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1d1195 · 8 days ago

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Sam!!!! IVE MISSED YOU LOADS💕💕💕 I cannot explain how much I miss talking to you!!

You are the best teacher for the kids and I have absolutely no doubt they feel the same way! Even if some can’t see it now, once time passes they’ll be able to see how much it means to them!

I wasn’t trying to be cryptic or anything about when I’m graduating 😭 I simply just can’t remember dates off the top of my head lol but i graduate on the 14th!! Thank you so much for being so kind!!! Also I fear I won’t have much of a break because I have managed to have secured a job! I start a week after I graduate!

I’m glad that you were able to see your friend especially if she’s really easy to be around with! Have you been able to get that manicure yet?? Have we tried a new or your classic shade of blue??

NOT YOU REMEMBERING ABOUT THE NOSE BAHAHAH that is truly my legacy, noses and dilfs lol tell me why this mf wear shorts(they’re not slutty, like actually pretty normal length lol) everyday and every time they get me 😭 i honestly i do be wanting to chomp on them and make them up😔 I AM NO BETTER THAN A MAN😭 and like idk if I’ve mentioned but he’s also on the “younger” side of professors?? Like MAX he’s in his late 30s. So my brain goes crazy lol

Anyways lol omg how cute!!! I love the idea of you having math/school related theme jewelry!! It’s so adorable!!! I bet they are so cute!!! I saw an insta reel about this small business having “career themed” hair claw clips and they have a calculator with pi on them! I immediately thought that you needed to see them!!

DO YOU HAVE A NEW BASEBALL BF?!? How was the book if you were able to read it??

I’m so sorry you’ve been feeling so overwhelmed:( and i understand that sometimes you just need your moments to feel it all. It doesn’t make you dramatic in any way, your feelings are so valid and in the end you aren’t perfect! You are allowed to have these moments of feeling down and it can be hard to when it feels like no one can be there for you. I hope that the feeling has been slowly going away at least! You know I genuinely love you with my whole heart, so bestie really you truly are never alone in this💕I love you!

Yay to almost finishing this school year!!! I hope you can enjoy some nice moments relaxing and going to the beach before you start teaching summer school! I think it’s so sweet you write your students a little note 😭 my heart😭

You know I love all the Harry’s you write! Of course I obsess on some more than others (tbh they rotate every few weeks lol these past few weeks have been Most and Sun kissed! In March I think I was back on Protection, Ding and Dolcezza!) but I love them all! Though I cannot lie Traditional Harry is crazy and irl I would not let it slide but if given a chance would I take it? YES!!!

Sam :( I hate that those people have hurt you in some type of way! Of course there’s more to the story and lots of people try to justify with “just being kids” but kids can still be cruel! And even as adults one can try to forgive and move past it but those emotions and experiences still leave an imprint on you! I obviously can’t tell you to “drop them” and I would never want to overstep either I’m well aware that it can be more complex than that especially with adult friendships! However if you feel that you deserve to be treated better then I say do what’s best for you!! Anyways I hope the trip was enjoyable overall and you were able to have some fun!

I’m really overwhelmed tbh lol as you know the horrendous quarter system makes it kinda difficult to catch a break lol I’m in week 9 so technically two more weeks are left for me bc I include finals week. Anyways tbh idk what we really are learning in math lol I think we maybe be starting improper integrals??? Idk girl lol my family is okay! My mom is significantly better thankfully! Oh have you seen the newest season of the bear is coming out??? Very excited for that lol

I recently went to a drag show/competition which was SO FUN!!! I kinda fell in love with a drag king because their performance was just too good! It was nice to get to enjoy that! Ngl I’m really looking forward to dying my hair! I’m a currently this odd shade of BLONDE with my darks roots😭 I did have a red but that faded pretty quickly which sucked! Not a fan of being blonde lol though I’m not sure what color I’m doing next lol

How are you doing?! Anything fun or exciting? Have you tried any new recipes lately?

Ugh Sam I’ve missed you so much as you know! I hope that you have found sometime to treat yourself and relax! LOVE YOU!!-💜

No you're good! I get it, school is school and by the end it's kind of like the motions of showing up and getting to graduation 😂 but still exciting!

BESTIE YOU ARE WAY TOO CASUAL CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 what's your job going to be? A week break will be great and hopefully easing into your work environment will be good!!!

No manicure, graduation for my seniors is next week so I'm thinking it will be a Tuesday/Wednesday project. Omg the blue call out 😂🤭 you know me so well! I will probs do blue because it's the school colors and I always try to do that, BUT the outfit I plan on wearing is a green/teal color so I maybe I'll do that.

Noses and dilfs I'm screaming. Shorts can be normal length and still slutty. There's no need to have your guy thighs out in an academic setting I would lose my mind.

OKAY GOOGLING HAIR CLIP. My hair is pretty curly--it will probably eat the clip, but it's for the plot so I have to.

Oh, I might have a baseball bf he's VERY sweet, comforting, and SO obsessed with the main girl. He was pining for her for THREE YEARS and would do ANYTHING to see her smile. Plus he had stellar guy thighs (as they were described to me) great story. The last book in the series is out and it's back to hockey, but I fear that basketball bf is still on top. In the other books I don't LOVE the character that this last book will be about but I'm keeping an open mind.

I am feeling much less overwhelmed now thank god. I was high key losing it. When it rains it pours and May is just not it. But we made it to the end! I think I will have some relaxing moments and I'm not nearly as worried about summer school the way I was last year. Once I do something once I'm like WAY calmer. I'm a lead by example and if I don't have a guide or exemplar to work from at the start I get a little (lot) anxious. Not to toot my own horn but I think I'm a thoughtful teacher, I love them so much like they're my own and the district I work in, I think sometimes these notes are the only praise they get. I just like them to know I'm in their corner and whatnot.

Dolcezza has a VERY special place in my heart. I think I modeled her a little too closely to myself 🙈 I go back to them a lot to reread tbh. Ding was/is so fun, I'd like to be her in another life. Most and Sun Kissed is quite the dichotomy you got there hahahaha I would sell my soul for Traditional Harry you don't have to explain it to me.

It was pretty indirect to me. I've mentioned I'm not a particularly petite lady and they were all the thin, pretty, popular girls that guys tripped over themselves to get to. I think I have a pretty killer personality (DUFF if you will, lol) But genuinely, I just don't like mean people. Even to my worst enemies or coworkers who do not have my whole heart I never wish for bad things to happen to them, I root for them to do well, etc. Idk, TPWK and all that, costs nothing to be kind that sort of thing.

I'm a Derivative > Integral girly (probs doesn't mean a lot to you) but you're not wrong to feel the way that you do. Integrals have a whole extra set of un-intuitive rules that I do not care for. Derivatives are so much more logical (thank you for coming to my math talk, which is obviously why you're really here).

Excellent about your fam! Especially your mom! I did see about The Bear! VERY excited!!! Very nice that you did something fun and I love that for you! I'm glad you enjoyed the performance you need something lighthearted and fun!!! 💕 So blondes do not have more fun! Good to know! Dying your hair and starting a new job sounds like a really fun transition! I love that for you and I can't wait to hear what you decide!

I'm doing so much better. Still got quite a few things going on. 0 time to cook. I just bought an airfryer and I've got to do some research for some good recipes. I have 0 plans of fun or excitement until the school year is over and then my excitement will consist of beach and reading hopefully. I don't want to do ANYTHING lol May exhausted me.

I MISS AND LOVE YOU TOO!!!!

xoxo

#💜

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scoups4lyfe · 3 years ago

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Kamen Rider Revice and Intentional Writing Part 1-A

Ikki’s childhood trauma and how it’s impacted him as an adult

Warnings: Spoilers, mentions of self-harm and suicidal ideation, mental illnesses, and toxic familial relationships (Spoilers up to ep 19)

Previous Revice analysis: 1 , 2 , 3.1 , 3.2 , 3.3 , 4

Bonus: Igarashi Ways to Affection + Sibs Theme 1a & 1b

In light of the events that happened at the hospital in episode 18— I decided to analyze why Ikki said ….everything that he said 👀 😔

Haha… 🙃😔😔😶💀💀💀....Well, I already knew the reason he was the way that he is….But just recently I was watching a therapist react to things on youtube and found out there’s an *actual* term for Ikki’s….uh *gestures to all of him*. And after some research I decided to present you with it:

IKKI’S EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE + Why Vice even EXISTS

In my very first Revice analysis I presented my theory on…( idk?) how Revice’s writer was actually an evil mastermind spittin’ mad genius and we were all fools that didn’t know how to read. LoL— Basically I was vomiting out my theories on Ikki’s psychology based on the role he has in his family.

“I discovered (from analyzing their family scenes) that Ikki — from a young age, has been the one raising his siblings, both Daiji and Sakura, while their parents were focused elsewhere.” — “My theory is that the mother is so busy taking care of the father …that Ikki ends up getting front-loaded with raising his siblings and having to take on the bathhouse responsibilities, even at a young age.”

Anyways this isn’t a theory anymore (It's fact), LOL. If I"m wrong about this then I'll eat my damn shirt, put on clown makeup, and do household chores for a week.

That's How SURE I am.

Now, onto the facts:

During my youtube binges I heard the term: ‘Caretaker Personality’.... and was like ‘Hmmmm’. And (of course)--- decided to do some research.

(Taken from the online article: WHEN CARETAKING BECOMES AN UNHEALTHY EQUILIBRIUM):

“Caretaking, also referred to as compulsive helping, is an addictive behavior that, while lesser known, is still highly destructive, according to Dr. Robert Lefever, a prominent addiction specialist in the UK. Caretaking can be more insidious than an addiction to substances such as drugs or alcohol, making it extremely difficult to identify and treat.”

“Lefever defines compulsive helping as “the need to be needed.” There’s nothing unusual about the desire to be needed, but like other addictions, caretaking is a behavior taken to an extreme… Rather than helping, (their caring) turns out to be both self-destructive and harmful to others.”

“Reasons individuals are drawn to caretaking include the following:

-They are continuing the role they had while in their family of origin.

-They feel powerless in their own lives; trying to fix others provides some semblance of control.

-They feel their own life is out of control and that it’s easier to “solve” the problems of another than deal with their own.

-Others’ problems are a distraction from their own.

-They don’t trust others to live their own lives the way they “should” and think they are the only one capable of helping.

-They are perfectionists and are uncomfortable with mistakes made by themselves and others.

-They have trouble with boundaries and feel they are responsible for everyone else.

-They feel selfish if they focus on themselves.”

…

"Caretaking is one of the ways the ego wounded self tries to protect against rejection, as well as a way to not feel your own and others' pain.

When you are a caretaker, you put your own inner child in a closet and take care of another's inner child with the hope that the other person will feel loved and then eventually take your inner child out of the closet and love you.

Caretakers have a lack of empathy when it comes to themselves, even though they are greatly empathetic to other people."

"When I was growing up, my role was to caretake others’ feelings in my family unit. When I say “caretake” I mean that I masked my own emotional experience in order to take care of the other person’s feelings. My emotions often went on the back burner, and I attempted to present myself as “the little ray of sunshine” that I was nicknamed. I understood from an early age that I received the most validation and positive affirmation when I didn’t speak my true feelings. My family had enough problems, so I became silent and good and processed my negative emotions quietly and alone. I did everything I could to avoid making others feel uncomfortable. I learned to value others’ superficial happiness over my own voice and truth.

To this day my family members comment on how “strong” I am, how “resilient,” and how I “always land on my feet.” While I believe these things to be true about myself, I consider these descriptions as only part of my story. The vulnerable part of me that does feel very deeply and often longs to be messy and supported by those I love most can still feel unseen."

...

end of the caretaker quotations (Articles: "My Role as a Caretaker" + 'Why being a caretaker causes problems in relationships')

Sounds like Ikki doesn’t it?

(Also take note of the ‘inner child’ comment….we’ll be coming back to that)

So after reading a plethora of articles about the caretaker personality, I got down to the root of the issue……. (and also discovered the psychological term of what you’d call what happened to Ikki, that in hindsight — should’ve been obvious).

Ikki is what you would call a “Parentified” child.

(lol)

Now, in my first Revice analysis post and further expanded in the second; I stated that Ikki parented his siblings and that it affected how he grew up/how he still is to this day. But I never went too deeply into what exactly this meant for Ikki and how it would affect him.

This was, in part, because I was only looking at half the picture. Like I *knew* intuitively what that meant and how it was affecting him, but I’m not a licensed psychologist so I don’t have the *details* on what went on or how exactly it shaped all of Ikki’s development into who he is today.

Now I do.

So let’s start defining terms.

(From: The Trauma of Parentification article)

“Parentification is defined as the phenomenon where children take caregiving responsibilities and assume such a role for their parents, siblings or other family members, at the expense of their own developmental needs.”

— There are two main types of parentification; emotional parentification and instrumental parentification.”

….

For the sake of this analysis, I’ll only focus on Emotional parentification, as that is the type of parentification Ikki experienced.

(From Growing Up Too Quickly: Parentified Children):

“Emotional parentification is when the child feels responsible for the emotional wellbeing of others in the family. The child might be depended upon for emotional support from a parent, but not get emotional support in return. They might also be depended upon for emotional support by siblings, for example, if the parents are neglectful or abusive, the child might be the one to make their siblings feel safe and loved.”

— “(It’s) when the child becomes a source of constant emotional support and caregiving to their parent or sibling, such as when they become the confidant or counsellor of the parent, who may share intimate details about their worries and personal lives, that a child is neither prepared nor equipped to know about.”

(I'll mention the above screenshot later.)

…

(Trauma of Parentified Children):

“Out of the two (types), emotional parentification has more serious traumatic effects.

The effects are worsened and more destructive for the development of the child, the more the care-giving efforts of the child become the normalized expectation that is further not recognized, rewarded or acknowledged by their parents. If there are more than one child in the family, usually the eldest, or otherwise the most sensitive, compassionate and vulnerable, is “chosen” to be parentified.”

(on why it’s so destructive):

"Essentially, parentification means becoming the parent when you are actually the child- thus it is a theft of childhood that can never be returned.

Parentification in a family includes inappropriate, high-level adult responsibilities, combined with unrealistic expectations by younger children looking to older siblings for the satisfaction of their needs to be met. This process is a great danger to the developing child because it depletes the child’s resources and constitutes a role reversal and role corruption. It is a huge burden of responsibility that is both uncalled for, and impossible to adequately respond to.

It is actually a form of unequivocal emotional abuse and exploitation that stems from neglect."

(For now I’ll just be directly quoting from ``The Trauma of Parentification” article <33. It’s so good.)

[Characteristics of Parentification]

Absent Parent + Unmet Needs

“the parent may be unaware, unavailable, uninterested, or unable to attend to their child’s needs. The parent may be physically there, but emotionally absent-”

“The child then unwillingly becomes a

“need satisfying object”,

that is there to nurture and please their parent and is praised for not having or expressing their own needs.”

“All children have basic needs of attention, affection, and guidance by their primary caregivers.

Parentified children are, for whichever reason, forced to grow up early and faster than they “should” have. They don’t get to fully experience the carelessness of their childhood, and they learn to ignore and neglect their own needs- simply because there was no real space for this to happen. — Parentified children learn that this is what a parent-child relationship is supposed to be like- so they subsequently learn that the only way to earn gratification is through caregiving and not expressing their own needs.”

The saddest part of this section of the article:

“Hope keeps them in this position- hope that if they continue their efforts, they will finally be loved and seen; even though more often than not, their hopes remain empty and not granted.”

Damn this makes me so angry and furious on Ikki’s behalf :///. Wtf.

Referring back to the 2nd picture above; one of the edits is a shot of Ikki & Vice's VOLCANO Theme. Notice Ikki's lyrics:

"I want to feel accepted. -- Though it might be my ego...."

This line really hurts, because it just says exactly what these articles are telling us -- that Ikki wants to feel loved and seen. Even worse, is his next line about it possibly being his ego. Ikki has such low self-esteem that he second guesses his own feelings on his parents' neglect, instead placing himself in the morally wrong category. "Perhaps its not their fault he's not accepted as he is. Perhaps its his own." -- That's essentially what Ikki's thinking.

'Maybe the reason I'm feeling like this, is because i'm in the wrong. I'm not good. I don't deserve it.'

The scene above from episode 12 depicts this perfectly. Here, there is obviously something wrong with Ikki — even the father says “Hey why aren’t you eating? That's rare! You always eat.” And then the next immediate conclusion drawn….was that something must have happened to Sakura. Of course, Ikki quickly reassures them. And THEN the parents lament about how Sakura usually comes to Mama-san; “That girl loves to act tough. But it’s always clear how anxious she is 😠😠.”

The look on Ikki’s face as she says this, is absolutely devastating. The face he’s making is such a vulnerable one….its so obvious that he wants his mom to see him too. (See that he acts tough but that he’s really anxious too.) But of course, he doesn’t express his own needs. He neglects them, and immediately after seeing his mom anxious about Sakura what does he do? He finishes his meal (so as not to concern his parents), stands, puts on his typical Ikki-smile and tells them not to worry because he’ll handle it.

…

[The Effects of Parentification]

Identity development

“Parentified individuals may find it hard to view themselves as their own person, since they have been used to always putting their own needs aside. Their identity actually depends on their ability to suppress their needs. In most cases, there wasn’t even the space for them to be seen, listened to and regarded with respect.

Since it is likely that their family already had too many problems to cope with, it is not surprising that they learned to be quiet, voiceless and without demands. In adulthood, this results in low self-worth and self-esteem, and a confusion around what it means to be and express themselves.”

Self-expression and Self-care

“Since parentified children learn from an early age that they are not allowed to have their own needs or wishes, this in adulthood translates into an individual who has difficulty employing self-care, asserting their own wishes and boundaries, and expressing their True Self.

Self-care may be accompanied by intense feelings of guilt and shame- they are so used to inhibiting their self-expression, that doing otherwise feels wrong, and self-care feels selfish.

In the above screenshot, the moment of Sakura telling Ikki to go to the hospital happens in episode 10. This is right after his fight with Kagerou....who almost killed him.

Ikki's whole world has come crashing down on him, he's hurt mentally, emotionally, AND physically. His sister is even worriedly telling him to go to the hospital, but Ikki just quietly....shakes his head no. He feels guilt about failing his role as protector of the family, failing at keeping everything together. Why would he go to the hospital when this is all his fault? In Ikki's mind he deserves this pain. Going to the hospital right now, when Daiji's not safe at home with them ('because of him') would be selfish.

"They may be driven to please others, have difficulty saying no, because some of the core beliefs that were engrained to them while growing up were “If I am a good girl/boy, if I am compliant, obedient, quiet and without own needs, then I will be loved/ approved of/ cared about/ not be abused”.

Emotional Regulation

“Chronic stress such as the stress endured by a parentified child under adverse circumstances can be toxic in the absence of a dependable and reliable adult. The child may appear highly capable to tend for themselves and others, very mature for their age, resilient and even wise beyond years- but they lack the safe haven of a secure attachment figure that is vital for the development of emotional regulation.

So later on in life, parentified adult children may struggle to regulate and cope with their own negative emotions, and may develop a high emotional reactivity and sensitivity that makes them susceptible to emotional outbursts.

The screenshot below shows a couple of things.

First, it show a compilation of scenes where Ikki suddenly lashes out in anger. On the top left of the picture, Kagerou's taunting Ikki -- telling him that he's the reason why Daiji's broken, that he's the one that caused it. (That he hurt the family....) Ikki, after taking these kinds of taunts one after the other, can't take this one---he explodes, yelling emotionally: "You're wrong!!!"

Then the top right shows a scene from episode 2. Here Daiji's just asked Ikki to sign a contract with Fenix, and Vice is trying to get him to agree with it. Hearing Vice say: 'you can help him by signing' triggers an emotionally volatile reaction as Ikki yells: "And you need to can it!" Likewise the clip below this scene is also Ikki lashing out at Vice, this time for calling his mother delicious in the hospital.

These are examples of Ikki displaying high emotional reactivity, sensitivity, and him being susceptible to emotional outbursts.

Severe anxiety, depression, psychological distress in the form of mental health disorders (such as personality disorders and eating disorders), substance addiction, and Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder may develop as a result- since trauma is often the basis for such implications in adult life.”

Here we have examples of Ikki displaying: anxiety, depression, and general psychological distress.

Ikki actually has a lot of scenes that subtly show him with severe anxiety. The ‘worrywort’ scene of course, All the way back up to the second screenshot in this post, there’s a scene where Ikki and Sakura are talking and Ikki tells her (The reason he doesn’t want her to fight):

“For me, it’s because I’m deathly afraid of losing anyone from our family.”

Ikki, as a parentified child, feels he is the one that needs to protect and make sure no one in the family gets hurt.

Compulsive Caring

These people are very likely to find themselves in similar relational patterns in adulthood. The only way they learned to relate, was through being of service and providing caregiving- so it is extremely possible that they have to be the primary caregivers for their own partners and friends, since they never learned anything different.

The only affectionate bond available is the one where they always must be the caregiver.

Abusive Relationships, Victimhood and Martyrdom

Parentified adult children are more likely to be entangled in abusive relationships later on, out of false hope that if they give their all to someone else, they will be loved. They have been too busy caring for others to process their own trauma, thus they are likely to reproduce it. Their self-sacrifice for others may make them be a martyr to gain love, often being the victim of abuse.

Trauma bonding and Insecure Attachment Styles

Parentified children inevitably develop a distorted image of what love is supposed to be like, thereby growing up to be quite distrustful of interpersonal relationships overall. Complicated attachment patterns emerge as a result.

Trauma bonding is a very destructive implication. Victims of child maltreatment (which also includes parentification) become caregivers of their abusers. This results in the development of a toxic, codependent dynamic between parent and child, that continues in adult life and is extremely challenging to break free from- a process that is greatly facilitated by trauma-informed therapy.

Trauma bonding may result in the development of insecure attachment styles; either disorganized attachment, anxious attachment, or avoidant attachment.

It is not surprising that resentment builds up for the parent, coupled with emotional distancing. Yet an unresolvable longing for the approval, validation and love for the parent still remains, indicating the presence of a disorganized attachment style that follows the person in adult life too, where intimacy is both craved for and avoided, both a longing and a great threat. This sets the ground for pulling-and-pushing patterns within intimate relationships. The individual may be too afraid to come close to others, out of a fear that they will exploit them just as it happened early on in life

In the screenshot above; on the left Ikki displays shock/panic/embarrassment at Vice asking if they should hug -- immediately saying no. But on the left + the middle “partner?” screenshot show Ikki’s true feelings when it comes to affection/intimacy. He loves it. This,....is all he ever really wanted.

To not have to worry about anything, to be able to act freely -- especially in the childish manner that he never had the space to display when he actually *was* a child. Physical and intimate affection.....

There’s no need to guess why Vice giving him a piggy-back ride has Ikki finally showing his first true genuine smile of the show -- 18 episodes in.

...

Otherwise, an anxious attachment style develops. Parentified children did not receive the care to cover their emotional needs, so they remain eternally emotionally hungry. A pervasive, unsatisfied neediness and craving for care follows them in their relationships, though they may be unable to voice their wishes

I bolded here the “eternally emotionally hungry” line here because....well? Doesn’t that explain why Vice wants the eat his family members?? It’s because he’s starved of affection + the repressed aggression of being placed in such a position of responsibility at a young age.

Vice wanting to eat them----would be Ikki’s childish craving/desire and need to finally secure and possess their love.

...

Complicated Family Relationships

As discussed above, parentification usually results in trauma bonding between parent and child, where the child both resents but also longs for the parent.

But it is expected that complicated relationship patterns will develop between siblings, too. In a family where the parent is unable to provide love and care, it is no surprise that the parentified siblings often develop symbiotic, codependent relationships with each other, since they only really have each other to fulfil their emotional needs.

:///

Delay in Trauma Awareness

Parentified children may delay to become aware of the trauma they endured, since it was difficult to look inwards and become conscious of their own needs. After all, children are inclined to be loyal and trusting of their parents, even when this hurts. This may make it hard to develop insights about their situation and the effects this had on them.

[Not all bad - Ending article note]

It is not all dark for parentified adult children. Like with all trauma, parentified children are essentially survivors, and as such may possess a greater capacity for resilience and self-efficacy. After all, they did learn from an early age that it is safer to depend on themselves rather than anyone else.

Moreover, parentified children may have a heightened sense of empathy and an ability to closely connect to others.

— Trauma of Parentification Article

In theawarenesscenter’s article of Parentification: Growing Up Too Quickly, Parentified Children; there is a section where the writer talks about how victims of Parentification can overcome it.

(And this is where we need to remember that ‘inner-child’ line from allllllll the way at the start of this analysis/essay/whatever.)

“Recovery from parentification in adulthood involves acknowledging your childhood for what it was and grieving for the childhood that you didn’t have. It involves re-parenting yourself in adulthood; learning how healthy relationships work, learning and exploring healthy boundaries in relationships, and finding ways to let go of burdens and responsibilities that are not yours to carry.”

Notice what I bolded in the above quote. “Acknowledging your childhood, grieving, and re-parenting yourself in adulthood.” Is this not essentially what Ikki is doing right now with Vice?

In my earlier analysis posts I posited that Vice was the literal embodiment of Ikki’s inner child, the one he never got to be, and all of these articles just shake my hand in agreement. This is what Vice is, this is why he acts the way that he does, and it is also why Ikki is shown parenting Vice. (Episode 2 — ‘This is not a joke!’; — Basically all the episode where Ikki admonishes Vice for something that, Vice being a child, would not know, and teaching him right from wrong. #’NO Vice. We do nOT transform to beat up the people we dislike. And we also do nOT *EAT* people.’)

Anyways. This is my full Ikki analysis on his trauma lol. I could’ve posted this like 6 hours ago but I was editing screenshots and hOO boi. I hope it doesn’t get too pixelated but I really did my darnedest to make the dialogue readable ;’DD.

Revice Intentional Writing Analysis #5: The genius of episode 4 ft. 3 will be up shortly.

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jayflrt · 3 years ago

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hey alice(can i call you that?) i got to know about the plagiarism situation you faced from sei and im so sad to know that you were lied to and gslit. it was terrible of [beep] to do that to someone, and it's even more disappointing because she doesn't seem to be genuine. the new users on enha tumblr have been turning out to be super untrustworthy. and it's very upsetting to see that people think it's okay to steal from here cause the content is all put out for free and the fact that they "feel bad" only after being caught after constant accusations. personally i have also faced plagiarism and have even caught someone plagiarizing other people and honestly it feels really awful. i can immediately see how these people are not actually always genuinely apologetic rather it's a situation of "oh fk sht i've been caught it's time to hop on to a new blog and a new name" sometimes i feel insecure putting out my works wondering if there's anyone whose using my hard work as their own it's sickening to think they probably have no shame in claiming it as their own and gaining innocent people's trust. idk how many people i trust/follow/look up to or know have scummed to ways of plagiarism but i really hope if they have they stop doing it. and i hope you don't have to come across something like this again. it's less likely though considering the increasing number of incidents coming to light recently. i feel like those who have got caught and deactivated probably could have already made another new blog with a new identity and we don't even know if they on here looking through our blogs, interacting and trying to get moots again. this might be not entirely true but i feel like one among the many reasons could be the average age of our fandom. there are more of minors on here than adults, and that too minors on the younger side as well. it's difficult for some teens to figure out what's not right, one of which is posting someone else's work after modifying it. which is essentially plagiarism but certain minds think of it as not just because they modified it. this is not an excuse or justification but rather im just stating why it could be so casual here. some network admins as well even though putting plagiarism will not be accepted in the rules still keep the guilty ones in the network. i just hope the people who plagiarize and don't feel guilty, someday learn from it. (THAT WAS SUCH A LONG RANT IM SO SRRY I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF😵) hope you're doing okay <33

hihi !! yeonie, right ?? :o i think i’ve seen your jay fic around !! 🤩 and yes ofc you can call me alice 🥰💕 (omfg i thought you meant sei plagiarized and i was about to be like NONONONO) but ahh yes it’s super disappointing :(( this site should just be for supporting each other and creating content that we like. i wish it wouldn’t have to turn into a chore for people to constantly grind out fics, and i feel like that’s another way people start getting into the habit of copying other authors works :/ but i agree, it’s hard to trust because of it but i hope it stops !! 🤧

and i’m so sorry that you’ve experienced that love, no one deserves that :(( did you manage to get them to take it down?? i remember there used to be a wave of people from wattpad plagiarizing several authors from tumblr and putting all of them in a oneshot book <//3 it’s absolutely horrible and i don’t understand why people are so adamant on taking people’s own creative work like that ,, like the amount of thought and dedication that writers pour into their fics just for someone to copy paste 😔

and you’re so right 😭😭 i already know there are instances of people who start anew after getting exposed for plagiarism and it’s kinda scary to think about them doing it again :// i hope recent events set an example and help people realize they really shouldn’t be doing this, but i guess we’ll see with time :’)

that’s true as well !! this fandom specifically has a younger audience so i think it’s more prevalent here(??) and yeahh i hope it’s reinforced that paraphrasing and stealing of ideas counts just as much :(( taking an author’s intellectual property is just wrong and disrespectful. i don’t know much about network admins but the few that i’ve talked to have been really sweet and good about keeping people in line. the ones you’re referring to who let plagiarists slide ,, i do hope they take a stand and stop tolerating such behavior 😞 and i hope they learn from their mistakes too ! at some point ppl have to realize how childish it is to steal work <//3 AHAHHA DW AB THE LENGTH I ENJOYED THE READ >:) and i’m doing p good !! just have a lot due for tomorrow HAHAH hbu ?? :o i hope you’re doing alright as well ! and have a great day/night love 🌷💗

#💌 : jayflrt love notes #wonvelvet

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misosovp · 3 years ago

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ok maybe it's bc i tried sending a pic of my doggie on anon😖 i'll try to remember everything i said...

sooo those pics are beautiful she's truly so gorgeous 🥺 is that her kitty? women + kitties = ♡ .. rec some twice songs?💗

+ i like ladies codes songs but i dont know much about them or your girl! i think my fave is lorelei<3 rec me her solo songs too (⊼⌔⊼ ) u like main vocals huh😏💕 hehe

i dont really listen to boygroups bc i hate men but i do love exo and shinee🤍💙 if u want a shinee rec listen to Orgel♡ my fave by kibum is one of those nights(jpn) and bad love and helium and honest and another life and good good and*gets booed* (´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)

well i do like songs by boygroups but mainly older onea bx nowadays they all sound the same😭 its like trrrrrrrpumpum *loud weird uninteresting synth sound* blalalababa *low weird bad rap* aaaaaA *off key shriek* :/ i go to kpop choreo class and learning where to place the moves in those songs is impossible like girl whete is the rhythm ... ･ิĹ̯･ิ

anyway i'll try to send my doggie pic separately(｡◕ˇ_ˇ◕｡)

byeeeee ilyyy

(totally mysterious anon💗)

okay i’m putting this under a read more bc it got so long </3

yeah we’re not allowed to send images on anon 😔 you have a dog, though?? i bet it’s so cute. i have two dogs, too 💕 did you know momo has an evil little dog? it’s super cute, too, even though it sounds kinda like a demon

yes! her name is bbuyo. ikr. women and cats make my heart stop a little like 💘 noo it’s true, the majority of my favs are vocals <3

okay! these are my current tops in each category. i’m currently listening through and categorizing their discography again so it’s constantly changing. my absolute tops, though are: cry for me, just be yourself; 1, 3, 2; doughnut

performances/mvs: cry for me; doughnut; the feels (first performance i saw<3); cheer up

title tracks/singles: up no more; likey; alcohol-free; TT

b-sides: stuck in my head; bring it back; cruel; last waltz; hell in heaven

japanese: just be yourself; perfect world; breakthrough

obviously don’t feel obligated to listen to any of them. but lmk if you like any of them (or if you hate them and why. i love different perspectives on music tbh) or if you like any of their other songs!

lorelei is so pretty. my favs are galaxy, the rain, chaconne, and pretty pretty. lc was actually the group that really got me into kpop. i listened to others before, but they were the group that i really fell in love with first. they’re on hiatus now since their contracts ended, but they’ve mentioned that they’d love to have a reunion for their tenth anniversary next year 🤍

sojung doesn’t have a lot of solo music rn, so i’d definitely recommend listening to everything she’s released. it’s mostly (exclusively?) ballads. my favorites, though, are: love in the clouds, nothing between us, and it’s alright (soundtrack). love in the clouds is her most recent single, and she basically said it’s a feel good song to reflect how much happier she’s become in the past couple years (x). she’s been through so much, so i’m so glad she’s finally getting to experience so much happiness and peace in her life again, and pursue the career that she wants.

ahh orgel is so nice. one of those nights????? omg i love it?? like genuinely added it to my favorites playlist omg. good good too! i like the others, too, but those two were definitely my favorites <3 i really do like his voice

yeah… the newer groups are like…. idk what’s going on with them tbh? like i know they’re very performance based, mostly for dance, but like…. the music still needs to be enjoyable ;; but if they’re difficult to dance to too……… anyway, idk any bg music other than txt, but that’s kind of how i feel about itzy. they’re good performers, but they’re music kind of gives me a headache. and combined with their sets/bkgs its just overwhelming for me like 😵‍💫

also to a lesser extent aespa ;; i actually do listen to their music, but i’m always like, idk if i enjoy this actually. the lyrics makes sense in the context of their lore but like… i just don’t know lol. i really like the members, though. i hope they get more songs where they can just like… actually sing. they’re actually really good vocalists so like… let them sing fr 😑 have you heard illusion? you should listen to it. i have so many thoughts about it and i can’t sort out a single one

that’s soo cool that you do dance classes though!! they sound so fun. tbh idk anything about dancing but i loove watching performances. how long have you been dancing for?

i hope this week is good for you ilyy mysterious anon 🤍

#msg #tyy for being interested in the music i like i literally never talk about it #the more i like something the less i speak about it #unless directly asked and then it turns into this 😐#anyway ilyyy and im glad you saw the full msg before i trimmed it for privacy 🤍

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