in a few days to the new apartment. 

My apartment. 

I was positively giddy at the thought. 

It took a lot of self control to keep from skipping down the side walks while I somehow navigated the new scenery, but I managed to keep my excitement under wraps for the time being. Arriving an hour early gave me a bit of time to take in the bigger sites near by, like the Ferris wheel, the clock tower Big Ben, and my personal favorite- Westminster Palace and abbey. It was a dream of mine since I was little to see it in person, and now here I was standing mere blocks away from the grand building, elated and amazed. 

Vibrating caught my attention and I barely managed to turn my eyes away from the sites in front of me to my phone, Kyra’s name popping up on the screen. My best friend and now room mate, Kyra Bardou, who was probably wondering where the hell I was now. 

“Hey,” I drawled with an obvious grin I couldn’t even hide in my voice. 

“Hey yourself! I’ve been waiting at the stop for 15 minutes with no sign of you only to learn you’re already in town and didn’t even bother to tell me!” She spoke so quickly I was shocked she didn’t run out of breath and laughed. 

“I’m site seeing, sue me!” I turned and started making the slow walk back, “I’ll be back in a couple minutes, I promise.”

She only grunted in response and let me walk in a comfortable silence, letting me continue to take everything in while simply enjoying her presence on the line. It was the last few moments I’d get now, the last bits of my old life slipping through my fingers like sand in exchange for a new one. 

And the chaos that comes with a big city. 

Like robbers. 

I couldn’t even let out a cry as I was shoved to the ground, my phone forced from my hand and my suitcase caught up in a strange mans arms. It took me a whole 5 seconds to get my bearings enough to yell at the man and give chase, shouting for help though no one so much as looked our way, just moved out of his. 

“Stop!” I screamed, running but quickly losing him as he bobbed and weaved through the crowd skillfully. “Stop! Someone stop him!”

And this time, someone moved to action, running past me at an alarming rate and quickly gaining ground on my assailant before they both rounded a corner and I lost sight of them. 

My heart dropped and I picked up speed again, hoping that I didn’t let them get far enough away for me to lose them completely, it would have been easy for them to get away from me here.

But when I turned around the block, I found the man on the ground with the track star of a man on top of him, already on the phone with I assume the police. I finally caught up to them and without thinking, hugged the man on the phone, a silent thank you while he spoke to whoever was on the line, before I gathered my things and hugging them close to me. 

He smiled kindly, finishing the call and turning to me properly while still pinning the thief to the ground. “Are you alright miss?”

“Yes! Thank you so much, I’d have been completely lost without this,” I gestured to my luggage. “I can’t thank you enough for helping me get it back. I don’t even know how to get around town yet.”

He laughed and nodded. “So new to town then. It was my pleasure to help, though I was really just doing what anyone in my position would do,” he responded kindly.

Furiously I shook my head, “No, you didn’t. I don’t believe I saw a single soul other than you move to help. Unless you did but beat them to it at the last minute. Not that that it implausible, you are seriously fast on your feet.” 

He laughed again and I noticed what a nice laugh he had, it was contagious and I couldn’t help but let out a chuckle of my own now that my adrenaline was fading bit by bit. “Yes, well- I do enjoy the sport.”

“Dually noted,” I grinned, jumping a little when my phone started to buzz in my hands. Kyra’s name popping up on the screen again. “Shoot!” I exclaimed and answered. I wasn’t even able to put the phone to my ear before I heard her shouting my name on the line. “Kyra-”

“Oh my god, Y/N! What the heck happened, I heard you shout and then the line went dead! Are you okay? Did something happen? Where are you?” She was speaking so loudly I had to hold the phone away from my ear a safe distance as she spouted one question after another at me without reprieve. 

My rescuer across from me chuckled, overhearing my frantic friend. “I’m fine, someone tried to steal my stuff on my way to meet you. Luckily someone came along and helped me catch him, otherwise I’d have lost everything. But everything is okay now, we are-” I looked around and realized I have no idea where we were. 

He seemed to catch on to my newest distress and whispered, “Tell them we are on the corner of Tufton and Bennett’s Yard.”

I nodded and mouthed a thank you, “ Tufton and Bennett’s Yard,” I repeated and she said she’d be here in a 10 minutes and to sit and wait before hanging up the phone. 

I slouched on the wall of some building, letting myself relax. “Not to be repetitive or anything, but thank you.”

He just shook his head, “No need. You’re friend sounded pretty worried about you, it wouldn’t do well to let her stew in that worry longer than needed.”

“Yeah, it’s been a few years since we last saw each other. She’d be pretty upset if something bad happened before I could even move in,” I laughed, though it didn’t quite sound right even to my ears. “I’m Y/N, by the way,” I introduced and stuck my hand out. 

He took it and gave a firm shake, “Tom. It’s a pleasure to meet you Y/N. Even in these less than optimal circumstances.” 

“The pleasure is mine, I assure you.”

“Y/N!” Someone yelled, and we both turned our heads to see Kyra sprinting full speed around her car and at me. I stood and braced myself for the collision of her, and fell back against the wall with the force of her body. 

“Holy shit, girl! You scared the hell outta me, you could have died! This is why I told you to call me when you first got into town, you always manage to get yourself into trouble like this. What would I have told your parents if something happened, huh? Huh!?”

I grinned and pulled back to get a proper look at her. Her black hair, normally frizzy was sticking out in every direction and her honeyed eyes wide as she scanned me over, running her hands over my arms for injuries. “I’m fine, Kyra. I’m sorry I didn’t call sooner, you’re right.”

“I know I’m right!” She shot back with a glare, “That doesn’t make me feel any better!”

“Well, there is a first for everything after all.”

Tom laughed hard at our back and forth, making us both jump a little and look down at him. Before I could even say anything, Kyra was down on his level with the thieves shirt in her fists and a scowl that would scare the devil himself on her face. 

“Is this the bastard that did this?” 

“Let go!” I shrieked and pulled her off, albeit with a little effort. “Tom called the cops and they’ll deal with this properly. Not you,” I said sternly. She just let out a huff of a response and pushed herself back enough to look at Tom properly. 

She gave him a once over and held her scowl in place, “So you’re the one who saved Y/N/N?”

He gave a small, hesitant nod and gave me a nervous glance. I just laughed and stood back up, as Kyra launched forward to give him a hug. “Thank you,” she murmured a few times and pulled back. 

“No worries,” he said, and looked far less distressed now that Kyra didn’t look like she wanted to gut him. “I was there at the right time is all.”

“Yes, well- That doesn’t mean what you did was anything less than amazing. My whole life is in that bag and in that phone at the moment. Seriously, if there is anything I can do for you in return it’s yours. Ice cream, some roller skates, a kidney. Just ask.”

Everyone laughed at that and he nodded with an obviously sarcastic “sure”, just as the police arrived to take the culprit and our statements. Kyra mumbled something about them being slow and went to the car for a few minutes to be out of the way. 

15 minutes later, everything was settled and they took the man away. Leaving Tom and I alone on the side walk again while I settled everything in my case to be sure I didn’t miss anything and quickly scribbled on a stray notecard. 

“I meant it when I said I owe you one,” I said and handed the card with my name and number to him. “Just give me a ring if I can ever be of any help at all and I’ll come running. Though, probably much slower than you did.”

He tried to decline the offer only once, but after some persistence he took it with another smile, “Thank you, Y/N. Hopefully this will not be our last meeting. And hopefully never again under such pressing circumstances,” he held out his hand, and I took it, returning his earlier shake with a firm one of my own and I agreed. 

“Until next time then,” he said and left. 

I barely was able to take my seat in the car before Kyra grasped my arm with a devious smile, “Y/N/N- Did you just give that guy your number?” My silence was answer enough and she laughed, “Girl! No way!”

No way was right, I thought with a small smile of my own as we pulled away and started home.

»»-——————————————-««

TAGS: open 

@drakesfiance @dumbgopher1​ @kewlbeans-22​​

[twopoppies]

Firstly No pressure to read any of the below it’s just a lil rant after I ended up on the wrong side of tumblr!! ( + I have ADHD and i forgot my meds lol so its a bit disoriented and all over the place) and no response necessary unless you want to!

Oh god I accidentally ended up on the wrong side of tumblr....never ever ever ever again, I went back so fastttt lol im laughing at myself rn for how quickly i clicked away from disgust

i ended up on a blog that stalks u and some other larries and says absolutely atrocious things abt louis (I can send u their @ if u'd like so u can block them) and fully bought the stunt bs happening rn and it was horrible obvs but like i just do not understand like it was so creepy gina and im just so disgusted bc why? yk?

like u were not joking abt anti's actually being obsessed with larries - like half this person's blog was talking abt you and amy and i was just so shocked cause why??? like mate come on what the actual f? get a life please?? (im quite new so im like just now realising how insanely weird and obsessed these anti's are)

Also it was just an overall eye opener for multiple things:

Starting with that 1. the way 1DHQ and 1D Management managed to alienate larries actually worked and i like knew but truly doing a proper deep dive and seeing multiple blogs hate on larries and like obsessively stalk us was insane?? Like they truly believe everything they’re being fed???

Side Note: Lowkey feeling very lucky to have had the education i have because even before i even joined this fandom i believed partially none of the relationships in the news bc like i knew abt this industry and how it worked yk? i mean its logic? i have so many mates that arent even in the fandom that know i am in the fandom and texted me when the articles started rolling out calling it out for what it was: A PR stunt

Hell someone i know whom i had never even talked abt fandom stuff/stunt stuff fully texted me making a joke out of it!!! like people who aren’t even in our fandom can see it and its just insanely surprising that if they can why cant the antis?? im just a bit shocked rn

both from 1. finding someone who actually believes in this stunt and 2. multiple blogs that fully commit their time to stalking u and other larries and once again i knew but fully seeing it

YK AT FIRST I WAS LIKE IS THIS A JOKE I DIDNT BELIEVE IT GINA I THOUGHT SOMEONE WAS PULLING MY LEG OR THIS PERSON WAS IDK BEING SARCASTIC AND HAD A MESSED UP SENSE OF HUMOUR but ye anyway

It made me realise that 1DHQ knew what the fuck they were doing when they were trying to alienate larries from the rest of the fandom, once again i am feeling extraordinarily grateful to have grown up with an education where i was literally taught to never trust anything and to always think things thru using logic - “does it makes sense to you? if not find out why, there usually a reason behind everything” my yr 9 english teacher used to say smth like that all the time and it just never left me bc she was always teaching us to judge everything and to take every piece of news we read entertainment or otherwise with a grain of salt and to always if we’re gonna give someone else our opinion or spread this information do our research (its what i am when i say i feel lucky to have had the education i have had)

Eye Opener 2: Anti’s are fully standing y’all u were 100% correct this is some next level stan behaviour if i’ve ever seen some, you’re famous gina!!

It is while surprisingly to realise that anti’s fully believe these things, more surprising to see how they treat larries bc why on earth would u treat any other human being this way??? like dont get me wrong they’re horrible ppl and i fully felt like sending them a message telling them exactly that but i would never bc i just dont want to make another person feel bad abt themselves even if they are that shitty of a person and it was very tempting

I just would like to understand why they feel the need to do this? like why hate on a whole other person? for what believing smth diff to u? having a difference of opinion? how tf are they gonna make it when they get a job??? like??? do u know how often i run into a person with a different opinion then me? it shouldn’t be that big of a deal! we should still be able to be friends with antis! but we’re not - not for lack of trying btw!! they’re just so mean and rude??? when i was in other fandoms when someone believed different things there was never this much hatred at someone for it!! hell there was barely any bc it was understood that it was normal to have diff opinions abt things and i just am truly fascinated by these ppl i swear they remind how stupid the human race can sometimes be not for what they believe (altho ngl a lil of that too) but for how they treat other ACTUAL human beings with different opinions to them

Eye Opener 2.5: Some people need lives, man like they proper do need lives and something to do maybe a hobby or smth? just like a life they need to get one of those and actual live it

and Eye Opener 3: I already felt this way but like even god damn stronger now you deserve a formal apology from both 1DHQ and the universe

and until we get that u deserve amazing things coming from the boys on your bdays to make up for it

Lastly Gina I hope you didn't read thru all that bc I couldn’t even read it over and thus sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes and I would also like to say that I love your blog and everything about you! you’re an absolute angel and one of the kindest ppl I have ever had the pleasure of well not meeting but stumbling across, you truly make this fandom a much much much better place with your presence (I shudder to think of it without u) that said if you ever need to take breaks or leave Im sure you already know but you should 100%

You first!!! Always! :)

Have a good day Gina, I hope its an absolutely amazing one!

Hi darling. LOL! Reading this was like talking with my kids when they don't take their ADHD meds. Lots of excited thoughts!! I loved it.

And yeah, that blog and their 4 followers are really... not well. But you're very right. 1DHQ made this fandom a breeding ground for people to hate larries and to think it's something Harry and Louis would both approve of. It's gross.

The gaslighting here is powerful, so thank goodness for fans like you who know to question what they're told and to look at things with logic and to do their best to see through their own biases.

Thank you for all the sweet words and your offer to kick butt (in your other message). I really appreciate it!

[beauvibaby]

hospital - m.barzal

requested [] yes [x] no

a/n: so no one requested this, but (prepare for a little rant) the idea came to me while I was thinking of my next dr appointment, as someone who struggles with PCOS, and never see it spoken about especially among young women, I figured I’d write this as a little something to just make myself feel like I made a small difference in normalizing it. This is based on my experience from when I had my first ruptured cyst when I was 16, it was the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life (and that’s from someone who’s dislocated their shoulder 2x), I could barely stand, and the ultrasound was undoubtedly excruciating, yet I was never really diagnosed until just a couple of months ago, and as frustrating as it is because there really is no treatment for PCOS, I feel better at least knowing that there’s a name for the issues I have, rather than just having them and no definition for it... sorry for the long note hah, I hope you enjoy the fic!

warnings: hospitals, reader pain, mentions of sex (idk if I should warn that but I did anyways)

You finally managed to trudge out of the bedroom, you’d been feeling a little crampy all morning, even though you were still well over a week away from your period, you brushed it off, thinking at the worst you caught a little stomach bug. But it couldn’t be ignored anymore, “Mat?” You squeaked out, barely able to look up long enough to see that he wasn’t there, Tito looked over. “He ran down to the corner store.” He spoke up, glancing over and doing a double take when your hands gripped your side. You hunched over in pain, nearly falling to your knees, “Y/N!” Tito shot up, rushing over to you, he knew you hadn’t felt good, which is why Mat made him stay here while he ran out to get you some stuff. “Call him please.” You whispered, leaning against the wall, blinking away the tears in your eyes, Tito moved you to the couch, apologizing repeatedly every time you winced or groaned. This wasn’t a type of pain you ever felt before, it was sharp, and nauseating. Just as you sat on the couch, finally letting the tears fall, you couldn’t be bothered to feel embarrassed, this was the worst pain you’ve felt of your life thus far, the front door opened and Mat walked in. He took in the sight of Tito kneeling beside you, phone in hand as he was about to call Mat. “Baby, hey, talk to me.” Mat rushed over, dropping the bag on the couch, he took Tito’s spot in front of you. He watched as you shook your head, crying to hard to speak coherently, “she needs to go to the hospital, she could hardly walk.” Tito explained shortly, “come on.” Mat didn’t hesitate to stand, sliding one arm under your shoulders to steady you. He walked slowly, alongside you, a million thoughts and worries going through his head but he didn’t express any of them, knowing you were thinking the same. “You gotta tell me where it hurts, princess.” He whispered as you hid in his chest in the elevator, you placed his hand on your lower left stomach, he rubbed slightly to see if it helped but yanked his hand away when you let out a strangled cry. “I’m sorry.” He rushed, sloppily tying your hair back, knowing you hated when it stuck to your face with tears.

Finally, you got to the emergency room and they took you back almost instantly, saying they needed to make sure it wasn’t appendicitis, which only made you more nervous, although they quickly ruled that out, thankfully, but the next concern was kidney stones. “We want to do a CT scan to check, they’ll be in to take you back shortly.” The doctor, who had zero bedside manner, disappeared the second he was done speaking, you had stopped crying, the pain not really subsiding but it was a mix of adjusting to it, and finally being stuck in one position long enough to not agitate it. “Hey, calm down.” You sighed rolling your head to the side, Mat’s knee was bouncing furiously, his chin resting in his hands. Kidney stones, if that’s what it was, you’d be fine, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that it wasn’t. “Sorry, sorry.” Mat whispered, sliding his chair closer, he leaned up, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead, “you’ll be alright.” He assured you, hating the pain you were in. “I’d switch places with you if I could baby.” He added, and you chuckled softly at the thought, he raised a brow at you, “why is that so funny?” He retorted, taking advantage of your momentary smile. “Because, you’re so whiny when you get a cold, if you went through this you’d go insane.” You giggled, stopping when it made your side shoot in pain again. Mat’s smile died down as well, pouting softly when you sighed, closing your eyes, only to be interrupted again by the nurse coming in to take you for the scan. Mat spent the whole fifteen minutes you were gone, texting Tito freaking out about how much pain you were in, Tito having to continuously tell him you’d be fine, you were in a hospital after all, they could give you strong pain meds once they figured out what was wrong.

When you returned, Mat helped you sit back on the bed, wiping at the fresh layer of tears on your face. The nurse smiled at you when his back was turned, you got that look a lot, especially from the older ladies when they saw how Mat would tend to you. “The doctor will be in soon to go over the results.” She spoke walking out the door, “that tube is so small.” You mumbled after a short silence, Mat laughed softly, “I know.” He’s had his fair share of scans over the years for injuries, “at least you didn’t have to go head first.” He pointed out and you shivered at the thought, “no way, not ever gonna happen.” You mumbled, you weren’t really claustrophobic, but the thought of being stuck in that tube with your arms forced behind your head made you cringe. “Well hopefully you don’t need anything from the hospital for a long, long time.” He sighed, neither of you liked hospitals, not many people did, but growing up you’d seen your fair share of them and preferred to stay as far away from them as you could.

***

“Good news.” A new doctor walked in, a female doctor, instantly your eyes shot to her badge, OB/GYN sewn into her white coat, you went wide eyed, Mat was too worried about what she was going to say to notice. You had a million thoughts running through your head, even though you knew you weren’t pregnant, they had done a test before the CT scan, but still for a second you panicked. “It’s not kidney stones, but we did find a couple of cysts on your ovaries.” She explained, you let out a sigh of relief before your next concerns started kicking in, Mat shifted awkwardly in his seat, even though you’ve been together for years, he still got a little pink at such topics. She started explaining how they couldn’t really confirm if you had a larger one that ruptured, causing your pain, but she was pretty confident based on your symptoms, then she started asking some questions, to which you could tell Mat was tuning out. But then one in particular made his eyes shoot over to you when you took longer to answer, “any pain or discomfort during intercourse?” She looked up from her clipboard when you didn’t answer immediately, her eyes darted between you and Mat, your cheeks a little pink as you gave her a look, that silently answered her question. “Not pain, but discomfort definitely.” You admitted making Mat go wide eyed, he staid silent until the doctor left, telling you that she’d be back with discharge papers soon. “Y/N.” He started, you looked down to your hands in your lap, picking at your nail polish. “Why didn’t you tell me? Jesus, how long has this been going on? Did I hurt you?” He rushed his questions together, you felt even worse for not telling him how, but you didn’t think much of it, thinking it was just an odd phase your body was going through. He felt terrible, suddenly feeling like he was forcing you to have sex, even though it didn’t feel right. “I didn’t want to say anything, it’s not your fault, I just knew you’d be worried.” You whispered, it was a stupid excuse but it was true. “Of course I would be worried! Do you really think I’d be so selfish about my own needs? How long?” He stood, getting a little wigged out over the sudden revelation, you looked away, only making him more stressed. “Like a month and a half?” You whispered, he froze, mid pace. “A month and a half?!” He whisper shouted, being mindful of the fact you were in a hospital. “I’m sorry.” You sighed, looking at him with apologetic eyes, he shook his head softly, sitting back down in the chair when he heard the doctor coming back in. She went over a few quick instructions, the usual if it gets worse or you get a fever come back, but she told you to schedule a follow up with your gynecologist, which you assured her, and Mat that you would do. The doctor could sense the tension, she looked over to Mat. “Don’t be so hard on yourself, plenty of women go through this and don’t say anything to their partners.” Her words visibly eased his shoulders, although in his mind he was still reeling in the fact that you wouldn’t say anything, especially for that long, he’d thought of all the times you’d been intimate and felt worried that he had caused you any discomfort.

The short trip back to the apartment was silent, he had his hand glued to yours the whole time though, which told you he wasn’t mad, but you still felt guilty, it was stupid, childish to not say anything. His phone rang as you walked into the apartment, he dropped your hand, you glanced back. “Go ahead, I’m going to shower.” You whispered, smiling softly, you really did need a shower, especially after sitting in the hospital all afternoon, it made you feel dirty.

“Hello?” Mat answered the phone, softly shutting the door behind him, he heard the water turn on in the bathroom, “hey, I just wanted to see how you guys were.” Tito spoke, oblivious to the bomb he had just stepped on. Mat couldn’t help but scoff, “let’s just say she was having issues and didn’t tell me, and I was possibly making it worse.” He explained without divulging any too personal information. “I’m sure she didn’t tell you for good reasons.” Tito responded, as best as he could without knowing the whole situation, “you sound like her.” Mat grumbled, earning a chuckle from his friend. “She knows how worked up you get, and with the season starting back up soon she probably didn’t want to distract you.” He assured him, “I get that, but I’m her boyfriend, she’s supposed to tell me these things, if this had happened during the season I would’ve been more distracted.” Mat rambled, Tito being the voice of reason for him. “Dude, you just have to calm down, it’s over now, don’t be a jerk, I’m sure she’s beating herself up for it now. The last thing she needs is you making her feel worse.” And with that Mat came to his senses, muttering a quick goodbye before going to the bathroom to check on you. He knocked softly on the door, making his presence known before he tried turning the knob, he furrowed his brows together when he realized it was locked. He couldn’t think of a time in your relationship where it had ever been locked. “Y/N?” He called, knocking again, he heard you gasp softly, scrambling around in the bathroom. “Almost done.” You called out, rushing to wash the conditioner out of your hair as you begged the tears to stop.

You wrapped a towel around yourself and looked in the mirror, grimacing at the puffy face staring back at you, it was no use trying to hide it, the knob jiggled again. “Baby, are you okay?” He had concern lacing his voice, you nodded, more for yourself, clearly since he couldn’t see you. “Yeah.” You mumbled, unlocking the door, he opened it immediately, the steam from your shower flowing out of the room. “What’s wrong?” He mumbled cupping your face, eyes searching yours for any pain, “you’re mad at me.” You spoke sheepishly, he shook his head. “Baby, I’m not mad, I was just shocked you didn’t tell me.” Mat assured you, feeling guilty for letting you think he was actually mad. “I guess I understand why you didn’t tell me, but you should’ve, you could’ve gone to the doctor earlier and maybe this wouldn’t have happened, I just feel bad for causing you pain.” He explained, lips landing softly on your forehead. Your gripped him a little tighter at the action. “I know, it was stupid, I’m sorry.” You sighed, he nodded, giving you a quick kiss. “Still hurt?” He asked, following you around like a lost puppy, you nodded silently, brushing your hair out. “You didn’t hurt me, you know? If it had hurt I would’ve told you, it was just different?” You tried to explain, seeing the wheels turning in his head. He met your eyes in the mirror, “I don’t know how to explain it, you wouldn’t understand.” You added lightening the mood with a laugh. He smiled, “no I don’t think I would.” He agreed, relieved to at least see you joking around. “Just promise me you’ll tell me if anything like that happens again?” He came up behind you, “of course bub.” You winced lightly, sighing at the continuing pain, they told you it would be bad for a couple of days, so you weren’t surprised. Mat on the other hand grew more frustrated every time it hurt, wishing he could do something. “I just want to lay down, please.” You whispered when he kissed the top of your head. He nodded and walked you to the bed, even though you were fully capable, you allowed him to have his moment of feeling like he helped. Which he did, just by being there, he always helped. It’s safe to say he was very hesitant to touch you for a while after that.

Taglist: @mtkachuk​ @softstarkey​ @literarycharleton​ @thathockeygirl​

[terrainofheartfelt]

You keep saying S6 of Gossip Girl is fake, so how would you have done it? Considering the same constraints the writers had (only 10 episodes, many characters, the loose ends in the S5 finale and the fact that it’s an ensemble show, so you can’t get someone away to deal with stuff)

It IS fake! As my dear friend Ivy (natearchie) said once, “canon is in the eye of the beholder,” and if every branch of christianity ever can cherry pick which parts of their mythology they deem to be true, then why shouldn’t I do the same with this cw soap about pretty people kissing?

Of course, the answer I want to give is that you can find my rewriting of the story following s5 on my ao3, but that shit’s long and you’re talking within the same 10 ep order so *cracks knuckles* let’s do this.

Oh but first lemme tell you of a god-tier s6 fix-it by S (strideofpride) here. It Healed me.

Disclaimer: since s6 is fake I don’t really remember all that happened in there so I am painting with broad strokes here. and I'm putting it under a read more because once yet again, my loquaciousness got the better of me.

Oh, for starters, let’s just get this out of the way now: Dan is not Gossip Girl. No one is Gossip Girl. The identity of Gossip Girl shall not be revealed. Because I think narratively-speaking I don’t need to, and because giving it to any of the GG mains would mean retconning like 99.99% of the show. So.

I’d open the season with both Serena AND Dan hiding away from New York, having cut ties with everybody. Blair is the one to track down Serena, finding her...not shacking up with a dude twice her age, but in a small town, anonymous, maybe she has a part-time job, maybe she finally got her yoga certification and is teaching classes. She’s doing the GOOP thing she pretended at doing between s2&3 and s3&4. Her unhappiness isn’t because she doesn’t belong in the world she’s run to, or that she’s pretending to be someone else (just a different shade of herself), it’s that she left at odds with so many important people in her life, and doesn’t she want to fix that? -- here let’s flashback to Blair tracking down chip whiskers whereverst he pranced off to, and the conversation that follows, and Blair realizing “this isn’t what I want” -- okay and we’re back to the Blairena show somewhere in...Maine or whatever.

Nate tracks down Dan still living in Italy - Georgina fucked off halfway through the summer when he gave up writing. He’s just been a barista ever since. Nate gives him a variation of the “you can’t run away when things get hard” speech, and Dan throws all the drafts of Outside (was that the name? idk) in Nate’s face. Dan’s hiding because he’s too ashamed to come back. Because he wrote this. And Nate points out: but you stopped, you’re not publishing it.

The episode ends with GG blasts that note Serena & Dan’s respective returns to NYC.

Okay here’s the broad brushstrokes coming in:

Rather than have Nate be the one with the Howard-esque scandal, let’s make it Chip. Hell, throw his resurrected dad in there too. I don’t support the prison system but I do love locking up fictional criminal rich white men. And let’s be real, any attempted coup chip would make to take his dad’s company would rely heavily on white collar crime (I think it’s nevertothethird’s fic that rightfully points out that chip barely got a high school diploma, what the fuck is he doing running a company).

I’d gut a lot of the extraneous side character tomfoolery, get Ivy out of there, get wvdw out of there, they are barely relevant as it is. Instead I would center the episodes around the core four, and their friendships with each other, and where they are going in life.

And to that point, with such a limited timeframe to work with, I don’t think I’d have any endgame pairings at all. Except Lily/Rufus. They stay married. Because I said so. (maybe the hijinks that put the derena friendship back on track is pulling off another parent trap). I’d have Dan and Serena and Blair and Nate all be friends with one another, and maybe there’s some backsliding (this is a CW show after all) or hey, maybe let’s give the Gays what they want and have a blairena and/or date hookup, just for funsies. But I think any of that tomfoolery would still be brought back to, we need to just be friends/ I need us to just be friends right now.

And I’d end the series on that friendship, with them having one last night in New York before they all go their separate ways. They are all getting out. Serena is moving to LA, because she realized that is where she’s been the happiest in the past six years, but this time, she is leaving on good terms, and her friends and family know where to find her. Blair is moving to Paris for a new job at a fashion publication (isn’t this how Friends ends??? S? Only nobody stops Blair from getting on the plane, she and her people know it’s the best thing for her). Dan is going to graduate school in the midwest (I think it was waldorfhistoria who told me he does this in the books, let’s bring in that energy!), because he wants to be a writer again, he just needs some better role models than noah goddamn shapiro. Nate, new college graduate, unemployed, is about to set off on an around-the-world sailing trip. He’s been plotting it for months, and he’s very excited. He’s not thinking too far ahead in the future, but that’s okay.

Okay okay okay I will go ahead and do a time-jump. Let’s have it be about the same length as the show one, which was what - ten years after the series began? Maybe a little longer? Something is happening to bring the gang back together: maybe it’s a Constance/St. Jude’s reunion, maybe Rufus and Lily are renewing their vows, idk, it’s something.

Serena is working her way up the ranks of a production company in LA, she’s happy and healthy and loving her life, maybe she’s doing some writing of her own. Blair is flying in from Paris, after closing another fabulous coverage of fashion week, she’s a high-ranking editor now, near the top of the ladder, and loving every second of it. Let’s allude to Jenny and Eric, too. Jenny, celebrating success with the debut of her own label (with rave reviews from Blair’s publication, and Eric, who is helping direct and provide counsel to a nonprofit centered around LGBTQA+ youth with…*drumroll*...Nathaniel Archibald. And, last but certainly not least, Daniel Humphrey, visiting NYC from Chicago to promote his new novel (his 3rd!), hitting the top of the NYT bestseller list (because he deserves it!)

They all keep in touch to varying degrees, some closer than others. Serena and Nate are too on the move to really keep up, but they make a catch-up coffee not-date which turns into lunch which turns into dinner which turns into drinks and they show up to this party as each other’s date.

Dan and Blair really only keep track via instagram, never really talking to each other directly, though he did personally congratulate her on each of her promotions, and she’s sent him a lengthy and brutally thorough review of each thing he’s published in the last few years. But they both go to this aforementioned vague event (it’s late I’m tired just go with it), arriving separately, and then at some point, while they’re catching up with other people, they spot each other, and lock eyes across the crowded room.

Roll credits.

[granolabird]

I realized I never posted my Peter x Reader fic on here so I thought I might as well do it even though everyone and their grandma has probably already read it on Ao3 oops.

(Also idk how to do all this fanfic fancy tumblr formatting stuff I apologize I'm an old woman)

Late Nights With Peter

Notes: I wrote this at 1AM during a mental breakdown a few weeks back :) University is a bitch.

It’s late, and I’m half asleep. The tv drones on, displaying some horror movie I can’t recognise past sleep-bleary eyes. Beside me sits Peter, my head resting lightly on his side as I slowly pass out. He doesn’t notice, or if he does, he doesn’t seem to care, only focused on watching the movie and seeing how many marshmallows he can fit in his mouth at once. From what I can tell, it’s at least ten. I adjust myself slightly, snuggling closer to him, and he looks over eyes wide. “Hey, are you still awake?” He speed-chews the marshmallows before he asks, giving me a small nudge. “Barely.” I huff and he gives a small chuckle. “You need me to run you upstairs?” He offers and I shake my head as well as I can from the position I’m in, curled up on the couch. “I’m too comfy. You make a good pillow.” He smiles and presses a soft kiss to the top of my head. “As much as I appreciate the compliment, I think it’s time we get you to bed. I don’t know how long I could stay still, even as your honorary pillow.” He reaches over and presses a button on the converter to turn the tv off, before scooping me up, bridal-style. “Fiiine.” I lament knowing it’s too late to try and stay on the couch, seeing as I’m already in his arms. He grins, before running us up to the bedroom and placing me swiftly under the covers, then following suit.

He snuggles close to me, laying one arm over my side as I press into his warm chest. “How did I get so lucky to find someone like you?” I ask, my words muffled in his baggy sleep-shirt. “I could say the same about you.” He sighs, running a hand through my hair. We’re quiet for a moment, but he doesn’t stop moving his hand through my hair slowly. “Hey, I know it’s late but can… can I ask you something?” His words are uncharacteristically quiet and I look up from his chest, searching his face to figure out what he’s thinking. Peter is notorious for late-night pondering of the worst kind. After everything he’s been through, I can’t blame him. “Anything.” I offer in response, but he doesn’t smile this time, he just keeps petting my head lightly. “This is kind of weird, but do you think the guys back at the school care about me?” He questions, and I lift my head to meet his eyes. “What?” I shake my head, a little confused and still sleepy, and he takes a moment to ponder. “It’s just that, I go on all these missions, I do all this work to help them, and they just… keep going. They don’t thank me, they don’t pay me any mind, and then they go off for drinks after the mission and half the time they don’t even ask me to join them. I’m just a comic relief to them, I think. What if they leave me? My dad left me, Logan left all of us, I’ve never had anyone stay as long as you have really, so who’s to say you won’t leave too? Shit, I don’t know, maybe I just need to go to sleep.” His anxiety seems to grow with every word he says, and his eyes are staring off into somewhere far away. His hand has stopped moving across my hair now and it falls softly onto the bed.

“Peter.” I say, lifting a hand to his cheek to snap him out of his daze. “I do think you need to go to sleep, your mind goes much too fast.” I huff out, before continuing. “But they care about you, I can promise you that. Scott told me the other day that you’re one of his best friends. Did you know that?” I offer, and Peter tips his head slightly, leaning into my hand. “He did?” “Yeah, he did. And you know why they don’t invite you to drink with them. You can’t-” “Get drunk.” He finishes my sentence for me, a gleam shining in his eyes. “But it was pretty funny when I got the video of Kurt drunk off his ass, wailing ABBA on karaoke night.” His sense of humor is returning, and I grin up at him. “He’s never going to forgive you for that one.” I chuckle, moving my hand from his cheek so that it can grip his free hand. He chuckles too, and I feel warmth light up my chest. “And Peter, you know I’d never leave you.” “I know.” He responds almost immediately, pressing his face into the top of my head. “I know, I just get worried sometimes. I’ve lost so many people. Been through so much shit that it just...” He trails off, his words muffled against my hair. “The others on the team care about you Peter, everyone does. You’re basically a son to Charles, and your dad? Who gives two shits about him, the dickhead is a mass murderer. He doesn’t deserve you.” I tell him, and he lifts his face to look at me again.

“Hey! That's my father you’re talking about!” He exclaims quietly, but the light in his eyes tells me he’s joking. “He may be your father, but he’s still an asshole. The only good thing he’s ever done is bring you into this world.” I say sternly. “I don’t know, that time he killed the president was pretty awesome.” He offers, and I force myself to put on the most fed-up face my exhausted brain can create. He laughs fully now, and I feel his chest rumbling as he goes. “Why are you laughing.” I huff, trying my best to sound annoyed despite the smile pressing at my lips. “Because you look so damn cute when you try to look mad at me.” He whispers, and I sigh letting my smile come through and shaking my head. “You’re such a ladies man.” I say mockingly, and he grins at me. “I know, right?” Peter lets another chuckle escape him, before he leans himself down to kiss me. It’s not intense but rather light, soft and subtle, as he uses the one arm he has thrown around me to somehow pull me even closer. I lean into him, and we rest against each other's lips for a long while, just enjoying the presence of one another.

I feel him smiling against my mouth, before he pulls back and looks over me, eyes tracing my face. “I love you.” He says, and I laugh and bury my head in his shirt again. It smells like marshmallows and faint cologne that reminds me of an autumn breeze. It reminds me of home. Peter, my love, my sweet, my everything. You are my home. I don’t voice any of this though, and instead opt for “You smell like marshmallows.” He responds by half-heartedly kicking me under the blanket. “Wow, thanks. I feel so loved right now.” He grumbles, and I look back up to him. “I love you too you big goof. I’d probably love you a lot more if you just let me sleep.” I tell him, and he sighs, letting his head flop on his pillow. “Right sorry, I forgot you’re little miss sleeping beauty. Remind me to wake you up in the morning with a kiss?” He jokes, and I press my face back against his chest. “I know you won’t need the reminder.” I tell him as I settle myself into a comfortable position to sleep in. “You’re right.” He mumbles, and I can tell he’s getting tired too. He adjusts himself, his one arm still flung around me and trying, to no avail, to bring me even closer. Then, Peter settles my head in the crook of his neck, and sighs, clearly feeling comfortable. “Goodnight.” He says, and I smile into his chest. “Goodnight Peter, I’ll see you in the morning.” I tell him, before fading into the lull of sleep. I’m not sure what I dream about, but somewhere running through my dreams I know there is a handsome silver-haired man, who owns my heart, and I know I am loved.

[lxndonorris]

Thank youuuu @fabiochampioraro for tagging me❤

1. Why did you choose your URL?

I decided to focus mainly on F1 and at that time, I fell in love with Landos goofy personality and his amazing driving skills.

2. Any side blogs?

Just saved an url but Im not planning on using it right now.

3. How long have you been on Tumblr?

Around 2014?? Maybe. Cant recall the day I fell into this hole.

4. Do you have a queue tag?

Barely use that function. Cba to.

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

At that time, I was more active on Youtube, making edits and stuff, and many people were on tumblr so I joined them. Plus, I normally feel better on here than any other site.

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

Blonde Liam ended me and his arms on that pic are a cure for my depression.

7. Why did you choose your header?

Same as before, I felt like making a little blond Liam theme.

8. Whats your post with the most notes?

A maxiel shit post I think.

9. How many mutuals do you have?

Mutuals, maybe like 15? Close friends, like 5.

10. How many followers do you have?

1410, up and down every day.

11. How many people do you follow?

Around 200. Unfollowed a lot.

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

Yup.

13. How often do you use tumblr?

Everyday, just a few minutes up to an hour maybe?

14. Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog?

Of course. Its human. Some came after me for my faves, others felt the need to reblog my stuff with shitty tags or hateful shit. Oh, and falling outs, a lot.

15. How do you feel about the "you have to reblog this" posts?

No one will tell me what to do. Period.

16. Do you like tag games?

Oh yeah, I do. 👀👀

17. Do you like ask games?

Two edged sword. Getting no ask at all is depressing, but it tends to be fun!

18. Which of your moots do you think are tumblr famous?

Is that something? I feel like people are known in their circles but idk.

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual.

I love all of them.

I tag @toastyrashford @waru-chan8 @canet-tsitsipas @linlie @capitano-ale @vdlbros @wolfsbanesbite @worldchampmaxy @wdcmaxy @shwartzwoman63 @nxrtrell feel free to ignore❤

[imonthinice]

The Criminal Psychology Majors, Jason Todd x Fem!Reader Part 12/?

Word Count: 4.4k

Author’s Note: Y/N - Your Name, A/N - Any Name (Your Best friend’s name)

God idk what i’m doing with this but i’m liking it lmao

next one might honestly be smut idk

Warnings: Violence, Swearing, Description of Blood, Gets heated, hints at trauma, no beta bitch we die like Jason Todd

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12) (Part 13) (Part 14) (Part 15) (Part 16) (Part 17) (Part 18) (Part 19) (Part 20)

Y/N walked through the streets of Gotham, which were once bustling with people, but now were quiet with the occasional hooker, she had caught the city as an unlively hour, where it seemed to sleep the night away while the vigilantes of the area watched it like their lives depended on it. In some ways it did, the stories they would tell when being interviewed were horrific sometimes, but Y/N figured a decent amount of it was for dramatization, to keep the people of Gotham off of the streets to protect them all from it.

The question was always protect them from what, and they never answered. So, it never kept the people of Gotham at bay from the streets at night, and had Y/N’s car not been towed, she would have been driving home in the safe, secluded area of her car, not the vast wilderness of the streets of Gotham.

She looked up at the sky to see one of the virgate boys using a grappling hook to fly to the other building, which was such a sight to behold for someone who never witnessed a superhero beyond Superman at home. She wished and longed to know more about the vigilante, but didn’t dwell or dote on that man, because she didn’t need to.

Something told her that he was watching though, tracing every step she made to make sure she got home in one piece. She thought she was crazy, her life didnt matter more than anyone else in Gotham. He’s not following me, why would he? she thought, Even though I’m dating Jason Todd, they probably don’t know Jason, so my life doesn’t mean much more to them than any one of the hookers along this street. I’m overthinking it.

The walk home took two hours, she left Jason’s at 4am just to find herself back home at 6am, bright and early as the sun rose, ready to greet the day and all it had in store for everyone. But the things it had in store for Y/N was a class and if she was lucky, cuddling with Jason. Nothing more, nothing less.

She would open her front door, unscathed from the journey home, except maybe for a few callouses on her feet, it was the last time she wouldn't pay for more than a day of parking, that’s for sure. Heels were not the shoes you wanted for a two-hour walk home in the Autumn cold, but they were what she had.

She thought about what she was going to do next, and the first thought she had was to shower. Not because she needed to, but because she wanted to nurse the terrible headache she had and to think some things through. What she normally did in the shower.

She wanted so much more from so much of her life. the main offender of seemingly not being enough for her was Jason. Not because she didn’t want more, but because she craved more from him. He was injured, so she wouldn’t get much more rom him for the time being, and it stung a little for her. She just wanted him, maybe sexually, maybe in a more romantic setting or maybe just on her couch on a Thursday afternoon. It was all three of those options and she knew it.

She pulled out of the shower and looked at the time, 6:50am. Okay, she thought, little more time than I wanted to spend in the shower, but I guess the universe had different plans for me today. What else do you have for me, universe? And how much of you plan involves Jason?

She would open her phone after quickly getting dressed. While she still cared for her appearance, she didn’t want to dress like she owned a law firm every day, so she didn’t. Just black jeans and a black top and she felt like a million bucks. 

Just some quick outfit inspo. I like doing these a lot. I think fashion is funky :))

Artemis had sent her a message asking where she was at around 4am, she wondered why the time, but she then remembered that Artemis’ boyfriend worked with Dick Grayson, who was Jason’s brother, who worked most nights until radical hours of the night. The chances that he saw her on her two-hour walk home was high, but the chances that that had also made it back to Jason was higher. She knew she was in for it.

Hey sorry, I was at Jason’s. Fell asleep in his arms the whole shebang. And yeah, that was me who screamed the yo momma joke at the press. It was super childish, I know, but I don’t care. Those fucks are sucking my life force out of me and harassing my boyfriend, even your boyfriend.

She would then look at the articles calling her a gold digger and worth-nothing childish insulter of the press. She laughed. If the press wanted a fight from her, she was more than willing to oblige and load the canons. 

She didn’t know how to fight back that well, since it was a mainly verbal fight, and she barely even knew how to  fight physically, hence all the running and non-confrontational arguments she had had to the press.

And like fucking clockwork, Jason texted her.

Did you walk home alone or are my brothers lying bastards?

I walked. I knew someone saw me, fuck.

Why did you walk home? I thought you drove here?

I did, but we spent more than 12 hours together Jason. I didn’t buy enough hours, suddenly my car was being towed.

You could have asked for a ride home from Alfred! He would have in a heartbeat.

I was going to! But  I got distracted and it all became a blur and suddenly I was part of the way home in the dark by myself!

What if you had gotten hurt?

Well, I saw one of the vigilantes of the city on the rooftops, I’m sure if I screamed they would have seen me. They always do see that stuff.

So, your car got towed huh?

Yeah, I don’t know when I’ll be able to pay it off. It’s not exactly like money my parents give me should go to my car getting towed because I got fucked over by seeing my boyfriend. 

You’ll figure it out. Sorry about the car, that’s got to suck fucking ass.

You think? I’m stuck taking the fuckin’ subway till I get my car back. I hate the subway, too many people. Far too many people. Too many eyes. It gets stressful really quickly. Might just walk every where honestly, I can’t deal with the eyes of strangers.

But you’re a C-list celebrity.

Internet is different. I can just block the bad eyes and move on with my life, you should see my block list now that some people are connecting my name to the girl who flipped off the press, thank god Twitter has a fuckin block feature.

You should really just meet my family so you don’t have to run away before they get home, would probably cause you a lot less financial stress, Y/N.

I’ll think about it.

You should think a little harder about it. I don’t want you to get your car impounded ‘cause you’re seeing me, why did you even park in pay-to-park?

Did you not see the massive mob trying to get to you? It was impossible for me to even try to pull into the driveway. Hence why I’m being insulted, you know, ‘cause I yelled at the press to get them to leave me alone. I fucking hate the press, you’re stabbed, severely injured last time they got information, and they’re harassing me, asking me what I like to do on the weekends.

Fucking vultures. Yeah, I’ve seen that. I’ve read the articles. But that’s the press for you, absolute trash and spitting bullshit in everyway.

Fucking hate the press, that’s for damn sure. Despise them. I won’t ever change that, even if, knock on wood, we break up.

Praying we don’t break up so I can see you lose your shit at the press when you’re bored.

She would get up to go make some coffee, since it was closer to 7:20am and if her roommate woke up, she could just tell her to get up anyway.

The press can suck my dick. she said.

You have a dick?

Oh yeah. Massive. 20ft long. It probably won’t even fit all the vultures.

Oh my god, that’s not as big as mine.

lmfao is it now?

Oh yeah.

Nice.

Anyway, my brothers are staying home from school today,  I think they’re making me play Resident Evil 8 with them? You know that game?

Of course. Everyone in that game is infinitely hot.

Are you bi? 

I don’t know. Haven't thought that far ahead to actually label myself. I just like people. Sometimes it’s men, sometimes it’s women. But you have to agree when you see them all. That game came out when I was still in  high school, so I’ve played the entire thing. My phone background is actually one of the characters.

Which one?

I’ll show you if I come over tonight.

My brothers might be in my room, though.

Okay, but, RE8 is an amazing game. So, worth it.

You won’t meet them normally but I pull out a game you love and you’re down?

I’m very easy to convince.

You still have notes to write when you come over though.

Oh yeah, I was probably going to have to come over both ways, just because I need those notes and you do too.

Do you not own a printer?

I barely even own a laptop, I’m waiting for my old one to come in the mail. 

How do you even manage?

With a whole lot of will and spite, anything is possible.

And that’s when her discord group chat @’ed her. She was on Do Not Disturb because she was Jason, and apparently they missed her.

Y/N! C’mere. One said.

Yes? Whatduhya want nerds?

We’ve decided to hold a fake internet wedding between you and Christopher. Another said.

A what.

We’re getting married!

Sometimes I wish I never left Metropolis and then I remember you fucks live there. Why are we doing this? You do know I have a boyfriend right? She asked them.

I don’t know, we’re bored and we miss you. We can have a bachelorette party in Gotham, if you want.

I’m this close to going back on DND.

The group chat was made way back when they had all first met in grade 9 and had been active ever since. They all had stayed in the city when they graduated though, but since Y/N received a scholarship, fully paid for, she took the opportunity and jumped.

They were some of her closest friends, even if they lived in a different city to her now, even if they were all busy with school, even if she was busy with school and a boyfriend, A lot of her life wouldn’t be complete without her crack friends in her hometown.

They had all ben partying like crazy while she was gone, and if she wasn’t so hung up in her own life, she’d probably be down there with them. 

Before you do, can you please explain why you’re screaming at the press, lmao.

Because fuck the press, dude. Why else? 

What did they do to you?

Have you seen the recent articles?

That’s true.

She laughed and finished her coffee. Jason had not responded yet, she assumed his brothers were either checking on him or they had started the game. It was around 8am when A/N finally left her room.

“I thought you were staying with Jason?”

“I was, but then I remembered he has like 9 siblings and I’m not about to meet them all. Then I walked home.”

“You walked?”

“Car got towed.”

“Fuck, can you afford the bill? I can’t.”

“Nope.”

“Guess we’re going to take the subway for a while, huh.”

She sighed and put her cup in the sink, “At least you don’t have school to go to and your lover comes to meet you, I have shit to do and places to be,” she frowned, “Inconvenient.”

“Could you borrow money from Jason’s dad?”

“I don’t borrow money from family, it’s hard enough for me to accept the money my parents send me.”

“I know it is, when’s your class?”

“3pm, I’ll be leaving at 12pm though, because the subway is unreliable.”

“This is going to be a hard hit for us.”

“Well, it’s not like it’s fucking your credit. Mine’s tanking.”

“You’ll pull through it.”

-------------------------------------------

She got onto the subway at 12:30pm. She really hated the way it was running. The people, the faces, the staring eyes of unwanted attention. People knew who she was and she hated it. She didn’t like the attention, she just liked the fucking with people. She wanted to get off the subway the minute she got on.

She eventually couldn’t take it and got off a few stops away, there was still a substantial walk towards the college, but she knew it would be. She even brought a leather jacket with her so that she could walk if she couldn’t take it anymore.

And there she was, in the busy streets of Gotham, walking to her college. Barely aware of the people who did stare at her, because she just kept walking, lost in her thought but aware of the people in her trail, the cross walks and the lights she was waiting for occasionally. She just kept walking until Artemis met up with her,

“Hey! I didn’t know you were walking to school today,” Artemis said.

“Oh! I didn’t want to, my car got towed though.”

“Your car got towed? That sucks so much. Well, we’re going the same way, so I’ve decided I’m going to walk with you, you get no say.”

“Of course. I was going to ask if you wanted to,” she laughed, “It’s more fun with a friend anyway, Art.”

“So, how are things with you and Jason, I’m legally obliged to ask as one of his friends.”

“Well, we made it official if that’s the kind of thing you want to hear,” she laughed again, “I’m sure it’s the answer Dick will eat up.”

“You’re right about that one. Dick’s a sucker for a romantic story, you should write one, since you write. He’d probably read it all.”

“Well, that would be fun, but I still don’t have my laptop.”

“You could use Jason’s?” Artemis suggested..

“Nah. It’ll be fine,” she said, “I’ll manage.”

“Aren’t you collecting notes for him for your psychology class?”

“I am, it’s not like he can go anywhere. I actually told him he’d need to walk eventually so that it’s not a learning curve when he’s healed.”

“That’s what all of us are telling him too, he’s a stubborn man, good luck with that one,” Artemis laughed, “He’s always been the stubborn friend. Worse than Will, actually, and Will is really bad with being stubborn.”

“It’s fine,” she laughed, “If you asked any of my Metropolis friends they’d say the same about me.”

“I bet you were quite the wild child in your heyday back in your city,” Artemis laughed, “I hate Metropolis.”

“Who doesn’t? It’s so crowded.”

“Uh, Clark doesn’t. He thrives there, no idea why, he grew up in Smallville. If anyone should be uncomfortable with Metropolis it should be the small-city country boy, but I guess it’s his thing.”

“I forget you know everyone.”

“We know a lot of people, are you’re slowly being let into our massive circle of very well-known people. Welcome to the group, I guess,” she laughed, “You'll either hate or love the fame that comes from this.”

“Well, if its paparazzi and press, I think I’ll hate it.”

“I can promise you right now that it’s not all paparazzi and press, we haven’t been bothered today, probably because we are on the move.”

“You shouldn’t say that, you’ll jinx it.”

“I know a lot about not jinxing it, but that’s a story for another time,” Y/N noticed that when Artemis said this her eyes glazed over and she looked upset.

“You don’t ever have to talk to me about something you’re not ready to talk about,” Y/N reassured her.

“Hey, the trauma makes me funny.”

“Two can play that game.”

They would ramble on for the rest of the walk to their college. Nothing really of substance, just getting to know each other further. She was glad she found a friend in Artemis, it would have sucked if the two of them didn’t get along, but with each word they exchanged, they had so much fun.

She even told Artemis about that time she played Katherine Howard in her school’s budget play of Six - The Musical. She was proud of the riffs she was able to do, but she didn’t talk about it often. She was never the type of brag about her achievements, no matter how amazing they were.

But Artemis and Y/N parted ways and Y/N went to her class and wrote the same, boring, scribbly and barely legible notes. She figured eventually she’d need nicer handwriting, but did she want to work on it? No.

When she finished, she saw Artemis and who she could only assume to be Wally, at Artemis’ class doors. She waved to Artemis, before Artemis called her over.

“Y/N! Hey, I would ask how class is, but this is Wally,” she gestured to the red-head boy beside her, and Y/N held out her hand to shake Wally’s.

“Hi, Wally.”

“Y/N. It’s nice to meet you since Jason can’t shut up about you and my girlfriend likes you a lot.”

“Well that's sweet of you Artemis. You’re just so in love with me,” Y/N joked.

“Girl. You know it,” Artemis joked back.

“You two already have a close bond? That’s impressive,” Wally said, “Never seen anyone win over any of my friends this quickly,” he muttered.

They joked for a little while longer, just getting to know Wally before she had to go, she had to get to Jason’s.

The walk was a while away, so she went and sat on a park bench for a minute to check her phone, Jason had texted her.

Hey baby, are you coming over?

I am, yes. I actually just met Wally.

You met Wally and I wasn’t there to see it? C’mon.

Artemis introduced us! Go yell at her.

Oh. Never mind. I won’t do that.

Ha! Scared of her?

Maybe a little, she can be scary, okay?

You can’t tell but I’m laughing at you.

Dhmu.

That’s fine, I’ll just go hang out with Alfred and not you. He seems like he would be spiteful like me.

That’s unfair.

I thought you said don’t hit me up?

Fuck.

Checkmate.

I am upset.

No you’re not.

No I’m not.

She would walk down the street further, maybe within a couple steps to reach the Manor, when a man dragged her into an alleyway. She yelped.

“Uh, hello? Can I help you?” she asked, pretending she wasn’t terrified.

“How much would Bruce give me for you?” the attacker mumbled before he tried to knock her to the ground, but she had another plan.

He grabbed her, put his face close to hers, and she head-butted him, he would stumble back, and she started running to the Manor.

“Come here you fucking bitch!” he screamed. She could feel her nose bleeding as she ran and ran, the security saw her and pulled her into the gateway before drawing their guns and urging her to run to the steps of the Manor.

And she ran. The security at the door saw her and let her in, and yelled for Alfred.

“What is this nonsense, oh,” Alfred paused when he saw the blood running out of Y/N’s nose, “Miss Y/N, what happened to you?” he asked before grabbing her hand and pulling her into the entry-way bathroom and opening a first-aid kit.

“Okay so, what happened was I was walking to the Manor because my car got towed right? And this fucking bastard dude pops out from an alleyway and pulls me into it, asks some bullshit about how much Bruce would pay for me, when he grabbed me and tried to knock me down, when I head-butted him and started running,” she said, completely unphased.

Alfred didn’t respond to her and started to stop the bleeding when Bruce called for him, “In the entry-way bathroom, Master Wayne!” he answered.

Bruce came around the corner and saw Alfred was already tending to Y/N, “Well, this is the event where I meet my son’s girlfriend, when she is bleeding and running from a strange man in an alleyway.”

“Heh, sorry,” she said and outstretched her hand to shake his, “It’s nice to finally meet you, Bruce.”

“I can tell you’re going to be quite the addition to this household,” he said as he took her hand and shook it, “As long as you’re okay.”

“I’m okay.”

“That’s good. I guess you can’t get mad at Jase for being a reckless man now.”

“I really can’t.”

“Alright, you should be good, Miss Y/N.”

“Thank you, Alfred. But you really didn’t have to.”

“I’ve been taking care of 5 boys and 3 girls since most of them were little, Miss Y/N. A little blood is really no big deal for me to handle.”

“That’s obvious.”

“You can go see the boys now, they’re going to ask you though,” Bruce said.

“I know.”

She walked to Jason’s room, hoping that he wouldn’t have all of his siblings in the room, he did though.

“Hey, Y/N- what the fuck happened to you?” Jason exclaimed when she opened the door.

“Oh great, all your siblings are here. Anyway, I guess,” she paused, taking in a big breath so she could run through the events quickly, “So I was walking here ‘cause my car got towed, right? When some fucking bastard man grabs me and yanks me into an alleyway and starts going off about how much Bruce will pay him to get me back or something,” she paused again, “And when he tried to knock me down by getting really close and personal to my face, like an idiot I should add, I head-butted him.”

“You did what?’

“I’m not done yet, met your dad when I actually had blood running out of my nose because that's just my fucking luck. Okay, now you can be disappointed in me,” she joked.

“I will say again, you did what?”

“Something stupid?” she said.

“You could say that again, my god, what went through your head?”

“Uh, nothing. Just survival. Fight or flight but I head-butted a man, and hi, everyone.”

“Hi, Y/N, I’m Dick,” Dick said, “You clearly are meant for Jason,” he joked, “That's something he would do.”

“Don’t encourage her, Dick!”

Stephanie got up and greeted her, “You know, Y/N, I always wanted a crazy sister,” she joked, “I’m Stephanie, the black-haired girl is Cass, and the red-head is Barbara.”

“Me too,” Cass hopped onto the joke.

“It’s something else when you meet the girl your brother is dating after she head-butted a man, apparently,” Y/N laughed, “I know it’s far-fetched-”

“Not really,” Tim cut her off, “You know Jason protected Will when they were attacked?”

“That’s Tim, by the way,” Dick said.

“So you can’t yell at me for head-butting a man!” Y/N joked at Jason while going to sit beside him, he slinged an arm around her shoulder and leant his head into her head.

“Well, you seem like a nice enough girl,” Barbara said, “Take away the reckless behavior, and you are lovely.”

“That is valid, to be honest. Not exactly the way you want to meet your brother’s girlfriend.”

“You think?” Jason asked, sarcastically.

“Ha ha.”

“See, she thinks I’m funny, why can’t you fucks?”

Y/N laughed and then asked Dick, who was playing RE8 at the time, staring at the photo of Donna Bentiveno, “She’s cute, isn’t she, Dick?”

“Have I been staring?”

“Let’s just say Angie is probably very pissed at you.”

“Oh! Whoops. There’s a point to this, I forgot.”

“I don’t blame you, I remember forgetting there was a point and the little bitch devil doll would attack you.”

“Language.”

“Oh no, you’re lame. Gross.”

“Excuse me?” Dick asked as the rest of the room erupted in laughter.

“Do you guys see why I like her now?” Jason asked.

“Uh no, she’s mean,” Dick said.

“You’re going to die if you don’t start paying attention, Dick,” Y/N said.

“Oh!” and he died.

“And that kids, is why we listen to the person who’s 100%’ed the game.”

------------------------------

Y/N and Jason would spend hours with his brothers and sisters until the sun started to set and they all scattered to their own rooms to  do their own things. you can’t keep a lot of kids in one room for so long.

Once everyone left, Y/N placed her hands on Jason and kissed him, she was actually able to be laid on his pillow, he was able to pin her to the bed. And they did just that. He was on top of her, using his one arm to prop himself up and using his other hand to touch her face.

Her hands found their way into his hair like they always did, she found a lot of joy in playing with his hair. Their tongues danced together, they never fought or anything, they just enjoyed each other when Jason let out a small moan and she let out a small laugh.

“Keep it in your pants, Tiger,” she joked, “You’re not fully healed.”

“You literally smashed your face into another man but I can’t moan when I kiss you?”

“Because I know you want more.”

“Hell yeah I do,” he said as he went back for more, actually using his strength to keep her to the bed, but she didn’t protest this time.